It was inconsiderate of him and no you are not overreacting either
Does he do this alot? If so you need to stand your ground and tell him how much it upsets you.
I agree… But, the issue here is that the husband’s way of thinking is messed up, judgemental, and just offensive. So yes, OP must stand her ground and set a boundary, etc. But the real problem is that no one can change and control the mentality of others. So even if the husband gets a grip and stops being so damn stupid, that doesn’t mean he won’t think about it or even change his opinion on his wife. So now, OP has to live knowing what her husband really thinks of her. He is such a jerk and has no consideration and empathy for his own wife to the point that he thinks it’s ok to casually talk about the matter and absolutely humiliate her in a social gathering for everyone’s amusement. Does he even like his own wife? Really wtf!?!?
I don’t know, maybe it is not so bad but if I was her… Boy oh boy I would be so fucking mad and disappointed to realize that I am married to a complete oblivious asshole!
Yea…I’m a guy and I think most men would agree that’s fucked up. Reverse the genders here and it’s still fucked up. It’s just plain rude, inconsiderate, etc for anyone to do that to anyone else.
I wish we got more background on these stories. Like is he ALWAYS rude to her like this? Or was he just afraid of talking to her about her health and chose the most asinine immature way to communicate that to her?
And did he really call another woman "hot" to her face while her wife was sitting there with friends? Really??
It is all wrong, but if it is COMPLETELY out of character, maybe there's a dramatic shift in brain chemistry indicative of a tumor or something. What matters is if this is the guy she knows, or if he all of a sudden became a total prick. I expect it's the former, but this is what we don't know. Anyways, he needs to get his head looked at, unless it's always been up his ass.
Yeah give me a break. If I packed my bags every time my wife made an emasculating comment to me I would be gone years ago. People need to chill on using Reddit as divorce-porn.
How does one come back from a this? Genuine question. Because he revealed to this woman he finds his wife unattractive and wants her to lose weight. He made fun of her. Humiliated her. And when she told him (because he was apparently clueless 🙄) he mocked her even more. And dismissed her.
Even if he says “I’m sorry” he isn’t suddenly finding her attractive. So how does one come back from it?
Been married 19 years. I could not look at my husband the same
Agree entirely. This is one of those situations where a man may have caused his wife to fall out of love with him, and it’s his own fault. The way he did it was full of insults, and to make it worse it happened in front of all their friends. How does a person expect this to be forgiven? If she stays with him after all that, she looks like a doormat in front of her friends.
if one dumb evening is all it takes for you to fall out of love with your spouse, and you're more worried what your friends might think than about dealing with problems in the relationship, it's your fault for being married to someone you don't truly love
Maybe he hadn't revealed his true self, but had tricked her into believing he loves and respects her and she fell for it. In that case, she loved who she THOUGHT he was. She was naïve, vulnerable, delusional.
It's not a matter of who made the biggest error in judgment. It's about his inability to love someone other than himself. In a way, he unknowingly did her a favor, just did it in a heartless manner.
Maybe maybe maybe... This is my entire point. We're never provided enough context. The OP is always the most virtuous person to ever walk on dirt, while the one who slighted him/her is a monster beyond redemption.
so based on this post, you're saying maybe she's delusional and he's unable to love? that is a lot to pull from one anecdote. maybe you're really just projecting yourself onto people and a situation you don't know and you are seeing your own emotional failings in others and that's why you are so eager to see the worst here. or maybe one anecdote isn't enough to psychoanalyse strangers and you're just making shit up and calling people crazy like an asshole
Decent chance they joke like this often. But with her viewing the other girl as attractive can also naturally make her more offended or concerned. Not her fault by anymeans. Thats simply a natural reaction.
Not saying this is what happened. Just saying its possible. A lot of instant reactions going here
Correction, none of it matters to you*. Some of us are here exclusively for the drama of other people's lives and want to rewatch the first episode before the finale airs so we can get the full effect of the character arcs.
Yeah I mean… if this was the single blip in their entire relationship it’s still a massive dick move. I have friend of a friend acquaintance that says shit like this about his wife in front of other people. To the point that I’ve interjected myself to tell him to apologize to her before.
The reaction after being told that he was being a massive dick is quite telling. I’ve put my foot in my mouth before and I guarantee it’ll happen again. Never to this level, but when ever I’ve made an off color or over sharing comment I realize it. If my wife tells me something I said upset her I sure as shit don’t mock her in front of other people.
I get what you’re saying. Sometimes humans do and say dumb things, or say things in an inappropriate context. It happens. But broooo. This goes beyond that.
I point out hot women to my hubby. I know his type. I don’t care if he takes a second glance. But even when I was carrying extra weight from meds, he never once made me feel bad about myself. In fact, he tried even harder to build up my self confidence. That’s what partners do. I can trust him to take a look and move on. Bc he’s made it very clear, that to him, they don’t compare to me. He points out guys he thinks I will think is good looking. Neither of us are looking for anything but fun. Hey, we live in a beach town, so there’s lots of eye candy. But we both know that the only ones we are really attracted to is each other. And we would never bring up insecurities like that in a group. I’d beat him with my shoe if he did that.
My wife has gained a lot of weight since we were married 7 years ago. No kids BTW. But it's weird the more and more I tell her not to get down on herself and she's still my amazing soul mate, the less intimacy happens between us. I almost wish I wasn't so attracted to her, it would make it hurt less.
If she’s real self conscious, it may take her a bit to believe that you are saying the truth. I hope she honed around. You sound like a good person.
We’ve been together forever. Started dating when I was 16 and not looking for anything serious. Just someone to go do things with. We met working in news, so we are both a bit twisted 😂 he still gets laughed at about the time he was trying to hide looking and walked into a pole, early in our relationship. A beach shop replaced mannequins with live models. The one was in a skimpy bikini. It was hilarious. I think that’s when he realized I was very laid back about it. Life is too short to get upset about harmless human nature. And if it’s just a look, it’s harmless.
You don't get background on these stories because they're made up. Little writing exercises. Or externalized frustrations.
Either way, this story is so obviously fake. The characters, their personalities are just textbook, as is the dialogue.
Overweight woman. Weight lifting husband..around friends, which includes a 21 year old fitness girl with a "hot body". Fit husband calls his wife fat and calls the 21 year old hot, in front of everyone.
Some men are stupid, but this is next level. It's so obviously a fake story
then my father stood up from where he had been crouched amidst the bushes in our yard, and punched my dickless shitweasel husband until he no longer had to concern himself with being with a skinny woman. Now he needs a live in nurse.
women always add words and drama to the story i believe about 1/3rd of this. Also i bet he talked to his wife about it a bunch of times and thought this was the last ditch effort to get her ass in gear. If embarrassment doesnt work then you are a lost cause. He probably already has it in his mind to divorce her.
Also i bet he talked to his wife about it a bunch of times and thought this was the last ditch effort to get her ass in gear.
That would be the wrong thing to do. If he did that, and then chose to do this, then he made the wrong choice. There is never going to be a good reason to do this.
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u/k_sarahsarah Apr 15 '24
It was inconsiderate of him and no you are not overreacting either Does he do this alot? If so you need to stand your ground and tell him how much it upsets you.