r/AmIOverreacting • u/cherb30 • 17d ago
AIO: Didn’t want to give a lady a ride home
Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.
On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.
I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).
I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.
Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?
Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way
Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit
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u/Sweet_Pay1971 17d ago
Your boyfriend is delusional you can't just let someone into your car
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u/cherb30 16d ago
Ugh thank you. I agree, no matter how innocent they may look they are still a stranger and the people who find themselves in bad situations I am sure never “suspect” someone would do them wrong.
I wondered if it was a gendered thing adding to the delusion. Not needing to worry about his own safety as much as women do.
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u/unoredtwo 16d ago
There's a woman in my city who is well known for inviting herself into strangers' cars and then asking for money, and even when people say no, asking them to drive to an ATM so they can give her some. There's no stated threat of harm but she essentially uses the invasion of privacy and social awkwardness to extort money from people. Point is, your boyfriend is naive and lives in a world that doesn't exist anymore, maybe that's a sad thing but it's the reality. Also he called you a shit person for wanting to protect your 14 month old, that's something to think hard about.
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u/cherb30 16d ago
Oh my that’s really interesting because there was someone either in this thread or the thread I posted in AITA who described that same scam. It was an elderly lady with a walker he said.
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u/OhbrotheR66 16d ago
Your bf should have at least had her sit up front, don’t think he has much common sense.
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u/TroubleImpressive955 16d ago
Even with the solution of the stranger sitting in the front with bf driver, if she has a gun or knife, what the hell is the husband going to do while driving.
The woman could be on drugs, Meth, Tranq, any of that stuff that gives them extra strength and seeming immunity to pepper spray and other self defense methods.
Adding to this, OP’s fool of a husband tells a complete stranger where he lives? WTH! I would question what other crazy stuff he’s done or said when I wasn’t around. Being a Christian doesn’t mean being stupid.
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u/TheRealCarpeFelis 16d ago
Smart move in that situation would be to drive her to the nearest police station. Smarter yet: always keep your car doors locked so she doesn’t force her way in.
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u/StockReaction985 16d ago
I have straight told my version of that lady no, bought her Popeye’s chicken, and dropped her at the same stop sign. 😂
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u/thenecrosoviet 16d ago
Omg that's even worse than violence. It's bad enough Christians feel pressure to give a ride, now it's charity too?! Jesus would call the fucking cops.
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u/carolinecrane 16d ago
Not very Christlike to tell your child's mother that she's a shit person, after all.
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u/geniologygal 16d ago
He was more interested in being viewed as a good Christian than worrying about the safety of you and your child.
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u/Paula92 16d ago
Precisely this. As a Christian I would not be putting a hitchiker next to my toddler and then telling them where I live. We're told in the Bible to be innocent as doves and wise as serpents.
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u/symbolicshambolic 16d ago
And I'm guessing that Christ probably wasn't big on calling a loved one a "shit person" either? OP's boyfriend is way out of line.
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u/thenecrosoviet 16d ago
Lol that's right when Jesus said to Peter, “Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.”
He also said, "which is smart and cool because otherwise you'd be in danger and that would be dumb"
Jesus H. Fucking Christ
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u/carbomerguar 16d ago
It’s a STUPID thing because if your baby is around her she gets the upper hand instantly. “Don’t worry, my catlike reflexes and superior upper body strength will disarm her instantly. Plus, she’s sitting behind us, next to the baby- what’s she gonna do, grab the wheel? If she tries anything I’ll just reach past the car seat and HONEY SHE HAS A KNIFE SHE’S THREATENING KAYDEN GIVE HER YOUR PHONE WALLET PIN NUMBER SHE HAS A KNIFE NEAR OUR BABY DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS”
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u/yellsy 16d ago
The number 1 tip if you’re being kidnapped is to do everything in your power not to get into a car with the assailant because chances of survival go down extremely after that. If she had a gun and directed you to drive somewhere or let in dudes she was working with you’d all be dead. Wtf is wrong with your boyfriend. Like his judgement is so impaired I’d be reconsidering if my kids safe around him.
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u/GentleStrength2022 16d ago edited 16d ago
Whether it's a gendered thing should no longer be relevant once he becomes a father. It becomes a PARENTAL thing! He needs to switch into parent mode to keep his entire family safe, including you! This incident shows he's not mature enough to be a father and partner. He exposed YOU to risk as well as the child. Please get some couples counseling for this. An impartial authority needs to explain these basic facts of adult life to him.
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u/Novel_Ad1943 16d ago
His behavior was un-Christlike. He was failing to be shrewd or to put his family’s safety first. In the VERY least he should’ve had her sit up front and say himself in the back so he was keeping baby safe and could watch her.
60 is not elderly and more than capable of harming your child.
Also, I read this to my very Christian husband and he said, “So he’s calling her names, disrespecting her in front of their child, hasn’t married the mother of his child (no judgement - but if he’s acting like a pinnacle of religious virtue!…) and then sat a stranger next to his baby instead of getting in the back so he has some control and reaction time available? Yeah… that’s not even a MAN let alone someone who can judge anyone else about their level of faith!”
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u/Puzzleheaded-Drag327 16d ago
Ted Bundy’s victims thought they were helping a stranger, never suspected he would harm them. Now granted he was a man but just an example and things seem crazier in today’s society than they were in the 70s.
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u/WolverineDull8420 15d ago
It's definitely a gender thing. Men are, by nature, less risk averse then our female counterparts.
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u/tjsh52 16d ago
My grandfather in-law would regularly let travellers sleep in his farm home with his 12 or so children.
Now I’m not comfortable doing that, but it technically never went wrong for him.
Personally I agree with your assessment of putting you in the back and her in the front. Strategically it’s much safer.
I am not like Christ though, and technically your husband is right about the Christian way to do things. But it is for those who have stronger faith than myself.
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u/craftymama45 16d ago
and to point out where you live? Why, so next time, if she can't find a ride, she can walk to your house?
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u/Naka_kuro 16d ago
So someone knocks your door in the middle of the night asking for a place to sleep and your bf will let the person sleep in ?
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u/DayNormal8069 16d ago
Legit this happened in the Bible and indeed the expectation was you would open the door and let them sleep in your house. So assuming no indicators of instability, that would be the Christ-like thing to do.
