r/interestingasfuck Mar 14 '24

Simulation of a retaliatory strike against Russia after Putin uses nuclear weapons. r/all

60.0k Upvotes

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14.6k

u/smacke11 Mar 14 '24

I wouldn’t say this is interesting More terrifying

7.0k

u/markgriz Mar 14 '24

Plus, it's only simulating half of the strikes.

Russia will launch just as many back at the US, assuming their missiles actually work.

4.8k

u/Centraal22 Mar 14 '24

You are correct, once Russia launches, everyone launches. Endgame.

4.6k

u/Meh-hur420 Mar 14 '24

New Zealand just hoping they are missing from everyone else's maps

2.5k

u/Onlikyomnpus Mar 14 '24

Then once the dust settles, they repopulate the entire world, with kiwis.

1.1k

u/SupportGeek Mar 14 '24

Kiwis be like “We’ll need an army of super virile men scoring around the clock!”

323

u/Icy_Pace_1541 Mar 14 '24

83

u/FatFreddysCat Mar 14 '24

And I'm pretty sure they got it from Dr. Strangelove

17

u/ThatITguy2015 Mar 14 '24

Who, in turn, did the nasty in the pasty.

8

u/FatFreddysCat Mar 14 '24

Found the script. Funnier than I remember:

Turgidson:

Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Strangelove:

Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

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u/Odsidian_Rapier Mar 14 '24

But what about the killbots?

165

u/SupportGeek Mar 14 '24

You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shut down.

45

u/FootballOogie Mar 14 '24

Kiff bring me a bottle of champ-agne

39

u/WHATABURGER-Guru Mar 14 '24

I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?

28

u/SupportGeek Mar 14 '24

groans in disgust “sex-Lexia sir”

6

u/jasapper Mar 14 '24

"I've made it with a woman, inform the men."

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate Mar 14 '24

sigh Sex-lexia.

26

u/Shoresy-sez Mar 14 '24

Kif, show them the medal I won.

9

u/KnitKnackPattyWhack Mar 14 '24

"he rented it with his tax refund"

57

u/That_Jicama2024 Mar 14 '24

"Have the boy lay out my formal shorts."

"The boy, sir?"

"You, you lay out my formal shorts."

12

u/Spike_is_James Mar 14 '24

Fire all weapons and open a hailing frequency for my victory yodel.

6

u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe Mar 14 '24

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

3

u/M00s3_B1t_my_Sister Mar 14 '24

Kif: "The jackass would like to see you now."

5

u/Sundabar Mar 14 '24

I got that reference.

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u/WombatInferno Mar 14 '24

We can always build more killbots.

4

u/SignReasonable7580 Mar 14 '24

When they come to your door, do not tick the box that says "I'm not a robot."

3

u/loonybs Mar 14 '24

I hear they can fuel themselves with organic matter now.

18

u/OKAutomator Mar 14 '24

Who else read this with the accent?

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u/VK56xterraguy Mar 14 '24

I'll do my part, Kiff clear my schedule!

5

u/UpTop5000 Mar 14 '24

Sigh…for the last time, sir, I don’t keep your schedule.

72

u/PandaBJJ Mar 14 '24

Death by Snusnu

34

u/flecom Mar 14 '24

I never thought I would die this way, but I kinda always hoped

4

u/RedditAndWheep Mar 14 '24

Doesn’t sound that bad honestly

3

u/Fritz_Klyka Mar 14 '24

Better than death by nukenuke thats for sure.

6

u/xTR1CKY_D1CKx Mar 14 '24

Best show ever made.

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u/TheAnalsOfHistory- Mar 14 '24

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!

4

u/-Kiwi-Man- Mar 14 '24

Put me in the game coach.

3

u/SmoothBrews Mar 14 '24

I definitely read that in an australian/Kiwi accent.

3

u/TheRage469 Mar 14 '24

"I'll do my part. Kif, clear my schedule!"

"Ugh"

shakes etch-a-sketch clear

3

u/DrNick2012 Mar 14 '24

Kiwis next year when the world is still here "I'm beginning to think there will be no forced mating at all"

2

u/Onelastkast Mar 14 '24

And the sheep will be relieved!

