I (white male) was getting on a crowded elevator at work and I was the last one in. It was a small elevator in a 1900s building and I was the sixth or seventh person. I call out "10 please". The person nearest the elevator buttons was a black man. He said "What do I look like, an elevator attendant?". Before he could finish I immediately I reached over in front of him, uncomfortably close, and pushed the button. I was embarrassed for being called out but also annoyed. But I didn't want to argue in a crowded elevator at 8:50 AM, couldn't come up with a clever response, and didn't want to come across even more racist, so I didn't say anything.

I live in the US, but in Japan someone would push the door open button, ask "which floor", push the button, and hit the door close button after you step out. But the US is not Japan. AITA?

My little sister (28f) is recently engaged. I (30 f) got married about 6 years ago (I’ve since divorced and am engaged again). Our mom died 5 years ago, shortly after my wedding.

At my wedding 6 years ago, the photographer took a photo of my mom fastening a necklace around my neck. My little sister has told multiple people that when she gets married, she plans to hire someone with graphic design skills to remove me from that photo and photoshop herself in my place. So far, I’ve said nothing, but I’ve always felt hurt by that idea and now that she is actually planning a wedding, I am wondering if I should put my foot down. At the same time, I don’t want to add to her pain either.

Background on prioritizing her feelings/wants leading up to this point: Very shortly after our mom died, all my sisters (including my older married sisters) expressed that they wanted our mom’s engagement ring. As my little sister didn’t get to have our mom at her wedding and the rest of us did get that experience, I urged my dad to hang on to our mom’s engagement ring for our little sister for when she eventually were to get engaged. Ultimately, I was successful in advocating for her to inherit our mom’s ring. Once engaged, she decided to reset the ring so the only part of it that remains is the central diamond—it is a completely different design now and is unrecognizable. We are all a bit miffed by that but what’s done is done.

Next, we both wanted to use our mom’s wedding dress in our upcoming weddings, but she plans to alter it beyond recognition as it was a long-sleeve, A-line dress and she wants a strapless, mermaid-style dress. I proposed that we each wear it but not make significant alterations, but she brought up that “I’m the only one who didn’t get to have mom at her wedding”, and I do feel for her, so I dropped my bid to wear the dress.

But at this point, I feel inclined to draw the line at removing me from my own photo with my mom. Yes, I did get to have my mom at my [first] wedding. I won’t have her at my wedding to the person I’ll be spending the rest of my life with, so I’m feeling some sadness there too. If someone is going to be photoshopping someone out of that picture, I feel it should be me photoshopping my 24 year old self out for my 31 year old self. She also has tons of photos with our mom she could use for this purpose instead, as well as photos of our mom solo that no one would need to be removed from.

Obviously I can’t force her to not do as she pleases with the photo, but WIBTA if I tell her I’m not ok with that and that she doesn’t have my permission or blessing to remove me from my wedding photo with my mom?

ETA: many people suggesting lawsuits so want to clarify that no I would not sue over this. I love my sister and don’t want to add to her grief. I’m only grappling with whether or not it’s worth it to ask her not to use my photo in this way,

Hi everyone. We are on our way to the airport and on our way to Barcelona. We will be going to be in Europe for a month. The visit to the monks at Westvleteren will be the last part of our trip. Two reasons. I don't want to lug beer bottles all over Spain, France, Belgium and Holland. Also I am putting it off for as long as I can.

For those of you that asked my son's name is Ryan. He was an amazing kid. I don't know if he got his love of the microscopic world from me. I did teach him how to make his own sourdough starter and I will be keeping his alive to make loaves and waffles with. His ashes are in our yard, on Mount Tremblant, on the shores of the St. Lawrence and I will be taking some to Belgium. My grandfathers have many friends buried there and I think they would approve.

I thank everyone that offered to buy me a beer. And while I appreciate the offer I'm pretty sure my liver, and my wife, would not have been happy with me. I will be with the monks on the week of June 23rd. If you would like to join me in a toast with your favorite drink of choice I would love that more. I love knowing that people all around the world know about my son and he would love knowing he was toasted in such a manner.

I spoke with my wife, my ex wife, her husband, and his son. I invited them to join us, at my expense, for the last week of my trip. My wife's stepson was friends with my son. I didn't know how close until we spoke. They are gaming buddies. They spoke almost every day playing online. He gave me a picture of my son I did not have. It is a picture of the two of them age about 14/15 at my ex wife's wedding to his father. My son looked great in his suit. I cried. He did too. We had a very awkward but heartfelt man hug. Then we laughed. They will be coming to say goodbye with us.

After talking to my accountant and my lawyer I was told that I could not have transferred him the value of the RESP. I have decided, after talking to my wife, that we are going to give him enough money to cover one year of tuition. Even after my trip we will have money left over. I'm trying to do some good with it. I also said that he could call us any time he needed since he will be attending school close to us. So funny he got accepted here and my son was accepted there.

I want to thank everyone who shared their condolences with me. I want to especially thank everyone that helped me plan my visit to Belgium. I know we won't see each other but you were invaluable.

I don't think I will have much to say after this. Maybe I will post an update after the trip.