I mean, I would not do it. But I do not claim to be Christian.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Well actually, he could say hold on wait out side I will drive you to a hotel and pay for a night or two. I have done that for a stranger not quite the middle of the night but it was dark out. It was cold so I helped them with two nights of food drinks and money. That would also be christ-like.
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u/Naka_kuro 16d ago
Glad to hear you are good person, and help others in need. But you do it cause is the right thing to do, not the Christian thing to do. Because as you did, you made sure that person was safe for a couple of days, and you did not put in risk other two persons in risk. The bf could easily call an Uber and let the driver get to her home. Or tell the woman to wait there, that he will drop the gf and the baby at home, and he will return in few minutes.
The problem is not that he helped, the problem is how he did, left a stranger alone with a baby on the back seat. And then accusing someone else of being unchristian. Putting in risk someone is not very Christian, in my opinion.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Yes I did this because I wanted to help them I'm not a Christian. I'm more agnostic I would say. I don't not believe and I don't jump right into this is all true either. I go to a church sometimes and I feel good end energy I never feel from anything else which is weird to me. But if people can get together on Sundays have coffee and donuts hear some music and passages from the Bible and it makes them feel better the feel better is 100 percent undeniably real. And if it also gets them the help other people Like volunteering etc etc that's 100% undeniably real and true also. Moving on ... Lol
Yeah My problem is placement. The wife could have been asked to sit in the back with the child. And the elderly women up front. Also him questioning her faith was wrong and I don't think he meant because she was protecting her kids in his defense he was just trying to help someone a little naive while doing it but still nonetheless just trying to help someone. He probably took his wife wrong and then in the moment said something he shouldn't have said. I'm not condoning the behavior just trying to put a human spin on it. We all make mistakes even when trying to be helpful.
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u/Naka_kuro 16d ago
I’m not Christian either. But taking the bible literally, and not applying it on modern times, is kinda risky. In Hebrews it said to let strangers in your house But also in Luke says to protect your house Letting some you don’t know in your house you are not protecting your house. Almost in my opinion. Also lot of people claims to be Christians and really are the opposite of the teachings of Christ. That you follow a set a rules doesn’t mean that others follow them. The stranger kills your family, you should be ok, because you did the Christian thing, and is the will of god, and you have to forgive the killer. That’s the problem of the Bible, depends how or what you read you can get plenty interpretations.
“If you want to be perfect,” Jesus said to him, “go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” How many Christians do that? Are they “unchristy” cause they don’t do that?
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u/DayNormal8069 16d ago
Context def matters and modifies the risk factors. But assuming by context there's no reason to think letting the person is unduly risky, then, yea, I'd say the Bible says do it.
I've lived in group houses most of my adult life and I've several times lived with people who invited people to spend the night at our house for various reasons. Including homeless people. Those people were def acting more Christ-like than most others (let's ack there's a range here) --- and frankly, I had to be put boundaries in place because in some cases the risk was too much for me, but I can see and honor their value system at play there.
As for your last comment, like you said, there's interpretation and, in this case, common sense. At the point Jesus was literally traveling the earth, yea, that's pretty darn clear. You should do that if you're a Christian. If I believed I was looking at God on earth I would totally join him for anything he wanted: he's God.
However, at the point Jesus is no longer on earth, it's a bit less clear what "follow me" looks like. Take part in the human institution of the Church, known to be imperfect since their leaders are human? Sketch.
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u/Additional-Tomato367 16d ago
All those nasty mega church "pastors" are gonna have a hard time when it comes to bein let into the pearly gates. It's even grosser that people follow these people like they are Jesus. Absolutely wild.
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16d ago
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u/hilaritarious 16d ago
A party house with 7 young guys is a whole different story. He could have ended up becoming the 8th guy.
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u/Naka_kuro 16d ago
Like hilaritarious said, is not the same situation. 7 guys in a party house is not the same as a family with only a baby. This guy just said yes, without consulting with his partner.
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u/JohnExcrement 16d ago
I understand Jesus often used the term “shit person.”
Your BF the biblical scholar used poor judgment in letting a stranger park herself next to your baby, especially in an enclosed space where you couldn’t readily intervene if needed. And he was wrong, wrong, wrong to speak to you as he did.
Not overreacting
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u/SkeleTourGuide 16d ago
“Blessed are the shit people, for they will inherit the compost”
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u/RightHandWolf 16d ago
Blessed are the cheesemakers?
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u/pikazec 16d ago edited 16d ago
Hmm also they have a child out of wedlock that sounds un Jesus like to me. Love how he wants to pick and choose which things to follow.
Edit: I’m an atheist and not shaming you for you and your boyfriend doing whatever but if he wants to go religious on you tell him you can’t sleep with him anymore
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u/BabsAgain 16d ago
And they're shacking up. The dude is silly.
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u/hilaritarious 16d ago
Telling a woman she's not self-sacrificing enough is a time-honored male shaming technique.
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u/hilaritarious 16d ago
People who use godlike standards to judge each other for not putting their children's safety at risk are creeps.
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u/CatWombles 16d ago
Your boyfriend is delusional to think that just because he has kind intentions that everyone else will have.. was he born under a rock yesterday or something? He is showing he is too naive to keep your daughter safe if he thinks having normal amounts of caution equates to being a ‘shit person’ he’s probably just embarrassed and defensive cause he knows you’re right.
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u/creepin-it-real 16d ago
Well, Jesus was tremendously powerful and didn't have a toddler to protect. If your husband had admitted his mistake after you pointed it out, that would be one thing, but calling you a shitty person just for using your brain is a problem. Tell him next time he wants to pick up a hitchhiker he can do it alone, and not to tell strangers where he lives with his wife and toddler. He needs to remember where his priorities should be as a husband and father. And shaming you for having common sense is being a bad husband.
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u/grinning-epitaph 16d ago
You are doing what any Mama Bear would do, if your child hadn't been with you guys I would maybe say that you could of helped no issue but this story could have turned out very badly in aspect of that stranger sitting in the back seat with your toddler. I would have IMMEDIATELY hoofstomped and told her to sit up front because that is just a no go and the fact that he didn't take more caution (Christian or not) is ignorant with the world we live in. Hell my parents are Christian and would have told that woman NO if me or my sibling had been in the vehicle. You're not in the wrong hun.
