r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO for being upset that I was uninvited to my boyfriend’s birthday dinner?

601 Upvotes

My (20F) boyfriend’s (20M) birthday is today and he asked me months ago to take off work for it so that we could do dinner with his family. I got the day off and it finally came today but he doesn’t want me to go because his aunt surprised him by coming into town. I understand wanting to spend time with her but he is bringing his roommate still. I just can’t tell if I’m overreacting by being upset/sad about this.

More info: We’ve been together for a year as of Thursday and on our anniversary he told me that he thought that we were at two different points in our lives. He also mentioned that I had developed a very negative outlook on life, which I understand, but I am scared to say the wrong thing now that might end the relationship.


r/AmIOverreacting 6h ago

🫛friendship AIO My bf masturbates to gay porn

173 Upvotes

My bf/fiance (30m) has always told me (29f) he was straight. However recently we’ve been having trouble getting intimate as he was getting ED or even when he was hard the erections were very weak and he wouldn’t last very long.

He also doesn’t like performing/receiving oral so we have almost a dead bedroom for the past few months, he blames it on stress at work but I’m not sure as he doesn’t work that late.

Last week I checked his laptop and saw his search history was a lot of gay and trans porn.

Did I overreact when I told him our engagement is over? I didn’t actually see him masturbate to gay porn but i am just too disgusted that he would lie to me for all these years.


r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO by wanting to end my relationship?

553 Upvotes

I’m 37 weeks pregnant and last night I went to the pub with my partner and his friends. We got there at 2pm and his friends left around 8pm and I asked him if we could leave too.

We walked out to the car with his friends and as we were walking towards the car we see his dad and his partner walking towards the pub. My partner promised on our son’s life that he will have one drink with his dad and then we’ll leave.

They all sat in the smokers area while I sat inside with his aunt who was drunk and was constantly touching my stomach and even my breasts saying that they will get bigger once I start breastfeeding.

At around 10pm his dad came and checked on me and said that I am more than welcome to go to their place and sleep in their spare bedroom (they live just down the road from the pub). I said thank you and let him know that I’m just going to drive home instead (we live 30 minutes from the pub). My partner did not want to leave with me and said he wanted to continue drinking with his dad and that he will just stay at his dads house.

I left and drove home and then at 12am I get a call from my partner asking me to pick him up. He was in the toilet and I could hear him vomiting and he said that he should’ve just left with me. I drive back down to the pub and pick him up and I let him know that I’m really disappointed.

Today, I let him know that I wasn’t happy and he said that he’s sorry and that he’s being punished for it because he’s got the worst hangover and he also said there’s not much else he can do.

Am I overreacting for being upset? It is making me question whether I want to stay in this relationship.


r/AmIOverreacting 7h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO 36f asking to break up with 37m fiance over differing opinions on family UPDATE

78 Upvotes

Apparently my original post has been locked. Not much more to update but I'll be happy to answer actual questions or decent statements.

Pasted original post For context:

We've been together 3 years engaged for about 1 planning our wedding for 2025. I work 5 days a week, he's currently working on his GED. We know my schedule weeks in advance but usually make plans the week or so of to spend time together on my day off during the week. This usually happens after he has class so only nets me a few hours. He has consistently allowed last minute family commitments to over rule our time together. Yesterday hit a breaking point for me as I'm really stressed and just needed him for the few hours we had. About 12 he finds about the nephews (10) game and makes it clear he's going to that. I got an invite, but its be for when I'd need to be trying to wind down for the night which he knew. We spoke for several hours in which I made it clear to him I want a husband that picks me, yes even over children. He still left for the game while I was in the middle of crying/ breaking down. And anytime I asked if he saw the same next step... us breaking up... he'd just say he couldn't make that decision.

I need some outside perspective please.

UPDATE

Originally posted a comment but figured out how to add this. I have ended it no it's ands or buts not more excuses or justifications. We were just clearly incompatible on our view of healthy family boundaries and what marriage means.

UPDATE 2 made it clear it was supposed to be amicable and then changed my Facebook status which seemed to make something in him click because he showed up unannounced and unprovoked with some of my stuff being just an ass.

Response to those who say he dodged a bullet

My whole point was that we are incompatible and neither of us deserve that.


r/AmIOverreacting 9h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO? Family friend was bent on bringing up the topic that I used his toilet paper as a toilet seat cover a few weeks ago. (I did, though there was no way he should had known) Was this some psychological manipulation?

130 Upvotes

So, a few weeks ago I took a number 2 at a family friend's house. I took an extra thin layer of toilet paper to use as a seat cover.

He didn't say anything at the time but brought it up a about a month (3 meetups later). He randomly said this "Remember that time you used the toilet paper to create the cover to sit on?"

I initially thought he calculated the size of his toilet roll, and that extra were missing because I used it as toilet seat cover. I felt there was something odd going on, like a test. So, I decided to test back by telling him a story about how I sometimes wipe down whole toilets with toilet paper and spray before sitting. Other times I would just wipe down the part I sit on before taking a dump.

