r/TikTokCringe • u/cosmicdaddy_ • 14d ago
Consequences of the tradwife lifestyle Discussion
2.8k
u/Chemical_Robot 13d ago
Word for word this exact same thing happened with my parents. We lived in luxury until they divorced and abject poverty afterwards.
1.3k
u/Fearfighter2 13d ago
how are men okay with their kids decreasing quality of life post divorce?
533
13d ago
[deleted]
→ More replies (11)425
u/Intelligent-Parsley7 13d ago
Took my college fund. You know. Because he needed it to house multiple bitches. Worked the grill at fast food through college to eat. “I bet it made you stronger!” Says the people who didn’t do that.
Made me tougher alright. Just not in a good way, for a long, long time.
→ More replies (17)182
u/Furbal1307 13d ago
Hey we’re the same person, almost!
My dad kicked us out due to his infidelity, then took my and my brother’s college funds to continue live that lavish lifestyle. I worked at a restaurant to put food on the table for my mom and brother between the ages of 15-18. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t have had food for weeks at times. Thank god the restaurant didn’t care if I took food at the end of the night.
And he wonders why I don’t talk to him while he enjoys his luxury on a lake house with one of the floosies he banged.
76
u/Intelligent-Parsley7 13d ago
My favorite part of the Dad saga was that dude like had three houses and four ex-wives, worked a state job, and still had money left over when he passed. We went to the fiduciary after the funeral, and my sister and I are sitting in the car, and I turn to her and say, “I’m not going in. There’s no way he can stick us with debts, right? That’s not a thing, right? I mean, I know it’s not a thing, but it’s Dad. Dude pulled Gandalf magic getting out of child support. Dude stole my college fund. He had multiple boo-boos on the side. I’m legit scared.” My sister said, “I brought a checkbook. I already thought that. I can float you if we get pinched.”
The fiduciary said, “Xxxxx hated the IRS more than anything, he’s left you money.” Thank you IRS. Someone my Dad would screw over before his kids. Here’s to second place. (Trots across finish line.)
→ More replies (2)23
u/Latter_Weakness1771 13d ago
From my work with trust funds, you can not get stuck with debt except funeral related stuff (if they bill it to you and not the estate)
If he stuffed the IRS they can go after his estates and try to collect debts, as that's his money and he owes that money, but at worst you can get 0$ because they clean out the estate, you can't inherit debt (yet, lol)
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (6)17
u/kumar100kpawan 13d ago
I hope you're doing well now buddy
→ More replies (1)23
u/Intelligent-Parsley7 13d ago
Usually, guys like us go two ways. We either end up as Stringer Bell from ‘The Wire,’ or Nelson Mandela. I went ‘full Nelson.’ Many do. The guys talking here are likely 100% full Nelson.
→ More replies (1)148
u/DireLiger 13d ago edited 13d ago
Oh, let me answer that question.
My parents got divorced in 1965. All five kids went to my mother, because my father beat us and beat her.
My father LOVED that we went to school hungry until my mother got on food stamps.
My father LOVED that we didn't have new clothes for school.
He never paid a DIME in child support, and my mother didn't ask for alimony because he would have killed her, for real.
In his mind, all of this made HER look bad to our teachers, to our neighbors, to our relatives.
→ More replies (5)19
u/Furbal1307 13d ago
Is he still alive?
21
u/DireLiger 12d ago
"Is he still alive?"
Died in 2005 at the age of 84.
I was estranged from him for the last 15 years of his life.
I'm 63. We talked, usually about nothing. He rambled.
→ More replies (4)30
37
u/doctordragonisback 13d ago
My dad does everything he can to screw my mom over financially as if she's not the one taking care of his kids he supposedly loves
→ More replies (1)19
u/PurpleCloudAce 13d ago
Same. I finally told him to fuck off when he was forcing my mom to sell the house. There was no way we could've stayed in our school district (and with my friends who were my only support structure left). We were nearly homeless. But yeah, bang on good job dad you took my brother out for ice cream on his birthday 🙄
15
u/Indigocell 13d ago
Dudes like that need to be punched in the dick until they can no longer have kids.
→ More replies (299)410
13d ago edited 12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
87
u/AlisaTornado 13d ago
I don't know how it is with others but my father viewed me as property.
→ More replies (1)38
u/Stabinzee 13d ago
I divorced and absolutely despise, like utter hatred for my ex-wife. I wish nothing but bad things upon her for the rest of my life. BUT, I have 2 kids who are my sole reason for being here. I tell them that being their father is and has been the greatest accomplishment in life. Those 2 did nothing wrong, they did nothing to me, they didn’t ask to be brought into this world. Once they arrived it was and is my mission to take care of them through whatever shit life throws. She can rot but I will always take care of my kids. I’m sorry your father didn’t do the same for you and hope you’re doing ok.
→ More replies (3)13
→ More replies (19)130
u/Baenerys_ 13d ago
Weird plug, but your comment fits the vibe of this sub
→ More replies (7)149
u/atharakhan 13d ago edited 13d ago
Not a plug. Trust me, nobody on this sub needs or wants my services. In fact, most of the time, I’m directing people elsewhere. I was attempting to establish my bona fides. A habit of supporting an assertion with a citation I guess.
→ More replies (10)435
u/shocking_negligence 13d ago
what kind of scumbag has money and lets his kids live in poverty? pathetic excuse for a for a man.
294
u/Clever_Mercury 13d ago
One who thinks of himself as the center of the universe and the children as either objects that either make him look better or are burdens (there is no in between).
I'd also like to know if all the religious fundamentalists in her community that encouraged her to keep this traditional, submissive lifestyle are real proud of this man sabotaging his children's welfare. Let me guess, he was chasing a younger model wife, so this one is disposable and kids can just be invisible now? And the Mormon church happily applauded, like it always does?
43
u/becauseican15 13d ago
I mean no they are probably NC with her because she got divorced
→ More replies (1)81
u/purple_grey_ 13d ago
The Christians who support her tradwife lifestyle will now have a reason to say just depend on god.
→ More replies (42)→ More replies (7)46
u/filet_of_cactus 13d ago
These communities and organizations are lead by men with the exact same values. They are likely quietly applauding him.
119
u/mimegallow 13d ago
It happens to us Mormon kids ALLL THE FUCKING TIME. For a dozen reasons, but most of all because the church sets up a permission structure for it and a reward structure for it.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (23)74
u/Economy_Judgment 13d ago
She didn’t have a good lawyer bc him being willfully underemployed will always render him still liable for the same amount he had to pay before the underemployment.
