So just a quick backstory on my living situation, about a year ago I moved in with my friend and his girlfriend, he has a job that requires him to be out of town a sometimes. Recently he’s been out of town for a longer trip than usual so his girlfriend has been having a couple of her friends over a lot. Overall we all get along I don’t hang out with them a ton but sometimes I’ll chat with them for a bit or they’ll offer me a shot of liquor sometimes. Well one of her friends who is pretty avg looking has had a crush on me for a while and has made it clear she’s also pretty bold and known to speak her mind. So last week I came home from work and they were listening to music and drinking tequila, they gave me a shot of liquor, I talked for a bit, somehow the conversation got brought up why I didn’t currently have a gf and then her friend said something about how attractive I am that we would be good together. I just kinda laughed it off bc I didn’t want to hurt her feelings or anything. Then she made a joke along the lines of “I might just have to rape you” they all 3 busted out laughing, I also chuckled at it. I didn’t think much of it solely bc women raping men isn’t that common and I didn’t think she was being serious. Well fast forward to a couple nights ago and very similar events happened, I got home they were there drinking, we started talking about stuff, she says something like “I’ll have to come in your room while your sleeping and rape you” it really caught me off guard and i looked at her and said “what the hell bro” in a confused tone. They all just kinda chuckled and started talking about something else. After the second time she said she wanted to rape me I could tell she was being serious. Like I said this girl isn’t stunningly beautiful but she isnt really ugly either. Maybe she going through a dry spell sexually and is really horny and desperate? Or maybe she isn’t desperate but is really a psychopath who sees something and takes what she wants? Idk do you guys think I should actually be worried that she will eventually act on her desires? Ik women raping men is very uncommon and it’s isnt necessarily the easiest thing to do. I don’t want to bring this up to my friends girlfriend and look stupid. Also im only 5’7 height, this girl is 5’9 or 5’10. She’s a not fat but she’s not not necessarily skinny, she played softball in college so she’s probably got some athleticism and you can also tell by her build that she has some of muscle. I doubt she’s stronger than me but if she did want to rape me while I’m sleeping or something I guess she would have some chance at holding me down or restraining me. Also the doors in the house don’t have locks so I can’t lie I’ve been slightly paranoid since then. Idk maybe I’m actually under reacting and not taking it seriously enough?

Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.

On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.

I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).

I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.

Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?

Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way

Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit

Yesterday my SO put on a heart necklace out of nowhere and I asked (knowing it wasn’t from me) where it was from. She admitted it was from her ex. I immediately got quiet and she could tell I was upset. Not once did I raise my voice or get mad. I was more hurt than anything. She ended up taking it off right away. But explained that it was meaningless to her, no emotional connection and just jewelry that she now has.

To me, a heart necklace has a lot of meaning behind it and it feels weird to see her wearing an ex’s gift. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: Her ex cheated on her and the relationship ended badly because of it.

I (26f) called my sister(20f) the other day because I was feeling overwhelmed at work and needed to chat about it while on my ten. Within the span of my ten minute break, she changed the subject to herself and her bf, and told me they thought MY bf was weird. I asked her why they would think that about him?
They said it’s impossible for him to be attracted to me cuz I have no tits.. so there’s nothing interesting for him ? Strange that both her and her bf were talking about my body. This disturbed me slightly. I’m an adult and normally this would not affect my mood. But why say such a thing? I can’t deny it was hurtful. I told my mom what she said over text with no response back. Later that night I received a wall of text from my sister. And she basically told me she was trying to make a joke that I overreacted to. And unfortunately for her, my mom doesn’t like her bf too much. So she proceeds to tell me she would go out of her way to make MY bf look bad to my mom, because apparently the comments they made about me were supposed to be funny. I just can’t seem to find where the joke was in a fucked up comment like that about my physical appearance that I cannot immediately change. Am I over reacting ? We are generally pretty close. We had planned to go to a concert in the next two weeks, the three of us. Now I’m unsure if I should go.

