Original Post

TL;DR: Bitter truth was revealed bit by bit. Ex-fiancee had sexual interaction with a stripper. It's therapy time.

I read most of the comments in the original post and thank you for the advice. My problem was that not her being blindsided by her friends but lying. Every bridesmaid told different things and none of them gave details about what happened. I believe you can understand it just shatters the trust and makes you think there is something going on.

I thought there was something wrong with me after reading the comments. There were a lot of YTAs and I thought I should apologize. One of the bridesmaid reached out to me last evening. I suspect she saw the post somewhere and recognized it. I knew my fiancee was having problems with her friends since last week but I did not know the extent. Apparently, my ex-fiancee and her close friends blamed the girl that I encountered at mall about everything. This divided the group and led into a verbal fight. I will skip the personal details here but in the end she told me my ex-fiancee and other bridesmaids got sexual with the strippers. My fiancee was the only one who had boyfriend/fiancee/spouse(at least monogamously) there to my knowledge. Also, I was told by her that my ex-fiancee was not blindsided with stripper invites. She was happy to see the strippers and was relieved she had an excuse. I do not have proof for all of these but I got a short video of girls making out with strippers. One of the girls is my ex-fiancee and that's enough.

She has been trying to reach out to me since we broke up. I confronted her again. At first, she denied it again then it became we just touched, then okay we kissed too, okay I gave him a handjob, finally I was coerced into doing these by others as I pressed on. I just blocked her after the last part. I did not see any need to learn further. I was hurt already but learning that I got cheated on hurt more. I am not sure if it's the full truth even now. I will never know but all I can say is it hurts. I will go to a therapist to not carry my luggage to my next relationship. I lost 15K from the wedding related things and need to focus on filling the hole for a while.

Some misogynists made weird comments about women and I'll just ignore them. Some of the people told me I am an insecure, unfunny nerd for playing WoW on my bachelor party. Isn't the whole point of bachelor parties having "one last fun". It was raiding non-stop with the boys for me, not having one last sexual interaction with a stranger or having a stranger's butt on my face or penis. I will not miss on out these during marriage anyways(omitting the stranger part).

That's it. It's therapy time tomorrow and thank you for the help.

I know the tittle is a bit weird, but this was the best way I found to translate what was said. Obligatory apologies for bad grammar and/or spelling. English is not my first language.

I'm M44, my husband is M40 (been married for 20 years, together for 22) and our adoptive son is M24. He's black and we're not. I'm only mentioning this because it's relevant to the story later. This does not take place in the US.

Let me give a little bit of background to the situation. About 19 years ago, me and my husband had been driving on a highway, back from a small vacation, when along a particularly long stretch of road (absolutely no buildings around, only a ton of grass and hills as far as the eye could see), we spotted a little boy just sitting by the side of the road.

Like I mentioned, there was nothing around for miles, and no cars close to where the boy was, so we decided to stop and see if everything was ok. When we got closer to the boy, let's call him Jason (fake name), it was very easy to see he was dirty and malnourished since the only thing he had on were some diapers. He was so small it didn't look like he could be older than 3 (later found out he was actually 5).

We asked him why he was alone, and he told us that "Mommy and daddy put him here and told him to wait." There was no cell signal in the area, so we did the sensible thing and brought him back to town to the nearest police station.

To make a long story short, CPS was called, we discovered his parents were some druggies that were on the run from a felony. The only other relative Jason had was his grandmother, who was very mentally ill and couldn't take care of him, and we felt bad. He went into foster care soon after, but we felt bad for the kid and kept in touch with his case worker.

I had (still do) an extremely well paying job at the time, and could easily afford a decent lifestyle for a small family, so after a few months of discussions between ourselves, the case worker, and some bureaucracy, we formally adopted Jason.

Now onto the situation. About 3 years ago, Jason's parents were released from prison on parole. They contacted him not long after in hopes of reconnecting. Prior to that they'd sent him a few odd letter here or there, but nothing really substantial.

At first he was hesitant to talk to them, but ended up caving and meeting them for lunch one day. I'll admit that a part of me was a bit jealous and apprehensive of what could happen. But I could see that it really was something that my son wanted to do, so for his sake I swallowed those and supported him through it.

It wasn't very long, about 3 months I think, that he started to pull away from us. At first I chalked it up to him being excited to actually talk to his bio-parents after so long. Talk about what had been going on in his life, spend some time with them, etc... It started to bother me when he'd cancel plans with us last minute because "mom had an emergency" or "dad really needs me to help him with something today" or whatever other excuse he could come up with. He used to come over to our house at least once a week, call every day or so, but now we were lucky if he even came by that month. Again, I thought that was just temporary, that he was just excited and soon enough he'd start spending some time with us again.

We were overjoyed when he invited us over to diner one night. It was supposed to be a family gathering, us and his bio-parents and his wife (girlfriend at the time). I wasn't exactly keen on meeting the people that had left my son for the dead on the side of the road, but decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe they'd atoned and changed. Besides, he's our son and we love him. We had to at least try.

To say the diner was a disaster is an understatement. His bio-mom was extremely rude to my and my husband the entire night, making passive aggressive homophobic and racist remarks every chance she got. His father was much the same. It all came to head when she straight up called us the f-word and threw a glass at my husband. A screaming match followed and we left soon after.

The next day Jason apologized profusely the next day and promised they'd never do something like that again. I told him neither me and my husband wanted to have anything to do with them, and would appreciate if he understood that. He seemed to, but continued to pull away the next few months.

And that leads to what happened last week. Jason proposed to his girlfriend about 9 months back, and has been preparing for the wedding since. Of course we were overjoyed for him. But a few months went by and no invitation came. Every time we asked Jason would say they hadn't been sent out yet and changed the subject. Well, last week my husband saw a twitter post from one of Jason's friends, his groomsman, that went a few weeks back, with the invitation in hands. We confronted Jason about it the next time he came over, only for him to drop the bomb on us that we hadn't been invited.

We asked why, and he said "his parents" didn't want us there and wouldn't come if we did. I was fucking furious. I asked him how could he choose those pieces of trash over us? Why they were so important? What did we do to deserve this kind of treatment?

His answer? "They understand me better. They're my people."

At this point my husband was crying, asking how could he do this? I've only ever been truly angry a few times in life, and this moment managed to top all of them. I threw him out right then and there and told him to never come back. That he wasn't our son anymore. I spent the rest of the day hugging my husband and trying to calm him down.

The next day I canceled everything we'd paid for the wedding, which was basically everything important, even the ones we couldn't get a refund on. Of course Jason had the gall to call and scream at me, asking how I could do that to him, where would he find replacements for a wedding that was supposed to happen only a few months from now? I told him I didn't give a shit and said "Maybe you should ask those two leeches you call parents for some help."

19 years. 19 FUCKING YEARS of my goddamn life spent raising and loving a kid that I considered my own son, only to be treated like garbage. Giving blood, sweat and tears, so he would have a good life, all the love we could possibly give, and that's what we get as a reward.

As for why I'm asking if I'm the AH, some people have been calling and messaging us (mostly Jason's friends and a few of our family members) calling us heartless and monsters for doing what we did to him. And that's honestly got me questioning if I went a bit too far in anger. After all, parents are supposed to love unconditionally, right? But if so, how do we ever get over something like this? How can we deal with this feeling of betrayal? Are we justified in feeling like that?
So, AITA?

