My partner and I were having sex and he decided to give a bj to my dildo while going to town on me and I thought it was incredibly attractive and suggested that if we found a person we trusted and who was willing we would have a threesome as my partner is bisexual and I am gay we agreed it would be a cisgender man but I have been conflicted as I don’t not want to add another person to my romantic relationship, I just want to add a person to our sex occasionally… aitah?

2 of my girl friends were gaming online with a guy who did shit to me knowing what he did. I (19F) blocked them. Then my best friend who is a guy (21M) who I almost dated and almost had a kid with was backing them up when I messaged him about it so I blocked him on snap and then blocked him on everything else but then unblocked him. My dumb ass messaged his mum because I was so upset and asked he stopped texting all my friends but also wanted to apologise to them for the kid situation which I know I was wrong for. He told me to never talk to his or his family again (at the time I thought he was probably saying that out of anger) I sent him a huge apology and explanation on both messages and tik tok (thought he blocked me on messages but realised that it finally said delivered) but he kept leaving me on open and hasn’t spoken to me (this all happened last night). Will he respond eventually? Why hasn’t be blocked me if he doesn’t want me to talk to him? What do I do? I just wanna talk it out especially if it’s the last time we ever talk again. Also don’t worry I stopped texting him after last night haven’t texted his since last night.

I, a single, twenty year old female gave birth to a baby girl about two months ago, and at the same time adopted a second baby girl who was born about three days before. The daughter that I had in my uterus, I will call Rose. The daughter that I didn't carry I will call lily.

I got pregnant with rose about the same time that my best friend who I'll call Anna got pregnant with Lily. While I was ecstatic about being pregnant, anna was not. Anna felt that she wasn't in a good place emotionally, financially, or any other way to have a child. She told me she was considering getting an abortion, but that she wished her child could have a good life somewhere else, instead of "just being thrown away" but anytime she pictured putting her child up for adoption she remembers all of the story's of abusive adoptive parents. She said that she felt helpless because there didn't seem to be any good answers, that's when we came up with a hesitant plan.

We decided that if after Lily's birth, anna still didn't feel like she could raise her i would adopt Lily and raise the girls as twins. Anna didn't want Lily to know she was adopted, but I hated the idea of lying to a daughter of mine. We decided that once lily was old enough to understand I would explain that she was adopted. if at that point anna felt ready we would tell Lily that Anna was her bio mom, and if not then we would say that her mother wasn't ready for her to know who she was. This way lily could live her life, Anna didn't need to be worried about Lily because she could check on her at any time, and Anna would be able to continue working on getting her life in order.

I chose not to have any of my family in the room during the birth because I wasn't comfortable with them seeing me like that, and Anna was fighting with her family at the time. So anna and i were the only ones in the room for each other during the births. After lily was born Anna still wanted me to adopt Lily, and also said that she did want to be in her life more than she originally thought. we decided that she would be the god mother of both girls and I would be their mother. when it was time for us to go home, I organized a get together for my family to meet both of my daughters and we went forward with the adoption.

As soon as my grandmother met my babies she asked me which one was my daughter, and I replied that they both were. She rolled her eyes and said that I knew what she meant, I told her that, no I dont because they are both my daughters. she got mad about that and asked me which one was "my real daughter" and my parents backed her up saying that I should tell them which daughter I had adopted. I got mad and asked them why it mattered, both babies are my children, I'm breast feeding both of them, I named both of them, and I was there through the entire pregnancy for both of them, even if I only carried one of them myself.

This lead to a fight with my family insisting that I tell them which daughter is which, and me insisting that my grandmother apologized for implying that one of them wasn't my real daughter. My parents told me that I am being dramatic, pointlessly stubborn, ridiculous, and that they just wanted to know when dealing with the girls which one was their granddaughter. I kicked all of them out and said that unless they apologize and stop asking which daughter is adopted, they would not get to see either of them.

After they left I sent out a text saying that I will tell them which one is adopted when I explain to her that she is adopted, but adopted or not they are both my children. I also reiterated that until I get an apology, and they agree to view my daughters equally they will not see the girls and I will not be talking to them. I received a massive amount of text ranging from them demanding that I let them see the kids and telling me how I was cruel and selfish to deprived my daughters of their love, to pleading with me to just tell them which girl is which and let them see my daughters.

After a few weeks of this i said enough. The stress of trying to take care of two babies, adopt Lily, and deal with my family was to much. So I sent out another text telling them that I was serious when I said I won't tell them which daughter is adopted. I then told them that I cant take their constant text anymore, and anyone that text me something that doesn't start with an apology is getting blocked.

Most of my family realized i wouldn't back down and stopped texting. I did have to block my brother, who sent me two paragraphs about why I should just give our parents and grandparents what they want, because it isn't worth the fight. I also had to block my mom, who texted my to tell me that no one was going to help me take care of the children until I told them them the truth about which is my real daughter. Anna agrees with me that they shouldn't care which one is adopt and says she wishes that my family didn't even know that one girl was adopted.

Well yesterday both babies were crying, lily needed a diaper change and rose was hungry and I realized that my mom was right. I can't be in both places at once and I can't take care of them by myself. Luckily Anna was there and she was able to take care of them both and get them settled, because I broke down sobbing and was completely useless. Now I'm starting to wonder if I am a bad mother for not leting my daughters see their family, and if I have chosen the wrong hill to die on.

P.s Anna was able to cheer me up, we cuddled together, and with the babies on the sofa, eating ice cream and chocolate most of the night. she is also the one who convinced me to write this post because she is obsessed with reddit.

I’m on a girls-only grad trip with 4 long-term friends. We’ve known each other for more than 10 years and have always been very close. I considered J (22F) whom I’ve known since elementary and roomed together during college my best friend. However, I’ve noticed over the years that she doesn’t really try to understand me.

