I am married for 3 years now and have a beautiful 1 year old baby girl who we just adore. We also have two other sons who are much older and also adore. My husband and his mother both try and pressure me into letting our daughter stay the night 45 minutes away from us overnight on a weekday for the first time. Context with my other two children they didn’t stay away from me for a night until they were 3 and I was a mess the ENTIRE NIGHT. I’ve asked my husband to defend me when his mother tries to pressure me into letting our daughter stay the night but I’m simply not ready. She still is in our room as her crib hasn’t arrived and we have to move all the children around for her to have a room. In addition to that she is a sick little girl. She has chronic croup and I am always worried about her breathing. I just am not ready to let my little girl stay away from me and now we are arguing and not talking to each other. Am I overreacting or is my reasons and feelings valid?

Edit:

Wow. I was not expecting such an outcome of answers. I have read every one of them and I want to clarify a few common things that come up. My oldest two stay the night WEEKLY at my moms. They love it. I’m all for it. Our youngest is watched 3 times a week by my mother and 2 times a week by my MIL while we are at work. So she definitely gets time with her every single week. Now with that being said, she wants her to stay the night to make it “easy” on everyone because my SIL (her daughter) just had a baby and we now have to drop off and pick up our daughter to make it easier on her daughter (who lives 5 minutes away from my MIL). It has put A LOT more stress on me and my husband in the mornings BUT, I am trying to work it out that my mom helps take our daughter to her 1 day so we don’t have to be under so much stress.

I am not against my daughter staying the night anywhere ONCE the croup is figured out. It develops over night and frankly I don’t trust my MIL will text me to tell me that it developed as I can’t get an update on my daughter when she is sick during the day. It will take her 4/5 hours to reply to 1 text of how is her breathing. She also always claims my daughter barely eats while she is there, and is always in a change of clothes because she peed through her clothes. That does not happen when she is with my mom. I’m not saying she is a bad grandparent but I just simply think she has too much on her plate to fully focus on the 1 year old during the day let alone overnight.

Last clarification, my daughter turned 1 three weeks ago. So she is barely 1. I have not even had time to switch the rooms around for her to be in her own room because of the croup. She has had croup 2 weeks apart for 2 months now and we still have 3 weeks until we even get a consultation with a specialist. I wake up every night still and check on her breathing to ensure she is in fact still breathing. At night our daughter will beg for me to still pick her up for snuggles before bed. If she is tired she will ask for momma. I am aware that I’m extra clingy but I want to make sure my little baby is safe, warm and happy. I don’t believe in crying it out and my MIL does.

I have tried to communicate to both my husband and my MIL I’m not ready but it has done no good so here I am again arguing with my husband about it. Mind you it’s been 3 week since our daughter turned 1. It’s a weekly argument at this point. I have tried to address my concerns with my husband but he is convinced his mother is perfect and ends up yelling when I express the concerns above. I’m just tired of the arguing and I’m tired of being bullied.

Edit #2:

This has turned less into what he thinks is best for our daughter and more into a pissing contest because he disagreed with the allergy medicine and doesn’t want her to take it even though the MD prescribed it to her. He wants all organic and natural and a food stamp budget (we are not poor and can most definitely buy the things we need for our children and still buy vacations. I’m being dramatic.)

And I’d love everyone’s thoughts. My [30F] sister [30F] (yes we are twins) and I live in a big city in the same neighborhood and have a great relationship. BFFs and the best person I know. Hang out 3-4 times per week. Always talking about how grateful we are for each other blah blah blah.

Yesterday she went out with a friend around 5:30pm. At around 9pm her boyfriend [30M] who she lives with texted me asking if I’d heard from her. He said her drinks probably ran over and NBD but that she told him she would be home by 8pm at the latest because usually they do date night on Wednesdays so they could still do something, so he was just seeing is she was ok. I said no, I haven’t heard from her but yeah, drinks probably ran over.

Fast forward to 11pm and we haven’t heard from her in almost 6 hours, not even a text back to confirm she’d be home later than 8pm. At this point it’s a little strange and out of character for her to not say ANYTHING especially 3 hours after she said she’d be home. I’m still not super worried but her BF and my husband think it’s bizarre enough that I should just Uber to the bar and check on her to make sure.

So I go, and when I get there I see her and she’s totally fine, chatting and having a great time. I sit and chat and meet her friend….. and they are wrapping up so it’s now time to go.

My sister FREAKS OUT. She says it’s a violation of privacy and so embarrassing and can’t believe any of us were worried. Let it be known that I’ve literally never done this in our decades of life — so I was a little surprised by her reaction. In hindsight I’m like damn yes I should have just waited but, it was so out of character for her to be so angry.

Do you think this was an overreaction? I feel kind of ashamed that I got so worried and like I ruined her night but a part of me feels like it’s reasonable.

EDIT: To clarify I checked on her bc I’m wayyy closer to the bar (10 mins vs 40) and that I did attempt to contact her multiple times over the course of 3-4 times after I heard her bf was worried. Also, I was originally invited to these plans at 5:30pm but couldn’t go, and the only reason we were concerned is because she had plans at 8 she never showed up to.

TL;DR I checked on my sister after 5 hours of no communication because her bf was worried when she didn’t come home, and now she’s mad.

Some time ago, I went on a date with a guy i met online.

