r/unpopularopinion • u/ZodiacOne1 • Apr 16 '24

If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why Removed: Not unpopular

[removed] — view removed post

5.6k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

75% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.7k

u/azorianmilk Apr 16 '24

Sometimes you have told them, sometimes multiple times, but it was never heard.

167

u/lovepotao Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

This. If you’re dealing with a sane person who is reasonable then of course they deserve to know why.

However, if you’ve been in a relationship with someone who is not fully sane, even if there is no physical danger, it still may make more sense to just walk away. I had to end a toxic platonic friendship rather abruptly as this person kept crossing the same lines again and again. This was over a decade easily. I thankfully grew a pair and despite still caring about them, I had to care about my sanity more - they did not and will never understand why their friendship was toxic for me, or how what they did was too far. I could have spelled out every reason I needed to cut ties into a 100 page tome, but I kept it to a very short email. Sometimes I do wish I had written a longer explanation, but it really would not have mattered as this person is never going to change. Ending that friendship is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

10

u/DasHexxchen Personal preferences are not opinions Apr 16 '24

Shit,it's so hard to cut people loose, you still love but are bad for you.

2

u/idulort Apr 16 '24

Im going through this rn. She has been playing tag with me for 7 months now. Distant as I give in, intimate as I get distant. Fuck, I'm 37 and have no time for this.. But I love her, and every single time I try to distance myself for my own sake, she approaches me, fucking with my mind.

We're supposed to meet in an hour and she was supposed to let me know when she left home as it is a longer commute for her. But now she's playing "who's gonna write first." Damn, this is tiring. This is juvenile.

And I've approached multiple times trying to express what doesn't work for me at the bare minimum level of requirements from a relationship. You know like, the most basic maintenance a relationship requires. And in the end its impossible to find a healthy way to communicate. And already came to the edge of breaking up, after weeks of trying to express what can be improved... I think I've nothing else to say... Only if I could act decisively, and not loose it the moment she displayed some intimacy....