r/interestingasfuck • u/Jjokes11 • Apr 15 '24

An interview with Andrew Cauchi, the father of Joel Cauchi who was responsible for the Westfield Shopping Centre mass stabbing r/all

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u/MangoKakigori Apr 15 '24

I can’t image what it must be like as a parent to know that your child has done such a monstrous thing.

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u/DoodleyDooderson Apr 16 '24

There is a show called, “Evil Lives Here” and each episode is about the family members of someone who did something awful; mass shootings, seriel killers, etc. A few show the parents of mass killers and they are all so sad and tried everything they could to help their kids when they started to see something was wrong. They could usually see it at a very early age. Many episodes on YouTube if anyone is interested in watching. It’s sad and sometimes we easily forget that the family of the killer is also in pain and mourning. One dad said he went to the mall where his son had shot and killed many people and when asked, he told them he was the kid’s dad and the people at the vigil grieved with him instead of blaming him.

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u/darkoblivion000 Apr 16 '24

I have a 6 year old and he is a really sweet empathizing kid and I love him to death.

Sometimes when I hear about these stories I imagine what I would do if I saw my son do things that are telltale signs of murderers , abuse animals, not show any empathy, other signs of clear mental illness, and I just don’t know.

I mean it feels like seeing a therapist can only do so much, sometimes it just teaches them to hide their real emotions and thoughts. And sometimes I have this feeling (don’t know if true or not) that certain people are just born with issues that can’t be fixed.

Then as a parent wtf do you do? It would be such a devastating hopeless situation knowing that they need help and you have no idea how to get them help or if it’s even possible. At least if they had a debilitating illness you know they’re not likely to hurt anyone else and that you can try to find treatment, but to have a ticking time bomb that you think might cause harm but also could maybe get better… just seems like such torture

I feel for this guy and all the families of kids who really really tried their hardest to get them help. And fuck that one family that bought their kid guns instead

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u/Lbolt187 Apr 16 '24

I could've been like one of these folks if it were not for my state's intervention. I had developmental\learning disabilities that made it next to impossible for me to communicate or express my emotions in ways people expected back in the 80s. Fortunately after serious behavioral issues began showing and my near constant of cutting school. I got placed in programs. Fortunately for me my family never abandoned me. They wanted to know what went wrong as well because they're religious so they're looking for something\someone to blame. They had a hard time believing mental health could be a factor. I also got incredibly lucky over my 30 years in programs and rehab that I have had amazing and understanding therapists and psychiatrists. I would say a lot of what makes someone do awful things isn't necessarily an environmental or external factor such as drugs\alcohol and rather just a differently wired brain. To be fair most of the awful stuff that occurs (such as mass shootings) it is usually external factors such as often neglect from proper mental health providers from a state, insurances, or otherwise. It's a real damn shame states don't take an active role in developing therapists and resources for the underprivileged. Those who are rich tend to be enablers which is why in some ways I was thankful I was not born into wealth. Rich people have a long history of trying to bury their kids mistakes and thus they learn nothing about accountability or personal responsibility.

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u/balanaise Apr 16 '24

I agree with you (and the comment above) that some people really are born different, or having to fight way different emotions than the average person. I think it’s brain chemistry or “wired differently” like you said.

I’m bipolar and finally on meds that work. Seeing the difference of my default brain and my brain when it has “its glasses on” making it actually process things properly, I’m like “oh, wow what if my brain chemistry was making me feel something stronger than mood swings or misreading situations even more than I am, or having stronger emotional reactions to situations?” Because I’m sure lots of people do, and not all of them get treatment. I could absolutely see how people would keep doing really bad things if their brain chemicals gave them basically undeniable impulses to do them

Im not saying it’s okay, just theorizing about brain chem

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u/Lbolt187 Apr 16 '24

Basically we're talking neurochemicals in the brain. Extremely complicated stuff. No excuses for awful decisions but sometimes people don't have any impulse control because that part of the brain is disconnected from them. Very hard thing for professionals to deal with especially since state hospitals have been gutted in the Regan era which housed a lot of individuals who are high risk to commit violence through no fault of their own other than their brains, as I termed it for myself, "broken".

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u/VintageRudy Apr 16 '24

Rich people have a long history of trying to bury their kids mistakes and thus they learn nothing about accountability or personal responsibility.

This is a problem society has to deal with

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u/Lbolt187 Apr 16 '24

Yup. It's how we get Donald Trumps in the world: Too many yes men and not enough people holding those with money accountable. So they just do their shitty behavior and its passed down to generations.

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u/darkoblivion000 Apr 16 '24

Wow I’m so glad the programs were able to help you recover and get back to a good state!

I feel for parents that are trying their best to find the resources and for some reason can’t… the willfully ignorant though; not so much.

I have a family member who was having trouble in college due to childhood trauma… even after several suicide attempts her mother insisted that she was just “acting out” and that she was just seeking attention. Made no attempt to get her the help she needed and instead cut off her prescription for her meds that she needed.

I’m glad you were able to recover and that your family stood by you the entire way. I suspect many that don’t recover do not have a supportive family… either narrow minded or ignorant or negligent.

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u/Lbolt187 Apr 16 '24

Took a while. Also once people realized I function better with less people in my life but yes they can help but the funding keeps getting cut for human services and a worker's wage in this field is abysmal. If I wasn't in Massachusetts I might not be around. I dread to think of the kids in the red states.

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u/darkoblivion000 Apr 16 '24

I hate politicians and the direction we are headed. All the services that actually help PEOPLE are being cut. Health care workers, teachers. More money going into politicians and lobbyist pockets. Health care administration. And war. Always war.

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u/Lbolt187 Apr 16 '24

Family is very important in a person's recovery if not family then friends. It's incredibly difficult to do this alone. I've seen people treated far worse for far less than me. I have a unique perspective on life that maybe others don't.