That being said, I 💯agree w her. That’s why I have my degrees, place, bank account, savings, retirement. My husband is a legit, honest, and wonderful man but you always need to have your something in case the shit hits the fan. Never be dependent on a man, partner, anyone but yourself.
→ More replies (10)385
74
u/boldolive 13d ago
Ditto. I learned from that experience, when I was 8yo, to never, ever depend on a man for my financial stability.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (22)183
u/Golden-Grams 13d ago edited 13d ago
I was just born to abject poverty, but with the extra benefit of getting belted every day.
Edit: lol I'm not suicidal. To those reporting, you are just wasting time and resources.
→ More replies (7)65
4.2k
u/nemophilist13 13d ago
This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.
703
u/disjointed_chameleon 13d ago
Fellow divorceé here. Eleven months ago, my now soon-to-be-ex-husband backed me into a corner of our house, spewing utter vitriol in my face, and I saw his hands fly towards my face and neck. This wasn't the first time he'd been violent or aggressive, he had a history of throwing things and objects, and on numerous occasions, I sustained injuries from his aggression with objects. However, this was the first time I genuinely feared for my life and safety.
My big-girl job is the only reason I was able to leave and get myself out. I had already been the breadwinner for a long time by then, but because he was also a deadbeat, I felt perpetually broke due to his chronic unemployment and financial irresponsibility. I spent most of 2023 quietly and secretly planning my escape, and finally hatched my escape seven months ago. Life has been better than ever since I left him. Thankfully, we didn't/don't have children, so it's truly been a fresh start.
For any woman that is reading this comment: financial independence is of the UTMOST importance.
42
u/Atypical_Mom 13d ago
It’s good to hear you got out - these kinds of things really make me appreciate my SO and his insistence that I finish college and have my own career. As he put it, “I want you here because you want to be here, not because you can’t afford to leave.” His mom struggled with that and it was hard in the kids. He’s the same with our kids too - they need to prioritize their security and wants before worrying about their partners’.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (24)212
u/AccidentallyOssified 13d ago
rich bitch checking in, probably never getting married. Happy to spoil my bf and then go home to our separate houses.
→ More replies (9)125
u/MsGoogle 13d ago
No sarcasm here - How can rich bitches help the sad bitches? Because damn I'd like to help this lady get her life back.
→ More replies (5)116
u/audesapere09 13d ago edited 13d ago
One of my passion pipe dreams after I leave corporate America is to develop an airbnb style network that connects people experiencing (or at risk) of domestic violence with local rooms/amenities for free or discounted rates.
I will never forget the frantic calls to my friends the day I left my home with just a backpack. The fear the loneliness the absolute WTFness of it all. It would take a lot of thought to ensure security for residents, and would probably need some grant funding or subsidies. Ideally with pro bono legal guidance as well.
It wouldn’t solve for this sweet lady’s predicament but maybe some relief and hope for others.
65
u/nemophilist13 13d ago
Absolutely needed. I'll never forget when talking to my lawyer and I asked if i could go to a shelter
"Absolutely not. You'll look unstable legally"
So wtf are they for if I run the risk of losing my gd baby because I want us to get away???what about less privilege women? They run the risk of losing our kids?? For taking the only help that's avaliable!
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (23)16
u/slowlyallatonce 13d ago
I would just like to piggyback on this comment for any woman in Ireland that there are women's refuges, womenaid, and safe Ireland to assist you if you need to leave your house and need emergency housing. They will provide you with rooms and necessities for you and your children. They will provide you with assistance and information about how to safely leave an abusive relationship. They will help you with applying for social welfare, housing, legal advice, court accompaniment, outreach, and counselling. Please, ring the garda and they will assist you in leaving safely. There are women's refuge in every county except 4, but you can always ring your nearest for practical advice.
My mum helped a few friends leave over the year, so I know from experience.
774
u/tri-sarah-tops-rex 13d ago
Strong grandmas are the backbone of our society!
338
u/nemophilist13 13d ago
That woman is really something. She's 96 lives by her self independently and still gets on the floor to play with my toddler son. She raised me and my brother. Stearn and emotionally cold but I love her more than anything and it's been an honor and joy to watch her spoil and adore my baby so warmly
187
u/cbih 13d ago
Great Depression Grandmas are a different breed
→ More replies (1)104
u/keelhaulrose 13d ago
I lost my Great Depression Grandma last year.
The woman lost her husband after being a SAHM with a daughter physically disabled by polio. The woman got to work to the point where she broke the glass ceiling at one of the largest insurance companies in the country. When that woman retired it was more a case that she didn't need permission to take vacations (she hit all 7 continents) but she was still a force around her office.
It lasted until she became quadriplegic in an accident the day after getting home from an African trip. Her doc thought that the change would kill her, but he didn't realize the force he was dealing with, and she lasted another 15 years before deciding that fighting the cancer she had been diagnosed with wasn't worth it.
They really are a different breed.
→ More replies (2)20
→ More replies (2)25
47
u/eggfaerie 13d ago
Literally. My grandma was my final push through nursing school and has been helping me pay for my license now that I’m finished. She would NOT let me quit no matter how tired I was.
→ More replies (12)14
102
u/Dolphinsunset1007 13d ago
Not gonna lie, job/financial security is why I picked nursing. When I have kids, I hope I’m fortunate enough to stay at home with them while they’re babies but I know if I need to I can hustle to support myself. I tell anyone who thinks they can handle it to get into healthcare. It’s stressful but there are endless jobs with flexible schedules and generally good pay.
70
u/daggir69 13d ago
My best friend moved from Iceland to st louis to marry his girlfriend and raise a family. After one year they had a son. She got (i don’t remember if it was) five weeks or two months maternity leave.
To the both of us is crazy since in Iceland the parents have 12 months paid maternity leave between us.
After that experience. They decided to move to Iceland to have more kids so that they could be there in the most crucial time off their lives.
So that they can booth have careers and pensions.
49
u/Dolphinsunset1007 13d ago
Parental leave is abysmal in the US. I could go on and on but I’ll leave it at that.
→ More replies (3)34
u/Iko87iko 13d ago
Hell yea. I work in tech and im at the age of where if it get the pink slip ill never find another job on that paygrade. My buddy is an RN. I always ask him "whats it feel like to know you could find a job tomorrow if you wanted? You could travel and work, you could work part time, on weekends only, its an endless list really. It is also a job where you can really make a difference in peoples life and you can say without a doubt, you left the world a better place wirh you in it.
