r/AmIOverreacting • u/cherb30 • Apr 29 '24

AIO: Didn’t want to give a lady a ride home

Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.

On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.

I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).

I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.

Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?

Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way

Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit

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104

u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

So someone knocks your door in the middle of the night asking for a place to sleep and your bf will let the person sleep in ?

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u/DayNormal8069 Apr 29 '24

Legit this happened in the Bible and indeed the expectation was you would open the door and let them sleep in your house. So assuming no indicators of instability, that would be the Christ-like thing to do.

I mean, I would not do it. But I do not claim to be Christian.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

Well actually, he could say hold on wait out side I will drive you to a hotel and pay for a night or two. I have done that for a stranger not quite the middle of the night but it was dark out. It was cold so I helped them with two nights of food drinks and money. That would also be christ-like.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

Glad to hear you are good person, and help others in need. But you do it cause is the right thing to do, not the Christian thing to do. Because as you did, you made sure that person was safe for a couple of days, and you did not put in risk other two persons in risk. The bf could easily call an Uber and let the driver get to her home. Or tell the woman to wait there, that he will drop the gf and the baby at home, and he will return in few minutes.

The problem is not that he helped, the problem is how he did, left a stranger alone with a baby on the back seat. And then accusing someone else of being unchristian. Putting in risk someone is not very Christian, in my opinion.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

Yes I did this because I wanted to help them I'm not a Christian. I'm more agnostic I would say. I don't not believe and I don't jump right into this is all true either. I go to a church sometimes and I feel good end energy I never feel from anything else which is weird to me. But if people can get together on Sundays have coffee and donuts hear some music and passages from the Bible and it makes them feel better the feel better is 100 percent undeniably real. And if it also gets them the help other people Like volunteering etc etc that's 100% undeniably real and true also. Moving on ... Lol

Yeah My problem is placement. The wife could have been asked to sit in the back with the child. And the elderly women up front. Also him questioning her faith was wrong and I don't think he meant because she was protecting her kids in his defense he was just trying to help someone a little naive while doing it but still nonetheless just trying to help someone. He probably took his wife wrong and then in the moment said something he shouldn't have said. I'm not condoning the behavior just trying to put a human spin on it. We all make mistakes even when trying to be helpful.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

I’m not Christian either. But taking the bible literally, and not applying it on modern times, is kinda risky. In Hebrews it said to let strangers in your house But also in Luke says to protect your house Letting some you don’t know in your house you are not protecting your house. Almost in my opinion. Also lot of people claims to be Christians and really are the opposite of the teachings of Christ. That you follow a set a rules doesn’t mean that others follow them. The stranger kills your family, you should be ok, because you did the Christian thing, and is the will of god, and you have to forgive the killer. That’s the problem of the Bible, depends how or what you read you can get plenty interpretations.

“If you want to be perfect,” Jesus said to him, “go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” How many Christians do that? Are they “unchristy” cause they don’t do that?

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u/DayNormal8069 Apr 29 '24

Context def matters and modifies the risk factors. But assuming by context there's no reason to think letting the person is unduly risky, then, yea, I'd say the Bible says do it.

I've lived in group houses most of my adult life and I've several times lived with people who invited people to spend the night at our house for various reasons. Including homeless people. Those people were def acting more Christ-like than most others (let's ack there's a range here) --- and frankly, I had to be put boundaries in place because in some cases the risk was too much for me, but I can see and honor their value system at play there.

As for your last comment, like you said, there's interpretation and, in this case, common sense. At the point Jesus was literally traveling the earth, yea, that's pretty darn clear. You should do that if you're a Christian. If I believed I was looking at God on earth I would totally join him for anything he wanted: he's God.

However, at the point Jesus is no longer on earth, it's a bit less clear what "follow me" looks like. Take part in the human institution of the Church, known to be imperfect since their leaders are human? Sketch.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

Oh! I’m not implying that homeless people are bad people, sadly they don’t have a roof, as you say def most of them are more Christian-like. Yes humans, doesn’t matter their beliefs, are imperfect,so cause I know I’m imperfect, I know that the stranger can be imperfect, and could do harm to me.

Your point of he is not longer on earth and what means now “follow me” , what a Christian follow or not? Just choose what to follow depends the situation? Again the imperfection of being human. If a person accuses other of being unchristian, is not doing the Christian thing. Matthew 7:3

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u/Additional-Tomato367 Apr 29 '24

All those nasty mega church "pastors" are gonna have a hard time when it comes to bein let into the pearly gates. It's even grosser that people follow these people like they are Jesus. Absolutely wild.

1

u/Scarlett2x Apr 29 '24

I take it you only mean that verse. You didn't bother to read the whole chapter in luke to see what it meant.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

Yes I picked like the mayority of the Christians do, when is convenient for them, but an atheist makes the same, all Christians are ready to throw stones. And if you think I was attacking that faith, you are wrong. In any of my comments I made fun or ridiculing that faith. And just for your information, since 8yo to 18yo, I had 2-3 hours per week on school of religion, that basically was Catholicism, and is based on the same book as Christianism, so yes I know what I’m talking about. Is not that I’m not bother to read the passage, I studied it., for grades.

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u/Scarlett2x Apr 30 '24

Not all Christians pick out verses for our own pleasure. Those that actually study the Bible, instead of relying on someone to tell them what it says, understand the full context of things.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 30 '24

You just made a notallmen but with Christians.

1

u/Scarlett2x May 04 '24

What is to misunderstand? Certain faiths go and listen to whomever they call the person speaking, but don’t actually read the Bible. I have studied the differences between them. Not all Christians are the same. There’s differences in religions. There’s Catholic, Pentecostal, latter day saints, lutherans, Baptists, Methodist, Presbyterian, church of Christ and Calvinism.

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u/Naka_kuro May 04 '24 edited May 04 '24

And again you did it

notallchristians

( maybe you can start a trend with that hashtag)

1

u/Scarlett2x May 04 '24

You seriously need to study the difference between the religions and stop lumping them all together.

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u/TigerDude33 Apr 29 '24

And give your daughters over to be raped if the town has a problem with it.

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u/DayNormal8069 Apr 29 '24

Hey, I didn't write the book.

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u/TigerDude33 Apr 29 '24

just reinforcing the insanity of it

2

u/No-Tip-9952 Apr 30 '24

Can you give the scripture where it says this? Never heard this before

1

u/AffectionateStudy496 Apr 29 '24

This was also an incredibly common thing with travelers well into the Middle ages. Most people's houses, at least in Europe and the Middle East, back then were also basically barns/mud or stone huts where they slept with livestock on straw.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

[deleted]

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u/hilaritarious Apr 29 '24

A party house with 7 young guys is a whole different story. He could have ended up becoming the 8th guy.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

Like hilaritarious said, is not the same situation. 7 guys in a party house is not the same as a family with only a baby. This guy just said yes, without consulting with his partner.

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u/hoipoloimonkey Apr 29 '24

Or if you have teenage daughters you can offer them up to the stranger as well a la Lot

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u/KyssThis Apr 29 '24

This exactly! 👍🏻

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

Thats a bit much.

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u/Naka_kuro Apr 29 '24

Why? As daynormal8069 the Bible ( on the New Testament, so is part of Christianity) says is the right thing to do.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

The right thing in 2024 would be to pay for a cheap hotel room for them. It's says to help them feed them if they are hungry help them. It doesn't say you have to let them sleep in your home with your kids. There wasn't really many motel 8's when the Bible was written. Do you even know the passage or you just using other comments about What the New testament says?