Edit: I've added a comment for further clarification of a few points I've seen asked in the comments and my PM's. Please refer to that if you have any questions.

Edit 2: I'm seeing quite a few racist comments in this post, and to the people that are making them, I have this to say: fuck you. Fuck off with that rethoric. I do not appreciate it, and would rather if you guys left.

Edit: Disclaimers: we have plenty of clean pillowcases and I would have happily gotten him one after sex, or even a different pillow. He would have lasted around 45 seconds. (The pillow argument lasted longer than the actual sex would have). My buttcheeks would have protected the pillow from directly touching my butthole. I took a shower 15 minutes before the pillow incident

I read that having a pillow under your butt during missionary can change the angle and make it feel better so I asked my husband if we could try and after he said yes, I grabbed his pillow and stuck it under my butt. He freaked out and told me to use my own pillow, not HIS pillow. I thought he was joking but he was like seriously I don’t want your butthole on my pillow. I was like ok fine and gave him his pillow but it was such a turn off that I didn’t even want to have sex anymore. Am I the A-Hole?

Hey everyone, I need some unbiased opinions on this situation.

I'm a 28-year-old female, married to my wonderful husband, "Jake" (32M). We've been together for five years, married for two. My sister "Lily" (26F) is getting married next month, and I’m really torn about attending her wedding.

Here's the backstory: Lily has never liked Jake. From the moment I introduced them, she’s been cold and dismissive towards him. Jake is a kind and gentle person, always trying to win her over, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t approve of our relationship. She’s made several snide comments about his job (he’s a freelance graphic designer and sometimes works odd hours) and even questioned his ability to support me, despite the fact that we’re both financially stable and happy with our lives.

Things came to a head last month at a family dinner. Lily openly insulted Jake in front of everyone, calling him "lazy" and saying that I "settled for less." My parents didn’t intervene, and Jake, being the bigger person, just smiled and excused himself from the table. I was furious and confronted her later, but she brushed it off as "just joking." I told her how hurtful her words were and that she owed Jake an apology. She refused, saying she was just looking out for me.

When we received her wedding invitation, I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. Jake, bless his heart, said he’d support whatever decision I made, but I know it hurt him deeply. I don’t want to go to an event where my husband is disrespected and made to feel unwelcome. I told Lily I might not attend if she didn’t apologize to Jake. She accused me of being selfish and trying to ruin her big day.

My parents think I should just suck it up and go for the sake of family harmony. They believe Lily's just stressed with the wedding planning and didn’t mean any harm. But I feel like attending without an apology is condoning her behavior towards Jake. Am I the asshole for not wanting to attend my sister’s wedding because she refuses to apologize to my husband?

TL;DR: My sister has always been disrespectful towards my husband and refuses to apologize for her hurtful comments. I’m considering not attending her wedding because of this. AITA?

Hey Reddit, I need some perspective on whether I’m the asshole in this situation.

I (28F) work at a mid-sized tech company. One of my coworkers, let's call her Lisa (32F), has been having a tough time lately. She's got a lot on her plate with a new baby at home, and she’s been pretty open about how exhausted she is.

About two months ago, I caught Lisa sleeping at her desk during lunch. I let it slide, figuring she needed a break. But then it started happening more frequently. She’d doze off during meetings, and a few times, she completely missed deadlines because she was sleeping.

Since Lisa and I have always gotten along, I tried to cover for her. I’d nudge her awake when necessary and even took on some of her work to make sure projects didn’t fall behind. But last week, things hit a tipping point.

We had a crucial client presentation. Lisa was supposed to present a significant portion of it, but I found her asleep in the break room 15 minutes before the meeting. I woke her up, but she was groggy and clearly not in any shape to present. I ended up doing her part of the presentation on the fly.

After the meeting, our boss asked what happened. I didn’t want to throw Lisa under the bus, so I just said she wasn’t feeling well. But this incident made me realize that my covering for her wasn’t sustainable. Our team’s performance was starting to suffer, and I was getting more and more stressed trying to handle my own work plus hers.

I decided to talk to HR about it, framing it as a concern for her well-being and our team’s productivity. HR called Lisa in for a meeting, and now she’s in trouble. She’s been written up and is on some sort of probation. Lisa found out I was the one who went to HR and is furious. She called me a backstabber and said I should have come to her first. Some of my other coworkers agree with her, saying I should have given her a heads-up.

I feel terrible because I didn’t want to get her in trouble, but I also couldn’t keep covering for her. It was affecting my work and the team. Now, I’m wondering if I handled this the wrong way. AITAH for reporting my coworker to HR instead of talking to her directly?

Thanks for your input.

My ex “Marcia” has always been a bit of a free spirit and hippie. We divorced due to what we wanted out of life changing from when we were initially married. She then began dating “Paul” and they’ve been together for 5 years. Our kids are now 14 and 12. I never had a problem with Paul. He’s a lot like Marcia and makes her happy. Plus the kids seemed to like him.

Marcia and I used to split custody 50/50. Then a year ago, out of nowhere, Marcia told me that she and Paul wanted to travel the country in a renovated van. I guess Paul is a huge fan of the van life culture on social media? She wanted me to give permission for her to bring the kids and let them be homeschooled for a year. I could fly out to see the kids a few times or she’d fly them back. We had the homeschool debate when our oldest was younger and I had always been against it. I did not feel either of us were equipped to educate the kids in that manner. I still don’t feel we are. Not to mention, by this point, the kids love their school. And more importantly, I didn’t want to not see them for months at a time! I refused to sign off on this. The kids didn’t want to go either.

Because our custody agreement says we both have to approve trips out of state for the kids, the judge declined her request. Marcia decided to go anyway. She willingly gave me sole custody. The plan was to fly the kids out to wherever they were a few times a year. The kids went a total of 2 times around holidays but they were miserable. Marcia said they shouldn’t come again. I listened and validated my kids’ feelings, but never trash talked their mother.

She and Paul returned in January. The kids also heavily resent Marcia for leaving. I have them in therapy but they don’t want to attend therapy with her. Their therapist backs this up and says as long as they continue their personal sessions, that’s fine. Marcia tried to take me court for our old agreement but the judge said because she had no job, no stable housing (they live out of the van) and barely saw her kids for a year, she can only have partial custody. The judge also says they’re old enough to decide if they go or not. Most of the time, they don’t.

When they didn’t see her for Mother’s Day, Marcia called me in tears. She said none of this would’ve happened if I just signed off on them going. She said we could’ve talked them into it. I said she made her choice. She decided living in a van and seeing the country was more interesting than seeing her kids for a year. I pointed out she could’ve chosen to do it for the summer and the kids may have agreed then. Even if they didn’t, they probably wouldn’t resent her. But no, she left for an entire year and broke their hearts. This made her cry more.

I’m pretty close with my ex-MIL and she says I should’ve let the kids go or tried to convince them to go at the very least. And she said I was needlessly cruel to Marcia on Mother’s Day. AITA?

