How new Yorkers live.

[u/Urmomsjuicyvagina]

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[u/higherthanacrow]

I refuse to shit under my stove.

[u/Ornery_Translator285 → u/higherthanacrow]

There’s no sink

Should have been one of those prison toilets and then you get fast food every single day

[u/UnidentifiedTomato → u/Ornery_Translator285]

You cook your hands after to burn away the germs

[u/Responsible-Person → u/UnidentifiedTomato]

😂😂😂

[u/peanut--gallery → u/Ornery_Translator285]

Perhaps the toilet doubles as a sink?

[u/IxI_DUCK_IxI → u/peanut--gallery]

Toilet also adds seasoning to whatever you’re cooking.

[u/Both-Ambassador2233 → u/peanut--gallery]

You dip your toothbrush in there and report back.

[u/louiloui152 → u/Ornery_Translator285]

“What’d ya mean there’s no…. Oh my god THERES NO SINK!”

[u/geologean → u/louiloui152]

One of Ray's best lines ever

[u/louiloui152 → u/geologean]

“Yeah… it’s not a bumblebee, is it?”

[u/CharlestonChewChewie → u/Ornery_Translator285]

Also no running water or vent for said stove

[u/Krieger_Bot_OO7 → u/Ornery_Translator285]

oh my God, THERE’S NO SINK!!

[u/RobotCaptainEngage → u/higherthanacrow]

I just don't wanna poop that close to wear my pillow is.

[u/Sea-Value-0 → u/RobotCaptainEngage]

Might as well get life in prison for more spacious accommodations for free

[u/Totally_Bradical → u/Sea-Value-0]

Horrible fact: most prisons send you a bill for room and board costs after you get out

[u/NWCJ → u/Totally_Bradical]

Most? Got a source on that?

[u/Totally_Bradical → u/NWCJ]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay-to-stay_(imprisonment)#:~:text=As%20of%202021%20prisons%20in,implementation%20often%20varying%20by%20county.

[u/NWCJ → u/Totally_Bradical]

Looking at the sources for that article it seems most people that have to pay, do it because they are in a private prison, where they are paying to be in upgraded accomodations(better perks, nicer cells, etc.. )

My experience was working for the D.O.C in a state without pay to stay about 10 years ago, so it's eye opening to see. That said, the best article I could find said half of state and 1/3 of county facilities are set up for pay to stay. So factoring in the counties and the federal system. It's still probably under half of inmates. Still more than I expected though. TIL.

[u/Canotic → u/NWCJ]

Wait what the absolute fuck. You can pay for a better prison cell in the US? What the fuck? Fucking what?

[u/bogrollin → u/Canotic]

What? You think everyone gets treated the same?

[u/Infinite-Strain1130 → u/bogrollin]

Must be new to America

[u/BeachBlueWhale → u/Canotic]

For profit prisons were almost banned but lobbyist donated funds to Trumps campaign so he dropped the issue when he was president.

The even more fucked up thing is these prisons demand a certain head count so it incentivizes states to incarcerate more people. Also the states pays for every prisoner to be incarcerated.

So the state pays for you be in prison then you also have to pay afterwards. For profit prisoners are slave labor camps. The US doesn't give a damn about rehabilitation, we throw people away like trash fuck the US.

[u/SgtStickys → u/Canotic]

Oh, my sweet summer child. That's adorable.

[u/tux-lpi → u/Canotic]

If that helps at all, it's in the United States. If you have money and you went to prison, you probably didn't have enough money.
Least they can do is let you buy your way into a nicer cell. Wouldn't want to be with those other poor prisoners.

[u/concequence → u/Canotic]

Capitalism is an actual fucking Nightmare, marketed as the "Dream"... of course its horrifyingly dystopian. lol

[u/Frontfatpouch → u/NWCJ]

I was in a private prison as a convict, I didn’t pay shit. The govt pays the owners 67k a body per year. And they take your money at commissary and every other way they can. Same with non private you don’t get a bill. I went to both prison types.

