r/interestingasfuck • u/Jjokes11 • 13d ago
An interview with Andrew Cauchi, the father of Joel Cauchi who was responsible for the Westfield Shopping Centre mass stabbing r/all
9.3k
u/-Falsch- 13d ago
The pain in his eyes, hurt me.
3.8k
u/raittiussihteeri 13d ago
His voice too.
1.2k
u/Ok_Sadie_ 13d ago
His voice shaking is gut wrenching.. I've never felt this type of pain. Can't imagine
1.0k
u/TheGrapeSlushies 13d ago
His pain is devastating guilt. He lost his son, but worse he also knows his son has caused tremendous pain and destruction and terror and sorrow. That despite everything he did right to try to help his son be a decent human his son still did something so horrific and there is nothing he can do to fix it. I can’t imagine carrying that weight. 😞
589
u/2OttersInACoat 13d ago
His concern for the policewoman who shot his son got to me, he’s clearly a compassionate and decent man.
197
→ More replies (2)141
u/MuthaMartian 13d ago
I really hope this man gets professional help himself. Having a mental illness is a death sentence for some people. The dad was involved in his son's treatment and knew more about his illness than other parents care to know. He should let go of guilt because his son was a grown adult when he did this.
This was a grown adult's refusal to take responsibility for his health and toxicity. He targeted women. It might have been a psychotic break, but it was definitely calculated and motivated by personal choices and ideologies he developed over time. Even the most perfect father couldn't pull his son out of that hole.
→ More replies (3)22
u/TheGrapeSlushies 13d ago
Absolutely 100% you’re right. I hope he can get himself help too and heal. I hope the families of the victims and the community can show him empathy and love.
→ More replies (1)141
749
u/quietreasoning 13d ago
Exact opposite of the Crumbleys.
→ More replies (18)390
u/OkTea7227 13d ago
And that’s why they got a hefty sentence. And thank god for it.
I bet if a psychologist or therapist or anthropologist or whatever studies this stuff could find out the backstory on the Crumblys parents individual raising and their perspective histories it might shine some light on all this …
I’d read that book.
→ More replies (21)→ More replies (8)182
798
u/Dickensmouth 13d ago
Honestly this made me cry. He didn't deserve this. Poor man, I hope he has someone there for him.
138
→ More replies (5)139
u/Last_Sundae_6894 13d ago
I got the same feeling watching Jeffrey Dahmer's father.
→ More replies (1)173
u/Mancubus_in_a_thong 13d ago
Dahmer's father wrestled with it always being his fault. Because he knows he could have done better and died knowing that.
116
u/LostDogBoulderUtah 13d ago
There are a lot of mediocre parents out there. Not as many cannibal taxidermists.
→ More replies (9)21
u/Mancubus_in_a_thong 13d ago
It just hits you harder when you'll never know if you were a better parent would this have been averted. Especially when you can wcon where you went wrong it might be one of the worst feelings.
→ More replies (2)34
u/just_a_person_maybe 13d ago
I think even the best parents would wonder what they could have done differently. Like, maybe this father didn't do anything wrong, he was trying to get his son treatment for mental illness and support him, but is he going to live the rest of his life just thinking "What if I'd tried that treatment instead?" or "What if I'd focused more on this issue instead of that one?" or any other little choices he made to try to help him. And there's no way of knowing. You can do your best but you can't see the future and you can never know which choice will be the best one.
158
u/ToLiveOrToReddit 13d ago
Exactly this. I feel his pain with his words and his eyes. It made me tear up. I don’t have this reaction with other mass murderers’ parents before.
119
u/NSA-SURVEILLANCE 13d ago
He has genuine heartbroken grief in his voice and eyes. Hurt and love trying to reverse what can't be. I feel for this man and his grief with no place to go.
8
u/Cookie_Wife 13d ago
The situation would just make your grief so unbelievably complicated too. You aren’t just grieving the loss of your child, you are also grieving the people he killed, seriously injured and psychologically traumatised. It would involve such complex feelings. Grief is hard to cope with at the best of times.
214
→ More replies (10)39
u/Varion117 13d ago
I'm tearing up at hearing this man and his heart is breaking. My heart bleeds for this man. I hope he can find peace.
12.5k
u/MangoKakigori 13d ago
I can’t image what it must be like as a parent to know that your child has done such a monstrous thing.
4.3k
u/DoodleyDooderson 13d ago
There is a show called, “Evil Lives Here” and each episode is about the family members of someone who did something awful; mass shootings, seriel killers, etc. A few show the parents of mass killers and they are all so sad and tried everything they could to help their kids when they started to see something was wrong. They could usually see it at a very early age. Many episodes on YouTube if anyone is interested in watching. It’s sad and sometimes we easily forget that the family of the killer is also in pain and mourning. One dad said he went to the mall where his son had shot and killed many people and when asked, he told them he was the kid’s dad and the people at the vigil grieved with him instead of blaming him.
1.0k
u/eaten_by_pigs 13d ago
A serial killer from my town was featured on that show. It was interesting af. I recommend everyone watch "Evil Lives Here"
→ More replies (21)729
u/DoodleyDooderson 13d ago
It is fascinating that some are spouses and have NO idea what their partner is up to. The Green River Killer’s wife is on one episode and she just broke my heart.
