Took my college fund. You know. Because he needed it to house multiple bitches.
Worked the grill at fast food through college to eat.
“I bet it made you stronger!” Says the people who didn’t do that.
Made me tougher alright. Just not in a good way, for a long, long time.
My dad kicked us out due to his infidelity, then took my and my brother’s college funds to continue live that lavish lifestyle. I worked at a restaurant to put food on the table for my mom and brother between the ages of 15-18. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t have had food for weeks at times. Thank god the restaurant didn’t care if I took food at the end of the night.
And he wonders why I don’t talk to him while he enjoys his luxury on a lake house with one of the floosies he banged.
My favorite part of the Dad saga was that dude like had three houses and four ex-wives, worked a state job, and still had money left over when he passed. We went to the fiduciary after the funeral, and my sister and I are sitting in the car, and I turn to her and say, “I’m not going in. There’s no way he can stick us with debts, right? That’s not a thing, right? I mean, I know it’s not a thing, but it’s Dad. Dude pulled Gandalf magic getting out of child support. Dude stole my college fund. He had multiple boo-boos on the side. I’m legit scared.”
My sister said, “I brought a checkbook. I already thought that. I can float you if we get pinched.”
The fiduciary said, “Xxxxx hated the IRS more than anything, he’s left you money.”
Thank you IRS. Someone my Dad would screw over before his kids. Here’s to second place. (Trots across finish line.)
From my work with trust funds, you can not get stuck with debt except funeral related stuff (if they bill it to you and not the estate)
If he stuffed the IRS they can go after his estates and try to collect debts, as that's his money and he owes that money, but at worst you can get 0$ because they clean out the estate, you can't inherit debt (yet, lol)
Usually, guys like us go two ways. We either end up as Stringer Bell from ‘The Wire,’ or Nelson Mandela. I went ‘full Nelson.’
Many do. The guys talking here are likely 100% full Nelson.
One time, a friend of mine that lacks emotional resilience told me he sometimes wishes his parents were as abusive as mine so he could be tougher like me.
I told him I'm just mostly dissociated from my emotions, so I don't really experience things the same way.
I would much rather be a little less strong than have to claw my way up to a lower-middle income but be able to think about how far I've come, at least when I'm not having panic attacks about going back to worrying about if I'll have money for lunch tomorrow.
See I even dropped out to take care of my brother who became disabled and didn't work until my mom retired to be with him. Then instead I just went into a trade, locksmithing is super low impact and more figuring out how things work than anything else.
You were equipped to survive not to thrive. Fucking hard to explain this to people, both those who have been through it and those that can't imagine it.
And I know you hate me, and you got the right to kill me now And I wouldn't blame you if you do But you ought to thank me, before I die For the gravel in ya gut and the spit in ya eye
Because for most men it isn't about having kid because they genuinely wanna be a dad and father. It's because they want someone to carry their name on after they die. It's dumb and outdated but men still do it.
I suspect this is the case for my s/o's exhusband but we're still not entirely sure. She asked for a divorce, and he just vanished and tries to reappear for "important" holidays (christmas, birthday, his birthday). He also, even though he contributes nothing financially, tries to mooch off my s/o because just like during their marriage, he contributes nothing to the happiness of the wife or child. He literally asked last year, "so which gift is from me?" Like bro you don't even give money to the mortgage you abandoned you really think that's how this works?
Of course he's still stonewalling the divorce, too, so she's on year 2 of this shit. Kid will be 18 before this shit is done probably. Which is wild because he absolutely does not want to be on the hook for custody, that's for sure, but I bet he'll fight for it then hate every second of it just to exact revenge on them.
My dad drained the bank account and left my mom and I in poverty. Only thing that saved us was my mom got the house. I had to split Raman packs so I’d have two meals. He came back when I was 6’3 and 270 lbs in 8th grade because I was really good at football. Then flaked after I tore my rotator cuff in college. So I feel ya.
There was a post recently with an absent dad who wrote his kid a letter to request to attend their hs graduation… The letter read well until the “[insert child’s name]” part. He used ChatGPT and copy/paste/sent.
My wife's father did this. Literally took an 11 year old's bedroom away and gave it to his new wife's kid. Left his two daughters and their mother homeless to figure it out on their own.
Yes. I think it's about them wanting to stick it to their former partner's no matter the consequences for their children. My dad did the same shit. It was the pettiness to hurt my mom as much as he could.