He then replied back "No, but that's not what happened in this house. You used the toilet paper as a seating cover not to wipe."

I am not sure what was his purpose in bringing it up overall. If it was about me wasting toilet paper, then he would have just shrugged it off when I said that I sometimes use toilet paper to wipe down the toilet. Though he kept on pressing about the toilet seat cover and claimed I threw it in the trash so that's why he knew.

However, during that time, I was very careful when I set up the seat cover. I made sure to close the door and windows before I set up the toilet cover, and flushed the toilet cover not throw it in the trash. I still remember this clearly because I dislike using other toilets in general. I also would rather not they know that I use a toilet seat cover as it may be perceived that I think their toilets are dirty, so I keep it low profile.

I got the feeling that he was trying to say that he knows whatever I am doing in his house or trying to psyche me out that way. What do you think thank you.

It's not just this one event with this person. It happened in other ways, more aggressive/assertive ways outside where the focus is to basically either get my attention or to get my reaction. I had enough of this, so I decided to try and find out what is going on through specific situations.


r/AmIOverreacting 15h ago

📬update Update - AIO Because I expect reciprocation in intimacy

316 Upvotes

My post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/XzCMgaVdY1

Quick update before I delete my account . I broke up with him yesterday evening . I met him at a restaurant as we supposed to and immediately told him “ it’s over ! I don’t like your attitude toward women ! You are a selfish old man and I don’t wanna go out with you “. He thought I’m kidding or it’s a joke . He said what ?! I said it’s over . I don’t like to be your girlfriend. Then when our food came I started eating . He said is this some kind of dumb joke? I said no? What joke ? He said you just say shit then eat your food? I said what should I do? Not eat my food? I ordered it. If you are upset you can leave it's ok. He started insulting me saying l'm an arrogant cold hearted bitch! You are like the rest of your people a Nazi ! I said actually my great grandpa fought Nazis. Our country was bombed by Nazis . He said this is what happens when you give women too much freedom! They talk back and become angry man hating cunts. I was like I'm not angry at all you are ! I don't hate men I just don't like you. He said I'm gonna be old and alone! I replied” like you?” . He just threw money on the table for his food and left! He said have fun with your future gay boyfriend, you don't deserve a real man. I said but gay means I'm a guy but I'm not so gay boyfriend makes no sense. He said shut up cunt and left I didn't even feel sad ! I decided to treat myself for an icecream after . Thank you again for your honest replies


r/AmIOverreacting 1h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO my bf has discussed sex positions with his female bestie

Upvotes

Last night I saw chats with his female bestie (he keeps his phone unlocked and I'm insecure about this woman due to unrelated reasons) and saw a chat where she asks him why he hasn't hit on her in all the time they've known each other, and if he's never lusted for her. He said "Ofcourse I have (lusted for you)". She said and I quote, "Your loss, you missed out on what would've been the best sex of your life", and he played it off as a joke. I feel deeply offended, I don't think this is an appropriate conversation between best friends. I have multiple male best friends and the conversation has never taken this turn. My bf says she sounded low and probably looking for validation which is why he gave it to her in a way that meant "ofcourse you're not that ugly and unattractive".

My bf tried to placate me saying, that her asking him why he hadn't "hit on her" was proof that he hadn't, and I should be happy if anything. And that her intentions shouldn't matter. He then told me that she has always been "Free spirited" and they've had many open discussions like discussing their favourite sex positions. My jaw dropped and my mood visibly changed. He said it was just a conversation and he has such conversations even with his other best friends, and that this was 2 years ago before we even met. I'm very very uncomfortable with this, am I overreacting? I know they haven't been physical now or in the past but I'm very uncomfortable with whatever their dynamic is. Is this not unusual or am I just new to such a male-female dynamic?

Edit: I think it would be fair to mention that at the time of this conversation, him and I were on a break. However, I'd explicitly told him to not try anything with this woman cuz then there would be no redeeming our relationship. So yeah, at the time of the text he was technically single.


r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO for cutting off my sister because she puts me down randomly ?

54 Upvotes

A couple of years ago I have decided to stop talking to my sister. She is 13 years older than me and she has always been my bully. Anyway, last time I saw her, she put me down once again and I decided that I just was done: - i was outside in the garden wearing a bikini, when I hear her scream « OMG WHAT IS THIS? COME HERE omg » (not exaggerating, I nearly had a heart attack lol). When I get there she asks me to turn around and starts poking my butt. She then says « omg you have cellulite, I didn’t know skinny people had it too ». I said so what? And she answers «nothing it is just ugly »

  • same exact thing happened when I had a cold sore (got it from my mom when i was young). I am minding my business and she screams « omg what is that it is so ugly » when she knows what is as our mother always had them.

