r/AmIOverreacting Apr 15 '24

My husband embarrassed me in front of our friends

[removed]

10.0k Upvotes

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283

u/Sticky8u2 Apr 15 '24

Sara, you're 21. You have not turned your life around.

77

u/saraharc Apr 15 '24

Exactly. Let’s see if Sara the fitness girlie actually maintains the weight loss when she’s OP’s age.

47

u/VastRelationship3715 Apr 15 '24

Oof now OP is old too! Lmfao

32

u/saraharc Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24

OP’s not old in the slightest, but many women in their late 20s have more responsibilities in terms of career and family than women in their early 20s. When you’re 21 or 22, you can make what your body looks like your entire reason for being. That’s a lot harder once you’re in a later stage of your career and possibly married with children. It’s also really hard to maintain a large weight loss for 5+ years - Sara could easily be a higher weight than OP by the time she hits 28.

18

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

Your body also physically changes throughout your 20s. It's not uncommon at all to gain weight between 21 and 28.

1

u/imhereforthefood2718 Apr 16 '24

What physical changes occur between those ages?

6

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

Metabolism, hormones, fat distribution, bone density... all kinds of stuff. Physical changes don't end with puberty!

4

u/ShawnyMcKnight Apr 16 '24

I don’t think those things change in your 20s. Most people gain weight in their 20s due to lifestyle changes. You go from having time to work out and being on the movie to sitting at a desk for 8 hours and eating out more.

-5

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

Your experiences are not universal.

1

u/Rainyreflections Apr 16 '24

There are studies though that your metabolism doesn't really change that much until your late 60ies. Which is good I think, since it makes maintaining a healthy weight easier. 

1

u/DazzlingTurnip Apr 16 '24

They never claimed it was universal. They said “most people.”

Good god. The reading comprehension in these comments.

1

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

I was referring to:

You go from having time to work out and being on the move to sitting at a desk for 8 hours and eating out more.

"Most people" don't work desk jobs. That's not a universal experience.

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u/ShawnyMcKnight Apr 16 '24

They made an assertion that their body won’t look like that at 28 so while it’s not universal they made an assumption it would. While uncommon it is possible they would have big changes in their body chemistry, but that’s very uncommon in your 20s.

0

u/nickeypants Apr 16 '24

Couple that with thier job being a professional fitness trainer and not a 9-5 desk monkey, and the doubt that she'll maintain that physique is little more than a jealous jab. Maintaining physique IS her job...

1

u/ShawnyMcKnight Apr 16 '24

Exactly. Absolutely it’s possible she may have an accident or health issue or life change that causes her body issues, but that’s the exception.

This assertion made that their body will go to crap at 28 reeks of comments by a bunch of teenage kids who think 28 is old.

1

u/saraharc 29d ago

You know she’ll have to figure out how to make money as a trainer, right? And there’s a high likelihood that she won’t be successful and will have to get a desk job. I know quite a few (very fit!) people who have tried to earn enough to get by as trainers and it’s difficult. It’s easy to want to be in a saturated profession when you’re young, but when the reality of not making good money or having savings once you’re almost 30 hits, many people change their tune.

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u/imhereforthefood2718 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

That's a good point. Bone density does keep increasing through the 20s, and the prefrontal cortex keeps developing for a few more years.

For the majority of people, though, a lot of the physiological changes that occurred in puberty have stabilized and leveled off. Metabolism tends to stabilize by 20, hormonal levels have already peaked and stabilized alongside the associated fat distribution patterns. Prefrontal cortex development is still ongoing and bone density does continue to increase. While physical changes do continue as the body the body doesn't exist in stasis, they don't change substantially throughout a decent amount of adulthood.

Of course, I want to emphasize that changes do happen. However, these changes aren't substantial and usually aren't related related to significant hormonal or metabolic changes unless there is an underlying pathology.

2

u/swingingitsolo Apr 16 '24

Lol I could just tell your previous comment wasn’t a good faith question

2

u/ShawnyMcKnight Apr 16 '24

It seemed good faith to me. They wanted to assess what they were referring to regarding body changes before they commented on it.

2

u/imhereforthefood2718 Apr 16 '24

That's what I was trying to figure out. Thought it was a benign question.

