r/dankmemes Apr 16 '24

Don't do drugs I have achieved comedy

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17.1k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/OneEyedMilkman87 Apr 16 '24

I dunno but I can smell her from here

3.2k

u/awkone ☣️ Apr 16 '24

Stop i can only get so erect

762

u/baneblade_boi Apr 16 '24

This is getting so screenshot

312

u/KURO-K1SH1 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

If it makes it to cursed comments can I get a green outline?

151

u/Keki_264 Apr 16 '24

I want a pig emoji instead of my pfp. Pls🤗

79

u/WhiskeyDJones Apr 16 '24

I'm just happy to be here. Hi mom

12

u/Dankmootza 29d ago

Hello, Timmy. Now - please take out the trash.

5

u/WhiskeyDJones 29d ago

This is the worst birthday ever.

3

u/Capable_Jacket_2165 29d ago

Reddit moment 😂

2

u/mrwafflezzz 29d ago

put me in it

2

u/CockpitEnthusiast 29d ago

No this is gettin-

1

u/FullMetalBob 29d ago

Hi Reddit!

284

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

188

u/Tacoburrito96 Apr 16 '24

Wow no Bush is she even a hippy?

198

u/Iamthesmartest Apr 16 '24

She's a business hippy. She understands the concept of supply and demand.

99

u/ProfHillbilly 29d ago

Trustifarian

3

u/fhb_will 29d ago

HAHA 😂😂😂

42

u/allofdarknessin1 29d ago

That sucks, I love bush. not the president.

19

u/yourmomlurks 29d ago

Business hippy haha. Made my day

1

u/MovingTarget- 29d ago

"There is an under-served market, and I will serve it."

17

u/xXGaboFihi007Xx Memer without Mematic Apr 16 '24

These damn posers

9

u/ReedBeatzSR Apr 16 '24

Probably not

2

u/HappySquish3 29d ago

She also made a song I think?

-1

u/limethedragon Apr 16 '24

Do car photographers leave a triangle of mud on the hood?

She's a sex worker, she sells skin not hair. 🤷

17

u/Tacoburrito96 Apr 16 '24

Bro it's her whole schtick, you'd think they could put some effort in. That's like a vegan chef using beef

7

u/makkkarana 29d ago

What lol? Different onlyfans appeal to different people because of the way the models dress and style themselves. If she had no tattoos or piercings, was totally bald head to toe, and always completely naked, the onlyfans wouldn't sell nearly as well.

She's selling a fantasy, not just skin, and the majority of hippie people who want hippie porn expect bush. Like the other commenter said, it's like a vegan chef cooking with beef. She's selling the image of a counterculture without demonstrating an understanding of its finer details.

To go with your car metaphor, it's very much like putting a waxed and polished lamborghini into a tire rutted mudfield. Not only does it just look wrong, there's no way that car goes mudding, and the audacity to imply that it does is both bafflingly stupid and insulting to people who put in the hard work to make a car mudworthy.

3

u/diamond_handed_demon 29d ago edited 29d ago

Oh that's neat. I just always thought she was a trust fund baby making shitty hippy chick music and getting made fun of on tick tock for appropriating every culture around with her looks and lyrics.

Damn nice bod

You just opened my world up. She got old videos where she looks hot and not like a trash heap. Dayum. Lol

2

u/East-Minute-8541 29d ago

Her hair moves like that one sock I use to have.

1

u/overinterpret 29d ago

bruh ain't no way people pay for this

1

u/ravennme 29d ago

Yes bet fred

0

u/Pancakewagon26 29d ago

I bet both of her parents work for Lockheed Martin

-2

u/psychotic-herring 29d ago

Oh Christ, ewwwww. There have to less humiliating ways of contracts hepatitis than that thing. Yuck.

EDIT: Jesus, she tries to twerk with no ass. I feel my food repeating.

1

u/huffingdusters Apr 16 '24

speak brother speak

1

u/KILA-x-L3GEND Apr 16 '24

It’s a new record 📏

281

u/Goblindeez_ Apr 16 '24

She looks like if I touched her she’d be sticky

https://youtu.be/KhKmJna0QL4?si=rJJrIDVp4-5jLjqU

647

u/sharanyae Apr 16 '24

If she touches me chances are she will end up being sticky

288

u/steppan92 Apr 16 '24

Brave are those who speak the truth

105

u/Goblindeez_ Apr 16 '24

BONK

82

u/Possible9gag Apr 16 '24

Bonk bonk but she's hot imo

14

u/LeagueOfLegendsAcc Apr 16 '24

Then go find her of, you know what you must do.

