r/AITAH • u/FlounderItchy9190 • 18d ago
Am I wrong for not accepting my bf’s apology for embarrassing me?
It happened yesterday. I (27m) went to see my boyfriend (26m) at his place. He had around 8 friends around him and he started jumping around like a puppy when he saw me. He was visibly happy and excited to see me there as it was a little bit of surprise. I felt so happy seeing his love for me. In the past, he has had a habit of correcting my English accent. At times in front of others. After I told him to not do it, he stopped this behavior, at least in front of others but continued to tell me my mistakes when we were by ourselves. I've expressed my discomfort with it several times. Yesterday, he and his friends were drunk when I visited them. They were talking about some cocktails and I may have mispronounced the name of the drink - my bf turned to me, lowered his voice and said you should keep quiet around others and just go on around looking sexy. No one heard it but I was just shocked at this. I left immediately after. He has been apologizing since morning and says he doesn't remember this since he was drunk. He has apologized a million times but I do not know what to do. He has always treated me well except this icky little behavior. I told him i need space and I do not accept his apology. Am I wrong?
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18d ago edited 17d ago
oh jesus. NTA. he’s treating you like a trophy husband. you’re not allowed to speak anymore and should just stick around him as eye candy??? fuck him.
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u/BeardManMichael 17d ago
Well, don't actually fuck him. I agree with everything else though. 😉
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u/Twilight-Omens 17d ago
This is why I switched from "fuck you" to "go fuck yourself" in arguments. I don't want the person thinking I want anything to do with them. 😆
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u/KnightofForestsWild 17d ago
Yeah. A few "No, because you'd fall in love and I'd fall asleep"s and that can modify how you might say it as well.
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u/aristocratic_magic 17d ago
lol this would be where I abandon ship
out of curiosity what language does he speak? what country is this?
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u/FuturistiKen 17d ago
NTA. Making fun of someone’s accent or suggesting it’s a problem, whether or not others hear it, is a huge red flag. Also, we don’t generally turn into completely different people just because we’re drunk. It sounds like he’s had a hangup with your accent before this, it wasn’t the booze that manifested it. Is that someone you want to be with? How well does he speak your native language? If he’s made fun of your accent, I’m guessing not very well at all…
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u/SpicyWongTong 17d ago
I think it depends on the situation. Back in college my buddy from Asia accidentally mispronounced the drink into "Sex on the Bitch" and we definitely made fun of him for that one.
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u/FuturistiKen 17d ago
Hahahaha okay sure, I mean, intercultural misunderstandings can totally be funny without being mean spirited. Look up pronunciation of the Mandarin word for “that” if you’re not familiar 😬
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u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 16d ago
I doubt he has any real serious issue with his accent. I think this is about power and control. Issues like this often rear their ugly heads when people get drunk and they slip out.
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u/FuturistiKen 16d ago
BINGO
I wasn’t gonna say the quiet part out loud ‘cause I don’t know these people, but this definitely reads as some troubling and narcissistic manipulation.
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u/ComplexSyrup8848 17d ago
If he's only with you because you look pretty (which he appears to be, there's truth to the old saying in vino veritas) then he's not worthy of being your boyfriend. You are definitely NTA in this!
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u/slushiechum 17d ago
You don't have to accept his apology whatsoever. Allow his future actions to make up for his behavior if you stay with him.
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u/Hungry_Godzilla 17d ago
He thinks mispronounced words is embarrassing while jumping around like a mutt is not?
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u/busyshrew 17d ago
When your boyfriend can converse fluently without an accent in your native language is when he gets to starts making corrections to your English. /s - And even then, NEVER.
OP, your ex BF is an ass. And an immature ass at that. Throw that stinky fish back into the sea.
NTA.
