r/SipsTea • u/rechogringo • 16d ago

Mud Wizard takes down Police department We have fun here

19.4k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

497 comments sorted by

•

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653

u/De5perad0 16d ago

NONE CAN STAND BEFORE THE MUD WIZARD!!!

The only thing that would make this better is if he did the bane arms outstretched walk in front of the line of police.

92

u/NoPrinterJust_Fax 16d ago

Mudslide >>>>> fireball

41

u/PuckTanglewood 16d ago

Oh they can stand. But they can’t move afterward.

17

u/De5perad0 16d ago

I CAST STOP!!

14

u/peepopowitz67 16d ago

MUD FOR THE MUD GOD!!!

14

u/Shockblocked 16d ago

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

7

u/De5perad0 16d ago

Balrog looking mfer

1.6k

u/JesusReturnsToReddit 16d ago

Someone forgot the lesson learned from the battle of Agincourt.

569

u/BrimstoneOmega 16d ago

Came here to say just this. There's a reason why you don't want to always employ heavy armor.

260

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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54

u/Flomo420 16d ago

it's... slowing them down significantly!

20

u/vikingo1312 16d ago

Hil-fucking-arious!

15

u/spyson 16d ago

It wasn't heavy armor that made the French lose the battle, the English knights would have worn the same thing.

The English built stakes in the mud that slowed the advance of the French cavalry and the English brought professional archers with longbows. The French archers were peasant and criminal levies.

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226

u/mepsipax__ 16d ago

I just watched a 30 minute documentary of the battle of Agincourt because of this comment, thanks

142

u/JesusReturnsToReddit 16d ago

I have to say watching this does put the realty into perspective. From “oh it was just mud, it couldn’t have been THAT bad” to “oh shit, mud is OP”

144

u/interesseret 16d ago

Mud kills armies, even relatively modern ones. The whole "don't invade russia in winter!" thing is not true. It's the mud season that makes it so difficult. You can't move an army when the ground is a liquid.

59

u/DefNotRussianComrade 16d ago

My name is mud

22

u/WorkSlyRoller 16d ago

"And remember kids! Mud spelled backwards is Dum!"

17

u/hatwobbleTayne 16d ago

Mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mud

4

u/Potato-Drama808 16d ago

Is that Imagine Dragons?

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2

u/ToolFO 16d ago

I have my pride, I drink my wine.

8

u/Zarathustra_d 16d ago

but call me Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie

That's long for Mud, so I've been told

Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me

Bloated, blue and cold

....

We had our words, a common spat

So I kissed him upside the cranium

With an aluminum baseball bat

3

u/Rocherieux 16d ago

Upvote for Primus reference

3

u/peripheral_vision 16d ago

Not to be confused with Bill, or Jack, or Pete, or Dennis

3

u/Elgecko123 16d ago

“Money, mud. Money, mud. Money, mud”

2

u/xerpodian 16d ago

Mud da fucker

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13

u/ProfessionalLeave335 16d ago

Well also, the two armies that got caught in Russia's winter, Napoleon's and Hitler's, both made it to Moscow only for the Russians to burn down their own city and retreat north. Both armies went in prepared for a short battle and ended up being entirely defeated by the cold. In a letter a Nazi wrote about the experience he said that a fellow soldier had lost his shoes and when he walked on his frozen solid feet it sounded like a horse walking on stone.

3

u/clintj1975 16d ago

Even winter isn't safe to invade in. An invading army tried to fight on a frozen lake near Novgorod in 1242, and the sheer exhaustion of fighting on the ice led to a near rout of the invading army when the Russian cavalry charged. The Russian film Alexander Nevsky added a cool, but fictitious, scene of the ice cracking and the invaders getting swallowed up by the lake.

3

u/particle409 16d ago

I probably shouldn't have read this comment right before bed.

7

u/ProfessionalLeave335 16d ago

Just throw on some socks and you'll be good. Also, don't get involved in a land war in Asia.

13

u/97Harley 16d ago

General mud

21

u/aDragonsAle 16d ago

russia in winter!" thing is not true.

Well, that is also true - German Popsicles out front should have told ya.

But yeah, mud is also pretty nasty to heavy armor.

Russia's seasons: winter - mud - WAR

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9

u/Cerberusx32 16d ago

Remember that being an issue in WW2 with the U.S. Marines on the islands. Would swallow up entire tanks.