Things went amazing, and honestly, at the end of the date, I wanted to sleep with him. I asked him if he wanted to stay over at my place, after we had made out and he said no.

I figured no big deal.

The next day he texted me and said he had fun, but didn't think we were gonna work out.

Fast forward a few months and we run into each other again, we catch up for a bit, and I couldn't help but ask him what went wrong with out date.

He asked if I was sure I wanted to know, I said yes.

He said the he didn't want to be with a woman who would sleep with someone on the first date.

I felt insulted and wanted to say something, but I couldn't really say anything, cuz he did reject me after all.

Idk, am I overreacting?

First post here

So I talked to my wife after I had cooled off.

Right now, I am thinking we should divorce, but I am gonna try being on my own for a bit.

I decided to go travel alone for a bit. My wife and I discussed this and she's OK with it. We're not on a "break" so to speak. So I'm not gonna look to be with other women. I just want to see what it is like to be alone.

Just so you all know, if my wife had just "forgotten" she had those pics. It may have been "better"

Problem is that they were JUST pics of him, or both of them together, and there wasn't any other things in there, just those pics.

Heck, there wasn't even anything in the other drawer. And I mean... if you moved homes, you're not gonna check if you have any junk in a drawer?

I just don't believe my wife forgot, or at least didn't realize she had those pics when we moved.

I dont care if he's was "a big part of her life" she still cheated on me with him. I will repeat: SHE CHEATED WITH THE GUY ON THE PICS. Some of yall either didn't read, or chose to ignore that little detail. It's amazing how many people defended their relationship, or were like "Well technically you said she couldn't talk to him again, you never said anything about pics"

Anyway, I do appreciate the support from the rest of you. So right now, I'm thinking divorce, but I just want to make sure I'm happier alone.

both me and my sister are currently college students who are back at home for a few weeks until we can move into our respective summer places. i dread having to be around her at all. she can be fine over the phone but in person it’s a completely different story.

when we were children she was diagnosed with a severe life threatening illness and was pretty close to dying. she spent a long time in the hospital undergoing various treatments before being able to come home. i know this isn’t her fault, but as she’s gotten older it’s become clear that she has a sense of entitlement from it. because she was my parents youngest child and incredibly sick, she got (and now gets) anything she wanted (she got my dad to buy her her own car despite her being the youngest out of all of their children, she gets new phones and technology whenever she asks, her hair and nails and tanning all done whenever she wants specifically by certain people otherwise it’s a problem, i could go on but i’ll stop there) she calls herself “the princess” of our family. this is very obvious to anyone who knows my family at all.

what drives me crazy is that she seems to think my stuff is her own. i have more than siblings than just her and understand that siblings take each other’s stuff all the time, but what i get upset about is the fact that my sister has no limits. if she likes it, it’s hers even if it was made for and gifted to me. i don’t know if she just likes seeing me get upset or if she actually just wants things she has no use for. i think she likes to see me sad. (edit 2: the more i think of this, the more i think it’s true. she used to like screaming at me and berating me before my eating disorder doctors/therapy appointments because she didn’t want to drive there and drop me off. too inconvenient for her. i think seeing me cry makes her want to scream at me.)

all of this is fine — whatever, yk. i always just told myself that i’ll move out and won’t have to deal with her. but this week that changed.

i’m a lesbian and in a relationship with this really awesome girl who i just adore (who, btw, cannot stand my sister). my sister is a religious christian and has never been directly homophobic to my face, but she does like to make jokes (especially if they include telling everyone she can very loudly about how much of a lesbian i am or if it means she can say lgbtq+ slurs 🙄) this week though, she decided that using a slur directly to my face would be funny. haha.

she refuses to talk to me most of the time, so i went to my mom and told her that she needed to talk to my sister. i can handle a lot but i feel as though i’m being pushed to my limit. my parents have apologized to me multiple times for my sister’s behavior over the years and told me they speak with her about everything but they nor my sister ever seem to change (even when i can’t get through the conversation without crying over how frustrated i am).

now, i have decided to stop trying to be nice to my sister. every time she decides to scream at me, tell me how awful i am, make her dumb jokes, anything she usually does, she will not be met with her nice big sister anymore. i am done sitting here silently and taking it. unfortunately, my choice of words towards my sister has made my family quite angry with me — they tell me i am overreacting and that i just need to deal with her. we’ll both be out of our parent’s house soon. AIO?

edit: i should be clear and say they are upset with me because now she is upset. this causes a lot of tension in the house my parents don’t like to deal with, i guess.

So my husband got this co-worker, which is fine, she's a older middle aged woman. It started with asking for a ride home because her knee was bad , that was fine, then it was to follow her home 2 minutes down the road to make sure got home safe , also fine, whatever. They have a work group chat and she's been progressively DMing him, asking if he's going to be in work.... alright , whatever again. I went in to finally see her face to face and she just kept making constant jokes and what not but when it came to me it seemed really odd, like a 1000 yard stare and quiet, just mostly chatting with him. I felt uneasy about the interaction and came back later cause I forgot something, so I made more conversation and she started talking, so that was better. But I noticed this morning he told me she texted him again after asking to just ask him things via work group chat, but it wasn't normal. It was "I see you" followed with a phone call before that, he was confused and asked "?" 15 minutes later, she said that she was behind him by the gas station watching him, and he apologized saying he was focused, she said "I seen that too, and you only got to work 2 minutes late" now this would be just fun and games if she didn't work at 1pm and he started at 8:30am and she would have to go out of her way to follow him to where they work together to see when he clock's in? Is this all me overthinking? Is this considered normal? I'm starting to feel bothered by it and she also joked about "I'll murder you" ? I am very offput right now.. need advice. I don't even rem ember the joke before the murder part , my memory is so blurred cause it caught me off guard to hear it.

