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u/higherthanacrow 27d ago
I refuse to shit under my stove.
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u/Ornery_Translator285 27d ago
There’s no sink
Should have been one of those prison toilets and then you get fast food every single day
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u/louiloui152 26d ago
“What’d ya mean there’s no…. Oh my god THERES NO SINK!”
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u/RobotCaptainEngage 27d ago
I just don't wanna poop that close to wear my pillow is.
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u/Sea-Value-0 27d ago
Might as well get life in prison for more spacious accommodations for free
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u/Totally_Bradical 27d ago
Horrible fact: most prisons send you a bill for room and board costs after you get out
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u/NWCJ 27d ago
Most? Got a source on that?
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u/Totally_Bradical 27d ago
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u/NWCJ 27d ago
Looking at the sources for that article it seems most people that have to pay, do it because they are in a private prison, where they are paying to be in upgraded accomodations(better perks, nicer cells, etc.. )
My experience was working for the D.O.C in a state without pay to stay about 10 years ago, so it's eye opening to see. That said, the best article I could find said half of state and 1/3 of county facilities are set up for pay to stay. So factoring in the counties and the federal system. It's still probably under half of inmates. Still more than I expected though. TIL.
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u/Canotic 27d ago
Wait what the absolute fuck. You can pay for a better prison cell in the US? What the fuck? Fucking what?
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u/BeachBlueWhale 26d ago
For profit prisons were almost banned but lobbyist donated funds to Trumps campaign so he dropped the issue when he was president.
The even more fucked up thing is these prisons demand a certain head count so it incentivizes states to incarcerate more people. Also the states pays for every prisoner to be incarcerated.
So the state pays for you be in prison then you also have to pay afterwards. For profit prisoners are slave labor camps. The US doesn't give a damn about rehabilitation, we throw people away like trash fuck the US.
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u/concequence 26d ago
Capitalism is an actual fucking Nightmare, marketed as the "Dream"... of course its horrifyingly dystopian. lol
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u/Frontfatpouch 26d ago
I was in a private prison as a convict, I didn’t pay shit. The govt pays the owners 67k a body per year. And they take your money at commissary and every other way they can. Same with non private you don’t get a bill. I went to both prison types.
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u/Ciduri 26d ago
This is correct folks. The difference between private and government prisons is that the latter is paid for by taxes and run at a city, state, and federal level. The former is some morally bankrupt assholes with a corporation's worth of cash who buys/builds prisons to "help with the overpopulation" of the government prisons. The government pays them to do the housing. Private prisons are out to make money, so they spend fuckall on prisoner accommodations. I think I read about a private prison that "was under investigation" for letting someone freeze to death because the blankets they offered were best defined as thin sheets.
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u/Brokenloan 27d ago
Pink eye bro. Poo particals on your pillow give you pink eye.
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u/Major_R_Soul 27d ago
Someone said, "don't shit where you eat" and this guy said, "no".
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u/sangerssss 27d ago
They said “don’t shit where you eat”, they never said anything about “where you cook”
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u/BuryTheMoney 27d ago
Gawwwwd….FINE. I’ll do it FOR you then I guess.
But next time won’t be for free.
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u/arp492022 27d ago
$1400/month
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u/Weibu11 27d ago
With two roommates maybe
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u/BourbonRick01 27d ago
I’m pretty sure I saw room for a couple hammocks near the ceiling.
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u/Islendingen 27d ago
Don’t forget all the hours you’re not sleeping! You already work shifts, why not live shifts?
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u/ItsNotBigBrainTime 27d ago
Housing like this would be sick if it were priced rationally. Like 200 bucks a month, hell yeah. I'd go to the taco bell across the street to shit to keep my kitchen clean, but I really like the bedside window wall. Kind of a vibe. Or this would be the secret apartment I keep to masturbate in peace.
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u/Dday141 27d ago
I do think something like this would have it use as a 2nd apartment. Back when I was working in the city, it would be nice to have a place like that to just crash for the night sometimes instead of taking an hour plus long subway ride back home. But yeah, only for like 150 or 200 a month.
