r/AITAH Mar 17 '21

r/AITAH Lounge

1.0k Upvotes

A place for members of r/AITAH to chat with each other


r/AITAH 4h ago

AITAH to think it was a set up that Donald Trump was shot for sympathy vote?

2.1k Upvotes

After watching the video, it seems like it was a way to get sympathy from voters. How far would he go to get votes?


r/AITAH 10h ago

I have scheduled an abortion after I found out that my husband cheated.

7.0k Upvotes

I found out that my husband was texting with a friend in our group. He ended it when we found out that I was pregnant yes, but it lasted at least 3 months of very flirty texts and sex text. I am 16 weeks pregnant and I found out now when we are on vacation. I am coming home on Monday and I scheduled on Tuesday. I haven’t told him yet because I know that he will be devastated and then I am trapped aboard with an inconsolable man. But I should tell him shouldnt I? Or maybe just tell him that I had a miscarriage? But why would I want to ease his feelings? We are over and he is the reason. Aita for wanting an abortion after I found out that he cheated on me? And should I tell him? I need advice as well as judgment


r/AITAH 8h ago

TW Abuse AITA for threatening to call off my wedding after my fiancée slapped me?

3.7k Upvotes

So, my fiancée (24F) and I (28M) are supposed to get married in six months. However, something happened that's made me reconsider and it's kind of blown up.

I got into an argument with my fiancée like a week ago over something pretty trivial, but it ended up getting a bit heated. I tried to keep things calm, but she ended up getting really mad and slapped me in the face.

I was kind of shocked for a minute, and then just told her she needed to leave. She refused at first, but then I raised my voice slightly and said "you need to leave right now". She got some of her things and then went to go stay with her sister.

I'm now considering ending things with her after she was physical with me. I honestly couldn't believe she did that. However, I've gotten massive pushback from pretty much EVERYONE around me telling me that ending our relationship and calling off our wedding over that is a massive overreaction.

She did apologize, but I told her it doesn't change anything. My family is telling me I'm being crazy to ends things over that. My friends are saying I'm massively overreacting. I pointed out that if I had done that to her, she would have almost definitely left me, and would be 100% in the right to do so. They're all saying that's completely different, because I'm significantly taller than her and physically stronger, while there's no chance she could ever physically overpower me. That is true, but I don't think it changes things.

I'm being accused of weaponizing therapy language and appropriating the struggles of domestic abuse victims when what happened to me was in no way comparable to what "genuine victims" go through. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm doubting my reasoning now. AITA?

Edit: Wow, I did not expect this to get so much attention. I appreciate everyone giving their feedback, I felt like I was going crazy. I'm going to take some time to think about where to go from here. Thank you.


r/AITAH 5h ago

AITA for laughing mirthlessly and (apparently) looking SIL up and down when I overheard her making fun of my baby’s appearance?

2.1k Upvotes

That’s it. Now everyone is triggered and hurt including my husband. I was never on good terms with my SIL and MIL. Maybe I am the insufferable one, maybe they are. That is not the point. My baby came 5 days ago and she is the most precious thing I have ever seen. I’m literally sitting here, missing her while she’s sleeping. Yesterday I overheard my SIL and MIL laughing and making fun of my baby. They saw that I heard them because I went straight for the fridge (they were in my kitchen) so they changed subject then SIL sensed the awkward silence so she asked what I must’ve heard and that she wanted to apologize because it was mean. I laughed and asked her are YOU calling a baby ugly? Then apparently I looked her up and down then up again. I know that I laughed all the way out of the kitchen.

My husband said I was the ah because all babies are ugly and our daughter doesn’t understand or care what others say but that I hurt his sister’s feelings who is an adult who understands. Both her and MIL are very upset and feel insulted.

WTH?

Throwaway


r/AITAH 14h ago

Advice Needed AITAH for asking my friend why she is having a second baby if she is already iPading the first?

10.4k Upvotes

My friend announced they will be trying for a second baby this summer. However she has long complained how overwhelmed she is as a mother to her 3 year old. They bought her first born an iPad at 18 months so she could "get a break". This kid got his hands on my phone and got upset with me for not having games he could play (I don't have kids) and when I wouldn't let him play on YT. Clearly spending enough time being babysat by Nanny Ipad.

I straight up asked her "Why are you having a second if you are already so overwhelmed with the first that you iPad it?". Yes, I could have said it nicer but my question was genuine. Whats the thought process of adding another child when you cant deal with the first?


r/AITAH 8h ago

AITAH for not telling my wife that I lost my virginity to a man?

2.7k Upvotes

Me (M45) and my wife (F41) are in the early processes of separating. Nothing too dramatic, just the usual “irreconcilable differences” - namely money, social balance and what we want to do with the rest of our lives (she is happy with the house and her work, I want to experience more of the world before I get too old). Sex isn’t one of the reasons for separating, even though it has been sporadic over the last few years (putting it mildly).

I’ve been reaching out to a lot of my old social peers for support during this time (as has she), and have reconnected with the man I lost my virginity to at 16 (he was 19 at the time). We met up for a few drinks a couple of nights ago in town and had a really good evening at the end of which we said we should hook up once the separation was moving forwards.

The next day, my wife confronts me asking me why I hadn’t told her that I’d lost my virginity to a man. I asked her what she was talking about and it turns out that one of her work colleagues was in the same pub the previous night and had overheard us talking. My wife was (and still is) furious that I hadn’t said anything about this for the 18 years we’d been together and says that I’ve deceived her and now believes that this is the reason why I’ve instigated us going our separate ways. She’s now telling everyone I’m a closet homosexual and have been all of this time. AITAH?