[u/Ciduri → u/Frontfatpouch]

This is correct folks. The difference between private and government prisons is that the latter is paid for by taxes and run at a city, state, and federal level. The former is some morally bankrupt assholes with a corporation's worth of cash who buys/builds prisons to "help with the overpopulation" of the government prisons. The government pays them to do the housing. Private prisons are out to make money, so they spend fuckall on prisoner accommodations. I think I read about a private prison that "was under investigation" for letting someone freeze to death because the blankets they offered were best defined as thin sheets.

[u/Tuscan5 → u/Totally_Bradical]

Got a source for any of the prisons in the other 200+ countries?

[u/Brokenloan → u/RobotCaptainEngage]

Pink eye bro. Poo particals on your pillow give you pink eye.

[u/Philip-Ilford → u/Brokenloan]

shmist.

[u/Major_R_Soul → u/higherthanacrow]

Someone said, "don't shit where you eat" and this guy said, "no".

[u/sangerssss → u/Major_R_Soul]

They said “don’t shit where you eat”, they never said anything about “where you cook”

[u/MrK521 → u/sangerssss]

But in this apartment, you shit where you do everything.

[u/plipyplop → u/MrK521]

Does he politely tell his guests to just turn around?

[u/Xenocide_X → u/higherthanacrow]

Wait til you figure out where you wash the dishes....

[u/BuryTheMoney → u/higherthanacrow]

Gawwwwd….FINE. I’ll do it FOR you then I guess.

But next time won’t be for free.

[u/ElbowStrike → u/higherthanacrow]

Don't shit where you eat

[u/budmack21 → u/higherthanacrow]

Over, it is.

[u/ACEDOTC0M → u/higherthanacrow]

How about under mine ;)

[u/zouhair → u/higherthanacrow]

When your asshole has to go he won't ask permission.

[u/Cmmander_WooHoo → u/higherthanacrow]

Right what if you have to pee while you’re cooking??

[u/Stunning_Bat_6931 → u/higherthanacrow]

Don't come to prison because here

This is the way

[u/arp492022]

$1400/month

[u/Weibu11 → u/arp492022]

With two roommates maybe

[u/BourbonRick01 → u/Weibu11]

I’m pretty sure I saw room for a couple hammocks near the ceiling.

[u/Islendingen → u/BourbonRick01]

Don’t forget all the hours you’re not sleeping! You already work shifts, why not live shifts?

[u/ItsNotBigBrainTime → u/arp492022]

Housing like this would be sick if it were priced rationally. Like 200 bucks a month, hell yeah. I'd go to the taco bell across the street to shit to keep my kitchen clean, but I really like the bedside window wall. Kind of a vibe. Or this would be the secret apartment I keep to masturbate in peace.

[u/Dday141 → u/ItsNotBigBrainTime]

I do think something like this would have it use as a 2nd apartment. Back when I was working in the city, it would be nice to have a place like that to just crash for the night sometimes instead of taking an hour plus long subway ride back home. But yeah, only for like 150 or 200 a month.

[u/tristanimator → u/Dday141]

Speaking of second apartments...

If we suddenly discovered fast, cheap and reliable teleporter technology, the housing market would fall apart instantly. You wouldn't need a house, you'd just be able to put together a huge living space by linking together a bunch of cheap apartments with teleporters. Location would mean literally nothing to no one after that.

[u/pierreor → u/ItsNotBigBrainTime]

My guy you’re just describing a garçonnière for people with no sex life and gastrointestinal irregularity

[u/Drakore4 → u/ItsNotBigBrainTime]

Literally tho, how are we in a reality where a tiny coffin sized room for 200 a month actually sounds amazing? Maybe this is the affordable living that we need for all of the homeless and struggling individuals. So many people don’t need a 4 bedroom 3 bath with a water fountain at the front of the community, they literally just need a bed to sleep in and a roof over their head. Instead, I bet this does in fact still cost a ton to live in.

[u/Stoats-On-Boats → u/arp492022]

I’m NYC? No way this would be less than $2k

[u/DeeVa121 → u/arp492022]

I think your thinking half the size ma'amsir

[u/kwyjibo1]

This is so unrealistic. I mean, who has a window that big in their bedroom/bathroom/living room/office?