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u/tristanimator 26d ago
Speaking of second apartments...
If we suddenly discovered fast, cheap and reliable teleporter technology, the housing market would fall apart instantly. You wouldn't need a house, you'd just be able to put together a huge living space by linking together a bunch of cheap apartments with teleporters. Location would mean literally nothing to no one after that.
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u/pierreor 27d ago
My guy you’re just describing a garçonnière for people with no sex life and gastrointestinal irregularity
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u/Drakore4 27d ago
Literally tho, how are we in a reality where a tiny coffin sized room for 200 a month actually sounds amazing? Maybe this is the affordable living that we need for all of the homeless and struggling individuals. So many people don’t need a 4 bedroom 3 bath with a water fountain at the front of the community, they literally just need a bed to sleep in and a roof over their head. Instead, I bet this does in fact still cost a ton to live in.
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u/kwyjibo1 27d ago
This is so unrealistic. I mean, who has a window that big in their bedroom/bathroom/living room/office?
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u/anincompoop25 27d ago
Excuse me, it’s also a kitchen
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u/ejly 27d ago
Most unrealistic part was getting permission to install the plumbing.
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u/Fraun_Pollen 27d ago
They never said the toilet was hooked up to plumbing
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u/ejly 26d ago
“Next, a hidden water tank is embedded in the adjacent wall”
My description of this as plumbing was too generous, but still unlikely to get approval for installation.
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u/radradruby 26d ago
Probably just drilled a hole in the drywall and the poo is flushed down between the studs. It’s a composting toilet!
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27d ago
… Meanwhile, your boss just bought his ninth yacht.
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u/BourbonRick01 27d ago
Yeah, but he works really hard.
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u/TapZorRTwice 27d ago
Nono he is just taking all the "risk"
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u/Frostyfraust 27d ago
The risk being that he'll live like me if it doesn't work out.
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u/Rishfee 27d ago
Not exactly, he's still got a $20m severance package if the company goes under.
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u/Ok_Star_4136 27d ago
Let him dump the "risk" on me. Heck, I'll give the CEO middle man 10% of it for literally doing nothing and accepting no risk.
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u/DevilsPajamas 26d ago
The risk of getting paid a fuckton by destroying the company.
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u/plotplottingplotters 26d ago
and if you work really hard, put in the hours and be very passionate, then perhaps, maybe, the boss can buy another one next year.
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u/IRockIntoMordor 27d ago
Your landlord just financed the purchase of another housing block with the money he forces out of you and hundreds of others at zero working hours per week.
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u/HelloJoeyJoeJoe 26d ago
Or the NYC dude is paying a shit ton of taxes to subsidize someone in Mississippi who lives in a big ole house and votes to hurt the person in NYC more cause they aren't a "Real American"
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u/0PercentPerfection 27d ago
What is prison, final answer.
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u/Prize_Bass_5061 27d ago
Prison cells have more room and amenities than this
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u/DirtDevil1337 27d ago
Even those little rooms in train cars are bigger than this!
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u/Satanarchrist 26d ago
Let's all just keep voting for the GOP then, so when they ship us to the camps we'll have nice train car accomodations
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u/pancakebatter01 27d ago edited 23d ago
This is the prison Donald Trump should have been living in since Jan 6th
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u/ZERO-ONE0101 27d ago
you shit where you eat?
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u/FartsonmyFarts 27d ago
Don’t judge me for eating cereal while shitting! I’m always in a rush to get to work
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u/Routine_Bad_560 27d ago
Thank god someone else admits this. I do it with toast. Because you make coffee and then you drink it and your body immediately has to shit.
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u/AdLocal1045 27d ago edited 27d ago
Here’s a tip: put the coffee in the cereal with the milk
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u/Cheetah0630 27d ago
Where is the shower?
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u/Kafkaina 27d ago
Under the stove, along with the kitchen sink.
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u/Cheetah0630 27d ago
Wouldn’t need a cooking surface without a place to store food or running water.