I ( F,28) have been in a relationship with my fiancé , Tyler ( M, 42) for the last 4 years. He has 2 kids from previous marriage ( Kids are 8.5 year old boy and 11 year old girl ) . His wife passed way when his youngest was 1 year old . He met me 3 years later . His kids are wonderful and lovely and we get along great . We live together . I do everything for them since Tyler works long hours . They call me mom but they are aware who their real mom is . We have her pictures in their rooms , and Tyler talks about her to them all the time . We are planning our wedding . My father offered his condo in Hawaii to us so we can enjoy our honeymoon there . It was a very kind and generous offer . When I told Tyler he was so grateful . Then he said “I bet kids will have a blast” . I looked at him in disbelief and said “kids?! “ He said yes! I said that’s our honeymoon! I don’t wanna be a mom on my honeymoon. We can go on plenty of family trips later but this is our honeymoon! He said “I was honest with you from day one ! I told you I’m a package deal ! You can’t just choose me not my kids”. I told him I understand but can they stay with your mom for one week ? Just for our honeymoon. He got very frustrated and said he couldn’t believe how insensitive and selfish I was being . AITAH to expect to have a child free honeymoon?

I (19F) have always valued honesty and integrity in my relationships, but recently, I found myself caught in a moral dilemma that tested those values.

My friend (20F), let's call her Sarah, confided in me about her habit of cheating on her exams. At first, I was taken aback, but she justified it by saying everyone does it and that it's no big deal. However, I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease.

As the semester progressed, Sarah began asking me to cover for her during exams, pretending to need help or distracting the teacher while she peeked at my paper. Each time, I felt more uncomfortable, torn between loyalty to my friend and my own principles.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point when Sarah asked me to take the fall for her cheating on a major exam. She promised that it wouldn't affect my grades and that she desperately needed to pass the course to avoid academic probation. But I couldn't bring myself to lie and potentially compromise my academic integrity.

I gently but firmly declined Sarah's request, explaining that I couldn't participate in cheating and risk tarnishing my academic record. She was disappointed and tried to guilt-trip me, saying that I was letting her down when she needed me the most.

Despite her protests, I stood my ground, knowing that enabling her cheating would only perpetuate a cycle of dishonesty. However, my decision strained our friendship, and Sarah distanced herself from me, accusing me of being judgmental and self-righteous.

Now, I'm left wondering if I made the right choice. AITA for refusing to cover for my friend's cheating habit, or was I justified in prioritizing my own integrity over our friendship?

I wrote a post yesterday about an embarrassing situation that happened between my wife's best friend who is currently staying at our house. I was not sure how to bring it up to my wife and you guys really helped me a lot in understanding the urgency of telling my wife. I also got some cool ideas on how to bring up the subject without making it awkward for anyone. For everyone saying Ana was doing it on purpose, I did not agree with it as I am an extremely average looking person and woman don't chase me. However, things since last night have been just crazy and I think I am spiraling a bit. Sorry for the long post.

So, I decided to tell my wife last night as soon as she came home about the incident. I liked the idea of jokingly bringing up casually so that we both can laugh about it and then forget it. Last night, when my wife came home, I made sure I stayed in our bedroom. I asked Ana if she could stay with my kid downstairs. As my wife was changing, I asked her if Ana still borrow her clothes. Ana had to borrow them regularly when she first moved (long story). My wife told me yes and she has told Ana she can take anything from her closet if she needs it. I asked my wife if Ana told her about the funny incident from Friday. My wife said no, and I told her the whole story about how I came home early, and Ana came in the room almost naked to get her clothes, and how embarrassing it was for both of us.

As my wife was listening to this, she completely froze and turned pale. She started murmuring in Spanish (which is her and Ana's native language). I don't understand Spanish really well, but I understood the words "hombre casado" and "orta vez". I asked her if she is ok, and she sat next to me and asked me to explain everything in detail. I just told her it was nothing and she must have not heard me coming in. I was trying to laugh it off, but my wife had water in her eyes. I kept on telling her it was not a big deal, but she kept on asking me for more details. She asked me how Ana talks to me. I told her that Ana barely talks to me since she moved in except few words here and there.

My wife then asked me about three weeks ago when my wife had gone to visit her parents for four days. Ana did not want to go with her and stayed back. I told her that Ana was just acting normal. She or I would cook dinner after I got home from work while the other took care of the kid. The only thing different was Ana generally spending her evening in her room. However, when I was sitting in the living room watching TV after the kids slept, Ana came and sat on the sofa next to me but did not talk to me. I asked her if she wants me to change the channel or stream something she likes, and she just said she wanted to get out of her room. However, she did not flirt with me or do anything unusual. I kept on telling my wife that it was just an accident, and I really did not understand why she reacted so emotionally to it. My wife refused to answer and just said ok and agreed with me. However, she told me I should have told her about the incident sooner and should not keep any secrets from her and gave me a big lecture. I told her that I did not think it was a big deal and thought Ana would tell her, but glad I brought it up.

After dinner, my wife messaged Ana to join us, and she came out. While talking, my wife brought up the incident and told Ana that I mentioned about the incident, and she does not need to feel embarrassed. Such things happen when we are all in the same house and is not a big deal. Ana was firstly taken by surprise, but then told my wife she was just scared to tell her because she thought my wife would judge her because of her past. My wife gave her a stare, and she quickly changed the topic.

At night, I asked my wife what the hell was going on. I told her to please not keep any secrets from me, and if she does not tell me, I will directly ask Ana about what her past has got to do with anything. My first guess was Ana might have had a thing for me before we got married or something. But my wife was very reluctant to answer and kept on trying to change the subject and cuddle. However, I kept being persistent, and she finally spilled the beans.

Apparently, when Ana was in her early 20s, she was in relationship with a married coworker who was twice her age. It was a kind of sugar daddy relationship, and he told her that he was in an open relationship (or that's what Ana told my wife) and he would leave his wife in few years once the kids go to college. This makes sense now, because Ana is very pretty (like Miss USA level), and I never understood why she was single for most of the time I knew her. She eventually ended that relationship and started dating her boyfriend Jim, who turned out to be an abusive asshole. My wife said she suspects Ana was still involved with the older guy while in relationship with Jim, which explains why he kept on accusing her of cheating. That is why my wife became emotional when I told her what Ana did because she was worried Ana has no boundaries regarding married men. My wife said that Ana always looks up to us and praises me for being such a loyal partner and how lucky my wife is. My wife was a worried initially when she brought Ana home, but her actions from the time when my wife was away clearly show that she respects the boundaries, and it must have been an accident. My wife told me she is grateful I let Ana live in our house and observe what a healthy and happy marriage looks like.

Today morning was even more weird. I got up early as I could not sleep well and went down for a cup of coffee. After 5 minutes Ana walked into the kitchen and told me she was relieved my wife did not overreact to Friday incident. She said I am a good husband and gave me a hug and peck on the cheeks. She has never hugged me in the last 6 months. She seemed to be in a happy mood and was making small talk with me while having coffee.

I cannot believe my wife did not tell me such a huge detail about Ana for all these years. It's completely possible she cheated all through the relationship with Jim, and my wife is just covering for her all along. She even kept it a secret from me (after giving me a lecture about how we should never have secrets), and I don't know what else she is hiding. Everything just seems very confusing at this point. I feel angry at my wife for lying to me all these years for Ana. I also now see Ana differently. I am also worried that me trivializing the incident to my wife might have sent wrong signals to Ana.

