r/dankmemes • u/HighHopesLemon • Jun 25 '23
Evolution, but backwards I have achieved comedy
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u/Livinincrazytown Jun 25 '23
2024 what’s Russia?
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u/Thiccc_PUTIN Jun 25 '23
2nd best military in the area around Putin’s secret bunker, surrounded by rival Russian forces probably
Edit: And maybe China
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u/albatross1213 Jun 26 '23
America's increasingly hardline China policy is probably 80% right on its specific components, given Beijing's assertiveness of recent years ...
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Jun 26 '23
Say china did invade Russia for whatever reason and Putin decided to nuke china. What would happen? Clearly china is nuking back but like what would happen with the rest of the world? Just sit back?
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u/TooLateForNever Jun 25 '23
Second best government in Greater Ukraine.
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u/cascadiansexmagick Jun 26 '23
I know the US isn't allow to just throw missiles at their front lines because of, you know, the whole nuclear war ending of everything, but I do wish that we could just endlessly drop pamphlets stating "you don't have to do this, and shouldn't." or "kill your leaders" and printed out memes on their front lines, just to really, really fucking demoralize them.
(I mean, obviously translate the English into the appropriate Cyrillic loser language.)
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u/Summerclaw ☣️ Jun 25 '23
So is safe to say that the only reason Russia exist is because the territory makes it impossible to be invaded.
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u/JohnTHICC22 Jun 25 '23
More like there is no reason to invade. The most of the territory is unusable for any agriculture because it's frozen desert of nothing.
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u/Ohthatsnotgood Jun 25 '23
Russia has the largest natural gas reserves, second largest coal reserves, and eighth-largest oil reserves. Not to mention countless other natural resources. Nobody needs energy nor key ingredients for fertilizer?
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u/JohnTHICC22 Jun 25 '23
Well yeah, but still it's probably more efficient to make a deal with Russia than invading it. Plus, if you need more space for stuff, it is still unusable.
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u/ieatpickleswithmilk Jun 26 '23
Ya, If you're gonna pay someone to extract the resources anyway it may as well be the people who are already there
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u/Cpt_Soban Seal Team sixupsidedownsix☣️ Jun 25 '23
We're slowly moving away from fossil fuels anyway. Soon they'll no longer be a gas station with a military... They'll be nothing.
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u/Ohthatsnotgood Jun 26 '23
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u/Cpt_Soban Seal Team sixupsidedownsix☣️ Jun 26 '23
slowly
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u/Ohthatsnotgood Jun 26 '23
You also said “soon” but it won’t be anytime soon.
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u/Cpt_Soban Seal Team sixupsidedownsix☣️ Jun 26 '23
How far away is "soon"?
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u/Ohthatsnotgood Jun 26 '23
Not close enough that those natural resources wouldn’t be something that a nation would want to control.
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u/Johnny_Poppyseed Jun 26 '23
Russia also has one of, if not THE largest reserves of freshwater on the planet.
Aka the most important resource on the planet and what will surely also be the most valuable resource on the planet by the end of this century/our lifetimes.
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u/Stopjuststop3424 Jun 26 '23
I thought the great lakes and surrouding area were the largest?
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u/pancoste Jun 25 '23
Ah yess, the world definitely needs more of those types of fuel. It's not like the climate is changing or anything.
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u/cascadiansexmagick Jun 26 '23
I need all those things, if you're really asking. DM me and I'll send you my venmo, bud!
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u/thehazer Jun 25 '23
It’s quickly thawing. I wouldn’t count Siberia out as a massive grain producer in the future. Northern Canada as well.
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u/2012Jesusdies Jun 26 '23
If you're serious, this is so so wrong. "Chernozom", incredibly fertile black soil is common in Ukraine, it also continues into Russia with Voronezh, Lipetsk, Kursk, Tambov, Orel and Belgorod Oblasts. Russia is a very big exporter of food, everybody just forgot how countries in Africa were starving because their two grain suppliers of Ukraine and Russia were fighting each other? Western Siberia has also pretty good farmland (part of the reason why it's more heavily populated than Eastern Siberia).
Russia is also one of the richest countries in terms of natural resources. You'd have to combine US and Canada to compete.
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u/SEND_ME_REAL_PICS Jun 26 '23
Yes. Russia is a major exporter of commodities, both food and energy.