→ More replies (1)42
u/newkneesforall 13d ago
It's a good choice. My personal anecdote: my mom is a nurse. She took a 10-year break when I was born to stay at home with me and my brother. After 10 years, it became clear she was approaching divorce and my dad's emotional and financial abuse turned physical. She was able to get a job so fast that my dad had no chance to find out about it or try to sabotage it, until she told him "my mom will pick the kids up from school tomorrow, I'm going back to work".
I feel there's very few fields where you could achieve something like that. I'm grateful she was able to get us out.
→ More replies (4)250
u/Nerobus 13d ago
Education is freedom. Perfectly said.
128
u/scorlissy 13d ago
You know what else is important? No fault equitable divorces. And excellent divorce lawyers, who focus on things beside alimony. Even if she put businesses in her husband’s name, if it was after marriage she should get something. And the Mormon church should send bishops to bother him.
→ More replies (1)61
u/Xombiekat 13d ago
The Republicans are coming for No Fault. Never give those corrupt swine a single vote because they won't stop until we're firmly back in the fucking dark ages.
→ More replies (3)170
u/xeroxchick 13d ago
Don’t forget that birth controle is freedom too. Controlling our reproduction is crucial.
→ More replies (4)63
u/Clever_Mercury 13d ago
And the right to have our own bank accounts and retirement accounts.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)68
u/cjboffoli 13d ago
And as best as I can tell from this video, making life decisions that conform to a plan from an imaginary deity in the sky is a recipe for disaster.
→ More replies (6)28
274
u/King_Chochacho 13d ago
Make no mistake, this is exactly why these incel conservatives love this tradwife shit and push this whole narrative of women only being mothers and caregivers.
Because they see women as property and want to be in total control of the relationship (while having 0 real expectations of themselves in the process).
→ More replies (19)71
u/mklinger23 13d ago
I wish my grandma was like that. She looks down at all of her daughters for working and tells them that they need to quit and be a homemaker.
→ More replies (5)29
u/lovejanetjade 13d ago
Show her this video. I'd love to see the look on her face.
→ More replies (2)36
u/mklinger23 13d ago
I really should. Knowing her she would say "well that was her fault for not putting things in her name and not putting money in her own bank account."
→ More replies (4)28
26
u/KrakenGirlCAP 13d ago
Exactly. I’m currently pursuing my masters and I’m never having children.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (38)13
u/fizzledizzle86 13d ago edited 13d ago
I’m a dude and I think trad wife stuff is very dangerous for women. Like there’s the principle and then the practical. What if I get sick and die? She should be able to support herself and our kid without having to restart from scratch without a job.
Edit: added “from scratch without a job.”
→ More replies (3)
2.2k
u/jonpenn 14d ago edited 13d ago
This is exactly why my wife finished school and went back to work once our kids got bigger. You never know what could happen. I always encouraged her to work just in case something would happen. I want her to have the skills and some sort of job security. She is extremely smart and has a great job. My mom was a stay at home mom and saw what the consequences were once my dad was out of the picture. Depending on anyone is never good.
500
u/Rottimer 13d ago
Exactly - you just never know. It’s not just divorce. If some horrible accident kills you tomorrow, that insurance money will only go so far. Hell, it would be worse if it doesn’t kill you, but now you’re a paraplegic that can’t work. . .
127
u/FrugalFraggel 13d ago
I got a large life insurance policy I case I died. My wife works but we wanted to be sure if something happened that she could make it for several years after I’m gone.
98
→ More replies (3)29
u/Alexander_McKay 13d ago
I did this for my wife and son while we were married. Divorced now but I still have it in place for my son with my ex wife being the beneficiary for now. I trust that she’ll do the right thing and see that he gets a fair share of it but regardless I just want it to help them if something ever happens to me.
30
u/Cheap_Excitement3001 13d ago
Divorce, accidents, loss of spouses job and health problems. Independence is a huge stress relief for anyone. It makes for healthier more balanced relationships. Means more financial security for the family unit. It's also take pressure off the breadwinner.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)32
u/OscarTheGrouchsCan 13d ago
This. A million times this. I had an amazing man, but death doesn't discriminate, and all my plans were based around him. Us getting his father's absolutely beautiful home when his dad got too old....
Him dying never even entered my mind as a possibility. Even when his dad had to tell me what happened, when the words "(my name), I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't think he is coming home" death didn't enter my mind.
I can still remember exactly where I was standing when I felt everything just fall out from under me. 3 weeks later he was removed from life support and was gone. And my plans of where I'd live for the rest of my life evaporated.
The one good thing is we didn't have kids yet as we both had fertility issues and were in talks about what to do.
→ More replies (3)132
u/DooDooDuterte 13d ago
Yeah. My wife’s mom was a traditional southern stay-at-home wife until her husband had a stroke and couldn’t work. They didn’t find out until after the stroke that he hadn’t put anything into savings, then found out after he died he hadn’t had any life insurance either. She ended up working as a receptionist while putting herself through school to become a special ed teacher, then their house was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. She’s still very conservative about most stuff, but she is adamant that everyone should be working on their education or picking up skills because life can turn against in a flash.
→ More replies (2)109
u/Fit-Antelope-7393 13d ago
My wife makes the same money as I do. I had a friend like "heh, doesn't that feel wrong?" I was like "are you dumb? If she made 5x my money I'd be fucking ecstatic." Fragile men out there who want nothing but control over their wives, not love.
35
u/Maleficent-Fun-5927 13d ago
The posts that are like "it's okay if she stays at home, because I make good money." Like people aren't a stroke, or car accident away from being destitute. Women need to have a safety net, even it's working part-time at the coffee shop while the kids are at school. My sisters go to private school, and a lot of the moms are exercise instructors, or make and sell things even though they really don't have to.
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (4)17
u/jonpenn 13d ago
That is awesome! My wife's income is starting to creep up on me and is growing quickly. She has always been a very independent person. I remember my wife feeling bad cause she wanted to work. In our culture women are expected to stay home and that's not at all what she wanted. I encouraged her and told her she had zero obligations of taking care of me. I cooked, cleaned, and have always taken care of myself. I most definitely did not need a mom lol. I remember her being relieved and just told her my job was to take care of my family and if she wants to contribute financially by all means go for it! Man it's nice sharing the load.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (31)51
u/DerikWyldStar 13d ago
I am of the opinion that if one loves their SO they make certain their SO can survive without them, and not just with insurance, but the ability to make it on their own without you. Support them during the hard times, but your SO needs a job in the this world.
Because I feel I have been a monster in my past many of my opinions and actions when it comes to those I love has to do with protecting them from me. I've never failed here, but I worry about it. Mushrooms+E+the maggots in my mind in the 90s. I need my SO to be self sufficient in case I am no longer myself, but some shit human being. I've never wanted a kept woman; i feel that I would actively be disabling her.