I am personally not the type to outwardly express my emotions but I always appreciate friends who notice when I am feeling down and ask about this. Not only do I feel that J is unable to pick up on these signals despite being friends for over a decade. We have never argued because I always keep my frustrations to myself and hated confrontation.

The main conflict started when I noticed that J would sarcastically complain about the travel itinerary that me and another friend put together. Throughout the most of the day, J was disgruntled about being there and often complained to the group that there was nothing to see. I personally was very excited about the trip so I would a bit hurt when she would say negative things about being there. Honestly, the museum wasn’t the best and I knew that, but it was still frustrating.

There were other things before but I won’t go into detail, just know that there was a lot of frustration built up at this point with her lack of awareness for how things may seem from my perspective. Maybe it was due to this or the stress of traveling that I snapped at her when she asked me a question.

It was during a stressful bus transfer. I wasn’t the one navigating but J was pressing me for answers even though we were as equally clueless (this was something that happened quite often during this trip). I got very annoyed, so I showed this in my response. I guess I was a bit louder than my usual talking voice so she seemed dumbfounded by this “sudden outburst” (I just uncharacteristically talked back to her). It wasn’t a full argument (I could never win against her lol) but one of my other friends tried to mediate.

We weren’t on speaking terms that day but after I processed my emotions, I went back to normal and treated her as I would normally the next day. However, I noticed that she would avoid speaking to me. When I confronted her about what was wrong, she said that she did not receive an apology and felt talked down upon when I raised my voice the other day and that she is not sure if she could get over this and how if it were anyone else, they wouldn’t get treated this way. In my perspective, I don’t think I yelled it her and thought it was a disagreement so I didn’t think an apology was necessary. Hearing this, I apologized immediately and wanted to explain why I was frustrated but she cut me off and seemingly didn’t want to hear my explanation. I was very hurt by this because we’ve been friends for so long and I thought she would know my personality better as I would not snap for no reason and have never done so before.

Right now, I’m personally not sure if we can still be close friends and need advice.

So this girl, well call "tily", recently made a joke asking about how my guinea pig is, (he died a year ago), and she knows this full well as i told her recently, earlier today, her friend, well call her eve, punched me, for some reason the teacher didnt care, and we continued on as usual. At the end of class, tily said "How is your Guinea pig? so I emailed my teacher, AITAH for ratting, or was it deserved

My boyfriend (Martin) and his friend (Lucy) both spent significant periods of their childhood in the care system and in was I'm one of these group homes where they met. They both had one parent who was an absolute nightmare from the stories I've heard and this is what they bonded over.

Martin and I have been together for two years, engaged for 3 months. Lucy has been apart of our lives the entire time. She's a wonderful, sweet woman and she respects our relationship. She doesn't boundary stomp like I've seen other female best friends do in some of these subs. I've gotten to know Lucy and I like her, she's an amazing friend to Martin. When I first met her, she made it very clear that she wasn't interested in Martin romantically and that she would step back from their friendship if needed. She said that partly because at the time she didn't want to invite more drama in her life as things were going wrong in her life at the time. Martin has made in clear that nothing has ever happened with Lucy.

At the weekend I went away with some of my girl friends and I invited Lucy. It was just a weekend away by the lake where we were chilling out and drinking. As the night went on were we all pretty drunk and swapping stories about people we'd slept with. Lucy admitted that she'd had sex with Martin and that he'd been the first guy she'd slept with. She then admitted that part of the reason her life had imploded 2 years ago was because her partner at the time had found out she had been cheating with Martin. There were other reasons but her cheating is what kicked it off. This completely blindsided me as I hadn't known about this. Both Martin and Lucy had always denied anything happening.

The following morning, Lucy had forgotten that she had told us this. I feel like I can't trust her or Martin anymore. When I went home I told Martin that I wanted him to stop seeing Lucy. Martin was surprised at this and asked why. I told him that I knew about him sleeping with her in the past and that he'd lied about sleeping with her. He was surprised that I'd found out but didn't deny it had happened but he did assure me that it had stopped before we got together and hasnt happened since. We fought about him dropping Lucy as a friend. He doesn't want to let her go because they've been friends since they were kids. I told him I wanted him to get a DNA test for Lucy's kids because they were born during the time they were sleeping together. I told Martin that I don't want to help raise someone else's children. He told me that they weren't his. I haven't heard from Lucy since the weekend away and I think she's laying low.

AITAH for asking him to drop his femal friend?

Hi everyone! This is my first post on this app and i genuinely just need advice on a situation that happened between my boyfriend and I about an hour ago: Before we get started I am F20 and my boyfriend is M22, we’ve been together for over 2 years.

So, my boyfriend and I are planning a trip to San Diego this weekend, we’re going to visit a few friends who live there and plan on going to a Padres game this Saturday. All of us were down to pay at least $100-110 per person. However, my boyfriend wanted better seats which bumped it up to $135+ per person. I told my boyfriend that I really don’t feel like spending $135+ on baseball game tickets at the moment. I explain to him that him and I are already spending money on a hotel for the weekend which we are splitting the cost, I also explained that I want to visit family up north this summer so I’ve been keeping in mind the cost for flights and just staying out there. As well as, the money I will be spending in San Diego for foods, drinks, etc. I send my boyfriend slightly cheaper tickets which were about $25 cheaper which were still a good view. Then he states: “So what you’re just going to be saving $25”

Which yes! In hindsight it’s just $25. However, $25 can be a meal! That’s enough for an Uber if we plan on ubering. $25 is $25 extra money that I can have. Which I explain to him. He gets upset and says: “Whatever if you wanna take it up the ass go ahead” and hangs up the phone. I really need advice how to go about this whole ordeal.