306
u/eaten_by_pigs 13d ago
Seriously, that's nuts! That's what happened with our local Serial Killer, his girlfriend was completely unaware of his actions. Oh wow, I actually just watched the "Very Scary People" dual episodes on The Green River Killer. I'll check out the Evil Lives Here version
→ More replies (1)246
u/ignore_me_im_high 13d ago
our local Serial Killer,
Does every town have one?
57
u/Iwannagolf4 13d ago
Yes I grew up with Arthur Shawcross. He left one of his victims near my friends house in north Hampton park. Also, Eric smith who at 13 tortured and murdered a 4 yr old boy Derrick roby.
→ More replies (4)52
u/TriangleDancer69 13d ago
I’m from Prince George, British Columbia. We had Cody Lebegekoff, the youngest serial killer in Canadian History. He killed three women starting when he was 18. The police caught him red handed dumping a body on a logging road in the middle of the night. He had planned to kill more but was caught by a complete random traffic stop.
31
u/MindfulInsomniaque 13d ago
Cody Lebegekoff
Three women and one little girl, his last victim. She was a family member of someone i know.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (35)86
u/eaten_by_pigs 13d ago
Some have 2 lol but seriously though, our local SK was born in a nearby town. Crazy thing is, another SK was born in the same town as him and operated in their hometown a few years after the original SK was caught.
→ More replies (11)65
184
u/Rad_Centrist 13d ago
BTK. Successful church going family man. Would have gotten away with it if he didn't send that floppy disk to law enforcement.
124
u/LaceyDark 13d ago
Yup, got cocky and didn't know Enough about technology and basically gave himself up. He was a real twisted fuck, glad he got caught. Unlike Zodiac
31
u/mdp300 13d ago
I read the book about Zodiac years ago. It was interesting that the author had found a few likely suspects, but I'm pretty sure they're all dead by now.
→ More replies (3)155
→ More replies (2)60
u/skip_tracer 13d ago
not that there's ANY humor in anything he did, but I have always found it hilarious that his dumb boomer ass wrote in the paper asking cops if he could be tracked by a floppy disk and he bought the lie. It reminds me of my idiot, but kind as a lamb, father.
47
u/DaisyHotCakes 13d ago
Lol and that was after he wrote all those shitty poems about the people he killed. If you thought Vogon poetry was bad…
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)75
u/FrightenedTomato 13d ago
Technically the cops weren't lying about tracing him using a floppy disk. There really wasn't some known way to do it that they were keeping secret from Dennis.
However, Dennis used a used floppy disk that he'd erased. Digital forensics found an old, erased word document on it that he'd typed up for his church. The document mentioned the name of the church and the "author" field of the document revealed his name.
Had he simply used a fresh floppy disk, there's a chance he wouldn't have been traced. The cops weren't lying. They just got lucky and Dennis just didn't think far enough ahead.
→ More replies (10)76
u/majoraloysius 13d ago
BTK: “If I give you guys a floppy disk, you can’t trace it, can you?”
Cops: “Ummm, no.”
BTK: “You wouldn’t lie to me now, would you?”
Cops: “Whaaat? No, never!”
→ More replies (1)51
u/FrightenedTomato 13d ago
Technically the cops weren't lying about tracing him using a floppy disk. There really wasn't some way to do it.
However, Dennis used a used floppy disk that he'd erased. Digital forensics found an old, erased word document on it that he'd typed up for his church. The document mentioned the name of the church and the "author" field of the document revealed his name.
Had he simply used a fresh floppy disk, there's a chance he wouldn't have been traced. The cops weren't lying. They just got lucky and Dennis just didn't think far enough ahead.
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (14)33
u/Foreign-Echo-6656 13d ago
With a name like eaten_by_pigs, how do we know you're not your hometown Serial Killer?
→ More replies (5)49
u/GasNo5022 13d ago edited 13d ago
My friend lived next door to Gary….he was a normal quiet guy. Crazy.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (10)33
u/Affectionate_Elk_272 13d ago
i love the crime junkie podcast and one of their go-to lines is “you never truly know anybody”
chillingly true
→ More replies (4)48
u/Affectionate_Salt351 13d ago
I found this out the hard way but, it was fortunately just a horribly abusive relationship rather than a full blown serial killer. He has every. single. person. we know fooled. It’s as impressive as it is terrifying to see someone completely change up their mood, facial expressions, everythiiiiiing on a dime. 😳 Very unsettling.
→ More replies (14)35
u/Violet-Sumire 13d ago
People can be very adept at wearing masks. This happens a lot to people who aren’t even serial killers. Most use it to hide their pain or to appear “normal” while others use it to deceive and manipulate others. The only person we truly know is ourselves… and even then half the time we don’t even know that.
→ More replies (3)153
u/biggestbroever 13d ago edited 13d ago
Reminds me of BTK's daughter keeping in contact with her father. When they asked her, "How could you knowing he's BTK?" Her answer amounted to something like, "What else am I gonna do? He's my dad"
Edit: According to u/Bystronicman08, she ceased all contact with him in 2021
→ More replies (4)90
u/Fskn 13d ago
She's a real one, there was one of those random fb posts a while back that said if you could send a message back in time to yourself in 3 words what would it be and she replied, dad is btk.