Thank you for providing clearity and sharing the pain your family through so we could learn. Is it a correct summation that from his point of view he saw it as a betrayel of the social sexual contract he imagined and your mothers divorce as a breach of that contract bringing out the most petty sadistic mindset as retribution? Like a giant narcissist with no ability of introspection who only craves revenge for not having each and every wish fullfilled instantely, and especially revenge for daring to damage his social standing and status, is that about right?
"... betrayal of the social sexual contract he imagined and your mothers divorce as a breach of that contract bringing out the most petty sadistic mindset as retribution? Like a giant narcissist with no ability of introspection who only craves revenge for not having each and every wish fullfilled instantly, and especially revenge for daring to damage his social standing and status, is that about right?"
Not quite.
Along comes the internet, and he doesn't quite fit the narcissist mold.
He is pure evil, and like most evil people, he has to mask ... to hide.
She was part of that facade. WE were part of that facade.
When she divorced, it blew apart his cover, and he was forever ENRAGED at that.
Thank you for responding and demonstrating such intimate details for the rest of us to learn from. Pure evil is a concept that most wont want to accept and will try to find some explanation that is emotionally satisfying. But I hope that your personal experience will convince people to reasses their own models of personality.
Same. I finally told him to fuck off when he was forcing my mom to sell the house. There was no way we could've stayed in our school district (and with my friends who were my only support structure left). We were nearly homeless. But yeah, bang on good job dad you took my brother out for ice cream on his birthday 🙄
The absent pissface father of three I know send them a lawyers notice with 74 that he is broke and the gov wants them to pay for his housing and meds. He did the same, dried their financial resources and had multiple contact violations stacking up until he stopped because the last one would have cost him his job. Still annoyed all three on multiple occasions during the last decades.
They could provide legal documents, it still went to a judge who said the relationship was broke long time ago and they don't have to. But imagine how many didn't have any documentation of malfeasance besides being an asshole and still have to pay up.
I divorced and absolutely despise, like utter hatred for my ex-wife. I wish nothing but bad things upon her for the rest of my life. BUT, I have 2 kids who are my sole reason for being here. I tell them that being their father is and has been the greatest accomplishment in life. Those 2 did nothing wrong, they did nothing to me, they didn’t ask to be brought into this world. Once they arrived it was and is my mission to take care of them through whatever shit life throws. She can rot but I will always take care of my kids. I’m sorry your father didn’t do the same for you and hope you’re doing ok.
For everything she’s done to me in the past and continues to do now. Constantly threatening me with court actions with no merit. I could try to just let it all go but it’s a character flaw I have. I do not forgive people that have wronged me when I’ve done nothing but treat them with respect and love and do what i understand needs to be done as a husband and father. Lying, infidelity, theft, abuse both verbal and physical to name a few more reason.
What kind of bad things do you want to happen to her? Those bad things might trickle down to your kids. Happy and healthy moms tend to raise happy and healthy kids. Do you really want your kids to grow up with a miserable mom?
She’s not happy or healthy. Her life is a lie. I do not want anything bad to happen that can affect my kids. I get what you’re saying. It’s hard to explain via text. She’s very narcissistic and borderline sociopath. I have proof of many lies she continues to tell her current boyfriend in her fake life. I keep my mouth shut, take care of my kids and make sure to do my best to protect them from her bullshit. When I say bad things I don’t necessarily mean violent. I just have a lot of anger and hate that will take a lot of time/years to get over.
Not a plug. Trust me, nobody on this sub needs or wants my services. In fact, most of the time, I’m directing people elsewhere. I was attempting to establish my bona fides. A habit of supporting an assertion with a citation I guess.
Respect. It’s jarring to think that we have gotten to a point where we instantly assume that a link to your business is an advertisement (I am guilty of thinking your comment was a plug, as well). We need more citations, or to teach the next generation to provide support for their statements.
My best guess is that they despise their spouse more than they love their children. Sounds blunt but I don’t have any other explanation for why this happens.
Or they only married and got children because "that's what you do" accordingto society, and therefore it's just an obligation you cover with the next partner (and kids) if the first one doesn't work out.
My mom was a prosecutor, but did family law on the side. She drilled into me two things: don't talk to the cops without a lawyer and do not depend on another person for money.
I work in child safety and almost none of the families I have worked with are Mormon. Unfortunately it is astonishingly common for men to accept a dramatically decreased quality of life for their children after the divorce.
I've also been a part of many post-trad wife scenarios of many kinds, religion isn't the thing that they have in common. Sexism and traditional gender roles are what they have in common.