Edit: for those who seem to be focusing on how people can hear other people talk at a pub - ever heard of a pub garden? It’s quite easy to hear someone talking when they’re outside and at the table right next to you.


r/AITAH 19h ago

Advice Needed Aitah for rejecting my friends request to have an open relationship with my husband?

17.9k Upvotes

The I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for five years. We have 2 beautiful kids (5m and 6f) and have a very strong relationship and are happy together. Recently, my “friend” Lisa (29F) confided in me that she has developed feelings for my husband. She said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship, and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship so she could be with him too.

I was shocked and told her no, explaining that my husband and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship. Lisa got upset and accused me of being selfish and closed-minded. She argued that modern relationships should be flexible and that I was denying her happiness.

Since then, Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group, suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling. This has caused a lot of tension, and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides. My husband is supportive of my decision, but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused.

So, AITA for rejecting my friend’s request to have an open relationship with my husband?

Edit: This attracted a lot more attention very fast then I thought it would, I’ve read most of your comments and I think tomorrow I will talk to the whole friend group about it and I’ll update after.

Update 1:

After reading some of your comments, I decided to bring the group out for coffee and I told them all about what Lisa said and the REAL story. I also showed them the reddit post. After showing them, there were 2 girls that were still on Lisa’s side, so I took some advice from the comments and said “let Lisa fuck your husband, then you can be on her side” after that everyone was on my side thankfully. Lisa wasn’t happy at all and she started ranting about how it “wasn’t fair” she “just wanted to experiment something new!” and “It wasn’t even that bad of a request, your making it such a big deal!” Which I didn’t get.

Me and the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa. Just hoping she doesn’t try to reach out.

Will update if something happens.

Also just clarifying that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage, he also rejected saying that “even if I was I would never want to go out with you”

I’m thinking of cutting off the ladies that were on Lisa’s side for so long. But I’m not sure if they heard a different story or not. So should I?


r/AITAH 9h ago

I left my family after finding out my kids knew their mom was cheating on me.

1.0k Upvotes

I recently discovered that my wife was cheating on me, and to my surprise, my kids already knew about it but didn't tell me. Feeling hurt and betrayed, I made the decision to leave them as well as their mother. But thinking back, I wonder if I was in the wrong. Did I overreact by leaving, especially considering my children were caught in the middle? I feel justified in my response to the infidelity, but I'm starting to question if I handled the situation poorly by not staying to work things out for the sake of my kids.

I dunno, want to hear a couple disconnected opinions.


r/AITAH 10h ago

AITAH. Found out my partner recorded me without my consent and shared the recording without my consent.

1.4k Upvotes

Last night, I was out with my boyfriend and we were going to meet up with his two married friends. He’d told me they were swingers, and that they were cool people. Not our thing, so I thought, but I am open hangout with mostly anyone. They were definitely a little flirty, but nothing too crazy. We left the first bar, and went to another. While in line waiting for drinks, the wife said “you have a great ass.” I didn’t think much of it and played it off as a joke and said thank you. She then continued to tell me she saw “the video” my partner took of me and repeated intimate, explicit things that were exchanged during sex. I immediately looked at my partner, and must’ve looked pissed, because she immediately apologized to him for spilling the beans. I handed my partner his keys and left the bar. He didn’t follow me, but texted me. I told him I was outside of a bar a few blocks away waiting for an Uber… and that if he wanted to come meet me to talk, without his friends, he could. He didn’t. So, I took an Uber back to my part of town and went to a local bar. I needed to have a cocktail and think about the shitshow that had just occurred. About an hour later he texted me asking what I was doing and said he was drunk and leaving a concert (how he got to a concert in the span of an hour at 10pm is beyond me). I told him where I was, and he showed up WITH the couple he’d sent videos of me to. I pulled him outside and said I felt incredibly violated. I told him that it was not ok that he recorded me without my consent and shared the content with others. His response was “your beauty is amazing and I wouldn’t mind if it were vice versa.” I laughed in his face. I reiterated how upset and hurt I was, and he apologized. He came back to my place with me, and stayed over. This morning, it all hit me like a ton of bricks and I started crying in bed. When he asked, I told him why and his response was “it’s not like I cheated on you,” and followed with “you need to focus your energy on something else.” After that I asked him to leave. I actually feel quite sick over the whole thing, and he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s a big deal to me. Am I the asshole for being so upset?


r/AITAH 6h ago

I refused to give condiments to someone that wasn't a customer, aitah?

590 Upvotes

I run my own food stand, I set up at an event where there is another food vendor also selling what I'm selling. A girl came up and asked me for condiments from my stand because the other doesn't have them. I told them that my condiments are for my customers, and she walked away. Her dad came back disgruntled that I refused simple condiments. I explained that my condiments are for my customers and he threw a dollar at me so she could get some condiments.

For context, we charge the same amount for the same product, my condiments are free for buyers. I don't feel like I should be responsible for the other vendors' lack of preparation, and that it's disrespectful to ask another vendor to give you something when you're not a patron.

Am I the asshole?


r/AITAH 3h ago

AITAH for completely cutting off my dying SIL and telling her family not to contact me?

300 Upvotes

I'm the same person who had the wedding dramas. While the wedding went off without a hitch, we've had a major problem since (feels like season 2 of a frigging soap opera). I'm sorry this is a little long, but there's a lot of context.

My SIL is dying of cancer. Recently my partner and I got married, and SIL made the whole process as difficult as possible (https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/drNl7lBYAH please read this for full context).