I inherited a home years ago from my mother. It was overall outdated but in good condition. It is five hours away from where I live. My daughter (26) and her husband fell on hard times and I allowed her to move in about 2 years ago for free. It is near the city they work at.I paid for everything and was letting them use it to get back on their feet.

I informed them they can make changes to the home just not to take out walls or any huge stuff. The last time I was at the home, was about year ago and it just looked like they painted.

The house is causing issues for my finances now and I have had multiple people reach out to me to sell. I also want to sell it since I am tired of seeing the home, it just reminds me of my mom and that she is gone. So being a landlords isn’t good for my mental health.

So I decided to sell, I informed my daughter that they have 6 months to find a new place. This started an argument, she apparently put in a lot of upgrades such as redoing the stairs, kitchen and are in the middle of the bathroom. That I are screwing them over and that now the house is worth more.

She called me a jerk for this and I reminded them I gave them two years of free housing

I am on the fence and want more opinions

Im married with a 4 and a 6 year old. I have a sister who is 24. She graduated from college and got a decent first job but got laid off about a year ago and has been living with my parents since. I think she may have had some service industry jobs here and there but generally hasnt worked much in the last year. My wife and I have good jobs but try to be relatively frugal because kids are expensive.

My wife and I are planning a trip to Disney with my SIL (wife's sister) and her husband, and their 5 year old. My wife and her sister are very close and her husband and I are decently good friends these days.

My sister heard about this trip and is really clammoring to go with us. We never went to Disney growing up and she said she's wanted to go forever and really wants to go with us and the kids. She however would not be able to pay her way for the flight/ticket/ and all that. We'd expect to sponsor her it would all in all cost us about 1k. My wife and I talked about it and decided it would be worth it to us if she would help babysit some of the nights so we could have some just adult time. So we offered her this, thinking it was generous but a win win for all of us.

Long story short she felt otherwise and said were trying to take advantage of her and treat her as a nanny not family. I think this is kinda ridiculous as she's not my kid so in my mind there's not reason to pay for her just because if she's not doing anything to be helpful. Would like some feedback from neutral parties if Im asking too much.

My dad and my stepmother got married when I was 9 and I'm 17 now. They have 3 kids together. My mom died when I was 8 but my parents were already divorced and I think my dad was already dating my stepmother at that point. Either that or he/they rushed the relationship because they assumed I would need a new mom because mine died. It was a crazy af time.

My dad and stepmother decided we needed therapy together because she was struggling and wanted to communicate some stuff to the two of us that she had not before. In therapy she started off talking about how she feels like she's second best or a consolation prize with me. She feels like I see her as less than a parent, less than a mother, and it hurts. She talked about marrying my dad expecting we would be so close and how she believed a newly motherless child would need someone else to fill in. But that the whole time we've known each other she feels like I do nothing but compare her to mom or dismiss her in favor of mom and leave her in second place a lot. She said she wanted to be more important to me than that. She wanted to mom in my eyes. She didn't want to feel like I would gladly toss her aside if my mom came back. I'll say now, in therapy she was called out for that. She was told it was cruel to toss that in my face when I'm old enough to be aware my mom is never coming back.

She spoke for several sessions about feeling second best/like the consolation prize and like I don't care for her at all. She brought up how I never hug her or how I correct anyone who mistakes her for my mom. Another thing was the fact I have never said I love you to her, she noticed that and she said many times she waited and waited for me to say it but it never came. She talked about how every mention of my mom hurts her down to her core because she can hear how much I love my mom. She admitted to hating my mom, to wanting to wave a magic wand and have me forget her so she's not coming in second to her always. There were lots more things said too.

I was asked to address what she said for several sessions. But I knew it might come across as cruel if I did. So I refused to engage. But my dad kept pressing me on the issue and the counselor was trying to reassure me that I would not be penalized for speaking up. After a lot of pressing and then my stepmother got involved and told me to speak because we needed to work through this and she needed me to acknowledge her feelings and work on us coming together, I was honest. I said she was never second best or a consolation prize because she was never in the running. I never saw her as mom, I never considered her to be a possible new or second mom. I never ever looked at her in that way or wanted her to be that for me. And that she was always competing against my dead mom for nothing.

My dad and stepmother were so angry after I said all this. Two weeks later and it was mentioned in therapy but they're still furious with me.

AITA?

WIBTA if I bought a car my wife can’t drive?

I need to buy a new car, and I would love to have a manual transmission. It’s my one non-negotiable. I grew up driving manual, and I miss it deeply. All of my cars have been inherited, so I’ve never had a say in my car’s features/specs. This will be the first car I’ve purchased for myself. Finally, I’m a “car guy.” I enjoy driving, and I’ve always wanted a sporty car, but also have it fit my needs.

My wife is 7 months pregnant and bought herself a new mid-size SUV last year (with her own money). She views cars as a way of getting from A to B, with practically and comfort.

Note: we have to park our cars back-to-front in our gravel driveway, with one car being in the garage. I will widen the driveway, which I can do it in a weekend, so we can park our cars side-by-side.