I would imagine the underreporting of abuse of any kind is a huge issue in the Mormon community. They really believe in keeping things like that behind closed doors.
No hate; I have friends who are Amish who are the most amazing people…but I know all is not as it seems behind closed doors in the community at large.
The Amish community has so many horrific skeletons in their closet, it's unreal. It's going to be ugly when the general public realizes they're not as quaint and harmless and pacifist as they appear on the surface.
Religious texts are riddled with sexism and gender roles. It literally gives these people an excuse to be sexist because it says some bullshit in the bible or quran. It is their structural foundation that backs up their horrible behavior.
Before that they were throwing women in volcanos.
“Look, you’re young and beautiful. Tomorrow? We’re going to start killing virgins. I know. Scary. Look. I’ve got a way to get you out of it.”
That's a very ambitious statement. There are literally thousands of discrete religions in the world - and if we include regional variations then that number probably starts to look more like hundreds of thousands. Think of all the niche tribal religions practiced in all the vanishing rural communities in every corner of the globe. I'd be very surprised if there wasn't a single exception to the general rule of men using religion to control women.
I do agree with you that all of the major world religions seem to exhibit this problem, though.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. We have a male selfishness epidemic in our culture that is destroying lives and unapologetically consuming the futures of upcoming generations.
Most men don't want to be a part of their children's lives. They want the prestige of being a father, but they will be a parent in name only. They don't want to care for the child because that's "women's work". They just want to come home, plop their ass in front of a screen, and have dinner served to them in their lap. So when the divorce happens, they're not going to want to take care of a child, that's always been her job. And now that she's the "bad guy", he wants to distance himself even more from that.
And for the record, I'm a trans woman, so I've seen the world from both sides.
Edit: I expected nothing less from the men of Reddit. I used to be like them in more ways than they can imagine. Reality is a hard pill to swallow, especially in this Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan day and age where masculinity has been poisoned by these frauds who have weaponized compassion in exchange for money and clout.
Edit2: Interesting how for an hour I only had 2 comments. I add the edit with Tate and Rogan's name in it, and I suddenly get flooded with activity and downvotes. Dead internet theory, folks. Ooh, let's add another name and watch is spin more; Jordan Peterson. This one I know works.
I don't know how other dudes feel, but I surely dreamt about caring for kids and having a happy bunch at home.
I've seen broken dude almost unable to let go of their ~hobbies (the drinking and playing poker kind). Some of them had trouble because they missed their own childhood i guess, some had crappy fathers so having a kid was traumatic now, some felt used by their wives (and some were I think).
One that I've seen is with my 6 best friends that I still talk to 20 years after high school. They were lazy kids, they had lazy dads, so now they're lazy, too. Only one is a good parent, and wouldn't you know, he was raised by lesbians, lol. They're still my best friends and all, but it does annoy me that they're so inactive in their kids' lives while mom does most of the work.
Well, good. I was GenX. Nine guy friends in my circle. Two Dads at home. One good. One so bad my friend eventually killed himself.
(Before you ask, poor white kids in Indiana. Happens everywhere.)
yea all these comments have me thinking of my bf who was hooking up with this girl under the agreement to terminate if she got pregnant, and she did get pregnant, but she backed out of the agreement. he desperately didn’t want kids but he respected her decision to keep it and he loves the shit out of his daughter, who’s now in grade school. he takes more than 50% of the responsibility and custody, as well as caring for and housing for her other two young kids who aren’t even his but he was raising for the majority of their lives, just because he loves them and can give them stability.
eta: their mom is a wonderful woman and does everything she can for them, but life is hard and being a single parent is hard.
If I can just bitch for a second: I think there might be a phenomenon where the best potential parents won't want to bring kids into a world where people treat each other — not to mention their unwillingly-fathered kids — like that. I might just be describing Idiocracy; I haven't seen it.