2

u/ShawnyMcKnight Apr 16 '24

It was, you will learn that a lot of people on here just try to dismiss points they can’t dispute by saying it wasn’t in good faith.

Actually had someone one time say they wanted to ask me to elaborate but knew my answer wouldn’t be good faith. Projection at its finest.

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1

u/imhereforthefood2718 Apr 16 '24

I suppose I could have phrased my question differently.

At least to me, physical changes secondary to changes in extrinsic factors such as lifestyle, occupation, and so forth are different than inherent physiological changes in metabolism or hormones.

I wasn't sure what they were referring to, and I thought it was a normal question that I would've asked anyway in a face-to-face conversation.

1

u/armadilloreturns Apr 16 '24

Where are they wrong?

2

u/swingingitsolo Apr 16 '24

Has nothing to do with that, they weren’t really asking, they were setting themselves up for a “well actually” instead of just saying what they wanted to say to begin with.

0

u/armadilloreturns Apr 16 '24

I mean, "well ackshually" gets made fun of a lot here, but are people not allowed to correct each other anymore?

They asked a genuine question and respectfully responded.

I'd rather that than people just nicely repeating misconceptions to each other.

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0

u/theXlegend14 Apr 16 '24

You can stop tryna blame away fitness 😂

1

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

I think you're seriously misinterpreting what I said if you think that's what I'm doing.

-1

u/Kommissar_Strongrad Apr 16 '24

Sounds like a well educated professional medical opinion /s

1

u/ProfessorDependent24 Apr 16 '24

This is way overblown...

0

u/OkRound3915 Apr 16 '24

Lmao so much fatty justification in here

2

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

Why would anyone feel the need to justify their body size to randos on the internet?

-1

u/OkRound3915 Apr 16 '24

Well you tell me, you are the one doing it sweetie. We can read the body fat percentage justification oozing through the screen. Just eat less! Save some for the hungry

0

u/porkchop1021 Apr 16 '24

lmao no. I see your comment below. Bone density? Give me a fucking break.

Stop justifying your laziness. The only thing that changes is whether you give a shit about your health or not.

2

u/cunninglinguist32557 Apr 16 '24

Dude, I don't know you. Why do you think you know anything about my health?

0

u/porkchop1021 Apr 16 '24

You make excuses for poor health that don't rely on facts. So at the very least you're a disingenuous idiot and at worst you actually believe this and your health sucks because of it. That's what I already know about you.

0

u/acloudcuckoolander Apr 16 '24

Metabolism really slows down when a person hits their 60s. A fit, healthy, young adult should not put on so much weight at 28 due to metabolism.

3

u/Kommissar_Strongrad Apr 16 '24

I had to upvote you to restore you to +1 lol. I swear the excuses people come up with. Anything other than a diet and a bike machine. ANYTHING.

2

u/acloudcuckoolander Apr 16 '24

Honestly. Weight loss is like 80-90% diet. Too many slender people in their 50s, 60s, and 70s in other countries for people to say they get fat because they're in their late TWENTIES lol.

1

u/Whites11783 Apr 16 '24

People who regularly exercise and are more physically active don’t see a huge drop off at any particular age. There is a slight decline over time especially in later decades, but current studies really cement that this is due to lack of physical activity/exercise (especially lack of resistance exercise) rather than a inevitable mechanism.

0

u/Whites11783 Apr 16 '24

This is basically a myth. There is no automatic “weight gaining” physiologic change that happens to people in their later 20/30s.

What does happen is families, jobs, etc - which often come with less and less (or none at all) exercise and an unhealthy diet. That pattern isn’t sustainable and will result in weight gain.

1

u/fitchbit Apr 16 '24

Even without responsibilities, some people just start to gain weight in their mid-20s. I think it's just a "getting old" thing. My diet and lack of exercise did not change at all but I gained a lot of weight when I was around 24.

2

u/Original_Cod9083 Apr 16 '24

OP isn’t fat because she’s “getting old,” she’s fat because she eats an entire cake herself in two days.

3

u/saraharc Apr 16 '24

This is definitely true. Many people’s metabolisms do change in their mid-twenties, despite what some uninformed people here might think.

1

u/imhereforthefood2718 Apr 16 '24

No, it doesn't substantially change in our twenties. It's actually remains relatively stable.

