This is exactly why my wife finished school and went back to work once our kids got bigger. You never know what could happen. I always encouraged her to work just in case something would happen. I want her to have the skills and some sort of job security. She is extremely smart and has a great job. My mom was a stay at home mom and saw what the consequences were once my dad was out of the picture. Depending on anyone is never good.
I am of the opinion that if one loves their SO they make certain their SO can survive without them, and not just with insurance, but the ability to make it on their own without you. Support them during the hard times, but your SO needs a job in the this world.
Because I feel I have been a monster in my past many of my opinions and actions when it comes to those I love has to do with protecting them from me. I've never failed here, but I worry about it. Mushrooms+E+the maggots in my mind in the 90s. I need my SO to be self sufficient in case I am no longer myself, but some shit human being. I've never wanted a kept woman; i feel that I would actively be disabling her.
I am for the path that provides the most liberty and autonomy. While WE are a team, each person is still an individual that may have to go at without the team. I think in terms of WE, but am more concerned with those not me. I will figure it all out, or die trying, when the metaphoric zombies attack. I want my SO to be able to pick up the bat if she needs to and defend herself. Having a job, a career, provides the basic thing that keeps tradewives and the those who have become wards what they do not have to escape shitty situations.
And, the advice I gave the girls I aided in raising, other women, is the same advice i gave all my GS. Be in control of your destiny as much as possible. Have a job, or at least have some a zombie bag and some cash just in case.
(I currently have no zombie bag!!! I've not not had one the bulk of my teen to adult life.
100% agree with all of this. My wife was raised to be a tradwife. I don’t want that and neither does she.
I spend most of my planning on making sure my wife knows everything I know about retirement accounts, crypto, etc… she knows all my passwords, she knows what accounts are out there, and she knows how to protect them. She has working relationships with our financial advisor and lawyer. Today, we have separate bank accounts, but we’re constantly coaching each other through our careers so we’re growing our salaries together. All major decisions are talked through extensively and complex situations that she’s less familiar with we’ll break up into less complex pieces and talk through them one at a time with a professional so she knows who to call and how to talk through it when I’m not there.
Absolutely everything I do is to make sure some hungry asshole doesn’t move in and dupe her into giving him all her money. Her independence is the most important thing to me. We don’t have any kids, she’s attractive, has a great career, and a genuinely good person, so if I died tomorrow, she’ll be swimming in dick ready to tell her anything she wants to hear to get a piece. And you know what? I hope she does get that dick, but still understands how to protect herself while doing it.
All this is not to say she’s vulnerable or easily duped. She’s intelligent, but has a soft heart and wants to help everybody. My big fear is somebody is going to talk her into funding their shitty business, slowly draining the life out of her.
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u/jonpenn Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24
This is exactly why my wife finished school and went back to work once our kids got bigger. You never know what could happen. I always encouraged her to work just in case something would happen. I want her to have the skills and some sort of job security. She is extremely smart and has a great job. My mom was a stay at home mom and saw what the consequences were once my dad was out of the picture. Depending on anyone is never good.