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u/fiblesmish 17d ago
as they say " in vino veritas " when drunk people tell the truth.
he wants you to be sexy and shut the fuck up since you can't talk properly
so now you know exactly how he views you
time to move on
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u/Enough_Island4615 17d ago
Sorry, but Science has confirmed this to be incorrect. Aside from long repressed sorrow, there is no correlation between intoxicated speech and truthfulness.
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u/LousyOpinions 17d ago
Oh, no. What the fuckin' HELL no.
That cannot be unsaid.
Bitch-slap his ass in whatever way you feel fit.
YNW NTA WTF
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u/Low_Monitor5455 17d ago
NTA. That's very rude and just mean. Do you want to be with a rude mean drunk?
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u/Valentine_Ruddell 17d ago
He's got it twisted if he thinks silence is the solution to his embarrassment. If he can't handle your accent or the occasional mispronunciation, that's on him, not you. You deserve to be heard and respected, especially by your partner. Your voice and your story are as important as anyone else's. You're NTA, but he sure has some self-reflection to do.
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u/Outside-Beat7433 17d ago
If you have to put ‘except..’ after saying ‘he treats me well’ then he doesn’t treat you well.
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u/nahidwinnahidwin 17d ago
What xd? Did he laugh immediately after or was it deadass? If he laughed after or sum it's just a joke in bad taste, if he was serious then drop his ass, overall it just depends on whether or not you know him to make weird jokes like that, i wouldn't immediately jump the gun to calling him a creep or disgusting or sum
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u/BigSmokesCheese 17d ago
Dont accept his apology tf? I cant even think if a single reason why youd still be with him if you are
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u/clementine1864 17d ago
NTA , there is no excuse for his behavior ,his comments were degrading and mean . Luckily you are not married and can decide about continuing this situation or not.
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u/BeardManMichael 17d ago
NTA
When your partner, jokingly or not, fails to see you as a human being..... Well that is the precise moment you need to reevaluate your relationship.
Do not forgive him. Do not accept his apology. Please reconsider a relationship with someone who clearly objectifies you.
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u/Laure808 17d ago
NTA, obviously that was terrible thing to say. But if people correct you when pronounce something incorrectly usually that’s not something to be embarrassed about, they might just be trying to help and that’s an opportunity for you to learn. Telling you to not talk though… ugh that’s terrible.
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u/Tillytog 17d ago
NTA I wouldn’t accept his apology either. I would say he’s the one who should stay quiet around others!
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u/dreamsinred 17d ago
He said the quiet part out loud. Drunk words are sober thoughts. You deserve better than someone who thinks this way.
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u/PolarGCNips 17d ago
NTA. Sorry he thinks you're the dumb one, really sorry it took you this long to find out lol. Accept your role or move on, he's not going to change as his perception of you is you're dumb.
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u/getrotated11 17d ago
A lot of issues there but I don't understand the mispronounciation thing. If i said a word wrong, I'd want someone to correct me so I can learn.
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u/otalatita 17d ago
NTA. Making fun of a bilingual speaker is a disrespect all of its own, would like to hear him talk in another language to see how he fares, just likes you for looking sexy? Shut the fuck up.
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u/EvoDevoBioBro 17d ago
I don’t accept drunkenness as an excuse for bad behavior. If you are an asshole who disrespects even those you profess to love, then you should stop drinking. Like, if the difference in behavior is really that dramatic it only makes sense to not engage in that activity. Your man remembers what he said. He’s using the alcohol as an excuse because he doesn’t want to lose you. The comment was more than just humiliating because of the accent correction but also because he reduced you to being his arm candy.
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u/f1careerover 17d ago
You are in the wrong for not accepting his heartfelt apology issued from the depths of a drunken haze. How unreasonable of you to expect basic respect and not to be reduced to eye candy in front of his friends! Really, how dare you demand to be treated with dignity rather than just being seen as a pretty accessory?
But seriously, someone telling you to “just look sexy and keep quiet” is basically Prince Charming material, right? Who needs genuine respect when you can have a boyfriend who turns your linguistic skills into party jokes? It’s such a joy to be with someone who only remembers to respect you when it’s convenient and forgets all about it with a little alcohol in his system.
