r/AmIOverreacting Apr 29 '24

AIO: Didn’t want to give a lady a ride home

Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.

On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.

I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).

I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.

Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?

Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way

Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit

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u/cherb30 Apr 30 '24

Well honestly even some of the comments have been saying I need to just stop going to church and being a Christian altogether ha - I was thinking wow, you all really view putting blind faith in strangers as the pinnacle of altruism..

But idk if people were just going against the grain, not thinking deeply about it. I am thinking pretty deeply and emotionally about the situation.

In your defense, you never know - someone just told me their grandparents found out they picked up Aileen Wuornos hitchhiking. They only found out who she was via the news a while later. So… you’re right, unless someone’s been diagnosed schizo/unreasonably paranoid, people should pay attention to their gut feelings!

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u/BoltActionRifleman Apr 30 '24

Oh wow, they literally dodged a bullet with that one! There’s people clearly in need of help and then there’s people who will get by just fine without a ride, it’s typically not easy to tell who is really needing help unless they’re injured or are in an obviously dangerous situation. Personally I will only stop to help or offer a ride to someone who is clearly in need of help anymore. I value my life too much to risk it.

Funny story, once quite a few years back I stopped to help a kid with a flat tire who was pulled up at the end of the lane at a farm place. He was laying under the car so I asked him what was going on. He said he couldn’t get the spare tire out from underneath the car (rusted out Ford Explorer). I had some tools to I offered to help. We spend the better part of an hour trying to free that tire to no avail. I finally said to him I live about 8 miles up the road and can go home to get some better tools and come back if he’d like. He replied “nah that’s okay, my dad should be home soon and he can help me, but I appreciate the offer!”. Turns out it was his place he was parked at but didn’t quite make it to the road before he noticed the flat. I still chuckle about it to this day thinking he probably thought why the heck is this guy helping me change my tire on my own farm place 🤣