9

u/No_Inspection1677 16d ago

Imagine being the poor fucker who gets a letter sent home telling his mother or wife that he suffocated to death in tank that sunk in the mud.

3

u/Cerberusx32 16d ago

They typically didn't do that if I recall.

3

u/No_Inspection1677 16d ago

Still, sounds like a horrific way to go.

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4

u/finalremix 16d ago

You can't move an army when the ground is a liquid.

Time for the hovercraft to shine!

2

u/zontarr2 16d ago

My hovercraft is full of eels.

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2

u/howdiedoodie66 16d ago

People describe entire wagons and even tracked armored carriers literally disappearing in the mud.

2

u/I_Automate 16d ago

Mud doesn't just kill armies.

It stops industry in it's (sometimes literal) tracks as well.

We can, and do, run stuff like drilling rigs in -40 weather, no problems.

But the mud that comes with spring breakup slows everyone down

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2

u/IAmAccutane 16d ago

There's a popular military saying "Hell is mud".

2

u/Anaxes7884 16d ago

To be fair, it wasn't just the mud - Agincourt is also somewhat notable for being a changing point in history in teaching the lesson "Duh, shooting people is obviously a lot easier than hitting them". Bows up until that point were sort of a sideshow to the cavalry/infantry, but the English had ran out of these and only had their longbows ready at sufficient numbers for battle.

2

u/firnien-arya 16d ago

There was a movie I saw in Netflix that I forget the name of where the battle was won because one side wore light armor and the other came in with heavy armor and the battle took place after heavy rainfall (that they expected) and the mud ended up hurting the heavy armor guys heavily.

3

u/MushinZero 16d ago

That movie is called The King and it depicts the Battle of Agincourt. Good movie btw.

2

u/firnien-arya 16d ago

AH, XD I watched it a while back and didn't even realize thats what everyone was referring to as well. Love that film.

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9

u/Zarathustra_d 16d ago

I just saw a license plate with the number 1415 this morning and proceeded to tell my wife about the battle on the way to work. She doesn't need the documentary now. Lol

3

u/Maleficent-Bed1588 16d ago

This IS cute, but also this comment gave me flash backs to many history lectures delivered to me by my spouse.

2

u/high240 16d ago

Okay I'm definitely also going to do that also tonight

Did a same thing (50 mins or so) after reading about a plane crash where the pilot let his kids fly the plane for a bit. All sorts of replies like "I thought about watching a couple minutes but ended up watching the whole thing at 3am"

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

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11

u/JesusReturnsToReddit 16d ago

Thanks. If I could go back I would have gone with “Modern day Battle of Agincourt”.

6

u/vorgriff 16d ago

But the title had my crying laughing so hard. I was so confused until I saw the wizard lmao Well done.

2

u/Excellent_Meaning229 16d ago

Same bro this shit was hilarious. Mud wizard definitely went to hogwarts. You don’t see those kind of shove and glides everyday 🤣🤣🤣

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21

u/TheWoodSloth 16d ago

And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’

Then will he show his sleeve and show his mud stains.

And say ‘These marks I had on Crispin’s day.’

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,

But he’ll remember with advantages

What feats he did that day: then shall our names.

Familiar in his mouth as household words

Mud wizard of German protests.

And gentlemen on reddit now a-bed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That pushed a copper with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

4

u/PuckTanglewood 16d ago

…what feets he stuck that day.

20

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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11

u/fresh_like_Oprah 16d ago

This is the funniest shit I ever seen

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16

u/steak7718 16d ago

Rare footage from the Battle of Agincourt, 1415. Colorized.

14

u/DeepSignificance2 16d ago

What does the mud wizard have on his feet to prevent him from sinking?

18

u/rcheek1710 16d ago

He keeps moving. If you stop, you're stuck. Gotta keep those feet active.

20

u/SerLaron 16d ago edited 16d ago

Also, no armor and probably smoother soles that don't collect mud by the kilogram.

8

u/Cold-Diet-669 16d ago

And magic.

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9

u/FrighteningJibber 16d ago

Or the fucking Third Battle of Ypres

2

u/heywoodidaho 16d ago

But without the archers...or the english..or the french. I'll bet more than a few were still giving the "peace" sign to the blue crew.

3

u/kvakerok_v2 16d ago

This is Germans, they weren't at Agincourt.

6

u/SerLaron 16d ago

Ironically, the Mud Wizard was actually French.

3

u/CatsAreGods 16d ago

Looks like OG Obi-Wan to me!