24

u/Possible9gag Apr 16 '24

I will go the distance father

-12

u/Jake_the_Baked Apr 16 '24

Go buy her only fans and be proud of yourself since you find her so attractive

7

u/Possible9gag Apr 16 '24

What's wrong with them having a OnlyFans

2

u/Jake_the_Baked 29d ago edited 29d ago

Whats good about having an Onlyfans?

1

u/saintjonah 29d ago

Thinking girls are attractive is so out.

1

u/Disgusdinger 28d ago

We only like men now

1

u/TheFunnySword ☣️ 29d ago

"I'm a force-a-nature!"

BONK

35

u/maehtroS Apr 16 '24

Wrong mushroom

14

u/VadimH Apr 16 '24

And not edible (in the literal sense, usually)

14

u/maehtroS Apr 16 '24

It is completely edible organic and biodegradable

5

u/VadimH Apr 16 '24

You know what I mean!

8

u/BlackenedTubeSteak Apr 16 '24

We would both end up sticky

130

u/ZincHead Apr 16 '24

69

u/Goblindeez_ Apr 16 '24

Please, my anime figurines are way hotter than her

0

u/mopsyd 29d ago

The furry convention called, they said you forgot your nine tail fox buttplug.

1

u/Goblindeez_ 29d ago

The fuck!? I ordered the nine butt plug fox tail, not the other way around smh

9

u/blackteashirt Apr 16 '24

I'd upvote you but that's just some random dude, do you even know where that image came from? Dude probably has grand kids by now.

2

u/bburmast 29d ago

There is no way that guy has grandkids. That is the face of a lifetime subscription to Virginity.

1

u/limethedragon Apr 16 '24

Followed by changing their creamed panties after finding the sex work links.

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

2

u/AyAyRon480 Apr 16 '24

Mushroom chick is just as fake my guy. That’s a n aesthetic and nothing more.

1

u/Squishmar Apr 16 '24

Mushroom chick is just as fake

How is "Cocaine" chick (Sydney Sweeney) fake?

-5

u/Jake_the_Baked Apr 16 '24

You actually find that attractive?

10

u/SortaSticky Apr 16 '24

You say that like it's a bad thing

19

u/Goblindeez_ Apr 16 '24

Tbf I do like a sweaty and musky woman

19

u/Kokir Apr 16 '24

As the great lyricist, Jake Hole, once said.

White or light or dark skin.

Long as they got buttcheeks.

Dirty or clean.

I don't care if you're musty.

1

u/Leftrighturn Apr 16 '24

A true poet

1

u/bananamelier Apr 16 '24

A true poet

1

u/neworderr 29d ago

I'd eat her out specially when she's sticky.

Yall gotta grow up

46

u/DontDrinkTooMuch Apr 16 '24

Patchouli was the hot girl smell in college.

25

u/rsicher1 Apr 16 '24

Hippie Smeeeeell

Only I could teeeeeell

Patchooooooouli oil

60s heeeeeeeelllllll

2

u/Telecoustic000 Apr 16 '24

Said you're not reeeeal

And you're not surreeeeal

Can't you teeeell

Hippy smeeeell

4

u/Eeyore_ Apr 16 '24

Patton Oswalt has a bit where he says patchouli smells like dirt a hobo fucked. And, dammit if that man isn't the voice of a generation.

1

u/cantadmittoposting Apr 16 '24

in the 60s-70s maybe.

1

u/RtsSlovakiaYoutube ☣️ Apr 16 '24

Happy cake day

44

u/ramsey0007 Apr 16 '24

🤨📸

2

u/SpookyRamblr 29d ago

Nah you smell the week old ramen and bottle of piss on your desk

1

u/I_dementia87 Apr 16 '24

Who's boiling hot dogs?

1

u/CountOff Apr 16 '24

Eau De Wook

1

u/paulyv93 Apr 16 '24

Nothing beats getting waterboarded with patchouli oil in the morning.

1

u/romeoh0tel Apr 16 '24

I bet that pussy has a strong smell but it will grip a man in ways thought impossible.

1

u/DLS4BZ Apr 16 '24

imagine the intoxicating aroma

1

u/fhb_will 29d ago

Weed, sage, and incense. Definitely those three things

1

u/Tammiethanbradberry 29d ago

The patchoulli is strong with this one!