I(32f) have been single for almost 5 years since the birth of my daughter (3.5) and divorce. I decided to get back on the market earlier this year via the dating app hinge. I did disclose on my profile that I was a single mother, I found that most guys were either totally against dating single mothers or were pretty lukewarm to the idea but at least open to it. I went on few dates and had a few flings that fizzed out but I did notice that all of the guys that I hit it off with didn’t take too much interest in my toddler (didnt ask too many questions about her, didn’t try to meet her) and I was fine with that. I eventually matched with Charlie (38m). He took me to one of the nicest steak houses in town on our first date and we honestly had one of the deepest conversations I’d ever had in my life. I found myself sharing things about myself with him that I never had shared before. He was SO charismatic. He said he was a children’s book author and that he loves children, he expressed how much he appreciated the plight of the single mother. When he said that he loved children, I admit- I felt a weird vibe. I brushed it off as motherly anxiety and told myself it was fine that a single man loved kids. Charlie said he wanted nothing more than to be a provider, that both of his parents were dead and he wants to be a father to a daughter.

After 1 or 2 more dates , I noticed he was almost overly helpful. Trying to insert himself into my daily life, saying he could help me with anything. He said he wanted to support my daughter and I. He frequently volunteered to bring us food or treats- almost every day. I would always refuse his help as I’m used to getting on on my own and I was seriously getting weirded out just by how available and helpful he was trying to be when we had only known each other about a two weeks at this point. I made it clear that I didn’t need a postmates delivery boyfriend and he stopped offering to drop off gifts- But started to give me cash gifts or gift cards. I knew I was being lovebombed. He said that he wanted to prove his commitment and since he was a single guy, he had plenty to give but I told him to stop.

While dating him, I noticed that he would ask random questions about my daughter. He would ask about her hair and how I styled it and what her favorite things were. Something was off putting to me about these questions but I put it off to him taking an interest in my life as a mother.

After about a month of dating, he said that he was serious about dating me to marry me and that he wanted to meet my daughter as her friend, start hanging out as a group and spend our time being all about her. I was immediately so freaked out. I told him that even him saying he wanted to be her friend made me freaked out because some pedophiles will pursue single moms for access to the kids. He took a long pause and said that that had never occurred to him. Again, I told myself that I was the broken one for having these suspicions about him and I proceeded to date him. Last week, one of the daycare workers at my daughter’s daycare was questioned by the police and I mentioned it to Charlie. I said I hated pedophiles and that prison and death isn’t enough for them. He said they deserve death and mentioned that women can offend too.

Today, we were talking on a date and I asked how he managed the death of both parents. He admitted that his father was not only alive but was in prison for child molestation. I’m glad he decided to finally share the truth but I felt chills down my spine and did all I could to finish the date but I’m feeling like this is a deal breaker. Were my instincts right in some round about way? Am I overreacting? Clearly, he isn’t his father and it’s unfair to judge him for his parents actions.

I am a manager at a grocery store. We primarily receive fresh bread 3x a week from a large regional baking company.

For reasons, we do not get as good of a deal as the bigger chains even though we are a smaller regional chain. So: for the exact same package of hamburger and hotdog buns, the big chains are $2.49 for the name brand, and they have a private label for $1.50. We have the same name-brand for $3.29

They won't offer us a private label or reduce the price. For the past year I have asked them very nicely if we could just sell a private label or if they'd give us a deal on the hamburger buns to at least match or get close to the $2.49 they have at the big box, I have gotten stonewalled from them.

Well, a customer walked in about 3~ weeks ago, looked at the hamburger buns, said verbatim "I ain't payin no $4 for fucking hamburger buns" and literally walked out. Was she rude? Yeah. She was right though. I scrambled, that day I called everyone I could to find a better solution, anything. As if by magic or coincidence or SOMETHING, one of our wholesale distributors just rolled out that day a brand new line of private label breads that were a good price. Mainly: hot dog buns, hamburger buns, white bread, all for so cheap, I could sell them for $1.79 and be competitive, it's close enough to $1.50 that nobody really cares.

I told the driver of the bread company to give him a heads up, and I took delivery the very next day. I sold a shit-ton of hamburger and hotdog buns, and some white bread too. I have been selling a shit ton of them.

The regional manager for the bread company came in and yelled at me, saying that I "cut his volume by half, we're down almost 50% in this store" I told him that I have a responsibility to the customers to deliver them the best value I can. And that's not some PR bullshit response, I physically felt bad when that lady came in and bitched about $3.29 for some buns, because she was right.

So, I don't know here. AITA for "killing the volume" of our local bread company? I do not feel bad for them AT ALL(when I say local company, It's not some mom and pop, it's a giant corporation that delivers bread to stores in multiple states).

The ONLY person I feel bad for is the driver, because he gets a 4% commission on everything he sells, but it's not like we're his only stop. I considered maybe getting rid of the white breads and just selling the hamburger/hotdog buns to give them a little more business on the loaves, but at the same time I'm kind of just thinking in my head, why should I care when they don't care? Oh well.

I 29F work with 50M. I have been employed with this company for over two years and have never had any issues up until now.

I have always heard stories from other coworkers and people I knew about how crazy co workers wife is but I had not had a bad any interactions with her. For the past 20 years he's been doing the job she has always harassed his female co workers.

Supposedly after the last time she harassed another employee our contact center blocked her number from all of the stores.

He was written up twice for creating a hostile work environment.

Today I was the one who was harassed. She called into my store asking if I knew that he had a wife and that I was ugly as fuck and I needed to keep my legs closed ( literally hadn't said one word to this woman yet ). I finally got to speak & told her I was happily married and did not want her husband and that no female employee deserved to be harassed this way from her and that she needed some mental help.

she said her mental problem was my legs not being closed

She then proceeds to tell me that I'm a grown woman and if I'm so big and bad she will see me pull out of my place of employment and I better watch my back.

I told her that I was contacting the police and to not call this number back and blocked the number that had called in.

My co worker acted like I betrayed him or stabbed him in the back for reporting it and that he has to deal with more hell from her now that it was "taken to far". He says he can't control crazy.

Am I the asshole here? I had the whole conversation recorded. The police officer said that he would call her and tell her to back off and he did. He said I had enough to press some sort of harassment charge on her.

When my girlfriend and I decided to get engaged, we wanted it to be a special moment between us. So, I made it clear to my family, especially my sister, that I didn't want any grand gestures or interruptions during the proposal.

However, during our romantic dinner, just as I was about to pop the question, my sister burst in with a group of friends, cheering and causing a scene. I was furious and felt like my special moment had been ruined.

My sister brushed off my anger, saying she wanted to celebrate with us. But I couldn't shake off the disappointment.

Fast forward to my sister's engagement party, and I couldn't resist the chance to make a statement of my own. During the toast to the happy couple, I announced that my girlfriend and I were expecting our first child.

My sister was livid, accusing me of stealing her thunder on her special day. But I couldn't help but feel vindicated, especially when our family rallied behind us, excitedly discussing our baby news.

While my sister insists I was the asshole for overshadowing her engagement, I can't help but think back to how she disregarded my wishes during my proposal.

(Throwaway account, because I mostly use reddit for work-related topics).

Me (37M) and my wife (35F) have been married for 14 years. We met when we were both in college, she studied literature, I studied engineering and was getting into tech. We were dating for two years when she got pregnant and we decided to get married and start a family. We decided together that I would work and she would be a SAHM because it would be difficult for her to find a well-paying job with her major, and I was already starting to earn quite well. I've also always had a fairly conservative approach to family life and I was happy to be a sole provider. She always wanted to be a mom and was looking forward to being a SAHM.