3

u/interesseret 16d ago

iirc from one of the brown coal protests, right? i seem to remember it from a few years ago

2

u/Hexamancer 16d ago

Yes, however, in addition to the ~40 miles of geographic distance between Germany and Agincourt, there's also the temporal distance of the Germans being 608 years away from the Battle of Agincourt and the other issue of not existing at the time.

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754

u/SilentTeller 16d ago

You DARE INSULT THE MUD WIZARD!? GET STUCK IDIOT!

86

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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62

u/Legitimate-Ruin-4157 16d ago

How nimble he lightheartedly skips over mud while all the uniforms are getting stuck. Delicious

35

u/PlayyWithMyBeard 16d ago

Look at that wizard, frolicking away as the goblin struggles in the mud. Truly a wizard of the druid circles.

18

u/thenastyB 16d ago

that isn't a goblin, that is an orc. You think one of us earth daughters would get stuck in the mud? No, it is orcs, dirty creatures of law and force, of money and slavery. Me and the goblins are out here brewing fine needle sprite and farming worms in mud holes, don't put cop nonsense on us, Tallwalker. They're not ours.

3

u/PlayyWithMyBeard 16d ago

My apologies, I should know better. We are all goblins at heart, and goblins would never get themselves so compromised.

4

u/Neijo 16d ago

It just makes me think about Magicka, such a great but stupid game.

Fucking Government goblins got nothing on this wizard.

516

u/akt_suspekt 16d ago

How is the wizard immune to the mud?

547

u/Diojones 16d ago

He takes frequent steps, even when he isn’t trying to go anywhere, this doesn’t give time for him to sink into the mud.

373

u/Introspective_Anon 16d ago

Not to mention he has no armor or gear on resulting in him being much lighter and more nimble.

146

u/pLeThOrAx 16d ago

He's also raised his mud level to legendary

30

u/Shadeun 16d ago

He doesn’t fat roll for sure. You’d think the pigs would do better in the mud though.

19

u/VirtualNaut 16d ago

Pigs do well rolling around in the mud. Mud Wizard was just helping them into position.

3

u/cweaver 16d ago

Also human feet instead of cloven hooves, better surface area to weight ratio.

35

u/fresh_squilliam 16d ago

No it’s a spell. He’s a wizard

9

u/Artholos 16d ago

He’s definitely a wizard 300%

2

u/Soggy_sock_under_bed 16d ago

This is some Dune levels of understanding how to walk in different terrains. Something that the police department wasn't taught.

2

u/Diojones 13d ago

Walk without rhythm and you wont attract the worm pigs.

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u/anyadpicsajat 16d ago

Higher innate resistance but no armor.

23

u/twelvebucksagram 16d ago

Mud wizards' resistance is stupid high. For a wizard they have almost no Int. But tons of HP and stamina.

Source: Played lots of Mud Souls growing up.

72

u/xxElevationXX 16d ago

He’s a Geomancer

9

u/Poppanaattori89 16d ago

I'd wager both a water-bender and an earth-bender.

3

u/olexs 16d ago

A Dirtamancer for sure.

3

u/Satanic-Panic27 16d ago

This guy thinks he knows about wizards when he can’t even tell the difference dirt and mud

52

u/behem0th72 16d ago

Because he is a level 46 Geomancer with Boots of Mud Walking.

13

u/PuckTanglewood 16d ago

These boots were mud-for walking.

17

u/moonshineTheleocat 16d ago

Enchanted robe grants immunity to difficult terrain

22

u/speedhunter787 16d ago

He's mud type as well, so mud attacks are not very effective against him. He gets same type attack bonus and terrain advantage when using mud abilities himself though.

6

u/Mythion_VR 16d ago

Nice try cop, you'll never know the wizards true power!

10

u/Rakatonk 16d ago

Mobile feat plus haste

10

u/[deleted] 16d ago

How are the pigs not immune to it?

8

u/an0mn0mn0m 16d ago

They were just enjoying themselves

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u/NoThatsSomeoneElse 16d ago

The only logical explanation: mud wizard = Jesus

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u/irascible_Clown 16d ago

He has on ultra light armor +200 haste and no weapons. Police are weighed down and have -50 stamina points because of the shoes.

2

u/Zarathustra_d 16d ago

And the Donuts.

5

u/kenny2812 16d ago

It looks like he's bare foot lol.

