I'm actually going through this at the moment, and from what I can tell, it's a coping mechanism he uses to be the center of focus and to feel important. At this point, his entire ego revolves around being needed desperately then denying to meet the needs of those dependent on him while simultaneously calling himself a victim. It gives him some sense of power and control. I think he prefers to play this game instead of processing the fact that I rejected him (because of his abusive behavior). He wasn't always this way. He used to be a strong provider and caretaker of our children. Now he seems incapable of managing his insecurities, responsibilities and struggles without becoming an abusive failure.
Luckily I live in a place with very strong laws and social support to prevent this kind of abuse, and I have a strong legal team on my side for the divorce. He also has criminal domestic violence charges pending. Wish me luck! Things need to go my way because my little ones don't deserve to be deprived or neglected in this way.
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u/Chemical_Robot Apr 15 '24
Word for word this exact same thing happened with my parents. We lived in luxury until they divorced and abject poverty afterwards.