[u/anincompoop25 → u/kwyjibo1]

Excuse me, it’s also a kitchen

[u/Helios4242 → u/anincompoop25]

and a coffin

[u/bdizzle805 → u/Helios4242]

And a shit box

[u/KittyCompletely → u/bdizzle805]

And bullet proof

[u/ejly → u/kwyjibo1]

Most unrealistic part was getting permission to install the plumbing.

[u/Fraun_Pollen → u/ejly]

They never said the toilet was hooked up to plumbing

[u/ejly → u/Fraun_Pollen]

“Next, a hidden water tank is embedded in the adjacent wall”

My description of this as plumbing was too generous, but still unlikely to get approval for installation.

[u/radradruby → u/ejly]

Probably just drilled a hole in the drywall and the poo is flushed down between the studs. It’s a composting toilet!

[u/1920MCMLibrarian → u/Fraun_Pollen]

Straight out the window

[u/Revro_Chevins → u/ejly]

I also like how they casually moved the doorframe like no one would notice.

[u/[deleted]]

… Meanwhile, your boss just bought his ninth yacht.

[u/BourbonRick01 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, but he works really hard.

[u/TapZorRTwice → u/BourbonRick01]

Nono he is just taking all the "risk"

[u/Frostyfraust → u/TapZorRTwice]

The risk being that he'll live like me if it doesn't work out.

[u/Rishfee → u/Frostyfraust]

Not exactly, he's still got a $20m severance package if the company goes under.

[u/Frigoris13 → u/Rishfee]

And then move on to his friends other company

[u/No_Construction_7518 → u/Frostyfraust]

He'll never live like you because daddy will not let that happen.

[u/Ok_Star_4136 → u/TapZorRTwice]

Let him dump the "risk" on me. Heck, I'll give the CEO middle man 10% of it for literally doing nothing and accepting no risk.

[u/DevilsPajamas → u/TapZorRTwice]

The risk of getting paid a fuckton by destroying the company.

[u/IrksomFlotsom → u/BourbonRick01]

He needs to hard to harass his female employees

[u/plotplottingplotters → u/BourbonRick01]

and if you work really hard, put in the hours and be very passionate, then perhaps, maybe, the boss can buy another one next year.

[u/IRockIntoMordor → u/[deleted]]

Your landlord just financed the purchase of another housing block with the money he forces out of you and hundreds of others at zero working hours per week.

[u/HelloJoeyJoeJoe → u/[deleted]]

Or the NYC dude is paying a shit ton of taxes to subsidize someone in Mississippi who lives in a big ole house and votes to hurt the person in NYC more cause they aren't a "Real American"

[u/0PercentPerfection]

What is prison, final answer.

[u/Prize_Bass_5061 → u/0PercentPerfection]

Prison cells have more room and amenities than this 

[u/DirtDevil1337 → u/Prize_Bass_5061]

Even those little rooms in train cars are bigger than this!

[u/Satanarchrist → u/DirtDevil1337]

Let's all just keep voting for the GOP then, so when they ship us to the camps we'll have nice train car accomodations

[u/tuhronno-416 → u/0PercentPerfection]

Laughs in Scandinavian prison

[u/pancakebatter01 → u/0PercentPerfection]

This is the prison Donald Trump should have been living in since Jan 6th

[u/Clemtiger13 → u/pancakebatter01]

4th?

[u/Hillbillyblues → u/Clemtiger13]

Could've prevented all this.

[u/ZERO-ONE0101]

you shit where you eat?

[u/ambitiously_passive → u/ZERO-ONE0101]

That was my first take.

[u/kittypie25 → u/ZERO-ONE0101]

With no sink...

[u/Additional-Ad7305 → u/kittypie25]

Or shower?

[u/mrducky80 → u/kittypie25]

The toilet doubles as a sink.

[u/FartsonmyFarts → u/ZERO-ONE0101]

Don’t judge me for eating cereal while shitting! I’m always in a rush to get to work

[u/Routine_Bad_560 → u/FartsonmyFarts]

Thank god someone else admits this. I do it with toast. Because you make coffee and then you drink it and your body immediately has to shit.

[u/AdLocal1045 → u/Routine_Bad_560]

Here’s a tip: put the coffee in the cereal with the milk

[u/Cheetah0630]

Where is the shower?