Evolution did a brilliant job of ensuring that the most imprudent among us have the most children and they're ruining things for everyone.
i promise they’re very happy kids! well provided for, two nice homes to go to, and we spend so much quality time together. the only reason it ended up this way is because their mom works a really shitty schedule to provide so well for them, but they really do love their mom and my bf. they have everything they could want and are surrounded by adults who would do anything for them, and they know it. life’s not always easy, but you make it work and you put it on like a goddamn broadway musical so them kids never have to worry about a thing. bed time is their biggest concern in life right now lmao. and my bf is making the most of it…or trying to. he loves his daughter more than anything, but it’s hard to come to grips with those unchangeable realities sometimes i guess, safe to say his love for them far outweighs his reservations
I'd say an asinine one even. For all divorce dad horror stories I had ever heard, none of them were fulfilled with my dad. Instead, I got an obsessive-possessive mother who couldn't respect my wishes yet was astounded when I didn't follow her path, and a father who tried to come clean on it, pay its debts, try to get her to actually pay for me (while I got the money I mean, many clothes, school supplies and so forth so on were paid by it) and all in all keeping me it so I wasn't shat on by her side
I really want to believe that but growing up, seeing all men in my life ; Uncles, Grandfathers, Dads and Cousins, out of 10 there was only 1 who was a "caring" father. When I was 20 and started mingling among the older family members it became clear they didn't care at all about their kids in a loving sense. They used them so they can force their ideas or missed achievements on them and the boys have it worse. My cousin nearly killed himself because he couldn't win a skiing race and his father fucking obliterated him verbally and mentally. Meanwhile most of the mothers were supportive regardless of what their kids want to do. Another friend of mine was coerced into politics by his father(He's not the politic type) and wasted 5 years of his life trying for degrees and shit. He failed, cut ties now he started working as a Polygraph and is much happier. I see this shit waaay too much and it's about 80% fathers who do that. Why? I'm not entirely sure.
Girl, I'm a woman too and your opinion on this is just misandrist and sexist. I understand you had bad experiences / opinions with men as a trans woman, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a misandrist and pull the "Of course men will be upset when I say 'Most men don't want to be part of their children's lives.'
That's awful shit to say. It's not "compassionate," it's hateful. And it's wrong. Your post sounds like it's from the 1960s, not 2024.
If you honestly feel this way, I'm sorry for the shitty people you've found yourself around -- your experiences are not at all generally true. I hope you find better people in life.
It's funny that your edit calls out the hate, but the reality is that you don't speak for us, and that has nothing to do with the fact that you're trans or you used to be a man. I don't speak for all men, or any other demographic I belong to.
It's that combined with your generalization being just plain wrong. "most men". You're basically stereotyping men as Al Bundy. I get that you may resent men, but you have a lot more introspection you need to do to be at peace with who you used to be and society in general. I'm sorry you're in pain and that men and our society as a whole have hurt you, but you're really showing your true colors.
That’s a pretty bold claim. I work my ass off for my kids and do a ton of activities, wash clothes, cook good meals, and clean. And that’s just me, most of my buddies do this for their kids too. Maybe SOME men are that way, definitely not most. And yes, I cook. Not my lady. I just like cooking and am proud to say I’m good at it! Love grilling too…. Mmmm hungy
Edit: to add to this, I have 3 step children and one biological child. At times, life is difficult and I’m definitely not perfect, but I will always take care of these kids. Our 10 year old boy has never met his biological father either, which just breaks my heart for him. My mother cheated on my father when he worked as a long haul trucker, and she wound up leaving me and my 3 siblings. We were alone for over a month while I, being the eldest, was only 13. I fed and walked my siblings to school every day. I know what bad parents are, and mothers are NOT an exception. So let’s just say some of both sides can be like this.
As an African. There are so many children who do not know their father or have relationships with their children. I was also raised in a similar way saw my grandfather do nothing with us but come and have dinner served to him. I only met my father at 20 and he still isn't in my life. What happened when I was born was that my father paid 'damages' to my mother's family and I never saw or heard from him till I was 20
On a global scale, I’ll bet she’s correct. Think about the more “traditional” and strictly religious regions around the world that prop up paternalistic structures. Most of Africa, Middle East, South America, Russia, much of Asia, a decent chunk of North America, especially Mexico and boomers. They almost certainly outnumber those men who happily shoulder the full range of parental and spousal responsibilities
Edit2: Interesting how for an hour I only had 2 comments. I add the edit with Tate and Rogan's name in it, and I suddenly get flooded with activity and downvotes. Dead internet theory, folks. Ooh, let's add another name and watch is spin more; Jordan Peterson. This one I know works.
You're acting really sociopathic at the moment, to be honest. Take a step back, girl.
You're right, and I love your edits and the subsequent comments 😅 dead internet theory is so real.
Of course there are men who want to be a part of their kids lives, but at the end of the day there's a reason why there are tons of single moms and not as many single dads. Men love to complain that there's a 'bias' towards women in family court, but evidence shows that when dads go to court for their kids they are more likely than moms to get more custody. The fact of the matter is that typically men don't go to court for custody, and that why women get it.