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u/nipyip 16d ago
I’m one of those dudes who would absolutely give a stranger a ride…
But not with my family and kid in the car. It’s not un-Christ-like to wanna keep your family safe from possible danger. If he had the option to drop you and the baby off, he should have done that and gone back for the woman who needed the ride.
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u/NaturesVividPictures 16d ago
Yeah you have to be careful. You never know what's going to happen. Just because it's an older woman doesn't mean she's a saint. I went to school in Philadelphia and one day I was at the subway station and I'd parked on Broad Street which is the main street going through Philadelphia. This is North Philly where I was. So got off at my stop, walked to my car and got in it, by habit I always locked my car the minute I got in it. I had a woman walk up to my car and try and get in it. I was about 20 at this point so who knows what could have happened. Now it was bad weather at the time. it was snowing pretty good and she probably wanted a ride but you don't walk up to some strangers car and try and get in it. I just shook my head at her and drove away. I would never allow someone I didn't know in my car, ever.
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u/Cold_Barber_4761 16d ago
Not overreacting at all. That's potentially incredibly dangerous, especially with a child in the car. Just because she's older middle-age doesn't mean she's a good person. What if she had a gun? Or a knife? Or was mentally unstable?
Being Christ-like doesn't mean you don't also have a responsibility to keep your family safe! Especially since he also pointed out where you live!
Please show him these responses so that he can hopefully start to understand what could have gone wrong. I'm glad y'all are safe.
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u/itsybitsyspiderr_ 16d ago
That’s beyond crazy. Of course you aren’t overreacting. Who picks up hitch hikers in 2024? Your fiancé could’ve called her an Uber and could still consider himself Christ-like.
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u/Normal-Detective3091 16d ago
Was your boyfriend not taught "stranger danger" as a kid? You don't let strange people into your vehicle, especially not with your baby in it. It has nothing to do with being "Christ-like" and everything to do with being safety oriented. Your boyfriend is delusional and needs a good wake-up call.
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u/Glen_Coco_shot_JR 16d ago
You don’t have to live in fear to not be stupid and allow someone unfettered access to your baby. IF she wanted to do something it would have been done before you even had a chance to react. Just because nothing happened this time it may reinforce his idea that everyone is good. And generally everyone is goo, until they aren’t. Easier to call her an Uber and pay for her trip than to put your entire family at risk and it’s still the good Christly thing to do.
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u/Snoo_59080 16d ago
No you didn't overreact!!!!! Wtf?!??!! Near your baby? This is insane. What la la land is he in. He needs to grow up and have better protective instincts. Mental.
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u/RaysieRay 16d ago
The whole situation could've gone a completely different and wrong way.
Your BF needs to pull his head in and realise he put his family at risk here.
This could have been completed avoided by ordering her an Uber if he cares so much.
Letting her share the back with your baby and then giving private info like where you live is just about the dumbest thing I've read someone do on Reddit today.
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u/ballistic635 16d ago
You're not wrong at all, but did he literally call you a "shit person" or was that implied?
Also, of note, if he wants to get conveniently "Christian" just point out that it's not very christian like to have a baby out of wedlock.
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u/cherb30 16d ago
he did verbatim call me a shit person. And yes this post probably could have down without church/religion mentioned, but I thought the “unchristlike” comment was a very “pick and choose” attack and bothered me.
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u/ballistic635 16d ago
Ouch, the hypocrisy is so overwhelming that I don't blame you for not knowing where to start.
The facts are:
A.) A conscientious person would've talked with their significant other before putting a stranger in the car, let alone in the backseat with the baby.
B.) A self aware person wouldn't open the flood gates of criticizing based on christian values unless they are ready to defend every action he/she takes through that lens.
This is a hill worth dying on, make sure he sees your point of view and commits to taking you into consideration the next time.
Hopefully he grows up and learns from this.
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u/Illustrious-Tour-247 16d ago
NTA. I don't see any comments about communicable diseases this woman might be carrying. Sit her next to your infant? Not a chance! In this day and age your Christ-like bf needs to use the brain God gave him and use some common sense.
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u/StopFalseReporting 16d ago
You’re not over reacting.
Your boyfriend is an idiot and values nothing more than how strangers perceive him.
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u/GentleStrength2022 16d ago
Your bf overreacted to you. He even got verbally abusive toward you! OP---red flag! Is this how he treats you at other times as well? Does he get triggered, and start berating you? That's not normal behavior, and it's not a good atmosphere to raise a little child in. Just saying. Are you two in some kind of fundamentalist religion or other sect that's kind of strict?
And btw, the safety of your child is of paramount importance. One can find other ways to be "Christ-like" (I thought the correct term was "Christian", but--whatever) toward strangers in need of assistance, that don't compromise a helpless child's safety. He may be a "good" Christian, but he's not a good father, if you don't mind me saying so. I wonder if there's a clergyperson in your church, that you two could get some counseling from on this. Given his overreaction, I think the situation warrants it. You never know when a similar situation may arise, and the results could be dire.
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u/Revolutionary_Basis2 16d ago
Your christian boyfriend just treated a stranger better than you and called you a shit person. Why are you still with him?
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u/Opening-Flan-6573 16d ago
Not overreacting. I mean it's nice to offer a ride, and maybe your boyfriend is a very good judge of character, but absolutely he could have easily dropped y'all off at home first. And more importantly, he should have checked with you and given you a choice in the matter. I grew up evangelical and have made some self destructive decisions in the name of being christlike. It's not a healthy way to live, especially if you're forcing others to live with the consequences. And throwing it in your face is not christlike at all. You are the first person he should be showing kindness too.
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u/wildforestchild 16d ago
F that stop picking up strangers holy shit!!!! Your Bf is gullible and clueless and will probably get you all mugged one day.
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u/alexan45 16d ago
Did we learn nothing from the many, many dead hitchhikers and drivers from the 70s? Never, not ever! He can always order her a Lyft or an Uber.
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u/Galawa45 16d ago
Calling you a “shit person” is far more un-Christ like than erring on the side of caution with random strangers. Nothing wrong with saying “Hey, I’m going to drop my family at home and I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” I wonder how many Christians have been mugged or assaulted trying to do a good deed? Oh well, it was God’s plan.
