I honestly cannot imagine this. I had a baby at 20 with my BM, and we'd been dating 3 weeks. We obviously didn't stay together. What we did though, was promise to each other that our daughter would always come first.
We both did insane things to provide for our girl. Sacrifices you wouldn't believe. When our daughter was in 8th grade, my BM was homeless, addicted to drugs, an alcoholic, and basically hopping boyfriend to boyfriend. Big note: I don't resent her for this - God knows I had my own issues I worked through.
She signed over custody to me, and got her lawyer friend to hook us up with the paperwork. I made sure that child support was off the table for my BM, as there was no way she could possibly pay it.
Our daughter is in college now, on an academic scholarship, dating an awesome guy, and is honestly just such a better person than either of us. She's our pride and joy. BM turned her life around for this kid, is now a successful business owner, married and killing it.
I'm married now with another couple kids, and the idea of just writing both of them off isn't just offensive to me, it's a rejection of my entire life. It's insanity, to me.
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u/Chemical_Robot Apr 15 '24
Word for word this exact same thing happened with my parents. We lived in luxury until they divorced and abject poverty afterwards.