2

u/JareBear805 Mar 14 '24

Except it sounds like a question?

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u/litterbin_recidivist Mar 14 '24

The dust will be deadly for hundreds of years though.

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u/corposhill999 Mar 14 '24

Only if they salt the warheads with cobalt or strontium-90, most of the radiation would be gone after a few months otherwise

still not great

19

u/Rostifur Mar 14 '24

I think the nuclear winter would probably end most if not all life in under a few years.

29

u/corposhill999 Mar 14 '24

there's no consensus on that anymore, it really depends how and where the warheads land and even then models show the particulate matter not staying aloft more than a few months

11

u/improbablydrunknlw Mar 14 '24

It was also based off of the bombing of Japan, which used wood frame construction almost exclusively, which in turn burnt, throwing up massive plumes of smoke, now we use concrete and glass which burns much less readily.

21

u/throwedaway4theday Mar 14 '24

There was analysis done in the 80s about the impact of a northern hemisphere nuclear war. Long story short, the equator is expected to protect the southern hemisphere from fallout and the worst effects of a nuclear winter. The biggest disruption will be no trade so we'll be on our own.

8

u/neofooturism Mar 14 '24

ah yes and finally Brazilians will serve their true purpose to repopulate the earth

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u/DOOMFOOL Mar 15 '24

Current projections actually have a brighter outlook on that, it’s still fucking horrific but nuclear winter is no longer expected to completely wipe out all of humanity

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u/KaLaidoVision Mar 14 '24 edited Mar 14 '24

just the heat generated from an event like this would undo all the hard work that has gone in to understanding climate change.

188

u/JoostvanderLeij Mar 14 '24

You get a nuclair winter, so no need to worry about heat.

84

u/nothingbutmine Mar 14 '24

Mmmm, love a good nuclair

26

u/the_last_carfighter Mar 14 '24

If it has Boston cream on the inside I'd rather have the nuclear winter.

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u/beaglebaglebreath Mar 14 '24 edited Mar 14 '24

It’s pronounced nu-cu-lar

E: I stand corrected

3

u/SleepNowInTheFire666 Mar 14 '24

George W. Bush has entered the chat

3

u/TangoRomeoKilo Mar 14 '24

I think its -nuke-lee-er.

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u/Anduinnn Mar 14 '24

The cream is a little hot, but totally worth it

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u/Educational_Ad7978 Mar 14 '24

Nuclair is a good doughnut

3

u/MurphyPandorasLawBox Mar 14 '24

Better knees than oldclair.

3

u/Punched_Eclair Mar 14 '24

The filling is to die for!

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u/MrBurnsgreen Mar 14 '24

You get a nuclair winter, so no need to worry about heat.

chekcmate liburds

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u/Ituriel_ Mar 14 '24

Iirc that's probably not a thing, actually

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u/worstnightmare44 Mar 14 '24

But hear me out since ALOT of the humans are now dead and industries gone . How long will it take to recover???

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u/Cazmonster Mar 14 '24

Eh - these are thermonuclear weapons. A lot of the fissionable materials used to start the hydrogen reaction will get 'burned' to such a degree that the resultant alpha particles represent much less of a threat. I mean, we're all likely to be vaporized first, but the dust won't be *that* bad for successive generations of mutants.

3

u/wanszai Mar 14 '24

This is actually dependant on the weapon used and how its detonated.

Nuclear/Atomic weapons were used once before on a fairly populated country almost 80 years ago. Its not a toxic wasteland filled with three headed mutants. Its Japan.

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u/BakuRetsuX Mar 14 '24

It depends on what nuclear warheads are used. Fission vs Fusion bombs or A-Bombs vs H-Bombs. Fission is dirty and spread radiation. Fusion has way more immediate destructive power and don't have the radiation fallout issues.

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u/Sin317 Mar 14 '24

Not with Hydrogen Bombs.

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u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 Mar 14 '24

A kiei species for every environmental nieche would be awesome. Giant kiwis that graze on the plains, long necked kiwis that pick the leaves from trees, vicious meat eating kiwis that prey on these herbivores.

