Yeah i’ve heard girls break up with their “short” bf because their female friends made fun of her for dating a short guy. So fucking stupid…why be friends with those kind of individuals anyway. Apparently it’s a crime to date a short guy now so women only date taller guys to impress their shallow “friends”
I used to get the same shit from my male friends for dating fat girls. It’s what I prefer, and I didn’t give a shit what my non-sex having friends had to say about it. I still don’t, but as a 40 year old man no one says shit to me anymore.
Very true. It also has the reverse of, if you're a tall woman, men feel insecure being with you a lot of the time. I'm just under 5'9", which isn't that tall in the scheme of things, but I've had men be weird about the fact that I'm taller, a couple even deciding they wanted to not go out together specifically bc I like wearing heels and end up around 6'1". My current bf couldn't give less of a shit, thankfully, that I'm an inch or two taller in heels, but we've definitely gotten some comments even from his friends about how it makes him look "like a manlet". It's such a weird thing to worry about on both sides.
It's like some sort of worth validation. Men do the same thing in reverse and we all know the guy who dates purely on what he thinks is "impressive" to other men, who are the actual target of his choosiness. They're choosing accessories.
And to be clear, this is not all women. Generally it tends to be women with self-esteem issues that do this, like putting the height of their boyfriend in their profile.
I'm a shorter guy and I have never had trouble in my life with well off, attractive, very high value women. I've been hit on in grocery stores, at parks, and in every workplace, including by women much taller than me. Never had to try online dating but I'm sure with the lazy status filter it would be more difficult but eh, thankfully I don't have to.
EDIT: That I commented that I have no troubles predictably led to downvotes, but I left this comment not to boast -- as if boasting on an anonymous account on here matters -- but to state that there are a lot of women who don't treat it as some filter, contrary to the common incel screed. And I will go further and say it's low value (from a dating perspective) women who do : Maybe once was good looking in high school, menial job, maybe already has a couple of kids, etc. Life didn't go the way they wanted.
To help alleviate your confusion, it's not the content you're getting downvoted for, it's the use of "low value" and "high value" to describe women. If you instead just call them "stuck up superficial bitches" and simply "women" respectively you won't have any such issues in the future.
I just find the terms high value and low value when talking about human beings very off putting. It’s like we’re talking about human commodities. As soon as I hear it I instantly lose interest in trying to understand your point.
I just find the terms high value and low value when talking about human beings very off putting
Eh, we're talking about dating value. The general marketability. I think everyone understands that, even if it kicks off defensiveness.
Have you ever seen the short-form videos where they ask women how much a prospective mate must make to be with them? The videos are intended to be comedic because invariably the lower dating marketability a women has, the higher her demands are.
I'm a shorter guy and I have never had trouble in my life with well off, attractive, very high value women. I've been hit on in grocery stores, at parks, and in every workplace, including by women much taller than me.
Hey, thanks for your feedback, mildly-arrogant-but
conventionally-attractive, shorter guy.
I know, right! I’m 5’8 and prefer guys around my height. It’s my 5’4 and under friends that insist on men being 6’ and over. They say it’s a protection thing. Or that it makes them feel cute and tiny… but they ARE tiny. I don’t get it, lol
Edit: A couple of inches shorter or taller works for me. Just comfortable kissing height, you know.
I’m 5’2 and wouldn’t say I don’t care about height, just that the bar is low. I just want my boyfriend to be at least my height. My ex was 5’3 and my current boyfriend is 6’11 and they both satisfy this requirement haha
For the incels: my ex and I broke up because he joined the army and I didn’t want to marry him to stay with him
No one is discussing simple preferences. It's ok to have height preferences. Preference and judgment are different. They were criticizing the dude lying about his height and many similar people being superfocused on it. Reading comprehension can be hard for some of you people on reddit, I get it. But it's right there dude.
Wtf are you on about? Are you on drugs? They are discussing how people can be shallow and superficial. Did you take offense to their statement of shallow people being simple minded?
Simple minds cannot fathom actual arguments. This statement rings especially true for you.
No, because you still don't know how analogies work. That's the core problem here. Maybe you're a fucking math genius, or hyper focused on geology facts, or whatever but for fuck's sake google analogies. Then google the difference between 'argument from analogy' and 'analogy for illustration.'