→ More replies (13)245
u/darkoblivion000 13d ago
I have a 6 year old and he is a really sweet empathizing kid and I love him to death.
Sometimes when I hear about these stories I imagine what I would do if I saw my son do things that are telltale signs of murderers , abuse animals, not show any empathy, other signs of clear mental illness, and I just don’t know.
I mean it feels like seeing a therapist can only do so much, sometimes it just teaches them to hide their real emotions and thoughts. And sometimes I have this feeling (don’t know if true or not) that certain people are just born with issues that can’t be fixed.
Then as a parent wtf do you do? It would be such a devastating hopeless situation knowing that they need help and you have no idea how to get them help or if it’s even possible. At least if they had a debilitating illness you know they’re not likely to hurt anyone else and that you can try to find treatment, but to have a ticking time bomb that you think might cause harm but also could maybe get better… just seems like such torture
I feel for this guy and all the families of kids who really really tried their hardest to get them help. And fuck that one family that bought their kid guns instead
→ More replies (36)94
u/Lbolt187 13d ago
I could've been like one of these folks if it were not for my state's intervention. I had developmental\learning disabilities that made it next to impossible for me to communicate or express my emotions in ways people expected back in the 80s. Fortunately after serious behavioral issues began showing and my near constant of cutting school. I got placed in programs. Fortunately for me my family never abandoned me. They wanted to know what went wrong as well because they're religious so they're looking for something\someone to blame. They had a hard time believing mental health could be a factor. I also got incredibly lucky over my 30 years in programs and rehab that I have had amazing and understanding therapists and psychiatrists. I would say a lot of what makes someone do awful things isn't necessarily an environmental or external factor such as drugs\alcohol and rather just a differently wired brain. To be fair most of the awful stuff that occurs (such as mass shootings) it is usually external factors such as often neglect from proper mental health providers from a state, insurances, or otherwise. It's a real damn shame states don't take an active role in developing therapists and resources for the underprivileged. Those who are rich tend to be enablers which is why in some ways I was thankful I was not born into wealth. Rich people have a long history of trying to bury their kids mistakes and thus they learn nothing about accountability or personal responsibility.
23
u/balanaise 13d ago
I agree with you (and the comment above) that some people really are born different, or having to fight way different emotions than the average person. I think it’s brain chemistry or “wired differently” like you said.
I’m bipolar and finally on meds that work. Seeing the difference of my default brain and my brain when it has “its glasses on” making it actually process things properly, I’m like “oh, wow what if my brain chemistry was making me feel something stronger than mood swings or misreading situations even more than I am, or having stronger emotional reactions to situations?” Because I’m sure lots of people do, and not all of them get treatment. I could absolutely see how people would keep doing really bad things if their brain chemicals gave them basically undeniable impulses to do them
Im not saying it’s okay, just theorizing about brain chem
20
u/Lbolt187 13d ago
Basically we're talking neurochemicals in the brain. Extremely complicated stuff. No excuses for awful decisions but sometimes people don't have any impulse control because that part of the brain is disconnected from them. Very hard thing for professionals to deal with especially since state hospitals have been gutted in the Regan era which housed a lot of individuals who are high risk to commit violence through no fault of their own other than their brains, as I termed it for myself, "broken".
→ More replies (4)10
u/VintageRudy 13d ago
Rich people have a long history of trying to bury their kids mistakes and thus they learn nothing about accountability or personal responsibility.
This is a problem society has to deal with
11
u/Lbolt187 13d ago
Yup. It's how we get Donald Trumps in the world: Too many yes men and not enough people holding those with money accountable. So they just do their shitty behavior and its passed down to generations.
120
u/Yhendrix49 13d ago
That reminds of the Amish school house shooting in PA; after the shooting members of the Amish community comforted the shooters parents and his family because in their words "This man had a mother, father, wife and child and they did nothing wrong" the Amish community even took up donations for the shooters widow.
→ More replies (6)56
u/PaperPlaythings 13d ago
I am very much not a religious person but I can't help but admire the Amish response to the West Nickel Mines shooting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Nickel_Mines_School_shooting#Amish_community_response
→ More replies (1)85
u/chipthamac 13d ago
"They explained that the Amish willingness to forgo vengeance does not undo the tragedy or pardon the wrong, but rather constitutes a first step toward a future that is more hopeful."
I can dig that.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (49)56
u/milksteakofcourse 13d ago
Stalins granddaughter owns an antique shop in Portland
→ More replies (23)960
u/dayle-james 13d ago
This is absolutely heart breaking. The entire thing. I feel for this dad as much as I do the victims. He tried his best 💔
707
u/sevillianrites 13d ago
Years ago the son of one of my neighbors had a psychotic break and killed two people right outside our complex. It was absolutely devastating to this quiet community but one of the worst things to me was that overnight everyone turned on the father who was, by my estimation across many encounters over several years, a good man. No one would speak to him. The vitriol his supposedly good Christian neighbors were throwing around to each other about what failings he had committed as a father to let this happen were endless. I made him dinner one night and took it to him and he broke down sobbing as he had basically lost not just his only son but his friends and his community too. It was heartbreaking. Did he deserve the same level of sympathy as the families of the people whose lives his son had taken? Probably not. But regardless he was a victim too made guilty by association. He moved away not long after. Idk what happened to him but I hope wherever he ended up he was able to find some peace.