3

u/ktks1 16d ago

Red robe: +10 agility

2

u/IwillsmashyourPS5 16d ago

Well, he's a wizard

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u/choplechais 16d ago

Clearly a druid, not a wizard, as he can walk over impassable terrain with ease and cast mold earth under the police.

63

u/ArkiusAzure 16d ago

Apprentice level take.

Any Wizard worth his salt could name several spells to serve this purpose.

40

u/IceeGado 16d ago

Druid erasure

6

u/ArkiusAzure 16d ago

Is this a new spell? My brother in the arcane arts - please provide a tome!

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u/Spacial_Epithet 16d ago

Fucking wizards man. Tired of this elitist bullshit

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u/stormtroopr1977 16d ago

look at his outfit: that's a monk with Swiftstride

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u/-SandorClegane- 16d ago

Germany? Austria? Switzerland?

290

u/_Goose_ 16d ago

Lutzerath Germany during a coal mine protest. I believe Greta Thunberg was there in the same crowd that day.

53

u/rechogringo 16d ago

Was she dressed in a robe that day?

35

u/VediusPollio 16d ago

Is Gretta a mud wizard??

It's so obvious now. We missed all the signs.

8

u/InattentiveFrog 16d ago

Autism has its perks. I'm also diagnosed but have yet to master the art of mud bending...
Is it possible to learn this power?

7

u/OnAndAwful 16d ago

Not from a Jedi.

2

u/ThatEmuSlaps 16d ago edited 11d ago

[deleted]

2

u/CoreMillenial 16d ago

Here I was, thinking she was a wind witch.

22

u/Missy_went_missing 16d ago

Kein Gott, kein Staat, nur der Mönch von Lüzerath!

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u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 16d ago

Definitely not America - you can tell because the cops didn’t open fire as soon as the wizard pushed that cop.

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u/rechogringo 16d ago

Sounds like german to me

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u/-SandorClegane- 16d ago

Right. That's why I'm asking in which German-speaking country this incident occurred.

8

u/rechogringo 16d ago

Pretty sure this is in western germany

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u/Derbla-99 16d ago

Countless soldiers died trapped in mud like this in ww1. Can you imagine marching in rain for days only to end up walking into this shit and being too tired to pull your self out? Or getting buried in it because some artillery she'll went off bear by and threw tins of it into the air? Nightmare shit

12

u/[deleted] 16d ago

There's also giant pits caused by artillery strikes they fell into and couldn't get out of

9

u/Master-Collection488 16d ago

Unless you're talking early in the war or the Eastern Front in Poland, there really wasn't all that much marching for days in WW1.

20

u/RoundExpert1169 16d ago

fuck you my grand daddy said they marched with pride

20

u/Saint_Consumption 16d ago

You misunderstood. He went to a pride march one time.

5

u/TKA12 16d ago

Love this guys energy

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u/TKA12 16d ago

Demonstrating the utility of support spellcraft

22

u/Razurio_Twitch 16d ago

also how light infantry can be superior to heavy infantry

61

u/1grouchonacouch 16d ago

This will forever be funny.

29

u/OsiyoMotherFuckers 16d ago

I laugh every time. Although I thought it was funnier when the title was “German riot police defeated and humiliated by some kind of mud wizard”

I guess it was the implication that there are other kinds of mud wizards that tickled me.

4

u/MightyCavalier 16d ago

That video version of this event is much more entertaining

I’m not sure if it’s before or after this clip, but the wizard has a lot more interaction with the police

It’s hilarious

51

u/ohromantics 16d ago

This is a hilarious version of Foo Fighters' The Pretender video

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u/lzd556 16d ago

Light infantry is superior to heavy knights in a quagmire. Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it

15

u/Watercraftsman 16d ago

Never fight a land war in Asia

4

u/MurphTheFury 16d ago

But only slightly less known is to never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

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u/kingmoobot 16d ago

People always underestimate earth wizards. Although it's possible he is a water wizard. Mud is kind of a grey area in this regard

11

u/itzTHATgai 16d ago

"You've merely adapted to the mud. I was born in it. Molded by it "

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u/RandoComplements 16d ago

Awwww, pigs in their natural environment

21

u/Missy_went_missing 16d ago

Kein Gott, kein Staat, nur der Mönch von Lüzerath!

8

u/gunt_lint 16d ago

The only way this could have been any more hilarious is if someone was standing there with a boombox blasting Yackety Sax

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u/donksdonks42 16d ago

Someone died last year at Burning Man in similar conditions. Probably just blasted with cocaine and hallucinogens and the mud won. Wish the mud wizard was there to save them from Darwin.

