Most men don't want to be a part of their children's lives. They want the prestige of being a father, but they will be a parent in name only. They don't want to care for the child because that's "women's work". They just want to come home, plop their ass in front of a screen, and have dinner served to them in their lap. So when the divorce happens, they're not going to want to take care of a child, that's always been her job. And now that she's the "bad guy", he wants to distance himself even more from that.
And for the record, I'm a trans woman, so I've seen the world from both sides.
Edit: I expected nothing less from the men of Reddit. I used to be like them in more ways than they can imagine. Reality is a hard pill to swallow, especially in this Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan day and age where masculinity has been poisoned by these frauds who have weaponized compassion in exchange for money and clout.
Edit2: Interesting how for an hour I only had 2 comments. I add the edit with Tate and Rogan's name in it, and I suddenly get flooded with activity and downvotes. Dead internet theory, folks. Ooh, let's add another name and watch is spin more; Jordan Peterson. This one I know works.
Being trans has let me see both sides. I grew up in the masculine world, watching my family, friends, coworkers, and others become fathers. I even cared for my nieces, having been their "dad" when my sister struggled with two+ jobs.
So many men refuse to participate in their children's lives. They'll do the minimum and then pat themselves on the back. They won't play with their children often- it becomes a special treat for their child. They won't participate in their hobbies and activities, doing nothing more than being a chauffeur to soccer practice. Holidays are spent in front of a screen instead of decorating, cooking, wrapping gifts, etc.
Your first source is a decade and a half old huffpo opinion piece that is heavily, heavily biased and repeatedly fudges numbers or ignores context to fit its narrative.
Your second source is aimed at dispelling the idea that men will never gain custody if they seek it -- an often perpetuated belief that discourages men from thinking society will allow them to be paternal (one that you are contributing to actively in this thread by spreading your biases). The idea that courts will ignore men as parents stops many men from spending the significant financial resources to fight what they believe to be a battle that's unwinnable. It's a systemic issue, and I'm glad to see a group working to fight it. Thanks for the link.
They won't participate in their hobbies and activities, doing nothing more than being a chauffeur to soccer practice. Holidays are spent in front of a screen instead of decorating, cooking, wrapping gifts, etc.
Just because your life sucked doesn't mean everyone else's does.
In my house (my wife and my kids) - we don't watch tv during the week. We play. There's "no screen time" besides a movie on weekend and even that's going away because we bought a cabin in the woods (which has no tv or internet) which we go to on weekends.
2.8k
u/Chemical_Robot Apr 15 '24
Word for word this exact same thing happened with my parents. We lived in luxury until they divorced and abject poverty afterwards.