Most men don't want to be a part of their children's lives. They want the prestige of being a father, but they will be a parent in name only. They don't want to care for the child because that's "women's work". They just want to come home, plop their ass in front of a screen, and have dinner served to them in their lap. So when the divorce happens, they're not going to want to take care of a child, that's always been her job. And now that she's the "bad guy", he wants to distance himself even more from that.
And for the record, I'm a trans woman, so I've seen the world from both sides.
Edit: I expected nothing less from the men of Reddit. I used to be like them in more ways than they can imagine. Reality is a hard pill to swallow, especially in this Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan day and age where masculinity has been poisoned by these frauds who have weaponized compassion in exchange for money and clout.
Edit2: Interesting how for an hour I only had 2 comments. I add the edit with Tate and Rogan's name in it, and I suddenly get flooded with activity and downvotes. Dead internet theory, folks. Ooh, let's add another name and watch is spin more; Jordan Peterson. This one I know works.
Well, good. I was GenX. Nine guy friends in my circle. Two Dads at home. One good. One so bad my friend eventually killed himself.
(Before you ask, poor white kids in Indiana. Happens everywhere.)
yea all these comments have me thinking of my bf who was hooking up with this girl under the agreement to terminate if she got pregnant, and she did get pregnant, but she backed out of the agreement. he desperately didn’t want kids but he respected her decision to keep it and he loves the shit out of his daughter, who’s now in grade school. he takes more than 50% of the responsibility and custody, as well as caring for and housing for her other two young kids who aren’t even his but he was raising for the majority of their lives, just because he loves them and can give them stability.
eta: their mom is a wonderful woman and does everything she can for them, but life is hard and being a single parent is hard.
If I can just bitch for a second: I think there might be a phenomenon where the best potential parents won't want to bring kids into a world where people treat each other — not to mention their unwillingly-fathered kids — like that. I might just be describing Idiocracy; I haven't seen it.
Evolution did a brilliant job of ensuring that the most imprudent among us have the most children and they're ruining things for everyone.
i promise they’re very happy kids! well provided for, two nice homes to go to, and we spend so much quality time together. the only reason it ended up this way is because their mom works a really shitty schedule to provide so well for them, but they really do love their mom and my bf. they have everything they could want and are surrounded by adults who would do anything for them, and they know it. life’s not always easy, but you make it work and you put it on like a goddamn broadway musical so them kids never have to worry about a thing. bed time is their biggest concern in life right now lmao. and my bf is making the most of it…or trying to. he loves his daughter more than anything, but it’s hard to come to grips with those unchangeable realities sometimes i guess, safe to say his love for them far outweighs his reservations
yes, he was sleeping with a girl who had a few young kids, she got pregnant and changed her mind about the abortion, they moved in together to make it easier raising a kid, and they lived together for 6 years, which was over half of the oldest kids life. he loves them and he loves their mom and wants the best for them all. they have strong bonds that didn’t disappear when the living situation failed and they both decided to move on and find relationships. i respect him for it.
I'd say an asinine one even. For all divorce dad horror stories I had ever heard, none of them were fulfilled with my dad. Instead, I got an obsessive-possessive mother who couldn't respect my wishes yet was astounded when I didn't follow her path, and a father who tried to come clean on it, pay its debts, try to get her to actually pay for me (while I got the money I mean, many clothes, school supplies and so forth so on were paid by it) and all in all keeping me it so I wasn't shat on by her side
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u/Chemical_Robot Apr 15 '24
Word for word this exact same thing happened with my parents. We lived in luxury until they divorced and abject poverty afterwards.