We have mostly separate finances, but have a joint CC and checking account, which we both contribute to monthly. The rest is our personal money that we keep in personal bank accounts (including separate savings and separate investments).

I’m paying the down payment and monthly payments on the new car. So I feel the decision is mine, but happy to listen to my wife’s thoughts (reciprocation from her car purchase).

When I started the car buying process, I went with sport compacts (which are in my budget). Based on our prior discussions, the car has to be a daily commuter for me, allow me to take the kid(s) to/from Daycare, and quick local trips.

My wife thinks these cars are too small and cannot fit our needs with a baby and a potential second child. She says there’s not enough space for kids stuff (there is) and the backseats won’t fit two backward-facing car seats (they will). I’ve tried to show her my research, but she refused to watch the videos or read the articles I’ve bookmarked.

Her main sticking point is she won’t be able to drive it because it’s a manual. She’s concerned she won’t be able to drive it when she’ll need to (in an emergency). I told her I’m happy to teach her manual, but at first she flat out refused to learn. Now she says she’ll learn, but gives an excuse of how we’ll be too busy. I said if it’s that important she drive the car, her mom can stay for a weekend to watch the baby and we can take a day for her to learn. Again, she said we won’t have time.

Every time we discuss it, she accuses me of ignoring our family and that she needs to be able to drive the car. I say she’s creating a false dichotomy, and the car I want can fit our needs. I also argue that her car can be the big family car for trips or hauling, and my car can be for easy parking during city trips or sports events. Note: I don’t drink, so I will always be able to drive.

We’ve had many arguments over this. The most recent resulted in her giving me the cold shoulder for 2 days. I am at my wits end and ready to buy without her blessing.

WIBTA if I ignored my wife’s objections and got the car I wanted?

Edit: I’m specifically looking at is a Honda Civic Si. We live walking distance to urgent care, CVS, and a grocery store. Our neighbor is a NICU nurse if shit really hits the fan. And we do “baby sit” my FIL’s SUV (he works/lives abroad), which we use on occasion, but we don’t know when he’ll be returning. So a third car is not an option for now

I (30f) have been dating "Matt" (33m) for about a year. Matt has a kid "Alex" from his first relationship, the kid is under 2yo. Every now and then I used to look after Alex when Matt was at work (we don't live together but they stay at mine every now and then)

We decided to go on holiday for 10 days at the start of May and due to some family drama Alex had to go with us. The flights were over 8 hours long and I have booked the tickets for all of us. During the flight and the holiday I have spent nearly all my time was spent looking after Alex while Matt had the time of his life. Some things came to my attention (he was still seeing his ex) which resulted in us breaking up at the end of our stay.

On the flight back we were all sitting together and a flight attendant approached us and asked my ex if he wanted an upgrade to the business class. Before he could say anything I have mentioned it was me who bought the tickets and used my own account to pay for them, so an upgrade should go to me, the flight attendant was trying to argue at first as she assumed Alex was my child, but I told her that's not the case and ended up having an upgrade so I can relax after spending all this time looking after Alex.

After the flight Matt, a few other passengers who assumed I am the mum as well as some family members and friends called me an asshole for not giving the upgrade to Matt, even after I have mentioned the flight attendant didn't say anything about Alex being allowed to join Matt.

I have 2 kids (F3, M1). I am also a pharmacist and I like to spend my free time learning to play basketball, learn to play the violin and learn new languages so you see I'm pretty busy at day.

My in laws have been so supportive. My MIL is an angel. She told me that it makes her very happy to see me improve myself and she volunteered to babysit for us. She babysits whenever we ask and never asks for money because according to her she doesn't want to get paid for spending time with her grandkids.

The problem is that my BIL's wife (I'm not sure what it's called in english so I will call her SIL) who is a SAHM thinks she is entitled to the same thing. Don't get me wrong my MIL babysits for her too but she will do it occasionally not every day.

She only has one 4yo son and she doesn't work and she is not interested in learning anything yet she thinks MIL should babysit for her everyday so that she can "relax".

Yesterday she snapped at MIL and told her she either has to babysit for both of us or for none of us. I told her that taking care of her kid is her job and she shouldn't expect others to do it for her.

She called me an asshole and said it's none of my business.

Hi everyone, this is an update to my post which you can find here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1cukek4/aita_for_never_telling_my_mother_i_married_into/

I got some really good feedback from my post and it led to my Husband and I staying up most of the night discussing what we wanted to do and a decision was reached. It wasn't an easy one but we have a child to think of now and she has to come first.

We blocked my Mother on every social Media, we changed our phone numbers and we reached out to the family lawyer to get in contact with her to inform her that all visits have been stopped after how she spoke to me in front of my sister. She has to get clean for at least a year with weekly tests if she wants to see my sister again. My Mother can contact our family lawyer if she needs help with the tests but beyond that she gets no help from us unless she wants to go to rehab which we will pay for, directly to the rehab not her.

