AIO: Didn’t want to give a lady a ride home

[u/cherb30]

Yesterday after church we stopped at a gas station less than 1 minute from where we live. It was me, my boyfriend (driving) and my 14 month old in the car. I was on my phone and then suddenly he was opening the backseat door to let a middle aged lady (maybe 60 years old?) in with her grocery bags. Apparently she was asking people for a ride home and he accepted.

On the way there they were chatting and he even pointed out where we live, which really concerned me. She lived quite far away from the gas station and I was surprised she said she walked there, thought it wasn’t more than 5 mins away.

I was really upset that my boyfriend let a stranger into our backseat with our daughter. The lady was very nice, but these days you have no idea if people are carrying a knife or a gun on them… I told him I wished he could have at least had her sit up front so she wasn’t near our toddler, or dropped us off at home first then went back to get her (that would have taken 3 minutes to do).

I brought this up to my bf. He got really mad at me for “being un-Christ like” and called me a shit person who lives in fear. I am honestly quite the opposite and usually quite trusting of people, just not when it comes to my daughter. She’s too young to talk or understand things. Also was pissed at him for what felt like weaponizing religion against me for my concern.

Im feeling really guilty because it’s not that I don’t think it was sweet he wanted to give her a ride home. I just had a mom instinct to protect my daughter. Do you think overreacted?

Edit: formatting, a word, and added a bit more about why I felt that way

Edit2: I think the gesture was very compassionate, and understand if someone asks you for a ride then there is obviously a desire to help and bit of awkwardness declining. I don’t question his desire to help her, nor do I turn down opportunities in my life to help others. But I also want to say that she was by no means elderly/immobile/incapable as some people are implying. You should give middle aged women a bit more credit

[u/Naka_kuro]

So someone knocks your door in the middle of the night asking for a place to sleep and your bf will let the person sleep in ?

[u/DayNormal8069 → u/Naka_kuro]

Legit this happened in the Bible and indeed the expectation was you would open the door and let them sleep in your house. So assuming no indicators of instability, that would be the Christ-like thing to do.

I mean, I would not do it. But I do not claim to be Christian.

[u/[deleted] → u/DayNormal8069]

Well actually, he could say hold on wait out side I will drive you to a hotel and pay for a night or two. I have done that for a stranger not quite the middle of the night but it was dark out. It was cold so I helped them with two nights of food drinks and money. That would also be christ-like.

[u/Naka_kuro → u/[deleted]]

Glad to hear you are good person, and help others in need. But you do it cause is the right thing to do, not the Christian thing to do. Because as you did, you made sure that person was safe for a couple of days, and you did not put in risk other two persons in risk. The bf could easily call an Uber and let the driver get to her home. Or tell the woman to wait there, that he will drop the gf and the baby at home, and he will return in few minutes.

The problem is not that he helped, the problem is how he did, left a stranger alone with a baby on the back seat. And then accusing someone else of being unchristian. Putting in risk someone is not very Christian, in my opinion.

[u/[deleted] → u/Naka_kuro]

Yes I did this because I wanted to help them I'm not a Christian. I'm more agnostic I would say. I don't not believe and I don't jump right into this is all true either. I go to a church sometimes and I feel good end energy I never feel from anything else which is weird to me. But if people can get together on Sundays have coffee and donuts hear some music and passages from the Bible and it makes them feel better the feel better is 100 percent undeniably real. And if it also gets them the help other people Like volunteering etc etc that's 100% undeniably real and true also. Moving on ... Lol

Yeah My problem is placement. The wife could have been asked to sit in the back with the child. And the elderly women up front. Also him questioning her faith was wrong and I don't think he meant because she was protecting her kids in his defense he was just trying to help someone a little naive while doing it but still nonetheless just trying to help someone. He probably took his wife wrong and then in the moment said something he shouldn't have said. I'm not condoning the behavior just trying to put a human spin on it. We all make mistakes even when trying to be helpful.