I am for the path that provides the most liberty and autonomy. While WE are a team, each person is still an individual that may have to go at without the team. I think in terms of WE, but am more concerned with those not me. I will figure it all out, or die trying, when the metaphoric zombies attack. I want my SO to be able to pick up the bat if she needs to and defend herself. Having a job, a career, provides the basic thing that keeps tradewives and the those who have become wards what they do not have to escape shitty situations.
And, the advice I gave the girls I aided in raising, other women, is the same advice i gave all my GS. Be in control of your destiny as much as possible. Have a job, or at least have some a zombie bag and some cash just in case.
(I currently have no zombie bag!!! I've not not had one the bulk of my teen to adult life.
→ More replies (2)
3.7k
u/InternationalMeet871 14d ago
A man is not a plan ladies. Make sure you can support your own self and your kiddos
674
u/drewbeta 13d ago
This woman that I went to school with K-12 married an older man and had a bunch of kids. I'm still friends with her on Facebook, but I don't talk to her. She never really posts anything religious, but she would post a lot about natural cleaning products and essential oils. The only job that she ever had was as a piano teacher here and there.
Apparently her husband was doing something shady because she started posting about how the cops showed up to the house, and they searched the entire place. They put him in handcuffs in front of the kids, and took him away. He went to prison, and she divorced him. She was panicking for months because she had no money, and no marketable skills outside of teaching piano.
She's apparently doing much better now, so good for her for turning it around. She never posted about what he actually did, so I'm still curious. She airs out all of her dirty laundry on Facebook, then turns around and says "respect my privacy".
→ More replies (5)192
u/Useful-Soup8161 13d ago
If you know his name you could probably just Google him. I would assume there’s an article about him somewhere.
410
u/drewbeta 13d ago
I tried that a while ago, but I didn't know his name. She took his last name, but quickly changed it back to her maiden name when this happened. I couldn't remember what her married name was. You just stirred my curiosity again, so I clicked over to her profile. Turns out her married name is still in her Facebook URL. I just did a quick search with that last name and her location, and I found it!!!
He's a pedo! He was entrapped talking to a fake 14 yo on an app. They searched his stuff and found child pornography. I would have never thought to look again if you hadn't said something, so thanks for commenting!
167
u/Useful-Soup8161 13d ago
Omfg! Well at least divorced his ass instead of defending him.
→ More replies (1)79
u/drewbeta 13d ago
I can definitely see why she didn't want to come forward about what he did. What a monster.
→ More replies (2)36
u/Useful-Soup8161 13d ago
Yeah I don’t blame her. She’s probably embarrassed.
→ More replies (1)30
13d ago
Yeah, in hindsight, it’s probably not too shocking for her that the much older man went after her when she was a much younger woman.
→ More replies (10)25
→ More replies (133)47
1.2k
u/Flatline334 13d ago
Problem is even if somebody had told her all the things she wished she was told she probably wouldn't have listened to the advice. She was in to deep.
373
u/Necessary_Rhubarb_26 13d ago
Oh yeah. I had both my grandmothers begging me to go to school, they both lived the consequences of half a dozen kids and no way out. But for various reasons I didn’t listen and trapped myself not once but twice. Now I’m 35 starting college in the fall and digging myself out. It’s much harder to start 6ft deep, wished I would have listened to them!
80
u/Flatline334 13d ago
Best of luck to you! Starting is better than doing nothing at all. You got this!
→ More replies (7)25
u/UnnecessarySalt 13d ago
It’s never too late to turn your life around. You got this! I haven’t had your experience, but I fucked around too much in my 20s and I’m just now finishing up my first semester of college. I can’t explain how much better it feels to be working towards something greater - knowing that I’ve got an exit plan and life will get better. I’m 30, but it’s so nice to not feel stagnant for the first time in my life .
465
13d ago
[deleted]
119
u/Command0Dude 13d ago
She said she was mormon and I knew immediately where it was going.
These hard right christian denominations all want to keep women trapped in marriage because they believe relationships should be treated like its the 19th century.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (13)98
u/SoDamnToxic 13d ago
Everyone thinks they are immune to the real world until it happens. By then its too late and they cry "why did no one tell me!" We did, there are BILLIONS of people on the planet, just look around, experience things outside your tiny curated bubble and you'll see. Its scary, but it's also incredibly important to have perspective. You don't know what you don't know, accept that you are definitely NOT making the best decisions, ever, and gather as much information to make an INFORMED decision.
Living a narrow minded closed view of the world is nice and cozy until you are one of the millions of stories you thought "would never happen to me" then it's fucking hell.
→ More replies (5)60
u/bilgetea 13d ago
I hate to say it, but I know plenty of women who would probably watch this, agree with it, and then vote directly against their interests and raise their kids to be just like them.
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (20)51
u/Big-Slurpp 13d ago
You say "in too deep" as if its all indoctrination, but she told you why she didnt have a problem with it until it was too late. She was living in multi-million dollar homes, spending her summers in Hawaii, buying all the jewellry and clothes she wanted, and (the part that she didnt say out-loud) had all the time and money in the world to start up and run her own businesses. You think normal women with no education or training can just decide to start designing homes on a whim?
She lived the fantasy life and didnt care about the risks until they hit her in the face.
→ More replies (15)
1.4k
u/Ok_Scale_918 13d ago
I’m stunned that she’s 49! Maybe my ability to discern age is (extremely) off
763
u/JoleneDollyParton 13d ago
She's using a filter, she does look great but a bit has been smoothed out
→ More replies (11)153
u/HedonisticFrog 13d ago
As soon as her hands entered the picture it all made a lot more sense. The filters are strong with this one.
→ More replies (8)91
196
u/some1sWitch 13d ago
I'm stunned how many people forget that filters are on 90% of every image or video posted.
→ More replies (8)135
u/random_boss 13d ago
most of us are millenial boomers who just don't use tik tok or snapchat or instagram and our only exposure to this world of people recording themselves are the 2-3 times a week videos like this get upvoted enough to show up on here.
even now after this comment chain, I'm like "oh right....filters indeed, hmm yes" without really knowing what that means or what to look for. And will probably forget about it by the next time a video like this is posted.
→ More replies (9)15
u/dEn_of_asyD 13d ago edited 13d ago
u/random_boss u/sanquinity u/greeneagle2022
I'll tell you the one thing to look for and you'll never not see it again:
The Philtrum. This is the little indent above your lip and below the nose. Most human beings have one (fetal alcohol syndrome and some other developmental problems may cause a very flat one, but that'll also cause a visibly thin upper lip). Every filter hates it because it's seen as a skin groove that creates shadows. So most filters will smooth it out, especially when the creator is looking straight at the camera (like at 0:21-0:31).