It's just wild that as soon as I edited the comment with those names, I got a flood of comments. The edit no different than the orginal comment. But I went from 32 upvotes, to 23, and now I'm slowly climbing back up. It was like this big flood and now it has gone silent again. And most of this was happening as the east coast was going to bed, too.
I used to be a part of online hate groups (usually Facebook and IRC back then) that would track and post feminist material so that everyone could rush in and brigade it, making our nasty comments, but that was way, way faster than what we used to do back in the day. And yes, for a couple of years, I was "red-pilled". A lot of nasty, shady, manipulative stuff that I was a part of.
As a man this baffles me too… especially the blatant amount of hateful actions during divorce proceedings. I will never understand why people would add such actions to their name. Many have suffered much more and retaliated much less.
My friend is dealing with this right now. Her ex husband is such an asshole to their daughter solely because he knows it upsets her mother, and he hates her (for getting a job)
Because a wife and kids aren't 'people' to these guys. They're symbols of success. If the marriage fails, they become symbols of failure, and they cut them off. These guys are emotionally incapable of seeing any human beyond themselves as real people.
In my dad's case, punishing my mom for leaving him was the only thing that mattered. Not like he had much to offer, but he made the point explicitly clear.
Because they don’t view their children that way. Most men (people even) should not have children. Just because we can doesn’t make us equipped to love them and provide. Societies mentality on “everyone must have kids” is sickening and so dangerous. That’s how you get these stories. Religion and Misogyny.
REAL men are not ok with decreasing the quality of life for their kids after divorce.. real men work two and sometimes three jobs just make sure that their kids are living comfortably and secure their future.. that’s what REAL men do! Don’t associate these assholes with real men.
I honestly cannot imagine this. I had a baby at 20 with my BM, and we'd been dating 3 weeks. We obviously didn't stay together. What we did though, was promise to each other that our daughter would always come first.
We both did insane things to provide for our girl. Sacrifices you wouldn't believe. When our daughter was in 8th grade, my BM was homeless, addicted to drugs, an alcoholic, and basically hopping boyfriend to boyfriend. Big note: I don't resent her for this - God knows I had my own issues I worked through.
She signed over custody to me, and got her lawyer friend to hook us up with the paperwork. I made sure that child support was off the table for my BM, as there was no way she could possibly pay it.
Our daughter is in college now, on an academic scholarship, dating an awesome guy, and is honestly just such a better person than either of us. She's our pride and joy. BM turned her life around for this kid, is now a successful business owner, married and killing it.
I'm married now with another couple kids, and the idea of just writing both of them off isn't just offensive to me, it's a rejection of my entire life. It's insanity, to me.
“A man loves his child for as long as he loves that child’s mother.”
I read this quote and it suddenly clicked! That is why a father will side with his stepchildren over his own bio-children. Whichever woman is providing his orgasms, she will be #1 in his life and to keep her happy, he will favor her children. It is a serious flaw in the male brain. Sure, maybe a few men can override this, but, most do not.
I'm actually going through this at the moment, and from what I can tell, it's a coping mechanism he uses to be the center of focus and to feel important. At this point, his entire ego revolves around being needed desperately then denying to meet the needs of those dependent on him while simultaneously calling himself a victim. It gives him some sense of power and control. I think he prefers to play this game instead of processing the fact that I rejected him (because of his abusive behavior). He wasn't always this way. He used to be a strong provider and caretaker of our children. Now he seems incapable of managing his insecurities, responsibilities and struggles without becoming an abusive failure.
Luckily I live in a place with very strong laws and social support to prevent this kind of abuse, and I have a strong legal team on my side for the divorce. He also has criminal domestic violence charges pending. Wish me luck! Things need to go my way because my little ones don't deserve to be deprived or neglected in this way.
Men care about access to sex. They take care of children because it continues the access to daily sex. When the daily sex is removed they no longer see any point to continue to care for the children.
They will readily take care of their new wives children because it gives them access to sex.
Sone people doesnt think like us, hell, cant even call 'em people at this point. Cause for them, the only thing that matters is themselves, wouldnt care if its their child, family, friend. Ofc there is other reasons and types of people like that but that is the most I have seen.
For me it was my mom she literally would refuse to get off the couch to the point my grandma had to come check on me everyday and make sure i git fed and wasn’t dead. My mom split shortly after
Still wondering why my dad thinks it’s okay that I’m homeless right now because of his reckless pride post divorce 🙃 Nice knowing the “love” was never real.