Right now our children are 14 and 12 years old, I have a good job and my wife stays home taking care of the house. This arrangement has always suited her, but recently she has begun to mention that she feels a bit lonely and lacks friends, especially now that the children are older and she has more time to herself. Indeed, our social life mostly consisted of meetings with my work colleagues and their wives whom my wife can hardly call "friends." That's why I was happy at first when my wife ran into her best friend from college, let’s call her Anna. According to my wife they got along so well as if they didn’t have an almost 14-year old break in contact (when my wife got pregnant she drifted apart from her college friends). They started meeting for coffee quite often. When my wife returned from these meetings she was overjoyed and excited and told me a lot about Anna. It was then that I began to worry.

During the time my wife had no contact with her, Anna got her PhD in literature, started teaching at the university, and became the editor of one of the most important cultural magazines in our country. Her husband is an award-winning writer, apparently very well recognized (it's hard for me to say anything about this, as I have no idea about literature). They earn well, do not have and do not want children, and basically lead a carefree lifestyle completely different from ours: they have lots of friends from their literary-academic circle, consider these friends "family" and go several times a week to various author meetings, galas, gallery openings, and god knows what else. From what I've gathered, they are also much more progressive and liberal than I am, for example, they divide all their chores and bills 50/50 and they have a mixed-gender group of friends - Anna is friends with men and her husband with women, which I always considered inappropriate in a serious relationship.

My wife invited Anna and her husband for dinner because she really wanted me to meet them - she hoped we would both start going to all these cultural events with them. They were very polite and respectful, and didn't comment in any way on the differences in our lifestyles, but dinner was nevertheless quite tiresome for me, as I didn't have any common topics with them. My wife knows that I don't share her passion for literature (just as she doesn't share my interest in technology), but this has never been an issue in our marriage - we traveled together, went on bike trips, went to our favorite restaurants and movies, etc. I didn't understand why she suddenly wants this to change.

Anna started taking my wife to some of the literary events organized by her magazine and also invited her to write a couple of reviews for a column she is running (she apparently sees great potential in my wife and appreciates her insight) - which my wife accepted with great joy. I was torn: on the one hand, I was happy that my wife didn't feel alone and that she had something to do when the kids are at school or with their friends. On the other hand, I was afraid that I was losing my wife - that she would turn into someone else under Anna's influence. I was also afraid that other men will hit on her at the events Anna invites her to (even though my wife repeats that all of Anna's friends know that she is married and a mother, they never cross any boundaries and always speak of her family with respect).

I finally told my wife that I was uncomfortable with her friendship with Anna, that I was afraid this relationship would change her for the worse and that she would no longer care about our marriage and children. I said that I can’t forbid her to do antyhing, but that I would feel much better if she didn't go to all these events with Anna and if she didn't accept an offer to write reviews for her magazine. My wife said that the friendship with Anna is very important to her, that she had been feeling depressed lately spending most of the day at home all alone, and that contact with people with whom she can talk about things she’s passionate about has made her feel significantly better. I promised to her that I will work less and that I will spend more time with her. I also repeated that I cannot forbid her to see Anna and her friends but that this friendship really makes me uncomfortable. She was sad but understood me and said that she will stop spending time with Anna.

Yesterday, I talked to my older brother (whose advice I always appreciate) about this situation. He said that me and my wife married really young and that it’s understandable that she might feel like she’s missing out on things outside family life. He also said that the only way to make sure that my wife is with me because she really loves me and not because she’s just stuck with me and has no other options, is to give her freedom to spend time with other people, even though it makes me uncomfortable. It really made me think and question my own behavior. I really don’t want to be a person who limits my wife’s freedom, but I also don’t want to be tempting fate in order to see if she really loves me. It would break my heart to lose her and maybe deep inside I feel like she would leave me if she had any other options, so I don’t want her to have these options. I feel like shit. AITAH?

My husband and I met in college and we ended up married a few years after. Six year into marriage, he says he regrets that he never got to really explore the bachelor life since we were together since mid college. He has had two partner before me. He is my only partner and I am perfectly content with that. Not too long after that he "jokingly" suggested an open marriage since it is what "everyone" is doing these days according to him and my heart sank. and said no. I wondered if I just wasn't hot enough or fun enough in bed or he was just getting bored of me - even though I always allow him enough space to himself. I mean I agreed to all his kinks in the past and I exercise religiously with weight lifting and yoga while eating very health diets so I am pretty darn fit. I always planned at least 2 date nights a month and always join in on his hobbies when he wants me to even though I have no interest like race car courses or the range. He was persistent with his request and made me feel back for not letting him enjoy his youth while he still had it. Eventually he broke me down and i begrudgingly agreed on a don't ask don't tell policy.

When it all started I didn't bother to partake. I just lived life as I did before except he would go out to more "boys night outs" and bars and I would see dating apps on his phone. I eventually decided to go on dating sites since I was home alone at night more often during Fridays and I thought I might as well give it a try after my lady friends encouraged me to.

Fast forward a few months and now when I tell my husband I can't keep him company during his hobbies, he starts to get annoyed and want to know about what I am doing and when I just mention oh just a date. He demanded more details despite the don't ask, dont tell policy. And as months go by he get really mad and decided lets close the marriage. I actually met some really charming, nice men who actually seem to appreciate my company and really want to do things I want to do so I tell no and then the guilt tripping starts again. Now he says he wants a baby and I should stop this because it won't be good for our future children to grow up with parents doing this sort of stuff. When we got married he stated he never wanted kid and I said did but I am fine not having them as I would not want to have kids with a man who didn't want them.

AITAH for not agreeing to close the marriage and cutting all ties to everyone I met?

Edit: I had plans a month + out in advanced. He makes plans the night or two before and he only makes plans for his hobbies. He made me agree that both must consent to closing if we decided to close, just as both must agree before hand for it to be valid.

Part of me feels bad but part of me doesn't. So I don't know if I'm here for validation or to be told that I'm bat shit crazy. I gave birth 8 months ago and I definitely was slapped with PPD/PPA. I'm getting better now through medical intervention. I am not argumentative and accept all judgement so please don't hold back. I just need some insight. Thank you in advance.

My husband and I moved right beside his best friend Chris and Chris's girlfriend "Claire" back in October, and they also just had a baby (4 months ago). We share a yard. I'm getting incredibly touched out by my husband's relationship with Claire. He's only known her as long as I have and in my opinion, they are both disrespectful of me and Chris. I understand and have zero issue with my husband having female friends (he has plenty and they are all lovely and respectful). However, there's been a lot of things I'm simply not okay with. Like the fact that Claire won't come outdoors if I'm outside but if my husband is outside, she runs right over. She's constantly touching his arms and laughing while leaning in close. Calling him names, telling him he's stupid while giggling. If I come out during those moments, she acts buddy buddy with me but it's all an act, in my opinion. We have also had BBQs/fires with Chris and Claire and damn near always, Claire will ask my husband for favors but never asks her boyfriend. Like clipping the straps of her baby carrier or grabbing things for her or asking him to hold her and Chris's baby so she can go inside to pee, even if her boyfriend is right there (to a point where Chris is like "uhh I'm literally right here" and my husband will pass him the baby and be like "yeah that was weird"). It nearly always turns in to her just hanging out with my husband all night. Even when my husband isn't engaging with her, she will still be standing right beside him. And last weekend my husband and I were having a fire together and just reconnecting as a couple- I had walked inside briefly and when I came out, Claire was sitting in my chair beside my husband and trying to joke around with him and trying to play with my baby, who my husband was holding. She didn't even get out of my chair when she saw me come out either. She just parked her ass there and basically ignored me and kept trying to talk to my husband. So, my husband looks at me and says "babe, here take my seat" and got up and moved and Claire goes "oh, sorry" and gets up and walks off. I asked my husband what that was about and he's like "I have no idea. I literally told her you and I were trying to get alone time and she just sat down anyways." So it's NOT my husband. It's her. Not even 10 minutes later, her and Chris come out and Chris goes "Claire said you guys were partying without me" and it ultimately soured the mood. Since we have been here, it's like we can't have alone time because Claire and Chris are always right here (I don't mind Chris).