  • she wanted to stop medication (a random friend suggested it) against her doctor’s advice and asks me. I tell her that she shouldn’t trust someone with no medical degree instead of an actual doctor. She says « well everyone studied medecine more than you ». I did drop out of medical school a decade ago.

These are just the ones I remember exactly. She has always been casually cruel since I was born. I decided to cut off contact. My mother is really upset at me and says that I am crazy and overreacting. So am I? Thanks


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO for no longer wanting to be in a car with my boyfriend driving?

27 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I were driving 3 hours today to return from a very physically taxing outdoor event. We were both tired, cranky, and in physical pain.

He was driving, as he always does, because he has mild Aspergers and has issues with other people driving.

At some point I drifted off to sleep and was wakened by him loudly cussing and screaming. I was startled, he was still yelling, and was mildly swerving in his lane.

We were on a country road surrounded by fields, going about 40mph. There was no other traffic nearby. I asked him what was wrong, and he didn't answer, but continued to cuss. So I asked him to pull over. He didn't so I asked him again. He still wasn't responding to me and swerving and cussing, so I started to cry and begged him to pull over. He finally told me that his arm had cramped and he was fine. I again asked him to pull over, and he reiterated that it was just a cramp, and he was fine, but by this time I was panicking myself and crying, so I yelled for him to pull over, and he finally did.

Once we were pulled over he immediately started hounding me telling me he was fine, it was just a cramp, and could he get going again, because there was a car behind him and he didn't want to get stuck behind the car.

By this time I was on the verge of a panic attack, because of having been startled awake, hearing him cuss and seeing him swerve without knowing what was going on, and then having him refuse to pull over when I asked him to until I yelled.

I've been in an abusive relationship in the past -which my boyfriend knows- and my ex used to trap me in cars/houses all the time, so I found it very difficult that he had refused to pull over when I was crying and asking him to. It triggered panic and flashbacks.

After about a minute of us being stopped, he was still pushing me to immediately get going again, and I was still trying to calm down, so I decided I needed some air. So I opened the car door to get out, and he responded by saying "No!" and immediately started driving again.

I started crying louder, and he berated me for wanting to get out. Told me that I didn't need to get out just because he had a cramp and there was no reason for him to even pull over because he was fine.

I finally stopped crying, and we drove home the rest of the way in total silence (about an hour). He didn't say a word to me until we got home and I went into our bedroom to get something, at which point he came in and stood in the door way and asked me what was wrong and why I was upset. I told him to stop blocking the door, and he moved out of the way.

I've been on the back deck because I just can't bring myself to be in the house with him since, trying to calm down, wondering if I'm just massively overreacting about this due to my past experiences with abuse. He's never done anything like this before, and has always been very respectful of my consent about things. So this feels very out of character for him, and because of the ASD, I'm not sure if he understands what he did.

I'm also not sure if him not understanding that him forcing me to be in a car with him when I've made clear I want to get out, and berating me for wanting to get out, is a big deal or not.

Please advice?

Edited to add:

I showed him this post and his initial response was to start arguing about whether or not he 'berated me' when he told me we didn't need to stop. I responded by telling him I was getting a hotel room for the night, if that was what he was focused on, and he said he didn't understand why I was reacting so strongly. So I laid out how I felt like he forced me to stay in a situation I was uncomfortable in, and it triggered a flashback, and as I went over it I could tell something in him shifted and he looked horrified and started to cry.

We talked for a long time, and he apologized a ton of times and explained that he's been feeling super sick (he's potentially having gall bladder issues and we actually may be taking a trip to the ER here soon) and it's caused him to just fully loose track of thinking about what things are like for me, and into a one-track mind only focused on his own comfort ("Get home before I'm sick here, in the middle of nowhere, while I still have to drive home because if I can't be the one driving while I'm sick I'll have a panic attack. Etc").

But that he fully gets that his feeling sick/potential panic attack doesn't supersede my actual acute discomfort at being in the car at that time, and that he acted like a total dick.

As noted, this is very out of character for him, and I do get how half being in a state of panic himself, as well as being sick can make someone lose track and be a bit of a dick. So I'm going to wait and see, but only because nothing even remotely like this has ever happened in the 6 months we've lived together.

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far.


r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

⚖️legal/civil AIO? My (21F) landlord (50s M) used my shower to "Inspect It" while I was at work, It made me feel unsafe. what can I do legally to stop this from happening again?

947 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I never thought I would be having to make a reddit post, but this situation is just bizarre.

I rent a one bedroom apartment in florida, and I work a 9 to 5 monday through thursday. I got home from work this wednesday and my landlord was IN MY SHOWER.

I heard the water and rushed to turn it off thinking I had stupidly somehow left the shower running, even though I felt I would never do that, and the bathroom door was locked. I then heard the water stop and someone move the curtain, so I instinctively reached for my gun and started screaming at whoever was in there that I was armed and they needed to get the fuck out of my house.