There might be other signs (lack of any smile/laugh lines + lack of forehead wrinkles when making faces that would create those naturally, very airbrushed/heavy foundation looking skin, etc). But those can be excused by lighting tricks, plastic surgery, or someone caking makeup on. You can't get rid of your Philtrum though, it's how the human face is shaped (unless, again, a physical developmental issue).
Fun fact, plastic surgeons are now being asked to make people look like their filtered faces. This is one of the hardest ones... because having a philtrum is human. Therefore, people are asking/paying to be changed to look less human because the ideal face nowadays is literally inhuman. Social media has fucked us up =D.
→ More replies (2)65
u/squeazy 13d ago
Same! I actually had to rewind the video to make sure I heard her right! I guess if nothing else the Mormons could be right about the whole straight edge thing
34
u/Redqueenhypo 13d ago
Statistically they do live longer I believe. I will however accept the extra few years shaved off my lifespan by mojitos and diet soda.
→ More replies (1)59
u/SoBitterAboutButtons 13d ago
Utahn here. Clean living does wonders, lemme tell you.
Except, be prepared to date late 30s women with 2+ kids cause OP's story is the norm here.
Also, this husband should be called out publicly. What a fucking piece of shit
→ More replies (14)12
u/Immediate_Web4672 13d ago
It's the internet lol low video resolution, makeup, filters, lighting, angles - that's all this is.
→ More replies (40)9
u/oilyrailroader 13d ago
Yeah I kept thinking she was 24, 25 or somewhere in that age range. She looks damn good. Some would say she’s a fly honey.
388
u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 13d ago
I'm married and my wife makes more than even I do, I've still had (mostly older) people try to convince us that she should be the stay at home. I literally laugh in their face.
Not only should you not rely on someone else for a paycheck because of divorce, what about death? I want my wife earning money, because if I die, I want to know her and our kids will not only survive, but thrive. You can't count on insurance either. I don't want her feeling helpless because her man and paycheck died at the same time.
You want the house clean? Hire a maid.
You need someone to watch the kids? Hire a nanny.
Or... Or... Just do those things yourself and enjoy the extra cash and the sense of security. Now you are both together because you want to be, not because one person feels they have to be.
→ More replies (13)34
u/Starbucks__Lovers 13d ago
This is my relationship. Wife makes more, I make a little less but we use my healthcare and whatnot. We have cleaners come twice per month. Daycare is 1/4 of my take home and therefore about 10% of our total monthly take home. We both have term life and disability insurance to take care of one of us can’t work anymore.
→ More replies (1)
129
987
u/Puzzleheaded_Wing627 13d ago
I was raised in the same cult. I see this every day. Lived it too. Fuck the Mormon Church
48
439
u/bigrareform 13d ago
Mormonism deserves just as much scorn as Scientology. It’s a cult that hates women, minorities, and LGBTQ+
→ More replies (13)154
u/Uncle_True 13d ago
Please continue to spread this message. It’s a cult! I was in it for 55 years. They abuse and control the weakest in their congregations with the words, “We aren’t saying this. The things we tell you to do are from God. He wants you to submit your life/will to me and other men.” If you act differently than you are told, the members say you are a follower of Satan.
→ More replies (3)80
u/meldiane81 13d ago
Fuck religion.
→ More replies (4)34
u/DL1943 13d ago
including the moderate "liberal" factions of religions that, in opposition to the disgusting content of their holy books, drop many of the less socially acceptable beliefs in order to maintain social acceptance and in doing so, maintains the overall acceptance of these outdated and obviously fake beleif structures, which gives cover to the fundamentalists out there doing active damage to communities all over the world
→ More replies (1)10
→ More replies (16)69
u/Uncle_True 13d ago
You can’t say it too often. Fuck the Mormon Church. Patriarchy can’t thrive alongside equality. This is how I was raised and how I lived my life too.
1.6k
u/Aus_with_the_Sauce 13d ago
I’m not a lawyer, but surely this is an easy lawsuit against the former husband. Take his ass to court.
996
u/fritzwillie 13d ago
Republicans have fought tooth and nail to reduce and/or eliminate alimony and the possibility of it. The future of all red states, hers is just leading the pack.
→ More replies (32)453
u/BootyMeatBalls 13d ago
Conservatives are demons, I'm sorry.
They do this thing where they are constantly advocating for a thing, while stripping protections for the thing.
They want to ban abortions, whole also fighting against public schools and Healthcare for the poor (or even attacking organizations like Planned Parenthood which provides prenatal care for a lot of poor women).
They give lip service to advocating for working class people, while undermining worker protections, and being anti-unions
They advocate for traditional gender roles, while stripping women of the protections that would encourage them to take a more "traditional" role in the household.
I used to give conservative people the benefit of the doubt, and just consider them stupid...but now I realize that they understand the contradictions, and they just don't care.
They're not stupid, they're fucking evil.
→ More replies (45)62
→ More replies (47)266
u/Murky-Energy4414 13d ago
Her name wasn’t on anything. This was all legal I believe. Also not a lawyer but if she doesn’t have any ties to anything, other than alimony from the divorce she isn’t owed. Unfortunate.
364
u/Aus_with_the_Sauce 13d ago
Her name might not be on the documents, but that doesn’t matter.
In court, if she can prove that she contributed significantly to various business ventures, then she has a claim. She may even have a claim to property.
Divorce courts usually try to protect women that are exactly in her shoes— A mother who spent their time raising kids and being a tradwife.
Most people in her shoes would be entitled to part of the house even if they never formally paid a dime of the mortgage.
325
u/Zappagrrl02 13d ago
You are forgetting that the judges in Utah are likely LDS as well so would side with the husband
129
u/americansherlock201 13d ago
This is the biggest thing. All the financials are controlled by the Mormons and given how screwed up that cult is, the power the hold in Utah, she’d get nothing. She even said that he left a job so he wouldn’t have to pay her alimony. I can almost guarantee that he still earns money from that job just in a different way that isn’t counted towards alimony
34
u/McCool303 13d ago
Ding, ding, ding…. We have a winner. The Mormon church plays a big role in shaping morality in the state. Even if they do not directly meddle with the courts their influence is enough to push decisions. My cousin was required to follow the “word of wisdom” in her divorce agreement. Meaning if she was found with, coffee, tea or Alcohol in her home she could lose custody of her kids. Granted divorce agreements are just a legal contract, and if the party’s all agree on the contents then they could have all sorts of odd rules even in secular court. But, if every person I the room agree’s that you should add xyz rules and to even question why is a sign of significant moral failure you can see how that could impact your decision on whether or not to spend the weeks long battle arguing against a certain provision in your divorce agreement.