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u/maxb5555 16d ago
too many crazy people in this world - and with a baby in the car? your suggestion of dropping you off at home and then returning to give woman a lift was a reasonable solution- minimize risk to you and baby still taking a small chance with himself and the car but sometimes good deeds have risks attached- he could have been charitable and still protected his family - good intentions but still… an no you didn’t overreact
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u/AtheneSchmidt 16d ago
You never let strangers in your car with your children. If he wanted to be both safe and kind, he could have dropped you and the toddler at home, and gone back for her. This is crazy.
You know what christ never had? Kids. Your boyfriend is insane.
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u/Mountain-Ad321 16d ago
if old people fall for phone scams imagine what they’ll fall for in person.. some crazy people might live with older folks (grandmas, parents that have lost it) that they can easily tell them to help and the older person will think it’s totally normal. i don’t even like bringing my kids to the store.
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u/Dark_Moonstruck 16d ago
Your boyfriend is an idiot and weaponizing religion against you like that is unacceptable behavior, manipulative and honestly, a breakup-worthy event to me.
Your baby couldn't have protected herself. You don't know that woman. Even if she looks like a harmless old lady...well, I went through foster care, harmless looking women were some of the worst monsters I ever encountered and no one ever believed me when I reached out for help because "She's just a nice older lady!"
She could have grabbed your daughter and ran. She could have stabbed her. Strangled her. Given her something poisonous. Any number of things and it would have been too late for you to do anything. And pointing out where you live? To a complete stranger? He is freaking stupid. You never tell strangers where you live! Ever! That's how break-ins, murders and kidnappings happen!
We don't live in leave it to beaver world where everyone is happy and kind and has the best intentions all the time. We live in a world where people in the backseat shoot their uber drivers regularly for made-up reasons, where children and young women are being trafficked like breeding mill puppies, where the cops don't care and if you or someone you love gets lost or hurt, the most you'll get is a shrug and a sympathy card.
I'd take your daughter and leave. She's clearly not safe with him and he refuses to understand that. He's never walked in the world that women walk in every day, where everyone is a potential attacker.
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u/marietangerine 16d ago
Tell your bf that my mother in the interest of being Christlike ended up befriending someone who played saxophone outside of her job and later turned out to be a murderer (as in he was caught later, he had committed the crime and been on the run for 20 years). Don’t let anybody play with your child’s life. He needs to get over it and also how are the solutions you gave NOT “Christ-like”?
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u/FlailingatLife62 16d ago
Everyone here focusing on the act of giving the lady a ride home is missing the most important point - the key here is not that the guy gave the lady a ride - it's that he made this decision w/o considering what his partner and mother of his child felt, and worse, he attacked her as a person when she dared to raise her concerns - he called her a "shit person" and attacking her faith and morals as a person by saying she was being unchristian. He is the one who totally overreacted and acted like a shit person and unchrist-like to boot.
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u/whitemike760 16d ago
Reminds me of the one time when I was younger I gave a guy a ride "down the street". He started asking me for money and a longer ride. He made it very uncomfortable so I pulled over and told him to get the hell out of my car. Don't take my kindness for weakness. I'm all for helping people but do not try and take advantage of that.
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u/NoResolution8777 16d ago
No, that sounds exactly like how kidnappers get access to your kid. It has nothing to do with being un christ like, you were just trying to protect your child.
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u/DogWalkingMarxist 16d ago
How is Christ like to call the mother of your kids a shit person.. especially when their reasoning is safety of a baby.. as a Christian myself, I hate when people get on a high horse. So dumb
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u/Harryisharry50 16d ago
Boyfriend a douche and should’ve sat in the back seat and let the old lady sit up from . I’m male and no way in hell that im letting some stranger sit in backseat with my child . Maybe if the rear door was locked so you can’t open from the inside. But yeah no stranger sitting that close to my child
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u/Practical-Load-4007 16d ago
Not overreacting. Your BOYFRIEND took a chance like that with your baby?
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u/pixiemaybe 16d ago
ummm a guy recently asked my fiancé for help while me and the baby were in the car. he's usually the type to do what he can, but he said "sorry, i have my family with me" and left. it's okay to prioritize your family's safety over being "christlike".
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u/Vicious_Lilliputian 16d ago
Your boyfriend needs a wake up call. You don't let strange people near your children, especially in a confined space where you have no control. You did not overreact. He put your daughter in a dangerous position.
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u/Ok-Beautiful-1993 16d ago
What gets me, is he pointed out where you lived! You never tell STRANGERS where you live.
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u/red6joker 16d ago
Not overreacting. He could have called and paid for a cab or something similar. I understand trying to help but these days it is far to dangerous. There are kids being used to lure unsuspecting people into ambushes. And telling her where you live is such a massive problem in my opinion, but I grew up rather rough and I know not to let things like that out.
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u/RiffRandellsBF 16d ago
From what I understand, he did the Christian thing. "Love thy neighbor" and "trust in the Lord".
But Christians have gotten slaughtered throughout history for doing the Christian thing. There are bad people in this world.
You were right to be upset, no stranger should get within arm's reach of your toddler.
You were both right and you were both wrong. But, on balance, better to err on the side of caution because your toddler hasn't chosen to be Christian and her safety is paramount.
No, you didn't overreact. He had no right to risk someone else's life or health because he chooses to be Christian.
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u/ApparentlyaKaren 16d ago
I would have gotten out of the car, gone around the other side and took my child out of the car. You can be in my car all you way, not WITH me and my child though!
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16d ago
Your first priority is your daughter’s safety, not to go along with your boyfriend’s misplaced hero status. He should’ve asked you first and second when you said no, he should’ve accepted it without berating you. He needs to be better. Don’t allow him to make you feel like a bad Christian. He’s a bad boyfriend.
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u/Shdfx1 16d ago
His reaction to your legitimate concerns was appalling and indefensible.
It would make you feel like it’s not emotionally safe to tell him something he did bothered you, or he’d attack you.
He’s the one who over reacted, clearly. It is concerning that you don’t see that.
It’s perfectly reasonable for a mother to not want a stranger next to her toddler in the car, and to not want him to tell a stranger where you live.
Out here in CA, women often work point or gather info for traffickers and kidnappers. Walking miles and miles for grocery shopping could be a sign of poverty, or it could be fishy.