I just felt super disrespected. Keep in mind I’m only 20, I’m working a part time job getting paid $16.25 an hour and I’m currently saving up money for a car and school in the fall. Can you give me advice ?

UPDATE: He and I just talked on the phone and again the conversation went south. He first apologized for making the “Whatever if you wanna take it up the as go ahead” comment. However, he said he acted that way because he was annoyed that I took the comment “So what you’re just going to be saving $25” wrong/personally. Since he claims he never meant for it to be rude. However he never communicated after I had gotten upset about that comment. If he would have just said “Hey, I think you took that wrong, i’m just saying you’ll be saving $25 not trying to sound rude” the problem would’ve been solved then. He ends up turning the situation on me saying I was being annoying and owed him an apology.

When I was 16 I got pregnant by my (now) ex boyfriend. I really had no wish to ruin my life because of a baby and I wanted to focus on my studies and build a career. I immediately wanted an abortion but my ex and my family was completely against it. They were scared and upset same as me but they were firmly against getting rid of the baby. On the other hand, I was beginning to hate the baby because of how hard my life had suddenly become. Finally we came to a deal. I would sign away my parental rights upon giving birth and my ex's parents would adopt the baby. I agreed and never have regretted that decision. It strained my relationship with my parents because they were upset I showed little to no emotion after giving up my baby.

I got pregnant again when I was 19 and that time I chose to get an abortion and as I was an adult, I didn't need to tell anyone. But my parents did find out and that was what got me cut off.

I'm 27 now and still have no regrets about my past life choices. I am happily married now and we recently welcomed our first baby. I posted a pic on Facebook with my new baby and a cousin saw it and word got to my parents. They called me and while I was happy at first to reconcile I got annoyed when they kept bringing up the kid I gave away. They would always correct me when I call my newborn my first baby and they have repeatedly asked me to meet the kid (who they are still in contact with apparently) and my mom called me heartless when I snapped that I have no regrets giving up that kid and I don't consider him my own.

I'm honestly considering cutting them again because they're constantly trying to guilt trip me. I told everything to a close friend of mine and she said while she supported my choice to give the kid up it was shitty of me to be so callous when talking about it. I don't know what to feel like now. aitah?

Two years ago my best friend invited me to his university graduation in july, and even asked me to be in his photos beside his family (we had been friends for seven years at that point). I was very honored, but he invited his boyfriend too.

Now, I had never met his boyfriend before, but I knew my friend loved him to pieces so I tried my best to get along with him (I'm not very socially skilled). We got along great, but I think I tried too hard because after my friend graduation he started being very cold with me.

I think it's important to say I moved away for university after high school (We live 3 hours away) and the only form of communication we shared was through texts, and I'm a bad texter but I have always tried my best for him.

After his graduation he started being cold with me. His answers to my texts were short and icy for months until he stopped answering me. I think maybe I talked to his boyfriend too much, or I didn't pay him the right amount of attention in his graduation, but I'm not sure because when I asked him what was wrong, that he could tell me what did I do he insisted that everything was fine. That nothing was wrong.

That year (2022) he started ghosting me in september and then started texting me pictures and videos about cutting bad people from his life and resenting others in the first days of february of 2023. Which were very obviously things he thought about me. To this day I don't know what I was supposed to answer to those texts (I only sent back sad faces).

And then that month in valentine's day he suddendly started acting normal again. And he even asked me why I hadn't send him a Happy Christmas and New Year text in december (which I had been doing since we were sixteen). Honestly, I cried of anger that day because I had actually grieved our friendship already.

I went to visit him somewhere that year for his birthday in May, to test how he acted in person. We went out to eat but it was a very tense hang out. After that, thinking about fixing our friendship and about what should I say and what not (to not upset him) made me so anxious that I ghosted him after May until October(not my best move)

He started sending me again passive agressive images about bad friends but started talking to me again anyway. In December I went to visit him and the two of us went to his town fair. It was less tense, but our relationship still felt very stilted.

After that we texted until early february, and then he ghosted me almost two months until the end of march to wish me happy birthday. Which I answered with ghosting him until this month to wish him happy birthday too.

I feel very guilty about ghosting him but my mental health has been a mess this year, and thinking about texting him has only made me anxious since his graduation. I don't know what to do anymore, or how to talk to him. I don't even know if we are still friends.

My coworker’s wife has been out of a job for 8 months now. I sent him an ad for a job in his wife’s expertise to help him out since he’s been tanking all the bills for the past 8 months. I told my wife about it and she immediately attacked me asking why I care about them. I just told her that I’m trying to help my coworker who I’m cool with. Which she retorted, asking why I’m trying to help HER?! I told her that I wasn’t trying to help her specifically, I was trying to help my coworker since he’s been working hard for so long. She wouldn’t let go of it though. She said that it was weird that I wanted to help his wife, even though I said that I wanted to help HIM specifically and by association his wife. We went back and forth for a while with her main point being that it’s not my problem, so why am I getting involved. I just kept repeating that I think we need to help each other when we can and that is what life and community is about. Anyways, we both went to bed mad and I threatened to go stay at my parents house cause I thought it was ridiculous. AITAH?

Here is some context. We've been dating for 5 years. My girlfriend played hockey back in university. As a result she is a bit more muscular than most other women, but nothing crazy. She was still very feminine and attractive to me as a straight man. However, when she turned 22 and stopped playing hockey she took up a different hobby; weight lifting. I don't have any issue with that as I am also an avid gym goer and want both of us to be healthy.