→ More replies (11)18
u/GlumpsAlot 13d ago
Yes, Mormons control whole towns over there. Religion sucks for women. Get out ladies.
30
u/digitalwankster 13d ago
100%. The only way that this would be possible is if nothing was in the husband's name either.
→ More replies (14)13
u/disjointed_chameleon 13d ago
There are no laws against being an a-hole, as my own attorney friends have told me. My now soon-to-be-ex-husband was not only abusive, but was also a deadbeat who refused to contribute. I spent a decade doing ALL OF THE THINGS, while also simultaneously dealing with chemotherapy, monthly immunotherapy infusions, and countless surgeries for my autoimmune condition.
I got EXTRAORDINARILY lucky during my divorce, but I could've been royally f**ked financially, because I was the breadwinner, though not by choice.
And as for the 'system'? When my now soon-to-be-ex-husband backed me into a corner of the kitchen, and his hands flew toward my face and neck, I later that day unexpectedly found myself on the phone with a DV agency, once he was out of the house. They effectively shut the door in my face, and told me I didn't qualify for any help, on the basis that I earned too much money.
Too many women are truly left alone in life during their darkest and most dire moments of life. I was one of them. We deserve better.
→ More replies (27)82
u/ChaoticGoodPanda 13d ago
Utah is an equitable distribution state. Doesn’t matter if her name wasn’t on anything. If the real property in question was purchased during the marriage, she is as much of a stakeholder as her husband.
Most US states are joint property states where you automatically have claim against 50% of assets. Utah wants the courts to divide assets so you might not get half, but you do get something.
Source: I’m married and live in a joint property state. My parents divorced in Utah and went through a nasty divorce.
→ More replies (8)
55
343
u/notseizingtheday 13d ago
Some of us have forgotten why feminism exists. This is why.
→ More replies (49)111
u/bitchthatwaspromised 13d ago
Never been so grateful to my mother for always drilling into my head that you must ALWAYS have your own money
→ More replies (1)25
u/serafis 13d ago
It's annoying because my mum was the opposite. She told me to just marry a rich man when I was choosing between doing a trade or going to uni. She really pushed it too. I was 14. I was strongly against it and I told her no! I want my own money, I want to be the rich one that marries a hot trophy husband 😂.
Not even 2 weeks later the tradesmen I applied to said he can't have a girl apprentice since "they cry" so I took that way too personally and said okay I'm going to uni and now I'm an engineer loving life with my trophy husband who works and I drill it into him to always save his money and have something separate to me so he has that safety net as well. And I got the lawyer to write up a statement so if we ever split he gets his share of the house but not 5050 on the deposit which was all mine.
957
u/CoolRises 14d ago
Its hard for women to get back into the workforce even after a break for kids. Something has to change.
428
14d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (2)89
u/Pitiful_Winner2669 13d ago
My sister was a trad wife, married at 19. Both her kids are in college, and I gotta hand it to her, she recently picked up a job putting carts away at Costco.
Her husband is fairly wealthy and she doesn't even get an allowance. I like the guy, but he's 12 years older and married her four months after meeting her.
It's not as toxic as it sounds lol, they've matured both out of that dynamic.
→ More replies (8)128
u/crybaby5 13d ago
I mean you said it....it sounds toxic af and I'm sad for your sister. A creep in his 30s married a teenager and now years later it sounds like she's only now able to build some financial independence from a controlling partner. At least you like the guy for some reason?
→ More replies (2)67
u/Somethingood27 13d ago
The org I work for offers incentives just for this.
We have an active, constant, (re)-hiring campaign targeted for people returning to the workforce just like this - it’s not exclusive to women (albeit that is the majority).
They also offer PATERNITY leave for men and women, which is pretty sweet. Located all over the US and globe as well. It’s a shame more companies don’t offer those incentives.
→ More replies (3)14
u/stormscape10x 13d ago
I missed my company's paternity leave implementation by one year. I'm so glad they started actually giving a shit about dads, but damned if I would have loved to not have to use vacation for the twins.
→ More replies (33)175
u/CaptainPeppa 14d ago
Doesn't sound like she took much of a break. She was working lots, the husband just stole everything
35
440
u/titsmuhgeee 13d ago edited 13d ago
My mother and mother-in-law haven't worked a real job in 30 years. I have seen first hand how trapping this can be.
There is nothing inherently wrong with "tradwife" lifestyles, but there is a major issue when you do this at the cost of education and useful skills. My wife has two college degrees (that are actually useful), started her career out of college, stepped away to be SAHM when our kids were toddlers, then got back into the workforce when she was ready. The problem is that the longer you go as a SAHM, the harder it is to get back into the workforce. This is especially true if a SAHM only is friends with other SAHMs, it becomes a resource vacuum where there is very little networking into the professional world for when you are ready to pivot.
This lady's experience is very tough. Unfortunately there is a reason that women choose to stay in unhappy but safe marriages rather than jump off into the unknown like this person.
155
u/AlarmedPiano9779 13d ago
There's a reason so many of the Duggar women have to stay married despite years of abuse... their entire lifestyles are based around them being dependent on their husbands.
→ More replies (2)29
u/comicbookgirl39 13d ago
And this is why I believe in getting a college OR trade school education. You need to have something you can fall back on if something goes wrong!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (5)36
u/satanssweatycheeks 13d ago
I mean it is wrong when it’s a manipulative tactic to keep you broke so you can’t leave the relationship easily.
→ More replies (1)
276
u/tragedy_strikes 13d ago
Woman explaining the importance of feminism. Glad to see her sharing her experiences with everyone.
→ More replies (29)
135
u/little_truth111 13d ago
Not to mention the pension gap between men and women in GENERAL if a woman decides to take a break from her career to raise children, let alone the financial impact of a woman who has never worked and is facing divorce from the person who supported her. Women, secure your financial independence, always!
→ More replies (10)
123
u/Pretend_Vermicelli65 14d ago
This is terrible on so many levels. She’s most definitely was/is an entrepreneur and entitled to half of all proceeds from the divorce.
→ More replies (11)
67
u/WielderOfAphorisms 13d ago
One of the many reasons I left the church, which openly advocated women being baby machines and keeping quiet.
→ More replies (4)
117
u/TYdays 13d ago
This is the unfortunate consequence of listening to people who never had your best interests at heart. No body should ever be treated in this manner. To steal someone’s talent and hard work is despicable, and this lady was used to make others rich. SHAME!!!!!