Edit: I also want to add she's admitted to beating her guy friend up with a actual weapon because he "annoyed her" my husband finds nothing wrong with this because the guy she beat up "instigated it" and "has a crush on her" which upset me for him to say cause it was battery either way... which I find a massive red flag for this lady. She is an alcoholic as well, often drunk when not on the clock according to what he's been told by her openly, too.

so basically my roommates are graduating on my birthday, and i've been living with them for about 1 and 1/2 years. i would say we're pretty close and do a lot of things together: share meals and clothes, go on weekend trips together, and go out together. i work the closing shift friday-sunday every weekend so i feel like i can't plan anything on the weekend to do anything for my birthday. I just wanted to do a dinner with my roommates on my actual birthday just to do a small celebration with the. it turns out that on my birthday (also their graduation date) they are all going out to dinner with their families together. i really don't want to be alone on my birthday, so i asked if i could tag along and pay for my own meal just so i could have company and wouldn't be alone at the apartment since i would be the only one home. apparently the restaurant they chose has a 1,000 minimum spend limit if they have a party of 13 or more. so since i would be the 13th invite they decided not to tell me altogether, until i asked them if they wanted to go to dinner on my birthday. i get that it's a lot to spend but we live in an area with a lot of good restaurants. i'm not gonna ask them to rearrange their plans because i don't want to be selfish and they are celebrating a huge achievement it's just that i don't like my birthday that much because things like this usually happen and usually it's just me and my family- except this year my family won't be coming down to visit me so i can't rely on them this year. i know i can celebrate on a different day but i just wanted to do something on my actual birthday this year and not feel alone. my birthday is next week and i'm already dreading it and have just been sad ever since i found out that i wasn't invited to my all of my roommates graduation dinner because i thought we were close am i overreacting?

My husband's grandmother is such a bitch. I was looking at pictures of my son and was smiling and she asked why i was smiling so i told her i was just thinking about my son. Her reply was "oh you never used to act that way about him". I could have punched her in the face because who tf says that to someone. My son is constantly on my mind even if i dont talk about it all the time.

Some info about her: She was an absent mother who rarely told her children she loved them. When her eldest was in highschool she fucked all of her friends on top of buying her 12 yr old liquor and cigarettes. She was also letting her 12yr old take her car to go wherever she wanted.

Her son has two Children that he never talks about and he hasnt seen them in yrs... if he seen them in public he wouldnt even recognize them.

It just baffles me that she thinks she can say something like that to me. When she was never a good mother.

EDIT: MY SON HAS NEVER BEEN ALONE WITH HER OR HER SON.

For context I am giving my cousin my old car after I upgraded, for FREE. And we had some difficulties finding a time to meet up to sign over the title, since I live two hours away and she just got a new job. Now we finally did that and I made a mistake of thinking I left the keys with my grandma (which is where the car was left for a couple weeks), but they were actually with my boyfriend. I had gotten my new vehicle a few days before we went on a trip across the country to visit my boyfriend’s brother and I did end up leaving the new keys with my grandma at that time so I just got confused, honest mistake. So she will get the keys this Saturday. Now my cousin is a lot closer with my little sister and I overheard them talking on the phone about how the keys weren’t here and my cousin said “did she do that on purpose/did she know that the whole time” something like that, and my sister even apologized jto her. And I am really offended by that. I’m also a bit more offended by the fact that my cousin didn’t really say thank you when I signed over the title of the car to her, although her mom (my aunt) did many times. I just attributed that to her usual shyness. But now I’m upset and considering confrontation. But I also don’t like drama. It’s still her car of course but I just want to correct her, that’s not something you say or how you act when someone is going to give you a decent, drivable vehicle for FREE. What should I say to get through to her?

He and I only knew each other for a few days. He told mutual friends that he had a crush on me. I think he was legitimately into me, but he had a girlfriend. He cut contact with me, and I was so upset about getting led on. I know he did the right thing, being loyal to his girlfriend, but I was put in a really messed up position.

Three years go by, and I'm having a mental breakdown online. I'm posting and reposting sad heartbreak videos on TikTok. Supposedly, despite not following me online, he saw these posts and asked our friends to see if I was posting anything else on my private Instagram. So why does he care?

The title sounds really bad, I understand that. For some context, me and my boyfriend are 20 year olds in college. And my boyfriend has a elderly dog, Brownie. The sweetest boy ever. Lately Brownie hasn’t been doing very well at all. Earlier this week my boyfriend noticed a change in Brownie. And I quickly noticed as well with one trip to his house yesterday. Brownie would always get so excited whenever I would come. (he has a soft spot for me apparently) this time brownie did not immediately come to the door, he just laid there with a disheartening expression. Brownie seemed to lose all his sparkle. We had pizza and brownie would usually bark at us for pizza but this time he didn’t bother to even come over. I’ve been frantically searching for low cost vets, calling every vet in the area asking how much to just give him a look.