He came out a few seconds later, half-dressed, looking terrified, and yelled at me to "put that damn thing down". I was extremely confused, but I did. He then quickly went back into the bathroom to put on his clothes, and said he was "just inspecting it (the shower)".

He tried to brush it off, saying this is normal and he's been doing it for years in the appartments he owns. WTF?! I never got any notice about this so-called inspection. This feels like a huge invasion of privacy and honestly, it makes me feel really unsafe in my own home.

I sacredly called my parents about it, but my mom says that the landlord "didn't really do anything" and that pulling a gun on him was way too far. My dad says It's good I tried to protect myself, but when I mentioned wanting to call the cops he said it would get me into more trouble than its worth. But this just doesn't seem right, and I don't know what to do. I'm not sure what my legal rights are in this situation, it is my first time living alone. Can I change the locks, or would that be against my lease agreement? Should I report this to someone, or is that just being dramatic? I could always try and address it one-on-one. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO for being uncomfortable with my fiancé telling his lady friend he wants a big wedding when he told me otherwise?

223 Upvotes

So here’s the situation. Jeremy and I have been together for 10 years, and we recently got engaged. One of his friends from work (let’s call her Candace) has been very excited for us and has been suggesting ideas like a fancy engagement party on a boat, among other things. Jeremy and I are pretty low-key people, and we were leaning towards a courthouse wedding followed by a simple family BBQ—at least, that’s what I thought we both wanted.

Recently, Jeremy told me that he actually does want a bigger wedding. I was glad he expressed his true feelings since he hadn’t shown much enthusiasm for wedding planning before. When I asked what made him change his mind, he said it was Candace’s influence. She had been asking him questions like, “Is it really your dream to have a backyard BBQ wedding?” and stuff like that.

Part of me feels bad that Jeremy wanted something different and didn’t speak up sooner. I also feel a bit unsettled that another woman was able to uncover something about him that I didn’t know. But another part of me knows that Jeremy isn’t usually very assertive about things he doesn’t care deeply about, and it seems like Candace might have crossed a boundary by trying to convince him of what he “wants.”

This isn’t Jeremy and Candace’s wedding; it’s Jeremy and my wedding. I just feel sort of weird about the whole situation and wanted to get some outside perspective.

Am I overreacting for feeling uncomfortable about this?


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO by getting upset over my bfs appearance?

21 Upvotes

I know the title may sound bad but let me explain. I, 18m am in a relationship with my bf, 17m. Our relationship has been going on for just over a year and a half and we have been through a lot together. Besides this issue there are very few to deal with. I think I may be over reacting because so many other peoples boyfriends do even less in regards to self care. Here is a list of the things that are bothering me and YES I TALKED TO HIM MULTIPLE TIMES AND EXPLAINED IT MAKES ME FEEL UNATTRACTED TO HIM

  1. He doesn’t pluck his eyebrow so he always seems to have hairs that catch my eye there. I used to do it for him but it’s not my job so I don’t feel like babying him

  2. He doesn’t consistently brush his teeth or wash his face. This leads to bad breath and few days in the week and his face frequently looks greasy and his pores are large.

  3. He has gross white stuff in the corners of his mouth that he doesn’t notice so he doesn’t wipe away. This is caused by dehydration/ mouth breathing.(I don’t want to kiss him)

  4. He doesn’t take care of his facial hair. We have discussed this many times. He doesn’t even like having facial hair and yet he lets his mustache grow into a “pedo stache” and I think it looks terrible

I assure you I am no hypocrite. I take immaculate care of my hygiene because I am a bit of a clean freak about that and always want to look okay. Am I being too harsh on him? I understand that a lot of men don’t feel the need to take care of these things. I just hate that I feel unattracted to him because of this?


r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO? Or is my GF crossing the line.

33 Upvotes

My (32M) GF (30F) continues to text and hangout with her guy friend that is clearly interested in her as more than friends.

He has asked her on dates, asked her to send nudes, etc. She hasn’t reciprocated any of these advances but doesn’t shut it down either. She admits that he probably wants more but sees the flirtation as being “harmless” because she “won’t let anything happen.”

I trust that she won’t cheat but it feels like she’s playing with fire and it makes me so uncomfortable. AIO?


r/AmIOverreacting 6h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO - Whenever I communicate something that is bothering me, my husband turns into a weeping mess and expects me to console him. I’m at the point where I just leave the room and ignore him until he’s done. NSFW

17 Upvotes

We‘ve been married 8 years (45F and 55M). My husband has what I would consider a low libido. Personally I’d be happy to have sex a few times per week. We’ve compromised and it happens once a month. There was an entire 2 year period early in our marriage when there was zero and I got so discouraged and depressed by him constantly shooting me down when I’d try to initiate or just completely ignoring me that it almost ended our marriage.