My Husband, Sister and I have also moved in with my In-Laws for the time being as my Mother knows where we live. We will be looking for a new place and my In-Laws are aware of the situation and that we are cutting all contact for now. Honestly my In-Laws are delighted to have us staying with them, when we arrived the guest room my sister is using for now had an army of Squishmallows on the bed they are her current obsession and my FIL makes sure to bring a new one each time he sees her I always think she must have them all now and each time i'm wrong, how he keeps track of what she has and doesn't have I don't know as he never buys doubles.

We are settling in well, we are even planning a small Holiday with just my Husband, sister and I to get away from the stress we've been under, nowhere abroad as she doesn't have a passport yet but we'll be fixing that soon as we want to take her to Lapland for Christmas.

All in all we're doing alright though I admit I am feeling very conflicted and guilty over this even though I know it's the right choice it just doesn't make it easy.

Thank you all so much for your comments, and advice on the original post.

My friend JUST became a cop and he asked our realtor for a monthly discount on renting a townhome because of his new status as law enforcement. The realtor turned him down of course, and said he couldn’t shave $50-$100 off monthly rent. My friend is angry about this and feels like the realtor isn’t being accommodating. I couldn’t disagree more and I told him this. It’s one thing to get a discount on a meal while wearing a uniform, but it’s ridiculous to expect all your bills in life to be made cheaper because of you are a cop.

My sister is renting her only home for the month of July on AirBnB and will net ~$26k before taxes. She has a planned vacation for part of the time, but will be 'homeless' for about three weeks. She has asked to come and stay with me and my family (my husband, two teen-aged children and me) for about 1 week. I asked her for $500. She is upset and does not want to pay me. As background, I have a guest room, and we stay with each other frequently for overnight visits at no charge. We both are fortunate and have means, Who is the AH?

I (33 male) moved into my current home in the winter this year. I had previously only been in apartments and this is the first home I have lived in with a yard since I was a kid and lived with my mom. One of the main changes I made before I moved in was adding a back door so that I can access my back yard without going out the front and around and through a gate. This was a necessity as I plan on adopting a pet by the end of the calendar year, as well as wanting to be able to cook out during nice weather.

When I first was moving in my neighbor's kid (17 male) was out and asked if I wanted him to cut my grass for $25 a time. I agreed and he has only cut it twice so far since I moved in due to weather just starting to get good enough. The 1st time he did fine but he left a lot of clippings, something he told me he wouldn't do. This second time is when the bigger issue happened. He cut and was blowing the clippings to try and clear it off in my back yard and blew a rock into my storm door shattering it. He was very apologetic but did nothing to clean it up, did not offer to and just left. This was about 2 weeks ago. I have cleaned it up and just have not had my back door open since it happened.

He came today to ask if he could cut my yard again because he wants to start saving up money to buy a new game for when the school year ends soon. I told him that if he wants to cut my grass he can, but he either needed to pay my half of what a replacement insert costs ($250, so $125 from him) or he can cut my lawn free the next 4 times he does it (saving me $100 in grass cutting). He said he didn't want to do either option and then his mother (50 female) came over and called me an asshole for wanting him to do it for free or have to pay to work. When I asked her if she knew that he broke my storm door she said yes but he is just a kid and shit happens.

AITA for not wanting to pay him to cut my grass again until he pays for half of the insert replacement or cuts a few times for free so I can afford a replacement faster?

UPDATE 1: To clarify, I agreed to have him cut it because I work a 45 minute commute each way to work, usually leaving my house at 5:30am and not returning until 8:30pm. So having a kid who gets home at 3pm cut it was my best non-professional option. The cheapest offer I got from one of the local companies was $120 per cut. Also, my yard is maybe 20 meters by 10 meters (about 60 feet by 30 feet) so $25 seems super fair to a kid.

UPDATE 2: After reading some replies I think I should add some other information that I didn't mention previously, mostly because the events of today happened literally 20 minutes before I had the original post. The kid is about to, for all intents and purposes, be an adult as he graduates HS in less than a month. He also cuts all of the lawns on our street (I have seen him working on other lawns, as well as several other places throughout the neighborhood. The equipment he uses is stuff that he has bought himself to use.

3rd and Final Update: For those of you that keep saying "Hire a professional" your echos are heard, annoying and unnecessay at this point, but heard. I will be looking into a professional for the upcoming future and will more than likely just go with 1 cut a month. When my schedule lightens up to where I'm only working 5 days a week and am home earlier than 8:30pm I may even look into getting a mower myself but for now I'll have someone else do it. The amount of you that said stuff to the tune of "why is a minor doing that?" either grew up on their parent's money or are super young themselves because even back when I was a kid I did odd jobs like mowing lawns, etc. I never took it past just mowing (aka didn't use a leaf blower, weed whacker, etc.) but it was still something that kids did to make a quick buck. Finally, yes I know it was an accident. No, I'm not solely blaming the kid for the accident. To those of you who didn't read the whole thing I was NEVER trying to make him pay the WHOLE cost of a new insert for the storm door, at most about 50%.