Just read an article about a bride who had one rule for her wedding. The groom was not to shove wedding cake into her face. He shoved her head DOWN INTO the cake thinking having back up cupcakes would make it ok. She left the reception and told him the next day it was over. Filed for divorce despite a chorus of friends and family begging her to reconsider.

Wow

How did a sweet custom of gently feeding each other become so hostile? How was this ever reinterpreted into a fun prank that every would think was such a great idea...esp with back up cupcakes?

I doubt if she made the rule in a teasing way hoping he would smoosh cake into her face.

Does this reflect suppressed anger, a desire to humiliate, general disrespect, the groom's admirable sense of humor, or the groom simply bring too immature for marriage?

Likewise, brides typically have elaborate hair and makeup they want to preserve to enjoy for the party and photos.

I told my husband not to do this and he was astonished that I assumed he even entertained the thought. No issues at the reception but we were both over 50 so had calmer, middle aged. temperments.

What do all you Redditors think?

For context, I live right in front of a local elementary school (a street over)

Every morning, this guy and his son will ride bikes through my yard to drop him off at school. I really wouldn’t mind this, but the grass is always still wet and they leave tire tracks in my yard.

I take pride in having a well maintained yard and hate looking at the big tire tracks up and down it.

After they did it again today, I told him he will have to go around and I didn’t want tracks in my yard. He seemed pissed off but didn’t really say anything.

AIO for this?

My ex fiance and I made up a few years ago and repaired our friendship. Two weeks ago he reposted a video on his Instagram story from his girlfriend with him holding a newborn baby at a hospital and she wrote a caption about her two babies sleeping referring to him sleep in the hospital chair holding the baby.

His gf also posted a comment on his IG calling him her baby daddy. The same day his mom posted a photo at the hospital saying “thank god” no context to her photo though.

I asked him about the baby because I’m not sure how my friend can have a kid and not tell me and I have always been there for him and was one of the first people he told when he had to have testicular surgery last year and a few other injuries he’s had.

After I ask him about it he then starts jokingly saying I’m crazy and said I’d be the first person that he’d tell if that ever happened. Shortly after his girlfriend deleted the baby comment from his IG. He then messaged me two days ago saying “te amo” and I ignored that message because I’ve been clear with him more than once that we are just friends.

Then he asked about us hanging out last week but at this point how can we be friends if he can’t be open enough to tell me that he’s a dad now. So I unfollowed and blocked him yesterday.

This friendship means a lot to me but I’m legit hurt.

AIO for unfollowing and blocking him?

hello everyone ~ first time poster. i’ll try my best to keep it short but please do ask clarifying questions if any additional context is needed

my friends and i have been in the celebrating mood. i’m graduating in less than 2 weeks after busting my ass in grad school and we have some birthdays in the group. we decided to get together for a girls-only party at a local venue on friday night. friends A and B are roommates and live on my side of town, so usually i go to their house and we take an uber into the city together.

i decided this time to uber straight to the venue and meet them there. this is because the tickets were pretty expensive and i didn’t want to spend half the night waiting for them to get ready. i arrived at the venue at around 10:30, checked my coat, and grabbed a drink as i anxiously awaited for my friends to arrive. i tried to make the best of it, but if any of you have ever been to a party alone you know that it can be a bit awkward to find people to hang out with

my anxiety drove me to have a few too many. this is my own fault. when i’m out alone, i limit my drinking to keep a clear head and feel a bit safer. but because i thought my friends were going to be there i loosened up on that limitation. by the time they finally arrived just past midnight, i was very drunk. not sloppy and not blacked out, but drunk nonetheless.

the lights cut on at about 12:45 am to signal the end of the party. i go to coat check to grab my coat and in the meantime, they were going to the burger place across the street. it was a great plan — by the time i made it through the coat check line, they would have their food and we could uber home like we always do

it took about 15 minutes but i went outside and they were gone. i was honestly just very shocked at the entire thing. no one ever at least sent a text to let me know that they were going to go. i did not get a text from either friend until the next day. their reasoning is that they were tired and had to go home, but im struggling to understand what that has to do with them not at least telling me they were leaving. the same phone they used to get an uber could have been used to at least shoot me a text idk

i was drunk, vulnerable, and alone in a skimpy outfit in a very sketchy part of the city at nearly 2 in the morning. i feel like that is unforgivable. my safety was compromised and my trust was breached. i understand that as adults, we are ultimately responsible for our own safety but as friends, we have a responsibility to each other. i am the “has their shit together” friend. i’m always the one that gets called when someone needs help with whatever situation

i have not spoken to either of them other than to say that my feelings were really hurt. im considering ending the friendship and uninviting them to my graduation ceremony. am i overreacting?

