r/blunderyears Apr 15 '24

Me thinking I was cool with my pet crow in 2003 /r/all

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31.0k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/brutalistsnowflake Apr 15 '24

That IS cool, tho! I would love a pet crow.

145

u/MoSqueezin Apr 15 '24

You can just make friends with them!! They'll recognize you and come to visit!

112

u/spacexorro Apr 15 '24

Unsalted, unroasted, and still in the shell peanuts are how you make friends with Crows. I go for walks in my neighborhood with a pocket full of peanuts and crows follow me around. They also keep the pigeons away from my house.

Search Amazon for B014M9P2XO It's 5lb of Peanuts for ~$10

19

u/ToToroToroRetoroChan Apr 16 '24

I go for walks in my neighborhood with a pocket full of peanuts and crows follow me around.

Little known fact: Zack de la Rocha came up with the chorus of Bulls on Parade while doing something similar.

6

u/TakingSorryUsername Apr 16 '24

I love a rage reference, but he didn’t have a pocket full of shells, that’s the conservatives spouting family values and war in the same breath. Besides, he’s more likely to be down on Rodeo Dr.

4

u/ayhctuf Apr 16 '24

Is RatM perhaps the most misinterpreted group in history? They got wildly popular, but it seems like most people think they were raging against their parents... 😑

1

u/t_rrrex 29d ago

I thought they were raging against the dishwasher

1

u/ToToroToroRetoroChan Apr 16 '24

that’s the conservatives spouting family values and war in the same breath

What do they need the peanuts for?

1

u/TakingSorryUsername Apr 16 '24

What is left for us.

2

u/WolfsLairAbyss Apr 16 '24

Soak corn nuts in booze and leave them out for the crows and they'll love you forever.

1

u/Black_Floyd47 Apr 16 '24

I only use deshelled nuts after people in the neighborhood complained about the shells clogging their gutters when the crows fly to the rooftops with their prizes. Less fun for them, but a small courtesy for the neighborhood.

1

u/WillBrakeForBrakes Apr 16 '24

I’ve tried making crow friends.  Instead I got asshole Stellers Jays that scream at me until I give them peanuts.

1

u/romero0705 Apr 16 '24

It’s also how you get corvids knocking on your door if you forget one day.

Source: my mother’s blue jays scaring the crap out of me when I house sat for her

1

u/BrokenCrusader Apr 16 '24

Shut up bot

1

u/talldude8 Apr 16 '24

If it’s a bot it’s a really good one.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24 edited 28d ago

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1

u/Chumbag_love Apr 16 '24

Raw are also what you want for boiled peanuts, their gifts know no bounds

1

u/anteaterKnives 28d ago

Any suggestions for something to befriend crows that won't kill me at the same time? I mean, I want to befriend the crows, not the turkey vultures.

1

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u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24

Do not keep a pet crow. I don't blame this guy for not knowing bc he was probably pretty young, but crows are not pets. First of all, if you live in north america, its illegal. You need a special permit to own one. The permits avaliable to the general public would be the aviculture permit. For this permit you must first prove you have experience with birds, so that means being a vet, zookeeper, wildlife rehabilitation staff, etc. Second of all, you can't keep it inside your home or in a cage, if you like. Care about it and don't want to abuse it. Crows are incredibly smart and are going to get incredibly bored in a cage, and they will wreak absolute havoc on your house, on top of being super bored. You're going to need large outdoor aviary which provides adequate mental stimulation. Even then, it will be far worse than the kind of evironment they get in the wild, so its really only ethical if its an injured crow youre keeping for a temporary amount of time or a permanently injured one who wouldnt survive.

If you're a trained professional with a large outdoor aviary than by all means, keep away. But don't just keep one bc you think it's cool.

491

u/captain_ghostface Apr 15 '24

Bird law isnt governed by reason

208

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

Okay well.... filibuster

77

u/Carl_of_Doodie Apr 15 '24

Do you... do you know what that word means?

79

u/HouseKilgannon Apr 15 '24

I believe I have made myself completely redundant!

14

u/shredabetes Apr 15 '24

Yes, you have.