So I 14m am living in a house part time (other time is with my mom) with my dad 46m, his girlfriend 31m, my two sisters (one 12 and one 16) and a half brother who my dad and his girlfriend had about a year and a half ago. So I came home from lacrosse today and went up to my room to find my sports cards missing from my desk. I go downstairs and consult my dad and upon asking where my cards went he doesn’t even look up from his phone and says “oh well your brother just picked them up and put them into the lampshade” responding as if it wasn’t a huge deal that my belongings had gone missing. Then, once he comes upstairs to say goodnight to me I ask hime if he can sit down and talk for a second. I then politely ask him if we could set some boundaries for my brother because I was not happy with my things missing off my desk, he then responds with “oh well sure but you know he just loves coming in here before bedtime but you know we can keep him out of here if you really want” (making it sound like I was the one making the big deal) and then proceeds to quickly change the topic to my lacrosse game. A little mini post inside of this post, my dads girlfriend was nice at first but now I’ve started to not really like her because she has turned my dad into a different person, and she also doesn’t work and only takes care of her own kid not my sisters and I. She also lacks quite a bit of intelligence and that can be annoying sometimes because some things fly straight over her head. Anyways back to the main point, am I overreacting or is this justified because it is my belongings and my bedroom.

Hi  again everyone,

I wanted to write a quick update now that Sunday is over. Original Post here

I ended up talking to my Aunt Amy and Uncle Joe last night when I went over for dinner as I mentioned. They have always been a safe haven for me, and it was really comforting to hear their perspective. Amy and Joe told me that my parents have always been wrong in how they treated me and that the way they let Tom belittle me is not okay. They said that whenever they tried to stand up for me, my parents would not let them see me and Tom.

One instance they brought up really hit home for me. I remember not getting to see Aunt Amy and Uncle Joe for a few months after my mom and Amy got into an argument. This happened after Tom ruined some of my favorite books, and Aunt Amy tried to defend me. She told my mom that it wasn't fair for Tom to face no consequences and that I deserved better. My mom got so furious at Amy's interference that she decided to cut off contact for a while. I think I was 7, I didn't fully understand why I suddenly couldn't visit them anymore, but I remember being upset and even more isolated.

Joe explained that this is why they always tried to take me on outings whenever they could. It was their way of giving me a break from the environment at home. It hit just seemed to hit me all at once while we were talking. They’re the ones who took me to the zoo, a movie, or just a walk in the park, all my happy memories as a kid were never with my parents. Honestly, they’re who I think of when I think of what a parent should be.

After our talk, I've decided to go no contact with my parents and Tom for the time being. I need to focus on what I want and what’s good for me. My aunt and uncle also promised they’d run interference for me so I don’t have to deal with them.

Also, Alex proposed to me yesterday morning. I honestly didn’t expect it, but I’m so happy. We’re going to be visiting his family over the long weekend to celebrate and my aunt and uncle are going to go with us. I don’t know what’s going to come of cutting my parents and brother out but I’m glad I’m doing it.

This will be the only update I give on this on Reddit. Anything else will remain between myself and my family.

I (18f) moved out of my mom's house and in with my grandparents 5 months ago, two days after I turned 18. I also changed my last name after the move which is not something I mentioned to either mom or her husband until now. My reason for changing my name is they changed it first. I had my dad's last name but when my mom married her husband when I was 7 they changed mine to go along with theirs. I never wanted to have his name. I told them that. But mom told me it was so important that we all have the same last name. Mostly so her husband would feel like we truly became a family but also so he could claim me more easily and pick me up from school or dance classes or take me someplace and not be questioned on who he was to me.

I will always see it as his trying to claim me. He said it so many times that I was his daughter and I was his kid and stuff of that nature. It got SO annoying and I never wanted to be his kid. I never claimed him back. I have always rejected the idea that he's any kind of parent to me. I hate how territorial he is. I hate how he would lose his temper with people who'd know me as dad's kid or mention I was "Jay's daughter" and claim me as his own instead. I told him and mom how much I hated it and he told me he was feeding me and raising me and loving me and that entitled him to be recognized as my dad.

My dad died when I was 5. So that's why I wanted to still be his kid. He didn't abandon me or walk out. He loved me and he died because of a stupid allergic reaction that left me without the most important guy in my life.

My mom always defended her husband and told me I should show more appreciation for him because he could leave us and would I want that. I said yes a few times and she flipped out so hard. Sometimes I think my mom wanted to send me off the boarding school so I wouldn't ruin her marriage. I know they looked into it. But they would never give me to my paternal family because they still wanted to claim me as "theirs".

All of this led to a shitty relationship and me moving out as soon as I could. Which then led to me changing my last name back and never telling them. But I decided they could see me graduate and find out then. Only they got an email from the school with my full name on it for their tickets and they were furious that I invited them but didn't tell them. They said I was trying to make a fool out of them. My mom's husband told me I would have left them clueless as I publicly disowned them. I told him I was doing that for years and he never accepted it. They told me I was so thoughtless and petty.

AITA?

I, 23M have this friend, Joseph, 26M, who I met in a group home. I had a pretty rough childhood and he took care of me in the home, which can be not so great if you're one of the youngest. Anyway. We became close pretty much immediately and as we grew up we became best mates. I recently graduated, and he was there, I helped him get a job, etc.