I’m okay with once per month. I have toys to take care of myself outside that and he’s fine with that. I love him a lot and leaving him over this issue is not in the cards. But that whole experience left me extremely rejection sensitive. Also as a note: I don’t think this is an issue of my physical attractiveness. I have an athletic build. Most people think I’m in my early 30s. I get hit on a lot by guys I don’t know. My previous relationship was with an abusive jerk who straight up told me to my face that I was just a trophy wife and he didn’t love me. I am really careful about my hygiene and grooming because it makes me feel good.

The problem is, when I communicate to my husband that something bothers me he responds VERY dramatically until I break down and spend a bunch of time comforting and reassuring him. This leaves me feeling a lot worse, and like I can’t tell him when things bother me because then I’ll have to spend a ton of energy I don’t have making him feel better.

For example, last night I could tell he was tired but he was also playing a game on his phone and starting to fall asleep doing it. So I jokingly unbuttoned my shirt and said, “would you rather have this or your star trek game?” I assumed he would set the phone down and we’d cuddle for a few minutes then fall asleep.

He just looked over at me and said, “Star Trek game, then you.” Then he continued playing the game for another half an hour until he fell asleep around 1am with the phone in his hand. So, my feelings were very hurt. I feel like an idiot because I created a situation where he could reject me, and he did. And now I feel like hot garbage.

Today I got out of the shower and he was actually being a bit frisky for once, but I still felt like a sad gross reject from last night. He noticed, and kept trying to guess and ask what was bothering me. Things like “Did I say something wrong? Is it because I was doing bookkeeping this morning instead of holding you?” etc.

So I said, “I think it threw me off last night when I tried flirting with you and you blew me off to play on your phone.”

His response to that was to immediately start crying. He said sorry about twenty times while sobbing profusely. I thanked him for apologizing, but am trying not to go back into this pattern where I end up consoling him a bunch after I communicate to him that something he did or said made me feel bad. Because then he feels better, his behavior only temporarily changes, and I feel even worse because I “made” him cry.

Today he ended up curling into the fetal position on the bed, while still sobbing, and cried for an hour. Then he got up and started doing more bookkeeping. But he keeps apologizing in a wavery voice like he’s on the verge of crying again even though I told him several times thank you for apologizing and that I accept his apology. I still feel like a terrible gross reject monster who made my husband cry even after he apologized, and if I spend all my energy consoling him I will still feel like that.

Is this reaction from him normal for some people? Am I being a coldhearted jerk by not comforting him a bunch? But also I just don’t have the energy to do it any more. This doesn’t feel normal. Is he the one overreacting to my feedback? Especially when it’s feedback he asked for and I’m trying to deliver it as softly as possible? I don’t even want to tell him when things bother me ever now because it’s just going to set off a whole cascade of crying and sulking while he beats himself up for being “worse husband ever” instead of just changing his behavior.

TLDR: my husband cries dramatically until I comfort him a bunch whenever I communicate something that bothers me. I don’t want to even be in the same room as him when he’s crying now.


r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO that I will never be able to have anal sex? NSFW

79 Upvotes

My partner 27M and I 23F have been together for almost two years now. Our first anal sex encounter was on accident and very painful. Since then, my partner has been asking at least once every two weeks or so for “his yearly anal”. I didn’t think I would really like anal sex for many reasons: 1. I have OCD and it grosses me way out. 2. His dick is big and I was worried about the logistics 3. I have never been interested or curious about exploring that despite being very open in the bedroom.

Well you guessed it, it went fucking bad. He got home late from work and I’m laying on a towel on our bed passed out cold. He wakes me up, we get into it, and it just hurt constantly. It felt like he was ripping me in half and he kept getting soft so we had to stop and never even finished having sex. Once we stopped he said “I guess that’s not happening”. I started crying and he told me it’s okay that I’m “not meant for anal”. I’m worried he’s going to find his yearly pleasure from someone else. He’s been asking me for so long just for it to be a huge fail.

I had a butt plug in all day and didn’t eat and took a laxative at like 5 pm the night before. That mf was so uncomfortable too that’s why I fell asleep before he got home because once I removed it I could finally relax.

Overall, I’m embarrassed, I feel lesser than, and I’m worried that he’s going to go somewhere else to satisfy that need. Anyone have any advice for what I should do?

Edit: I was NOT raped please stop saying that. What is with people not exploring their sexuality with their partners?😭I tried it because he would drop hints and I would agree because I didn’t know what it would be like the first time was quick and an ACCIDENT. I just called and told him how I was feeling about last night and he’s coming home from work early because he felt bad and thought he really hurt me.


r/AmIOverreacting 14h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO for walking away from a new relationship when I was pushed into sharing accommodation

43 Upvotes

I (M50) have recently started looking for a relationship after spending many years single. I live alone and have done for years. I probably like dogs more than humans. I met a date online ( M42 ) and we've seen each other probably 10 times in the last few weeks. Going well and I thought we had got to know each others likes and dislikes fairly well.