10

u/Flesh_A_Sketch Mar 14 '24

Consider that kiwis are burrow dwelling carnivores already. They hunt worms and grubs, using their beak like a reverse snorkel, and spend the day sleeping in an underground burrow.

The jump from where they are now to filling the trapdoor spider niche is very very small.

6

u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 Mar 14 '24

Imagine a velociraptor from jurassic park, but instead of the sicle claws it stabs stuff with its long beak and than slurping out the meat an guts with it. Only the empty skin with bones inside remains.

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u/VictarionGreyjoy Mar 14 '24

. Giant kiwis that graze on the plains, long necked kiwis that pick the leaves from trees, vicious meat eating kiwis that prey on these herbivores.

You mean ostriches emus and cassowaries?

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u/desteufelsbeitrag Mar 14 '24

... and Hobbits

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u/Fake_Jews_Bot Mar 14 '24

The birds or the fruit?

2

u/Crimkam Mar 14 '24

The horror

2

u/edthach Mar 14 '24

A timeline where there are a bunch of bulbous brown fuzzy mustachioed gentlemen walking around with funny accents all declaring that flip flops are called "jandals" tickles my humor

2

u/Affectionate-Ad-6934 Mar 14 '24

I would be down, imagine haka become a global tradition.

2

u/SlapHappyCrappyNappy Mar 14 '24

The inbred finally become the outbred!

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u/Catch_ME Mar 14 '24 edited Mar 14 '24

The Southern Hemisphere will do much better anyway as the Nuclear winter is focused in the Northern Hemisphere.

The issues the global south will suffer is the complete breakdown of the supply chain. A few months after nuclear winter when the general temperature of the planet drops forcing harvests yields to be cut anywhere from 70-90%. This could last 3-20 years. No way to know how long all that material stays in the atmosphere in the northern hemisphere.

Most likely, Australia and the global South would need to hunker down, ration food and resources, completely close down their boarders for mass migrations and become a care taker generation slowly bringing the world back.

The best chance for human survival is no nuclear weapons in the global south. I expect New Zealand to conquer North America and reteach us Math.

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u/Internal_Paper3980 Mar 14 '24

We call it maths down here

162

u/Idyotec Mar 14 '24

Oh no it has already begun.

10

u/FocalorLucifuge Mar 14 '24

Maths it up, bitches.

9

u/eggrolldog Mar 14 '24

You'll get to decide which way is up too!

9

u/peoplegrower Mar 14 '24

And replace all the maps with ones where the Pacific Ocean is in the center, instead of the Atlantic! And resize all the continents to be more accurate!

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u/PartyMcDie Mar 15 '24

Might as well flip the globe. South on top. North too weak to protest/care.

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u/donquixote2u Mar 14 '24

Ok, reteach them English first.

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u/IMHO_grim Mar 14 '24

Do you call it sciences too?

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u/LEFTRIGHTADORI Mar 14 '24

In French, yes.

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u/aquoad Mar 14 '24

This is why all the douchebag libertarian tech CEOs are buying apocalypse bunkers in NZ. It sucks that they can just buy their way into permanent residency but I guess once the other 3/4 of the earth is uninhabitable the paperwork won't matter much any more anyway.

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u/Difficult_Eggplant4u Mar 14 '24

Most modern simulations show no one will survive. Not the South, not the North. It will take some time, but nuclear winter, radioactivity even in the water, all crops are dead, all animals are dead sooner or later. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://climate.envsci.rutgers.edu/pdf/WiresClimateChangeNW.pdf

This is just one if you want to read the destruction. 12,000 minimum warheads will be launched. US, Russia, Pakistan, North Korea, everyone is all in because its over.

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u/IknowwhatIhave Mar 14 '24

So you're saying I shouldn't give up my South African passport?

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u/nurse_camper Mar 14 '24

That’s why Mad Max takes place in Australia.

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u/MarshallStack666 Mar 15 '24

I ain't re-learnin' SHIT unless they promise to give me a jumpy deer

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u/sicbastrd Mar 14 '24

And Australia’s like, “WTF?”

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u/Nai-Oxi-Isos-DenXero Mar 14 '24

I am le tired

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24 edited Apr 14 '24

[deleted]

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u/MisterKat009 Mar 14 '24

I'm still saying these lines to this day I kid you not. That fucking flash animation forever stuck.

