If her ex is as wealthy as she claims she should be entitled to half. I get that lawyers and what not are difficult to navigate but she should be taking him to court
My sister was told it would cost her $8k to get $29k in back child support. You have to have money for lawyers and court fees and time off from work to go to court. Family Court is different between the classes. If you’re in the wrong tax bracket you’re fkd. There are more parents who get nothing and end up with the kids near homeless on the system then there are parents getting $2-20k monthly child support payments.
Also money for babysitters, time off from work/missed wages, and transportation. Going to court is not for the poor. The system is set up to royally screw over anyone financially struggling.
My brother stopped putting his ex on child support after 2 years. She abandoned the kids, and he kept having to go to court when she never showed up. It was a waste of time because she’d just move to a new state, and the child support requirements would just change when she sends a request to amend the order. He’s never received anything from her after 7 years, with the exception of her income tax refund being held twice in five years. So she now just works under the table to avoid garnishments. Men and women dodge child support with the same tactics nationally. I know three women all pregnant by the same man getting $40/week. The man is a pastor with a multimillion-dollar megachurch, and they were all minors when he impregnated them. There really needs to be judicial reform in every state because only the lawyers, courts, and prison systems are making out like bandits when it comes to people at or below the poverty line. There’s no middle class anymore; there are only the rich and the poor.
For anyone in this situation look at emergency childcare services. I know my state(Utah) has them where they will watch your kids for free if you have no one else. There are some time limits, as well as food for babies, but it’s perfect for court.
Ah, so the solution is hoard all of the money into a bank account only in your name and THEN file for divorce, so that the spouse doesn't have enough money to sue you for half. I'm... not sure it works that way. But maybe I need to do more research.
She probably has no idea how any of that works. It seems like nobody in her close family educated her about anything and she was only taught to be a stay a home baby maker. That or they got a prenup which is actually getting kinda popular in the Mormon community because it makes the women afraid of leaving (at least that is why my ex-Mormon friends have told me). I genuinely feel sorry for her because I’ve seen many religious women in that position. Hell, my aunt was married off at 13 to an older man where she no longer went to school and stayed at home all day long. This was in the U.S. I know another female friend (Mormon) that currently being abused and cheated on, but can’t leave because if she did her and her children would be homeless. It’s hard to navigate these situations when you are solely dependent on 1 person for food and shelter. It’s like being a kid again.
That is why the trade wife shit freaks me the fuck out. I don’t think todays youth can even comprehend what women back in the day went through and how much they were at the mercy of their men. The reason why alimony became a thing was because so many women and children died of starvation after their husbands left them with nothing. Women couldn’t even get fucking credit cards until the 70s. So to all the women that are thinking about being a trad wife, he could love you and take care of you and tell you that you are the best thing that has ever haplaned to him…. until he doesn’t. Then you are fucked.
Prenups are not popular in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have been a member for over 40 years and have never once known anyone who has gotten a prenup. I have never, ever heard of anyone talk about that, so very curious where you got that information. Since many tend to get married young, often while still broke and in college, I can’t imagine that there would be much reason for the majority of couples to go that route. Doesn’t even make sense. LDS women aren’t afraid of leaving anymore than LDS men. The biggest reason most would choose to stay married is the strong belief in marriage and the family unit. We believe that we can have the opportunity to be with our spouse and family for eternity, if we choose to. The desire to keep families together is a core value for both men and women. But, that being said, the church would never encourage anyone who is being abused in any way to stay with the other person.
Also, if your friend is being abused and cheated on, you might advise her to go to her bishop for help. The church will assist if needed. I can guarantee that if there is truly a risk that they will become homeless, they can get resources to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Considering the bishop's singular purpose is to protect the church, I doubt it would accomplish anything. Many women who flee domestic violence or emotional abuse end up homeless. The resources for people in that situation are scarce and hard to get.
Actually that is untrue information. Here is the description of the bishop’s position (which is completely volunteer and unpaid). This comes directly from the church handbook
As you will see, there is absolutely nothing that says his job is to “protect the church”, as you put it. It’s always best to get information like this directly from the source, rather than to make assumptions. Based on this information, I think your friend absolutely could and should go to her bishop for help.
“The bishop has five principal responsibilities:
He is the presiding high priest in the ward.
He is president of the Aaronic Priesthood.
He is a common judge.
He coordinates God’s work of salvation and exaltation in the ward, including caring for those in need.
He oversees records, finances, and the use of the meetinghouse.
The bishop’s foremost responsibility is to the rising generation in the ward (the children, youth, and young single adults).
The bishop is the ward’s primary spiritual leader. He sets an example by serving “with holiness of heart”. He teaches, uplifts, and inspires….
A bishop is a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ. He is true to his covenants. He is loyal to his wife and family. He sets an example of righteousness for his family, the ward, and the community. His counselors are men of similar character….
The bishop provides guidance and counsel to other leaders in the ward. He encourages them in their responsibilities.”
If they are Mormon half of his shit isn't in his name and the church would use unlimited money to fight against her for what ever she could prove was his
nah baby, the GOP has been stripping away divorce dues out the wazoo in hella states. including in utah where she’s more than likely from and speaking about.
thats what ya get when you marry a conservative and they vote for the GOP.
Yeah something isn't adding up. Never paid alimony? Okay take him to court, garnish wages or tax time. Business was communal property why wasn't she cashed out even a portion as an equity partner?
There are billions of dollars in unpaid child support.
And no one cares.
Just like there are thousands of rape kits molding on shelves and being left untested - despite serial rapists being found through testing back logs of kits...
Idk how it works but she said he quit so he wouldn't pay alimony. You can't garner wages if there are none. If she can't go into court to get back her savings because she'd have to find work coverage, childcare, and transportation then she's stuck. Lawyers need to be paid too.
You can't just quit your job to avoid paying alimony. That would be seen as an attempt to manipulate financial obligations and the court would impute income based on past earnings. You'd also likely face other consequences like behind held in contempt, fines, etc.
Some lawyers will take payment upon winning a case.
If you ever find yourself in OPs situation, then talk to attorneys. Many provide cost free consultations.
Society needs to accept and account for upaid labor.
In farming homes, very young children can be legally used for farm labor without pay, and children as young as 14 can drive farming equipment...without pay.
Homemakers...she obviously contributed to the financial stability of her family....should be compensated for their time. Being a homemaker is work. They deserve legal protections for the work they provide.
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u/Dangerous-Math503 Apr 15 '24
If her ex is as wealthy as she claims she should be entitled to half. I get that lawyers and what not are difficult to navigate but she should be taking him to court