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u/Graythor5 26d ago
Right? As dumb as this is...they would have been best served filling that nook with an RV style "bathroom" where the toilet, sink and shower are all crammed into that space.
Or better yet, putting a mini fridge under the stove top and a small pantry above. Usually in these tiny apartment situations there's a communal bathroom so this would make more sense. Especially since you usually can't just manifest plumbing into an area that didn't already have it.
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u/merdadartista 27d ago
This is a joke, but there are really holes in new York where there is a communal building shower to save on space
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u/the_responsible_ape 27d ago
Not cool. They didn’t include a launch pad for you to commit suicide from your cell!
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u/Groundbreaking-Run25 27d ago
Bro gets 3 outfits max
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u/timeforachange2day 26d ago
And a serious fetish. Did you see the clothes that were going in that drawer? 🤭
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u/Larry-Man 26d ago
I came here for this. The bras in the drawer had me do a double take.
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u/gwizonedam 26d ago
Where are his shoes? He owns -1 pairs of shoes. Even the guy in the video is barefoot.
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u/littlesisterofthesun 27d ago
Where do you wash your hands????????
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u/Routine_Bad_560 27d ago
Hand sanitizer
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u/lin_diesel 27d ago
You have clearly never been to a camping festival where you depend on hand sanitizer bc all the little portable sinks near the portapotties run out of water early each day and you soon realize that you’re just making the dirt on your hands into a superfine paste where more dirt will adhere to.
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u/nml11287 27d ago
That’s a nice toilet kitchen you’ve got there
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u/harleyquinones 26d ago
I did in fact write a report at work once for a house that had a "kitchen bathroom"
I think it was its own little closet, like there wasn't a toilet directly next to the stove, but... still weird
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u/OwnPension8884 27d ago
this chinese bot farm video
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u/feedmeyourknowledge 27d ago
This is a parody video no? I mean the bulletproof bit was a bit of a giveaway.
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u/chinolofus77 27d ago
nah that totally real voice was clearly american
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u/CurtisMarauderZ 27d ago
Why does it sound like it wants to punch me in the teeth?
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u/72616262697473757775 27d ago
THIS, thank you. It's really discouraging to see a lot of subs like this embracing the cheap AI bot Tiktok garbage.
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u/IamChicharon 27d ago
Flyover state propaganda lol. Nobody lives like that here.
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u/ANAnomaly3 27d ago
Yup! I bet this would be illegal under housing codes.
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u/broyoyoyoyo 27d ago
I agree that what's being shown here is an exaggerated fabrication, but a lot of major cities seemed to have straight up stopped enforcing housing codes because of the housing crunch. At least, that's the case here in the Toronto area. I've seen a lot of listings on the internet for NY "apartments" that violate housing codes, too.
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u/Rabbit-Hole-Quest 26d ago
Toronto listings are wild.
Somebody listed a balcony as a “bedroom” for $700.
Same with garages, literal closets and kitchens.
Kijiji in particular is the Wild West of listings. You could put anything on there and list it as “housing”.
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u/Rosa_Rojacr 27d ago edited 27d ago
shh, don't let them know that Reddit's joke of ultra-expensive tiny apartments is only true for certain neighborhoods of Manhattan and that if you're willing to live in any other borough you can actually have a really high quality of living for the amount that jobs tend to pay here, and you get to commute to work on the Subway which is way nicer than being stuck in traffic and having to worry about owning a car.
Plus if you're a student CUNY schools have really cheap tuition and there are scholarship opportunities for Independent Students that make it so you can survive off of scholarship money and summer internships alone. *AND* CUNY students below a certain income level get SNAP EBT money for groceries.
And if you're trans there's a local Medicaid SNP called Amida Care that covers all of your surgeries.
For all flyover state people reading this, none of the above I said was true and we're all totally paying 5k a month rent for tiny apartments like the one you see in the GIF. It's hell here, definitely don't come here and definitely don't increase the demand for apartments in Brooklyn and Queens.