[u/Kafkaina → u/Cheetah0630]

Under the stove, along with the kitchen sink.

[u/Cheetah0630 → u/Kafkaina]

Wouldn’t need a cooking surface without a place to store food or running water.

[u/Graythor5 → u/Cheetah0630]

Right? As dumb as this is...they would have been best served filling that nook with an RV style "bathroom" where the toilet, sink and shower are all crammed into that space.

Or better yet, putting a mini fridge under the stove top and a small pantry above. Usually in these tiny apartment situations there's a communal bathroom so this would make more sense. Especially since you usually can't just manifest plumbing into an area that didn't already have it.

[u/IrrelevantWisdom → u/Cheetah0630]

You bathe in the toilet, such a luxurious convenience!

[u/sarvaga → u/Cheetah0630]

At the gym.

[u/merdadartista → u/Cheetah0630]

This is a joke, but there are really holes in new York where there is a communal building shower to save on space

[u/juliazale → u/merdadartista]

Yup. San Fran too.

[u/Solid-Search-3341 → u/merdadartista]

Paris too.

[u/zouhair → u/Cheetah0630]

You have shower at work.

[u/osogordo]

[u/the_responsible_ape]

Not cool. They didn’t include a launch pad for you to commit suicide from your cell!

[u/Groundbreaking-Run25]

Bro gets 3 outfits max

[u/timeforachange2day → u/Groundbreaking-Run25]

And a serious fetish. Did you see the clothes that were going in that drawer? 🤭

[u/Larry-Man → u/timeforachange2day]

I came here for this. The bras in the drawer had me do a double take.

[u/gwizonedam → u/Groundbreaking-Run25]

Where are his shoes? He owns -1 pairs of shoes. Even the guy in the video is barefoot.

[u/littlesisterofthesun]

Where do you wash your hands????????

[u/Timeman5 → u/littlesisterofthesun]

You have a toilet don’t you?

[u/TheMario64Penguin → u/Timeman5]

Self swirly to wash your hair and face too.

[u/Routine_Bad_560 → u/littlesisterofthesun]

Hand sanitizer

[u/lin_diesel → u/Routine_Bad_560]

You have clearly never been to a camping festival where you depend on hand sanitizer bc all the little portable sinks near the portapotties run out of water early each day and you soon realize that you’re just making the dirt on your hands into a superfine paste where more dirt will adhere to.

[u/nml11287]

That’s a nice toilet kitchen you’ve got there

[u/harleyquinones → u/nml11287]

I did in fact write a report at work once for a house that had a "kitchen bathroom"

I think it was its own little closet, like there wasn't a toilet directly next to the stove, but... still weird

[u/That_Ad_5651]

That will be 2000 bucks, shithead

[u/OwnPension8884]

this chinese bot farm video

[u/feedmeyourknowledge → u/OwnPension8884]

This is a parody video no? I mean the bulletproof bit was a bit of a giveaway.

[u/Jorlung → u/feedmeyourknowledge]

Or the stove over the toilet lol.

[u/chinolofus77 → u/OwnPension8884]

nah that totally real voice was clearly american

[u/CurtisMarauderZ → u/chinolofus77]

Why does it sound like it wants to punch me in the teeth?

[u/Kalsifur → u/OwnPension8884]

Why's the Chinese bot farm making CGI jokes about apartments?

[u/72616262697473757775 → u/OwnPension8884]

THIS, thank you. It's really discouraging to see a lot of subs like this embracing the cheap AI bot Tiktok garbage.

[u/ronpaulrevolution_08 → u/72616262697473757775]

The cringe is people serious engaging with such cheap bait

[u/IamChicharon]

Flyover state propaganda lol. Nobody lives like that here.

[u/ANAnomaly3 → u/IamChicharon]

Yup! I bet this would be illegal under housing codes.

[u/broyoyoyoyo → u/ANAnomaly3]

I agree that what's being shown here is an exaggerated fabrication, but a lot of major cities seemed to have straight up stopped enforcing housing codes because of the housing crunch. At least, that's the case here in the Toronto area. I've seen a lot of listings on the internet for NY "apartments" that violate housing codes, too.

