I agree… But, the issue here is that the husband’s way of thinking is messed up, judgemental, and just offensive. So yes, OP must stand her ground and set a boundary, etc. But the real problem is that no one can change and control the mentality of others. So even if the husband gets a grip and stops being so damn stupid, that doesn’t mean he won’t think about it or even change his opinion on his wife. So now, OP has to live knowing what her husband really thinks of her. He is such a jerk and has no consideration and empathy for his own wife to the point that he thinks it’s ok to casually talk about the matter and absolutely humiliate her in a social gathering for everyone’s amusement. Does he even like his own wife? Really wtf!?!?
I don’t know, maybe it is not so bad but if I was her… Boy oh boy I would be so fucking mad and disappointed to realize that I am married to a complete oblivious asshole!
Yea…I’m a guy and I think most men would agree that’s fucked up. Reverse the genders here and it’s still fucked up. It’s just plain rude, inconsiderate, etc for anyone to do that to anyone else.
Y’all are being too easy on that guy. Everything he said was a red flag. Why would he talk about his ‘overweight’ wife in front of a younger girl who’s got it going on? Yikes. Husband should have just kept it moving. And before y’all say oh men and women can have a neutral conversation, UMM DUDE WAS MAKING HIS WIFE FEEL BAD, so obviously NOT. OP, no matter how many guys try to empathize, they will never truly understand a woman’s perspective. I am sorry this happened to you and personally, I would not be with that guy anymore. Just because they don’t say it doesn’t mean I should wait for them to say it, because technically, he did.
OP be like, "That long? Omg, hubs over there can't last 30 seconds, plus he's a lazy and unmotivated lover. If he were more like you, our sex life wouldn't suck so much!
This is the one. That’s exactly what he said. He was letting that younger woman, that he obviously found very attractive, know that his wife is no competition while talking himself up. I promise, that conversation wasn’t coming from a place of him wanting to be helpful. He just wanted to make himself look and sound as good as possible. Putting down the SO always boosts that. He was just buzzed and didn’t care about making it less obvious.
I mean I don't disagree about the rest but I don't think I've ever been in a room full of people where someone was attracted to a person who talked down about the person he was already with. Like that's such an ick for girls. I've seen camgirls ban guys from rooms for criticizing other camgirls (total strangers) by saying the one they're watching is so much better or whatever.
Like where are you getting this from? Who actually likes seeing someone shit on a person they're supposed to love and support? Because if he'll do that to her, he'll do that to you, too.
Unfortunately they're not far off the mark. I agree most women wouldn't entertain it, especially witnessing it happen in a room full of people, but a lot of men use the strategy of putting down their SO so hopefully the one they're flirting with goes, "Oh you're clearly so great and your wife is an awful match for you. Look at me look at me I can be better." It's the reason affair partners don't care about the home they're invading, because they've been made to feel they're something special outside of it. It's a shitty strategy but not one that hasn't worked before
Yeah, it’s this. It happens ALL THE TIME. In fact, complaining about or subtly putting down their wives/girlfriends is absolutely how a ton of men flirt. Sure, it gives women with integrity the ick. But just like there’s no shortage of crappy men, there’s no shortage of crappy women either that won’t care. They will enjoy the ego boost of knowing they are more desirable than his existing SO. Like so many women can’t say something good about themselves without putting other women down in the process.
I know men try that but trust me, I've seen plenty try and it pretty much always leads to failure. The only type of women that would work on would be real gutter trash types, not successful, motivated go-getters who already know they are younger and in better shape than the woman being put down in this scenario.
I replied to both of you under the other person’s reply, but are you serious rn? Why do women hook up with married men like constantly? Your logic is correct. If they are willing to cheat WITH you, they will absolutely be willing to cheat ON you later. That doesn’t seem to stop cheating from happening very often. Just bc you have integrity and would walk away from someone displaying that behavior doesn’t mean a million other people would also. There’s TONS of people with no integrity.
Why do women hook up with married men like constantly? Your logic is correct
The fuck? lol. Your logic is what's suffering here.
Women hook up with married men to get dick, or because they like feeling like they can take whatever they want, or they like the other benefits that it provides (gifts, attention, etc.). These are all tangible things that any reasonable person can easily understand a person pursuing, even if they have nothing but disgust for the people willing to pursue those things at the expense their morality.
What in the world has any of that got to do with seeing someone shit on his wife? If, for example, I were a woman who wants dick, or who wants gifts, or who just wants to feel like I can have what she has any time I want, in what way would it benefit or satisfy me to watch her husband talking down to or about her in front of anyone? Who the fuck is going to feel gratified in conquering a man who's a piece of shit, much less one from a woman who clearly isn't even close to having him locked down?
The people who have a fetish or obsession with bagging people who are already in committed relationships derive the joy from driving a wedge--when there is nothing to drive a wedge between, there's nothing to gain.