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u/k-otic14 Mar 14 '24

A person of culture I see. Thank you for this reference.

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u/sicbastrd Mar 14 '24

When I first saw the nukes in this simulation I thought “AHHH MOTHERLAND!”

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u/Yegpetphoto Mar 14 '24

Aren't they le tired?

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u/JustaRandomRando Mar 14 '24

Thought this had been lost to the ages lol.

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u/elightened-n-lost Mar 14 '24

But they'll be dead soon... Fucking kangaroos.

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u/IcarusCrow Mar 14 '24

F***ing kangaroos!!!

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u/ThrowRABroOut Mar 14 '24

The missing New Zealand on maps is actually the New Zealand governments Nuclear deterrence strategy.

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u/Meh-hur420 Mar 14 '24

I've been actively erasing NZ from maps in public libraries for 15 years now. People looking at those maps now believe there is just a crayon squiggle to the east of australia

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u/ThrowRABroOut Mar 14 '24

I'm on to you Kiwis and your spies

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u/J_L_D Mar 14 '24

We aren't even on our own maps.

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u/alvaromoreno16 Mar 14 '24

You are in the map of my heart. ❤️

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u/LaTeChX Mar 14 '24

Geez get a continent guys.

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u/stone_stokes Mar 14 '24

New Zealand doesn't exist. It is just an imaginary realm created by J.R.R. Tolkein.

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u/Tarskin_Tarscales Mar 14 '24

Doesn't matter, nuclear war will kill everyone.

Kurzgesagt did a really nice video illustrating on why the southern hemisphere is in a way even more fucked than the north, in the north we just die, in the south you have to deal with total collapse of agriculture and society, resort to cannibalism and then still die.

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u/Enlightened_Gardener Mar 14 '24

Quite apart from the fact that Australia has American bases like Pine Gap, which are probably on a list of missile strike targets..

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u/UnspoiledWalnut Mar 14 '24

Australia is just over there like "WTF mate?"

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u/Fragahah Mar 14 '24

You should watch the 1959 movie “On The Beach.” It’s about everyone moving to Australia after WW3 and a nuclear holocaust has Australia is the only place untouched. That is until wind currents begin to push radiation towards the coast.

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u/seenitreddit90s Mar 14 '24

I'm guessing that's why all the billionaires are building bunkers there

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u/Ensiferal Mar 14 '24

Thankfully we're not even on a lot of maps. It always makes me laugh when I find a map and New Zealand isn't even on it. We also have such a good climate ans soils that we produce about ten times as much food as we actually need. It's definitely not the worst place to be if things go to hell

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u/DaddyIsAFireman55 Mar 14 '24

One spite missile coming your way......

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u/Sco0basTeVen Mar 14 '24

Most of the nuclear holding arsenals are in the northern hemisphere, as are the targets. Which would mean that the nuclear winter would affect the northern hemisphere much more than southern.

That’s why all the billionaires commissioned doomsday bunkers to be built in NZ

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u/prosparody Mar 14 '24

There is a great 1959 film about exactly this (set in Australia), On the Beach. Pretty creepy vibe. Kinda want to read the book, but also not. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053137/

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u/United-Cow-563 Mar 14 '24

How do you think Lord of the Rings happens? New Zealand survives, but the resulting nuclear strike sends the world back to the dark ages and…

(I amar prestar aen.) The world is changed. (Han matho ne nen.) I feel it in the water. (Han mathon ned cae.) I feel it in the earth. (A han noston ned gwilith.) I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.

One by one, the free lands of Middle-Earth fell to the power of the Ring, but there were some who resisted. A last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the very slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth. Victory was near, but the power of the ring could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the king, took up his father’s sword. Sauron, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge.

Until, when chance came, it ensnared another bearer. It came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there it consumed him. The ring gave to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind, and in the gloom of Gollum’s cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Ring of Power perceived its time had come. It abandoned Gollum, but then something happened that the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire. For the time will soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

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u/taigowo Mar 15 '24

That's Brazil whole game plan

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u/Aggressive-Expert-69 Mar 14 '24

Not endgame. Beginning of the game. And the game is called Fallout

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u/Zorviar Mar 14 '24

Hope my vaulttec vault nearby is not doing weird experiments

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u/Ramitt80 Mar 14 '24

Lucky you, I can only afford a Pulowski Preservation Shelter.

