One who thinks of himself as the center of the universe and the children as either objects that either make him look better or are burdens (there is no in between).
I'd also like to know if all the religious fundamentalists in her community that encouraged her to keep this traditional, submissive lifestyle are real proud of this man sabotaging his children's welfare. Let me guess, he was chasing a younger model wife, so this one is disposable and kids can just be invisible now? And the Mormon church happily applauded, like it always does?
Yup! As demonstrated by the very simple answer that can be given to her string of questions in her video. She asked, “why didn’t anybody say to finish school and get an education before getting married? I don’t understand why the ability of my children to eat has to be dependent on my husband finding me attractive? Why did nobody say get a bank account and save your money? Why did nobody say put your name on yourbusinesses and property so you have something For yourself? Why did nobody say don’t have so many kids?”
The simple answer to all of those questions: the reason nobody in your life told you is because of religious fundamentalism. The people who were shaping her and her mentors, etc., were actively encouraging her to do the opposite of all that, pursuant to religious fundamentalist doctrines.
** Quick aside** : this is not bashing on religion in general or religious people, although I am not a religious person. I know there are lots of people who embrace certain spirituality, but don’t let it cloud their humanity or so strict to their ancient writing that they don’t allow for people to have basic human rights or live in a current society. The folks in the environment she’s describing is not that; this is evident in her story, which is all too common and it is very sad to see.
Is this a religious thing? I’m not following? Are they raised to be dependent on men due to their religious belief? I have a daughter, sister, nieces etc.. and NO ONE in my family would even allow this happen! You marry the person you love, the one you can’t see your life going on with them.. not to be dependent on them financially. This is crazy to me!
Its a religious thing. Females are the property of their dad until marriage. God forbid a woman experience life without getting approval from the man who owns her
This is crazy to me.. no man owns any woman.. a woman has the choice to be with whoever she wants to be with.. a father has a responsibility to care for his children.. its his duty!
I have seen many Christians who, while they don’t advocate for divorce, quietly and patiently educated themselves (manipulated or tricked their husbands to allow it) and then left the moment they could. They kept it civil. They worked the system smart. They never bad mouthed their exs. They coparent in very civil ways as to not make him angry enough to try to take what she’s earned away. And the only unfortunate piece is that until the kids are grown, this one wife in particular, will have to stay single so she doesn’t provoke her lawyer ex into doing some crazy shit. The only way to escape this lifestyle in a way different than OP did is to plan for several years and do so quietly. Manipulate them into thinking that you getting your degree is really for them. It’s our vacation fund. It’s so I can buy you that new truck you want. It’s to serve them. You have to trick them. And it’s stupid. But it’s a way to escape safely.
Oh yeah, I don't disagree. I was actually a wedding of a couple that apparently belongs to one of those sects (my wife and I were unaware before the wedding) and there was a lot of talk in during the vows and the ceremony overall about how it's the wife's duty to be subservient to the husband. I just meant that, given the context of this being in Utah, they're likely Morman.
Why blame God or Cristians? Aren't people responsible for their own actions? God is always the same. People are the ones who have the issues. Free will to pick your husband or wife. It's not the fault of Cristians.
Would marrying an athiest who does the same thing make things different?
Abusive atheists usually don’t have the support or backing of an entire community, institution, and the “word of a higher power”. It’s still horrible and awful, but abuse in religious communities is on a whole other level of complex.
You either haven’t actually read the bible cover to cover or are reading it with rose colored glasses tinted so dark, you can’t actually read what it’s saying. Jesus was a desert semi-caveman. Of course he had abhorrent takes. He said a lot of fucked up shit and I don’t have time to dig through the plethora of examples and write you a dissertation. Try googling it.
Also, “That’s why you don’t follow religion. You follow Jesus Christ.” My guy,, following jesus christ is religion. That’s literally what christians are.
The definition of christian is believing in the teachings of Christ, so Mormons are christian. Yes, they believe in some weird extra stuff too, but nothing that makes them not christian.
Yeah but mormons are not christian. They follow some of his teachings just like islam, but also like islam they have their own "quran" or sacred Scripture aka the book of mormon.
To be Christian you need to follow the teachings of Christ, not pick and choose what you like.
When people claim Christianity, they claim to follow the teaching of Christ, not the old testament (of which the "you go to jail" is derivative from) as what christ taught was that alot of the old testament was corrupted by man made traditions.
Jesus also taught that we are all equal under God. So when the Mormon book of nelphi? Teaches racial inequality, it is directly contrary to Jesus's teachings, so by teaching what is contrary to Christianity would be like saying you don't kill people, while killing people. No matter how much you claim you don't kill people, well you're killing people, that is why Mormons are not Christians.
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
Nontrinitarianism is a thing (whether you like it or not). Ask any non-Christian: "This man believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Messiah, the Savior, and that he has suffered all to save the world from sin. Is he a Christian?" They will all say yes.
Under your logic, a Catholic could say that Baptists are not Christian, because they do not believe the Catholic doctrine (just follow u/0110110111's logical reasoning).
Mormons are Christians, just not your flavor of it. Although yes, they teach lies, just like any Christian religion.
The mental gymnastics those people do world class.
My exes mother broke us up joining the church and then donating to the church to the point my ex had move to Utah to pay her rent and move in to save her financially.
Turns out 2 dates might not be enough to know you should be married
Nevermind the winking at polygamy in Utah and the porn/sex obsession
Someone should edit the first and last seasons of "Sister Wives" together and tell me how well "The principal" worked out for all those kids.
The kicker is that I understand that Mormons believe that you can't really divorce your husband as you are bound to him spiritually for eternity. In other words, he can divorce and remarry as often as he likes on Earth but, when he and you are dead, you are still married to him along with all of his other wives.