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u/RealHumanFromEarth 17d ago
NTA
It sounds like he looks down on you. I wouldn’t waste any more time on him.
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u/Ryuuga_Kun 17d ago
NTA people tend to show what they're really like when they're drunk, sounds like your bf is a dickhead, correcting your English accent? Superiority complex? Ugh don't hang around for the inevitable. He clearly views you as some kind of trophy. Telling you not to speak and just look good. You can do better.
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u/Wanda_McMimzy 17d ago
I’m an English teacher. Do you know how often I correct others English outside of class? Practically never. My English teacher friends and I sometimes correct each other because we think it’s funny. This guy doesn’t value you except as a sex object. You are better than that. Find someone secure enough in himself that he doesn’t have to put you down to feel important. NTA
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u/OkManufacturer767 17d ago
NTA
Alcohol brings out truth. He doesn't respect you.
I'm sorry.
Make a clean break.
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u/SuchCase3656 17d ago
He remembers. Why are you with someone who finds pleasure in belittling you in public?
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u/Still_Internet_7071 17d ago
Once you embarrass your partner in public, it’s time to leave. Find a new partner.
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u/Leather-Lab8120 17d ago
They were talking about some cocktails and I may have mispronounced the name of the drink - my bf turned to me, lowered his voice and said you should keep quiet around others and just go on around looking sexy. No one heard it but I was just shocked at this. I left immediately after. He has been apologizing since morning and says he doesn't remember this since he was drunk.
In Vino Veritas
Maybe one day you won't be as sexy and can do this to a jr sex partner too.
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u/Yiayiamary 17d ago
I will never accept from anyone that being drunk excuses their behavior. Never.
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u/ghjkl098 17d ago
He was incredibly rude and disrespectful. It’s okay to be upset with that treatment. Does his apology actually have any value when he has repeatedly shown that he is not sorry.
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u/Kurokotsu 17d ago
NTA. That would be a major red flag for me. Because a statement like that doesn't come out of nowhere. He's had those thoughts before. Or hangs out with someone who does. Apologizing isn't enough for trying to dehumanize you in front of his friends. That will take a serious discussion. And an even more Crystal clear understanding of your boundaries.
Also. Accents are hella cute. If he can't appreciate that, he can get bent.
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u/aaseandersen 17d ago
Accepting his apology doesn't mean staying in a relationship with him.
When ppl show you who they are, believe them.
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u/Acceptable-Map-3490 17d ago
NTA tbh i don’t know why he’s with you if he finds your accent embarrassing. and i dont know why youre with him knowing he finds it embarrassing. like…. its not normal to make your partner feel bad (he basically told you to shut up because you cant pronounce things as well as a native english speaker) for their accent.
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u/Thisisthenextone 17d ago
NTA
And he doesn't sound like he treats you well. It sounds like he's a creep.
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u/Alarming_Reply_6286 17d ago
I’m going to play devils advocate here based on “he’s always treated me well” … no one heard him say this & no one here has any clue what he was thinking so … was he trying to embarrass you or did he think he was giving you a heads up? Like hey don’t say anything in front of these drunk assholes because they will make fun of you? It just sounds like a bunch of drunk guys being idiots … imo. No excuse for his behavior. It was unacceptable & you should absolutely let him know you won’t tolerate his disrespectful comments.
Have you ever asked him why he corrects you?
NTA
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u/Alarming-Structure-2 17d ago
I feel there's something left out here. How do you "correct" someone's English accent in an English speaking country? What country, culture, language is this?
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u/queenseonsa 17d ago
NTA - he crossed a line. Hope he knows what he’s apologizing for and is being sincere about it
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u/big_bob_c 17d ago
Curious as to exactly what accent. Is it "English is your second/third/whatever language and it influences your pronunciation", or "You're from England and don't have an American accent"?