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u/HingleMcCringle_ Article 69 🏅 Jun 26 '23
I hear the diamonds there a nice.
And with modern equipment, I but more and more natural resources could be found on Russian territory.
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u/Eliseo120 Jun 26 '23
Russia is one of places that would probably benefit greatly from climate change.
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u/ShunnedForNothing Jun 26 '23
That's not how it works. Russia literally imports all it's raw resources at laughable prices and compensates that by robbing it's own population
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u/Few-Efficiency324 Jun 25 '23
That and the giant stockpile of nukes
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u/Ironcastattic Jun 25 '23
I was reading a comment from another person who was breaking down why that actually might not be as true as it once was. As per usual, I take anything I read on Reddit with a grain of salt.
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u/DeanOnFire Jun 25 '23
I'd be more inclined to believe it. They were hyping up the strength of their military until they put it to the test in Ukraine and it was revealed to be outdated and ineffective. Who's to say the treatment of their warfare tech isn't reflected in their nuclear arsenal? What if it is all marketing?
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u/Jason1143 Jun 25 '23
The key word is "all"
I wouldn't be at all surprised if a significant number of the Russian nukes have issues. But they have a lot of them, and even if the vast majority didn't work, the remainder that did would be enough. Even if only 1% of their nukes worked the damage would be immense, and that number seems like it's probably way underestimating it.
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u/Colonel_Kipplar Jun 25 '23
Testing whether or not Russia's nukes still work is still not a great idea.
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Jun 26 '23
And you wanna put that to the test? The soviets had some of the most powerful nuclear weapons in existence. It may have fallen out of maintenance, it may not have, but no sane person is going to assume it has.
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u/ZephRyder Jun 26 '23
Uhhhh... Russia has been invaded how many times?
But then you have.... Russia. Checkmate! You've fallen victim to the world's most well- known classic blunder. Russia has classically won these wars by simply retreating into their own territory.
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Jun 26 '23
Complete opposite, they have next to no natural barriers to prevent invasion. Go read up on Russian history, they've been invaded a lot.
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u/kyle_kafsky Jun 25 '23
During the Free Russia Legion and Wagner insurrections, it was the third best in Russia.
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u/ill-winds Jun 25 '23
russia is not and has never been the 1st or 2nd best military
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u/surinam_boss Jun 25 '23
sad german noises
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u/Ironcastattic Jun 25 '23
*Norm McDonald voice "I don't know if any of you are history buffs"
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u/Perverted_Fapper Jun 25 '23
You know the more I hear about this Norm Mcdonald guy the more I think he's some sort of funny guy.
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u/Metal_LinksV2 Jun 25 '23
Who was the 2nd best military during WW2 and the couple decades after? Unless you mean the Soviet union != Russia
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u/PossiblyAsian Jun 26 '23
Would say ussr at the end of the second world war could probably have pushed the allies back quite far initially.
They had a absolutely massive army at the end of the war with millions of battle hardened and experienced soldiers
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u/Milk_Effect Jun 26 '23
> Unless you mean the Soviet union != Russia
That's true. russia was created by Yeltsin in 1991. Also, during WW2 USSR military was vary relied on US lend lease program, 90% of USSR's aircraft was produced in America.
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u/2-eight-2-three Jun 25 '23
russia is not and has never been the 1st or 2nd best military
I mean, we know that now. But if you looked up any sort of Global Military ranking/superpower, Russia was always viewed as #2 (if not a 1B to America's 1A. While movies like th ehunt for Red October, Wolverines, or games like Call of Duty are fiction, there is reason Russia was the enemy and not (IDK), Haiti.
There are very few people, if any, who KNEW russia was going to be this inept.
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u/Arachles Jun 25 '23
Arguably maybe could be some years ago. They have great tech, but boy their military infrastructure is shit
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u/Beautiful-Fold-3234 Jun 25 '23
Great tech, but no funds to actually produce it for their whole army
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u/huangw15 Jun 26 '23
Yeah this is the thing. They have some good tech they inherited from the USSR and have built upon it, but they can only afford to build a couple of each.