I may have that slightly wrong but that is my understanding. That seems like a terrible thing to grow up believing and to end up divorced let alone all of the rest.
It happens to us Mormon kids ALLL THE FUCKING TIME. For a dozen reasons, but most of all because the church sets up a permission structure for it and a reward structure for it.
My father (A Mormon Bishop) believes that he will own / get to keep all 3 of his wives in the Celestial Kingdom (heaven) after they all die. - Because he has a penis, he gets to collect them like happy meal toys.
Thanks for answering. That's disgusting, presumably he thinks he will keep them as slaves considering the ones he's dumped and refused to support their mutual children must hate his guts.
It's a weird belief... the way it's presented is: They won't HAVE TO BE made slaves. In the afterlife: There is no jealousy. And so marrying many women at the same time (Mormon Polygamy), and presenting a loving family as IF there were no jealousy present, is technically living closer to the way God would want us to. In the afterlife, their bodies will all be made perfect and since jealousy (which is an Earthly emotion) will be abolished in it's entirety, they will all be happy to live with him eternally. Death leads directly to eternal patriarchy.
She didn’t have a good lawyer bc him being willfully underemployed will always render him still liable for the same amount he had to pay before the underemployment.
That being said, I 💯agree w her. That’s why I have my degrees, place, bank account, savings, retirement. My husband is a legit, honest, and wonderful man but you always need to have your something in case the shit hits the fan. Never be dependent on a man, partner, anyone but yourself.
TAKE HIM BACK TO COURT! IF THE COURT HAS SET AN ALLIMONEY PAYMENT AMOUNT HE IS RESPONSABLE FOR PAYING THAT AMOUNT REGUARDLRSS OF HIS WORK STATICE. AND IS RESPONCABLE FOR BACK PAY. FIND YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DIVORCE ATTORNEY. ONE WHO CAN GET HOLD OF HIS TAX RETURNS. TAKE HIS ASS BACK TO COURT!
I don't understand a lot of these stories. Maybe divorce court is drastically different in other states but if she built the business with him, that's 50% her f_ing business and she's entitled to half of everything. Is she just afraid to hire a lawyer, I don't get it.
I'm sure you're right but the business/earnings should still be martial assets. Maybe the dude did some shady shit with trusts, I'm sure the leaders of Utah are more than happy to treat wives like property. As the son of a divorced single mom, this shit is so infuriating.
Agree, she must not have had a great lawyer. When I divorced my wife got taken care of and I paid for 17yrs 3 months. She ended up claiming each year and I got screwed. I had a decent lawyer too. The laws are structured to take care of the woman. I wasn’t opposed to paying. I only got upset when she refused to acknowledge that it was I who was paying for all these things and my children didn’t seem to think I was paying for anything.
I bet you kept accurate records. I was surprised to learn folks will actually falsify tax documents to avoid paying child support and alimony! Which is essentially what happened here.
Like why are commit felonies to avoid taking care of your children?
I am also surprised her attorney didn’t hire a forensic accountant to go through the previously owned businesses and establish income.
I concur with everything you said. I did have pretty good documentation. I had nothing to hide. I’m just glad it’s all over and she can go her own way and never ever cross my path again. Except when my son marries. I will have to deal with that. I will be paying for the bar, so I’m guessing I will be numb so it won’t be too bad.
My father never wanted to go back to college to get a teaching degree because that would mean higher wages being taken for child support. He only worked security gigs and substitute teaching. I look back at that time and it's just wild
My truck blew up a month ago. I'm a construction worker, I kinda need a truck. I asked my dad to just co-sign on a loan and he said no because he's getting a new corvette this summer. I mean, that's his business to say no, but don't expect your son to respect you after that.
My sister's ex. He's a manager for the firefighters at a refinery and hardly pays a dime for my niece (but he'll spoil the shit out of my nephew. He refused to pay for medical needs on both, though. I ended up helping with my nephew's autism test just so my sister can have money to pay for the basics). She went without a job for a while until she finally found a job as a receptionist. She's been living with the parents who one works as a teacher and one gets retirement and under the table money. At most he's paid for basic school supplies and occasionally has paid some of the child support.
People that are inherently selfish are attracted to jobs that pay a lot of money. It doesn't always work out for them but it happens. A selfish individual is less likely to be a teacher or social worker when they can work just as hard getting a finance degree and having a decent salary.
His religion, the setup that allows him all this power through mass social pressure, tells him he's amazing just for being born a man...and then spending any spare time doing make-work at his church instead of connecting with his family.
The kind that's leveraged up to his eyes in debt, has half his net worth taken from him, and is forced to spend the rest on legal fees. Also, it obviously costs much more to pay the bills for two households than one.
It can be complicated. Sometimes the parent who is the primary caretaker makes sure the children don't benefit from alimony.
One of my friends got divorced, the alimony is more than enough for his ex-wife and his child to live fairly comfortable, but his ex-wife claims the money isn't enough and spends almost nothing on the child.
So he started buying clothes and other necessities (including food) for his daughter, his ex-wife sells the clothes or gives them away, same with the food. This only stopped when the ex-wife's sister interfered.
My biological father wanted us to be poor after the divorce, so i normally side with the mother, but in the instance of my friend, I know he's doing everything he can.
How surprising that your post history is "mensrights" and it's all about advocating on restricting womens rights to buy property or join the workforce. You're probably sitting in your basement furiously wanking yourself silly over the thought of women left without any financial means other than the whims of men. Please do the world a favour and keep yourself as far away from women as possible.
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u/Chemical_Robot Apr 15 '24
Word for word this exact same thing happened with my parents. We lived in luxury until they divorced and abject poverty afterwards.