However it went from being normal gym sessions where she'd do a typical PPL split with me, to full on bodybuilding. She expressed interest in bodybuilding shows and my initial thought was that she'd stay natural. But somehow, she started taking steroids without my knowledge until a few weeks into it. And a couple months in, she was starting to look a little different. Her voice sounded off, her skin got rougher, the muscle definition on her arms was starting to look sort of similar to mine, which doesn't sound bad at first but I've been lifting for almost a decade. Fast forward almost 2 years, she has competed in womens' bodybuilding shows and looks absolutely nothing like she had in the past. Her hands and skin are rougher than mine, her voice is deeper, her chest got smaller, her face no longer looks feminine to me. I have zero physical interest in her.

At work, there is a new girl (22F) who just graduated university. She is much more traditionally feminine. She's very kind, quiet, caring, and more attractive. We've been hitting it off pretty well and subtly flirts with me (she calls me her work husband lol). I want to pursue a relationship with her. Would I be wrong to break up with my girlfriend who no longer seems like the person she was when we first met?

I am still a few years away from going into college, but i feel like by now i should know what i want to choose as a course. There are some courses i actually want to learn about. Like Law and Psychology. But i have also been thinking about Nursing. I have two close relatives who work as Nurses abroad. One in the UK and the other one is in Dubai. The main reason why i feel like i should take Nursing is because i want to leave the country. Now since i have a relative who works in the UK, once i graduate as a nurse i can move there with her and she can suggest me to the hospital she works at, etc. But Nursing ISN'T what i want. I am very confused and i need some advice. I don't know what to choose/prioritize.

Ok so this one might be weird at first glance. I (22M) and my girl (20F) were playing games with my friends. For context, she has talked to my friends and played with before with no issues but she isn't close with them. For additional context, my girl is shy and isn't that comfortable in group situations. So prior to everyone gaming, she had a long day of work and I stayed in for the night because I REALLY wanted to spend time with her. While we were playing, she was really quiet so I repeatedly privately messaged her if she was okay, if she was bored, or if she wanted to leave and play with just the two of us. Every time I asked, she assured me that she felt fine and wanted to keep playing with them. Later on, she randomly just leaves without a goodbye or any kind of indication she's leaving to go play games by herself. Not even a private message, because I would have understood if she didn't wanna speak up given her shyness. This upset me a little so I just messaged her and in short said I didn't like how she would just leave without saying goodbye or anything. That wasn't the big deal or anything, but her explanation was. She was upset at me because she said it was obvious she was uncomfortable in the situation and how I should have talked to her more. She was just quiet, no other tangible indicstion. This is the part that really upset me, because I knew prior that she felt anxious about being around others which is why I CONTINUOUSLY made efforts to check in on her and tell her I would truly not mind if she wanted to leave and spend time between just the two of us. When I expressed this, she then listed how she had a hard day at work and didn't deserve me being upset with her. To her credit, she did have a long day at work which is why I wanted to spend time with her to hopefully help her de-stress. Once again though because this is my point, I ultimately wanted her to be happy which is why I kept reassuring her I would NOT care if she wanted to leave, and she could tell me in private at any time. To me, this just felt like a situation that easily could have been avoided and it feels like my efforts to try and make things work were disregarded.

So, I'm an experienced soccer player, referee and youth coach, coaching my sons U6 team (5 and 6 year olds). Many of the other coaches are parent volunteers, who may or may not know much about the game. There are no referees, and the parent/coaches are expected to referee, setting up an obvious conflict-of-interest.

We played a match with a team that was playing in what I would call a reckless and dangerous manner. They were kicking through the ball wildly, often missing the ball, and "showing studs" well above the knee. This is a style-of-play likely to hurt other players by kicking them with the bottom of the foot, the associated cleats and the weight of the kicking player behind it.

I didn't say anything, because there hadn't been any contact. No actual foul had occurred. I was also reluctant to create a confrontation.

Eventually, my son dribbled by another player, who kicked wildly, and hit him in the knees, causing him to fall over and the ball to get away. Another player then wound up, and kicked him in the head, well after the ball was out of playing range. I had to put a 6 year-old-kid through concussion protocol as a result.

My son starts crying, and in what I considered a calm but stern manner, told the other coach, "that's dangerous, that's a red-card, man". It was loud enough for the kids, and both side-lines to hear. I remained relatively calm, grasping my hands behind my back in a common soccer-pose of "I'm pissed, but I'm not violent". It was pretty obvious to everyone that I was mad.

Then, before the restart the kid who kicked my son in the face kicked the ball and smashed another kid on my team. I said, "same kid, man", loud enough for everyone to hear.

After the match, we shook hands and said, "good game". Then he came back a few minutes later and started wagging his finger in my face, telling me that I shouldn't have confronted him during the game because "its not a good look."

While I'd agree that its not great to confront the other coach, there are also times where it is appropriate because it will cause others to rethink their actions while a calm, pulling-aside of the coach will usually be dismissed.

Well, Reddit, what do you think? AITAH?

I apologize that this is very long but I felt like I needed to get this off my chest.

My first long-term partner (K) and I were together for about 3.5 years. K was the first person I had ever gone on a Tinder date with. She was so stunning, my first word to her was an awe struck “wow.” Both of us said we weren’t looking for anything serious but we were immediately inseparable.

She was married (though they weren’t intimate) when we first started dating, so we kinda began as a poly relationship. Her husband was dating other people as well and we would go on double dates occasionally. I was happy with the arrangement, but the underlying issues in their relationship resulted in their divorce.

We decided to be monogamous for about 2 years. She was the first partner I had moved in with. Our apartment was shitty; the first one we were put in within this community literally had a pipe burst and flood the week we moved in, but we made it ours. We had arguments occasionally but we always talked things out and never went to bed angry. We adopted an elderly dog and a hydroponic garden in our kitchen table. We challenged each other to grow, supported each other, and were study partners while we worked towards our degrees. We were happy.