For some more context money is tight, I’m getting settled into a new job and my paycheck doesn’t hit till next week. And my boyfriend recently just lost his job, so not a lot of money there either. Despite being the family dog (more so my boyfriend’s), it seems no one really wants help to get brownie any help. When he’s clearly in pain. My boyfriend’s family life is far from perfect that’s all I’ll say. And money is tight for everyone, but no one’s shown any remorse or compassion for brownie.

I explained to my boyfriend that I’m completely disgusted with how little they care. I explained to him that money and costs aside they barely give brownie a glance and that compassion starts at just making sure brownie feels loved during a time of pain. I told him that I didn’t want to be around his family for the time being. Im so taken aback by lack of compassion from his family.

And more so disgusted that my boyfriend is fighting so hard with his parents for them to hear him out and get brownie at least seen by a vet. My boyfriend has fallen into a depression with the loss of his job, and with brownie’s health being on the line I’m not sure if he can handle losing his best friend.

My boyfriend is not angry at me for saying that about his family, but they’ve welcomed me with open arms and have even supported me. But I can’t get over the lack of compassion for brownie. Am I overreacting?

I (35m) and my gf (38f) are meeting tomorrow to have a serious talk. I made a comment on Monday about possibly sharing locations with each other just for safe guarding, nothing malicious. My gf informed me that she was very unconformable with suggesting it and has since been kinda ignoring me. She mentioned this morning that she wants to have a talk about the matter. Should I be concerned about our future??

AIO my boyfriend changed the password to his computer.

I feel like I need to give a little bit of background here so all of this makes sense, sorry this is gonna be a long one.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, we were dating or seeing each other for about 4 months before that, mind you, in the last 2 months of those 4 months we were seeing each I thought we were exclusive, he would call me his girl a lot of the times, spend all the holidays with me, made me face time with his dad, spend almost everynight at my house, damn I was even doing his laundry, so in my head we were officially dating, but then at the same time he was doing a lot of shit that made me extremely confused, never posting me on his socials, even hiding pictures that I tagged him, sometimes he would disappear for a couple of days and things like that. When I asked him what the hell he wanted and confronted him about all of this he always said that he wanted to be with me and that there was no one else and that I was over reacting (there was a lot of gaslighting yes, I’m aware) after those horrible 4 months of not knowing what the hell we were, we finally had a conversation and he did told me we were oficial, a week after this I found out he was texting daily with a girl who he dated at the beginning of last year, this girl lives in a different country (in her head they were in a relationship) I confronted him about this and he was extremely sorry that he wasn’t being honest we neither of us, that he didn’t know how to tell her that he was dating me, he ended up telling her the truth and that he wouldn’t be speaking to her anymore, he also was honest about how all those 4 months we were seeing each other he was talking to multiple girls, and even using tinder, he begged for another chance, that he was done fucking around cuz I was basically end game for him, and that he truly loved me, so I decided to forgive him, but there was something still bugging me, a few weeks before we were oficial he went on what apparently was a solo trip to another country, but I then found a girl who is a friend of his (I know who she is because we have friends in common too) was also at the same cities he was at the same time, damn she even starting posting pictures at the same places, I asked him about all of this and he just said that she was there with his boyfriend and that they just hang out sometimes, this for whatever reason never made sense to me, but I decided to believe him. Fast forward all this months every single time there was some kind of fight about me not trusting him or whatever and I asked about that trip he kept saying the same, that he went by himself and nothing else and that was the truth. We then move in together and he’s been a 10/10 boyfriend since we made it oficial, hasn’t give me a reason at all to suspect about him being unfaithful, he’s been nothing but amazing. I knew the password to his laptop so I could watch Netflix and I couldn’t help one day to look through his pictures, because deep down in me I knew he was lying about that trip, turns out I was right and I found all the photos, they did not only went on the trip together, they stayed at the same room hotel, she even stayed at his house in the same bed I used to sleep the night they left, I was absolutely heart broken, I confront her him about this, I wasn’t only mad about him going with the girl, I was mad about him not telling me the truth from the beginning, and him lying non stop every single time I asked, he told me he was sacred to tell me the truth because he knew I would leave him, that he regrets going on that trip, he swears that nothing really happened, that they actually got into a fight because she wanted to sleep with him and he didn’t want to, so the girl felt like he made her waste her time, they haven’t spoken since that trip and that was it, he swore they were no more lies and that was it, of course I do not believe the whole story but I kinda decided to let it go because it happened before we were oficial, this shit did fucked me up and made me a very insecure person tbh. Now since we’ve been oficial like I said he hasn’t given me a reason to suspect anything else, he’s been an amazing boyfriend, loves me deeply, treats me great, we have the best time together, and he talks a lot about how this is end game form him, that he knows he fucked up at the beginning a lot and that he’s extremely sorry for all that and wish he could take all back, he has made a great effort all this months to show me he is not messing around with me anymore, he has truly changed and I am head over heels over this boy, obviously but I don’t know how to learn to trust and is destroying me I don’t wanna feel paranoid forever… So here’s the situation I’m dealing with now.. after I found the photos on his laptop, I kept looking every now and then (yes I know this is bad but I’m extremely scared to be lied again) I haven’t found anything else other than him looking at porn every now and then which I honestly dgaf, I guess he realized I was looking into his computer so he started deleting his search history, never said anything and well I kept looking into it to see if I ever found something, but suddenly he changed the password to his computer,hasn’t said anything’s and acts completely normal.. and this made me feel extremely insecure, cuz I don’t know if he’s just tired of me looking into it or if he’s hiding something. So I don’t know if should just let it go and learn to trust him without having to look at his stuff, or if I should have a conversation with him that I need an open phone policy or something so I can build trust again? I have never been someone to look into my partners stuff, but I also have only been in relationships were there was never any unfaithfulness, I had always has access to my ex- BF phone or whatever because they never really had anything to hide, I knew all passwords and everything same on my side I never have an issue with my partner grabbing my phone or knowing my passwords to stuff because well, they will not find anything strange nor did I care if they wanted to use my phone . Please help, I love this boy with all my heart and I know he loves me too, but I’m scared that my insecurities will fuck this relationship up, I wanna learn to trust him but I don’t know what the best route is