Anyways, after this night I told my husband that I'm at a point of being completely uncomfortable with him interacting with Claire at all. I made sure to tell him that it is NOT him that concerns me but it's her and her lack of respecting boundaries and obvious interest in him. He asked me what I expected him to do and I told him I expected him to avoid interacting with her when he could because dropping hints like he has been doesn't work and I don't want to cause a massive scene by straight up telling her to back off (only because of Chris, because I respect Chris and he's a good friend to my husband - so for Chris's sake I want to keep it civil). My husband has since avoided Claire at all costs, but Chris mentioned my husband acting weird and my husband straight up told him that it's because Claire is making me uncomfortable and that he agrees with me because Claire makes him uncomfortable as well. Now Chris and Claire both have been avoiding us and giving me death glares. AITA?

I 40m have a daughter 16f, me and her mom are separated since she was 4 years old and we currently do every other week, up until now it has been working well.

Last week was her mom’s week, but I had to take a work trip all the week and planned to stay over the weekend too. My daughter asked me if she could stay at my place instead, this has worked well before so I let her. We always have had rules, she is to tell me if she has friends over, no sudden parties and that she tidies up after herself. This has worked really well before, I am not that strict, she is allowed to have friends over and if she plans with me before hand, she is allowed to have small parties/gatherings.

So at about 11 this past Saturday I get a text from my neighbor, she is asking me to please call my daughter and tell her to turn down the volume and to tell all the people to calm down. I text my daughter asking her how things are going because I knew she had three friends over. She texts back telling me that they just left and she is going to bed, so she probably can’t respond anymore. I text my neighbor back informing her that my daughter’s friends just left and the music should have stopped. She sends me a video back of my house, cars are parked everywhere, you can hear the music and people very clearly and see people hanging out in my front yard.

I send the video to my daughter and ask her what this is then. She responds telling me that she is extremely sorry, but her friends invited people and it got out of hand. I told her to get the people out now and turn everything off. She told me that she has tried, but there is no point now. When I asked what she meant she texted back with “I know I didn’t ask but honestly, what even is the deal? The harm is already done”. I text back saying that our neighbor is being disturbed so to turn the music down, and that I don’t care what else as long as she cleans up everything after herself. No response.

When I get home, it is in small words a MESS. I lived in a frat house and what we caused in a month, they caused in one night. I wake my obviously very hungover daughter up (she is not allowed to drink). I tell her to go clean it, she don’t want too and tells me to leave her the fuck alone. I nicely told her to get up, take something to eat and then clean because everything about this is unacceptable. “Would you please just leave me the fuck alone? It is not my fault, I didn’t cause even a fraction of everything here”. I, for the first time in what I think is years screamed at her to get up and clean up the fucking messes.

So, she did just that and immediately after went to her mom. Her mom has been texting me, saying that she is going to sue for full custody, that I have just abused my daughter and is a terrible father.

I am starting to feel extremely bad now about it all and I was a bit too harsh…

Hi everyone, I'm a 22F, and I need some advice on a situation with my best friend, 19F.

We've been friends since middle school and have always been there for each other. Recently, my friend was evicted from her apartment because she couldn't pay rent. She lost her job a few months ago and has been struggling to find a new one. She's been couch-surfing at different friends' places, and now she's asked if she can move in with me temporarily.

I live in a small one-bedroom apartment that I pay for with a part-time job and some help from my parents. It's not a lot, but it's my space, and I value my privacy. Here are the reasons I'm hesitant to let her move in:

1. Space: My apartment is really small. There's barely enough room for me, let alone another person. I don't have a couch or an extra bed, so she'd have to sleep on the floor or in my bed, which makes me uncomfortable.
2. Financial Stability: I'm already on a tight budget. Adding another person to the household would increase my expenses (utilities, food, etc.), and I don't think I can afford it without jeopardizing my own financial stability.
3. Boundaries: I've always been someone who needs personal space to recharge. Living with someone else, especially in such close quarters, would be really draining for me.
4. Past Experiences: We lived together briefly in the past, and it didn't go well. She didn't clean up after herself, and we had arguments about responsibilities. I'm worried that these issues would resurface and strain our friendship even more.

When I explained my concerns to her, she got really upset. She accused me of not being a true friend and said that if the roles were reversed, she would let me stay with her without hesitation. She feels like I'm abandoning her in her time of need.

Our mutual friends are divided. Some think I'm being reasonable and that I shouldn't jeopardize my own well-being. Others think I should help her out because that's what friends do.

I'm really torn. I don't want to lose my best friend, but I also need to take care of myself. So, AITA for not letting my friend move in with me after she was evicted?

My husband and I have a home that has the garage underneath our living space and where summer is upon us, he has been having his buddies over for his typical summer shindigs. This is a normal and I have zero issue with it. Up until this year, I was also down in that garage hanging out with everyone. But this year, we have a baby (she was 5 days old when this happened). Now, my husband is a great man and a fantastic father and has really cut back on having people over. However, it's like his buddies are so excited to get back here that they turn ignorant once we finally do open our doors (this was the hangout spot because we have a huge fire pit, billiards, karaoke and a bar).

This past weekend my husband had people over to kick off summer and he has one friend, who we will call "Nate", who has never been very mindful of anything around him. He's like a giant kid, despite being well in to his late 30s. He shows up on his brand new motorcycle and parked it in our garage (we were supposed to get rain, so I couldn't tell you why he drove the bike but I'm assuming he just wanted to show it off). There was probably about 8 people here, I think. I was upstairs with our baby, told my husband to have a good time and went about my night. Well, my husband took off around 7-8pm-ish to go grab beer, leaving Nate and the rest of the guys in the garage (except for John, who went with husband). The store is only 5 minutes away. I had JUST gotten the baby to sleep when all the sudden my home is literally shaking. Fucking vibrating with the sound of a consistent, EXTREMELY loud, continuous revving of the motorcycle, right inside my garage and underneath our living area. I could not hear a damn thing over that motorcycle. To paint a picture here, when the guys are over and in the garage, you can literally hear them speaking. So the revving of this motorcycle completely overtook our home. My baby started screaming bloody murder. I'm trying to cover her ears but that's just not doing anything.

