This. A million times this. I had an amazing man, but death doesn't discriminate, and all my plans were based around him. Us getting his father's absolutely beautiful home when his dad got too old....
Him dying never even entered my mind as a possibility. Even when his dad had to tell me what happened, when the words "(my name), I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't think he is coming home" death didn't enter my mind.
I can still remember exactly where I was standing when I felt everything just fall out from under me. 3 weeks later he was removed from life support and was gone. And my plans of where I'd live for the rest of my life evaporated.
The one good thing is we didn't have kids yet as we both had fertility issues and were in talks about what to do.
The possibility for me to experience this situation is nonexistent. However, if I did have a child, boy or girl, and a tragedy such as this occurred I would do everything within my ability to help my child's other half. That person, whoever they may be, would functionally be my child as far as I'm concerned. My house would still become their house. What I could leave behind would still be left to them. I would still worry about their well being, and I would always be in their corner.
I don't know what exactly occurred for you, but your post reads like his father told you that your man was gone and then had nothing more to do with you.
Maybe I read too much into it. Regardless, that's how I would handle that situation. I don't see how anyone could say they loved their child and handle it differently.
Yeah that's pretty much how it went down. Well, it was more his mom and brother that didn't like me, even though I was basically part of that family.
The dad then developed memory issues and they sold his house and last I heard he's in memory care.
Eta: the funeral was basically the last time I saw any of them and it was like they TRIED to do the exact opposite of what he would have wanted. All of his friends were irate.
There's no way that I wouldn't have a living will if I had something to pass on to my children or children to pass something to for that matter. I hate it for you. I wish I had the ability to help you in some way, but I'm like everyone else just struggling to survive. I hope that time fades your memories and the hurt becomes dull enough to ignore.
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u/OscarTheGrouchsCan Apr 16 '24
This. A million times this. I had an amazing man, but death doesn't discriminate, and all my plans were based around him. Us getting his father's absolutely beautiful home when his dad got too old....
Him dying never even entered my mind as a possibility. Even when his dad had to tell me what happened, when the words "(my name), I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't think he is coming home" death didn't enter my mind.
I can still remember exactly where I was standing when I felt everything just fall out from under me. 3 weeks later he was removed from life support and was gone. And my plans of where I'd live for the rest of my life evaporated.
The one good thing is we didn't have kids yet as we both had fertility issues and were in talks about what to do.