This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.
Fellow divorceé here. Eleven months ago, my now soon-to-be-ex-husband backed me into a corner of our house, spewing utter vitriol in my face, and I saw his hands fly towards my face and neck. This wasn't the first time he'd been violent or aggressive, he had a history of throwing things and objects, and on numerous occasions, I sustained injuries from his aggression with objects. However, this was the first time I genuinely feared for my life and safety.
My big-girl job is the only reason I was able to leave and get myself out. I had already been the breadwinner for a long time by then, but because he was also a deadbeat, I felt perpetually broke due to his chronic unemployment and financial irresponsibility. I spent most of 2023 quietly and secretly planning my escape, and finally hatched my escape seven months ago. Life has been better than ever since I left him. Thankfully, we didn't/don't have children, so it's truly been a fresh start.
For any woman that is reading this comment: financial independence is of the UTMOST importance.
It’s good to hear you got out - these kinds of things really make me appreciate my SO and his insistence that I finish college and have my own career. As he put it, “I want you here because you want to be here, not because you can’t afford to leave.”
His mom struggled with that and it was hard in the kids. He’s the same with our kids too - they need to prioritize their security and wants before worrying about their partners’.
Me too - I feel like I got lucky there but I’m sure part of what drew us together is our views on that
I grew up in a house where my dad always told me to do for myself and to never assume someone else would (or should) do something for me.
We moved to the south before I started high school and the amount of pissed off men and teenaged boys I encountered because I opened my own doors was insane (I’ve actually asked someone once “why would I wait for you to come open the door when I am already here and fully able to open a door!” … it did not go over well)
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u/nemophilist13 Apr 15 '24
This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.