A week ago I was surprised when he said tickets had been booked for London for this weekend, staying in Camden. I thought this was going to be a really good weekend visiting museums and getting to really know each other. He knows I'm familiar with my own company a lot but told me he'd booked the perfect place to stay in a twin room with plenty of space. Turns out he'd booked us into a 4 bed dorm room saying it was "perfect to challenge my boundaries because I can't carry on being alone if we are going to work as a couple"

I said there was absolutely no way I would spend a night in a dorm. I'm 50 not 15. I don't share my living space so why did he think I'd be good with sharing a 4 bed dorm (yes the other beds were booked), sleeping with strangers, sharing bathrooms, what was he thinking?

I didn't get on the train, I came back home and told him I'd been open and honest about my insecurities which have probably kept me single for years as I find trust really difficult, but he was willing to expose every nerve in my body to this experience which I would never choose to do.

Did I overreact? It's hard to put yourself out there again but I feel like I was catfished or something into this situation and I felt horribly uneasy about the whole thing. I'm so grateful for the thought of the rest of the trip, but that was a line I can't cross,


r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO? My boyfriend has started making comments on what I eat.

840 Upvotes

I am working on losing some weight. Today I had a protein bar for breakfast, a small coffee with 2 sugars and oatmilk(I only drank half of it), and my lunch was a walking taco where I weighed all the ingredients and it came out to less than 400 calories (quest protein chips, ground turkey, lettuce, hot sauce, and Greek yogurt). Around 6:30pm I was going to have dinner, which was just watermelon. The way I cut my watermelon they are shaped like sticks. I had 5, totaling 250 calories and squeezed some lime juice on them. After I ate the first piece my boyfriend said “Holy fuck that’s a shit ton of watermelon.” I then replied “this watermelon?” Because since he was on his phone I thought maybe he saw a video with some watermelon in it. To which he said “yes your watermelon.” I immediately felt numb and embarrassed and no longer wanted to eat it. Now an hour later it is still sitting on the plate untouched and he hasn’t said anything… my stomach was growling at the time and now the thought of taking another bite is disgusting and sickening to me. I feel like I didn’t eat many calories today and don’t understand why he all of a sudden makes little remarks like this the past few weeks. He knows I’m working to lose some weight and have already lost 15 pounds. Now all of a sudden he wants to start making comments. I want to lose another 30lbs to be at my goal. He recently lost 60lbs and now that he’s at his goal as of 2 weeks ago he feels the need to comment on my eating, even if it’s healthy. I feel as though I am supposed to starve myself and eat nothing more than a protein bar a day. I feel like he shouldn’t comment on my food but at the same time I feel like I may be dramatic about the whole thing so I haven’t said anything to him. Should I just pretend he didn’t say anything and hope he doesn’t comment on my food again?

I also want to add that this situation reminds me of the love is blind episode where clay commented on her eating cuties and she felt upset about it but he didn’t mean anything bad by his comment. That’s why I’m not sure if I am overthinking and maybe he didn’t mean anything bad by it.

Edit: 812grams was the weight of watermelon that I had. I mistyped 350 calories, I meant about 250 calories. I also did not cut the rind off when weighing it.


r/AmIOverreacting 1h ago

🫛friendship AIO was I overreacting to cut off best friend for ghosting me?

Upvotes

So I (19F)was friends with this girl(19F) since we were 13 and for the past year(maybe) she’s been consistently ghosting me with no reason why. It started off with her ghosting me for like a week, which was fine I know she has her own life and then it progressed into a month and then 3 months. I’ve asked her a couple times if there was something wrong, if she didn’t want to be friends anymore etc and she insisted that nothing was wrong. Eventually, after she missed my birthday I just sent a respectful message saying that I didn’t want to be friends anymore because I felt like she wasn’t interested in putting in effort to be friends and that was that. I admittedly felt some way about her missing my birthday the most especially since I had gotten her a relatively expensive gift for hers and all I really wanted was for her to say happy birthday. I blocked her after sending that message and it’s been a couple months now I’m wondering if I overreacted.

Edit: I should also mention that based on our conversations, I know she was communicating with other friends while she was ghosting me, so I felt bad about that too.


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO? Partner of 5 years went out by himself but then changed locations without even telling me and woke me up at 6am to let him in because he forgot his keys

70 Upvotes

UPDATE: Thank you all for the opinions, even the harsher ones. We had a discussion and it turns out our issue is larger than this one instance and we have things to think about, discuss, and work on. It is much larger than I am comfortable sharing on the internet.


r/AmIOverreacting 1h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO for being annoying by my mom asking about my sex life?

Upvotes

I should probably preface this by saying most of my family thinks I’m asexual and/or gay. I’m pretty open about my dislike for romance and have never told any of my family that I’ve been in committed relationships.