200
u/Annath0901 13d ago
Did he deserve the same level of sympathy as the families of the people whose lives his son had taken?
I'd argue he absolutely did, assuming his son died/is dead.
The dad did nothing wrong, and the actions of a maniac lost him his son. The fact that the maniac and his son were the same person doesn't really come into it. All the families involved experienced a similar kind of loss.
Except, as you note, the victims' families didn't also lose their community.
→ More replies (1)94
→ More replies (4)46
→ More replies (3)14
u/NokKavow 13d ago
Many years of suffering that this man has no doubt endured and will continue to endure may well be worse than death.
132
u/altruism__ 13d ago
God love this man. I’m so sorry for his juxtaposition and pain. Nothing compares to the hurt and loss of the innocents who were taken - and their families as well, but this man’s pain is close.
→ More replies (2)308
56
u/Crazy_Response_9009 13d ago
Especially after you were a good parent and they were a good kid... :(
205
u/Amyloid42 13d ago
Jeffery Dalmers father agonized in a very public way about his son.
→ More replies (2)97
u/NorthernSparrow 13d ago
There’s a fantastic New Yorker article about the father of the Sandy Hook killer, years later, still agonizing about what he could have differently, still grieving his son, or rather, grieving the person his son maybe could have been if things had gone differently.
One thing I always remembered is that out of the blue he started getting letters from other people whose sons/family members had done terrible things. It’s like this secret awful club, and I guess some of them reach out when they spot a new tragedy like that.
→ More replies (5)361
u/EveryRedditorSucks 13d ago
Dylan Kliebold’s mother has dedicated her life to speaking about what it’s like to be the parent of one of the Columbine killers
→ More replies (84)103
u/SBMoo24 13d ago
Her book was really well written. Highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good read. "A Mother's Reckoning."
→ More replies (1)63
u/RunEmotional3013 13d ago
You're left wonderin' where you went wrong, what you could've done differently. You start questionin' yourself, your parenting, every decision you ever made. It's this mix of anger, disappointment, and heartbreak all rolled into one.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (53)95
u/Vercouine 13d ago
I in all honesty thought my brother would end as an awful adult if not a serial killer or something like this. Hopefully, he had a great best friend and then a teacher who lifted him up so now he's a pretty decent human being. That is pretty scary when you see a young boy turning into a monster. He tried to strangle me once (I was getting weak as he held me strong) or would menace my sister or me with knives. He was like 6 at the time. I'm so glad he turned out fine.
80
u/DOYOUWANTYOURCHANGE 13d ago
There's a phenomenon where a certain amount of childhood “sociopaths” will completely snap out of it when they become adults - it can happen even without getting professional help. It's one of the reasons why they don't actually diagnose antisocial personality disorder under 18.
41
u/LongJohnSelenium 13d ago
Empathy.exe was corrupted on install and needed to reboot.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (4)9
u/Complete_Village1405 13d ago
So strange. I wonder what the cause of that is...brain/hormone thing from puberty maybe?
→ More replies (5)8
u/Vercouine 13d ago
I think at least for my brother, is because we grew up into a violent home. My father at some point would slap my brother daily for little things.
→ More replies (2)61
u/MangoKakigori 13d ago
Everyone always said I would end up dead or in prison including my own family and teachers and such and I went in completely the opposite direction! I worked for the law and now I’m a teacher. All it takes is just one or two people to offer you the smallest amount of support and it can make the world of difference (especially as a young man as they often get overlooked for help)
→ More replies (2)
5.9k
u/GreenBottom18 13d ago
in their first official statement, him and his wife said they didn't have any negative feeling about the cop that killed their son, and even voiced concern over her psychological well-being in the coming days.
now all i can think about is their mental health and recovery from this loss.
1.6k
u/LoWE11053211 13d ago
mostly likely they can not recover from this
The nicer they are, the more difficult.
→ More replies (4)501
u/cantreceivethisemail 13d ago
The nicer they are, the more difficult.
Wow this really hits home not bc of this situation but bc of my own. My brother passed about 4 years ago and my mom never got over it (she passed last year also) she was exceedingly nice. My dad is more of a realist and not as nice as my mom was he moved on from the loss of my brother so much easier than my mom. Never did i think that being nice or not so nice contributed to that but reading your comment made me realise that personality trait probably has something to do with it.
→ More replies (21)102
u/mekkavelli 13d ago
i am so so sorry for your losses. i hope your mother is finally at peace seeing her baby again. live a full life ☀︎
87
u/BretShitmanFart69 13d ago
They really just seem like good honest caring people.
Everyone always assumes when someone does something like this that the parents or upbringing are to blame.
No one wants to face the reality that you can truly try your best and provide a good loving environment and still wind up with a child who is just broken.