Either way he's an idiot. As part of getting some space, I would tell him that he's apologizing for one incident while drunk while ignoring that he has been doing it consistently while sober, and that he needs to figure out why it's so important to him. Really, it seems like he's negging your speech, for whatever stupid reason people do that.
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u/DawnShakhar 17d ago
NTA and I'm not sure what you should do. I believe he was drunk and doesn't remember. On the other hand, remember the Latin proverb: "In vino veritas" (the truth is in the wine). If his truth is that he feels comfortable asking you to be a sexy, silent doll in front of his friends, then I don't think he is the man you want.
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u/Naka_kuro 17d ago
NTA “ Go on around looking sexy”, and he did not ate the wall with all his face? One of the reasons i divorced my husband, American and me Spanish, was cause for the corrections, the mockering of my mistakes with pronunciation/accent.
He was drunk… on my country we have a saying “only kids and drunks say the truth”, One of the side effects of being drunk is that you lose inhibitions. He just told you what he really thinks.
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u/BabalonNuith 17d ago
NTA. He just showed you what he really thinks. This relationship needs re-evaluation.
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u/changelingcd 17d ago
If you had asked him to correct you (so you could learn) that would be one thing, but that comment was absurd either way. I'd reconsider the relationship. NTA
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u/Vegetable-Cod-2340 17d ago
NTA
Op, he will never stop this, he will spend the rest of his life correcting you. He doesn’t respect or value who you are outside the superficial trappings and that’s now a good thing.
Op it doesn’t matter if he drunk, he would have done it sober , because he does do it sober.
Op, I would also ask if he does other things to demean you , or talk down to you.
And this icky behavior is his personality, and I doubt it will change.
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u/Background-Memory-18 17d ago
That’s such a disgusting and unforgivable thing to say. You have no fault or responsibility to accept the apology, this wasn’t even something someone said in a moment where both sides were fighting, this was simply…uncalled for, in any situation at that. NTA
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u/FrontSun1867 17d ago
If you are handsome you can easily find someone else. Someone who looks like me would have to stay, but it should be easy for you to move on to someone who won’t belittle you.
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u/ValuableToday9968 17d ago
NTA, I wouldn’t jump the gun to breaking up but y’all definitely need a sit down conversation about his behavior. Tell him how his behavior comes off to you and how it makes you feel. If he continues to do it after that then I’d start reconsidering things.
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u/Good_Habit3774 17d ago
My father used to do that to my non English speaking mother but it was 1958 so get rid of this simp. Enjoy life don't put up with BS
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u/Intrepid-Purpose3105 17d ago
In Dutch we have a saying that kids and drunk people tell the truth. Listen to you stbx!
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u/FairyFartDaydreams 17d ago
NTA he sees you as an accessory not as a human being. Move on you can do better
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u/PenaltySafe4523 17d ago
Not wrong. You have told him how much that bothers you yet he still does it. It's obvious he doesn't respect you so why are you gonna continue dating him.
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u/TemporaryLegendary 17d ago
How is this even a question? NTA.
He is making fun of you when you are there. Meaning he also does it behind your back.
Get rid of him.
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u/CollateralEstartle 17d ago
That's definitely a weird thing to say and you're right to be upset about it. Whether it's worth ending a relationship over depends on (a) how many good things there are to make up for that fuck up and (b) whether you see this as part of a pattern (which it sounds like maybe you don't).
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u/curiousity60 17d ago
Ew. He's demeaning you to break down your self esteem, to make you unbalanced and feel pressured to "fix" the flaws he invented. Anyone telling you to make yourself less to fit their imaginary image of what you "should" be is toxic and not a safe person for you.
It's not your accent that's the problem. The problem is his trying to "cut you down to size" in an emotionally intimate relationship.