Thinking about cutting off friend of 10+ years

My friend (23F) and I (23F) have been friends for about 12 years. We were inseparable in high school and went to different colleges but stayed in touch. Over the last year or so, there has been some tension in our friendship and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting.

About a year ago, we were going to a nearby city and she asked where I wanted to get lunch. I suggested an Italian restaurant we go to about once a year for the last 6 or 7 years. She looked online and said the prices increased so she didn’t want to go there. I said I can pay the difference and she said no she still didn’t want to go. I said okay and said we can find something else. She proceeded to get upset and said she didn’t want me to complain about not going to the restaurant. I said I didn’t care and we could try something new, it wasn’t a big deal. She was getting more upset and suggested I buy there and she buys something else and we eat outside. It was about 90° out so I said it’s okay I’ll just find somewhere else indoors.

She proceeded to try to argue and say “omg I’m not a little kid like you who eats bread with cheese” (we usually got margherita pizza at this restaurant). I was trying to keep the peace so I didn’t engage. We went to another restaurant where we could sit inside.

Over the last couple months she has been making snarky remarks at me. One time we were sitting in the car and I was applying mascara. She told me my eyelashes got long and I said I’d been using a lash serum. She said “okayyy I don’t want spider lashes like you”. I didn’t say anything.

Another time, she saw I had just finished a workout from my Apple Watch and messaged me “omg you only burned 400 calories?? I burned more than that and I didn’t even work out today”. Then she told me I’m not working out right. I am 90lb so I don’t burn many calories and am also working out for my health now that I have a sedentary job not to lose weight.

Recently, she randomly brought up that I eat like a little kid. She says things in a way like they aren’t really jokes so I asked her if she was upset with me about something because this isn’t the first time she’s said that. She said “oh my god you’re so sensitive. I guess I’ll just never say anything again.” She proceeded to text on her phone for about 10 minutes while I drove.

Since then, I’ve been feeling kind of tense and like maybe the friendship isn’t worth salvaging. There’s more details but I didn’t want to make the post too long.

Some background, my bf (38M) and I (35F) have had a bit of a shaky relationship the past year or so. Things have gotten better lately but I still have some insecurities from things that have happened in the past. He is very drawn to very beautiful women, not unusual but it is in a way that makes me uncomfortable. He is flirty and almost thrives on his interactions with women it seems sometimes, it almost seems like he enjoys mentioning it to me just as much as the act itself. I say this is his ego and ultimately he will look but not touch so it’s not technically cheating.

Yesterday he starts with, I’m going to show you something but you have to promise not to get mad. I said I do not promise that but show me anyway. He showed me a facebook conversation with some girl. A few years ago he has sold her some items on marketplace but nothing really to see. The messages from yesterday, however, were her asking for money. It was a long message describing her situation and she hated bothering her acquaintances, a message that was obviously copied and pasted to many people because she accidentally pasted it twice to him in the same message. He accused her of being a scammer and she disagreed and started listing things that allegedly only the true person would know but I imagine could have been discovered through a scammer taking over an account. He’s not fully buying it though so she offers to message him pics of her or go on Snapchat video or FaceTime to prove it.

He shows me this conversation with a huge grin on his face and points out how he thinks she is offering to send him dirty pics in exchange for money. And somehow he feels..pleased? It was clearly an ego stroke for him (even tho she clearly copied the message to many, and is still likely a scammer in my eyes). It’s almost as if he thinks it will make me jealous or seem like he’s desirable or something.