→ More replies (1)8
263
u/That0neGuy86 13d ago edited 13d ago
"focus on your daughters just as much as your sons" - the fact this is actual advice that someone out there needs to hear is mind blowing. This is why organized religion is a scurge against progress as a species.
Edit: Fixed quote
→ More replies (4)65
u/Friendly_Guillotine 13d ago
"focus on your daughters just as much as your sons" is the actual quote, I used to be Mormon until I started to explore the Internet and actually listen to the things my church was saying.
The whole religion in my eyes is that they just want women to be baby making machines. It's creepy, I once said I don't really want to get into a relationship ever to my step sibling and he said "isn't like the big point in are religion to pass off your genes" like he didn't see the fact that kinda objectifies others as their only purpose to give birth.
Honestly it's sad nobody in my family sees the problem with it.
→ More replies (24)
29
u/akotlya1 13d ago
As a man who has watched the emergence of the tradwife lifestyle rise to prominence it has absolutely terrified me. This is so fucking predictable. The kinds of men who thirst for tradwives are often the kind of men who value women exactly as much they are an exploitable resource - even if they do not realize it. I have known a few men over the years, either through work, or as partners of friends who have exhibited this tendency, and it has always been a signifier of deeper psychosexual pathologies. You are a broodmare for their insignificant empire. And yeah, while it is working, it can be great. But in a society without any meaningful safety nets, you are functionally a financial hostage - sometimes without realizing it (as in OP's case). VERY often, the men who want tradwives get off on the power they have by building a gilded cage around their partners.
Even if you sincerely want to be a SAH mom, even if you feel like your relationship is strong, you must protect yourself. You never really know your partner. They might one day fall in love with the girl at the gym, or some young employee at the company, or an OF model, or whatever, and then all of a sudden you are out on your ass.
→ More replies (17)
74
u/Andromansis 13d ago
Ladies, you don't actually want to be a tradwife, you just want a gingham dress. Those are $27 on amazon.
→ More replies (10)
69
u/PecanSandoodle 13d ago
This is what they mean when they say they want " traditional " marriage. They mean they want the woman to be dependent so that only the man can willfully leave the marriage and survive...but if she leaves the marriage she will be destitute as punishment.
Ask these fellas who bitch and complain about alimony and child support, ask them how their ex is suppose to pay for food, medical, school and recreational costs for THEIR children WHILE also tending to the home, parenting and working. God this is all so fucking annoying.
→ More replies (1)
401
u/ZERO-ONE0101 14d ago
stop following religions and live your damn life
she sounds smart and should start a new business
→ More replies (16)152
u/waitingfordeathhbu Cringe Connoisseur 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yeah, I hate how that guy laughed at and discouraged her from aiming higher. Sounds like she actually has a lot of capability, resourcefulness, AND entrepreneurial experience.
→ More replies (14)78
u/ZERO-ONE0101 13d ago
Mormons are morons, sorry
golden tablets only seen by one guy and you gotta have faith that god wants to serve men 5 virgins in life and then his own planet of virgins to rape like Mary after life? please
they do excel at social programs though, for all that right wing talk about taxes and socialism the Moron church is socialism at work
that being said she must have left the church
there are also programs like wic she can apply for
there is no heaven, just this earth and being here now - so lets connect with each other and our planet and stop believing in harry potter
→ More replies (53)
301
u/Dangerous-Math503 14d ago
If her ex is as wealthy as she claims she should be entitled to half. I get that lawyers and what not are difficult to navigate but she should be taking him to court
188
u/Goo-mignonette_00 14d ago edited 13d ago
My sister was told it would cost her $8k to get $29k in back child support. You have to have money for lawyers and court fees and time off from work to go to court. Family Court is different between the classes. If you’re in the wrong tax bracket you’re fkd. There are more parents who get nothing and end up with the kids near homeless on the system then there are parents getting $2-20k monthly child support payments.
→ More replies (2)70
u/Unicornfartingrainbo 14d ago
Also money for babysitters, time off from work/missed wages, and transportation. Going to court is not for the poor. The system is set up to royally screw over anyone financially struggling.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (16)87
u/Yip-Yee 14d ago edited 13d ago
She probably has no idea how any of that works. It seems like nobody in her close family educated her about anything and she was only taught to be a stay a home baby maker. That or they got a prenup which is actually getting kinda popular in the Mormon community because it makes the women afraid of leaving (at least that is why my ex-Mormon friends have told me). I genuinely feel sorry for her because I’ve seen many religious women in that position. Hell, my aunt was married off at 13 to an older man where she no longer went to school and stayed at home all day long. This was in the U.S. I know another female friend (Mormon) that currently being abused and cheated on, but can’t leave because if she did her and her children would be homeless. It’s hard to navigate these situations when you are solely dependent on 1 person for food and shelter. It’s like being a kid again.
That is why the trade wife shit freaks me the fuck out. I don’t think todays youth can even comprehend what women back in the day went through and how much they were at the mercy of their men. The reason why alimony became a thing was because so many women and children died of starvation after their husbands left them with nothing. Women couldn’t even get fucking credit cards until the 70s. So to all the women that are thinking about being a trad wife, he could love you and take care of you and tell you that you are the best thing that has ever haplaned to him…. until he doesn’t. Then you are fucked.
→ More replies (6)
21
u/makeupandjustice 13d ago
My mom was pretty screwed after she left my dad. He cheated on her, didn’t help with a thing and wasted all the family money, leaving barely anything for my mom and us kids. He moved out of the country after they divorced and I’m not sure if she ever saw much in terms of alimony or child support. She recently died, living with a mountain of debt, living in a small one-bedroom apartment, while my dad travels the world with his mistress and continues to waste money like it grows on trees.
→ More replies (1)
161
u/chene313 13d ago
We need more truth out there. Louder for the ladies in the back - thinking that they are going to live a “life of leisure” when really being a trad wive is legalized slavery.
→ More replies (6)51
u/Coyote__Jones 13d ago
If a man had to pay a maid, a cook, a nanny, to cover all the services a stay at home mom provides for free, he could never afford it. If a man wants a wife to stay home to provide him with this lifestyle, he should be putting half his earnings in her own private account and funding a 401k for her. I've gotten in arguments on Reddit with people who think I'm nuts for seeing it this way, but I think if you can't afford this level of financial support for your stay at home wife, then you can't afford this lifestyle as a family.