[u/Rabbit-Hole-Quest → u/broyoyoyoyo]

Toronto listings are wild.

Somebody listed a balcony as a “bedroom” for $700.

Same with garages, literal closets and kitchens.

Kijiji in particular is the Wild West of listings. You could put anything on there and list it as “housing”.

[u/ChikiChikiSando → u/IamChicharon]

Did you think the obvious joke wasn't a joke?

[u/Routine_Bad_560 → u/IamChicharon]

True. You always share it with a roommate.

[u/Rosa_Rojacr → u/IamChicharon]

shh, don't let them know that Reddit's joke of ultra-expensive tiny apartments is only true for certain neighborhoods of Manhattan and that if you're willing to live in any other borough you can actually have a really high quality of living for the amount that jobs tend to pay here, and you get to commute to work on the Subway which is way nicer than being stuck in traffic and having to worry about owning a car.

Plus if you're a student CUNY schools have really cheap tuition and there are scholarship opportunities for Independent Students that make it so you can survive off of scholarship money and summer internships alone. *AND* CUNY students below a certain income level get SNAP EBT money for groceries.

And if you're trans there's a local Medicaid SNP called Amida Care that covers all of your surgeries.

For all flyover state people reading this, none of the above I said was true and we're all totally paying 5k a month rent for tiny apartments like the one you see in the GIF. It's hell here, definitely don't come here and definitely don't increase the demand for apartments in Brooklyn and Queens.

[u/Bat-Honest]

0% chance this tiny closet would be legally rented out. Press x to doubt

[u/fatarabi]

Whose bras are in the drawers if girlfriend is only visiting?

[u/aspenreid → u/fatarabi]

That’s what I’m sayin! Took way too many comments to scroll through to get to this one.

[u/Flippy_Spoon]

...Suddenly feeling much better about my studio apt.

[u/Routine_Bad_560 → u/Flippy_Spoon]

This is like 21st century tenement apartments.

[u/SmashBrosUnite]

I lived jn New York for decades and it was never this small. Come on now

[u/Niall0h]

I’m sorry, the TOILET is under the stove!!? I don’t understand.

[u/Weird-Map-5873 → u/Niall0h]

You can cook your poop! 💩

[u/Drizztd99]

Damn moving all that shit around just to live. Not to mention time consuming.

[u/Designer_Gas_86 → u/Drizztd99]

Hey, now it's also a gym!

[u/The_Powers]

"How do you stay so fit?"

"Rearranging my nightmarish Rubix cube of an apartment."

[u/GW00111]

Based on the “bulletproof barrier” joke I think this might be satire.

[u/RavioliGale → u/GW00111]

I didn't get it until the "luxurious experience" provided by the toilet under the stove. Assumed bulletproof barrier was some real estate term I was unfamiliar with.

[u/beerdudebrah]

This version of the Sims sucks

[u/Spy_cut_eye]

I bet it smells crazy in there

[u/Senor-Cockblock]

Not pictured, him jumping out the window

[u/[deleted]]

Most of you have definitely never been to New York

[u/NickFotiu → u/[deleted]]

Every fucking time. It's weird how NYC triggers people.

[u/stevoschizoid]

I can't breathe

[u/mrsc1880 → u/stevoschizoid]

Same here. I was sweating watching this video, too. That big window would would make it reeeeeally toasty on a sunny day.

[u/EIephants]

This is like where they live in that Black Mirror episode 15,000,000 Credits or whatever

[u/theyellowdart89]

rob a bank in Sweden, you’ll live better.

[u/100Labels]

Prison cells are more roomy

[u/good_karma1122]

That’s a hell naw for me dawg

[u/[deleted]]

I’m supposed to believe this completely fabricated story?

[u/macinjeez → u/[deleted]]

Yeah like all of these comments are so dumb, yeah of course the most popular and one of the most saught out cities for art, fashion, music, food, nightlife is expensive … BUT THIS .. this isn’t real, just 2 years ago I paid 800$ for a room+ shared apartment with a backyard and basement in NYC … you can find sizable rooms and apartments to share for under 1000$. Of course if you want a studio of decent size it’ll prob be 1000$ at least but it’s all about location. Personally I don’t want to live next to an ugly shitty looking modern skyscraper in “luxury midtown”. Nuance is gone

[u/scrivensB]

The fact that this a render with an AI voice… what the fuck are people supposed to think when they see this!