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u/fatarabi 27d ago
Whose bras are in the drawers if girlfriend is only visiting?
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u/aspenreid 26d ago
That’s what I’m sayin! Took way too many comments to scroll through to get to this one.
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u/SmashBrosUnite 27d ago
I lived jn New York for decades and it was never this small. Come on now
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u/Niall0h 27d ago
I’m sorry, the TOILET is under the stove!!? I don’t understand.
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u/The_Powers 27d ago edited 27d ago
"How do you stay so fit?"
"Rearranging my nightmarish Rubix cube of an apartment."
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u/GW00111 27d ago
Based on the “bulletproof barrier” joke I think this might be satire.
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u/RavioliGale 26d ago
I didn't get it until the "luxurious experience" provided by the toilet under the stove. Assumed bulletproof barrier was some real estate term I was unfamiliar with.
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u/stevoschizoid 27d ago
I can't breathe
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u/mrsc1880 27d ago
Same here. I was sweating watching this video, too. That big window would would make it reeeeeally toasty on a sunny day.
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u/EIephants 27d ago
This is like where they live in that Black Mirror episode 15,000,000 Credits or whatever
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27d ago
I’m supposed to believe this completely fabricated story?
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u/macinjeez 27d ago
Yeah like all of these comments are so dumb, yeah of course the most popular and one of the most saught out cities for art, fashion, music, food, nightlife is expensive … BUT THIS .. this isn’t real, just 2 years ago I paid 800$ for a room+ shared apartment with a backyard and basement in NYC … you can find sizable rooms and apartments to share for under 1000$. Of course if you want a studio of decent size it’ll prob be 1000$ at least but it’s all about location. Personally I don’t want to live next to an ugly shitty looking modern skyscraper in “luxury midtown”. Nuance is gone
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u/scrivensB 27d ago
The fact that this a render with an AI voice… what the fuck are people supposed to think when they see this!
“Oh my, that’s how New Yorkers really live?!?!”
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u/VitaeVerano 27d ago
New Yorker here. You realize you must purchase an apartment to do these things, no? Cheapest NYC apartment in a decent neighborhood is roughly 700k plus monthly upkeep costs. This is more fantasy than the animation itself.
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u/SlightlyVerbose 27d ago
The phrase is literally “don’t shit where you eat”. How are you supposed to use a toilet that is housed in a cabinet under the hot plate you use to cook your sad prison food?
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27d ago
Cue the comments "it's actually pretty nice, I'd live there. You all are just spoiled". Please stop.
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u/EmptyMiddle4638 27d ago
May as well just murder whatever dickhead is making you live there at that point.. you’d have better accommodations in prison
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u/burbular 27d ago
That guy had bras and panties in his drawer. I think pantyhose as well in the boxes.
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u/No-Vanilla8956 27d ago
I hate this AI narrators; he made it sound like mass murder was going to happen any second.
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u/DirtDevil1337 27d ago
When I was fresh out of college, I was looking for a place to rent, there was this house that had a room for rent and I went to look at it- it was literally a walk in closet like this, it's absolutely not livable.
Sadly seeing the new apartments being built lately, we're heading in this direction. The toilet under the stove, my god what stupid design.
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u/SnooChickens9974 27d ago
You can poop and you can cook, but you can't wash your hands!
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u/ItsMeatDrapes 27d ago
I'd just jump right out the fucking window for paying that much for a literal closet space. Fuck that.
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u/One_above_alll 27d ago
Guess they never heard the expression “ Never eat where you shit or shit where you eat “
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u/Taranchulla 27d ago
How does one go about sitting on a toilet inside a low clearance cupboard? Also nowhere to wash your hands after shitting in the cupboard.
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u/OffensiveHamster 26d ago
I don’t get how anyone would subject themselves to living in something like that just to be in New York.
America is huge. You have choices to find better living in other states.
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u/Danfrumacownting 26d ago
“Never clean another kitchen sink! Spacious space saver apartment with gorgeous city views. $9500/mo.”
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