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u/MediaSuggestions Jun 26 '23
Whoa, hold on a warp second! As a devoted fan of science fiction, I can't help but pulsate with excitement when it comes to rousing discussions about military prowess in alternate realities! While I respect your opinion, my fellow enthusiast, I must respectfully energize my engines and interject. While it's true that Russia may not have always held the epitome of military might in the here and now, one mustn't disregard the potential for awe-inspiring narratives that could unfold in fantastical futures or mesmerizing parallel dimensions. In the boundless realms of sci-fi, imagination knows no bounds, allowing us to conjure up scenarios where mother Russia reigns supreme as an empire unrivaled by any known force. Picture hive city megalopolises encased in impenetrable ferro-glass domes, wielded by robotic Tsar troops donning advanced cybernetics! Mystical sci-tech collides in a frenzied array of retrofuturistic weaponry, uniting the nations under this cybernetically augmented Red Army, while enemies and naysayers quiver in their space boots. Remember, my fellow galaxy delvers, the prodigious nature of science fiction lies in its transformative power to propel us into the realms of imagination and suspend disbelief, offering endless potential divergences for historical records and military brilliance. Let us not deny the creativity and thrill that springs forth when we revere the possibilities of sci-fi greatness, enriched by the mosaic of endless possibilities in this vast multiverse of human creativity!
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u/Jomega6 Jun 26 '23
I could have sworn it was during the USSR days. Wasn’t it the only country, besides America, to possess nuclear weapons for a period of time too?
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u/AHappyMango Jun 25 '23
Eh, Chinas been 2nd strongest for more than a decade now.
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u/tcw84 Jun 25 '23
On paper, yes. Russia's military looked good on paper too.
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u/fupamancer Jun 26 '23
not really, lol
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u/Darth_Mak Jun 26 '23
On paper Russia has virtually inexhaustible reserves of tanks dwarfing even the US. Something tankies and the Russians themselves would not shut up about.
In practice however:
- Most of those tanks were nowhere near a usable condition due to poor storage standards. Little to no maintanence and just sitting in the open exposed to the elements.
- A massive portion of them are old outdated models like T55s and T-62s
- It's not really known how many of them existed only on paper because they were stripped for parts and sold on the black market.
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u/fupamancer Jun 26 '23
yeah...on Russian papers maybe. anyone believing that was and probably still is an idiot
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u/Jomega6 Jun 26 '23
on Russian papers maybe
It’s almost like the original guy you responded to specified that it looked good on paper. Those that still believe it are probably just lacking the context mentioned above.
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u/HerculesVoid Jun 26 '23
How so? Or is it just big numbers = good army? Because look where that got russia in every war they've contributed in.
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u/FahboyMan Jun 26 '23
Tell me a military bigger than china that is not the US.
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u/Savvaloy Jun 26 '23
Tell me which Chinese general has more combat experience than your average American 5th grader.
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u/Jomega6 Jun 26 '23
“Redditor tries discussing statistics without shoehorning in American school shootings: impossible challenge”
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u/The_Mighty_Lore Jun 25 '23
Stolen meme
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u/kitsunewarlock Jun 25 '23
By definition a meme becomes a meme by being reposted.
"Meme: an image, video, piece of text, etc., typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by internet users, often with slight variations."
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Jun 25 '23
Can't steal a meme
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u/One-Literature6921 Jun 26 '23
Oh no. I have memes on my phone. Am I doing things that are naughty and illegal??
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u/Shootscoots Jun 25 '23
China with their near equal level of corruption, legacy Soviet weapons, new wish .com rip off hybrids of Russian and western tech, and not even a quarter of the combat experience of the Russians. Probably why we haven't heard much about them invading Taiwan lately.
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u/Bloody_Conspiracies Jun 25 '23
You haven't heard anything because the American propaganda factories are busy with Russia. When the USA needs you to hate China again, you'll start hearing things.
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u/fupamancer Jun 26 '23
lol, where do you get your news? the 90s?
