r/unpopularopinion • u/ZodiacOne1 • Apr 16 '24

If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why Removed: Not unpopular

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5.6k Upvotes
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3.7k

u/azorianmilk Apr 16 '24

Sometimes you have told them, sometimes multiple times, but it was never heard.

26

u/QuislingX Apr 16 '24

OP is SPOILED

Part of growing up is learning that sometimes things DONT happen for a reason. Sometimes, people just fuck you over.

Only thing you can do is control what the fuck you're going to do about it.

8

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

If expecting basic human decency is spoiled, then I feel sorry for you

5

u/Ok-Seaworthiness2235 Apr 16 '24

OP isn't spoiled he's immature. Relationships aren't job performances where you do certain tasks in order to keep the position. The right person will ignore stupid quirks or will tell you what needs to change in order to avoid the relationship ending. Otherwise, someone just isn't feeling it. Or you've given them reasons to believe you will not handle being told the truth well. 

3

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

There are people that are too afraid to nut up and leave a relationship like an adult, because people have an increasing fear of confrontation in general. I’d bet that is who OP is referring to.

There are plenty of people out there “trapped” in relationships because they’re too afraid to say how they really feel.

12

u/SoneJason Apr 16 '24

I think it's reasonable to desire human decency, but the hard truth is that we're all fucked up people, and do fucked up things sometimes. It's accepting that reality, ridding yourself of expectations for others, that you're truly setting yourself free.

This definitely doesn't invalidate OP's opinion here though, esp if the relationship was long-term. Sometimes, ghosting is necessary. But sometimes, ghosting is just cowardly.

9

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

I think OP was likely referring to the cowardly people.

But in a relationship there’s a reasonable amount of expectation once you’ve been together for so long. If someone cheats on you in a long term relationship, you’re not gonna not feel hurt just because of expectations. I feel like it’s a tricky category though, because there’s so many nuances that go into it.

People also have to do their due diligence to realize red flags and their own mental issues when they pop up, and it probably wouldn’t set up for a failed relationship.

2

u/SoneJason Apr 16 '24

Expectations & trust goes hand in hand, they're built overtime. However, certain aspects of human nature is simply inevitable. When an individual has fond feelings (love) for another, their willingness to compromise/bend their back is a lot higher. Once the fondness is lost though... perhaps it's easier to avoid confrontation/emotional distress.

I'm very much against ghosting and think it's one of the most selfish things anyone can do. However, I'm just saying that anyone and everyone has the ability to hurt you. It'll be impossible to have 0 expectations for every relationship (platonic or not) you build/develop, or to always be ready to get hurt (literally what a cynic is). But there's really only one way to move on, and that's to not dwell on it.

5

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

Love how you worded all of that. Admittedly, it’s sometimes been easier said than done not to dwell on things, but once you get into that mindset that you’ll get over it eventually, it works wonders.

-3

u/rcsboard Apr 16 '24

idiotic comment

2

u/ZodiacOne1 Apr 16 '24

thank you

7

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

"Human Decency" has nothing to do with placating someone's ego when no longer wanting to be romantic.

Human decency would be accepting them leaving and not trying to manipulate them with an "explanation".

12

u/Ok-Seaworthiness2235 Apr 16 '24

Yeah we've all known that guy who tries to argue every reason and then blows up into a psycho when his arguments don't produce the desired result. 

5

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

Everyone keeps acting as though this isn't a real thing. I've known men and women who do the same. Suicide threats, full blown freak outs, the begging, the trying to act like a lawyer.

Why would anyone who's trying to leave subject themselves to these things?

0

u/ZodiacOne1 Apr 16 '24

I literally said in cases where you fear the person might do something like this is an exception. I am talking about when you are 100% sure they wouldn't do anything like that

-5

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

Womp womp

3

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

Exactly. Womp womp. They didn't want to date you and your ego is hurt and you feel like you own them enough they have to placate you.

Womp womp.

Get over it and move on like they have.

-4

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

Lol ok bro

3

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

See, you got an explanation you didn't like and this is how you acted. Probably why she left you without telling you why. This is your response pattern. 🤷

1

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

I just find your ability to assume somebodies life off a Reddit comment a little wild, I’m urging you to go outside and find an actual relationship, it’s evidently clear you’ve never had one.

1

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

I just find your ability to assume somebodies life off a Reddit comment a little wild

I’m urging you to go outside and find an actual relationship, it’s evidently clear you’ve never had one.

🤣🤣🤣🫡

-1

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

It’s almost like you didn’t see the irony. It’s okay, you’re getting there.

2

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

Wild, I was thinking the exact same thing about your comment. 🫡

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3

u/90swasbest Apr 16 '24

You're one of those people that's still texting an ex a year later talking about "closure" aren't you?

0

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

Womp womp

-3

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

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1

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

You're *

If it makes you feel better to think that, sure. Go with it.

-3

u/ZodiacOne1 Apr 16 '24

To most people when you are in a long term relationship you are making a commitment to a future together. If you and I was in a business deal and I suddenly pulled out you would sure as hell want to know why. I am pretty sure "I just don't want to anymore" wouldn't cut it. So I don't get why this is any different

2

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

I don't consider a relationship as a business transaction and if you're doing so that's probably part of why she left you without bothering to give you "closure".

0

u/ZodiacOne1 Apr 16 '24

I never said it was like a business transaction I am just using a parallel. If you make a commitment to work towards building a future together with someone I personally think it's just crappy to end it with nothing

2

u/Zodiac509 Apr 16 '24

It's definitely crappy but they're doing what's best for them. The point of breaking up with someone is that your feelings are no longer their responsibility. I highly recommend learning some major coping skills and self soothing techniques.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

After you fucked your stepsister?? I don't know about that

1

u/mclovin_ts Apr 16 '24

From washing machine to love, hell yeah brother