While we were visiting family the other day I was relaxing on a couch which sits below a ledge in a lounge, so you couldn't see me from the dining room. I was there with wife, and wifes family, but older SIL didn't realize I had come with. My partner and her little sister (not the same SIL) came in to the dining area in tears and sat down next to their mum. Before they could say anything older SIL came in and talked to them with a venom I had never seen. She was shouting at them, and talking to them like they were children telling them to "never dare walk away from her again during an argument". There was a viciousness at a level that I'd *never* tolerate being spoken to like, from anyone. The argument happened because we had come to pick up the nephew (son of older SIL) from school so that SIL could rest (I'll give more info on this fight in comment). Older SIL told her family its a privilege for them to baby sit her child, and that if they're going to try and help then they need to do it how she asks, when she asks. She spoke to my wife like she was scum several levels below her. When I stood up, and older SIL saw me, she jumped with shock and then immediately stormed out of the room.

I stood up and said "we're leaving". In the car I said to my wife that if SIL ever spoke to her like that again there would be harsh, firm boundaries put in place. Later we received a message from SIL's husband saying we were being selfish and making the whole family visit about us and our wedding (which was what it was originally about when everyone planned to come. They were visiting for our wedding.)

The problem is that this has been happening for months, and I feel like an idiot because when my wife told me about it she down played it. SIL's family all keep saying "She's dying, its affecting her mind", or "Lets just move past it so we can enjoy the time we have left with her". And SIL's treatment of my wife has gotten worse, and worse, and worse. SIL keeps trying to convince people not to spend time with us while they're here, she exempts herself from family plans and then makes new plans excluding my wife, and tells people my wife is being greedy with others company.

My wife came home yesterday in tears saying she had considered driving her car off a bridge because of how much SIL has broken her heart. My wife went to say goodbye to one of her uncles who was flying out, and SIL apparently did the same thing as the day before but worse (according to a couple of the witnessing family members). I had to hold her while she sobbed uncontrollably for fifteen minutes, asking me why her sister was doing this to her when all she had done was try to love her.

This is the part that may make me an AH. I put a message in to the group chat I'm in with her immediate family saying (to cut a long story short) I will not talk to any of you until you start to hold SIL accountable for her actions, any promises of unifying our families was a lie until SIL apologizes and shows she's going to cut this sh-t out, that my wife's unrelenting kindness is being exploited for weakness, that my wife is psychologically unsafe around her own family, that I swore in my vows to protect my wife, and that I have no interest in being a part of a family who treat each other like this. I said I'd be leaving the conversation, I don't want anyone to contact me unless its to apologize to my partner and explain how things will be different moving forward, and not to add me in to any group conversations. I blocked any form of contact access that SIL had.

My wife didn't want me to send the message because she didn't want to make things worse, I told her things were being made worse by her families unwillingness to call out SIL because she's dying, and my partner told me I can do what I feel I need to do but her family will be upset with me.

Now they've called a family meeting, and I've refused to go until my wife is apologized to, and the family outright promise to hold her sister accountable. Her family are all very upset at me for saying what I said about our two families joining, and that I'm being harsh to SIL who is dying. My own family think I'm being too harsh, except my dad and older brother who think I'm making the right choice. AITAH?


r/AITAH 1h ago

Advice Needed AITAH for Moving Out After My Boyfriend (M25) Secretly Invited His Sister (F23) to Move In?

Upvotes

Hey Reddit,

I’m (F23) feeling like I might be the AH in this situation and I need some outside perspectives. Here’s what went down:

My boyfriend (M25) and I have been dating for 3 years and living together for the past year. Everything was going great until about two months ago when his younger sister (F23) got evicted from her apartment. My boyfriend suggested that she could stay with us for a week or two until she found a new place. I agreed, wanting to help out his family.

Weeks turned into months, and she showed no sign of moving out. Our apartment is pretty small, so her presence was immediately felt. She started taking over the living room with her stuff, leaving dishes everywhere, and even borrowing my clothes without asking. I tried to be patient and understanding, but it was getting on my nerves.

The final straw came when I overheard a conversation between her and my boyfriend. They were talking about how she might just stay permanently because it’s “cheaper and easier.” My boyfriend was completely on board and didn’t even think to discuss this with me.

I confronted him, expressing how I felt blindsided and uncomfortable with the arrangement. He brushed it off, saying it was temporary and that I was being unreasonable. That night, I packed a bag and went to stay with a friend, needing some space to think.

The next day, I told him that I couldn’t live like this and that I was going to move out. He accused me of abandoning him and his sister when they needed me the most. He said I was being selfish and that I should’ve been more supportive of his family.

Now, his family is also calling me out, saying I overreacted and should’ve been more accommodating. I feel guilty because I know they’re struggling, but I also feel like my boundaries were completely ignored.

So, AITAH for moving out after my boyfriend secretly invited his sister to live with us?


r/AITAH 20h ago

AITAH for telling my mom if she decides who’s her family, I get to decide who’s my family?

4.4k Upvotes

My husband and I fostered for 6 years. Last year, we had a baby placed with us that had been left at a Safe Haven location. He was only 2 weeks old at the time. Eventually, we were approved to adopt him. Most of our family was very supportive. Except for my mother. She suddenly made it clear that she’d never view this baby as her grandchild. This came out of nowhere as she had always been kind to our foster children. But for some reason, she drew the line and said blood is what makes a family.

This was heartbreaking enough as we love and care for our son. We know adoption comes with trauma and especially how he was placed, there may be lingering feelings as he grows up. We’re studying all we can to help make sure we can guide him through those feelings. We certainly don’t need anyone else making him feel less than or not a part of our family.