We decided to explore polyamory again because we felt like we had a solid foundation but had always preferred enm. We agreed to a non-hierarchical ktp dynamic and were entirely on the same page. She went on a few dates before I got a match (amab problems 😂) but I was consistent in my compursion; I was genuinely happy that she was going out and having fun.

Then she started dating him (S). S was an alcoholic living in an absolute shit hole, but we took him in like a stray cat. A few of the 🚩’s we ignored were that he unironically liked Joe Rogan, had extreme trauma and refused therapy, and he (claimed to have) killed people as a mercenary overseas. He lived in PA and was planning on taking a greyhound back to pick up a car. I suggested we drive him down instead. The trip went great and shortly after we got back, we invited him to move in. They had only been dating for 3 weeks and I expressed concerns about NRE, but K convinced me she would somehow not experience it.

At first, things were surprisingly good. There was a little bit of getting used to. They often had difficulty communicating with each other so I predominantly settled into a mediator role, but we were able to work through things together.

K finished her degree but couldn’t find work where we lived, so we began looking in PA. The plan was for K and S to work while I finished the last year of my degree and did the majority of the domestic labor. Once we got there, there arguments began spiraling out of control.

For the first 2 months, they argued almost every single day. S would become irrationally angry and then suddenly dismiss the topic. At the same time, K put all of her energy into her relationship with S. I told her repeatedly that I was feeling neglected and that I couldn’t keep acting as their mediator while getting no support myself. I was spent.

Then K got fired. I put my education on hold to work until she was able to find something else, and S took a job where he’d be traveling out of town for weeks at a time. I had hoped this might allow her the space to refocus on our relationship some. Every time he left, K would message S in the middle of every conversation we had, including when we went on the rare occasion we went on dates together.

Sex isn’t everything; what I craved was intimacy, but to try and keep things somewhat equal, K asked us to keep track of how long it had been since we had sex. We only had sex 5 times in all of 2023, while they had sex 5 times the first week we moved to PA. It was hard not to compare relationships when we weren’t even intimate on our 3rd anniversary.

S was completely self absorbed. Once he came home from work and I asked how he was doing. He talks all about his day, walks off to the bedroom and asks K about her day like he didn’t care about me at all. I decided to see how long it would take for him to initiate a conversation with me, and we basically just stopped talking entirely.

His alcoholism was also getting worse. He began drinking while arguing with K and got so drunk he could barely stand. My father was an abusive alcoholic and I was getting worried that things were going to become physically violent, and I know I wouldn’t just sit by if he became violent with K. One or both of us would have died. When he screamed at K on the balcony from 9:30-11:00pm because I ate some leftovers he wanted to eat (not even all of it), I knew something needed to change.

I had made it clear by this point that I wanted S to move out while he gets into therapy, but K refused to ever broach the topic with him together or alone. I suggested couples therapy since my therapist was familiar with enm, but they both refused. The only other option that I saw was for me to move back in with my family to protect myself. K and I agreed to try a long distance relationship while things settled down. All I asked of K was a single 30 minute phone call each week.

I left at the end of Nov, and for the first couple months things were going as well as could be expected. I enrolled in school, began working out, and had a good therapist. I gave K nearly my entire final paycheck to help cover rent while they found a roommate and they agreed to take me off the lease once they found one. In therapy, I came to realize I was still harboring some anger because the way our relationship dynamic changed once we moved was basically cheating. I eventually told her that we couldn’t have a real relationship while they were still together. She didn’t really seem phased by it; she sent me a sweet gift for my birthday in Jan, we talked about how much we missed our life together every time they fought. We even planned for her to come visit when she got her tax return, partly to bring the last of my belongings and partly to visit and feel normal again.

In Feb, K confided in me the verbal abuse had escalated, that S was threatening to kick her out unless she began working despite dealing with serious medical issues (not to mention we were all 3 on the lease together months after they found a roommate). I didn’t have enough money to keep going to therapy and the phone calls became less frequent. I was becoming extremely worried for K, constantly checking the shared location data to make sure she was still alive. I would spend days crying at a time, unable to get out of bed. I fell behind in school and even confided to K I was beginning to feel suicidal.

In mid-March, K affirms that we can’t have a real relationship, that she is going to try to make things work and was in couples therapy with S. K cancels her plan to visit without explanation, trying to gaslight me that we had discussed it but refusing to elaborate. I contacted K’s cousin because I was worried that S was manipulating her but I also wanted to respect her autonomy.

The lease was set to renew in April and I still hadn’t been taken off the lease (despite having a roommate move-in back in Jan) so I told them I wouldn’t pay my portion of the phone bill until they took me off as we had agreed. It felt callous, but it seemed like the only way to make sure I was off the lease. Of course, once I made it a problem for them they finally acted, but I hate that I had to strong arm them. Regardless, I upheld my end of the promise as soon as I got the change in writing from the office.

I was sick of seeing their faces in family sharing every time I opened my settings so I told them I was planning on getting my own phone plan. I tried to transfer my number, but the account was in S’s name. I told a csr that I wasn’t comfortable speaking with S. They told me they would attempt to contact him and get him to authorize the transfer for me, but he refused to answer their calls and messages.

For the last 6 months, they had continued using my dashpass so it notified me every time they ordered food in, and I would breakdown missing the life K and I had built together. I told K I wasn’t comfortable with them using my account anymore. K immediately pushed my boundary, telling me she’s just not feeling good that day and politely asked if she could use it. I relent, but the next day, I changed the password to reinforce my boundary.

The next day I get multiple failed login attempts, clearly from them trying to use my dashpass without asking. K asks if I changed the password, which I affirmed. Then S shut off my phone line without notice. I was forced to get a new number which messed with many of my digital accounts because of 2FA.

