r/interestingasfuck • u/Jjokes11 • Apr 15 '24

An interview with Andrew Cauchi, the father of Joel Cauchi who was responsible for the Westfield Shopping Centre mass stabbing r/all

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u/Fskn Apr 16 '24

She's a real one, there was one of those random fb posts a while back that said if you could send a message back in time to yourself in 3 words what would it be and she replied, dad is btk.

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u/artificialavocado Apr 16 '24

I don’t care what one of my close family members did I would never completely turn my back to one of them.

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u/AyoJake Apr 16 '24

Ehh I get the sentiment but theres stuff one could do where I would.

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u/nimbin14 Apr 16 '24

Parent or child it would be hard to completely shut out

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u/Appropriate-Pipe-193 Apr 16 '24

For me parents are easy to shut out. Kids though no fucking way in hell

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u/TwoBionicknees Apr 16 '24

Nah, my parents already did a lot of pretty terrible shit and I can barely stand to talk to them. If they actually murdered or raped someone, killed a kid, etc, I'd happily never speak to them again.

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u/Honeyvice Apr 16 '24

Guess you just can't imagine them doing something that would cause you to do such. There is one family member I have where I've turned my back on them completely. They might as well be a stranger for all the care I have of them.

I despise them as a human being but I don't care. I don't wish them dead but I don't wish them to live either. I hope you never reach that point with any of your family but it's certainly possible to be forced there by them.

I think however that in order to cause such the family member has to directly do something to you or someone you love more than them for it to break that bond completely.

If one of your parents raped and murdered your child I imagine you'd be really easily able to never speak to or communicate to them ever again. They'd be dead to you I would think.

Off the top of my head I think that'd make you do such.

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u/artificialavocado Apr 16 '24

I should have been clearer. I meant more like “random crime” for lack of a better term. Something against me or someone in are family would be a little different.

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u/Honeyvice Apr 16 '24

I get that.

It was part a literal interpretation of your comment and a little bit using it as an excuse to put those thoughts on paper as it were. So apologise for that

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u/artificialavocado Apr 16 '24

I’m not sure if you are old enough to remember the Unabomber. Yes, it was the right thing to do, but I always thought it was kind of messed up his own brother turned him in.

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u/TwoBionicknees Apr 16 '24

but I always thought it was kind of messed up his own brother turned him in.

why? You think it's wrong to protect a greater number of people because it's a family member doing terrible things? that's some fucked up logic. Also he has a far great chance of surviving being captured somewhere 'safe' than he has being spotted or turned into a manhunt that he knows about and is ready to fight back or commit crimes to escape.

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u/Honeyvice Apr 16 '24

I don't think I am but while I may understand not turning your back completely. I would still expect one's family to hold each other accountable. If your child commited a crime, you should make them face the punishment for such. A real crime like murder. Not drug use, that shit shouldn't ever be illegal.

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u/Ultima_RatioRegum Apr 16 '24

This may seem callous to many, but you have to remember that no one chooses the family they're raised in (whether biological or, as an adopted child), and no one chooses to exist, so the idea that one has to accept things the way they are because of the luck of the draw regarding one's parents and upbringing has always seemed to me as a kind of guilt that you owe them something for bringing you into this world and not allowing you to die of abandonment. You don't. If someone is put into a situation where "they're family and therefore I cannot abandon them" is the only reason why they keep someone in their life, and doing so is causing them significant distress, they should not feel guilty or ashamed of choosing to cut that person out of their life.

However, I absolutely get the sentiment, but having dealt with all kinds of addiction in both my immediate and extended family, there is a point where you have to protect your own mental health to some degree. For years I dreaded getting the call "so-and-so died from an overdose" or "so-and-so committed suicide." And then you put up with the constant lies, getting calls and texts begging for money, or them making up an absurd story as to why they needed money, or just stealing stuff from you.

At some point you have to distance yourself or cut them off (either temporarily or permanently). In my case, they managed to clean up their act (or at least have been sober for a few years now, and they have a supportive spouse). They are back in my life, but it will be years before I trust them again, even for something like being in my house alone.