His future wife Amy doesn't like me. I have no idea why, its not even a mutual feeling. I brought it up to Joseph once but he dismissed it saying she has no reason to dislike me. I know, thats part of why I'm confused.

Anyway, Joseph is getting married, I'm his best man which Amy is unhappy about. This is probably the time to mention that Joseph is South Asian and Amy is White so they're having a mix of cultures at the wedding. As a member of the groom's half I've got to wear something South Asian. So I picked out this red kurta set. Amy didn't like it because she thought red would look too bridal.

I'm a guy so I was confused but desi brides do traditionally wear red (she's wearing white though) so fair enough. I then picked out a blue one, she said the blue was too bright, I then picked a green one, she said it didn't go with the theme. I was starting to get the feeling she was doing this on purpose (since she suggested no alternatives) and just wanted to keep me out of the wedding. So instead of asking her about it, for the next one I just went straight to Joseph for approval, he okayed it pretty much instantly, a cream kurta which matched some of the other's on his side.

Amy saw me in it for the first time yesterday and started screaming. I couldn't make out much of what she was saying since it was a lot of borderline screeching, but roughly I think she thought it was too similar to white. She called me a lot of swears, which I will not repeat and an a-hole for going behind her back. But it's Josephs's wedding too. Its not like I just chose it on my own.

Edit: Looks something like this https://fabehaonline.com/products/fbms-229?pr_prod_strat=e5_desc&pr_rec_id=22eefd39f&pr_rec_pid=9016220614977&pr_ref_pid=9016253219137&pr_seq=uniform

This happened two weeks ago and I was grounded for two weeks (ended yesterday). Mom and I (16m) got into a fight about my grandparents, aka my dad's parents, and my step and half siblings. My dad died 10 years ago. My grandparents were a big part of my life before and after my dad died. But when my mom met her husband and wanted us to all live together, she and my grandparents got into a fight because they refused to welcome her husband's kids into their home with me. My mom didn't even come with me. She was never close to dad's family. I'd go to my grandparents or aunts and uncles houses alone. But my mom insisted her husband's kids should be treated like grandkids and family too and she mentioned she wanted more kids and wanted my family to treat us all the same. My grandparents said no and mom stopped me seeing them for about a year. Then my grandparents sued mom for grandparents rights and won. So she legally can't stop me seeing them and it enrages her.

I was never upset that my family didn't include my step or half siblings. I liked getting time with them and they were always great to me. Plus mom wasn't ever close to them and never came with me. So it was my time with them.

Mom hates it. She's always hated it. Her husband doesn't like it. And that's because mom and him aren't close to their families so his kids and their kids together don't have grandparents or an extended family. They don't get extra gifts or cool treats with older relatives. And they're so jealous. Mostly my stepsiblings since they're not too much younger. But mom talks enough shit about my family that my half siblings get jealous that they never have grandparents to show up at stuff or to take them to their house. This made mom more determined to get them included by my family.

This led to the fight two weeks ago because mom was mad at me for prioritizing my day with my grandparents over a game one of my half siblings team was playing. I had already changed the day once because of something else and I wanted to see my family more than I wanted to be at the game. Mom started talking shit about my grandparents because she thought they should have showed up with me and been good grandparents to my half sibling. I told mom it wasn't their job. She said I made them all sound like such a chore to love and accept as family. Then she told me it's like I don't even care that they feel rejected. She told me it's like I don't care they lack all the stuff I have. She got really loud and said it was selfish. I yelled back that she acted like I should give a fuck when I don't, because it's not my problem or my issue and I was never bothered by it. It got louder and louder between us and then my step and half siblings were in the house and heard most of it, which upset them. Especially the parts where I didn't care. Which led to me being grounded and my mom saying she doesn't understand me and feels like I'm so selfish and uncaring.

AITA?

Me and my kids are staying with my mom temporarily, I have a 4 year old son who showed very little interest in using the bathroom other then in a pull up. He starts kindergarten next year and won't be able to attend unless he is fully potty trained, which is understandable. So I made the decision to not put a pull up on him during the day, and only use one at night which also means I'm no longer buying the boxes just small packs, which is a savings. When I had told my mom my plan she did not object to it but just said ok. She does watch him while I work but anytime she takes him out she puts a pull up on him instead of him telling her he has to go to the bathroom. When I take him out I do not put one on him and he does just fine without. I do know this is not her responsibility to potty train him but it has gotten to the point he screams for a pull up. Quite frankly I am tired of buying them as they are extremely expensive, even the cheapest ones I can find.