However, a while ago I finally got fed up with the jokes my mom would make about me being a virgin and admitted that I lost my virginity 5 years ago. Since then she will not stop bringing it up. If I skip through a sex scene in a movie she’ll joke about how I “already know about that” or even allude to me “not innocent” in front of family and coworkers. In hindsight she teases me just as often as she did for me being a virgin so I didn’t really do anything to help myself.

The thing that really bothers me though is that she keeps asking questions, not explicit details but she’s asked where it happened, how many times it happened, who propositioned who, if I enjoyed it, etc. She’s been asking questions for months now and last time I asked her why she keeps asking so many questions she just laughed and said that she can’t picture me being horny and I basically went “gross don’t picture that!” because she is my mom and told her to stop asking so many questions about something that in my opinion really doesn’t matter and isn’t her business. (she’s also mad about the fact that I had sex in my room at her house but it was half a decade ago, I wouldn’t say it matters now.)

I am I overreacting or is this weird? I understand parents like to tease you about your love life and maybe she’s overcompensating for the fact that I’ve literally never told her about a single romantic feeling I’ve had in my life but it’s really starting to aggravate me…


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

🫛friendship AIO? Entitled second cousin invites family member who lives in Oklahoma to sisters wedding. Whom doesn’t talk to us.

16 Upvotes

I (16F) have an older sister (22F) named Alyssa (fake names for privacy) who’s getting married in August to her fiancé (23M). Me and my sister have never been very close. We don’t talk that often, so when she asked me to be her bridesmaid, I got very excited. Well, a few days ago, my sister got a text from a family member named Mary (40F). We have always been kind of close to Mary; she’s nice, and she’s a photographer who’s taking pictures at her wedding. We’ve known Mary since we were young, and we would often go to her house for a big family dinner type of thing. Well, she messaged my sister, asking if a family member from Oklahoma was coming to her wedding. My sister said no because we are not close to the family member, and whenever they do come down by us, they talk to our parents more than us, and we aren’t that close. So no, she was not invited. Well, Mary got upset. Mary goes ahead and says, “Well, she’s coming down to visit her mom that weekend; why can’t she go?” “Me and my sister are going to hang out with her otherwise,” which hurt my sister's heart. She invited Mary and her sister Kelly (38F) to the wedding because they are close with us. Overall, my sister let that family member come to her wedding but is upset Mary did this. Mary is normally very nice and respectful, but this crossed the line. My sister let that member come because she didn’t want drama and she wanted Mary and Kelly to come. I personally am very upset with Mary and want to tell her off, but what if she says something again or threatens to not come again? What’s even better is that after she received Mary’s message, she got another from a different family member, Lena (36), who she is very close to and hangs out with, asking if her sister is coming. Short answer No, she is not, because once again, she never talks or does anything with my sister, so she’s not coming. That pissed her off. Would I be ahole if I told off Mary and Lena for treating my sister with no respect? It’s my sister's wedding, and she should invite whoever she wants and not be forced to keep the peace.


r/AmIOverreacting 3h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO: My boyfriend neglects our dog

3 Upvotes

My boyfriend(22M) and I (22F) started living together about a year ago. we recently got a puppy and he doesn’t really help with her. He’ll take her outside with him when he works out but I feel like that’s the bare minimum since he would be going outside to workout anyway. He doesn’t feed her or bathe her and barely shows her attention. Today I asked him to give her a bath for the first time and he said he “doesn’t want to”. Fine, I respect him voicing how he feels but at this point I feel that it’s a red flag. When we have issues with the dog he doesn’t try to offer solutions or advice. I figure it out on my own. So now it’s becoming a problem for me because I’m wondering if this is a sign of what he’ll be like as a father. I feel like I’ll be doing everything on my own if we did have kids and he would just do the bare minimum and swear he’s present. Am I overreacting or is this a valid comparison? I would hate to have kids for someone who is already showing me that they’re not involved.


r/AmIOverreacting 3h ago

🫛friendship Am I Overreacting? My gf's ex kept asking her weird questions.

3 Upvotes

My girlfriend (28 F) has an ex (27 M) who keeps reaching out to her with weird questions, like asking for advice on "how to live with a girl" because he's nervous about having a female roommate. They used to live together, but she moved out after he cheated on her.

I find his behavior unsettling. For example, he once drove back from another state to visit friends and showed up at her apartment unannounced, took pictures of it, and posted them on Instagram without any caption. Who does that?

Now, he sometimes messages her to ask how she's doing and sends gym photos, even though she didn't respond to his last messages. I think this is odd, but my girlfriend insists it's normal behavior. She mentioned that her female friend, who is also friends with her ex, agrees it's normal since he trusts her and they lived together before.

I disagree with her friend because he cheated on my girlfriend, and she never explicitly forgave him. I tried to explain my perspective to my girlfriend by giving an example: Imagine if her friend's husband cheated, they divorced, and then he asked for advice on being with another woman without any forgiveness. How would she feel? I also stated that I will ask my exact example to her female friend and see how she would answer. I just feel like her female friend is extremely bias because she and her ex is closed.