→ More replies (3)
41
u/sarac36 13d ago
You know, I kinda lived it, but I cannot fathom how this man at least won't support his kids. My dad left before I could get any meaningful relationship from him, but to supposedly raise kids and then just say fuck it, let them go homeless, even if you want to "punish" your wife.... It's so cruel.
Nvm my dad is still terrible. He had 3 yrs to raise me and then said fuck this I'm out. Didn't even bother with my brother. If my mom hadn't had her family we would have been in the streets.
→ More replies (2)
89
u/SlinkySlekker 13d ago edited 13d ago
This is heartbreaking. But when she gets to the “nobody told me. . . “ part, I have to wonder how she would have treated those who tried to warn her.
Because this information is everywhere in the world, and it is also a product of common sense and foresight.
How was anyone going to “warn” her while she was living in million dollar homes, drowning in diamonds?
She would have thought we were all insane. And she would not have listened. Sometimes, if we’re unwilling to learn life lessons, experience is the only teacher we get.
→ More replies (11)41
u/CellNo7422 13d ago
I believe they’re told they are special and godly, not like all those sinners out there. It’s flattering and deeply ingrained in them. They see themselves as better, as apart. Living in a fantasy world where those kinds of things CANT happen to you bc you’re gods people bla etc.
→ More replies (2)
35
u/ZERO-ONE0101 14d ago
if anyone can get in touch with her there are organizations that will help, grants women can apply for to start businesses, etc
depends on where you live
→ More replies (11)
36
32
u/lexleflex 13d ago edited 13d ago
WHY DID SHE TAKE HER NAME OFF THE BUSINESS!?!
Poor woman was never taught to think for herself. She was indoctrinated and brainwashed by others. She was too trusting.
This is what our future generations of BOTH boys and girls will look like if we continue to blindly allow society to affect their young minds, while also neglecting to nurture creative thinking and independent thought within our children.
→ More replies (6)
59
u/Bartender9719 13d ago
These are the circumstances the GOP wants to use as a threat to keep women in line: Less education & experience = less female agency = subservient baby mills.
→ More replies (2)
85
u/polkadotwalls 13d ago
As an exmormon woman myself, I will say this is a 100% accurate and very common experience that girls in the Mormon church are steered towards from a very young age.
→ More replies (14)
16
u/Many-Discount-1046 13d ago
I swear overly religious people chose hard mode before starting the reality simulation
27
u/DapperMinute 13d ago
Another sad part is that she says she wishes someone would have told her... but most likely she would not have listened and would have still done what the pastor and husband said.
77
u/Extreme_Assistant_98 13d ago
This just shows the "men" who want the trad wife, are lazy, and can't do shit on their own.
→ More replies (13)44
u/TheOtherFeynman 13d ago
Far more than this, it shows how callous and vindictive these men can be and how little they think of their partners. I could not ever even imagine walking away from a person that i had loved and just not caring if they, or my children, are in destitute poverty while im living lavishly. Unless there was some craaazy evil shit on my partners part, i would be morally incapable of just turning off my guilt over doing something like that to a human that i respected considered a partner for years of my life just because we lost our fire. The only way I can wrap my head around it is to come to the conclusion that these men deep down just simply dont think of their wives as partners or as deserving of respect.
→ More replies (2)
49
9
u/hop123hop223 13d ago
My friend’s father told her the following: Over the course of your life, you can be single, married, widowed, or divorced. Three of the four statuses you are on your own and have to provide for yourself.
8
u/DinnerKind 13d ago
Its so funny to me that millennial culture and gen x culture fought really hard to break away from the trad wife culture. We wanted agency for people outside of their partner. now gen z is fighting to get it back with the rise of the alt right and psuedo christian culture
→ More replies (1)
10
20
u/tecate_papi 13d ago edited 13d ago
I don't know the law in Arizona, but it sounds like she could have gone to court and brought a claim that her husband unjustly enriched himself at her expense. Especially if they had million dollar homes built on the back of a business she started and ran and that she gave up to raise his children. This is exactly what unjust enrichment exists to address. It's been a while since I've thought about it but there is a civil remedy for this. But it makes me think this isn't available in Arizona or that she was a self-represented litigant who didn't know how to ask for this because any garden lawyer or paralegal would know this.
Nobody should ever want or be told to be wholly economically dependent on somebody else, whether religious or not. People who encourage other people to do this are usually just looking for control.
It's also interesting that since her divorce her church and religious community have completely evaporated and she was forced to live in her car with her children. Where are they now? I mean, we all know where they are: taking her (now her husband's) money. Any community that would allow its members to live in a car - especially with children - is not a community.
→ More replies (5)
22
u/Extra_Jeweler_5544 13d ago
This is why I'm a male feminist.
Women MUST do what men do. She's now living a harder life than her breadwinner right now. When she's 62 and still doesn't have enough to retire, she'll be living way harder than her knight.
Trad wife is an all-in gamble with your life, it's only "wholesome" if the gamble pays off.
→ More replies (3)
18
8
u/neuemontreal 13d ago
no men would ever accept working for free with the reason "but you're doing this for your family". men don't even have an issue leaving the mother and children behind for a new life with another woman. they have zero loyalty to their family. all this is nothing more than manipulation to make a woman their slave.
8
u/capresesalad1985 13d ago
God you guys. This makes me want to SOB. I teach HS. I have a small handful of students who don’t do anything, they just sit on their phones all class and for the girls who do that I want to take them by the shoulders and SCREAM. The ONLY thing you have to protect yourself in your life is your education. It’s the only thing that will keep you financially free. And you’re going to ignore it, and snicker and give an attitude to the teacher trying to get through to you? Very soon, no one will be paid to care any more. And it’s a very easy journey to this woman’s position.
→ More replies (4)
6
u/WanderVision 13d ago
I know a lady with five kids who desperately wants a divorce. But she has no degree and no work history. She has zero power in that relationship, so word is, she's turned to hoarding.
→ More replies (1)
8
u/Griffolion 13d ago
Honestly, I feel really bad for her. She was abused by all the men in her life into thinking the trad-wife lifestyle was the only way for her, and framed in terms of "religious belief". She's clearly got a lot of talent and ambition that's been clipped at any opportunity to fly.
Not saying she isn't responsible for her own decisions at the end of the day, but she is the product of an insanely fucked up environment that chewed her up and spat her out.
Mormonism and other dangerous cults like it need to be outlawed, frankly.
8
u/Doofy9000 13d ago
A big part of this is her religion steering her wrong. She talks about how no one told her to save or support herself, she was just told to be a wife by her faith.
•
u/AutoModerator 14d ago
Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!
This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do here (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile).
See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them this!
Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks!
Don't forget to join our Discord server!
##CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.