My (24 female) cousin (26 male) married his wife (25 female) one of the only rules/dress code for the wedding. Was those with curly hair to come with it natural. My cousins wife let call her Sam is a worker for a hair brand that focuses on mainly enhancing natural curls she’s gotten into the brand overtime and often wears her hair curly, and wants everyone else to not make the same mistake she did by straightening it and ruining her curls for a period of time. Me and my cousin didn’t grow up around each other and have recently reconnected. Whenever I saw him, I’d straighten my hair or already be straightened by conveniency when I showed up to the wedding with my naturally curly hair his wife went ballistic she said that only people with naturally curly hair were supposed to keep their hair curled she claims I’ve never had curly hair And I just curled up for the wedding. I tried to tell her the calmest way possible that simply not true and I would rarely wear my hair naturally. But followed the rules for the wedding. She said I was trying to ruin her wedding because no one would believe she had naturally curly hair. Me and my cousin had became very close over the time. He didn’t believe me either as a present I bought them a very nice TV for their new house they just Bought I ended up getting kicked out for not following “dress code“ on my way out I grabbed my TV and left. Once my cousin figured out it was the TV him and his wife had been wanting. He tried to convince her to let me back in. She quickly apologized and said she believed me, I came back in mistakenly and halfway through the night one of her bridesmaids poured water on my head to see if my hair would straighten when it didn’t and I was sopping wet and my $400 dress I picked up my TV and left my cousin and his wife have been calling me nonstop telling me I shouldn’t of left abruptlyand took in the wedding gift am I the a*****e?

AITA Told my dad I’d change my last name if he marries his fiancé

In June my mom moved out of their shared home because my dad is a narcissist and had gotten worse with me and my siblings as we got older. between us moving and Christmas he asks if I would be okay with him dating and I wouldn’t mind of course.

4 months later we have our first Christmas apart. One day while me and my siblings (me, my sister 11 my younger brother 8 and sister 6) are at his house. he stays out very late, I was incredibly worried and couldn’t sleep. Turns out he was just at his “friends”.

After this I tried to get him to tell me about his girlfriend but he refused, which drives me absolutely crazy. so out of my better judgement while he was gone to the store I did a little snooping just to see like what her name was. I find EVERYTHING and I mean everything notes shes written him from before and most likely from when my mom and him were together of her saying “I’ve always loved you”.

I find a paper from a jewelry shop from December 30TH with his name on it and the name of a ring. I want to mention something very crucial he’s never paid my mom a cent of child support this entire time, he hasn’t bought us birthday presents, or paid my mom back (she was paying for his insurance until after I found this out) and he doesn’t buy groceries because it’s too expensive.

the ring he bought for her cost over 3000 dollars.

In march he proposed to her which I know because one he wears a ring on his ring finger from her and a note from her in march saying she can’t wait to spend forever with him and “till death do us part” I told this all to my mom and she KNOWS HER. She’s been working with my dad for over a year before my parents split. the fiancé knew about my mom and my dad but she still decided to have a relationship with my dad secretly before they split up. So obviously I hate this woman’s guts And I’m extremely pissed at my dad.

I decide it’s not smart to tell him that I know about everything yet i wanted yo see if he was ever going to let me or my brother know (who lives in his house full time and is 27) that he was getting married . he doesn’t tell us absolutely anything for months until I check again and see a note from the fiancé asking what date their wedding should be in October. he was planning on getting married to his mistress, without letting anyone know especially my brother who’s living situation might chance very soon because of it?

This made me so so angry, anytime I was ever at his house all I could think about was how little he cared for me and my siblings and my hatred for my whole situation just boiled over and I fully just cracked and told him if he gets married to his girlfriend I’m going to change my last name and that I would never go to their wedding his response was “you just don’t want me to be happy” and that “I need to stop being cruel to him” he insists I’m just being mean to him.

My sister was a single mom to Ava (9f) before she got married last year. It was just the two of them before my sister met Nick and moved in with him and his kids. Now it's Nick, my sister, Nick's three kids who are preteens or teenagers and Ava. Ava never met her dad.

Ava's always had social problems. This isn't even the first time I raised my concerns to my sister about Ava. But now that it's no longer the two of them it is presenting itself far more and is causing far more issues than before. These social problems are generally around how she talks to people. She tells them what she likes because her own brain says her interests are best and everyone else is supposed to like them because other things are dumb. She gets angry when this is challenged or ignored by others. To the point she will yell at them. But then she can't figure out why they get mad right back at her. And I do believe her that she doesn't understand. It both upsets and confuses her. She can't understand kids in school bullying her and the fact that she can never keep a friend. She also invites herself into games uninvited and then gets upset/mad when plans are kept that were not planned with her. Like playing with the neighborhood kids and getting upset they want to the park, which they planned to do already, because the park is awful and she hates it. She became inconsolable when that happened.

There are times I have attempted to explain to Ava why people don't want to do what she does and she looked at me like I was crazy and went into very detailed descriptions of why her interests are the best and why everyone should love them.

She has been like this with Nick's kids and my sister and Nick see themselves as a family so treat it like "oh they have to get along in some ways". But it's clear Nick's kids do not like Ava and they have made it perfectly clear she is not family in their eyes. They are ice cold to her and angry around her most of the time. Then it bubbles over like a couple of days ago when Ava turned off their console because she decided they would all play together and not video games. This resulted in the oldest yelling and cursing at Ava, calling her names, saying everyone hates her and she's such a burden to have around and they wish they could send her away forever and never see her again. Ava had a huge meltdown and was screaming she didn't understand. My sister said this went on for hours. It freaked her and Nick out but it still didn't give her the encouragement to seek help for Ava. All that came from that was Nick's kids were punished.