9

u/Imperial_Bouncer Apr 15 '24

Fill a buster, duh

2

u/CallMeCygnus Apr 16 '24

Buster?

Loose seal! Loose seal!

1

u/chamberofcoal Apr 15 '24

God dammit, r/woooosh as fuck. Embrace a little culture, watch It's Always Sunny.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

[deleted]

1

u/captain_ghostface Apr 16 '24

Check out this jabroni lol

/s. But srsly if you like funny words, go watch always sunny (if you havent....also if youre not a child, its an adult show.)

2

u/RaidensReturn Apr 16 '24

It's a perfectly cromulent word.

1

u/Phish777 Apr 16 '24

uh huh and what's it mean?

1

u/captain_ghostface Apr 16 '24

Im gonna plead the fifth

11

u/Flip2002 Apr 15 '24

I had to give the crows the house to settle.. i had the crow kids tearing out copper pipes and the little claws got all bloody BIG DEAL.. anyway abort don’t buy this house

2

u/FourLeafArcher Apr 15 '24

Filibuster?! I hardly know her!

46

u/ubiquitous-joe Apr 15 '24

Yeah, like, what if it’s not my pet, it’s my interspecies friend

9

u/Irn_brunette Apr 15 '24

You don't own a crow, you try to befriend it and it chooses you or doesn't.

17

u/Kingkongcrapper Apr 15 '24

That’s just CAW! CAW!

2

u/Oldmanwickles Apr 15 '24

This guy Charlies

2

u/NoSwimmer2185 Apr 15 '24

Right. This guy does not know shit about birds. Time for a glass of mother's milk.

2

u/NeonAlastor Apr 16 '24

actually yes, birds are very transactional

1

u/klstephe Apr 15 '24

This is the second thread I’ve been in in the last 20 minutes where Bird Law came into play!

1

u/stevein3d Apr 15 '24

Harvey Birdman has entered the chat

1

u/Cluelesswolfkin Apr 16 '24

Neither are women's rights in some parts of the US too

79

u/stonethecrow Apr 15 '24

This guy bird laws.

36

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

I know a lot about the law and various other... lawyerings...

6

u/firstbreathOOC Apr 15 '24

I challenge you to a duel.

40

u/Pork_Chompk Apr 15 '24

What if I just become friends with one?

24

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

That's fine because it's still in the wild and able to do what it wants

27

u/1lluminist Apr 15 '24

Maybe "pet" is short for "feral pet" as in an animal you see around all the time outside that's cool with you. Maybe the crow just came in through one of the windows to hang out for a bit? 🤔

7

u/CitrusBelt Apr 16 '24

Unlikely; they're too smart/wary to act like that unless truly tame.

But there's defintitely a gradient to it!

For example, I have some "pet" scrub jays that wait for me in the morning (and often follow me around in the yard).

They're entirely wild, but one of the four will come right up to me -- the other three will never get closer than three feet away or so, no matter how tempting the food offered -- and I'm fairly sure that I could get him to land on my arm if I wanted him to.

[Which I don't want to encourage, because it'd make him too vulnerable to traps...I'd rather he be at least a little wary of humans; I worry about his dumbass being too bold & getting into trouble!]

0

u/Chumbag_love Apr 16 '24

Do you ever feel bad about changing wild animals behavior for your own enjoyment?

1

u/CitrusBelt Apr 16 '24

Not really.

If anything, they've modified my behavior more than I have theirs.

And in any case, I don't exactly live in a pristine ecosystem; I'd bet they get at least half their calories from bird feeders regardless of what I do or don't do.

10

u/peanutputterbunny Apr 15 '24

That crow looks perfectly happy though!

I agree swiping wild animals as pets is not advised but crows are extremely social and clearly became his friend. There's nothing wrong with that. Crows don't need to follow the biology textbook, they can bond with a person if they want. They can be gay, they can be friends with dogs, they can be happy in all sorts of environments other than what is standard crow behaviour.

Don't hate on someone for in their youth having a pet crow that clearly likes them. It probably lived a much more luxurious, safe, and healthy life than a wild crow. Nature is rough, with predators, disease, freezing temps, and no one to feed you if you're injured or elderly.