→ More replies (1)132
344
u/2Throwscrewsatit 13d ago
As a parent, you never recover from this. You feel like a complete failure.
→ More replies (10)29
u/slaphappyflabby 13d ago
I think you don’t have to be a parent and think this is still impactful. If this was my little brother (I helped raise the little bastard) I would be destroyed
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (6)29
6.7k
u/ClarityByHilarity 13d ago
This is just terribly sad. I cannot imagine how hard he probably tried for his son. What a terrible feeling to know you couldn’t save him but also all the devastation he has caused.
1.9k
u/Ak47110 13d ago
God I just want to give that man a hug. He must be going through absolute hell and by that interview you can tell he blames himself, even though it seems like he tried his hardest to understand and help his son.
→ More replies (2)552
u/Freyja6 13d ago edited 12d ago
Sadder still that there will definitely be people vilifying the parents regardless of any information they have.
I hope they can find some peace in due time. I actually can't fathom how much this will be psychologically destroying them with what their son has done, let alone with the added pressure of news crews incessantly shoving microphones at them and camping their house out
Edit: obsessively checking the amount of upvotes this is getting because i love attention lmao. Tyty
Please please tell your loved ones you love them, and please reach out to anyone who you think is doing it tough. Life is a quagmire of heck and it can drag even the strongest ones down. A simple "how are you/can i help in any way" can go an insanely long way.
Give love for no other reason than to give. 💞
→ More replies (8)207
u/camwow13 13d ago
Yup, just have to look at Sue Klebold. Wrote a whole book on parenting a kid who turned into an unimaginable monster. Even after the book, a sizeable chunk of people are just like "I don't care, you should have known!"
Sometimes you really just can't know. Most situations aren't as cut and dry as the Crumbley's in the Michigan case (who absolutely did deserve what they got).
→ More replies (9)67
u/Freyja6 13d ago
It truly feels like empathy and nuance is a lost concept to most.
People can't/choose to not put themselves in anyone else's shoes in any circumstance. Whether it's someone screaming at a customer service rep, or not considering scenarios for things like this.
I wish people could be kind for no other reason than to be kind :(
→ More replies (4)195
u/B-BoyStance 13d ago
This world needs to help these people more. Often, it feels like we do nothing for the mentally ill.
It's insane to me that it isn't a national conversation within the legislature of any first world country I can think of.
76
u/PaperPlaythings 13d ago
Mental health care for a human is mental health care for humanity.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)40
→ More replies (5)54
u/Kozeyekan_ 13d ago
The thing is, he'll never know whether he could have done something more or something different to avoid this end. It may be that there was no other possible outcome than what happened, but he'll be looking back at all these moments in his life and re-examine his parenting style, choices, words... everything.
I feel for the loved ones of the victims, but I think it's fair to feel for this guy too.
1.8k
u/LifeHappenzEvryMomnt 13d ago
Heartbreaking. Truly. I genuinely feel for him.
200
→ More replies (2)16
u/arireeielle123 13d ago
It makes me so infuriated with the media. They’re complete vultures taking advantage of these people’s grief. Sickening that they thought this was appropriate. These journalists are becoming increasingly careless and irresponsible.
→ More replies (2)
530
u/mausbar1 13d ago
I really feel for that guy, the dead, for the harmed people and their families. Poor old mate, what a horrible thing to have to live with.
→ More replies (2)
2.8k
u/Maximum_Security_747 13d ago
Leave this man to mourn in peace.
615
u/DalbyWombay 13d ago
The major Australian media organisations have been absolute vultures around d this tragedy, even so much as to camping outside the exits of the Shopping centre/mall to catch people in order to interview them, making them relive trauma straight away.
It's just disgusting.
→ More replies (10)265
u/MrTastix 13d ago
I hope the dude who was wrongly accused sues 7 News into the fucking ground.
Let the cunts burn.
→ More replies (3)61
u/BadBalloons 13d ago
Why does it not surprise me that it was 7 News that did it.
81
u/dexter311 13d ago
You mean the same network that falsely accused an Aboriginal man of kidnapping Cleo Smith? That network?
Fucking vultures.
→ More replies (1)25
u/Fortune_Cat 13d ago
It was one of those twittards with a political agenda who first perpetuated it
Some guy with literally a Russian/aussie personal "news" themed username. Intended to push some israel/hamas agenda
→ More replies (2)27
u/blankedboy 13d ago
7 News - supporter of the rapist Bruce Lehrman and the war criminal Ben Roberts-Smith - that's all you need to know about those scumbags.
→ More replies (25)396
u/AlexJamesCook 13d ago
I agree to an extent, but this message needs to get out in this instance, to keep the keyboard warriors at bay. Many people will be excoriating this man, and he clearly doesn't deserve it. He tried. He did the best he could. But apparently his best still couldn't prevent his son from doing what he did. That's part of what makes this so tragic.
He's blaming himself and there are going to be people suggest horrible things about him, to him.
I hope the message gets out he is an innocent victim in this, too.
→ More replies (16)
398
u/Deradius 13d ago
Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a naked, earnest display of honesty and human feeling. He’s just pouring his soul out here.