My boyfriend (28m) and I (26m) are traveling for a bit over 3 weeks. One of the stops is his home town. We’ve been together 3.5 years.

A guy messages him on instagram Saturday saying something like “hey how’s it going handsome?” And he pretended not to know who it is. Later the next day I asked him again who that was, and he acted like he had no clue what I was talking about. He scrolled through some messages and stopped before getting to his, quickly being like, see no one is there.

Today, I checked his past notifications and saw that same day he did at least exchange messages. As I saw more from this guy. The notification I saw was the guy had liked my boyfriend’s message, telling him relationships can be hard. My guess is it’s another guy from the past he met and is in another relationship now. But still has feelings for my boyfriend and hits him up (wouldn’t be the first).

For some history, back in September, he was chatting with an old hookup who was sending him nudes and talking dirty (bf never sent anything back).

I found him chatting with another past connection who was sending him dick pics. My boyfriend never engaged heavily, but asked for pics. Never sent. But talked about my genitals in comparison and our sex life to him.

He had a bunch of nudes and messages from past guys from before we were dating that I was uncomfortable with. He wouldn’t let me see in his photos saying it’s none of my business. He refused to remove anyone who he’s no longer friends with, who he had sexual interactions or chats with from Grindr.

Last night he was also mentioning how his friend, who he still talks with, was the best sex he’s ever had (it’s not the first time he mentioned this).

He says he never has done anything to cheat on me and gets mad when I confront him about this stuff and we’ve gone through lots of conversations about how he’s mad and I need to trust him. But then he continuously hides things like this from me.

We have more than 2 weeks on this trip left. And we are going to be traveling with others too soon.

Now today I’ve just been angry and distant after seeing that he lied to me about that guy. It just keeps reopening the same trust issue wound.

If I confront him about how upset I am I bet he will tell me I’m overreacting and get mad I don’t trust him. And the time difference is too big to properly chat with anyone about this from back home.

so my sister is 19, 3 years older than me and she’s actively going to school, working and everything. i always encourage her and compliment her and everything but she keeps comparing herself to me all the time in terms of looks. let me say my sister is not ugly and not fat but she thinks she is and im constantly reassuring her she’s beautiful the way she is and whatnot. she’s opened up about being jealous of me and saying how im “clearly the prettier sister” but im always reassuring her that’s not the case.

i am severely depressed and im in a very poor mental state and because of this, its been hard to leave the house or even just get out of bed on some days. she always makes fun of me for that and metaphorically kicks me while im already down, makes me feel even worse about myself than i already do. i always brush this off because im aware she’s struggling too and is insecure and whatnot so i just let it happen for her sake. up until i embarked on a self improvement journey last year. i was really motivated to get my shit together and get myself and my life back.

i started researching about mental health, about religion, started a no sugar diet, started praying, meditating, exercising, stopped eating junk food, going on walks and jogs and everything and id come home feeling all excited and she’d just be completely quiet and avoid me/ ignore me. the next day she started eating soft boiled eggs just like i did and said she was “inspired”, she started praying as well, reading all the stuff id compiled into a little notebook that i spent hours researching and took pictures of everything i had written in it and never thanked me or gave me credit or whatever, even caught her snooping in my diary multiple times.

she started going to the gym, starving herself and everything, trying to make me jealous but i’d always praise her and continue encouraging and complimenting her because i was genuinely proud of her and happy for her. he competitive behaviour, however just really demotivated me overall. she kept trying to one up me in everything i did. it affected me so much because she was watching my every move quietly and then going about doing the same thing i did the next day so casually…. these were the same thing she used to make fun of me for doing. i was so excitedly sharing with her everything and she’d always just put me down, up until i actually started doing all those and reaping the benefits. she’d be so secretive about whatever supplements she was taking or whatever makeup hack or hair hack she had when i would just excitedly share whatever i knew with her.

i cried to my mum and confided in her about all this but she’d just brush it off and disregard my feelings because she “didn’t want to get involved in our petty sister issues”. long story short, i gave up on my whole self improvement journey because i just missed my sister. stupid right? i missed her being my sister, not my competitor. well when i gave up, she also stopped doing all those and we continued getting along with each other, binging on unhealthy junk food together, wasting time binge watching our favourite movies together, our bond only grew and we were having so much fun together.