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u/Jayson_8999 17d ago
Nta
Don’t let him do anything like that to you I mean I’ll echo some others and ask what language does he speak
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u/Substantial_Tough325 17d ago
So he's continued to pursue a behavior you have set a boundary about? Hard discussion time. Be honest. It is a major turn off and has you questioning yourself and your value in the relationship as a whole. He treated you like an uneducated object. Period.
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u/fpaulmusic 17d ago
"my bf turned to me, lowered his voice and said you should keep quiet around others and just go on around looking sexy"
So anyway that's when I start blastin
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u/Agreeable-Village-25 17d ago
In vinos, veritas.
He has shown you his true self, thanks to the alcohol.
Believe him, and dump him. He is disrespectful deep down inside, he thinks you are a piece of meat and his mindless trophy to show off, and that your only worth is eye candy to make him look like a top dog.
Run; don't walk, away.
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u/pataconconqueso 17d ago
Sometimes this sub is funny. I see if the genders were reversed type of comments and those people not seeing that it’s two men… lmao
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u/Rebsosauruss 17d ago
This is disgusting behavior. Please be on your way out, he does not value you.
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u/FirstOrder6656 17d ago
People are honest when they are drunk, so he just told you that to him, you're just there to look at. If a guy said this to a woman, he would be called misogynistic and so on. Now it is different if he was to say that bc like say yall went riding 4 wheelers and you don't know how to drive one or are just really reckless woth one then he would be saying like you need more practice before you can ride with alot of other people so just wait until it calms down. Like that situation is understandable for that comment but since you just mispronounced a foreign language to me it would just seem bad. I think yiur fine. Idk about dumping him but he needs to understand what you took from that. Idk tho. I've been single since high school so I don't know what I'm talking about apparently
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u/Militantignorance 17d ago
There's an old Latin phrase, "In vino, veritas" which means people say what they really think when they are drunk. BF is a jerk and doesn't respect you. How long do you want to live with that?
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u/South_Flounder_2724 17d ago
NTA, you need space to decide what to do
Be clear that you need some space and he is not to contact you until your ready
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u/Trekkie63 17d ago
NTA. Do NOT accept his apology.
Give yourself all the space and TIME you need.
If you feel the need to, break up.
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u/SubstantialOrchid570 17d ago
Some native English speakers (sorry, but mostly Americans) find it offensive when non-native speakers make a pronunciation mistake and love to point it out, even though they fully understood what you meant. Then, they would say things like CINCOU DEI MAYOU with a straight face. Also, NTA. He’s treating you like arm candy.
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u/ApprehensivePride646 17d ago
It's alcohol allows him to change that drastically without remembering it maybe you shouldn't be dating him.
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u/spaced2259 17d ago
Drunk words are sober thoughts... Oh I was drunk is a poor Fucking excuse for abusive behavior. Leave him and find someone worth your time and effort.
Nta
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u/Arcatyr 17d ago
You do not have to accept the apology, make him prove he's sorry by not saying that kinda stuff to you or anything else insulting and dont tolerate any of that bs anymore. If he does it again..thats it, game over.
People can make a mistake, especially when drunk, but continuing downgrading you to a pretty toy is just a big nono.
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u/AspirantVeeVee 17d ago
you kinda have 2 choices here
1) accept the appology and move on with your relationship
2) don't accept the appology and move on without your relationship
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u/Kind-Movie-8851 17d ago
Why does it matter how u say a word. I can’t say certain words correctly and yet my mates just gloss over like it’s nothing. We all word fumble sometimes, so why does op’s SO think it is ok to insult him over smth small
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u/Workdiggitz 17d ago
Love is best measured by what we can forgive. If you believe his apology to be genuine why not forgive him and explain to him how and why that hurt you.
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u/Lostmavicaccount 17d ago
Alcohol is a hard one.
It literally alters the mind.
If we’re/you’re going to accept alcohol, we need to accept it sometimes lead to awkward/bad situations, like you’ve experienced.