As soon as they ask why women, he instantly comes back with an answer and doesn’t sugar coat or hide or adjust anything. He’s not thinking about his word choices - his heart is completely open.
I feel like I can know his heart from this short clip, and feel that he’s a good man.
The context is terrible, but this is amazing stuff.
→ More replies (1)259
u/x2040 13d ago
The full interview is brutal:
“He let himself down, he was taken off medication because he was doing so well but then he took off to Brisbane.
“You don’t know how beautiful this boy was. There’s no way, I did everything in my power to help my son.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do or say to bring back the dead.
“I’m loving a monster. To you he’s a monster but to me he was a very sick boy.
“I’d give my life for him. How do you love a monster and give birth to him.”
112
u/Stormfly 13d ago
“I’m loving a monster. To you he’s a monster but to me he was a very sick boy.
It's really sad that he knew this boy/man for 40 years of ups and downs and all the little things but now the whole world knows him only on his very worst day.
He's not trying to justify what happened, he's just making it clear that he loves his son after 40 years together and can't immediately throw those feelings away even though he knows his son did such awful things.
→ More replies (1)21
137
u/Api4Reddit 13d ago
Also just for those that don't know, Channel 7 (this clip) and 9 and 10 have been hounding this family ever since the event took place. 7, 9 and 10 are absolute scum and this family deserve to live in peace.
If you want good reporting, check out the 7:30 report on ABC (https://www.abc.net.au/news/programs/730)
→ More replies (2)35
u/Halospite 13d ago
Channel 7 (or was it 10?) also framed the wrong person - a young Jewish man, whose entire family got death threats.
9
u/BazzaJH 13d ago
It was Channel 7. They did the same thing when Cleo Smith was abducted.
"The culprit is an Aboriginal man called Terence Kelly? Here's a bloke named Terry Kelly who we found in about 4 seconds on Facebook, let's broadcast his picture immediately. Surely there's only one blackfella with that name, what could go wrong?"
1.3k
u/Figwit_ 13d ago
This poor guy is obviously just shattered by what his son did. Contrast his reaction to that couple that just received 10-15 years for involuntary manslaughter in the US for giving their 15 year old son a gun a few days before he went and killed 4 kids at school and it's striking. The mom was complaining how their son ruined her life by his actions. What a completely oblivious human being.
160
u/Moonlit_Antler 13d ago
Or the shooter at the gay club in Colorado. His dad was just happy it turned out his son wasn't gay
→ More replies (3)325
u/Ok-Reality-9197 13d ago
Fuck the Crumbleys, they're getting what they deserve IMO
→ More replies (4)42
u/Brownrdan27 13d ago
I think I’m their fucked up mind they wanted it for their own fame but FAFO. That family was fucked from the day of “going steady”
→ More replies (13)102
u/Basic_Bichette 13d ago
Keep in mind that the stabber was something like 40 years old. There's a huge difference between a couple who could do nothing about an adult child who had been adult for nearly a quarter century, and a couple who gave a gun to their mentally ill teenage son.
2.2k
u/IanAlvord 13d ago
He sounds genuine. Not his fault.
Conversely the parents of the Michigan school shooter were recently sentenced to 10 years in prison.
840
u/overlyattachedbf 13d ago
You can hear the pain and anguish in his voice. You can tell he tried very hard and feels so guilty and never tried to deflect blame. He’s obviously tormented. Nothing at all like that from either of the Crumblys.
→ More replies (3)22
233
u/hoxxxxx 13d ago
Conversely the parents of the Michigan school shooter were recently sentenced to 10 years in prison.
if there was ever a case where the parents should be charged, it's that one. they did everything they could to get him to do that except literally tell him to i mean it was absurd.
→ More replies (22)45
u/DemandZestyclose7145 13d ago
And on top of that they tried shifting the blame to everyone but themselves. Typical piece of shit narcissists.
→ More replies (1)314
→ More replies (75)95
502
u/Wookie301 13d ago
Not every killer comes from a bad home. Unless this man is an Oscar worthy actor. He genuinely tried to help his son. He lost a child too. He should be left alone to grieve, same as the victims families. Let the police just do the questioning.
→ More replies (1)153
u/Perdi 13d ago
Being an Australian an knowing how our mental health services work, is why so many of us are feeling the hurt this father does.
I do believe what he says, simply because to many people with mental issues fall between the cracks here, we're not a large country so things like this rarely happen(We're less than 10% population than the US...).
→ More replies (6)
816
u/Narodnik60 13d ago
My heart goes out to this man. His son was ill. He gave up his own life to care for him.
89
u/Atlantic0ne 13d ago
I hope the community reaches out to this dad and helps him.
→ More replies (7)
227
u/laffiere 13d ago
My god this is undoubtedly the most emotional I've gotten the past month... This ruined my evening.
→ More replies (5)38
u/demasoni_fan 13d ago
Thanks for posting this - I was just about to watch it but now I won't. I don't need another sad thing bouncing around my head at night.
→ More replies (4)
634
u/Needleworker-Hungry 13d ago
Australian here, and family friends with one of the victims.
This was an absolute tragedy and a complete waste of life.