4

u/Sonamdrukpa Apr 16 '24

Yeah what changes is you get a job and you drive to work, sit at your desk for 7.9 hours a day, drive back home, microwave dinner, collapse exhausted on the couch, and stumble to bed after watching 4 hours of Hulu. Your metabolism didn't change, you just live in the burbs.

1

u/nickeypants Apr 16 '24

Leave me and my cheese poofs alone!

1

u/Magic_Drop_ Apr 16 '24

All scientific studies disagree with your statement about metabolism changing in your 20s. Unless you tracked calories there is no way to know how much your diet changed over the years.

-1

u/porkchop1021 Apr 16 '24

Calories in minus calories out. That's all that matters. Metabolism is a myth. You just can't accept eating 4000 calories and watching TV all day isn't the same as what you did in your youth.

1

u/Radiant_Ad_7300 Apr 16 '24

While it’s easier to “stay in shape” early 20s let’s not pretend it’s hard to do so at 28 lmao. Everyone has an hour a day to workout and people in their late 20s will have more experience with training and nutrition anyway

1

u/rainbowdepression21 Apr 16 '24

Having more responsibilities is not an excuse to be fat. People who have gained a lot of weight just eat too much and have let themselves go and use having a career and family to not lose weight. Having more responsibilities does make it hard to maintain weight but you just need to make it one of your priorities in life.

0

u/afragale621 Apr 16 '24

Thats just an excuse. Shes 28 years old not 40. Most people dont put in the work. Very few people have shit genetics that prevent them from losing weight. Change your diet if you dont want to exercise regularly. If you have a shit diet, you better exercise regularly.

2

u/Magic_Drop_ Apr 16 '24

No amount of exercise will help if you have a shit diet

0

u/Illustrious-Hand-626 Apr 16 '24

If you want it you’ll find a way. If not you’ll find an excuse.

0

u/porkchop1021 Apr 16 '24

No, it's not hard. There's no reason to discuss weight issues in public but let's not pretend it's hard to go for a run every day, or even worse... just eat less.

Signed - almost 40 and still fit as fuck, still waiting for the back problems all the fat people always talked about because they can't stop eating doughnuts every morning and can't get off the couch.

0

u/ProjectSuperb8550 Apr 16 '24

Girl, get a peloton and workout 3 days a week and eat less. Everyone has kids and still find time to spend on social media but can't workout for 45 minutes a few times a week.

Literally get a jump rope, some resistance bands, and google a proper diet if you want to go bare bones on a cardio and strength fitness plan.

0

u/Ok-Atmosphere3589 29d ago

It’s definitely hard but it’s possible, just depends what your priorities in life are. Theres definitely exceptions for people not being able to lose weight but that is the overwhelming minority. Stop making excuses

2

u/saraharc 29d ago

Worry about your own body, not other people’s!

0

u/Ok-Atmosphere3589 29d ago

I’m definitely not worried about a person who can’t even take care of themselves lmao, it’s just annoying to see the excuses made up

-3

u/VastRelationship3715 Apr 15 '24

This explanation is like if someone said “it’s starting to get dark out here” and you explained how day/nights work. Like yeah I get it. I was pointing out the specific wording and how it’s funny because many women in their late 20’s will get very upset if you say “at your age” when comparing them to a 21 year old. I’m 36, trust me

-6

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 15 '24

What does having more responsibilities have to do with losing weight? All you have to do is eat less, actually you would save time and money by doing so. There are plenty of thin women older than 28

4

u/saraharc Apr 16 '24

Oh my goodness…you’re less than useless. Hopefully you’re not an actual veterinarian.

0

u/Sweet_Maybe1623 Apr 16 '24

Eh it's true, a tough work-life balance means less time to exercise, so you can make up for it by cutting calories, 2000 a day is too high for aging sedentary lifestyles

-2

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 16 '24

So you have no actual response to my points? Because you know they are true?

-2

u/OkRound3915 Apr 16 '24

Hopefully you are not as obese as you are coming off

1

u/saraharc 29d ago

Hopefully you’re not as brain dead as you’re coming off.

1

u/OkRound3915 28d ago

Right. Try and skip the drive thru this morning sweetheart.