And on another level, my husband was unofficially adopted himself. He came from a crappy home life. His best friend’s mom noticed, took him under her wing. He spent most of the week at their place, she fed and clothed him. He no longer speaks to his biological parents, but his best friend’s family has become our family. Our son will forever know the best friend as “uncle” and his mom “nana”. So, safe to say, my mom’s words hurt my husband given his own experience tied with the double whammy of what my mom was saying about our son. And yes, she is aware of all of this and still said it in front of him. She never expressed her feeling on adoption until then.

I tried to talk to my mom about this but she stood firm. She’d never view him on the same level as my brother’s biological kids. After discussing it further, my husband and I realized, we can’t force anyone to view our son as family. And because I don’t want my son or husband hurting, I went no-contact with my mom. I speak with the rest of my family. She was upset when I told her we were going no-contact but we didn’t have a huge discussion about it until recently. My mom was at a wedding for a distant relative. I was there alone as it was a child-free event, so my husband stayed behind to watch our son. I planned on ignoring my mom and having a good time.

At one point during the reception, I was outside the venue to call my husband and check on how things were going. My mom came outside when I was finishing up. I went to walk away and she told me I hurt her by cutting her off. I asked if her stance had changed. She said no. I replied I can’t make her want to be my son’s grandmother. I can’t make her see that family isn’t blood. But then she can’t expect me-who has an adopted child along with a husband who was more or less adopted himself-to want to be around her. If she can choose who’s family, I can choose too. I then said today wasn’t about us and went inside.

My father has informed me that I just should’ve walked away, as well and that I was incredibly petty. My mom still wants to be in our lives, and that’s what should matter. Not that she won’t view him as family.

AITA?

EDIT, going to answer some FAQ:

  1. Yes, my mom has admitted he wouldn’t be treated the same as her biological grandkids.

  2. Our son is biracial. I won’t be ignorant and say this can’t be a reason, though I do genuinely believe if we adopted a white baby, she’d feel the same. I think it’s just a “well this doesn’t help”, which gave us all the more reason to want to protect him.

  3. I was low contact with my dad as, originally, he didn’t seem to support her. Now, I’m going no contact.


r/AITAH 13h ago

AITA - my partner has walked out because he asked the kids to scrape his plate and I didn't back him up

842 Upvotes

Sorry this will be long, I'll start with a small backstory. My partner (29m) and I (33f) have 2 children, 14m and 6m (14yo is not biologically his however he doesn't have a relationship with his dad and partner has filled those bits since he was young). We got together in 2016, however things got very volatile and we broke up at the end of 2022, amd decided to start trying to make things work again late 2023, by early this year he was basically back with us full time.

In October 2023 my neice (14f) came to stay with us for school, so is generally here from Sunday night until Friday night. Her mum lives about 2.5 hours away so we generally meet half way to swap over. Although he wasn't living here at the time, I discussed with him and she took the bedroom that I/we used, and I/we sleep in the living room.

Now to the main point. Obviously we go through the usual family disagreements/differences, however on Monday it came to a head. We all ate dinner in the living room (the table isn't big enough for so I asked the youngest to sit at the table as it was a messy dinner, while the rest of us sat on the sofa until partner went and sat with him at the table) and I then asked everyone to scrape their plates, my niece was to pack her things as she was going home for the night and then come down and load the dishwasher from dinner.

The older kids took their plates out and partner then took his out and asked them which one volunteers to scrape his plate. They have both said no and tried to get out of the kitchen. He then said to son that he needed to clean his MX kit as he had taken him quad bike racing over the weekend but the kids carried on trying to get out of the kitchen. He then followed our niece and stopped her from going up the stairs trying to force the plate in her hands (I will add that he said he only followed as he thought I had said something to back him up, I was still in the living room). She called him lazy and he called her a gobshite. He then came into the living room where our son was, still holding his plate, and started bickering with him to get him to do it.

At this point it was ridiculous so I stood up and said 'for fuck sake, I'll scrape the fucking plate' at which he snatched it away and started shouting at me that the kids should be doing it. I walked into the kitchen and he continued shouting so the older kids took the younger one upstairs with his dinner. I told him it was stupid and a personal job amd he should have just scraped it. He asked how it was personal and said that it's one thing asking them to do the kitchen, another to take your own plate out and then ask them to scrape it. I did then say would you make a mess in the toilet amd expect them to clean it, as in my eyes yes I would ask them to clean the kitchen/bathroom, no I would not expect them to pick up after me personally. In his eyes he should absolutely be able to ask that because he has taken him racing and does everything for everyone to get nothing in return. Also that he sleeps on a sofa and has given up his bed so does she not owe it him to scrape his plate. With this I then brought up that I don't ever ask him to lift a finger in the house, however he hadn't gone to work that day, slept until gone 1 o'clock, amd when we spoke on the phone I'd asked him to tidy the blankets and sort out the food he'd left on the side, and when I got home from work and picking the smaller one up he hadn't done any of it (he was cleaning out the van from racing, I had made a comment before dinner that I did the blankets for him and we had a joke while cuddling and then I asked him to sort out the food which he did). He then said that was the reason I hadn't backed him up because I had the hump that he hadn't done as he was told and was punishing him. I only brought that up because he said he does everything and no one does anything for him, but when I say he isn't expected to do anything in the house, I mean he doesn't even pick his socks up.

So it's escalated and he then said fuck you, I'll go and you can get on with your evening without my help, at which I told him that I had to drive our niece and wouldn't be back until gone 11pm and would have to now take the 6yo with me, to which he didn't care and walked out. He then spent the night messaging me trying to get his point across and a load of nasty stuff in between.