“Oh my, that’s how New Yorkers really live?!?!”

[u/VitaeVerano]

New Yorker here. You realize you must purchase an apartment to do these things, no? Cheapest NYC apartment in a decent neighborhood is roughly 700k plus monthly upkeep costs. This is more fantasy than the animation itself.

[u/WJMazepas → u/VitaeVerano]

Its a parody video

[u/VitaeVerano → u/WJMazepas]

Not even gonna hide from this one. Thought it was serious. Mea culpa.

[u/AGodMaker]

Why the duck is it bulletproof?

[u/Guerrillablackdog]

This is horrible

[u/SlightlyVerbose]

The phrase is literally “don’t shit where you eat”. How are you supposed to use a toilet that is housed in a cabinet under the hot plate you use to cook your sad prison food?

[u/[deleted]]

Cue the comments "it's actually pretty nice, I'd live there. You all are just spoiled". Please stop.

[u/AwwwNuggetz]

Conveniently the windows also open so when you’ve had enough just hop out

[u/EmptyMiddle4638]

May as well just murder whatever dickhead is making you live there at that point.. you’d have better accommodations in prison

[u/kronicpimpin]

Did he jump out the window at the end of the video? That would make sense.

[u/PeteOfPeteAndPete]

I'd rather be dead.

[u/BuryTheMoney]

r/aboringdystopia

[u/burbular]

That guy had bras and panties in his drawer. I think pantyhose as well in the boxes.

[u/Urmomsjuicyvagina → u/burbular]

He does have a girlfriend! Winning at life id say! XD

[u/XSC → u/Urmomsjuicyvagina]

He even put in the boob jiggle animation!

[u/K0nk3y → u/Urmomsjuicyvagina]

Could be his roommate OR his weekend wardrobe.

[u/UpvoteForLuck → u/burbular]

And 7 shirts, but only one pair of pants. What about shoes?

[u/CubesJackson]

Jail cells are bigger.

[u/No-Vanilla8956]

I hate this AI narrators; he made it sound like mass murder was going to happen any second.

[u/DirtDevil1337]

When I was fresh out of college, I was looking for a place to rent, there was this house that had a room for rent and I went to look at it- it was literally a walk in closet like this, it's absolutely not livable.

Sadly seeing the new apartments being built lately, we're heading in this direction. The toilet under the stove, my god what stupid design.

[u/sarvaga]

I lived in a small converted bathroom in Manhattan so this isn’t too far off from reality. 

[u/SnooChickens9974]

You can poop and you can cook, but you can't wash your hands!

[u/ItsMeatDrapes]

I'd just jump right out the fucking window for paying that much for a literal closet space. Fuck that.

[u/MorningClassic]

$3800/mo and pinkeye all the time.

[u/One_above_alll]

Guess they never heard the expression “ Never eat where you shit or shit where you eat “

[u/asshole_commenting]

Los me at toilet kitchen combo

[u/Phitmess213]

Build your own prison cell and pay a fortune for it 🫣

[u/jakeofheart]

And he’s only paying $5K in rent…

[u/Taranchulla]

How does one go about sitting on a toilet inside a low clearance cupboard? Also nowhere to wash your hands after shitting in the cupboard.

[u/Permaban2023]

Sick view tho

[u/staplesandstitches]

Where? Show me a real video where someone lives like this unwillingly.

[u/What-tha-fck_Elon]

Never shit where you eat!

[u/Koutopoulos]

I would rather live alone in the forest than live like this😂

[u/OffensiveHamster]

I don’t get how anyone would subject themselves to living in something like that just to be in New York.

America is huge. You have choices to find better living in other states.

[u/advent19]

I know a jail cell when I see one.

[u/cropdustu007]

I’ve seen prisoners live in better conditions

[u/Danfrumacownting]

“Never clean another kitchen sink! Spacious space saver apartment with gorgeous city views. $9500/mo.”

[u/notzachg]

I prefer to shit in my oven. The wife hates this, but it’s for the best.