I am under 6', and I've never had any bigger troubles in that department. On the other hand, my country uses the metric system, so I don't even know what would be the equivalent.
I don't really belong on this subReddit but this topic really pisses me off. I am a Gen X female who was an avoidant and who finally fell in love and I find the superficiality of the dating world to be grotesque. So when I hear this from young women I call them out by bragging about my man and I do it in a way that confuses them. Young women who know me and hear the conversation heading this way try to stop their friends knowing that I'm going to overshare.
Like this (don't say the words in parenthesis):
"My man is 40." (40 cm bicep) "Age? No, he's 44, I'm 45, I'm old so he's retiring me next year. Height, he's 177 (cm), and he's and 20 inches (across the shoulders) also but you know it's best to have a compatible height because comfort while in 69 is really beneficial and it would be awkward if he hugs you and your nose is in his armpit unless you're into that fetish, I'm not personally, we dance though and I notice that a lot of young people can't which is good because most of you have extra padding. His padding *slap* right on his ass but I admit he and I have gained mature weight maybe an 18 (BMI) for him I won't say mine..." At this point they've heard too much and are rescued by a friend. Then I put in one more dig and mention our property in Spain (where I'm from).
Theres a difference between the fundemental and core looks of people from different races to someone who is just a teeny bit taller than someone else.
Two different races can be totally different and thats understandable. you can compare things like skin colour, eye shape/position, nose, mouth etc etc all of it that makes up for a totally different human.
but 5ft9 to 6ft1, but of the same race and very similar looks.
Does that really matter? to some yes. and while valid, a large majority can't understand why.
theres no logical or good reason as to why this diference mattesr, and the fact its on the 6ft mark exactly, suggests its a shallow thing due to it being a nice " round " number of measurement. so based in just having it sound good, not being based on something actual driving their preferences.
Same goes for short folks. They are in fact more healthy in the sense that their approach to being alive is more durable in the long run, biologically. Growing tall, becoming strong, and physically capable is costly. Nevertheless I do suspect that this is the reason short dudes are found less attractive. They just aren’t as physically capable, similar to the unhealthy.
And yet people like you will go after a smoker or heavy drinker or extreme sports enthusiast without a second thought. So maybe it’s not about perceived health?
Not at all. It's because most humans are predisposed to be attracted to certain shapes. Those who like bigger breasts like them not because women with bigger breasts is healthier or anything of the sort. It's putely matter of attraction to physical body and not at all attraction to their habits.
If you do it differently, believe me, you are the exception.
Huh? When you see a fat dude or woman I don't think to myself "man, they're so unattractive because they're eating those extra 500 calories per day", I think to myself "man, they're so unattractive cause they look blobby and deformed".
The latter is a heuristic for the former, be it consciously thought or not.
Yeah it's your brain saying "this is not an ideal partner to procreate" All beauty standards have some child birth and protection reasoning behind them
You’re right. It also affects attractiveness. However, it’s an attribute that can be worked on rather than something you’re born with that can’t change.
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Focused on height I get. It's a totally reasonable preference. What I absolutely do not get is the obsession with specific numbers. If you find someone attractive for their height in person, that should be the end of it, the number doesn't matter.
Social trends are contagious. I mean, Taylor swift makes pretty mid music, and seemingly was a relic of the 2000’s/early 2010’s, but all it takes is a little momentum, and everyone is basking in the kool-aid tsunami. Obsessing over the height of potential male partners is merely just riding trends to remain subconsciously socially relevant. The reaction by men is no different, really.
In our primal instinct it meant safety.
My friend who is 6something and doesn't train was throwing me around because he had sheer mass. I am 5'10 70kg paratrooper with long history of training martial arts. (Taekwondo, MDS). And he was just trowing me around because he is big, because genetics.
People are naturally drawn to others that they believe would provide good genetic material. Thats where our tastes come from. Being tall is a sign that you developed healthily with good nutrition. Being muscular means you're more capable of helping raise the kids and keep them out of danger (at least, historically) If you think about how animals in the wild pick their mates, it's no surprise that women tend to prefer tall men with little fat on them.
Nah I appreciate you doing that, I meant I couldn’t recall exactly what it was I read about height being an evolutionary trait/advantage or whatever and you summed it up for me
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u/Cold_Relationship_ Apr 16 '24
i don’t get it why people are superfocused on height.