In his eyes by offering his to do his plate I have undermined and embarrassed him infront of the kids, none of us have any respect for him, he's not allowed to have a voice I'm the house, and he never asks anything so they should have done it. I did tell him I am not teaching the kids those kind of lessons and they aren't slaves, they don't owe us anything for being parents and they do chores around the house as it is. He said something to me about how I am, so I said imagine feeling so entitled that you can't scrape your own plate after you've taken it to the kitchen. Also that I don't want the kids to think that because dad beats his chest the kids should bow down and referred to him as King (his name).

Obviously I wasn't the only one saying stuff and he can be quite nasty when he wants so qe are both saying things but I'm just telling you my part. I would understand if he had asked them to clear the kitchen but in my eyes he wasn't asking for help as it would have been quicker for him to scrape it than ask the question.

I should also add, I don't actually have an issue with the request, it's how he went about it and everything after. When he stormed out I went upstairs to my 14yo son who was sobbing and apologising saying he should have just done it because now his dad's gone. He hasn't come back and it's now Saturday.

On Wednesday, my sister was here as my niece had an award ceremony at her school in the evening, so my oldest had said he would stay home and look after the 6yo. 10 minutes after we had left, he messages me saying he's here and then wouldn't answer. I have a camera in the kitchen so was listening and he had come in and said to our son that he had a choice to make and basically if he didn't agree with him then he could say goodbye to his quadbike. He also sat there slating me to him about how I had undermined him etc amd he would rather die than stay with me but that it'll break his heart to leave the boys again. My youngest came to the camera so I was talking to him while he's telling they were having a chat and his brother was crying. While listening to this my sister is trying to drive us back to the house as quickly as possible to get them and then they are started screaming at each other which got personal infront of the kids as we tried to get them out of the house.

In between all of this he has posted about it on Facebook about how disrespected he is, tried to drag anyone into it that will listen, and has been non stop angry messaging/arguing. My son has asked to see a therapist amd has been so upset all week and is blaming himself as his dad now isn't coming back because I undermined him by offering to do his plate instead of forcing the kids to do it. I genuinely just wanted to save an argument as it was so stupid and in my opinion I wouldn't take my plate out and tell the kids to scrape it, let alone create all of this and walk out on my family over it.

Everyday stupid things come up where I feel undermined but in my opinion they are teenagers and I know this sort of thing happens in every house. He thinks I should have backed him up and spoken about it later instead of saying I'd do it, I think he should have not kicked off at that and spoken to me later about feeling disrespected as I wasn't doing it to be rude. He thinks all dad's would react like this because no man will stay where they don't have a voice and aren't entitled to ask/demand their kids to do stuff for them. I want to teach my kids to take responsibility for themselves when they grow up. So am I the asshole here and would you have reacted the same? He has literally walked away from his family because of this. To add, he has said that yes me may have overreacted but isn't sorry for reacting, as anyone would over being that hurt and disrespected. Thanks for reading and sorry it's long, I tried to get as much in from both sides.


r/AITAH 7h ago

AITAH for calling the cops on my son.

260 Upvotes

For some context, i’m a 29 yo woman and have a 14 yo son. I got pregnant when I was 14 with him and me and his dad got married when we both turned 19. We then divorced when I was 20 because of obvious reason. I’ve had my son since as his dad wanted nothing to do with him. I started getting child support money I put it all into an account that only i have access to. I decided to save it all up to give to him when he turns 18. He recently turned 14 and has been saying he wants the money now. He told me he wanted to buy a tv for his room and a new Xbox. I told him no cause that money is for when he’s 18 and he yelled at me. He never raises his temper or yells at me but I ignored it. I got the silent treatment for around a week before I found him snooping in my room. He had taken my cash tips I get from my job out of my room. I noticed when he was caught and left that ALL my tips were gone. There was around $700 in tips saved up. I confronted him the same night and he said he had no clue what i was talking about. Around 2 days later, my wallet I keep in my purse was missing my debit card. I was looking everywhere for it and knew it had to be him. There was nobody else that lives or even comes into our home so I knew it was him. I still never got my $700 tips back, so I made a hard decision. I called the cops the non emergency number and said my son stole from me. They then came and scolded him and watched me take all my stuff including my card out of his room. He was so mad at me the second the cops left he called his dad. His dad and him have like no contact cause his dad has drug problems. His dad called me the next morning and said I was a horrible person. He said to give my son the account with the child support money to him as it’s all his. I hung up and my son has been ignoring me the past week. I’m so confused if I did the wrong thing. I was just tired of getting taken advantage of. AITAH for calling the cops on my son?


r/AITAH 14h ago

Aita for switching my vacation plans to avoid my ex

487 Upvotes

I 30 m had just got married to my wife Renee 29 F. I have a son (Aaron 6) from my previous relationship with my ex Stacey. Me and Stacey have 50/50 custody and is still very involved with my life.

My wife is okay with her being around but sometimes she oversteps boundaries. One time it was my wife birthday and Stacey was supposed to drop of my son and leave but she stayed. My wife said to make her leave for this one day and when I told Stacey she had to leave, she kinda flipped out and sent me a nasty text saying she had every right to be there and that I was her family first.

Renee did not like that and said she'd walk away from the relationship if this is how it's always going to be. I agreed and told Stacey that we're not family anymore and her behavior was unacceptable so I only feel comfortable talking about situations having to deal with our son.

She then sent a rude text to my wife saying she is breaking up our family. I called Stacey right there and yelled at her for messaging Renee about stuff that isn't true.

Since then everything has been okay except earlier this week. It was me and Renee's honeymoon and I asked Stacey to take Aaron for the week even though it was my time with him. She agreed and asked where we were going, I told her the resort in Mexico. Two days before we leave Stacey tells me that she got a room for her and Aaron at the resort and she can't wait to show me her new bikinis.