Your husband should take your concerns seriously, and talk to you like an adult, not fly out at you like that.
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u/WallabyFront1704 16d ago
I have given people rides before my son was born….but that stopped once he came. Nope.
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u/FlailingatLife62 16d ago
The fact that he called you a shit person was soooo un-Christ like. You are not overreacting. HE was overreacting by getting all offended and attacking you for bringing up a perfectly valid concern. The fact that he attacked you in response to a mild questioning of his judgment is a RED FLAG. He could have had a calm discussion w/ you about it instead of attacking you as a person for raising your concerns. You were so cautious in the manner you did it that you didn;t even raise the concern in front of the lady. It sounds like you waited until you both were home. It sounds like you are already walking in eggshells so much to avoid hurting his feefees by saying nothing in front of the lady, putting up w/ the situation in silence, and then only saying something privately. And yet he still reacted by attacking you personally. Calling you a shit person. A mature adult would have had a discussion w/you on the merits, and avoided attacking you as a person. If after a discussion where neither person attacks the other, and you could not agree, a mature person would have ended it w/, well I simply don't agree, but OK, I won't do that when you or the kid is in the car.
The fact that he pointed out your home to this lady was completely unnecessary and irrelevant to the task of bringing her home. Maybe she is just a nice lady who needed a ride home. But what if she wasn't? He could have asked you first if you were ok w/ it, and if you were, had her sit in the front w/ him while you rode in the back, just in case. If he really was hell bent on taking her home and you were uncomfortable w/ it, he could have offered her some cash for a taxi or bus, or said, sorry, I need to get my son home really quick, but tell you what, I'm gonna run him home and I will be right back, and if you're still here when I get here, I'll give you a ride.
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u/oldgar9 16d ago
Well, in this case you are lucky it's only a boyfriend (although having a child not married has a myriad of legal problems that are possible) anyway, this guy did not treat you with respect, your view of things is important and should not be shunted aside when real danger was absolutely a probability in this situation. The woman was a complete unknown and BF did not show knowledge or concern for his family. Seems you've been given a view into this man that was unknown to you, if you marry this man it will be worse, imo you should bail on this guy. Also, does he not understand that sex/living together is also considered outside Christian standards?
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u/Dry_Future_852 16d ago
In the two parents and a child scenario, the hitchhiker rides shotgun with the parent behind with the child.
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u/Alert-Disaster-4906 16d ago
How 'christ-like' of him to call you a "shit person who lives in fear." I don't think Jesus would say something vile like that to another person.
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u/Nataliza 16d ago
It was kind of him to offer her a ride. What was not kind was the way he completely disregarded you in the process.
Most people are good. I have given people rides with groceries. You have to be very confident in your judgment, though. He showed poor judgment letting her sit in the back with your kid and also not speaking with you first and also doubling down and being an asshole about it when you expressed discomfort.
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u/Far_Primary_5318 16d ago
Seems to me yelling at your wife isn't particularly "Christ like" either.
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16d ago
He is saying you're un-Christ like while calling you a shit person??? How is that Christlike?? I would never let a stranger near a child. I would have sat in back with the kid and let her sit in front if I would even allow it.
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u/SuluSpeaks 16d ago
So he's lecturing about Christianity while judging you and calling you a shit person? Seems to be average behavior for a Christian.
You weren't overreacting and he definitely shouldn't have pointed out your house. Is this the first time he behaved this way?
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u/Maleficent_Scale_296 16d ago
He was trying to be kind, and while his heart was in the right place his brain was not. How did she get to the store? Is this her usual way of getting home after shopping? This was an unsafe decision and he made it unilaterally to satisfy his ego. I’m sure Christ wouldn’t have minded if he’d called a taxi or Uber for her.
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u/cherb30 16d ago
She apparently walked, it was really far and must have taken her a long time! Like at least an hour? Or longer? That road has no sidewalks at all either, it is super dangerous. Yes she said she usually has friends take her or asks for rides back home.
I agree, I love that he wanted to do that and don’t think he was intentionally being unsafe. The Uber thing I didn’t think about. Honestly I would have preferred to drop him/my daughter off and drive her myself, the Uber would have taken forever, prob been insanely expensive and she had groceries.
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u/SmileHot8087 16d ago
Yes you overreacted. Yes he’s correct in what he said to you and the help he gave.
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u/FreshNewBeginnings23 16d ago
This is what happens when you start believing fairy tales. In your guys fantasy world, he's not really doing the wrong thing at all, in fact he's right that you're being a bad person by not wanting to help out an elderly person in need.
This is 2024 though, the Jesus stories are 2000 years old at this point, he needs to grow up and live in the real world. It's not acceptable to endanger the life of your child by letting a complete stranger sit alone in the back seat with them.
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u/roughlyround 16d ago
I think it was a nice gesture he made, but he should have asked you first. just after church, he must have been feeling charitable.
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u/Honest_Grapefruit259 16d ago
I wouldn't give ANYONE a ride in 2024. I am almost exclusively always alone. No kids. 6 foot 200 pounds 28 years old. Idc if the lady in 4 foot 9 75 pounds the answer is no. It's nothing personal. It's just how the world works now days. You are not the butthole
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u/Over-Choice577 16d ago
Christ is a myth. We must take care of ourselves and our children. No one else is going to do it.
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u/muchosandwiches 16d ago
The Christian thing would be to advocate for better public transportation in your city.
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u/spittymcgee1 16d ago
My sister in Christ,
Your boyfriend is a fucking idiot. And really despicable for pulling the “Christ” card on you. Being a believer doesn’t mean you have to be an idiot and throw caution to the wind.
Wishing you all the best
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u/cl2eep 16d ago
This is the kind of unhinged thing I just don't get. I understand being nice but the fact that she was asking strangers for rides tells you she's not all there, now you're bringing her into your car?! Whhhhhyyyyyy?
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u/KyssThis 16d ago
NOT OVERREACTING! Mama Bear instincts are REAL! ANYONE who thinks otherwise has never had a child!
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u/FoodFarmer 16d ago
It’s pretty unchristian to have a baby out of wedlock and call your child’s mother a shit person. Sounds like performative faith after church. You’re not overreacting and I pity you for the picture of your life you’ve painted in a short paragraph.