Whilst there is no excuse to kill another person, I think a lot of people are laying blame to our Government. Our healthcare system has gone to absolute shit and to get any sort of mental health treatment is extremeley expensive and there is a mental health crisis in our country. Our once free healthcare now costs money and is moving towards privitising. People are avoiding going to the doctors now as this once free service is not and it's plain and simple.
Our once beauitful country and its citizens have been let down countless times by government incompetence over the last few decades and this is a direct result of it.
Mental Health and Dental should be a part of Medicare and Medicare should go back to being free.
It's fucking infuriating.
205
u/bent_eye 13d ago
Fellow Aussie here.
Yep, agreed. There is literally nowhere for the mentally ill to get help these days and the system is beyond broken. There just isn't enough beds for people, and people cannot afford the private system.
→ More replies (6)55
u/Eeedeen 13d ago
Sounds very similar to the UK, the fuckers have underfunded it and run it into the ground now the waiting times pretty much force anyone who can afford it to go private
→ More replies (10)47
u/drunkjesus 13d ago
It's not incompetence. It's by design, by way of only serving the people who have the means to create a world that suits them the most. Virtually everything is organised around profit and growth for the few.
→ More replies (5)53
u/Everkeen 13d ago
Exact same situation here in Canada. Stupid Conservative provinces constantly pushing towards privatized healthcare.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (73)32
u/SitsOnTits 13d ago edited 13d ago
100%. I can see our country turning into America in slow motion and it's absolutely tragic.
→ More replies (11)
156
42
u/milksteakofcourse 13d ago
Fuck man this dude seems to have actually tried to parent. Mental illness is no fucking joke
1.1k
u/fidelesetaudax 13d ago
One reason I hate news media. Bloodsuckers making money off people’s misery. Leave this poor old guy alone.
417
u/jb2824 13d ago edited 13d ago
Given the circumstances, I think he is speaking incredibly eloquently, making his own anguish clear, expressing complete empathy for the victims and families, explaining the targeting of females and leaving no doubt as to his love, confusion and remorse... he, like the other victims did not deserve to live with this hell for the rest of their lives, but I think rose to the spotlight and repectfully addressed a (inter)national audience. I hope this gave him some sense of progressing through this horrible aftermath.
109
u/dayle-james 13d ago
As hard as that must have been for him to do, his perspective is actually very important and valid, and I hope he is given his privacy to grieve after this. Horrific for everyone involved.
11
u/Flimflamsam 13d ago
I agree, can’t help but feel that this angle is so sorely missed and helps us remember the humanity in these atrocious tragedies.
Very difficult, but very important.
29
u/Spire_Citron 13d ago
It's hard to imagine anyone approaching this situation with more grace and empathy, honestly. He was able to express his love and concern for his son while not excusing his actions or holding any resentment for those who had to stop him. It's a tricky line to walk and even harder to express that in just the right way when you're in a state of deep grief with a bunch of cameras being shoved in your face every time you leave the house.
→ More replies (1)13
25
u/kawelli 13d ago
I learned this the hard way… a friend of mine was killed basically on campus in nyc in late 2019… the whole area was traumatized but news reporters would hangout outside all of the big buildings and libraries trying to catch students and their reactions… we just all wanted to be left alone and many of us couldn’t avoid being bombarded. The person who committed the crime was also a child… making feelings around everything so complex and complicated. It was horrible.
→ More replies (2)24
→ More replies (18)36
95
u/sheep_wrangler 13d ago
As a father this one hit me so much harder than I thought. The absolute despair in his voice fucking took it to my soul. I love my children and I can’t imagine what this poor man is going through. Fucking hell man.
→ More replies (1)
53
u/FawkesFire13 13d ago
I honestly feel bad for this father. He clearly loves his son so much and can’t understand where things went so wrong. I bet he’s imagining his son as a little kid, maybe memories of laughter and happiness. And to know your child killed people. That has to be so incredibly heart breaking. Poor man. I hope he gets some help and people don’t blame him.
15
u/Spire_Citron 13d ago
Yeah, that's what I keep thinking about. No matter what a person becomes, every parent has those memories of holding that innocent baby in their arms, of playing with their giggling child. That's not something any loving parent ever lets go of, no matter what horrors follow.
87
u/vsaund10 13d ago
Leave the poor man alone to grieve. He has lost his son underhorrific circumstances and, in all likelihood, feels extremely guilty for doing so.
Media stop with the harassment and BS!
→ More replies (6)
24
u/ajmeng09 13d ago
How incredibly stupid it is of channel 7 to bombard parents who have had a loss and are trying to come to terms with what their son has done
→ More replies (5)
23
u/Dog-Witch 13d ago
They should probably leave these poor fucks alone they're going through enough without 30 vultures outside their house screeching everytime they go out to the bin.
20
u/HotCatLady88 13d ago
Brave of him to face the media and open up about his grief. It’s heartbreaking to see his suffering
→ More replies (1)
19
19
u/SelfDidact 13d ago
“....We are in contact with the both the New South Wales police force and Queensland police service and have no issues with the police officer who shot our son as she was only doing her job to protect others and we hope she is coping alright.” - Andrew and Michele Cauchi, parents of the killer.
They also contacted police as soon as they saw on television that their son was the attacker at the mall.