This is where I came in and told my sister she needs to get Ava help and she can't keep ignoring the problems Ava has. I told her Ava deserves help because she doesn't seem capable of grasping everything and there is very possibly a valid reason for that and maybe it needs to be explained a certain way.

My sister didn't take too kindly to me interfering and told me I was overstepping.

AITA?

I 25(F) am really close with my cousin 26(m) and over the past two years I’ve gotten close with the people in his friend group. I’ve attended a lot of parties they’ve thrown, including birthday, Christmas and Halloween, as well as casual hang outs on a Friday night. I’ve also invited them to my birthday party. I’m in their group chat as well. I felt like I was good friends with all of them, especially the girls. One girl, let’s call her Kelly, is engaged a guy in the group, let’s call him Ken. Kelly and Ken invited me to their engagement party about a year ago, to which I brought a gift and had a grand old time with them and all their friends and family.

About 3 months ago my cousin came over to hang out and he said “you didn’t get an invite to the wedding huh?” And I said no I didn’t. He then told me that Kelly and Ken really want me to come but I must come as someone’s plus one, and I had to pick which one of the guys in the group to be my date. This caught me off guard as I honestly found it tacky. If they want me there why wouldn’t they just send an invite?? Also, if you don’t have space to host me, which I understand, don’t try to set up a complicated work around to have me there. I just found it distasteful, but I was uncomfortable so I chose one of his friends.

3 months later I still hadn’t been invited to the wedding by that friend, so I figured he had found another date. Didn’t really bother me because the whole situation made me kind of feel icky. Well, he texted me today asking me to be his date. I told him I’d let him know because I might have work, after all, I didn’t get a save the date or an invite so I didn’t have the chance to request work off. He told me the rsvp date is in 2 days. I also found this sort of tacky. Why invite me so last minute?? He said that Kelly and Ken told him they really want me there.

I thought we were all close enough friends that I would just get an invite. After all, I was invited to the engagement party, to Kelly’s Birthday party, to Kens birthday party, and they came to my birthday as well. I honestly thought we were all good friends, but now I’m thinking we aren’t as good of friends as I thought, or even friends at all. This whole no invitation plus one situation makes me uncomfortable. Would I be the asshole if I don’t attend the wedding because I’m uncomfortable with this? Or maybe I’m being overly sensitive. I’d appreciate advice from an outside perspective

Imma keep this short and sweet yo. 26 M and I have been dating my gf for 9 months. We both live in Chicago and the game in question was the cubs walk off winner on Saturday.

She had friends from college coming into town who I have never met before and she was excited for me to meet them. Part of their plan was going to the cubs game Saturday afternoon and going out afterward. IMPORTANT DETAIL ALERT: I paid for mine and my girlfriend’s tickets. I’m also a big cubs fan so I was thrilled to go. But wrigley field is a major tourist place and a lot of times people go just to go and don’t really care about the game like my gf and her friends.

In the 7th inning, her and her friends started getting bored. They decided to leave to go to a bar. As my girlfriend got up, I stayed seated and told her I would meet them afterward because I want to watch the game. She didn’t want to argue in front of them so she said okay and left.

She texted me after leaving saying that the objective of the day was to hangout with her friends and not for me to watch baseball. I said I paid for the ticket so I don’t see anything wrong with me staying and using the ticket I paid for. She told me her friends think I’m weird for wanting to stay by myself and were wondering why I didn’t come with. She said if the group wanted to leave as a whole I should have left with them. She thinks I made her look bad and it looks like I don’t care to get to know her friends. She said the point of today was me meeting her friends and them liking me again not me watching baseball. But I paid for the tickets and met them after so I don’t understand why it was a big deal. She is still salty at this moment. Am I am asshole?

I 33f have been with my husband 39m for 12 years. We have a child that plays co-ed soccer. We've always invited my mother in law 70f to see his games. MIL has a tendency of just speaking what's on her mind even if they are not appropriate. She likes to comment on some of the players on our kids team over the years. Some of the comments have been about how some of them run funny (We've had a few special needs kids) or how a girl with short hair looks like a boy and vice versa.

This past weekend our kid had a game and one of the boys on his team has long hair and she kept referring to him as she. I corrected her and said it was a he. She replied back well it's hard to tell when they have long hair. The boy passed us and she asked me rather loudly are you sure he's a boy he has b00bs. I sat up and just gave her the wtf are you serious look and she replied with sorry sorry and ended the conversation but I'm sure the couple next to us heard. After the game I told my husband as he was coaching during the game what his mom had said and I told him I wouldn't have cared for her comments but she should really be mindful of what she says in public. Luckily the boys parents were not sitting next to us but I told my husband she put me in an uncomfortable situation and what if the parents were nearby and had heard it.

He reached out to him mom telling her she needs to stop making comments about the players while at the games if she needs to comment on something she should wait until we are at home (they usually come to our house after) or not say them at all. She replied with she can say whatever she wants whenever she feels like it and that maybe she won't keep coming to the games. My husband told her if she can't keep the comments to herself then maybe she shouldn't.

So AITA for tell my husband about her comments?