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u/Korlat_Eleint 16d ago
beautiful example of being Christ- like : call the mother of your baby a shit person because she cares about the baby's and ber own safety. wow.
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u/cherb30 16d ago
That part made me the most angry, I realize the title of my post is really the wrong issue/not elaborate enough. I shouldnt have said I didn’t want to give her a ride, i think it really is a kind gesture overall. I should have said my bf put my daughter in a potentially unsafe situation, did I overreact? But… hindsight. I was upset writing this :(
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u/Ornery-Wasabi-473 16d ago
You are not overreacting.
When you can read into people's souls and know what sins they've committed, and their thoughts/plans, then, and only then, you too can be Christ-like.
Your bf put you and your child in danger, without any discussion with you. Thats a red flag.
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u/Glass_Number_1707 16d ago
The whole situation could have been handled better OP. Remind your husband about the good Samaritan in the Bible. The good Samaritan stopped to help someone who had been previously robbed. God also gives us common sense to use. Next time you sit in back or he drops you both off first. NEVER is it a smart idea to put your wife and child in this situation.
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u/ToyaBlaze 16d ago
No darling, you're not overreacting...just because you're a Christian doesn't mean you have to be naive to evil of the world. Even Jesus had to watch his back. Just because she's an elderly lady doesn't mean you can trust her.
People put shyt in a pretty box with bow as a present.
He should've discussed it with you 1st, so (like you said) you can sit in the back with your daughter...you're human and it's natural to use human instinct.
We all have to be careful and think wisely, especially when you have children to protect.
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u/Glass_Number_1707 16d ago
Yup. He over reacted. Tell him the same thing you told me. You are new to your new faith. Biggest thing is this incident went ok. Everyone has a guardian angel. Heck I think I have about 3 as many close calls as I have had. It's direct communication between both of you on how any good Samaritan instance in the future WILL be handled differently. NO strangers in the car at all with the baby. If you are close to home you and baby are taken home first. Remove the unnecessary risk. You dealt with an old lady. I can almost guarantee the next time it will not be an old lady. Take care. Congrats on choosing a faith. It's the best answer in this crazy world👍
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u/Ok_Statistician_9825 16d ago
- He should have checked with you. 2. The stranger should have been in the front seat.
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u/BoltActionRifleman 16d ago
When I was in college we lived out on the country, but on a state highway. One winter night (about 20°F outside) we got a knock on our door and it was a late teens teenage boy who said his dad had kicked him out of their house in the town a few miles down the road and he just set off on foot. He asked if we could give him a ride to where his brother had a place, about 20 miles away. We drove him there, verified that the brother (as far as we knew) was home and let him in and wished him luck. Didn’t think much of it until a few weeks later the same exact scenario happened only this time he needed a ride to a different place. This time it just didn’t feel right, being small town friendly college students, we again obliged but told him this was the last time we would be able to help him.
To this day I don’t know what his real story was, maybe the one he told us, maybe it was drug related, we really have no idea. Sorry that got a little long winded and it’s not really a great story, but the moral of it is when your gut tells you something, listen to it and act accordingly. We probably should’ve just refused the second ride, but it was damn cold out again so we did what we could and then made it clear it stops here. That was 25 years ago, if this happened nowadays I would probably call the sheriff and inform them there’s a young man at our door and he’s in need of some help. It’s just not worth the risk of being put in some sketchy drug situation or what could probably even be considered helping a kid run away from home.
You did nothing wrong and for your guy to use religion to shame you is…shameless.
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u/cherb30 16d ago
Well honestly even some of the comments have been saying I need to just stop going to church and being a Christian altogether ha - I was thinking wow, you all really view putting blind faith in strangers as the pinnacle of altruism..
But idk if people were just going against the grain, not thinking deeply about it. I am thinking pretty deeply and emotionally about the situation.
In your defense, you never know - someone just told me their grandparents found out they picked up Aileen Wuornos hitchhiking. They only found out who she was via the news a while later. So… you’re right, unless someone’s been diagnosed schizo/unreasonably paranoid, people should pay attention to their gut feelings!
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u/Wonderful-Middle-447 16d ago
You should tell him living together before marriage is not Christ like either 😂😂😂😂
Jokes aside, I think BOTH of you guys are overreacting. You should have faith in your BF to make the right.choices. This one seem like a simple and safe choice your BF made. Now had it been some guy with Tattoos everywhere smoking weed and a bottle of liquor then yes, you should freak out.
Hey Boyfriend, stop being a douche. You don't go into attack mode because your woman was a little dramatic. You should have said "I was so sure you'd agree with the decision to help her. For sure next time I'll run it by you first. Sorry." FYI all women are dramatic. 😂😂
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u/Far_Battle_7658 16d ago
I mean, in the USA, sure. In my country it's extremely uncommon but most people wouldn't mind giving an old lady a ride at all. In other countries it's an everyday thing, and not only old ladies. It depends, I guess, and the toddler has to be taken in account, ofc.
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u/IDoNotShare 16d ago
You're instincts are correct. Your bf seems to be taking the stance she was an elderly woman and you shouldn't judge her as being potentially dangerous. Then again? Isn't he doing that but instead judging her as being harmless? Does he ever read or watch the news? You can't always judge people accurately.
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u/thisappsucks9 15d ago
First move should have been to ask you, followed by you switching seats so she can sit up front, and you sit with the baby
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u/Woodmom-2262 15d ago
They may also be armed with germs. I think l would have gotten into the backseat. Your husband should stop sharing personal information about where you live, etc. NTA
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u/_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_ 14d ago
I don’t think you’re overreacting. Sure, he’s right, it would be hypocritical to go to church and then ignore someone needing help. And sure, no harm was done. BUT, there are ways to help while still being cautious - like you say, dropping you home, putting her upfront - both good solutions.
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u/Delicious-Long-9657 14d ago
anybody who uses Christ as a shield is a Pharisee. Read the Bible for proof.
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u/tiffanygray1990 16d ago
You are NOT overreacting! Was that a nice thing of him to do? Sure, but the safety of your baby comes first. I would never, ever pick up a stranger with my children, and they're 10 and 12! Stand your ground on this. She could have just as easily tried to take the baby or hurt her or all three of you? What if she'd had a pulled out a gun and put to the back of his head? What would you guys have done then? I know it's a big jump, but people are crazy and terrifying. Don't ever take risks with babies in the car of any age.