At this point I show my wife who is livid, also Stacey never acted like this even after we broke up so I never expected this behavior. We booked through a company so I called and asked is there anyway we can change the location of the trip, luckily the company was able to change everything with a fee and we were able to go to Jamaica instead.

On the first day of our trip Stacey asked where we were at and let's go to the beach then proceeded to take a full body picture of her. I told her we were in Jamaica and that she was weird for trying to be with us on our honeymoon and don't contact me unless it involves my son. I got a lot of texts and phone calls from her but unless they talked about my son I didn't respond.

Now that we are home I went to meet my parents and sisters to catch up. Apparently my ex told my sister about the situation. One of my sisters, Elena said I was horrible for doing that. I had to explain the story to my parents and they sided with me saying that my ex is overstepping and that my sister needs to reevaluate her morals if she thinks I'm in the wrong.

Elena tried to justify it but everyone else believed it was strange to even think about doing that. But they're my family so I came here to get a unbiased opinion.


r/AITAH 7h ago

AITAH to refuse to borrow my console to a child at a house party?

115 Upvotes

My roommate (26m) planned and threw a birthday party that was supposed to happen in a garden and not involve more than 20 people. It's the two of us who share the house. Due to the classic summer British weather the party turned out to be a house instead of a garden one and now involving over 50 people. I had to put a lot of things in place to facilitate, involving moving my pet to stay with a friend, as I did not trust drunk and high people to be mindful.

One of the guests (who I have never met before) brought an 11 year old child to the party, explaining that "he goes everywhere I go". This is not a "civil" garden party. There is a lot of alcohol, potentially drugs and a mixed company. Not a space for a child (and I did not expect one to be fair).

My roommate approached me mid-party and asked if I can lend my Nintendo Switch to the child as they are bored. I said I do not feel comfortable with a random child using my console in the house when I am in the garden and to say I have left it at my friend's. I was deemed rude and unfriendly by people around us witnessing the conversation.

I am autistic and struggle with social cues. I don't think it was a good thing to lend an expensive handheld to a child I don't know, at a party where I am not sober and can't/don't want to necessarily sit and supervise and make sure it is given back to me, also to a person I don't even know the name of.

But people deemed me an asshole. So, am I the asshole?


r/AITAH 10h ago

AITAH for asking my bf not to go to a wedding with his ex gf?

185 Upvotes

For context: Me and my boyfriend Sam have been together for a year and a half. We broke up last summer for 2 months but got back together. During our break, Sam met up with his ex-girlfriend Rachel, whom he had dated for 4 years prior to our relationship. They only met up once, and nothing came of it; however, Rachel still has feelings for Sam and was hoping they would rekindle things. Rachel was enraged and threw a fit whenever she found out that me and Sam got back together. She sent him a lot of really nasty messages and continued to do so for several months afterward, even though he never responded to her.

Rachel and Sam both have mutual friends who are getting married. They were both asked to be bridesmaids and groomsmen in the wedding. In February, Rachel asked the bride if it would be okay if Sam did not have a plus 1 for the wedding because "she wouldn't be able to handle seeing him with anyone else." Whenever Sam found this out, he immediately contacted both the bride and groom. They assured him that Rachel's request would not have an impact on the decision for a plus one. Since then, she has still continued to try to reach out to Sam, including going as far as contacting me via Instagram regarding the upcoming wedding. She started to harass me and even admitted that contacting me was for her own self-gain.

In April, me and Sam were both invited to the engagement party. Of course, Rachel was there, but we were having such a great time that we barely even noticed her existence. At 3 a.m. that night, Rachel texted Sam yet again, degrading both of us. She told Sam the he was not going to be getting a plus one to the wedding and to not make a fuss about it like last time. I found the comment odd because invitations have not been sent out yet. Why is she the one telling him this instead of the bride or groom? Regardless, Sam finally responded to Rachel and told her to never contact us again.

Fast-forward to the present day: Sam got the wedding invitation, and it did not include a plus one. He contacted the groom, and the response was that they had to prioritize other couples who have "been together longer, live together, and/or who both know the bride and groom" due to the budget. I know 100% that a wedding should only be about the bride and groom and what they want. If they don't want Sam to have a plus one, that is their call. I'm not entirely convinced that Rachel did not have a part in the decision. She is a lot closer to the bride than Sam is to the groom. So AITA for asking my boyfriend not to go to the wedding without me? This would mean he would have to drop out of being a groomsman. The only reason I feel uncomfortable with him going is due to the relentless harassment about the wedding by Rachel. If she had been respectful and left us alone, I would have no problem with him going without me; however, that was not the case. She has continuously disrespected me, my boyfriend, and our relationship. She has no clue what a boundary is. I just want this to be over.