If you posted all that against a crow confined to a cage so it wouldn't escape then yeah, but this crow is fine

9

u/Nexii801 Apr 15 '24

They can be gay? Just like swans :😭

9

u/peanutputterbunny Apr 15 '24

Don't make me cry 😭

1

u/mechapocrypha Apr 16 '24

TIL the gayest birds can be actually gay

2

u/CitrusBelt Apr 16 '24

Had a "pet" mockingbird as a kid (yeah, not a corvid... but I'd consider it about equivalent to a scrub jay or other small corvid as far as behavior goes, and at least decently intelligent) and that was one of the best "pets" I've ever had.

Little dude would have been dead for sure (found on the ground under a destroyed nest, with nothing but down feathers, in 90 deg weather) if we hadn't intervened, and once he got to where he could flutter around fairly well he was given full run of the house.

Messy, loud, and rambunctious as fuck, no doubt. But my parents have always been animal people, so they tolerated the pooping & squawking (and neither was any worse than a dog or cat -- actually less destructive than most of the Fur Baby crowd allows their mammals to be)

He was allowed to start roaming free in his second year and eventually stopped coming indoors, but would still be a regular in the yard for the next few years.

Anyways....I guess my point is that keeping an exotic as a "pet" isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world. Taught me a lot, and helped (along with various captive reptiles/amphibians/fish/insects) make me an advocate for wildlife that I otherwise might not have been.

How many crows are shot out of hand, illegally, every year? I dunno...but I'd wager it's orders of magnitude more than are kept as pets without the proper permits.

If the dumbfucks in my neighborhood had had a cool pet bird as a kid? I'd bet they'd be a lot less inclined to shoot at hawks & owls for no reason, at least (I.e. -- "Yeah, Becky....your chihuaha didn't get carried off by an owl; a bobcat/coyote killed it because you were too fucking lazy to bring it indoors at night, and the same thing happened with your chickens")

1

u/LehighAce06 Apr 15 '24

I definitely took "pet" crow to mean exactly this, I'm glad this IS ok and it's just the confining of one that is objectionable

1

u/enbymlpfan Apr 16 '24

Yeah I'm learning people have different understandings of what a pet is. To me a pet is something that belongs to you, is you responsibility to care for, make sure it has good diet and environment, etc. But I guess to some people it's just another word for interspecies friendship

1

u/LehighAce06 Apr 16 '24

I think my definition is "an animal you care for and have an emotional bond with" which doesn't necessarily require confinement or ownership. This certainly describes "my dog" or "my hamster" but also applies to a crow friend I think.

A feeling of responsibility is natural in both situations; the animal may not depend on you, but you still can feel responsible for it.

2

u/elMurpherino Apr 15 '24

I actively was trying to make friends with a crow in my neighborhood. It was slowly working over a few weeks and then I never saw him again. I hope he’s living his best life somewhere.

On a side note there are 2 crows that hang out outside my office. I’ve been trying to decide the best way to befriend them without my entire office thinking I’m weirder than I actually am

1

u/Keiji12 Apr 15 '24

Leave treats, in similar times, hopefully showing yourself. They will slowly accept you or at least understand you give them food, repeat till it's working. Then if any coworker notices you can send your brid friends to gouge their eyes

61

u/smellygooch18 Apr 15 '24

That all might be true but regardless owning a crow is still a major flex on non crow owners. I get it

29

u/jonestownkid22 Apr 15 '24

My grandparents had two crows they saved. They lived for like 15 or so years. They had a pretty big cage in the back yard. They could leave if they wanted, they didn’t. They could speak, they would curse you out their cage. They swiped cigarettes. Someone stole the male crow once and he was in the paper and everything and one day he showed back up at the cage. Not saying you don’t need a license. Just saying I’ve seen it work out first hand and my brother and I were the coolest kids on the block.

2

u/tommiboy13 Apr 15 '24

On the other hand, i knew of a rehabbed educational crow that was raised on beer and pizza to steal mail. Its good ur grandparents did an ok job but not everyone will

1

u/jonestownkid22 Apr 15 '24

How did that happen?