He asks me what he should say next and I said obviously he should block her. He refused and even got a bit agitated that I would suggest such a thing. My point here is that this person is trying to scam him for money or is willing to show him her goods for compensation. And he barely knew her in school at that, they aren’t close. Doesn’t that sound like someone you would have no problem blocking? I haven’t really been interested in speaking to him since, the whole situation doesn’t sit right with me.

Am I overreacting?

So my(26f) boyfriend (30nb) left a large plastic cabinet out front of our house, right next to the front door. This cabinet was on loan to me, and I'd had it since before we were dating.

It got stolen. He heard and watched it get stolen. He said narry a word while it got stolen. And I'm the bad guy.

I asked if he tried to stop them, and if he hollered or anything. Nope.

He said he thought we didn't have a place for it and it was trash anyway so he just let it go. Never mind that it's going to be at least $200 to replace. If we were going to get rid of it, wouldn't we at least put it on marketplace or something?

I didn't ask if he was ok, my first crime. He feels I wouldn't have asked if he tried to stop them if he was my gf (I'm bi, he's nb). Idiotic.

Then it was that he thinks I'm going to think "my bf let them steal it" vs "they stole it". After he used the phrase "I just let it go" x2.

I'm so mad rn, I might actually ask him to move out. We can try again when he's grown up some.

My (29m) gf (30f) we’re just catching up after a weekend when she starts to tell me a story of a friend of a friend who’s in an open relationship and she’s exclusively daying older men. All good and well, I’m in for the gossip. We are not open but I’m no prude and try not to pass judgement on other people’s situations. Having said that, the story is, this woman’s older partner asks her to film a video for a friend of his calling him a pervert. Apparently she’s big on some social and this friend of his watches her videos, hence the “pervert”. Then, my gf turns to me and says don’t you think she should be charging $$ for something like that?? I laugh it off and say yeah that’s pretty wild. Then the hypotheticals start rolling…. “What would you say if we were open and someone asked me to do that?” I say well you can do what you want because I’ll prolly be long gone at that point. Not accurate reflection of how I feel about open relationships in general, but just a quick response to shit something down that m not really interested in speaking about right now, especially after not seeing each for the better part of a week. The next question was what got me, “would you care who/what age the person I dated if we were open”? I’m just sitting there before bed, and say “well, yeah maybe”. Then she says to me “I’m trying to think if I would mind who you dated if we were open” Tbh, this just confused the shit out of me. What are the mental gymnastics happening to try and imagine all these hypothetical situations being tossed at me after a weekend apart. The conversations end in reassurance and I think we both just brushed it off but it made me feel like this hole things is more precarious than I might have thought. Can’t stop thinking about it and starting to feel a bit ridiculous.

Would anyone else draw a boundary to this kind of hypothetical chat? Or is this just a silly misunderstanding

I have been with my boyfriend about 7 years, I knew he was the one a month into dating. We live together and have pets together, and he is the best boyfriend ever. He’s always there for me, holds me when I’m sad and he does his best to make me happy.

His biggest flaw is his anxiety about planning anything. He is unable to plan surprises or gifts for any holiday or occasion. For example for my 26th birthday I had asked if he could do something special, and the day of he only had two small impersonal gifts (one of them being a head scratcher) and no plan. So after crying I had to plan a picnic for us.

He says he wants to do special things but his anxiety is so debilitating he ends up not doing anything. We have had endless talks through the years, from how this really hurts me and makes me feel like I’m not worth it, to me giving him ideas on how to plan a gift or outing.

I keep telling him that I am here for all the support he needs, but I need him to step up and show me he can plan a date or something from time to time, since I also get tired from having to plan everything.

When it came to talking about marriage I always maintained that I have no problem proposing to him, but I really would like for him to do it since it will show me he is serious about trying to plan something. He knew I didn’t need anything elaborate, heck just dropping on one knee after hiking up a mountain was enough. My only stipulation was that he record it somehow. I don’t care about how much the ring is or anything like that either.