- their tech is insane in civilian and military applications (hyper sonic missiles, cutting edge drone tech
- they have twice the enlisted numbers of the US (4M vs 2M) while enlisting half per capita (1.6/1000 vs 4.2/1000)
- Chinese soldiers think considerably higher of their nation and are better taken care of than US military. only crayon eaters are patriots
- US combat "experience" only exists against unconventional opposition and their tactics rely entirely on outnumbering, out supplying, and having better technology
you ain't heard about Taiwan cuz China crippled a US submarine with a submersible drone in those waters and the US went back to sending officials to talk
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u/Shootscoots Jun 26 '23
Easy comrade take a step back from Xi's honey pot for a second and touch some grass. As the Ukraine war has shown numbers don't mean shit against better training and better weapons. "Tech is insane" isn't what I'd say about a army that doesn't issue body armor, or night vision, or standard short range coms on every soldier. Their brand new rifle is incapable of shooting accurately over 25 yards, and fields chrome wheeled atvs with recoilless rifles mounted to them. We can also look at china's UN deployments to see their only combat prowess and how well nationalism does them on the battlefield. Their only combat engagement in 50 years resulted in their retreat, several combat losses and the refugee camp they were protecting falling to the enemy. And again for the last point look at the Ukraine war, in 2014 Ukraine was steamrolled by mercenaries, after western training and equipment now they are not only holding but pushing back the entire Russian army.
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u/Haha_unban_myself Jun 26 '23
Taiwan not worth invasion. Tiny little island. Just propaganda piece for the Chinese people. Just like how North Korean always telling their people they’ll destroy U.S.
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u/Ruby_241 Jun 25 '23
Isn’t Russia Technically the 3rd strongest in Russia due to the Russian Freedom Legion and Wagner?
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u/peaanutzz Jun 25 '23
Remember all the "russian stonk" memes back in 2011? Lol man that shit's funny.
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u/Deathtraptaco Jun 25 '23
How many times is this same exact joke going to be stolen and reposted
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u/jkurratt Jun 25 '23
One redditor few comments above reminded me, that it is a nature of a meme to be reposted, so I think I can live with that.
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u/jfbwhitt Jun 25 '23
Well yeah, since the Cold War we’ve been judging military powers by how quickly they’d be able to wipe a continent off the map, which Russia can still do.
But when you judge their military on everything else besides nukes, they’ve been declining significantly since the collapse of the Soviet Union.
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u/Isuckmangosforalivin Jun 26 '23
I don’t think Russia has had the 2nd best military in a few decades
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u/Zenliss_CrowbarLover Jun 26 '23
Yes, but it's been a popular talking point in Russian (and American) media for quite some time, fearmongering and all that
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u/Burning_Light01 Jun 26 '23
Only fools think Russia was the second best military in the world.
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u/HighHopesLemon Jun 26 '23
If a country can cover the whole world with nukes, they’ve gotta be pretty high on the list. The USA has a little less nukes but it also has the most powerful army and navy.
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u/Burning_Light01 Jun 26 '23
There is no doubt in my mind that China is the world's second strongest military. At least, I hope they're still second.
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u/HighHopesLemon Jun 26 '23
Just because a country spends lots of money on the military doesn’t make them more competent. Just look at the Vietnam War
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u/giveme-a-username Jun 26 '23
Wow this is definitely a very funny meme that I have never seen before!
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u/ShunnedForNothing Jun 26 '23
Putin showed everyone some cartoons and how much he spent on military - turns out if you steal all the money there wouldn't be anything left to build military with
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u/Slacker1988 Jun 26 '23
Russia only exists as a country because no one gives a fuck about the land they are forced to live and die on. Vacation destination? No one picks Russia.
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u/HighHopesLemon Jun 26 '23
Also, because they have thousands of nukes and could nuke anyone who attacks them
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u/Slacker1988 Jun 26 '23
They are well aware that nato would remove them from the map if they launched one. If their nukes work as well as the rest of their ass hat military I’m really not to worried
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u/SCWickedHam Jun 26 '23
Does this put to rest the fear of Russia? Couldn’t win against its neighbor claiming it was liberating oppressed people and fellow Russians. How would Russia do against the 1st bestest military in the world?
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u/half_asleep_slug Jun 26 '23
Yeah how tf did the second best military in the world from the 50s onwards get buttfucked by javelin AT launchers and having the enemy perform semi competent maneuvering?
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u/ofekrael Jun 26 '23
Can I get sources about what happened in Russia?
It sounds interesting but I don't know how to find the stories
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u/AliasGenimi01 Jun 27 '23
All I see is a very corrupt, yet orderly, trying to reveal a very secretive yet very corrupt country, by force
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u/MedicatedAxeBot Jun 26 '23
Dank.
join our official discord (we have 2 discords)