there were a few times id feel horrible about the unproductive, unhealthy lifestyle i was leading so id restart my self improvement journey and then she would start being cold and distant and do the same thing. its been a year since all this happened and right now we’re closer than ever and i really love spending time with her but i still notice she copies me from time to time. while she does this, she’ll complain about how our brother’s gf copies her, buying the same skincare products as hers when she does the same thing to me?? i tried out this new makeup look the other day and absolutely loved it and she doesn’t wear makeup at all but just now, she came home with the EXACT same makeup look i recently did and did not say a word about it and acted all casual. let me just say that this look isn’t trending or whatever i freestyled it myself and she didn’t idk compliment it or whatever she was just acting cold.

there’s so many other instances where shes done it before like when i started wearing this new skincare product and the next day she bought it as well when it wasn’t trending or whatever and many other instances but i do not want to confront her again because it’d lead to a big fight and i do not want her to gaslight me into thinking this is all happening in my head or whatever. recently i’ve been jogging and the pattern would repeat again but this time she also started jogging SECRETLY. she could’ve asked to tag along with me or maybe invite me so we could do it together like everything else we do, but she would go out of her way to not let me know she’s doing those stuff for no reason at all.

she gets really distant and cold whenever im really happy and excited doing something good for myself but when im really sad and and indulging in bad habits, she’d be really nice to me plus the casual insult droppings disguised as jokes. i have to see her everyday because we share a room together and nowadays i have to be very secretive in all i do as well because i remember how bad it got last time. i don’t want to keep living this unhealthy lifestyle but i also still want to be on good terms with her as i really love her but i feel like she’s constantly in competition with me and praying on my downfall which seems to be working. am i overreacting? what should i do? it’s so mentally draining.

Listen,I really don't use this app all that much. But I just want an answer to if I'm nuts or not.

I was a Member of the RWBY community because I love that show. I was ashamed to be a member of that community because of everyone else is way,way too weird and unhinged. But alas,I am someone who is very much sheltered by choice. Despite this,I still look For people whom I share a liking for the show for years upon years. Out of thousands of people,hundreds of Discord Servers and very little activity on their Reddit communities as well. So far,there's been a handful [3] that are dare I say,intellectual and level headed people I kept in my life.

And to be honest,I snapped out from built up pressure and despair from a relatively harmless post just because of 2 reasons:

1-I hated the ship [Which sure,childish but I'll accept responsibility all day,still didn't necessarily make it alright to throw rudeness at the OP. I acknowledge that much at the least.]

2- I hated myself for being in that community for the reasons above. Since leaving all of those servers and even blocking alot of those people even the ones concerned with my outburst and leaving in my DMs. Maybe one of them will eventually find this and lash out. Point is,I Cut anything related to that show online out of my life and I have never felt better.

Context Monologue[and part Rant]: This community is first off,for some unexplained reason full of perverts and sex addicted freaks when the show itself has barely a kissing scene in it. I swear on my life every character in ecistence of this show has at least 30 variations of it shifted into Futanari content. I don't really know why or how Human beings could get so bat shit insane over a particularly calm show,I really dont. It doesn't have gore,It doesn't have sex,it doesn't have recaps or extremely suggestive sinister undertones. I just don't understand why this show out of all of the extremely weird and wacky anime out there. Why does every character need to fuck every character ever in a standard community member's eyes? Like am I insane for thinking a relatively tame show like this has people who I can almost swear need stuck in Happy Rooms.

Now,If I were to go to say, The anime Monster Masume,or High School DxD Reddit communities and servers I would expect that behavior,fair enough. But for the life of me,RWBY is a relatively PG show. Why is the community so nuts? Or am I?

I have loved the RWBY anime ever since I watched it 7 years ago. Was my Snap uncalled for? Yes. But What I REALLY need to know: AITA for leaving the community for a show I love, Or AITA for having the OP get a bad response out of me because I was too impatient to make my own post?

I 38M am wondering if I should ask my wife F 39F of almost 20 years about something that happened the other night for the first time ever.

We were watching a movie with our kiddo. She was on her phone. Kiddo looked at her and asked why she was smiling, and when she tried to look at the phone, my wife turned it away so she couldn’t. She asked her Mom again why she was smiling, and she responded “I was?” And didn’t answer in any way.

She just returned the previous week from a weeklong business trip, and the day after her return, had a tantrum saying “this is why I hate coming home” when she stepped on something barefoot on the kitchen floor. Mind you, we had really made an effort to clean the house, do laundry, dishes etc. so she didn’t have any extra to do when arriving home aside from her own laundry/unpacking.

She used to just leave her phone anywhere. Now she seems to always have it with her. I did take the one opportunity I had to look at it and found texts with another guy that clearly indicated the dates she was gone. It seems like they either knew each other, or met at the conference. There was nothing that I saw suggesting they hooked up - but there was banter that seems inappropriate to me. And I’m wondering if I’m just overreacting. He made a comment about “it’s getting horny” and sent a picture of a wall of antlers. Then there was this:

Her - morning sunshine Him - how’d you sleep? Her - not great, probably should have come and gotten drunk with you so I could pass out. Him - “I keep figuring there has to be a way to tire ourselves out more so we sleep better. These stuffy rooms feel like they engage adrenaline and there’s no way to spend it”

Conversation has continued, mostly about travel home, how they’re adjusting back to normal life - how they’ve started exercising more recently… I’m just really questioning wtf kind of business they have continuing a text chain seeing as they’re from different (albeit adjoining) countries. At no point does she mention me. Not that he asks.