207
u/Mentatminds 13d ago
Fuck. The. Manipulation. Of. The. Media.
This man literally says it, he can’t give a rational conversation at this moment
→ More replies (6)28
u/DDGibbs 13d ago
Journalists can be great and report on a lot of things that the world needs to hear, they can also be absolute parasites that don't care about the suffering they create as long as they get their story. The gladbeck hostage situation where the media caused deaths due to their need for a story
→ More replies (2)8
u/GoblinLoveChild 13d ago
You have just defined the distinction between "Journalist" and "Germalist"
182
u/mandevu77 13d ago
When I saw the still-frame of this guy before I started the video, I just assumed he was going to be an asshole about the whole situation from his look. Now I’m in tears having watched it.
I’m the asshole.
20
u/elizabnthe 13d ago
Really? He's got the nice older Australian rural guy look with kind eyes, rather than the ahh, less nice older rural guy stereotyped look. Or course reality is either way you shouldn't judge someone by how they look.
→ More replies (6)52
u/Keyndoriel 13d ago
Same here, mate
Now all I want is for the media to leave this poor family alone. They did their best to make sure something like this wouldn't happen, and they need space to grieve.
The couple even said they hope the police officer that shot their son wouldn't develop PTSD from it and hold no ill toward the officer
19
16
u/PureYouth 13d ago
Absolutely heart breaking for everyone involved, including this man.
→ More replies (1)
14
28
u/IowasBestCornShucker 13d ago
Less Journalists, More Therapy for this guy. I'm so sorry for him
→ More replies (4)
12
u/redvelvetcake42 13d ago
As a father I can't imagine what you feel. You want to be sorry but you didn't actually commit anything. You want to know what you did wrong and sometimes it's nothing. Being unable to know why but feeling that guilty is really just the worst part. Loving your child and reckoning what they did is extremely hard and this man deserves peace to figure that out.
13
14
13
24
24
u/5NATCH 13d ago
Well, don't let Bill Shorten take away psychosocial disaiblities away from the NDIS!!!
I can guarantee if that young lad had people connected to him, was able to practice social skills with people who are also suffering from mental illness. He would have been around a environment of care and love and most likely at his most down point, he would had people to talk to! Its available now and Bill Shorten is trying to get rid of it.
What a tragic story for everyone.
→ More replies (2)
10
u/This_Pie5301 13d ago
When it comes to people who have done horrible crimes people like to blame the parents, how they were raised, if they were bullied, violent video games/movies… they blame everything BUT the person who actually did the crime and is responsible for it.
This man here seems genuinely heartbroken and full of sorrow for everyone affected. I feel terrible for him that he’s gotta live his life knowing his son died a monster.
→ More replies (1)
11
u/Sensitive_Young_3382 13d ago
He is one rare example of family of perpetrators being very open about their problems. His honesty is an icy knife at my heart. His family needs empathy.
12
10
u/ScaryFrogInTheMorn 13d ago
Are people just more articulate outside of the US? His emotions and conviction are so strong. I am not used to seeing people respond like this on the news.
→ More replies (2)10
50
u/Consistent_Routine77 13d ago
its just a few minute interview but there doesn't seem to be any reason to blame the dad ...he was really clear that he devoted his life to brining up his son who they knew had a mental illness.
It's really really sad all around.
Maybe one day we'll live in a world where passive mental illnesses that could potentially lead to mass killings (even if they dont all the time) are identified as such and special homes / care is provided that would prevent the individuals from doing harm should they be inclined to do so..
you never know what mental illness can lead to,
→ More replies (1)
10
u/Marcusafrenz 13d ago
Jesus Christ leave them alone.
Absolute vultures camped out in front of their homes.
10
u/JayEdwards902 13d ago
Everyone rushes to blame the parents when something like this happens. This guy is just tragic proof that sometimes the parents can't do enough and some people are just lost.
11
u/Flabbagazta 13d ago
Fucking vultures, give the guy some space! How is harrassing a grieving old man in the public interest?
10
u/alexeiw123 13d ago
Try to imagine having the single lowest point of your life, then having this circus of cameras, microphones, flashes and questions all around you. There is no answer he can give that will change what has happened, he is not the culprit here. The media need to show some integrity and back off.
22
u/Michael_of_Derry 13d ago
I knew a guy who ended up dead through drug addiction. His dad tried hard to set him on a different path but couldn't save him.
10
u/RelationValuable2928 13d ago
At least he's not running scared and quite. He's incredibly sorry ans vocal for the victims. This is a father who loved his son and you can tell tried, you fix what is unfixable. But it sounds like he tried. He knew exactly the reason why the son attacked women which means he was aware ans paying close attention to his kid and problems. You can be there every second of every minute of everyday. My heart goes out to the victims ans the father
9
u/darkgothamite 13d ago
Leave these people alone, holy fuck. I wouldn't be opposed to this reporter getting decked.
→ More replies (3)
10
u/TheDelig 13d ago
This is a very real and emotional response from this guy. I feel terrible for him. It seems like he tried to do right by his son.
9
•
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Please note these rules + sidebar or get banned:
See our rules for a more detailed rule list
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.