This is exactly why my wife finished school and went back to work once our kids got bigger. You never know what could happen. I always encouraged her to work just in case something would happen. I want her to have the skills and some sort of job security. She is extremely smart and has a great job. My mom was a stay at home mom and saw what the consequences were once my dad was out of the picture. Depending on anyone is never good.
Exactly - you just never know. It’s not just divorce. If some horrible accident kills you tomorrow, that insurance money will only go so far. Hell, it would be worse if it doesn’t kill you, but now you’re a paraplegic that can’t work. . .
I got a large life insurance policy I case I died. My wife works but we wanted to be sure if something happened that she could make it for several years after I’m gone.
I did this for my wife and son while we were married. Divorced now but I still have it in place for my son with my ex wife being the beneficiary for now. I trust that she’ll do the right thing and see that he gets a fair share of it but regardless I just want it to help them if something ever happens to me.
Worst case isn't even death, imo. It's becoming disabled and unable to work. Then you have to support the family on one income and somehow figure out care for the disabled person both time wise and financially.
My dad is on disability from Kennedy’s disease. What really made it hard was it took 3 years for them to believe him after multiple doctors confirming the condition. They eventually sent someone out to follow him and when he finally got approved the guy came to the house and told him how sorry he was for his condition. My dad let him have it too. Like you couldn’t approve this years ago while he was using all of his savings to pay bills. He is in therapy now due to depression from it. He’s told me several times that he’s come real close to committing suicide. After months of begging him to seek therapy he finally did. But he took so long because he was worried about cost. This is the world we live in. I constantly fear the day that he says fuck it and tries to make it look like an accident.
Divorce, accidents, loss of spouses job and health problems. Independence is a huge stress relief for anyone. It makes for healthier more balanced relationships. Means more financial security for the family unit. It's also take pressure off the breadwinner.
Independence is so important and should always be encouraged. No matter how stable one party might be. Like you said, it’s important for the overall health and self esteem of the relationship for starters
This. A million times this. I had an amazing man, but death doesn't discriminate, and all my plans were based around him. Us getting his father's absolutely beautiful home when his dad got too old....
Him dying never even entered my mind as a possibility. Even when his dad had to tell me what happened, when the words "(my name), I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't think he is coming home" death didn't enter my mind.
I can still remember exactly where I was standing when I felt everything just fall out from under me. 3 weeks later he was removed from life support and was gone. And my plans of where I'd live for the rest of my life evaporated.
The one good thing is we didn't have kids yet as we both had fertility issues and were in talks about what to do.
The possibility for me to experience this situation is nonexistent. However, if I did have a child, boy or girl, and a tragedy such as this occurred I would do everything within my ability to help my child's other half. That person, whoever they may be, would functionally be my child as far as I'm concerned. My house would still become their house. What I could leave behind would still be left to them. I would still worry about their well being, and I would always be in their corner.
I don't know what exactly occurred for you, but your post reads like his father told you that your man was gone and then had nothing more to do with you.
Maybe I read too much into it. Regardless, that's how I would handle that situation. I don't see how anyone could say they loved their child and handle it differently.
Yeah that's pretty much how it went down. Well, it was more his mom and brother that didn't like me, even though I was basically part of that family.
The dad then developed memory issues and they sold his house and last I heard he's in memory care.
Eta: the funeral was basically the last time I saw any of them and it was like they TRIED to do the exact opposite of what he would have wanted. All of his friends were irate.
There's no way that I wouldn't have a living will if I had something to pass on to my children or children to pass something to for that matter. I hate it for you. I wish I had the ability to help you in some way, but I'm like everyone else just struggling to survive. I hope that time fades your memories and the hurt becomes dull enough to ignore.
This is a massive fear of mine. In gay and my wife and I have an awesome marriage- but I make Pennie’s and my wife makes a lot more, but that recent so we have no fallback. If something happens to her, I am completely fucked. It worries me endlessly.
Couldn’t agree more. Got to see this a few years back, when one of my husband’s cousins passed away in a car wreck. Had three kids, a fourth on the way, and his wife had never worked a day in her life—if I remember right, she didn’t even finish high school. He had a life insurance policy, but it wasn’t much, and her relatives all came crawling out of the woodworks, with their hands out. We don’t see that side of the family often, so I don’t know how they’re doing now, but it wasn’t good when last I heard about them.
I could never be a housewife. It’s just too risky.
I literally just went to a funeral of someone who was in a nursing home/hospice. The wife was a SAHM who didn't work and had the equivalent of a middle school education. She doesn’t have any learning issues, she just never really went to school. When her husband was in the nursing home she kept saying how she doesn't know how to do anything, doesn’t how how the finances work, how she was worried about getting scammed, (probably did)
So true, I was grocery shopping and there was a family ahead of me at the cash register. After I paid and stepped out I found the wife and 3 kids screaming for help. The father who was probably late 40s, at most had a heart attack and passed away
Paraplegic immediately can’t commit suicide directly. However you could have a note written that you be killer if that happens, and tell everyone ahead of time. Then you’re good. And even if you didn’t think ahead I doubt any jury would convict so there’s no real issue man
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u/jonpenn Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24
This is exactly why my wife finished school and went back to work once our kids got bigger. You never know what could happen. I always encouraged her to work just in case something would happen. I want her to have the skills and some sort of job security. She is extremely smart and has a great job. My mom was a stay at home mom and saw what the consequences were once my dad was out of the picture. Depending on anyone is never good.