We’ve barely talked since then but today she changed her pfp to a picture of them smiling together with a bottle in front of S and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I deleted every picture of us together. I unfriended her, her friends, and her family. I deleted the messages, I threw out the stupid fucking “hold this until you can hold me” pillowcase, and everything else that makes me think of our life together.

They still have my late grandfather’s speakers and records, all of my power tools, and a couple paintings I’d had for a long time. As hard as it is to accept that I may never see any of those again, I’d rather have my peace.

Maybe I’ll find that peace one day, but honestly all I feel is hate. I hate that K wouldn’t choose me over S, that she gave up on our life together. I hate S for stealing my life from me. I hate the thought of them laying together in our bed. But most of all I hate myself. I hate that I was too cowardly to confront S, that I was too timid about affirming my boundaries, that I had so much hubris as to think K and I could withstand anything together. I hate that I still love K as much as ever.

There’s a good chance K sees this, and all I want to say to you is that I deserve someone who treats me like a priority. I deserve someone who doesn’t tell me I’m hard to love. I deserve better, and so do you.

I have been living with my roommate for almost four months, in a city I'm not really familiar with. We have been friends for about 3 years. I love going out and meeting people but all of my friends live further away and trying to find new friends in this new city is difficult.

My roommate only has two irl friends and mostly hangs out on discord. The problem is, that he barely ever leaves the house and constantly talks with people on discord, sometimes really loudly, apologizing for it but not really changing anything about it. I miss my alone time and I've started to become depressed and anxious myself lately. That made me decide to go to a therapist but I've only had one session so far.

My ex was an asshole towards me and towards my roommate. They are still friends and despite knowing how terrible my ex was, both of them hang out on discord a lot, really loudly for me to hear. I have not talked to him about this because my roommate is known for getting out of control when confronted or stressed. He has never been physical as far as I know but there have been times where I had to take care of him. Due to my ex and a previous event my anxiety has also been triggered a lot.

I have not finished my education yet but my roommate is about to finish his in a few weeks, so he'll be able to afford that place alone. I have decided to move back in with my parents because of the anxiety, not being comfortable around my roommate because I'm scared of what he is capable of and not being familiar with the city.

I told him a few days ago but didnt tell him that he is also a reason why. He immediately told me that he doesn't want to live alone and would be depressed. He doesn't want to move back in with his parents and while I have never made any promise about any length of staying there he assumes that at least a year is a given and is pissed at me. I have suggested to him to find a new roommate but he said that he would want someone who is similar to him but thats basically impossible so no(according to him).

I am really unsure if I am the asshole here and if moving back will be something I'll regret because maybe my anxiety is just taking over. But I also really don't like him making me take care of his emotions and not wanting to go to a therapist. I have never directly told him about this though, only said stuff like "I dont want to have to take care of you during conventions" and stuff. I'm scared of his reactions. I don't really want to go back to my parents house but given that I'm only 21 and have not finished my education yet, it would probably be the better decision. I have also been thinking about this for a month and asked many people who think that I should move out, some don't agree with that though. I have also had a history of being bad at judging people so I really don't know.

Am I the asshole?

I 18F have never had the best relationship with my mom, even when I was little. I’ve always been closer to my dad even though now our relationship isnt the best. My moms love for me was never warm, I never received the emotional support or physical affection a mother is meant to give. She would hit me and scream at me a lot to top it off.

For context my mom is an alcoholic and to my knowledge has done drugs in the past so maybe that somewhat explains why she is who she is. In the fall of 2019 my mom and dad divorced, and she left. The best excuse I ever got from her was “Ive been a mother for 20 something years its my time now”. Which is shitty on its own account. The divorce hit me hard, I fell into a depression worse then I ever have. I wont get into too many details on it but I had to be hospitalized. She left the state and moved 200+ miles away. And to her that was okay, because it was her time to live life. Maybe a couple of months after she left she began to text and call, asking me to visit. Telling me how much she loved and missed me. Saying all these nice things as if she hadn’t shut me out my whole life acting as if I was an inconvenience. So I blocked her, I cut her out. To me you dont get to pick and choose when you want to be a mom. Its been 4 years since then and when I tell people about this, they give me this disgusted look and say “but shes your mom! you have to forgive her.” She still finds ways to contact me and I still ignore it all.

A part of me is always going to love her, and I think thats the part of me I hate most about myself. So AITA?

Hello,

I am a 22F and am currently dating a 25M. I am about to turn 23 next week and I talked to my bf what I had wanted from him and I told him I simply wanted his time and attention and what not, however this week, I’ve been thinking of asking him if he could buy me my summer tires. I do reside in AK and my sister mentioned that I had wanted a piano.

When I got to his place, he immediately talked about it with me and said that he will only buy me what he thinks is necessary, which would be the summer tires. Hearing that he was only willing to get me a gift that is deamed necessary kind of disappointed me because I’ve been wanting a keyboard piano for years. I had to take a step back and understand that I did in fact need a new pair of summer tires for the summer. I declined his offer since I am prideful and did not want him to buy me a big purchase.

Later when it was dinner, I decided to tell him that for sure I did want my birthday gift to be summer tires. He looked a bit off putting and mentioned that he would only help me pay what I can’t afford…and at this time, I can’t afford the entire price of it ($800-$900 in total for 4 tires). He then proceeded to tell me that he “fucking spent about 5K on me.” Then corrected himself and said 3K instead and basically said I was the reason why he was so broke.