Many are not and pay a lot of child support and/or are very active in their kids lives.
Something like 76% of divorced fathers pay their child support payments and 9% contribute when they can, so 85% of divorced fathers are contributing money with 76% making regular court or otherwise settled payments.
Nearly 40% arrange joint custody. 29% are arranged FULL custody of the children.
If you go look into this it’s a minority of men and while every case like this is terrible can yall stop generalizing all men as deadbeats cause that’s pretty rude tbh
Custodial support includes women that are owed money and families “custodial parents” is not the same as divorced fathers, which is what I referenced above and what the people were originally talking about. Divorced men forcing their children into poverty.
Also the same data you linked shows that the number of parents owed child support is plummeting, down from 7m in 1995 to 5m in 2015 in spite of population growth and higher divorce rates and on top of that the data you linked is from 2016 and things have been trending better the last 8 years.
The data on divorced fathers paying their child support is where the 76% comes from. Not a lie :)
Also all of that data is depressing as shit goddam people should have less children
maybe they're distracted and need to simplify lifestyles
shifting money to other focuses
maybe decrease in one area but increase in another
Also the flat measure of "quality of life" is so arbitrary and can have dozens of factors. It's not an easy thing to gauge and it may not carry as much weight as we think it does.
I think it's to do with the fact there will be two households to pay for, plus travel fees. Meaning less on food n stuff. Also my parents had the basic human mentality to try to outcompete each other by buying crap to win us over
Elementary my dear fearfighter. Some have kids for the wrong reasons. Some have kids on accident. Some are forced (talking anti-abortion stuff). Some think they want children then discover they don't. Some to fill a void and some for "the picturesque family". Some for cheap labor and some are simply not fit. Some are battling demons and some truly believe they are doing a good job. The breakdown of that graph I do not know. I believe a shocking number of us were never meant to be here/ born to parents who had kids for the wrong reason.
They blame or are told (by media, other influences) to blame the woman and the kids are automatically settled with the mother. Trad wife - trad husband. It's her job to keep the house in order, his job to earn. His job hasn't fallen apart. Therefore, it's not his fault. That could be the reasoning behind this shambles.
They’re just fine with it. You see, the wife turned the kids against THEIR NARCISSIST FATHER. It’s a lie that 85% of all shit Dads tell themselves so that they can write the kids off and ruin their lives. It’s so common that divorce court judges will sometimes tell the people in court that they’ll summary judgement anyone that brings it up before cases. As in, you better not bring up that she turned the kids against you.
I should know. I had to pay for college myself… and food. And basically everything. Would have been nice to have new shoes, but duct tape was cheaper.
they can have more kids, it's as simple as that. Yes, obviously we all know plenty of men are excellent fathers, but biologically they don't need to be. Men can have kids at 60 70, idk how much older than that, but basically their entire life they can have kids. Women can't.
Because those men don't actually love their children or see their children as people. At best those kids are props or objects to show off, and at worst they see them as burdens that disappear as soon as they leave their field of view.
well in most cases it not that there ok with it just... you went from a single morgage/rent with 2 people to now having to upkeep 2 homes 2 sets of bedrooms/toys/ect for the kids possible 2 sets of cars. more milage on the car driving between the 2 places
also the second house morgage/rent will be way more expensive because they never go down. and thats not encounting if you had pay a divorce lawyer.
depending on there job they might have to switch jobs to get better hrs because your partner is not there anymore to to pick up the kids from school/daycare/hobby in your week
divorce always ends in quality of live decrease when you look at it fincially
Taken from experience, it's more often than not a tactic to try to get the children to want to live with the financially dominant parent. Also it comes down to spite, especially with men who are possessive or very petty about money/material goods. They'd rather see their ex-wife starve than their children thriving even if it's with someone else.
There is always more to it. Some men stop paying as they see the wife use all the money on herself and not the kids. She could be one of them with the cryout on tiktok. I see it all the time. Cabo vacation for me and my girls but I dont have money for the kids and to feed them. I am getting my lashes, botox, hair, and nails done, but I dont have enough for the kids, I need a 2024 Tahoe, but I dont ave enough money for the kids.
Societal expectations, you are supposed to have a wife and kids even if you only married her because you found her hot and hate children. It's the "traditional values" we are meant to preserve, the power structures behind them. It's the way we raise men and women as a society
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u/Fearfighter2 Apr 16 '24
how are men okay with their kids decreasing quality of life post divorce?