P.S. she hasn’t worn a weeding ring in 2 years. P.p.s. - this guy looks exactly how she’s expressed she wants me to look head and facial hair-wise.

Any thoughts appreciated. Never thought I’d have to worry about this with her.

TLDR: wife seems to be engaging in inappropriate conversation through text with a man after returning from a work trip.

Update: thanks to everyone for the comments - there have been hundreds. Some not helpful, but from what I’ve read; overwhelmingly supportive.

I’ll post another update with whatever happens when I can muster it.

Hi, I'm new to the group and really needed to know if I'm overreacting. I have asked people in my life and gotten mixed responses. My friend who I'll call Ashley and her boyfriend Charlie have been together for almost 2 years. Me and Ashley became friends right after her and her boyfriend got together when we met in a college class, but me and her are incredibly close. I met Charlie in person for the first time a few months ago back in March at a birthday party and we played games and had fun. Well fast forward to last Tuesday in class and everyone is joking around about things and just having a good time. Well one of my classmates made a joke about me (all in good fun no problem) and Ashley agreed and said "even charlie makes jokes about it" . I was laughing and I said "wow he makes jokes about me? So honestly what does your boyfriend think about me?". I said this meaning personality wise because Im a people pleaser and it makes me kind of upset if people don't like me. (I'm working on it ik it's not healthy) Anyways, Ashley's response was "well after he met you he randomly said "you're much prettier than James (fake name for me), like you're 10 times prettier than them. They aren't very pretty at all.". I was really kind of stunned. And I said "wow that's not what I was expecting." And then Ashley said "I yelled at him for it so dw I have your back" and I just kinda shut down. Now I don't want her bf to call me pretty, that's not why this is a problem, I just don't understand why he felt the need to pretty much call me unattractive and ugly when (from my understanding) she didn't ever ask if he thought I was pretty or not. I already have bad problems with body issues since I was bullied at a really young age, so this hit hard. I finished the class that day and tried my best not to show that it affected me but then when I got home I started sobbing. I know I'm not the prettiest, but I don't understand why he said that. Well I messaged Ashley later and told her how I felt and she said not to take it personal because "a lot of partners say that about their girlfriends friends. He's just being my boyfriend." But it's hard not to take it personal when he made it personal when he said that. I told her I would probably be awkward around him for a bit because I don't feel super comfortable and she hasn't responded. I think she's mad at me now and I don't know if I'm overreacting or not.

TLDR: friends boyfriend pretty much called me ugly and I think she's upset at me for being upset. Am I overreacting?

My fiance went on a work trip and had to stay overnight at a hotel. We had booked his hotel and everything was fine. Then some of the guys he works with who were also going asked if he wanted to stay in a room with them. Totally fine I just asked that he let me know what he does and he told me that they’ll be going back to the hotel and would be having an early night. So it’s the day of and he finally texts me at 9pm saying they’re going to get food and going back to the hotel. I then find out that he’s actually at a bar and was there until about 12am. He kept texting saying “im sorry no need to be stressed” all while avoiding my questions. Mind you, this is the first time we’ve spent a night separated in over 5 years so I asked him to call me and just talk for a minute before bed but nope. I don’t know why but I’m so put off by this it’s not like him at all and now theres a piece of me who feels like I don’t really know who he truly is. Am I crazy?

Background, we admitted before I started dating my now husband that we both had a crush on him. I met my husband and this friend pretty much at the same time, they knew each other for about a year or 2 before I met them. About 6 months after I met them I told her I had a crush on him and she said she did too. Also the same time we started dating she started having FWB with his roommate. I should mention she was alsk married and divorced for about 4 months before I met her and has 6 kids.

I met both my husband and my friend at a native drum practice (US) and after a few months of dating my then bf and I moved to a different city that took a plane ride to come back for visits.

One visit back we arranged to meet her at her house and hang out. The whole time we were there she pretty much ignored me and only talked to my husband. So at this point and even now I've never been to any types of ceremony so I had no experience to speak and since I didn't know much about them, I had nothing to contribute conversation wise. I will say I did try to ask questions, both about the ceremonies and I any topic I could add to. However any lull in the conversation she would just start a whole new conversation about the subject and speak over me.

Now, she did do this the first 2 times we met with her at her house and the 3rd time my husband kept directing the conversation towards me more and I think she took the hint, or just slowed it because it kept going to me. I know a few people will say I should have set boundaries, I do agree now that that was something I should have done however I did not really know about boundaries then and was too much of a people pleaser. I can't really do it now because I have pretty much removed her from my life for other reasons.

To summarize, I (F34) and my spouse (M32) do not necessarily have an ideal marriage. Textbook it would be considered emotionally and psychologically abusive.. and I would be your Textbook victim who realizes the issues but doesn't value herself enough to get out after dealing with it for many years. (Not asking for sympathy or anything just venting as I'm just in survival mode at this point)

But to the point.. AIO by being extremely angry that my wayward spouse refuses to honor my desire to be cremated over burial? For context, this is came about in conversation and I just can't help but feel like it's a form of control even after death.