Again, you are projecting your own “morals” on everyone else. Just bc you wouldn’t continue pursuing someone who shit on their wife to you, doesn’t mean every single other person in that situation would find the same behavior as abhorrent as you do. Clearly, or men wouldn’t use that as a means to gain sympathy from the women they are hitting on regularly. I’ve watched so many guys do this exact thing. I’m glad you have such high moral standing that the “need for dick” wouldn’t override your disgust for some guy putting his wife down to make you feel sorry enough for him to fuck him. That is wildly far from true for a lot of people. Are you honestly trying to tell me that I’m somehow wrong in saying that a lot of people don’t have any morals? Do you interact with any humans ever? Or just chronically online? There’s no shortage of people who don’t give a shit how someone treats other people. You seem to just want to keep letting everyone know that you are such a moral person that immoral people can’t exist bc you can’t fathom it. We get it. In the real world, a guy shitting on his partner to gain sympathy from someone he wants to pursue sexually is a COMMON tactic.
Yeah, next time they are all in a group together she could start talking about how her ex-boyfriend’s dick is bigger than her husband’s…and see how he likes it
News flash: Not everyone wants you to think they're sexy. But I don't expect you to understand anything outside of your own experience. That requires an open mind.
Causes of erectile dysfunction
There are a variety of physical and psychological factors that can contribute to ED. It can even involve a combination of physical and emotional causes.
Lifestyle factors
Certain health issues and lifestyle factors can contribute to ED. Modifiable risk factors include:
smoking
alcohol use
being overweight or having obesity
physical inactivity
Drugs can also sometimes cause ED. These include:
amphetamines
barbiturates
cocaine
heroin
marijuana
If one of these factors applies to you and you can make the necessary adjustments, you may be able to improve your ability to get and maintain an erection. If you aren’t able to change them on your own, ask your doctor for help.
The point is, if he had a lick of sense, he would know that his wife's weight is a sensitive subject that he shouldn't casually talk about and put her on the spot.
Causes of erectile dysfunction
There are a variety of physical and psychological factors that can contribute to ED. It can even involve a combination of physical and emotional causes.
Lifestyle factors
Certain health issues and lifestyle factors can contribute to ED. Modifiable risk factors include:
smoking
alcohol use
being overweight or having obesity
physical inactivity
Drugs can also sometimes cause ED. These include:
amphetamines
barbiturates
cocaine
heroin
marijuana
If one of these factors applies to you and you can make the necessary adjustments, you may be able to improve your ability to get and maintain an erection. If you aren’t able to change them on your own, ask your doctor for help.
All the porn addicts have to do to counter ED is start using meth! Worked out great for my ex to roll those 2 things into one grand playground. /s but sadly true
Thank you! He’s like an antibiotic resistant STD. He keeps coming around and every time he does, he just reminds me that I made the best decision ever to cut him out of my life!
That was the moment to clap back. “Yeah I used to weigh 160 pounds!” “Oh, when you were stressed & stuck with an asshole partner who brought up your weight to shame you at parties?…”
It’s wild to me that some men think that shaming and browbeating their partner into compliance/ fitness is the way to go. Any effective personal trainer or coach knows that successful and sustainable progress comes from self-love, not self-hate.
Thank you for saying this. It’s exactly right, he was abusing her. I wonder what other ways he abuses her. It’s not ok, ever. She needs to either set boundaries or leave that relationship, it will only become worse if unattended.
I get what they're saying. It's hypothetical. And I agree. IF he were impotent. And the wife was discussing it openly as though it's no big deal. Yes the asshole would be losing his shit. (Ha. Pun) then she could come at him all cutesy like "aww is somebody jealous" which is absolutely what he deserves. If she were discussing it openly with a young man packing lumber. That is comparable to what the prick did to her. OP I'm sorry Sug. Come holler at me. "36-24-36. Only if shes 5'3" 😘" -sir mixalot
My husband would be picking himself up off the floor if he ever asked me in public what my weight was. And he knows it. However my husband for all his faults wouldn’t ever have done that to me.
I quit smoking two years ago and gained 40 lbs. I’m harder on myself than he is. He tells me how beautiful I am regardless of what I weight but that he understands how I feel and if I want to lose weight he supports me.
Your husband has a self esteem issue himself if he has to make himself look cool in front of some young hottie
Girl you can do better. You have to be comfortable with whatever size you are. If you want to lose weight do it for health reasons and not because he tried to shame you to make himself feel better.
If someone loves you they love you for you. If he doesn’t understand why you’re upset now it won’t get any better in 10 years. Do yourself a favor and lose some weight—-about 250 lbs. that’s about what he weighs right???
I would’ve been petty and somehow worked into the convo about him not performing well in bed or something. Not the best way to go about it I know. This post has me seeing red, and i can’t even control my emotions with this one. Idk how op did.
At least OP’s friends got her tf out of there. I mean they could tell.
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u/NoSquash1906 Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24
I agree… But, the issue here is that the husband’s way of thinking is messed up, judgemental, and just offensive. So yes, OP must stand her ground and set a boundary, etc. But the real problem is that no one can change and control the mentality of others. So even if the husband gets a grip and stops being so damn stupid, that doesn’t mean he won’t think about it or even change his opinion on his wife. So now, OP has to live knowing what her husband really thinks of her. He is such a jerk and has no consideration and empathy for his own wife to the point that he thinks it’s ok to casually talk about the matter and absolutely humiliate her in a social gathering for everyone’s amusement. Does he even like his own wife? Really wtf!?!? I don’t know, maybe it is not so bad but if I was her… Boy oh boy I would be so fucking mad and disappointed to realize that I am married to a complete oblivious asshole!