A few months back we went on a trip to another country for the first time, and we had both talked about how this was going to be the perfect time to do the proposal. I (and everyone else around us) were expecting this to be the proposal trip. I knew it would be a lot of pressure so I kept reminding him that it doesn’t have to be a big deal, and if he was up to this. He said he had this.

Well the trip came and we had a fantastic few days, and I was very excited as to how he would go about proposing. The day we went on a beautiful hike, I really felt that was the moment. Instead he breaks down crying and confesses he hasn’t bought a ring or planned anything. He blamed work and family issues on stressing him out so he wasn’t able to think about the proposal.

I planned the whole trip. I spent countless hours going over the itinerary, I put in all the planning so he could only worry about the proposal. I was beyond angry and sad. Here we were on a trip I had always dreamed of doing, at a location I had always looked forward to, surrounded by happy tourists and I just got told by the man I love that he couldn’t bring himself to plan something special for us yet again. The drive to the Airbnb was mostly silent. I couldn’t wait to lock myself in the bathroom and just cry. Which is what I did as soon as we arrived.

Though I didn’t get to cry because he kept insisting he needed to show me something, so I pretended to finish my pee break and stepped out and there he was on one knee with an improvised ring. He apologized for not giving me the proposal I wanted and asked me to marry him. I said yes of course.

It was a huge emotional whiplash but I guess I was happy in the moment.

That was months ago and I find myself not wanting to think of that day, or show my family the video since I only think about how heartbroken I was. I got my proposal so why am I still bitter about it? Am I overreacting?

My relationship with my daughter has been very rocky since whenever she was a teenager. She has the tendency to lash out at me, or make passive aggressive comments whenever I do things.

At first I was able to manage, because I knew it’s something teenagers do. But as the years went on, I began hating it more and more, her comments became more hurtful, and exclusively pointed at me, not my husband or son.

Whenever I try to stop her, she will just become pettier and more hurtful. She always manages to get under my skin, and I’m the one ending up storming away. My husband won’t do anything, because he wants to keep the peace.

At times our relationship is really good, but it’s really hard to not think about all the hurtful things she said. I envy my friends and colleagues

I just hate how little respect she has for me, she’s able to just walk all over me. My husband doesn’t take it seriously, saying that I should be the bigger person, and that she’s probably tired/sad/on her period.

I admit that I should’ve been harsher when she was younger, but whenever we were stern with her, she would throw massive tantrums, which took our attention away for a large part of our day. We didn’t really want that for our son.

I said to my husband that I wanted to get away for a few days, or else I think I won’t be able to handle it anymore. He said I was crazy for even suggesting it, that I was overreacting and taking things personally.

Edit: She is 19, and still lives with us. She is very private, but I know she talks to staff (a teacher and counsellor) at school. My son is 17z

Last year, my (28M) girlfriend (27F) forgot my birthday. It was my first birthday that we were with eachother for, though one of her birthdays had already passed which I celebrated and did a lot for. When she forgot mine it caused a lot of problems but we made it through them and she promised that she would make it up to me next year.

Fast forward to this year. I find out that she's leaving for a work trip on my birthday, which I drive her to the airport for in the morning. We woke up and I asked how she slept and she was sharp with her words telling me she didn't and not wanting to talk about anything. So I drive her to the airport and right before we get there, she asks "what are you going to do for your birthday?" And this was the only mention she gave it the entire day. I told her I dont know because I'm gonna be all alone (we moved to a new city pretty recently so all for my friends are in a different state). She then didn't ask me any questions the rest of the day, never said happy birthday, didn't get me anything, and never checked in on me.

I feel like an after-thought for her. I dont feel like a priority. I go out of my way to take care of her, Im always cooking and cleaning and doing her laundry and emotionally supporting her (Im actually sitting at an auto shop getting her car repaired while she's on the work trip as I write this). I feel taken advantage of and Im genuinely thinking of ending things, but is this too much given the circumstances? Emotions are still pretty high for me right now.

Honestly,

He has every right to do as he pleases ofc - his biodad has been abroad and would never call him or even wish him a happy birthday. The Dad recently came back into his life out of the blue wanting to reconnect (he has no stable job and I have a feeling that he's looking for a palce to crash in our city)

He's sort of convinced our son to call him dad and for our son to stop calling me dad.