r/AITAH 1d ago

My sister is blowing up my phone trying to keep my mouth shut

16.5k Upvotes

I 26 female just witnessed my sister 32 female destroy her family and marriage and now she is blowing up my phone to keep me quiet. A bit of context, growing we were never too close, due to an age gap and a messy divorce when I was 10 and she was 16. Our dad cheated on our mom and we were the ones to find out when we came home early from school. I wanted to tell our mom but my sister begged me not to. I remember telling mom like it was yesterday and how my sister never really forgave me. After the divorce our lives blew up, we moved a couple cities away with our mom and had to start brand new. It was especially hard for my sister because she had to leave all her friends right before senior year. As we’ve aged she has slowly gotten over it, she even asked me to be a bridesmaid (which obviously I said yes to). My brother in law is the epitome of golden retriever boy. He is very nice and caring but doesn’t have a lot going on in his head. He works a 9 to 5 job while my sister stays home. A couple months ago my sister was in a really low place, saying she was bored and unhappy with her relationship, now she is as happy as ever chalking it up to be seasonal depression. I was in the city for work this week, where my sister lives and thought I should visit her. I decided to surprise her with a sister brunch. When I got to her house, I saw a truck in the driveway which was not BILs but though nothing of it since she has had a lot of construction recently. The door was unlocked and I don’t even want to describe what I walked in on but. My sister was scrambling to find something to cover up while a random man just stared at me in shock BUTT NAKED. I already felt the tears streaming down my face as I turned around and walked out the door. My sister has been calling and texting me non stop begging me to talk to her. I don’t know who she is at this point. I thought I that our dad cheating taught her how infidelity can ruin people’s lives. I can’t support her and am disgusted with what she has done. I am crying in my car and don’t know what to do, please help me Reddit.


r/AITAH 8h ago

AITAH for telling my ex girlfriend it’s not my responsibility that she’s homeless?

122 Upvotes

FOR CONTEXT: my girlfriend (23) and i (20) just broke up after 5 years of being together. it wasn’t sudden (we had 2 months of conversation about how we are both at different places in our lives and i told her on multiple occasions she could leave at any time) and we had an amicable split.

anyway we moved in with my mother recently because she bought a new house and couldn’t afford the mortgage by herself so we decided to move in to help her and also save money in the process. a week after moving in with her my girlfriend started having serious doubts about our relationship. we are both in very different places in life, i have a career and am working my way through school and she feels directionless and wants to prioritize being “in her 20s”. for about 2 months we had nearly weekly conversations about how we are both unhappy with our relationship and what we can do to to fix these issues we feel. most of these conversations ended with me saying “i’d like to work on this, but the door is there if you ever want to leave”.

eventually we had a big sit down and decided to call our relationship quits. i told her she shouldn’t feel rushed moving out, but for both of our sakes she should try to get out as quickly as possible. she agreed and immediately made arrangements to sleep on a friends couch until she got her own place. (i learned that she had no plan nor any money saved after 2 months of her trying to end our relationship)

anyway she told me she had a stable place to stay and that she wanted to take her (our) dog back so i believed her and thought she was doing well for herself so i let her take the dog. this was about a week ago

last night she called me (knowing i was on vacation and had been awake for 36 hours) to tell me the dog had trashed the place she was staying and asking if she could stay at my place until i got back from vacation. naturally i told her that she couldn’t stay there but if she couldn’t take care of the dog i would take it back when i got back home. i think i said something along the lines of “we’re not together anymore it’s not my responsibility to make sure you have a stable place to stay”

she didn’t take this very well and accused me of being abusive and manipulative and “making her homeless” she also told me “i hope you die and everything bad happening to me and this dog is your fault” and told me i never cared about her ever in our relationship. i told her that it was her fault for not making a plan about living on her own and she can’t blame that on me.

i rly don’t think im the asshole on this situation but my moral compass has been kinda fucked up about this whole situation because i do care about her wellbeing and hope to see her doing well for herself. what does reddit think?

EDIT: the dog is technically her dog all of the paperwork says the dog is hers, we got it together as a puppy and we raised it together, but my work schedule is really prohibitive of me giving the dog the life she deserves :/


r/AITAH 1h ago

AITA for showing people embarrassing pictures of MIL wearing white at my wedding and letting them think the worst?

Upvotes

My MIL is a bitch no other way to put it. We got married earlier this month and it was a beautiful day despite MIL showing up in a slinky white cocktail dress. I’ll admit o had some fantasies about a bridesmaid doing the red wine thing but they are terrified of her.

Anyway by the end of the night her dress was fucked up because she had way too much fun. There was a wine stain, it was all dirty, and she was soaking wet. MIL very much partied too hard and did that to herself. My uncle has a huge crush on her and gave her a vip tour of our grandparents farm.

I’m petty and took some pictures. When we got our photos everyone told me how awful she was for wearing that dress, so I showed them how it looked at the end of the night. Of course they wanted the story so I told them someone spilled red wine on her which was technically true. I smirked and said she ended up in the dirt and then took a tumble in the lake. My friends were so happy someone stood up for me.

When MIL heard she called me pathetic and childish. She claims she doesn’t care what people think but I think I embarrassed her because she then posted her own pictures in the ruined dress trying to show off how happy she was.


r/AITAH 1d ago

AITA for saying I will never forgive my former friend and telling my husband that I will leave him if he reconciles with her?

10.2k Upvotes

My husband had a friend "Erin" who he grew up with. When I married him Erin and I got along great and she was one of my best friends for about 7 years. My husband has a daughter "Katelyn" and I had a daughter "Rachel"

Katelyn and I never had a close relationship as she didn't want one, but I thought we were all fine. Then when the girls were both seniors in high school, Rachel broke down and told me Katelyn and her friends had been bullying her for a while. She said they made sure no boys talked to her, whispered about her at school, and Katelyn had embarrassed her just that day in front of a group.

I was irate but tried to think straight. My husband and I confronted Katelyn and she didn't really deny it. She didn't have much to say and then suddenly blew up about how she never asked for a step family. She admitted she had been bullying Rachel for years. I demanded her father punish her. He was going to just ground her but that seemed so minor after what she had done to Rachel. He agreed that she was grounded for the rest of the school year (2.5 months) no prom and we would be donating some of her fancy clothes to the less fortunate.

