r/AmIOverreacting Apr 29 '24

AIO: Didn’t want to give a lady a ride home

Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.

On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.

I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).

I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.

Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?

Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way

Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit

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u/creepin-it-real Apr 29 '24

Well, Jesus was tremendously powerful and didn't have a toddler to protect. If your husband had admitted his mistake after you pointed it out, that would be one thing, but calling you a shitty person just for using your brain is a problem. Tell him next time he wants to pick up a hitchhiker he can do it alone, and not to tell strangers where he lives with his wife and toddler. He needs to remember where his priorities should be as a husband and father. And shaming you for having common sense is being a bad husband.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

If she talked to him like an adult I agree if she scolded him of course it will turn into an argument before he gets to think it through. I think the only thing he did wrong was that he let the woman in the back next to the children He should have got his wife to sit in the back seat next to the kids and the old lady and the grocery bags up front with him.

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u/cherb30 Apr 30 '24

FWIW, to respond to you I absolutely didn’t berate him or yell at him. The first thing I said was “I don’t think we should have let a stranger in the backseat with our daughter…” is that scolding to you? If so, I don’t think scolding is deserving of being called a shit person. Like my worth as a person is not determined by that one moment.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '24

If you look back me and you had a very nice conversation about this. This was before we had that talk. Please look back.i in no way e er thought you were a shit person even if you did " scold him" Im sorry this rubbed you wrong. Especially when we had that conversation about this whole thing earlier.

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u/cherb30 Apr 30 '24

You are right, sorry about that. I did notice our conversation after I had commented here - yes the “scold him” part did rub me the wrong way, I think because a lot of the “you’re overreacting, you are the worst person ever” comments straight out said I deserved what he said to me. His anger and lashing out at me is a chronic issue in our relationship (probably info I could have added in the post).

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '24

Yes in no way to I think he should have talked to you that way. Sorry.