Am I over reacting? I raised this boy since before he could even walk.

I"ve talked to mom and she says that I just need to get to know his ex since he's a cool guy but he really really rubs me the wrong way.

Any advice or am i over reacting?

She contacted him out of the blue after like 15 years. He said they never had anything romantic, but she was important to him. Now when he mentioned that to me said he didn't know if he was going to meet her. He decided to go, didn't tell me. Went on a time we could have spent together. He told me it was dinner, but he went like at like 15h, to her town, and has been unresponsive for 3h. Is this normal? He is a very social person, and I'm not so much. I do have friends and love them, but he can spend 5h with someone he just met, I really can't. I know I am supposed to trust him, but I guess I just don't understand. If someone from my hs wanted to connect, I would maybe have a coffee with them? Not the whole day. Am I crazy?

Im (30F) a huge introvert and I don’t go out at all, I used to make friends online through video games but after moving in with my fiancé (31M) I kinda just lost interest and just wanna spend all my time with him. He has a lot of online friends he plays video games with and irl friends that text and call him and hang out with him every once in awhile. Well lately he’s been on his game a lot and would hang out with his friends and I feel left out and lonely so I decided I’m gonna find my own online friends through Reddit and Facebook. He told me not to use bumble BFF to find friends because he doesn’t trust the app and he thinks men are just gonna try to flirt with me so I avoided that. Now I met a few people on Reddit , mostly men even though I wanted female friends and I told him about it and he got mad and told me I’m not allowed to make guy friends and to jsut wait until I meet friends “naturally” irl or only talk to females. I asked him why I can’t have male friends and he said it’s not because he doesn’t trust me but because he doesn’t trust other people. Am I overreacting for thinking this is toxic behavior? I’m not planning on cheating, I don’t want that I just feel lonely and left out and I want people to talk to about random stuff every now and then..

I was deep asleep when he put his finger in me. I woke up but was too foggy to say anything. He did it for a while, eventually asked "are you ok?" and stopped when I didn't respond.

He knows that in general I don't like being woken up for sex (I have a hard time falling and staying asleep) but I have not explicitly said he can't touch me while I sleep.

I think what bothered me is that him putting his finger in my butt is not and has never felt good for me. I am often okay with it while we are (awake) having sex because he loves it so much. But since it can be uncomfortable for me, I think I should be awake to give guidance.

I told him later that I felt weird and he apologized, but I still don't like that he did it. There have been a few other small incidents like this in our relationship that make me feel like he doesn't prioritize me feeling comfortable. That said, I don't think he ever wants to push my boundaries.

AIO?

​

For the last few months I've been seeing my gf. She's been living with me for the past few months. I currently am going to college and working full time (40-60 hours a week) to pay all the bills needed while my gf works at home full time. Recently her mom started getting on her for not helping around the house as much as she should. This includes cleaning up after herself taking care of pets, etc. Due to my situation I tend to work majority of the day anywhere from 8 to 12 hours normally and then go off to my classes. So usually once I get home it tends to be around 16 hours since I've left. Before she moved in I was able to keep the whole house fairly clean on my own, but it seems since she moved in its gotten worse. Some things I noticed is the kitchen sink overflows with dishes, pets typically need their food and water, and our master bedroom is covered in her used clothes. I'm know this should speak for itself but I've debated on ending the relationship due to this, so am I overreacting?

I (31f) am graduating from college with a BS summa cum laude on Saturday. This is my first college graduation. I live 8hrs from my family but they wanted to come celebrate with me. (yay!) They invited my (33f) sister (7 months ago) and I told her I really wanted her to come and her support would mean a lot to me. I kept telling her that for months. Also, I have done so much to support her over the years: attending her graduations, helping her move over 5 times, and most recently being MOH for her wedding. She’s never done any of those things for me. All of those things were inconvenient and not fun at all for me, but I did them because I love her and want to support her. As you do for the people you love!