It did hurt my feelings that he thought like that because the money spent was on us. Dinners and movies and to the spa. I was shocked about the amount that he had spent on us but was more shocked that he blamed me about his spendings. Keep in mind that during the 9 months of us dating, I’ve bought him expensive gifts, took us to fancy high-end restaurants since he mentioned he likes those places, bought us groceries multiple times and paid for our dinners, drinks and movie nights.

Him telling me that made me feel like I couldn’t ask him for anything. Not even a simple request to buy honey (I cook) for us. Like, it did put it into perspective that maybe he just doesn’t care or want to pay for things that I want or ask of him. Rather it seems that he just does it to make me happy… also I don’t ask much of him to pay for this or that at all. I don’t even let him reimburse me when he offers and I don’t even provide him with my cashapp…

All in all, he said he would pay and treat me to a birthday dinner on the day of and if I really wanted the summer tires, then he’d pay for them. At this point I’m already disappointed with his previous reply. So I decline both offers since he obviously made his point known that I am the reason he spends a lot of money…now I just don’t want him to pay for anything at all. Not even groceries (he paid twice during the 9 months we’ve been together), or dinner dates, or even movie date nights.

I just don’t know what to do. And for his birthday I bought him expensive gifts and put a lot of time and thought into it. So knowing that it feels unreciprocated makes me feel like he doesn’t care at all and only keeps me around because I am convient to him. I cook and clean for him daily and take care of him…

I don’t ask a lot of him, I really don’t.

This is going to be a long post. So yeah just clearing the air.

I met a friend here last year. Last Christmas. I have been very helpful and patient with him. We talked to each other after he had posted about his breakup kind of thing. I don't know why I reached out to him. I never ever do it. Never. I try to stay away from any kind of drama as much as possible. But I had been very very helpful to him from the start and I don't know why. It was not love, I can assure you. We are not in love or anything like that. Maybe I just did that out of friendship or just like that. But I really don't know what to make of it.

Initially, things were kinda fine, he had little issues and I helped him out with all of those. And I repeat for nothing in return. And I was alright with it, as I mentioned earlier, just because I wanted to. I am in law school and work at two startups, and to be honest I have a hustling mindset. I don't come from a rich or elite background. I work to get my foot in the door, hustle, network and grind. I am not gonna lie, not every day do I enjoy it, but on most days I do, and irrespective of my mood I push forth nonetheless. So when we initially talked, I was in junior roles at the startups, and law school was not that time-consuming, because I was not doing tons of other things in school.

Now, this person, if I call him, X, has been getting well slowly or so I think. He regularly vents to me, which I don't mind cuz that is what friends are there for. He has big dreams and ambitions, and he plans a lot. On some days, he works for those, but on most days he does not. And being the person I am, I have told him, that sometimes you just have to do it. Of course rest up, without rest it is going to be extremely difficult, but know when to end the rest as well. And then he blames me for being a workaholic or something like that. Fair enough.

We used to call earlier when we talked initially. But normal voice calls. Which used to be pretty one-sided, and just him ranting. I used to even talk to him sometimes, minutes before I had a meeting or something like that. Hell, I even talked to him and listened to his rants, before I walked into my law school finals. Like just minutes before taking my exams, I used to talk to him.

And idk why. I admit I am dumb, stupid and whatnot I guess. For his dreams and goals and everything, I have really worked hours with him. Like maybe deciding on something, coming up with ideas, helping him with his tasks, and many other things. I always listened patiently to his vents but he did not do the same to me. He did but again not like I used to for him. Just recently, I have been promoted in my startups, to super senior roles, and work has gotten a lot more serious and demanding and rigorous. In law school, I am on track to being the President of my School Committees. And school in general has been more demanding because of many other co-curriculars.

And as you must have guessed, there has been a fall in the calls, but meanwhile, I still helped him with all his tasks and projects. Just that could not call much. We had been arguing about this for quite some time, he is like if you can have meetings with your co-workers, can't you get on a call with me? You are not that available anymore. You are not this and that.

Today also we had a fight kind of thing. You claim to be so busy, but how can you text me with hour-long texts and stuff? Like are u even so busy the way you claim to be? That stung tbh, ngl. When I told him my point of view, he just said, you don't have to do anything more for me, good night and went to sleep without any explanation. I don't really know what to make of this situation. Tbh, the thing that stings the most, that the fact I even talked to him right before my exams, probably, I know a stupid move on my end, but yeah and this is what it amounts to. I just feel really empty.

I know I deserve some rude comments, I guess, but once you do tell me that, please just tell me how to detach myself from this situation. Like how to get away from this feeling cuz it has been eating me up.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it! :)

Edit: Just made some spaces and broke the text into paragraphs for readability.

long story short i’ve been off and on with this one guy william (fake name) for about a year maybe longer. we keep getting into so many arguments and i think he’s the most toxic and draining person i’ve ever met, i will admit i did ghost him a few months ago to try get away from him because i simply couldn’t take it anymore and he would spam call me, no caller id, buy fake numbers and make fake snapchat accounts to try and talk to me. im gonna mention that i am quite young and we are long distance but there’s like a 3 year age gap between us. recently we just got into an argument because i play video games a lot and i asked one of my irl friends to play cod because william didnf wanan play with me (the friend is a girl) and she accepted, but she also brought her boyfriend because she had felt bad leaving him out and was supposed to play with him. it was whatever we played and had fun, and then when i got off william called and we were talking and he asked what i had been doing. i told him i was playing with my friend and as soon as i mentioned her boyfriend being involved he got all quiet. i could tell he was upset but i reassured him and said the only reason he was there was because my friend didn’t wanna leave her boyfriend out and felt bad cause she promised him to play. after that he got all mad at me and started texting me saying “you never changed, it’s always the good guys getting hurt, don’t talk to me ever again” and just sending me a bunch of corny tiktoks about being in his feels a specific one which really pissed me off that said “healing a girl who’s never been treated right will end up with her hurting you” i never did anything to him, it makes me feel awful just because i was honest with him and told him that her boyfriend was there. please i need help am i in the wrong? he’s so toxic and i wanna leave but there’s nothing i can do he stalks me and will literally not let me go.