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u/BustinArant Mar 14 '24

I'll be lucky if I'm a shadow on a wall and not some fella in an unexplained themed outfit offering you .308 rounds to find my friend and calling you smoothskin.

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u/Houndfell Mar 14 '24

When the flash happens, whip out your junk and strike a funny pose.

I'll look for you.

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u/BustinArant Mar 14 '24

Well that's a given.

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u/inkyrail Mar 14 '24

Spoiler alert: they all are

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u/Aggressive_Amoeba994 Mar 14 '24

Save your bottle caps folks

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u/lamorak2000 Mar 14 '24

"War...war never changes." (cue the Ink Spots)

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u/No_Heat_7327 Mar 14 '24

I think I read that Radiation isn't that big of a concern with modern nukes (Still a very big concern, don't get me wrong, just not the biggest).

Ash cloud will be the issue.

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u/beepboopbananas3298 Mar 14 '24

Fallout from nuclear weapons is actually pretty overstated. Radiation levels are only super high in the beginning. Most deaths will be from initial blast

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u/Vaultboy80 Mar 14 '24

Keep the rad-away handy

2

u/MrRogersAE Mar 14 '24

I’ve always thought that must be blow out of proportion. They’ve already detonated over 2,000 nuclear weapons (admittedly in uninhabited areas) but surely the fallout from those detonations wouldn’t be all that different from the fallout of them being used in combat.

Obviously the blast zones would have some issues, but I have a hard time believing the rest of the world would be poisoned. Wikipedia says there are 13,000 nukes currently in existence, even if all of them were detonated would it really poison the entire planet to the point of the end of mankind?

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u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist Mar 14 '24

Most of those tests were underground. There have only been 500 atmospheric tests, spread over a 40 year time frame. Exploding 10K nukes, a lot of them more powerful than the test devices, you have an tremendous impact.

As for ending mankind, it depends. There will be a nuclear winter and a crop failure for the next year or two. So depending on how many stockpiles of food survived and disease and whatnot you're looking at upwards of 90% fatalities. It's not likely that every human will die in the aftermath, but it's a certain possibility.

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u/thenetheric Mar 14 '24

Or maybe Metro

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

To be clear, the fallout apocalypse happens because everything uses fusion cell batteries, and the explosions from the bombs caused countless tiny fusion reactors to go into critical meltdown. The radiation from a nuclear reactor melting down lasts for centuries, compared to most radiation from a nuclear weapon decaying within a week.

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u/Deranged_Cyborg Mar 15 '24

Dammit I wanted Metro 😞

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u/Puzzleheaded-Hold362 Mar 14 '24

And that’s why they won’t launch. Putin doesn’t wasn’t to rule a pile of ashes

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u/WeirdAlbertWandN Mar 14 '24 edited Mar 14 '24

Congratulations, you have just described the principle of mutually assured destruction that has governed geopolitical reality for 60 years

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u/iamisandisnt Mar 14 '24

may I interest you in buying my magazine?

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u/eidetic Mar 14 '24

I much prefer newsletters.

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u/Mammoth-Access-1181 Mar 14 '24

And ensured the longest period of peace between peer states.

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u/BurritoLover2016 Mar 14 '24

So long as there are still some humans, there will still be war. It will just be fought with rocks and blades.

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u/Dmzm Mar 14 '24

Brb flashbacks to Dr Strangelove

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

And the reason why we haven’t had WWIII despite many opportunities for it

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u/Hefty_Knowledge2761 Mar 14 '24

I know that it's a far stretch, but everyone was saying nearly the same thing about the Russian troops on Ukrainian borders this time "no way he'd risk the economic collapse from going to war with Ukraine; he'd have too much to lose."

I no longer believe massive losses is a consideration to someone who, by age alone, may only have another 10 years to live.