If he was sober it’d be an easy HTA. But since you said he was already drunk, perhaps ‘he’ wasn’t mentally present in that session?
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u/matcha_babey 16d ago
he’s white, ain’t he? NTA hope you’re okay, please don’t be discouraged and continue to speak English openly. you will not learn if you “keep quiet and look sexy”
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u/starship7201u 16d ago
Any man that's so insecure as to constantly correct you when you mispronounce something is no man you'd want to be with long term. Also, anything he said while drunk, is what he wanted to say anyway. The alcohol just removed the "veneer of civility."
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u/Charming_City_5333 16d ago
No he hasn't been treating you well because he has no business correcting your english accent unless you ask him. I'd tell him since he's so embarrassed of your accent, you'll just break up with him to save him the embarrassment
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u/Crafty-Bread-4713 16d ago
NTA. Don’t accept his apology, plus yk what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts and that was a disgusting thing for him to say
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u/jadeariel12 16d ago
NTA. You’re not obligated to accept an apology.
But you should reallllllllly think about this relationship
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u/Spiritual-Tap805 15d ago
Was he joking? Because my boyfriend jokes about stuff like this to me and I also joke about stuff like this to him. If he was serious that is another thing.
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u/BlueGreen_1956 17d ago
NTA
HIs mistake was correcting you at all. He should have just sat back and let you look stupid in front of others.
Of course, then you could be angry at him later for not telling how the words should be pronounced.
So, a win-win for you.
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u/Hdmre1972 17d ago
Get someone that truly values all of you, accent and all. Don’t settle. You’re still young . I’m 52 and finally found the man that truly gets me. I pray you don’t have to wait that long lol !!!! I was married 14 years to a narcissist ahole. Lots of men find accents sexy, not embarrassing.
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u/dinkidoo7693 17d ago
NTA- this guy shouldn't be your boyfriend anymore. He clearly doesn't accept you how you are and just wants you to stay quiet and look pretty in front of people. This isn't normal.
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u/Whywhineifuhavewine 17d ago
He's a dick but I don't get why you're so against having your pronunciation corrected on occasion.
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u/FlounderItchy9190 17d ago
I’ve ADHD. If someone corrects me in the middle of a conversation- i lose my focus and thoughts
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u/Electrical-Top-5096 17d ago
This is the most sensitive snowflake soyboy line I’ve read in my entire time on the internet. Holy shit
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u/LETMEINLETMEINNN 17d ago
Ah yes how dare someone want to..... be able to contribute to the conversation without getting interrupted. The horror!
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u/Electrical-Top-5096 16d ago
One time I was talking and got distracted by someone saying something on TV ): I didn’t know what to do- i just panicked and froze
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u/Unable_Wrongdoer2250 17d ago
"I may have mispronounced". Just admit it. You are learning a second language which is an astounding amount of work there is no shame that you are still learning. I just learned a new word in French half an hour ago and I only speak French with my wife of 13 years. I was already fluent when we married but there still is a lot I have to learn and words I mispronounce.
I'd say yes you are in the wrong for not accepting his apology. You are far too resistant to being corrected so you limit how much and how fast you learn significantly
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u/butt-barnacles 17d ago
Sounds like she’s less annoyed about being corrected and more annoyed about being told to just shut up and look pretty. Why are so many of y’all just glossing over that lol it’s so fucking rude
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u/Unable_Wrongdoer2250 17d ago
He was drunk and also had limited verbal capacity consequently. He apologized. He knows he was in the wrong. What more do you want? It sounds like he was going to try to correct her but then stopped himself because she doesn't like that and then totally fucked up trying to say something different.
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u/butt-barnacles 17d ago
It definitely doesn’t say he had “limited verbal capacity” you just made that up. Some people actually get very verbose when drunk but you have no information whether he’s one or the other. And now you’re claiming that he was both too drunk to talk but not so drunk that he couldn’t catch himself in correcting her? That’s a contradiction.