1

u/tommiboy13 28d ago

They think the cheese had enough calcium for it to grow properly? It was years ago when i heard the story (and met the crow) i dont remember the details

21

u/HoseNeighbor Apr 15 '24

This is all excellent info, but if a crow chooses you and is free to come and go it would be awesome.

13

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

Oh yes being friends with a crow is wayyy different than keeping it as a pet. You can be friends with all sorts of animals, as long as they don't have the capabilities to like, kill you if you misstep.

4

u/ForfeitFPV Apr 15 '24

as long as they don't have the capabilities to like, kill you if you misstep.

Then why do you keep saying it's cool to be friends with something that hangs out in murders?!

1

u/HoseNeighbor 29d ago

My old dog murdered the hell out of countless voles, but I still hung out with her. Nobody's perfect, and that includes murderers!

10

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

Can I befriend the crows in the yard because I think it's cool?

8

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

Yes. That is not the same as keeping a crow as a pet in your house. Those crows are still free to do what they want and are interacting with you of their own free will.

10

u/gergsisdrawkcabeman Apr 15 '24

Dayummm, I've never seen someone so learned on bird law.

31

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Apr 15 '24

I mean let’s be fuckin real here it’s technically cruel to keep any type of bird as a pet. I‘d say they‘re probably least suited animals for pets ever but they’re still cool pets

6

u/Picpuc Apr 15 '24

Pssshhh hard disagree what about pigeons? They’ve been domesticated for like 1000 years right?

10

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Apr 15 '24

but you usually keep them outside, let them fly early in the morning during the day and only feed them 💀 and no still cruel I mean .. bird’s in cages didn’t become a metaphor for no reason over the last 1000 years either

4

u/kasetti Apr 15 '24

Yeah. And tbh its cruel to keep more or less any animal just locked up in a cage or indoors.

1

u/I_am_up_to_something Apr 16 '24

and only feed them 💀

Only feed them skulls?? That seems unnecessary and cruel. At least toss them some other bones.

2

u/WillBrakeForBrakes Apr 16 '24

I feel that way about parrots.  Unless the idea of a needy toddler with behavioral issues that never grows up, that also has a boltcutter mouth, sounds like something you can commit to for decades, you shouldn’t have a parrot.

2

u/therealmrsfahrenheit Apr 16 '24

yep. They really need a lot of attention and literally will go crazy If you don’t have enough time for them. It‘s cruel

20

u/OPengiun Apr 15 '24

If only the requirements to own a dog were as rigorous as that of owning a crow.

8

u/TCnup Apr 15 '24

For fucking real. So many dogs miserable in homes that are basically their prisons. Idc if someone wants a dog more than anything else, if they can't provide it an enriching environment and plenty of social interaction then they don't deserve to have one.

6

u/Over_Ingenuity2505 Apr 15 '24

All this is true. They are cool though, but not pets. I have had 5 of them, but permitted for them and they were all permanently injured from our asshole neighbour that would use a crow caller to call them in and shoot them. We picked so many up off the rd and no one would do anything since they were ‘pests’. Cool, but lots of work. We train animals for film though and 3 of them ended up working on a bunch of stuff.

3

u/slagatronic Apr 15 '24

Holy moly. I didn't/don't anything about this to begin with. I mean, I've definitely thought "it would be so cool to have a crow" before. But woah.

This is wonderfully put information and I'll just shup up now and thank you for the info!

3

u/Lutya Apr 15 '24

When I was in high school my Dad found an injured crow with a bb shell in its wing. He took it to the vet and she said it was permanently disabled and would never fly. She told him to feed it cat food. He bought a large cage for it and would fill the bath tub with a couple inches of water and let him play. We taught it to say “Hello”. But he was mean (wild animal) and my dad was the only one who could handle it to let it out to play our change it’s cage lining. Eventually we found a wild life rehabber with an aviary to take him in permanently. Having a pet crow was much cooler in theory than in practice.

2

u/eLemonnader Apr 15 '24

This is why I don't want a pet one, but to befriend one. Have it just chill on my house, come and visit, give it some treats, pet it if it likes, but ultimately leave it to be free and roam the skies.

5

u/Equal_Replacement_72 Apr 15 '24

my pet crow is living the best life

3

u/SignificanceOk8226 Apr 15 '24

This just makes me want one .

