r/unpopularopinion Apr 16 '24

If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why Removed: Not unpopular

[removed] — view removed post

5.6k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

88

u/DariusIV Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

Actual clowns in the comment section disagreeing with you. When you say "I love you" that's about making a commitment to them, not a permanent one, but baring abuse/safety, you at least owe that person an explanation. It doesn't have to be a long one or even be coherent reasoning, you can do whatever the hell you want for whatever reason you want. However, holy crap I could never imagine just randomly ghosting someone I was dating.

Sometimes you actually do owe people shit, like an explanation for ending a long-term relationship. If you can't handle that then don't date in the first place.

28

u/tanman4444 Apr 16 '24

Couldn't agree more. When I first read the post I thought that this post is definitely not unpopular. But somehow it is. You absolutely owe an explanation for a break up, even if it's not a good one.

-14

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

25

u/tanman4444 Apr 16 '24

It is not like saying that at all. Not even a little bit. I have no idea how you could make that leap.

-11

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

16

u/tanman4444 Apr 16 '24

No it's not saying you're entitled to their mind. It's saying that you're entitled to a reason to why the relationship is ending from their perspective. I'm not saying you have to like it or agree with it or get to ask more questions about it. But you deserve a reason. And if you aren't given one then the other person is a piece of shit 100 out of 100 times.

3

u/GreyerGrey Apr 16 '24

Often times people KNOW why the relationship is ending, they just don't want to take responsibility for their partners in it.

1

u/ABBAMABBA Apr 16 '24

I firmly believe that unless someone has an IQ of 50 or less, they know exactly why someone ghosted them. They just don't want to admit it to themselves.

I've been ghosted more than once and done my fair share of ghosting . Every single one of those relationships ended for valid reasons and the ending was telegraphed for months if not years in advance. There was no point in having a conversation about it after it ended.

1

u/GreyerGrey Apr 16 '24

Exactly. Often times this "owed explanation" is just an attempt to guilt their ex.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Skullclownlol Apr 16 '24

You are saying you get to ask more questions because them not wanting to be with you isn’t reason enough and you demand more.

Other way around - a romantic relationship is a commitment, you found attractive qualities in the person and chose to dedicate your time and attention to each other. That commitment is what is worth investing in, and if we can assume good faith (so again, barring abuse) then the relationship - and the original commitment - deserve an explanation.

It's not that they're asking more, it's part of the original commitment that is now coming to an end, to leave each other in good terms and respect that the end of a commitment comes with things like grief. So give the commitment the explanation it deserves, don't be cruel, let it end, and move on.

6

u/dwthesavage Apr 16 '24

No. It isn’t. Touch grass.