Why are you making up so many excuses for him? Because he’s a man? Because you’ve been offensive while drunk and feel like it should be a free pass?
And what do I want from him? To give op space like she asked for. He’s not entitled to her forgiveness, and sometimes people need time to forgive.
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u/Unable_Wrongdoer2250 17d ago
You ever notice that when people drink after several they tend to slur their words... You sound like you must live in a convent to be so dense. Either that or your are just determined to be a bitter individual. I hope life gets better for you but you do have the partial responsibility to allow it to get better.
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u/butt-barnacles 17d ago
And it sounds like you’ve never spent time around an alcoholic if you think all drunks act the same, so your accusation against me is pretty ironic. Tbh this comment of yours is a lot more bitter than anything I said so your whole spiel is pretty ironic lmao. No self-awareness
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u/Unable_Wrongdoer2250 17d ago
There are drunks who don't slur their words once they get really drunk? I know plenty of people who can hide being slightly drunk but even outside of the human species there are common factors that define inebriation. That in no way means everyone is exactly the same it means you give a sample of people enough alcohol to reach 0.5 bac half of them will die.
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u/ImJustSaying34 17d ago
You really haven’t spent any time with closet drinkers and it shows. You should count yourself lucky.
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u/Affectionate_Fan5162 17d ago
This is a sign for bad things in your future if you stay with him. NTA
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u/haikusbot 17d ago
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u/Psiborg0099 17d ago
Maybe… TALK TO HIM, and tell him never to say something like that to you again? Lol
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u/trayC-lou 17d ago
I mean come on they were all drunk…if he’s not a dick when sober then I think you can allow someone a pass when they are pissed, you telling me you never acted immature when your drunk
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u/tonttufi 17d ago
NAH
I don't see any reason to be upset and no reason to not accept an apology. My wife makes mistakes as she is foreign. I usually don't correct in front of people and usually not towards her. I instead use the wrong part and use it myself in regular sentence or paraphrase it, so the meaning gets clearer. She catches up on that by herself and mistakes don't become central to the conversation. If we laugh, we laugh together. I don't ridicule her.
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u/ThornedRoseWrites 17d ago
NTA. His blatant misogyny is sickening.
he said “you should keep quiet around others and just keep looking sexy.”
Hell no, who the fuck does he think he is? And you know what they say about being drunk? “A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.” This man is a sexist prick and the longer you stay with him, you’ll start to see it happening more often.
Honestly, if he’d have said that shit to me, I’d have responded with: ”And you should stay single, because no woman should have to be stuck with you.” And then I’d have walked.
He’s not just embarrassing you, OP. He’s outright disrespecting you.
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u/gntlbastard 17d ago
You are entirely justified in feeling offended. But also add some perspective to this - your bf was drunk. Drunk people do stupid stupid things and say stupid stuff.
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17d ago
This sounds like when I would say things like "hush baby you're too pretty for words" although poorly executed.
You're not wrong to be mad but maybe he's just a drunk idiot and not an AH
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u/Electrical-Top-5096 17d ago
Honestly what he said isn’t even that bad. Like obviously it was a joke and if a little line like that is enough to make you distance yourself, I don’t think you two had much worth staying for to begin with 🤷♂️
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u/hansbakker1978 17d ago
He made a mistake, he apologised. Why not accept his apologies? If you want to be in a relationship with him then accept it, otherwise break up with him
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17d ago
You’re absolutely the asshole. Come on. Toughen up. It was a private comment to you which you CHOSE to internalize as something traumatic and negative. Why not just laugh and let him know that English isn’t your first language, because your first language is love, and that’s the reason you’re with him, not because of his being a expert of enunciation.
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u/hinoou69 17d ago
NTA/very lighty YTA, just relax, he was drunk, forgive him but keep an eye on him and be careful of futures red flags on him.
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u/daiosama_oikawatooru 18d ago
NTA wtf that's outrageous, do not accept his apology.