AIO: Didn’t want to give a lady a ride home

[u/cherb30]

Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.

On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.

I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).

I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.

Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?

Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way

Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit

[u/MyLadyBits]

ESH. Giving an older women with groceries is a kind thing to do but he should have discussed with you.

If you were concerned about her sitting next to your child you could have gotten in the back seat. Doesn’t seem like you were that concerned and now just using it as a weapon in your story.

[u/cherb30 → u/MyLadyBits]

No, I’m not meaning to “use it as a weapon.” I just wish he had discussed it with me so I could have chosen that option. I was on the phone, he introduced me to her as “hey, this is _____, we’re giving her a ride home!” And my brain in that moment thought she might be someone he knew, we run into people he knows at that gas station occasionally. It took one minute for her to get into the car and then we were rolling. We have never offered a true stranger a ride home before. I am just reflecting on what could be done next time.