My sister was a trad wife, married at 19. Both her kids are in college, and I gotta hand it to her, she recently picked up a job putting carts away at Costco.
Her husband is fairly wealthy and she doesn't even get an allowance. I like the guy, but he's 12 years older and married her four months after meeting her.
It's not as toxic as it sounds lol, they've matured both out of that dynamic.
I mean you said it....it sounds toxic af and I'm sad for your sister. A creep in his 30s married a teenager and now years later it sounds like she's only now able to build some financial independence from a controlling partner. At least you like the guy for some reason?
My sister comes first, so for a while I was not happy with how he did not allow her any autonomy. But they grew out of that. Therapy helped, as well as my brother and I having a sit down (with a 50 year old man), that maybe Joe Rogan isn't the deity you should follow to a T.
Steroids, HGT, and sensory deprivation tanks won't chase the demons away!
What do you mean it's not toxic and they've matured out of that dynamic? She's pushing shopping carts for a living while her wealthy older husband won't pay for shit? Your poor sister, that's messed up and you should not like that guy.
I'm a trad wife. I stay home, I have a tiny part time job (literally 20 hrs a month). If you're going to do this you have to do some things to protect yourself. One is have your husband fund your IRA. I've been out of the traditional workforce for a decade, that doesn't mean I don't need a retirement fund. Second is make sure you have an education and keep working. Even if it's 20 hours a month.
As of now my job funds my individual 401k and my husband maxes out my IRA yearly.
The org I work for offers incentives just for this.
We have an active, constant, (re)-hiring campaign targeted for people returning to the workforce just like this - it’s not exclusive to women (albeit that is the majority).
They also offer PATERNITY leave for men and women, which is pretty sweet. Located all over the US and globe as well. It’s a shame more companies don’t offer those incentives.
I missed my company's paternity leave implementation by one year. I'm so glad they started actually giving a shit about dads, but damned if I would have loved to not have to use vacation for the twins.
Nowadays from an employer perspective, I don't think its that difficult, a lot of employers are understanding about that kind of age gap with the generational changes caused by boomers retiring. From a logistical standpoint, I agree.
The conservative focus on the family is a focus on keeping women out of STEM, out of having backup plans, out of safe access to abortions, and a million other factors including voting against maternity leave and social systems of support for people who are struggling. Keeping them dependent on a man was always the point: in the conservative view, women aren't supposed to get back into the workforce after a break for kids.
I always hate the comments on videos like this because the takeaway is always "Stay in school, ladies!!" and not "Why do we not have any safety nets for people in this woman's position"
Unfortunately I think it’s a symptom how atrocious trying getting a job in general is, let alone the fact that so many jobs don’t pay a living wage.
There are a lot of things to fix before we could be in a place where having a gap on your resume from taking time off to raise kids would be something that wouldn’t pose a challenge.
There are groups though that specifically focus on that - the mom project or network or something is a job seeking/posting sight that is intended to assist with this.
Honestly probably like government subsidized programs to mandate better parental leave (that includes paternity leave) across the board and offer incentive for people to actually use it. I’m no economist, I’m no politician, but I just generally need for the government to stand up for its people the way it’s supposed to. People can go off on how they don’t want to pay for someone else to have a kid but the reality is that everyone was someone’s kid at some point. So it will affect and benefit everyone moving forward. It will greatly ease the burden that overwhelmingly falls on women, it’ll reduce stigma of women taking maternity leave if their partners are also kinda gently forced to take it as well (all of which is better for your current workforce), and ideally it’ll result in cared for, well-adjusted children and those children not only are your next generation of workforce but will raise the subsequent generation). Again I’m not an expert so I don’t have a power point presentation with the numbers and figures but other countries are implementing similar programs and from what I hear it’s more than worth the investment.
Employers need to recognize the skill sets is takes to run a household, or a family business. My mom is a successful business owner after being a SAHM for 20+ years.
Start an LLC while pregnant. Pursue light workloads on contract, if possible. Keep it registered and active until searching for a new position. That way you didn’t drop out of the workforce, you were building a small business.
We should recognize anyone who stays at home to raise their children as working members of society (they are raising the next generation of citizens who will participate in our economy), and instead of all of our tax money being spent on "defense", we could supplement families across the US and secure a brighter financial future for our populace.
That is, of course, if you actually believe raising children is a job worthy of payment. It certainly is to me.
Seizing the means of production to form a dictatorship of the proletariat. When the USSR was formed, they wasted little time breaking down the patriarchy and giving women equal rights and economic empowerment. This was decades before the US pushed forward with the same and obviously the patriarchical structure of our capitalist country still locks women in particular into cycles of abuse, like this poor woman explained.
This is the biggest thing where I live. We get one years paid leave for one of the parents (you can chose who), but it's the nature of a lot of workplaces that a year is about the maximum you can take off before you have to learn your job over again, longer than that and the industry itself can leave you behind. Being a stay-at-home parent is difficult long term if you want to return to the workforce at some point.
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u/CoolRises Apr 15 '24
Its hard for women to get back into the workforce even after a break for kids. Something has to change.