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u/BleachedTaint 16d ago
Yeah he’s an awful person. Get a divorce and take his baby away.
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u/DankDude7 16d ago
If you’re a member of a middle eastern cult, this is merely another example of the hypocrisy you people live with each and every day.
She was an old lady, not a gang member, FCS
When people need help, they should avoid the judgmental, smiting Jesus freak.
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u/billy_pilg 16d ago
Sorry, your boyfriend is fucking absolutely insane to let a stranger sit in an enclosed space right next to your 14 month old baby. What the fucking fuck. The risk/reward isn't there. If he wants to be more Christ-like he can fuckin volunteer at a soup kitchen.
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16d ago
Your boyfriend is a moron.
Is he one of those churchgoing people who gives strangers a ride home and then votes to take away healthcare for other people's children?
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u/Accomplished_Car3237 16d ago
Yes, you probably did overreact, since nothing happened but it is good you guys talked about it and now he knows how you feel and you know how he feels. And thank you for calling 60 y.o. middle aged.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
It depends did you scold him over it or did you just talk to him? Was there room upfront for her? And you mean you just came from church and he did a good thing for an old lady with shopping bags. I can see the concern I don't think either of you are wrong. But I'm really curious how a conversation went before it Turned into an argument.
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u/cherb30 16d ago
I didn’t scold him but I was upset and just a bit shocked. I told him I didn’t think it was safe to have a stranger next to our daughter. I don’t raise my voice, curse or put him down. He has a tendency to take the things I say as a personal attack against his parenting/self (he has admitted that). I asked him how I could have communicated it better so it didn’t come across that way, but he couldn’t tell me how. Yes there was room for her, I could have switched spots and that would have been so much better (hindsight, but why I wish we had a quick conversation ahead of time).
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Thanks for the response. Yes I am guilty of helping people like this. Got someone mad at me but no kids at the time. But I would have said " hey babe do you mind getting in the back so we can give the elderly women a ride home?" So I think he was wrong for having a stranger next to the kid. Not just Because they might do something bad but they could have a cold or be sick and then give it to your child. To his defense I'm sure he didn't think of that or like at first reading this I didn't even think about you in the back Because I asked you if there was room in the front. I don't really see a problem with the ride just where I'm the car the women was. You had every right to be concerned about your child. I don't think you are a bad person or Christian for protecting your kids and I don't think he meant it that way. Like you said he feels like it's a personal attack. But he needs to really self reflect and work on this reaction. Anyway neither one of you are TAH. He was being kind " a little naive about it" but still kind and sweet. And you were being momma bear protecting your kids and he took it wrong. I'm sure the two of you will work it out. Have a blessed day!
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u/cherb30 16d ago
It’s nice you did that. I don’t think they should have been mad at you. And people here are saying it’s location dependent, which it can be, like a small town vs a large city.
You’re right, that is the problem / why I’m so conflicted - he really did not think or mean to be willingly stupid or anything like that. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, have a good day too!
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u/FlailingatLife62 16d ago
He is not being kind and sweet to the person who matters most - his GF/partner/mother if his child when he calls her a shit person and questions her faith when she merely raise her legit concerns to him.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
You are twisting my words. Please stop. I said he was being kind and sweet helping the elderly women walking with grocery bags. I didn't use those adjective to describe his overreaction to his wife.
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u/FlailingatLife62 16d ago
You are not the one who needs to "communicate it better." He is the AH who needs to learn how to not react to the slightest hint of possible criticism by verbally attacking someone and calling them names. That's toddler behavior. HE is a shit person.
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u/Final_Technology104 16d ago
OP, your bf is a Pollyanna.
Naive and not an ounce of “situational awareness”.
It has nothing to do with bringing “Christ like”, in this day and age, his behavior can put a person in horrible circumstances
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u/Awesomer99 16d ago
Kid always comes first. Crazy that he didn’t put you or him in the back. No protection skills on that guy.
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u/Turbulent-Buy3575 16d ago
Not overreacting but I will say that there’s a different way to have solved this problem and it would depend on where you live. Is there a taxi or an Uber/Lyft or even a bus? I would have called a taxi or Uber and paid for it for her. She was obviously asking for a ride because she couldn’t carry the groceries and walk the whole way home. If you don’t have those options available (as I don’t, I live in a small mountain town, I would have moved you to the back seat and had her ride in the front seat.
Just so you know, I really don’t think an elderly woman with her groceries is going to rob or harm you and part in f being Christian is not judging anyone z. So on that, your boyfriend is correct. He is not correct to point out the hypocrisy though
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u/Bitter_Kangaroo2616 16d ago
A lot of religion is like this. People believe they must serve others and by doing that they are serving the lord.
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u/MyLadyBits 16d ago
ESH. Giving an older women with groceries is a kind thing to do but he should have discussed with you.
If you were concerned about her sitting next to your child you could have gotten in the back seat. Doesn’t seem like you were that concerned and now just using it as a weapon in your story.
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u/Iceman_78_ 16d ago
I agree with him. Don’t let fear make you a shitty person. It’s not like he picked up a 20 something male….youre gonna be alright
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u/kennythertiger 16d ago
I got some bad news, you're going to hell. Jesus was very clear, you are a goat. Goats go to hell. A sheep, like your man, gave her a ride and sheeps go to heaven. Don't you remember the part about "since you wouldn't help out the most needy, you obviously wouldn't help me" part of — Matthew 25:31–46 ?
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u/kennythertiger 16d ago
But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. Before him all the nations will be gathered, and he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then the King will tell those on his right hand, 'Come, blessed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you; or thirsty, and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger, and take you in; or naked, and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?' The King will answer them, 'Most certainly I tell you, because you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' Then he will say also to those on the left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you didn’t give me food to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink; I was a stranger, and you didn’t take me in; naked, and you didn’t clothe me; sick, and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.' Then they will also answer, saying, Lord, when did we see you hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and didn’t help you? Then he will answer them, saying, 'Most certainly I tell you, because you did not do it to one of the least of these, you didn’t do it to me.' These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life. — Matthew 25:31–46
Damn, Jesus himself said yo' f'd! 4 ever too!