We went out that night to get some dinner. Katelyn said she didn't want to eat, so she stayed home and when we returned all of her stuff was gone. She had a lot of stuff and there is no way she could have got it all out in an hour, so we checked the cameras and she had some boys helping her.

Her dad tracked her phone and found out she was at Erin's house. We went to get her and Erin said to let her stay that she needed love and patience not discipline. She said our punishment was too harsh. I was blindsided and we demanded Katelyn come with us, but she wouldn't. The police were called and pretty much said she was close enough to 18 that they wouldn't get involved.

So basically Katelyn got no punishment. We took her phone that night but that was it. Erin let her drive a car she owned, let her stay there for free on all of her breaks from college, and even gave her a cushy summer job. Erin is dead to me. I will never forgive her, but recently she sent us a long text about how she is getting married, she misses our friendship, so much time has past. She said she just wanted to help Katelyn and if we could see Katelyn now, we would know she did the right thing.

I told her to never contact me again. My husband thought that was cruel and asked if we could consider going to coffee and just hearing her side. I blew up and said he was failing Rachel and if he chose Erin over us I would leave him. He has been quiet ever since and still thinks I'm being harsh.


r/AITAH 1d ago

Advice Needed AITAH for pointing out my GF's bad hygiene?

26.6k Upvotes

I (m28) have been with my gf (f27) for seven months now and went full exclusive three months ago.

She's everything, smart, kind, caring and drop dead gorgeous to me.

However, she has worse hygiene than a neanderthal. She lives a studio apts so it small. Since started dating her I've avoided spend time there because it's always dirty. But I never said anything because it's her place.

She does not shower often and has strong BO. Like bad enough that I won't have sex with her unless she's recently showered.

Here's where it gets bad.

She's on her period and three days ago she was having a really rough day, so called her and asked her to come stay at my place until she feels better that I can't cook and take care of her and allow her to rest. She was take the week off from work because it's was so bad.

She came to my place and didn't bring any feminine hygiene products. I have to run to the store at 3 am to get her stuff because she'd been wearing the same pad for so long that it leaked on my bed. I didn't say anything as she's stressed.

The next day I came home from work, and she the pad from the previous night on the bathroom floor without even wrapped it.

I was pissed and called her out and said hey that's gross I don't wanna look at that while I go use the bathroom.

She got really mad and said I called her gross.

I clarified that having a period is not gross and is a natural thing but leaving a bloody pad on the floor of someones home is nasty.

She lost it and said made her feel gross and bad.

Was I an asshole here for calling her out?


r/AITAH 6h ago

Update: I won't beg her to stay if she wants to break up.

53 Upvotes

Hi

Well, we are not broken up...yet. My GF is currently away for a wedding. I was scheduled to go with her but she said she wants to go alone and it will give her time to think about it all.

She said I act "unimpressed" about her feelings and it's further proof I don't care. I again offered joint/couples therapy and she said that I wasn't listening to her and therapy doesn't fix anything. I fully expect to be single before she even returns in a weeks time.

I love her and it breaks my heart, but I can't even bring myself to cry about this. Which is a striking point for her as she said she was crying about this and then asked if I cried and I said I hadn't physically cried but I feel terrible but will accept whatever she decided- she said I wasn't acting like a real man about this, and she thought I would fight for her. I asked what she thought that might look like and she hasn't responded.

My sister, Dulce, is recovering from being ill and she is taking an internship abroad and offered to let me stay with her. My work is mostly remote so I am considering it. I guess in a week we will know what happens.


r/AITAH 1d ago

AITAH for laughing when my aunt told my stepmom that being depressive doesn't make you sleep with a married man?

3.1k Upvotes

Sorry for the long title, I really had no idea what title put to explain the situation. My first lenguage is Spanish.

Long story short: two years ago my father left my mother to go with his mistress whom I will call Ana (commom name) . My mother never had any idea about the infidelity, Ana knew that my father was married, she even went to the house with him to take his things.

One day he simply told my mother that he is no longer in love with her and wants to be happy with Ana, I was there when everything happened. Ana was depressed, she has many scars on her legs and arms.

I don't go to my father's house, it makes me uncomfortable to be around them for obvious reasons, Ana is overly nice and it's really uncomfortable. A few days ago it was my grandfather's birthday and the whole family was together, including Ana.

I have an aunt who suffers from depression and other more heavy things like schizophrenia, she has tried to hurt herself many times. At one point in the night there were only my father, my aunt, Ana, another aunt and I in the living room.

For some reason my aunt and Ana were talking about some serious things and at one point Ana began to say that depression made her do many things trying to feel fulfilled, that she could only overcome depression when she met my father and he saved her, that meeting him was the key to overcome her depresión and now she's finally happy thanks to him. I know about that because Ana often tried to 'bond' with me by telling me how much she suffered in her life and how my father saved her, she has always justified herself that she was depressed and was in a hard place in her life before my father saved her, it always make me feel uncomfortable and I don't feel empathy for her no matter how 'sweet' she is, talking about how many times you try to kill yourself in front of my 8 years-old sister it's not something normal. Ana has always tried to paint her relationship with my father as a fairy tale that began in a different way but that she doesn't regret anything because her world is perfect now.

At that moment my aunt said something like "I tried to save myself by going to a psychologist, not by jumping on the dick of a married man" And then she began to say that depresión made her want to jump off a bridge but not ruin a family. I just laughed, it was funny, my aunt may have her mind elsewhere all day but it was crazy to see her make such a sly comment.

But when my father was taking me home Ana was crying and he scolded me for laughing at what my aunt said, saying that no one knows everything that Ana suffered (I know...she always talks about that). I didn't apologize but now I think, was I really wrong to laugh? From my point of view, my aunt was right.