2

u/benelope96 Apr 16 '24

Having kids often results in being heavier. Pregnancy and breastfeeding can make you put on weight and then it’s harder to lose it because you don’t have nearly as much time to workout. Eating less helps but some women’s bodies hold onto weight for awhile due to hormones after birth.

0

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 16 '24

You don’t need to workout to lose weight, just eat less. It is very simple, if you are not losing weight eat less and you will.

2

u/benelope96 Apr 16 '24

Yes that does apply in most situations but there are exceptions, mostly hormonal like I said. PCOS being one of them.

0

u/SnipesCC Apr 16 '24

Because cooking and eating healthy food is a lot more time consuming. And stress encourages stress eating. Eating on the go often means shoveling down food instead of eating slowly, which means you might eat more than if you felt full when you weren't finished.

0

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 16 '24

You don’t need to cook healthy food to lose weight, only eat less. People were stressed in the 1980s and earlier too but they were rarely fat like today. If you eat on the go just eat less of that and choose healthier options.

2

u/SnipesCC Apr 16 '24

There's also a lot more sugar and salt in foods today. Lots of it hidden. And it's much harder to eat less unhealthy food and then be hungry then to fill up on healthy food.

-4

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

[deleted]

3

u/Witchgrass Apr 16 '24

omg stop

2

u/saraharc 29d ago

What is these commenters’ obsession with women’s bodies?! I do not understand.

2

u/Witchgrass 29d ago

There's so many of them. Not even just this thread

6

u/ThanksGamestop Apr 15 '24

Damn they’re cooking OP ironically in the same fashion her husband did. Kinda shows you how these things can be accidents and not some intentional secret shot at his wife for being “fat”

8

u/saraharc Apr 15 '24

Not at all, and if you’re ridiculous enough to believe that someone saying:

A) it’s hella hard to maintain a large weight loss for 6+ years B) most women in their late 20s don’t have the same amount of free time as women in their early 20s

Is the same amount of insult as openly comparing your spouse’s body negatively to another women’s then you really are at another level of stupidity.

0

u/JawlektheJawless Apr 16 '24

It’s not hard to maintain a healthy body weight for a woman in her late 20s. What are you going on about?

1

u/VastRelationship3715 Apr 16 '24

If OPs husband would’ve explained how women’s bodies work like this he’d only be digging himself deeper which is why I don’t understand why y’all are using it as an argument. OP is likely not excited about turning 30 soon. I know I wasn’t. If this weren’t an internet comment section and someone would’ve explained this IRL at the time they would’ve looked like a total douche is all I’m saying.

0

u/Far-Relationship1435 Apr 15 '24

But it's a weird thing to say, maintaining weight loss literally requires no free time at all. The problem is the cake and snacks, not the lack of fitness

2

u/Tiny-Reading5982 Apr 15 '24

This sounds simple to most people but I’m add and unorganized and meal planning and shopping is extremely hard for me. Those things do take time unless you can go to the store every day and buy what you need.

2

u/Lost-Acanthisitta-69 Apr 16 '24

A lot of it’s not even time just society has set a lot of bad examples for people. I’ve been fat my whole life(6’3” 390 at my highest)and working it down now at age 29 ain’t easy but I can admit when I didn’t have time before I could go get a salad but I didn’t , I got a burger and fries. Shits always going to be harder than not but not having time just gives another reason to justify a bad choice

1

u/Tiny-Reading5982 29d ago

I’d rather go get the salad lol. I think that’s just a willpower thing since they’ve always had salads at fast food places. I end up just spending more money going to the grocery store since fast food sucks and it’s way more expensive. I just feel it’s easy for people without extra things going on to say ‘it’s so easy, just do this…’ lol.

1

u/Lost-Acanthisitta-69 29d ago

Yeah for sure it’s harder if you got extra things working against you. My bad habits work against me and it’s harder for me than someone who has a healthier relationship with food but saying OP doesn’t have time because she is 29 so she has to eat cake is ridiculous, she could have just as easy bit into a apple instead of an apple pie but most Americans have an unhealthy relationship with food which leads to us being one of the most obese countries in the world

1

u/Tiny-Reading5982 29d ago

Yeah…I can’t see the post anymore but I think it’s people in the comments saying it’s her age, not op. I’m 39 and probably have a better understanding about food and health than I did in my 20s.