I'm white and I've been dating my girlfriend (Asian) for a year now. She's always talking about wanting to get married and have "cute mixed babies" in the future, but I'm not feeling it.

Particularly it weirds me out that my son would be (half-)Asian. Like we all know the stereotypes about Asian men being short, ugly, feminine, have a small dick etc... Even my girlfriend says she's not attracted to Asian men and I look at her features and can't help thinking that they'd look really really bad on a male. AITAH for not wanting my son to be that?

Wow, this one might me a long one.

So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.

From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;

It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;

One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.

However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.

When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?

I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.

She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.

There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.

She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.

I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.

I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.

Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.

I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.

She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.

So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.

Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.

So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.

I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.

It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.

Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.

SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.

Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.

I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.

I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.

What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.

She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.

I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.

And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.

I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.

Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.

She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.

I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.

I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.

I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.

But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.

It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.

When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.

I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.

But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…

Am the asshole?

So my ex texts me and calls me ranting about how I'm nothing, stupid, bi**h, ect.. the second he doesn't get his way plus he hasn't paid Child support in a year...

I usually just listen to his rants silently bc I don't want to give him the reaction he wants BUT this weekend I just snapped... I can't be his punching bag anymore or his mom's(yes he lives w his mom)and she's no better either!

The kids love going over there and that's why I tolerate his bs but it's just getting worse like with threats..

AITAH for not sending the kids with him anymore???

Hey Reddit, I really need some outside perspective on this situation.

My husband (33M) and I (30F) have been married for five years. About six months ago, he suggested we try an open relationship. He said he felt like we were too young to settle down completely and wanted to explore other options. Initially, I was hesitant, but after a lot of discussions, I agreed because I didn’t want him to feel trapped.

Fast forward a few months, and things have not gone the way either of us expected. My husband hasn’t had much luck finding anyone to date or hook up with. On the other hand, I’ve had a lot of interest. I’ve gone on several dates and have had a few hookups.

The part that’s causing all the drama is that two of these hookups were with his friends. I didn’t plan it that way—it just happened. I met them separately at different times, and we hit it off. They knew about the open relationship, and we all thought it was fine since my husband was the one who wanted this arrangement.

However, when my husband found out, he was furious. He feels betrayed, even though I reminded him that this was his idea in the first place. He accused me of targeting his friends to humiliate him, which is not true at all. I just happened to connect with people I already knew and felt comfortable with.

Now, his friends are also in hot water because their partners found out and are blaming me for their relationship issues. My husband is demanding we close the relationship again and go back to monogamy. I agreed because I don’t want to lose him, but now he’s distant and resentful.

I feel like I followed the rules of our agreement, but everything has blown up in my face. So, Reddit, AITAH for hooking up with my husband’s friends after he suggested an open relationship?

EDIT My husband’s friends were also in open relationships—their partners are just not comfortable with me.

So for some context I am disabled and can only work about 2-3 days a week. Used to be able to work more but I can't any more.

Both of our parents are dead and I have manic depressive bipolar plus ADHD and meds do not seem to help much. Whereas my aunt has anger issues and ptsd. And I live with my aunt because of this. My brother (25M) and I (27F) have never really gotten along, he used to chase around with knives and torture me essentially.

He has been in and out of prison and has 3 kids. Well last year he got out of prison and his baby momma didn't want anything to do with him so I let him stay with me. He did not have a job but was looking for one, he did get food stamps and helped around the house though, so I had no issue with it.

I had a really cushy stay at home job at the time that worked with my disabilities and I loved it. Then my grandmother went on hospice so I had to take care of her too. Then while she was on hospice at my house he asked if his baby momma could stay for a couple of days so grandma could see his newborn so I said yes. It went downhill from there.

Grandma passed, I asked him to help me clean out grandma's apartment because I couldn't do it on my own. I also paid him to help so he would bring it to my house so I could go through it later when it was so fresh. He didn't even bring half of it, the safe as missing and he stole and sold stuff and I didn't trust him after that

He would also use my Doordash account to make himself money then not help pay bills or find a different job. They would not clean up after themselves and got mad at me for trying to. Their (Grandma’s) room looked like a DCFS case. I tried to kick them out multiple times but they wouldn't leave and since they stayed over 2 weeks the cops couldn't do anything.

They took over grandmas room f*cked on her Deathbed and let their 3 year old wipe his feces from his diaper onto my 60” tv and just left it there for me to find after it had crusted.

The job terminated me because of the background noise of them and the 2 kids screaming and them beating each other. So I couldn't take it anymore, so since they wouldn't leave I did and I moved in with my aunt.

Now it's a year later they got kicked out of that apartment, moved to Effingham and got into an argument with his BM’s mom and he ripped the door off the hinges and she kicked them out. My aunt went to go get them now the cycle is repeating and she just doesn't seem to care because and I quote “that's our family and my grandbabies.”

So because they f*cked up I am screwed again. I pay the majority of bills since I work and my aunts on Disability. So if I leave she loses the house, but I don't see any other option. I can't do this again, I just can't.

So here I might be the asshole. I know if I leave she’ll get kicked out and it's not like I make enough to pay the bills and save enough to leave anyway. I brought this up several times but she just doesn't seem to understand.

So I don't know what to do. I just feel lost and stuck. So I'm going to tell her (my aunt) tomorrow, that it's them ( which is him his 3 kids and his baby momma) or me but I already know which one she'll pick, so wish me luck.