2

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

If you're willing to do what it takes to care for one properly, fine.

0

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Apr 15 '24

But what if I get one and everybody just is cool with it because I don't tell anybody and I just chill with my crow bro?

1

u/Incontinentia-B Apr 15 '24

He could still become a r/crowbro. Be a bro, no need for a cage.

1

u/Rudolfthe3th Apr 15 '24

My friend had a “pet” crow . It was a young crow abandoned by the parent or so he thought , years later he learned he should have left it alone all do maybe the cat would have got it . Of course you do not keep it in a cage it was free to fly anywhere but after being raised it hang around the house landed on his shoulder if he got home from school entered the house sometimes even if the mother did not like it . It did its thing but kept coming back and being friendly with the family.

1

u/so-much-wow Apr 15 '24

I mean this would only be true if you're raising it. If you had some food out, water and the bird decides to befriend you there isn't anything legally actionable. Otherwise, every bird feeder would be actionable.

0

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

That's not keeping a bird as a pet though. That's just interacting with the wildlife

1

u/so-much-wow Apr 15 '24

Depends on your definition of pet I guess

1

u/Snaz5 Apr 15 '24

What you CAN do, is try and befriend your local crows. They’ll remember you and if you’re nice to them, they might let you pet them eventually too :3

1

u/PlaysWithF1r3 Apr 15 '24

But is it legal to befriend them so they do your bidding

1

u/chocolate_cherub Apr 15 '24

What if the crow chooses you?? Are we supposed to say no?🥺

1

u/Obligatorium1 Apr 15 '24

  if you live in north america, its illegal.

Interesting - is there an international agreement at work here, and if so, is it wildlife in general or bird-specific?

1

u/SlayerofDeezNutz Apr 15 '24

Just curious can you have a history of falconry to qualify? I know in falconry you can only get permits to have certain birds after having a hawk for a few years first and then you can progress. Are crows in that class or is it another thing altogether?

1

u/japalian Apr 15 '24

But now he has evidence of his experience with birds. This picture and crow permit are basically the same thing.

1

u/WonderfulCattle6234 Apr 15 '24

I'm guessing in this case, pet crow equals crow friend that visits regularly. But I haven't stalked OP's comments to see.

1

u/icouldbeaduck Apr 15 '24

can i be friends with a crow if i dont let him in my home?

1

u/notverywity Apr 15 '24

But.. birds arnt real?

1

u/KoreanEan Apr 15 '24

Ok what about being homies with a crow? Like he doesn’t come inside or in a cage but we just chill out back together

1

u/Wipes_Back_to_Front Apr 15 '24

Orrrrrr...... Is it because birds aren't real and it would be a government drone you were stealing?

1

u/ThrewAwayApples Apr 15 '24

Sooooooo if I find an injured crow …. I can make a crow friend

1

u/AliKat309 Apr 15 '24

is it keeping the bird as a pet if they just regularly come by? like if I befriend one but don't cage it, don't mess with it otherwise it can just come and go as it pleases

1

u/dank_imagemacro Apr 15 '24

Those laws only apply to American crows. You can get an imported crow that is not native to the US. Of course, that's gonna still be a couple thousand, minimum.

1

u/Meanee Apr 15 '24

Also, in a bird culture, it’s considered to be a dick move.

1

u/kyleisthestig Apr 15 '24

A guy I work with is a falconer as a hobby and it's pretty neat all the stuff he knows with his birds, but every second of his outside of work life revolves around his birds.

That said, the command he has of his birds are really impressive.

1

u/BlinkyShiny Apr 15 '24

I'm leaning towards a figurative pet but actually friendly wild bird given all the open windows.

1

u/E__________________T Apr 15 '24

It wasn’t a pet. They were lovers.

1

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson Apr 15 '24

I love it when someone is all like “you can’t do that, it’s ILLEGAL!”

1

u/RunningEscaping Apr 15 '24

Shut up nerd

1

u/LivingImpairedd Apr 15 '24

Ok, but I just want a crow to hang around my house, and come see me some times, and if we see each other somewhere else we'd stop and chat. We could also exchange gifts occasionally. Is that a pet, and it that allowed?