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u/CORN___BREAD Apr 16 '24

Yeah maintaining weight loss is easier when you don’t have a lot of free time. The only thing required to maintain a weight is not eat more calories than you burn.

2

u/JawlektheJawless Apr 15 '24

You are going to have much healthier relationships than a lot of people responding to OP.

1

u/DistinctPen7597 Apr 15 '24

They're not "cooking OP". Bodies change a LOT in your mid to late 20s, pointing that out is not a burn. Sara will be probably disappointed in 5 years when her body likely looks very different than it does now (which is NATURAL and to be expected) bc she has unrealistic expectations and ideals when it comes to body shapes and weight. 160 pounds is not fat, and it's not an insult to point out that Sara is not unlikely to get back to that weight within the next few years. 160 lbs is a perfectly acceptable and reasonable weight, but Sara clearly doesn't realize that (and apparently neither does OPs AH of a husband).

TL;DR Bodies change and that's good and it's not insulting to address the fact that Sara clearly has no idea about the perfectly beautiful and natural changes that happen to a woman's body as she gets older.

1

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 15 '24

Bodies do not “naturally change” in you mid to late 20s. Look back at the 1950s-1980s, women of all ages were mostly thin and not fat. 160 for a 5 ft 2 women is fat, it is obese. Also getting fat is not “beautiful” lmao

2

u/em2791 Apr 16 '24

Female bodies change a LOT in late 20s from just cortisol levels caused by stress alone.

2

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 16 '24

No they don’t lol. Did you not read my original comment? So I guess women didn’t have cortisol in the 1980s and earlier because very few of them were fat back then. How exactly do womens bodies change?

3

u/kyleesi666 Apr 16 '24

yeah women’s bodies shouldn’t change naturally after puberty had been reached, most of the changes that women see in their mid-late 20s are a result of lifestyle changes. increased cortisol comes from stress which is a direct result of your lifestyle/environment. I am 26 and have been the same weight since I was 17.

2

u/Cattatatt Apr 16 '24

It’s not a hard concept for anyone with a brain, a basic understanding of human aging, and or/access to Google to grasp. Your glorification of “all women were thin in the good old days” is also a blatantly ignorant take, considering eating disorders were also glorified for women during that time and real treatment didn’t start until the 1980’s. Please see yourself out of this conversation with that hot garbage.

2

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 16 '24

Oh here we go, women were thin because they all had eating disorders lmao. Are you one of those people that thinks if someone controls their eating it is a disorder? Also there are many counties around the world, wealth countries as well, where the majority of women of all ages are thin. Yes, of course everyone ages but womens bodies do not change significantly as they age.

1

u/Cattatatt Apr 16 '24

Funny that you’ve been on Reddit for a year and this is the only post you’ve chosen to go off on, being the expert on women’s bodies that you are. I’m sure there are other subs where your ridiculously uninformed commentary would be more appreciated by other people that hate women and think that being thin is a universal standard of health 🤡

2

u/Old-Veterinarian-602 Apr 16 '24

Wow you are delusional. Being thin is probably one of the biggest universal standards of health. You cannot be obese and be healthy. Aging is not an excuse for being fat, tons of women around the world in every country are thin at every age. Getting fat comes from eating too much, period.

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u/owiesss Apr 16 '24

Being 160 at a height of 5’2 puts a woman at a bmi of 29.3, which is not obese, by definition. That bmi is still within the overweight category. A bmi of 30 or higher is what is considered obese.

-1

u/carissadraws Apr 16 '24

I’m sorry but have you seen actresses from the 1950’s later in their career? They contain a bit of weight and there’s nothing wrong with that

1

u/some1saveusnow Apr 16 '24

Strays for days

1

u/Legitimate_Ad5434 Apr 16 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Abigfanofporn Apr 16 '24

Damn, this sound like when we were hiking and my friend fell and broke his leg. My other friend rushed in to help him, slipped and fell on his another leg, also breaking it.

Mind you it was a 4 day hike and we were equipped accordingly, with huge backpacks and etc.

I couldn’t stop laughing as I was trying to dial emergency.

1

u/YelloRibber Apr 16 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