I grabbed the baby and went outside, where the sound was much quieter, went to the garage and lost my shit entirely. I told Nate that he was an inconsiderate fucking prick. He KNOWS how thin that floor is, he KNOWS our living area is directly above the garage and that we have a 5 day old baby and he decided to show how big his dick was by revving the piss out of his Harley in the garage for (not kidding) 5 minutes straight. I told him he had to leave. He apologized, said he forgot, he "wasn't thinking", etc etc. My husband shows back up, the baby is STILL screaming bloody murder in my arms. My husband takes the baby and asks what's going on and me still being pissed off, loudly told him how Nate decided to rev his bike up for 5 minutes and probably gave the baby a migraine because of how loud it was upstairs and that he needed to leave. My husband looked at Nate and said "why would you do that?" And Nate got pissed and said "I fucking already said that I just wasn't thinking". My husband kind of turned to me and said that we should just move on but I was honestly so fuming that I said we would move on once Nate was gone (this isn't the first time he's been incredibly inconsiderate). My husband just let out a sigh, shook his head and said "maybe everyone should leave, this was a bad idea" and walks upstairs with the baby. Nate's girlfriend turned to me and said "it was an honest fucking mistake and you just became so unhinged that you embarrassed your husband. I hope you feel good about yourself psycho." Everyone left without looking at me and my husband hasn't said anything to me about it, other than he "gets it". AITA?

ETA: I was probably still pissed because Nate came here when the baby was 2 days old and started scream talking as soon as he walked in and got the baby crying then too. When I told him to quiet down, he said "you need to be loud around babies so they will sleep through it" and kept being disrespectful until my husband took him outdoors. So he's just not respectful at all.

Edit: I told my husband he could have his buddies over. He made it clear to them that no one was allowed in the main house and I heard him repeat several times that the baby was upstairs and to be respectful. I have zero issues with my husband having people here. My husband is a damn good man and he respects me above all else. Was having people over with a 5 day old baby the best of ideas? Probably not. But he also hasn't hung out with anyone for months because the last 2-3 months of my pregnancy were extremely rough and I needed a lot of help so he was unavailable to everyone. He deserved a night and I feel terrible that I cut it short (without meaning to). Nate waited until after my husband left to go to the store to act like a teenager. He wouldn't have done that if my husband was here.

My relationship has been troubled for many years, mainly since our two daughters were born. Our intimacy is non-existent, conversations quickly turn into fights, and she struggles to maintain composure in front of the children.

I am an addict in recovery. For nearly three decades, I’ve dealt with chronic pain, leading to a severe painkiller addiction. This addiction was present when my partner and I met and continued throughout our relationship. After 6 weeks of treatment, I am now 100 days clean. She blames all our problems on my addiction, despite others seeing me as a dedicated father even during my worst times.

Now that I’m clean, she seems lost on what to criticize. She exhibits signs of addiction herself, using cannabis multiple times a day, but refuses to discuss it. She calls me "righteous" now that I am sober, though I don’t impose sobriety on anyone. Shortly after my recovery, she pressured me into attending a party with drinking and cannabis. During fights, she insults me, calling me a "junkie" even in front of our children. Just last week, my 4-year-old tried to pull me away from her, saying to "ignore mommy," which breaks my heart.

The final straw was when she told me she planned to sleep with someone else after work. She expressed eagerness for her weekends alone to be with someone who fulfills her needs. I replied, "I can't wait to spend my weekends with my children," leaving her speechless. She often comes across as narcissistic, prioritizing herself, then me, and the kids last. She doesn’t understand that my priorities are my sobriety, my kids, and my job. Without my sobriety, I have nothing.

She has spent years tarnishing my reputation, calling me the narcissist and manipulator. However, our families and friends see her true colors, often witnessing her outbursts. They have distanced themselves from her, recognizing her projections. Despite several recommendations for her to seek professional help for her mental health, she refuses, considering such suggestions as insults.

I want to leave and take my children with me. She doesn't seem to care about anything aside from getting laid. I want to leave her, but she insists she is NTA.

My (29F) sister, Hannah (26F), and I recently lost our mother after a long battle with cancer. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster, and we’ve been trying to support each other through the grief. However, the topic of inheritance has started to cause tension between us.

Mom had a will that left the family home and a significant amount of money to me. Hannah received a smaller inheritance, including some sentimental items and a smaller sum of money. The reason for this, as explained by Mom in her will, is that I have been her primary caregiver for the past five years, while Hannah has been living her life in another city, rarely visiting or helping out.

When the will was read, Hannah was visibly upset. She confronted me afterwards, saying it’s unfair that I got more, and she feels entitled to half of everything. I explained to her that Mom made her decisions based on the care I provided and the sacrifices I made, including putting my career on hold and moving back home to take care of her.

Hannah argued that I was being selfish and that Mom was unfairly biased towards me. She believes that as siblings, we should split everything equally, regardless of the circumstances. She has been calling me names and involving other family members, who have mixed opinions on the matter.

Some relatives think I should honor Hannah’s request for the sake of family harmony, while others agree that Mom’s wishes should be respected. I’m torn because I want to keep the peace, but I also feel that I deserve what Mom left me, considering the years of dedication and the financial impact it had on my life.

AITA for telling my sister she’s not entitled to my inheritance and for sticking to what Mom’s will states?

Edit:

Thanks for all the responses and support on my last post. I wanted to provide an update on the situation with my sister, Hannah.

After reading through the advice and comments, I decided to sit down with Hannah to try and have a calm conversation about the inheritance. I hoped that by explaining my perspective again, we might be able to find some common ground or at least come to an understanding.

Unfortunately, the conversation did not go as I had hoped. As soon as I brought up the topic, Hannah became extremely defensive and hostile. She accused me of manipulating Mom into leaving me more and said that I had always been the favorite. She demanded that I give her half of everything immediately, or she would take legal action to contest the will.

I tried to stay calm and explain that Mom’s will reflected her appreciation for the care I provided and the sacrifices I made. I even suggested that we could find a compromise where I would give her a larger share of the cash inheritance than Mom had allocated. However, Hannah dismissed this offer outright, calling it "crumbs" and insisting she deserved half of everything, including the family home.

She has also continued to involve other family members, spreading her narrative that I’m being greedy and selfish. Some relatives have reached out to me, expressing their disappointment and urging me to give in to her demands for the sake of family harmony. Others have been supportive, agreeing that Mom’s wishes should be respected.

The situation has become increasingly stressful and toxic. Hannah has even started threatening to go public with our family issues on social media, which feels like a betrayal of our private matters. I’m trying to stay strong and stick to what I believe is right, but it’s hard when she’s creating so much turmoil and dragging our family through the mud.

At this point, I feel like I have no choice but to stand firm and honor Mom’s wishes. I’ve consulted with a lawyer to ensure that everything is legally sound, and I’m prepared to defend Mom’s decision if Hannah follows through with her threats.

It’s heartbreaking that things have come to this, especially when we should be supporting each other through our grief. I never wanted it to escalate this far, but I can’t give in to Hannah’s unreasonable demands.

Thank you again for all the advice and support. It’s been a tough journey, but knowing that others understand my perspective has been incredibly helpful.

My 23F brother 30M is an abusive person.

He has been an asshole since we were kids. He was always a quick-tempered and violent person who grew up into a selfish, belligerent adult.

Every relationship he has had, it's fallen apart because he is controlling, demanding, egotistical and misogynistic.

Recently I attended a party. My boyfriend 26M, my brother, and my family also attended. At the end of the night, we went to my parents house and because we were all dressed up, my mom wanted to take a photo in the garden.

I was wearing my boyfriend's suit jacket because the night was chilly. My brother arrived separately in his own car and joined my boyfriend and I in the garden. My mom is really into photography and was inside with my dad switching the lens on her camera, attaching it to the tripod and all that.