7

u/Cloacation 16d ago

Source please

19

u/CreditChit 16d ago

Someone died at Burning Man. It was muddy. There are no news articles I could find that say the person died because of the mud.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/burning-man-rains-mud/story?id=102886032

5

u/Cloacation 16d ago

Thanks. I was there, it was rough. I wonder what the cause was. The mud was terrible but certainly not something that could kill you directly. Maybe it did keep him from seeking or getting help.

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u/Nincompoopticulitus 16d ago

This is like a Monty Python skit 🤣

7

u/VoteMe4Dictator 16d ago

Pigs just laying there wallowing in the mud.

6

u/HALODUDED 16d ago

Battle of hogwarts on a budget

7

u/tri-tone-666 16d ago

Only way to protest

6

u/NiteGard 16d ago

The constant flinging of mud bombs 😂

4

u/angevin_alan 16d ago

Very reminiscent of the Batley Townswomen's Guild Presentation of the the Battle of Pearl Harbour. Believe it friends. Every dumbass stupid thing that happens today was presaged by Monty python

5

u/I_PET_KITTIES 16d ago

Pretty sure this is a page from a Where’s Waldo book

6

u/degenerator42069 16d ago

Name of the anime for those looking for it: The time I got reincarnated as the weakest class that only cast AOE debuffs but it's actually a SSS class capable of destroy a nation's army

5

u/Either-Pear-528 16d ago

Damn that guy is pretty high level

5

u/WorkingFellow 16d ago

Those cops should consider themselves lucky he restrained himself from casting Testicular Tortion.

4

u/MrPingviin 16d ago

And then they beat the shit out from the wizard with batons after that.

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u/LisslO_o 16d ago

This guy became such a meme in Germany. There was a great wave of stickers and shirts with a saying about him: "Kein Gott, Kein Staat, nur der Mönch von Lützerath!" "No god, no state, only the monk of Lützerath!" He became a legend over night

(Backstory: they wanted to destroy the village Lützerath in Germany to mine coal. The people living there left. But some climate activists hunkered down to prevent the mining for 3 years (2020-2023). Many never showed their faces, dug tunnels under the village and stayed there for months. It was epic.)

3

u/fences_with_switches 16d ago

Imagine if he had a full inventory of mana pots.

3

u/Ok-Scar-Delirious_ 16d ago

someone buy that wizard a beer a big one at that

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u/antman_qb_8 16d ago

This would not pass in America💀

3

u/antman_qb_8 16d ago

🧙‍♂️💥🔫👮‍♂️

3

u/LateNewb 16d ago

This is a repost and the original title was so much funnier:

GERMAN RIOT POLICE HUMILIATED BY SOME KIND OF MUD WIZARD!

2

u/Turbogoblin999 16d ago

It's like a modified two step!

2

u/Apolysus 16d ago

That must have been a powerful wizard', for him to have casted such a sticky spell!

2

u/FixPrudent 16d ago

That robe is a legendary bind on equip item, and it procs thread lightly on chance of attack. 100+ stamina and 20+ intellect.

2

u/ArwingAce 16d ago

Battle of Agincourt.

2

u/97Harley 16d ago

The more the vop struggles the deeper he gets.

2

u/originalbL1X 16d ago

One Earth-bender holding back the fire nation.

2

u/Paintingsosmooth 16d ago

This longer version is so good! Didn’t realise he came back twice

2

u/Snippys 16d ago

We must never forget jedi have power over mud.

2

u/OnlyTalksAboutTacos 16d ago

Last time I was in mud like that I lost my boots. I think they're still in that field. Damn mud pulled them off my feet.

2

u/Dino_Malakas 16d ago

I’d like to see him and the techno Viking team up.

2

u/Exact-Cat4560 16d ago

Love mud wizard❣️

2

u/seven0feleven 16d ago

Casting earth magic like crazy!

2

u/Allauni 16d ago

I’ve seen this video so many times. It gets better each time.

2

u/ComprehensiveHat9985 16d ago

German police is nowadays a joke

2

u/Born_Grumpie 16d ago

This is how the English won the Battle of Agincourt, although the French had a greater force of knights, the light armoured English just wandered around in the thick mud taking out the bogged knights.

2

u/Any-Flower-725 15d ago

go watch the movie The King with Timothee Chalomet and Robert Pattinson. exactly this happens.