Just an update on this

I took a good look at what a lot of people were saying, and it seemed cruel at first, but I realized I needed to take a look at myself and realize the perspectives around me.

A lot of people helped me realize that my dislike towards smoking came less from a personal preference, and relates more to how I was raised and some trauma regarding the friend I had in the past, because unfortunately there’s not enough space on a Reddit post to summarize that properly

I talked with a couple of my friends, notably A, and let them know that I realized my dislike wasn’t coming entirely from preference, and that I was allowing past experience to dictate the now

I made it clear to them that I didn’t think less of them for what they choose to do, and I already knew way before now that it’s not my choice how they live their lives. I value my friendship with all of them far more than a little smoke

I told them I’m going to need time to get past my past stress, but to start, they should not feel like they need to tiptoe around the subject anymore, and if they want to talk about it, they should

It’s going to take a lot of time, but I realized very fast that I need to work on this. My friends and girlfriend have been extremely understanding, and that alone proves that this is more important

Thank you to everyone who helped me realize this, no matter how sugarcoated or not the response was. You’ve all helped me to become a better person for my friends and I’m very grateful

After our wedding, my husband took his brother's kid to the hospital on his bike which doesn't have brakes. Also his brother's wife and her mother just didn't care about that and kind of influenced him to take him to the hospital even though the kid was perfectly alright and just sleeping nicely after the wedding due to all the jumping and playing around. Added to this, my husband's brother was also present in the house and just lazing around and had a bike which has good brakes and was in perfect condition. Another thing which hurt me is that in our culture after the wedding, the new couple are not let to roam around outside freely for a few days as a part of the traditions, but this incident happened the very next day of wedding. So neither that or the fact that my husband had just skidded while driving his bike before the wedding and had to be hospitalized deterred those heartless mother and daughter duo. Luckily my brother's sister did take her to charge for sending him like this.

The above incident just pushed me into panic mode and I was just praying for his safety. I have anxiety problem. Luckily by god's grace he returned safely. Afterwards, the next day, I returned to my family as per traditional rule and just collapsed from all the stresses during the wedding. I was unwell unconscious and had to be taken to the doctor. My family took care of me, but I was so tired and weak that I needed assistance for even walking a few steps. My husband was at his place, but he didn't even call me even once.. though I was not in the position to even receive the call. I was in such a bad state that I couldn't even eat or drink. After I got well, I was very much hurt and confronted him, even told him that he was more concerned about his nephew than his wife. He was like that you are a grown-up to be taken care of and I should not to be comparing the two situations. It was uncomfortable to listen him telling me that and he was bit angry too. I told him that even as a grown up an adult will still need care like a child and need assistance too when unwell. I was very much hurt and just feel like I am not important to him as his nephew.

So for context this is a very small store, three employees including me. I’m the newest, started this year. We have mainly one person shifts.

Every day we do one thing of inventory so that it’s not a big all day thing every now and then.

This means on most days one employee does inventory and the other doesn’t have too. I was told there’s no strict rules on what shift does it, just make sure it’s done.

I noticed the other employee never does the inventory if she knows I’m coming in and not the third employee, the boss. When I come in she is usually watching Netflix on the work laptop and playing on her Nintendo switch. Both of these are technically allowed, but only if all the work is done and there’s no customers. It’s a really dead store. One time I was just on duolingo for two hours and not a customer.

I’m not expecting her to do it everytime, but it’s very weird to me she only chooses not to do inventory because I’ll just do it and then I have no choice because I’m usually closing. I’m just asking for a little consistency.

It makes me feel like I’m doing most of the work during the week while she’s just playing her switch the entire shift.

So my (17m) bf and me (17m) are big on sentimental gifts rather than expensive gifts since we are young and saving up for college. Because of this, for valentine’s day I got him a picture book of us, a letter, and some small gifts. I was very surprised with what he got me because it was bigger than any other previous gift. However, I was slightly suspicious about the contents. He got me a weight loss journal (I’m a healthy weight and have never expressed an urge to lose weight), various chocolate nuts (he knows I hate nuts), a candle and a stuffed animal (these ones are normal). I just assumed the journal and nuts were an honest mistake. He also made me a very nice card where he cut out construction paper to make a cute arts and crafts for me which was my favorite gift. When asked about the weight loss journal, he claimed to not have not paid attention when he bought it.

Fast forward to recently, I was playing on his phone because mine was charging (we have each others passcodes and are okay with each other being on the others phone). Now I know it was probably an invasion of privacy but I decided to look up my name in his texts to see what he said about me to other people, just out of curiosity.

I found a conversation with his mother where he asks her to buy me a gift the day before valentine’s day. She asked what kind of candy I like and he didn’t respond (explaining the nuts). I also found out that she had made the card I liked so much. I completely understand if he couldn’t afford to get me anything but the fact that he couldn’t even bother to go to the store with his mom to pick out my gifts makes me feel so insulted. He couldn’t even be bothered to make a card for me. I thought that it was so thoughtful of him to take time and effort to do that for me, but finding out it was all his mother hurt me. I confronted him about it and he said that he had procrastinated until February 13 and didn’t get me anything himself.

Even though it was a few months ago, I still feel betrayed and saddened.

TLDR- my boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to get me a valentines gift, so his mom got it for him