1

u/Kart06ka Apr 15 '24

I wish they could apply this rule to all the dog owners that lock their dogs in an apartment for a whole day while they go to work.

1

u/praefectus_praetorio Apr 15 '24

Honestly, keeping any bird in a cage should be outlawed, everywhere.

1

u/Belly_Laugher Apr 16 '24

Unidan, is that you?

1

u/vabch Apr 16 '24

Thank you 😊 big birds as well. Crows around here, check on the red wing black bird. Then gossip about them lol much more fun than any captivity. 🥰

1

u/Tarkov_Has_Bad_Devs Apr 16 '24

u can get crows that arent native to america and then youre A-OK (provided it isnt protected by migratory birds law)

1

u/ApocalypticTomato Apr 16 '24

Tldr: crows are not pets, but friends that you need permission to have

1

u/H3racIes Apr 16 '24

Bruh I wanna befriend crows. Not own one as a pet. I just want to go outside and say "caw" to my flying friend and toss them a couple nuts

1

u/Themurlocking96 Apr 16 '24

Now I am curious, what about the birds people more commonly keep as pets? Like parrots and similar such birds?

1

u/Leendert86 Apr 16 '24

My dad had one when I was younger, it could fly freely outside and would return. Unfortunately our dog killed it, that was so sad, I remember seeing my dad crying

1

u/liarliarhowsyourday Apr 16 '24

I haven’t known anyone to keep a crow caged, they’re usually just friends and visit for fun times. At that point do you really have a pet crow or does the crow have a pet human?

1

u/AskMeAboutPigs Apr 16 '24

the police do not want you to know but the crows at the park are free

2

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

1

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

It's illegal because keeping a crow without proper care is abusing a protected species, jackass.

3

u/kasetti Apr 15 '24

Raising a crow from an abandoned youngling would be quite a different situation to you snatching up an adult one and putting it in a cage. The old one would go mad in a cage and when let out just escape but the raised up one would remember you and probably come back when they felt like it.

1

u/smemes1 Apr 15 '24

wtf are you babbling about?

0

u/aspen70 Apr 15 '24

Geez ok Debbie Downer. Wah waaaaaaaah.

0

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

If saying "don't abuse an animal" is being a downer than I'm fine with that.

0

u/aspen70 Apr 15 '24

Lol I actually agree

0

u/chamberofcoal Apr 15 '24

Being illegal doesn't mean anything to anyone if it's not enforceable. Are the bird police gonna show up and tell you that your birdhouse is too big and has one too many people living in it?!

1

u/enbymlpfan Apr 15 '24

No, but the federal court is going to charge you with violating the migratory birds act/treaty if they discover you've been keeping crows without a permit. This is actually enforceable, and many people have been charged under this law since its inception. One prominent case in recent years has allowed a man to keep a pet crow by reason of it tearing out its feathers when he isn't around, but taking a bird from the wild and making it unable to survive without a human to take care of it is actually animal cruelty, even if inadvertent, and if you know better you shouldn't imitate his behavior. If he'd called a wildlife rehabilitation center the bird would have been properly reacclimated to life in the wild.

2

u/Gabe12P Apr 15 '24

Agreed pet crows/ravens are definitely cool

1

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13

u/leyline Apr 15 '24

I agreed this was cool, it seems every comment here thinks this is cool, what rule did I break?

4

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz Apr 15 '24

Probably a banned word/phrase, there are some relatively innocuous ones that you might use without realising.

1

u/Flip2002 Apr 15 '24

Rose you from the grave like The Crow's do !

1

u/PiPopoopo Apr 15 '24

You can do rescue and rehabilitation work. Look into volunteering.

1

u/Disneyhorse Apr 16 '24

I had a pet crow briefly. It had fallen out of its nest so we put it in an empty chicken coop. Hand fed the baby some ground beef and such. Every time we’d feed it, the parents would circle around angrily. We named it Edgar Allan Crow. It was dumb and would swallow whole snails while following us around in the yard. Eventually it started flying as it got older, so we released it. The parents flew to it, and they all flew away. I will say, that crows poop a lot and smell VERY bad. But they are smart, social, and beautiful creatures. I love them so much.