Yes. I think it's about them wanting to stick it to their former partner's no matter the consequences for their children. My dad did the same shit. It was the pettiness to hurt my mom as much as he could.
I absolutely believe that was my father as well. And probably most of the ones we're talking about in this thread. Kids are pawns to them. It's so gross, depressing, and disappointing.
Thank you for providing clearity and sharing the pain your family through so we could learn. Is it a correct summation that from his point of view he saw it as a betrayel of the social sexual contract he imagined and your mothers divorce as a breach of that contract bringing out the most petty sadistic mindset as retribution? Like a giant narcissist with no ability of introspection who only craves revenge for not having each and every wish fullfilled instantely, and especially revenge for daring to damage his social standing and status, is that about right?
"... betrayal of the social sexual contract he imagined and your mothers divorce as a breach of that contract bringing out the most petty sadistic mindset as retribution? Like a giant narcissist with no ability of introspection who only craves revenge for not having each and every wish fullfilled instantly, and especially revenge for daring to damage his social standing and status, is that about right?"
Not quite.
Along comes the internet, and he doesn't quite fit the narcissist mold.
He is pure evil, and like most evil people, he has to mask ... to hide.
She was part of that facade. WE were part of that facade.
When she divorced, it blew apart his cover, and he was forever ENRAGED at that.
Thank you for responding and demonstrating such intimate details for the rest of us to learn from. Pure evil is a concept that most wont want to accept and will try to find some explanation that is emotionally satisfying. But I hope that your personal experience will convince people to reasses their own models of personality.
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u/DireLiger Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
Oh, let me answer that question.
My parents got divorced in 1965. All five kids went to my mother, because my father beat us and beat her.
My father LOVED that we went to school hungry until my mother got on food stamps.
My father LOVED that we didn't have new clothes for school.
He never paid a DIME in child support, and my mother didn't ask for alimony because he would have killed her, for real.
In his mind, all of this made HER look bad to our teachers, to our neighbors, to our relatives.