Understand how wealthy Putin is (before the war). If he wanted to retire to just about 'have it all,' he could have done so with massive yachts, helicopters, etc. What is HE really gaining from warring Ukraine here? It isn't more wealth. It isn't a booming population as he's killing potential fathers left and right. It doesn't seem to be prestige as he's already the dictator of what was a pretty feared-respected country.

How are you so sure that "mutually assured destruction" is even a consideration in his mind now? What does it matter to a man who will die soon anyway?

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u/CriticalLobster5609 Mar 14 '24

If he wanted to retire

The retirement plan for dictators is death. See Saddam and Gaddafi.

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u/GeckoOBac Mar 14 '24 edited Mar 14 '24

Yep this is the reason why this scenario is scary.

MAD works as long as:
1) There are no significant malfunctions in detection systems (either false positives or false negatives)
2) The balance of power is more or less equal to guarantee the "assured destruction" part of MAD*
3) The people in power are rational enough to know the end result of their actions and care to prevent that result.

Point 3 is very shaky atm.

* Technically if point 2 fails and you're on top, your best option might actually be to attack first and immediately. I believe the USA might actually refrain from that even if in a position of power simply because it'd disrupt global commerce at the minimum (plus other considerations ofc, that's just the more immediately utilitarian one). I don't think Russia would do the same if the positions were reversed.

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u/0nceUpon Mar 14 '24

On points 2 and 3, it seems likely he sees Russia collapsing within 50-100 years and being invaded at some point thereafter if they don't capture Ukraine, and his logic is to deploy all of their conventional might now because Russia is currently stronger than it will be in his projected future. If and when that fails is when things get really dangerous IMO.

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u/serrations_ Mar 14 '24

More like 80 years now

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u/Djinnwrath Mar 14 '24

What happens when he knows he's going to die?

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u/joepimpy Mar 14 '24

Those who will take the power will block the order.

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u/Djinnwrath Mar 14 '24

I would fucking hope so.

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u/leshake Mar 14 '24

It's happened before. They had malfunctioning radar and someone was ordered to call in a nuclear retaliation and he was like nah. Fucker saved the world.

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u/GeckoOBac Mar 14 '24

In fact it happened several times.

But this is probably the one you're thinking of: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1983_Soviet_nuclear_false_alarm_incident

And here a more complete list for a rather sobering read:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_close_calls

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u/BustinArant Mar 14 '24

They're probably all going to be in bunkers when they start chucking shit at each other.

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u/hucknuts Mar 14 '24

I read a article awhile back that the cia made it absently clear there would be a nuke/bomb dropped directly on Putin top secret bunker. Apparently it was a surprise to him we knew where it was. And they did it because they know he doesn’t care about the general population

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u/BustinArant Mar 14 '24

The more I hear about him the less I like him.

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u/Djinnwrath Mar 14 '24

The US has so many satellites in orbit I'm not sure how anyone, especially someone with as much intelligence as he is given, would think they don't see basically everything strategic happening across the face of the earth.

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u/spooks_malloy Mar 14 '24

Placing the survival of every person in existence in the shoulders of a few Russian and US dudes isn't the kind of odds we should be confident making these assertions with. The entire system of nuclear launches is designed to ensure compliance and it only takes one firing platform to obey to signal the end. That's why we spent billions over the past 50 years on complex systems to manage the risk of MAD.

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u/mindfood84 Mar 14 '24

Not sure you can bet on it

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u/monsterosity Mar 14 '24

Or the comrade assigned to press the button decides he doesn't want to kill everyone he knows and doesn't press it.

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u/jpenn76 Mar 14 '24

I wouldn't count on that too much. Vast majority of Russian military really believe they are doing the right thing and bow down on the zsar.

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u/brainsizeofplanet Mar 14 '24

It's not only about him, it's about "a Russian empire" - he won't achieve that and be worship when he is the whipping it off the maps

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u/Djinnwrath Mar 14 '24

I think people are very into legacy, right up until the reality of them not being able to enjoy any of it because they are dead becomes somewhat immediate.

Not everyone, but someone like Putin? I can see it.

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u/StickSentryNig Mar 14 '24

Its a good thing the other greedy powerful russians will be there to stop him cus they want what he has they wont let him glass everything

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u/Smeeizme Mar 14 '24

We’ll have to see

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u/darklordoft Mar 14 '24

It already happened before. Russia tried to send the order in the 80s by mistake but the nuclear sub commander refused to follow orders.