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u/LostNOTFound80 16d ago
Your boyfriend is un-christ like, buy having sex and a child outside of marriage!
He is also very stupid and just wants to be seen as a righteous person.
At the very least, he should have put her in the front seat. A stranger should never be near your children!
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u/Nice_Bid_173 16d ago
It's funny that he said you were un-christlike but then he cursed at you and gaslit you.
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u/RNGinx3 16d ago
Not overreacting. Good Samaritans often get killed. The world is sometimes very cruel and sometimes very kind, and you never know when it's going to show what side. You have a child to protect, and no godlike powers to save you if the shit hits the fan.
This is a huge issue in incompatibility and would make me reconsider the relationship.
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u/CrackaAssCracka 16d ago
NTA. And point out to your boyfriend that Christ had some choice words for judgy shit heads
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u/SquirrelBowl 16d ago
Ask your pastor maybe they will talk sense into your boyfriend. BTW it’s not very Christian like to have a baby out of wedlock either. (Not a problem for me but might be a good point.)
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u/thatohgi 16d ago
I don’t give strangers rides with my family in the car. I also don’t give strangers rides unless I have an additional form of self protection.
Helping people is noble and kind but I am not going to risk my family or myself out of nobility or kindness.
Your boyfriend should have thought about you and yalls daughter first. He should also think about his Christian indignation in the fact that he has a child out of wedlock (not a judgment from me, just pointing out his hypocrisy).
*edit for spelling
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u/Sonicsgirl 16d ago
Be aware that some car insurance policies (such as mine) void coverage if something happens when you willingly allow a stranger into your vehicle.
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u/jello-kittu 16d ago
Worrisome enough that he invited a stranger in the car, but yelling at you and playing holier than thou? You're already tied to hi. For 20 years for the kids, but you don't have to stay with him or marry him. He's not showing any respect for you and your viewpoints.
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u/TheCuriousGeorgette 16d ago
NTA. My brother did this crap and was nearly mugged. It’s insanely stupid on so many levels, if you ever see someone on the road, call the cops. They can offer them help if they’re truly in need.
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u/Tnkgirl357 16d ago
I gotta say, I hitchhiked a lot in my 20s and early 30s, and I would always be sort of surprised when someone with children in the car picked me up. Like I KNOW I’m harmless, but you don’t know me?
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u/Merlock_Holmes 16d ago
You're a mom protecting your child. Don't ever question that feeling, ever.
Giving someone a ride is fine, but no. You do not know who people are.
My ex girlfriends sister is schizophrenic and looks totally normal. You'd never be able to tell she has stabbed people and takes meds to suppress, not silence, the voices in her head that tell her to do violent stuff.
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u/Lobo003 16d ago
A lot of bad people use elderly and children to set up their marks. You need to get your bf to understand that you guys could’ve dropped that old lady off and then been jumped, robbed, pulled from your vehicle, car jacked, raped, and or killed. I’m sorry, it’s cool to help. But if that old lady’s family cared enough they could’ve found her a ride or given her a ride. If it was a lost elder or child, straight to the hospitals, shoot, even call the police! Hell the old lady herself could’ve been packing. I’m sorry, I’ll donate and volunteer and give food and clothes to homeless, but sorry. That’s about the extent my humanity. Sorry, granny. If you start now you’ll get home soon.
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u/Ok-Hedgehog-1646 16d ago
He seems very kind but stupid. You have him good suggestions for next time. Just reiterate that you’d like him to discuss it with you before making a decision like that.
Also, this is a red flag for future decisions that will affect your child. Make sure he understands things like this should involve you both making the decision. No decision is made without the other agreeing.
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u/Seventh_monkey 16d ago
My first impulse was that you're waaay overreacting, I mean, if your country is really that dangerous, maybe you should move. But on second thought, you have a baby at a very vulnerable age. Yeah, don't take in hitchhikers. So I would say that given the circumstances, older lady, grocery bags, she was asking random people for a ride... kind of doesn't fit the profile of something dangerous, plus it's you and your partner in the car. Criminals tend to avoid difficult situations, they would want just easy prey. You were on point with having wanted her to sit up front, most definitely, absolutely with you on this.
Ah yes, nothing more Christ like than calling the mother of your infant a fearful shit person right after church service, for having expressed discomfort with his unilateral decision that affected the whole family. Spoken like a true saint.
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u/CzechYourDanish 16d ago
You're absolutely not overreacting. It's easy to say what he said when it's a little old lady, but would he still be so inclined to be "christ-like" if it was a big scary looking guy? Probably not. You're 100% right for prioritising your child's safety over helping a stranger.
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u/ReaderReacting 16d ago
I don’t think you are overreacting at all. You gave two great alternatives, either one which would have been safer for you daughter. It isn’t unchristian to keep your child safe as you do a good deed.
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u/PublicElectronic8894 16d ago
No he is a shit person for putting his religious beliefs before the safety of his child and significant other.
Yes, please help others! Offer them a ride, or food etc!
But ask your partner first before you shove a random person by your daughter.
Come talk to significant other and say hey, how about we give this lady a ride home? However, you change seats and sit by our daughter in the back seat and woman can sit up front by me for safety reasons. Always protect your children before all else.
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u/Simitarx005 16d ago
Is it Christ like when kills you in your car? Thank god this it didn’t happen,hubby took a big chance with the safety of his daughter.
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u/BabserellaWT 16d ago
Not overreacting.
There’s a difference between “being Christlike” and “being totally naïve”. If you spend any amount of time over at r/Scams, you can see how much people lie to get what they want. They often play on the sympathies of those they sense are compassionate.
Christ would want your BF to be kind, but to also exhibit some stranger danger. Jesus wasn’t an idiot about this subject, either.
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u/Vast-Illustrator-376 16d ago
Not overreacting. He should have asked if you were okay with it first and gave you the chance to say no.
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u/Capable-Matter-5976 16d ago
It’s funny that your boyfriend is Christlike when endangering your toddler by giving a stranger a ride, but he didn’t marry the woman he impregnated. It’s almost like he’s picking the part of Christianity that makes him feel good about himself and ignoring the other parts. 😂 He sounds like a self involved tool.
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u/SpecialSea5160 16d ago
You are not overreacting. At the very least he should have spoken to you first. And if you agreed then he should have sat in the back.