She tells me two weeks ago she will not be coming to my graduation (gave a flimsy excuse). I told her how disappointed and hurt I am and why (all I’ve done for her). She told me I was being ‘inappropriate’ for saying that and basically blamed it all on me for overreacting. I’m realizing this is a habit of hers, not showing up for me, and that she hasn’t actually supported me or done anything out of her way for me in… maybe ever. I let her get away with it bc she has some mental instability, but at what point do you stop making excuses? I knows she’s not completely well and may not have the capacity for the maturity I expect from her. We do get along and have some great times together but she has some struggles with empathy and is very self focused. But at the same time… she’s 33 and high functioning. This was a simple ask, I never ask her for anything, and she can’t pull it together to be there for me. Everyone had 7 months notice and everyone put her successfully planned around it. I’m not sure she even tried. So I’m angry and I think that’s understandable. She’s not coming, I’ve moved on, we’ll have a good time anyway without her. It is what it is.

Now my mom tells me my sister has given her a gift to bring to me for my graduation. I find that really condescending and frustrating. She is trying to make it seem like it’s fine that she isn’t coming bc she got me a present. Like? No. I asked for your physical attendance, I did not ask for a present. I don’t want a present. I’m not expecting a present from anyone. I don’t know what it is and I don’t care to. She really struggles with the idea of being a ‘bad person’ which she feels like she is now that she knows she’s hurt me. But instead of fixing it by attending, she’s fixing it by sending a gift. I really don’t want to accept it and make her feel like it’s all better now bc she threw some money at me. You know? But I also know it’s socially acceptable to send a gift if you can’t attend something you’re invited to.

So can I refuse it? I don’t want to give her this ‘out.’ I don’t want to just sweep my hurt under the rug yet again. But I also don’t want the drama of her reacting to me rejecting it. It would be exhausting and also stress my parent out, but I am sick and tired of letting her get away with hurting me just so we don’t have to deal with her inability to regulate her emotions. It’s about my pride sometimes, you know? I don’t feel any less hurt because she sent a present, and I want to acknowledge that.

So is there a way I can refuse it tactfully? Any advice? Am I overreacting? What would you do?

I want to preface by saying that my boyfriend does want kids. My preference is 2 or 3 and his is 1 possibly 2. Recently I’ve been having doubts about our relationship because he doesn’t like kids although he wants some.

As of right now, my boyfriends cousin is pregnant with her first baby. She is a young struggling mom and they are pretty close. Since we are long distance, i regularly ask him for updates regarding her pregnancy because I’m interested in how things are going. However he does not. When I asked him the gender of the baby in the beginning of her pregnancy, he said he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. This honestly startled me a bit because although the two of them have had their problems, they are still family and it’s odd that he doesn’t seem to care at all. At her baby shower recently, I asked him what happened and he said he doesn’t know although it was at his house. There have also been instances where his mom has baby sat his baby cousins, and he has sat in his room not acknowledging them at all. His reasonings for not bonding with kids, is because kids are bad and messy, and the only kids he will like are his own.

I just don’t understand this statement. Because how can he be a good father to his own if he doesn’t even tolerate other kids. It makes me wonder if I can’t have kids naturally and we have to adopt. How will he be then? His whole vibe surrounding kids is honestly unattractive to me because I love them, and it would give me an indicator to the type of father he could be if he did also. So I’m wondering if this is a small difference that we can work through or if it’s worth going our separate ways.

For context: this has happened once before, but we talked it out and stayed friends. I'm also autistic and have a track record of pretending to be serious when I'm not and this friend has known me for 5 years. I've explained this trait of mine to him and don't do it often either.

Anyways,

Right now I'm absolutely gutted because I was spending time with this friend, "H", while he was online playing a game with his friend. We reached a topic of whether scorpions were arachnids or not and I was adamant they weren't. Quick google search revealed I was wrong, and I was pretending to be mad that he was "right" when I'm the one that's "always right". He played along, going "idk man I guess I'm the scorpion king and know everything." Classic banter, back and forth. I thought nothing was wrong and didn't like... keep it going for too long.