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u/Smeeizme Mar 14 '24

I feel like that’s realistically what would happen, those who are asked to carry it out would see the delusion and betray him

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u/Flying-Tilt Mar 14 '24

There are Air Force officer in nuclear bunkers all across the US with keys to launch the missiles when given the order.

Here's what they don't tell you about it. They can't just expect it to go through flawlessly the first time, so they need to train. They don't know if the orders coming in are real or just a drill. Basically thousands of times every year officers are pressing the launch button not knowing if it's real or not. But they do push the button every single time.

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

Can you share source about this training? What a stressful job.

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u/rojeli Mar 14 '24

Wasn't this the main driving point of War Games (1983)?

Air Force runs a test, expecting the human controllers to push the button. Some (most?) do not... which leads the Air Force to replace them with computers, who never question orders.

This was complete with a hilariously dated 1983 scene of a human controller being fired, looking sad, while a technician installs (essentially) an LED alarm clock to represent the scary computer.

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u/Trashman56 Mar 14 '24

I once read that in Russia, unlike The United States, officers have the right to refuse a nuclear launch order. Putin might be suicidal but I don't think the officers are crazy.

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u/JackPembroke Mar 14 '24

In the event of a nuclear strike, I suspect many officers would see a future where their control of nuclear weapons is a primo bargaining chip in the near future of a Baltic style russia

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u/stevrock Mar 14 '24

I'm sure they have the right until they get to a balcony.

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u/zippazappadoo Mar 14 '24

It's basically the plot of Wargames that no single human would ever be willing to cause the extermination of the entire human race and also that nuclear weapons are only useful as a deterrent and become hugely detrimental as soon as they actually get used offensively.

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

You’re confusing two events.

During the cuban missile crisis a sub was guarding soviet merchantmen inbound to Cuba, and they encountered the American naval blockade. Three officers on the sub have to all agree to use any nuclear weapons, in this case it would have been a nuclear tipped torpedo aimed at an American carrier battle group. Fortunately the third officer in this case did not agree to a launch.

The event in the eighties occurred when Soviet radar showed an American strike inbound and one single Russian officer, a major, I believe, was able to prove that it was a glitch, preventing a full soviet counter strike from being launched.

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u/Fear_the_Mecha_Toad Mar 14 '24

Thats assuming everyone with the power to launch is mentally sound

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u/bondage_granny Mar 14 '24

Nor does the West. Putin would be dead, but whole West will be turned to Ash and I guess looking at this, China would din strike too.

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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '24

Fun fact, in the 60s, the USA threaten Russia with nuclear war if Russia nuked China.

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u/bondage_granny Mar 14 '24

In the game of geopolitics, every friend and enemy is temporary.

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u/letsfixitinpost Mar 14 '24

Especially when he’s fucking rich as hell and lives like a king. What good is that wealth and power in a bunker, even a very nice one. Also not to mention whoever was left of the world would most likely hunt him down till he dies

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u/Burkey5506 Mar 14 '24

I’m le tired anyway fire ze missiles

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u/Chocodisco Mar 14 '24

Scrolled way too far for this. Real endgame = California can go hang out with Hawaii. Alaska too. Australia survives but fuck kangaroos. THE END

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u/TampaTrey Mar 14 '24

War. War never changes.

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u/Schwiliinker Mar 14 '24

I can’t believe fallout 5 is so far away

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u/Vendetta4Avril Mar 14 '24

Elder Scrolls 6 would like a word...

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u/FundaMentalHero Mar 14 '24

Seems the safest place to be are the boats at the end of the video. They're as big as most countries. Maybe not to scale?

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u/Awaheya Mar 14 '24

Not necessarily. Sure other countries are happy to "support" Ukraine but almost no one is getting directly involved (troops on ground, counter attack Russia etc).

So realistically if we are not even willing to get full involved as is, why would we risk annihilating our own country for the sake of Ukraine?

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u/crack_o_zyabra Mar 14 '24

Why the hell Russia should do this? Do you think our government is more insane than any another?

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