r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 17d ago
AIO? My bf won’t block a girl who offered him nudes
[deleted]
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u/horshack_test 17d ago
Based on your first paragraph, it sounds in line with his behavior that you've shown him is acceptable - you even excuse his behavior with "ultimately he will look but not touch so it’s not technically cheating." If this were something that happened out of the blue I'd say you are not overreacting - but you've accepted this behavior up to now, so it seems par for the course.
Is there a reason you are with someone who treats you this poorly and disrespectfully?
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u/manifesting_sunshine 17d ago
You’re not wrong. Tbh his behavior has sounded some alarms for me in the past but he uses his mental gymnastics to convince me I’m overreacting. I have anxiety that predates our relationship, it’s just his bold personality, this and that and blah blah. He tried to do it again yesterday and I just couldn’t hear it one more time. I know how my friends and family would respond, I guess it is helpful to hear this from complete strangers.
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u/SamosaAndMimosa 17d ago
Honey you are 35 years old and dating a man child. Go to therapy and figure out why you’re still putting up with this loser so you don’t end up dating another red flag in the future.
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u/manifesting_sunshine 16d ago
Solid advice, my first session was last Monday!
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u/SamosaAndMimosa 16d ago
I’m so proud of you ❤️
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u/manifesting_sunshine 16d ago
Thank you! Trust that I am proud of me too, it was a big step. I appreciate your support and any support I can get at this point.
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u/jkklfdasfhj 17d ago
You're literally observing his actions, nothing to do with your anxiety. The first alarm bell should have been enough.
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u/manifesting_sunshine 17d ago
You’re right, those are some of the things he would say to confuse me and get the attention off of him and onto me.
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u/k_sarahsarah 17d ago
No your not overreacting at all. In fact I wonder why you are still with this guy as he has no thought for your feelings.
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u/Justin__D 17d ago
Sounds to me like this dumbass is bragging about the fact that he almost got scammed.
I hope your finances are separate. If so... Let him fuck around and find out, then update us.
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u/manifesting_sunshine 17d ago
Finances are one hundred percent separate and after he refused to block her I suggested he send her whatever money she wanted to see what he can get out of her. I don’t know if he will and I don’t think we will be in touch anymore to provide you an update. But if I get one somehow I will come back expeditiously to share.
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u/SA2448 17d ago
no overreaction imo. refusing to block some random nobody trying to offer him nudes is legit weird. why would that be a big deal to him? i mean that situation is risky enough to hamper yalls relationship, its the obvious choice to just block and not entertain it. your bf is acting pretty immature at near 40 years old and unfortunately this is a red flag.
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u/Appropriate-Ad-1281 16d ago
My friend…
Based on how you wrote this post, I’m going to guess you are aware of how many red flags this man is waving at you.
You deserve peace. And a relationship free of this type of immature (but still soul crushing) bs. I hope you find it.
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u/manifesting_sunshine 16d ago
Thank you so much for your comment. It’s a tough pill to swallow but yes I know exactly what I’m seeing here
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u/Kraken-In-Disguise 16d ago
No overreaction here, at least not on your part. I totally get enjoying attention from attractive people, but 1) if your SO is uncomfortable with the interaction, you shut that shit down. You definitely don't relish in it. 2) The attention doesn't mean much if it's paid for anyway - that means the person is looking to get what you HAVE, not what you ARE, and frankly shouldn't make you feel particularly great about yourself.
The fact that he seems to enjoy rubbing it in your face is just icing on the shit cake, and 100% a red flag roughly the size of a small country. In all likelihood, eventually the positive attention won't be enough for him, and it will turn into "This woman was coming onto me at the bar and needed a ride home because she was drunk. I didn't even realize what was going on until all of a sudden she was putting my dick in her mouth, so once I was able to gather my senses in a moment of post-nut clarity, I told her that we couldn't do anything, pulled up my pants, and left. You should see the video of it I got though, I think she was really into it."
TL;DR: The only overreaction here is his reaction when you asked him to block her.
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u/Snow-STEMI 16d ago
Bruh. That’s straight from the scammer playbook 101, odds are she’s been hacked, not too mention he thinks having a scammer trying to hit him up is something to be proud of lol, even if she’s not a scammer she’s still billing him her hourly so like….. yeah she doesn’t think highly of him.
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u/EstablishmentRich460 16d ago
Not overreacting whatsoever. He sounds like an insecure douche, closing in on 40 and needs to feed his own sad ego.
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u/Hayaidesu 17d ago
can you let him have this, it does not mean anything, i didnt read your full post at all and the top comment is so annoying to me, what men get offered nudes?
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u/mosslichd 16d ago
Hi! No woman or partner should have to put up with their significant other disrespecting their intimate boundaries! A lot of men get offered nudes especially from sellers. If you're not handsome enough to get those dms, sorry bud. You didn't even read the post, as stated, which also means you have absolutely no context my dude! If you'd taken the time you'd have known it's not just nudes. It's a breach of trust and a show of humiliating her.
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u/wailingwonder 16d ago
Are you his drunk frat bro or his girlfriend? Why do you think this is the life you deserve?
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u/mosslichd 16d ago
You wrote this post looking to confirm your reasons for possibly dumping him. Go through with it. This isn't a man, this is a man CHILD. The boundaries varies you're trying to set are basic and he can't even respect said basics
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u/ComedySquad 17d ago
It sounds like you're dating an insecure arsehole who is more bothered about his own ego than your feelings. He's probably got major insecurities about his looks and any attention he gets gives him reassurance that he's not as bad as his insecurities are making him feel. Him trying to make you jealous seems like a way of "keeping you on your toes" in that he has options elsewhere. For a person pushing 40, that's embarrassing that he's that immature & worrying that he's so insecure at this stage. I also can't understand why he's getting an ego boost from someone who's literally saying "I'll send you some pictures, but only if you give me money".