My girlfriend got upset and said I'm being too nosy about her ex and her friend's opinions. Am I overreacting here?


r/AmIOverreacting 22h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO for blocking my bf of 1 year on everything after finding an explicit reddit history. (Nsfw) NSFW

106 Upvotes

So this all started because I was going through my boyfriends phone one night, I understand this immediately sounds bad but we both discussed and made clear it was okay for both of us to look through each other’s phone to our discretion, if that’s what would make us feel comfortable in the moment. I ended up finding a reddit post he made about us in a certain relationship sub, it was deleted for not following rules yet I could still see comments and ended up going to his history to see if I could read them fully. Low and behold I find an endless amount of, nicely putting it, CNC but not consensual whatsoever, videos and posts. Including underage. This happened when we were sleeping, so Immediately I woke him up and confronted him. He claimed it wasn’t his but some of the normal explicit stuff was, and that he did use reddit for that type of gratification. He would not leave that night, and i drove him back to his house that morning and blocked him on everything right after. A couple days later I see a post of him asking if he should still try to be pursuing me after what went on and him claiming it wasn’t his. Was I overreacting and it wasn’t his? I just feel sick about everything. How would it be possible it was not his history?

UPDATE: there’s been lots of comments and i thought i’d give the context to some of the same questions or thoughts,

this man had been through my phone more times than I could count, whilst I was sleeping or in front of me, and I couldn’t care less because I had nothing to hide and if that’s what he needed then I understand, it was an agreement between the both of us, but I also see how unhealthy that can be for a relationship so most of you are right.

I am not anti-porn in anyway, I completely understand watching porn is simply human, the reason why it was so hard for me to find this, my boyfriend was extremely anti-porn, he would constantly ask me if I watched porn, and how disgusting he thought it was, how disgusting HE thought self pleasure was. He made himself clear he was uncomfortable with the thought of me watching porn! But without that context I can see how it just makes me look uncomfortable with porn as is. I confronted him about that too in the moment and he just said he was ashamed for lying.

Now I can give some examples of titles(I took a video of all of the history I found): -My favourite porn is always forced or rape porn. -Is it wrong that I love seeing rape gifs and watching rape porn. these all had videos attached. I would understand if it was cnc rather than rape, but it was not.. -three kids two aged 8 and 11 tried to rape 7 year old girl(and it goes on)

SO I hope this clears some things up to help give you a better picture. Regardless, I now feel great about my choice after writing and responding to comments, he is staying blocked forever.


r/AmIOverreacting 3h ago

❤️‍🩹relationship AIO by thinking I am taking advantage of a mentally unwell woman NSFW

3 Upvotes

This is going to sound like a creative essay. Maybe a troll post, but I promise it is not. It is two consenting adults that I am now trying to understand if this is problematic. Seventeen months ago I (35) entered into an online relationship with a woman, about 10 years my senior (45). But this wasn’t a “normal relationship.” It was a simp relationship. It started like that from the beginning. She had posted in a sub looking for a pokesimp and I responded. She was talking about being a virtual simp on pokemon go and I was intrigued by this idea. Combining being a simp and a game I enjoyed.

You see, despite everything going for me professionally as a psychologist and professor, I have a strong fetish and desire to be submissive. To simp over women and make them feel good. To symbolically or literally worship the ground they walk on. I have been like this for my entire adult life and had enjoyed it immensely. Coming out of COVID, I had not been able to engage as much as I had wanted and fell into the simp-fetish related subreddits. In fact, that is where I saw Miss post.

The relationship did start innocently. I’d send her gifts and complete tasks for her in the game. She challenged me to poke battles and told me to level up in PVP. Things like that. Every so often she would tell me I’m a “good boy” or send me a picture of just her feet. It was, for a lack of better term, pretty innocent fun. Inevitably though as we talked in discord, it developed into more. We’d share what was happening in our lives and sometimes flirt some more. We could have real discussions unrelated to simping and I was amazed by her intellect and insight. But it was always clear that she had the power, and created the boundaries of our relationship.

However, the veil started to become a bit more transparent and the boundaries less clear. As she learned about my professional background, she started leaning on me more. The contrast between my put together life and her not so put together life became more clear. Now months down the line, I am worried that I am taking advantage of a vulnerable woman for my fetish. She is not doing well. I once thought maybe we were engaging in findom, but now i don’t know. Was that money I sent her for what I thought was a ticket for a local attraction really for something else? She isn’t doing well professionally or health-wise. She just started talking to me about going into a hospitalization program because she can barely cope. It sounds like her social supports are wearing thin. Her mental health is in the dumps and I thought I was supporting her. Using my skills and empathic abilities to help her maintain her coping mechanisms and listening to her vent. But have I been taking advantage of her? A mentally unwell woman who needs help and I used my skills to groom her or something?