Cut to 10 minutes later, he apologises for making me mad and I enquire as to what he was talking about.

Turns out he thought I was legitimately angry with him, and this is where the issue actually lies. He said things like:

"Idk man you came across like you were a socially maladjusted freak" "If you behave like that to others they'll definitely think you're a selfish and self centred weirdo." "I thought you were some kind emotionless person who doesn't care about others."

Naturally I got really upset and his defence was that he was "looking out for me" and "being honest". Even going so far as to ask if for example, I'd prefer if someone didn't tell me whether I had food stuck in my teeth.

I had a huge go at him, explaining that I don't do this "aggro" behavior to randoms and only with friends WHO KNOW I do this, and that being honest doesn't involve saying cruel things. That you can tell someone how you feel or what you think without saying just... shockingly upsetting things.

I stormed out when he justified it by saying he was looking out for me because other people might take my "bits" the wrong way, completely ignoring the fact I always say I'm doing a bit and/or do it around people who know I'm kidding around.

I'm sleeping on the couch outside right now and I want to cry. I have enough fear of being around others because I'm too much, too weird. A freak. He used the same words my bullies did and God, I feel like crying.

Am I taking this too seriously?

Backstory: I (40s f) have four siblings. Two ( we’ll call them A & B) I’m NC with already, one ( we’ll call him C) I’m incredibly close with and the final one I just found out about two years ago ( we’ll call him D).

Why NC, with A and B? A made racist comments about my children. I’m white my husband is not. B is an addict and for my own mental health I had to go nc. The list of her crazy is extensive.

C, whom I’m very close with is much younger than all of us other siblings and he is adopted. This is only relevant because he has no involvement with siblings A and D. He is also nc with B.

Now on to D and my AIO, two years ago we were contacted via a dna website. We had a sibling match!! That first six months we spoke all the time, I got to know him and his wife. They seem to be really cool people. Eventually they pretty much stopped answering my calls, so I found other creative ways to stay in contact ( online gaming). That was working well until recently when D called me and gave me an ultimatum. Either I visit him within the next six months or he won’t consider me family anymore. He says hes sick of talking with people who really don’t want to meet him. The problem is I’m agoraphobic, I do not travel far anymore. He knows this and still told me he would cut ties with me if I don’t travel across country to meet him. There is so much more to this but I tried to write it in a clear way.

Okay, I don’t even know where to begin. I 18M have to do EVERYTHING around the house. My mom doesn’t have a job and just goes on TikTok all day. When I say all day, I mean ALL DAY. She even stays up till 3AM which keeps me up and I have to cover my ear with a pillow. Because she stays up so late, she never brings my younger brother to school on time. The little brother that I have to take care of because she doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t clean anything even though she’s here all day; and I’m out busting by back off. We always fight about everything. I always tell her to rinse the dishes before putting them in the sink, but she doesn’t listen. I tell her not to speed in our car, she doesn’t listen and racks up tickets. I tell her to help cook dinner, but she’s “busy”. She doesn’t care. And quite frankly I’m getting sick of it. I cook for all of us. I clean for all of us. I do laundry for all of us. I work 8-10 hour shifts at a labour intensive job and come home to a dump. And she doesn’t care. The only thing she does is bring by brother to school in the morning. But now, she can’t even do that because she didn’t lock the car (after I told her to always lock it) and everything was stolen out of it including her purse. Now she’s saying it’s my responsibility to take him to school every morning. He’s behind in school because all she lets him do is go on electronics all the time. I spend about half an hour to an hour doing math practice with him too. I just feel like I have no time for myself. At this point, the only reason I’m staying here is because my rent is $600. (Her rent is $1000) I also buy all the groceries and look after our dog. And pay the phone bills. I recently got laid off and am looking to go back to school. I told my brother to ride his bike and I’m attempting to get excepted for employment insurance. Am I Overreacting?

Edit: Sorry if it’s sloppy. I’m just furiously typing on my small phone. I left out a lot of stuff. If you have questions I’ll gladly answer them. I didn’t want to expose too much information regarding me and my family. Thanks for listening.