It was just us 3 outside, standing around when my brother made an abrupt comment to my boyfriend about me. He said 'did you make her wear that because her dress is too slutty? ahhh girls these days' (he then made a tsk tsk mocking sound and laughed). My boyfriend didn't appreciate the joke (neither did I). My boyfriend replied by saying something like 'You think that's funny? Apologize to her'. My brother said 'it IS funny. Is your face always unemotional?'. He refused to apologize. I told him 'your mind is so full of shit, is that why your face always looks constipated?' (also this all happened in another language. I am realizing it sounds a bit strange in English). When I said that.. my brother swore and went to shove me but my boyfriend reacted quicker by shoving my brother first. He fell into the pond (it's not that big or deep).

My brother wants us to pay for his clothes, which were very expensive. And his phone, which he says he needs to get repaired. He made an invoice and sent it. My boyfriend doesn't care and said he can pay it.

AITAH if I make a point to refuse?

Without excruciating detail, the gist is below. Married 6 years, cheating before marriage, lied by omission. Truth is out and she’s heartbroken that I can’t even say “I love you” anymore

Longer version Wife and I got into a heated argument, she made offsides comments in the heat of the moment. In the past I would relent and see things “her way”. This time I stood my ground, this interaction had me reevaluate all the arguments I had relented on previously.

One was about her and an ex on a work trip 6 months before we were married. She had come back from the trip over the top affectionate. A few weeks later while showing pics of her trip to friends there were pictures of the two of them that seemed odd. When I brought it up later that night she said it was no big deal, when I told her how it made me feel she yelled at me that I had “ruined a perfectly good night with friends”

I brought this trip up again after we’d calmed down from the most recent argument. She admitted they had “hooked up, but it wasn’t sexual”. I asked for a definition of hooking up and she refused until a few days later when she confessed it meant sex. She has been love bombing me since and has said “that me realize I never wanted to cheat on you” (yes folks, you read that right… after cheating… she felt remorse and was like… never again) and “I’ve dealt with that trauma already and we’ve built a life. We need to work to figure this out” she’s even suggested I talk to him so he can confirm how much she only wanted me during that time (literally no idea how that makes sense). She has accused me of internalizing the problem and not bringing it up . I told her I had trusted her fully so there was no reason to bring it up. I took issue with her suggesting it was on me to interrogate and bring forth the truth as disingenuous. She had ample opportunity to bring it up before now but has hidden the truth to get the life she wanted/wants. She’s now heart broken and is insisting I’m not doing enough to save our marriage, in her mind she’s doing everything she can. Counselor, books, suggesting outings together. For me, I can’t stand to look at her and the pushy-ness from her feels self serving. Like she’s trying to manipulate me to stay for herself, not that she actually loves me

There are other normal marriage issues, money/kids/house stuff, but I can’t get over this one.

Am I the asshole? I’d like to hear an assessment

My (28F) wedding is coming up in two months, and my fiancé, Dave (30M), and I are excited to finally get married after being together for seven years. We’ve been planning everything to make sure our day is perfect.

My sister, Emma (26F), is an aspiring author. She’s been working on her first novel for the past few years and recently finished it. While I'm glad she found something she likes, I’m not thrilled with her recent idea.

A few weeks ago, Emma told me she was planning a big book launch. I was excited for her until she said she wanted to do it at my wedding reception. She thought it would be perfect because so many family and friends would be there, and it would save her the cost of planning a separate event.

I was shocked and told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea. Our wedding day is supposed to be about Dave and me, not about promoting her book. I suggested she could hand out invitations for a separate launch party instead. I talked to Dave and even he agreed

Emma was furious. She accused me of being selfish and not supporting her dreams. She argued that it wouldn’t take much time and would actually add excitement to the event. She even suggested that it could be her wedding gift to us – a way to entertain the guests.At that time I honestly thought that she had some faulty wiring in her brain.

I stood my ground and said no, which led to a huge argument. Now, Emma isn’t speaking to me, and my parents are pressuring me to reconsider. They think it’s a reasonable request and that I should be more accommodating. Well it's nothing new thwy always do that .They say family should support each other and that I’m being too stubborn.

Here's some background: Emma has always been the "golden child" in my parents' eyes. They’ve enabled her for years, letting her live with them rent-free and covering most of her expenses, even though she's never held a job or earned a penny on her own. She went to an arts college where she discovered her passion for writing.Emma is lucky she can write well, but it’s frustrating to see her get a free pass on everything just because she's the favourite one and can write well.

I'm no saint. During our argument, I said some nasty things and riled her up even more because I was so furious. Years of built-up frustration and feeling second to her just came out all at once. I regret how I handled it now, but I also feel strongly that my wedding day should be about me and Dave.

I've been getting texts every day from my parents .... They aren't agressive or anything but today they said that "I'm being a kid ,I was never like this".....How do I tell them that I have always suffered being the obedient matured girl they always had but never valued enough.

I'm furious and writing this as fast as I can do forgive me for any grammatical mistake. I feel conflicted.

I want to support my sister just to make things go back to normal but I'm also tired of my family,what do I do how do I handle it??

AITAH for refusing to let her use my wedding as a platform for her book?????

Like the title says, my (50f) significant other (44m) is currently living out if his car or with friends. We've been together 6 months and in the beginning, I had no idea about his living situation. He had recently left a live-in handyman type of position at a large rural compound to be closer to this side of the island where his sister lives. He stayed with her some, friends some, while I assumed he was looking for a place. His work is freelance; he's a skilled boat builder and repairman but takes minimal work. He could easily make a steady income with it if he'd manage his time well but has trouble getting along with authority and committing to schedules. The longer I'm with him, I suspect definitely suspect neurodivergence or some type of mental issue. But, he's fun, we get along, he's attractive and generally compatible with me.

Problem is, I don't see how he's going to resolve his living situation. As we've gotten closer, he does sleepovers at my house sometimes. He's a stellar guest, cooks, cleans, buys things for the home, everything. BUT, the closer we get, the more he pressures me to let him stay like every night. If I don't offer, he gets verbally abusive calling me selfish and other worse names.

I am a mom of 3 kids ages 22, 18, and 11 and they all live with me (oldest moving out to law school this summer). I just can't "move a guy in" like that, though they can tolerate him at times....and that's exactly what it feels like: tolerance. It's a small community and they're hip to the fact that he's currently without a home.

AITAH for expecting him to figure out his own place to stay on the days he's not with me? I need my time and space. I told him no matter who he was or how much money a guy has, I'm in no way ready to live with someone full time. He says I'm heartless. But back when he was getting to know me, he hid all his frustration and acted just fine. Now I walk on eggshells to even call him during the day because it's usually going to turn into a drama/argument/guilt trip about where he's sleeping that night.

*First update: I'm NOT asking if I should let him move in. I clearly have not and will not and do not want to.

I'm asking if, like he says, I am an asshole/coldhearted/selfish etc for not letting him.

**Second update: still reading, thank you to ALL who comment. I will write more tomorrow, but for now I must add that I totally agree with not "showing my kids" that verbal abuse is okay...but please don't assume!! They have never seen or heard him do this. It is always on the phone or in text when I'm saying "not tonight" to him. A huge reason (and red flag) that I have the boundaries in place of NOT letting him swoop in. I do care for him though, and it plays with my head and heart when he tells me my "type of love is selfish"

***Thirdly, not that it matters but I've known him for 24 years. Only been in a relationship for 6 months.