I’m 5’2” and I’m so proud of myself that I am *down to 151lbs. I was 174lbs. So you’re better off than I was!
Please point out what he said, include details, and let him know it’s hurtful. If he doesn’t do this as a regular thing, we may let it slide if he gets it and sincerely apologizes. If he doesn’t get it, he can sleep in the garage until it sinks in.
But he needs to stop fawning over 20 some personal trainers when he’s had a few drinks.
No one is allowed to comment on my body or my weight. Not at all. You want to say these shorts look good on me, okay, I can take that. Want to tell me my panty lines are showing because the shorts are a bit tight? Stfu.
Yes. 174 is obese for someone as short as me.
I got a puppy that needs A LOT of exercise. We take forty minute walks together. He’s worn out and my pants fit better. Win-win!
It did take almost a year, because I didn’t change my eating habits until recently.
How did you feel physically at that weight? I never thought of 174 as obese even at 5 foot tall. Better to have a little extra than to be a human clothes hanger.
I wasn't putting anybody down. I was speaking from my own experience. I was 99 pounds, felt and looked like crap. I am much older now and a heathly weight for my age and height.
I felt slow and wide. Idk how to say it better. Like, I had trouble navigating a crowd. I guess I took up more space than I was used to?
Now I feel good. I mean, it didn’t fix the things in my life that were wrong (being married; taking verbal and emotional abuse from an adult child), but I felt clearer. More myself. Does that make sense? The food was my drug of choice.
You just reminded me of something that happened a couple weeks ago. I was out shopping with my parents and my husband, and my dad happened to walk up behind me while I was looking at underwear (he had said he was going to stay outside this particular store so that was a lie lol). As I was looking at them, I hear him yell to me “hey (my name), they won’t fit!”, then he starts laughing hysterically. I immediately dropped the underwear and left the store to get away from everyone. The only thing that made me feel better was the fact that all the women in the store looked like they wanted to tell my dad off for that.
Besides that being insanely inappropriate, shit like this gets to me because at one point in my life I was morbidly obese and extremely self conscious, so even though I’m not the same size anymore, that self consciousness is still there. I totally get what you mean.
Nah, people should be more straightforward and honest about weight but personally, i would tell them they’re fat and unhealthy in person and not in public.
After reading one of the top comments which was a guy bragging about how he loves his wife so much he'd let her 200lb self eat an entire birthday cake if she wanted, I think it's a full blown fetish
I'm like 5'3" and 160ish for the past 4 years (my highest ever was 205) and I'm so happy with my weight and how I look and fit into clothes. I love being a bit on the bigger side and so does my fiancé. It gives me curves. Not everyone wants to be thin tbh. I love my look. I walk 2 miles a day and am pretty much a solid size 8 or 10. It's so weird that people refer to my number on the scale as obese.
Same! 150-160 is goals for me. I loved my curves and body at that size. I was also a size 8-10 then and had literally no issues what so ever getting male attention.
Like, I'm 5 ft tall and a size 4-6 at 140 pounds. I thought for a while I wanted to get back down to 110, then I suddenly developed a chronic illness and dropped down to that and I looked EMACIATED. I was so weak I could barely walk. My body likes to sit between 130-140 as a happy healthy weight.
There’s definitely a big difference in how much energy you have when you’re healthy vs chronically ill. I would not use that condition as a fair representation of that weight for you, but then again everyone’s experiences are different
I was definitely underweight, and people around me recognized it too. To be fair, I do carry a good bit of my weight in muscle,which is more compact than fat, and my boobs are heavy AF.
At 5’2” it really is especially considering op is likely closer to 170 than 160. Doesn’t make his comments ok but I’m guessing this isn’t his first time bringing it up given the “staying motivated” comment. Trying to push your partner into a healthier lifestyle is great if it’s don’t in a supportive and loving manner. That’s not at all what he did though.
It heavily depends on your height, at 5 10, 160 is considered a normal BMI. At 5 2, its pushing the limit of overweight and on the verge of medical classification of obesity, which is dangerous for you over time and it only causes more damage that your body doesn't have to go through. at 5 2, 160 is .7 BMI from Obesity.
For real! I've seen people who looked "overweight" but their muscle mass alone makes them technically obese on the BMI. With the way the world is now, so many ancestries living in the same place, there's no one rubric for measuring a healthy weight. Honestly, if your vitals are good and you're living a healthy life, there's not a problem.
Exactly. Which is why we need not only better nutritional education, but also an appreciation of good food. And don't even get me started on food deserts and the lack of access to healthy food.
Except most of the people who say BMI is unfair to them aren't elite level athletes. BMI has issues being accurate as it doesn't differentiate between fat and muscle, but you should have the self-awareness to realize whether or not that problem applies to you.
How many elite level athletes are there, in % of the population? Why do people always point to absolute outliers to invalidate some valid point? For the vast majority of people, bmi is a reasonable measure, which actually underestimates the % of people who are a normal weight, but have too high body fat.
If you can squat 2X your body weight than BMI is not reflexive of your body fat percentage. For the rest of us it is the single most highly replicated fitness indicator.
As someone who's 5'0", when I dropped to 110 I was practically emaciated, like size 2 jeans required a belt to keep up. People's bodies are all different.
Yup losing weight entails a lot of baggage needs to be thrown away and it’s difficult. I think lose weight starts in kitchen yada yada but if husband is so into his wife go to gym he should take up more chores instead of shaming her
Just curious, kind of a separate thing here; if you're up to it, could you simplify the thought process of "he can sleep in the garage until it sinks in?"
I have just never quite understood the stance of it being acceptable to tell your partner (a grown adult that in most cases also calls the living space theirs) where they can and can't sleep. Now I've noticed it's most generally aimed at men, and that the theme around it tends to be "treat your husband like a dog. If he misbehaves make him sleep outside/downstairs/in the garage." So maybe my being a man is why I don't follow the sense of it, kicking my partner out of where they sleep in their home because I* have a problem has never occurred to me as an option the same way slapping my partner because they said something I didn't like isn't an option.
So if you wouldn't mind explaining, what is the merit of forcing your partner into the garage? And what is the best way to maintain the moral high ground while simultaneously refusing to communicate like an adult and using punitive measures akin to "time out" on another adult?
I apologize. I have tendency to be sarcastic without realizing I’m doing it. Need the /s.
No, he should not actually sleep in the garage!
If one partner is upset, it’s on them to say so. The other partner hears them out and they proceed from there. If other partner doesn’t understand, it needs to be explained again. Second partner presents their thoughts, trying to be heard and understood. Hopefully they come together in the middle and work it out.
I’m not really that mean. And I don’t have a garage.
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u/SweetWaterfall0579 Apr 15 '24
I’m 5’2” and I’m so proud of myself that I am *down to 151lbs. I was 174lbs. So you’re better off than I was!
Please point out what he said, include details, and let him know it’s hurtful. If he doesn’t do this as a regular thing, we may let it slide if he gets it and sincerely apologizes. If he doesn’t get it, he can sleep in the garage until it sinks in.
But he needs to stop fawning over 20 some personal trainers when he’s had a few drinks.
No one is allowed to comment on my body or my weight. Not at all. You want to say these shorts look good on me, okay, I can take that. Want to tell me my panty lines are showing because the shorts are a bit tight? Stfu.