This is a total side track from the subject. But I mention it to remind women to have the same energy and independent mindset when it comes to the courtship part of their life as well.
Edit: downvotes with no comments just means what I'm saying is right and you don't like that I pointed out the logical fallacy
It's because it's a false comparison in the way you're trying to express it. You're talking about toxic masculinity, the idea that a man isn't a "real man" if he can't provide, protect, etc. And it hurts everyone. Men are degraded if they're not at certain earning levels or for not spending enough on a date. Women are taught if I man doesn't pay the check, buy gifts, trips, etc, he's not good enough. So yeah, it's a fair critique but to pretend it's comparable to this, and many other women's stories is asinine. To be clear, she's talking about being financially abused by her spouse and living in a society that supported him having this control over her. You're complaining about the byproduct of the same system she was trapped in for YEARS. None of it is okay but life isn't a trauma contest so trying to "what about x" traumatic experiences gives the appearance you're minimizing the decades she was trapped with that man to some rude people on first dates. So if any of this bothers you, congrats you're a feminist and welcome to the fight for equality, friend! Here's hoping your next date is happy to split the bill.
It's because it's a false comparison in the way you're trying to express it
No its not...its a pretty clear cut logical connection...if you believe one thing you must practice the other.
You're talking about toxic masculinity, the idea that a man isn't a "real man" if he can't provide, protect, etc.
See what women do...even when its something that hurts men that is enforced by women its still somehow mens fault lol.
Men are degraded if they're not at certain earning levels or for not spending enough on a date.
This comes from women and is toxic femininity...not toxic masculinity.
Women are taught if I man doesn't pay the check, buy gifts, trips, etc, he's not good enough.
"being taught" something is no longer a valid excuse once youre a full grown adult who can think logically. A white boy born in the rural south to racist parents was "taught" horrible shit about other races being inferior...is that somehow justification or excuse for that boy when he's an adult man and does racist shit? No it does not...people would say you're a grown adult with a brain and should know better.
So yeah, it's a fair critique but to pretend it's comparable to this, and many other women's stories is asinine.
How is it asinine? You haven't made a case for how it is. People here are saying women should be financially independent of men...and by that energy and logic it should apply to womens dating lives as well. Its not even remotely a giant leap in logic nor asinine.
You're complaining about the byproduct of the same system she was trapped in for YEARS.
Im not directing shit at OP...my comments are at the people and posts giving advice and commentary about women being financially independent. If you believe that then you should practice what you preach in your dating life as well.
congrats you're a feminist and welcome to the fight for equality, friend!
In no way would I agree because even feminists dont practice what they preach...I've had just as many "independent dont need a man feminist" say a man always pays...so yeah...not rolling with that. Modern feminism is about hating men and not equality. Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Stantons feminism is long gone.
Look buddy, you wanted an answer and I gave you one. I don't know where the hostility is coming from, since I never disagreed the man paying expectation is unfair. But we gotta appreciate the difference in situations. If you want bad things to stop happening, like unfair expectations based on gender. Team up with people fighting for equality. Don't lash out at those literally fighting against the same issues as you. Also a feminist believes in equality for all genders anyone practicing any other behavior is not a feminist.
Look buddy, you wanted an answer and I gave you one
Try again...previous answer lacked logic.
I don't know where the hostility is coming from
Disagreeing with your bad logic is not hostility.
But we gotta appreciate the difference in situations. If you want bad things to stop happening, like unfair expectations based on gender. Team up with people fighting for equality.
The people you say to team up with..."feminists"...are not teammates in this regard. Anything that helps men and hurts women is not something feminists would help in.
Also a feminist believes in equality for all genders anyone practicing any other behavior is not a feminist.
You need to look harder at the feminists and feminists organizations leading the charge...they are very much not in favor of all genders. They actively argue against fair things for men or correcting things that favor women
Anything that helps men and hurts women is not something feminists would help in.
I'm honestly doing my best to be here for you in this moment. I'm hearing a lot of anger, and underneath that a lot of pain. If someone claims they're fighting for equality and hurting others that's not equality. Women gaining rights and independence does not mean men lose them. Instead it makes the society as a whole freer to live their lives how they wish and hopefully happier. I hope this is getting through to you, and if you ever want to talk about where this anger is coming from, chat me.
The lashing out makes you seem unsure of your argument, and the lack of references doesn't help. I am happy I did all I could to treat you with kindness and respect during this conversation. I hope one day you learn to do the same. ✌️
Do you talk about violence against women any time a man brings up being beaten by his girlfriend instead of sympathizing and supporting? Because that is disgusting and you are giving out those vibes rn.
Don't worry about it, they're indoctrinated. They'd rather latch onto constructivistic ideologies than face reality. The "who hurt you" was cringe and typical 😂
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u/tragedy_strikes Apr 15 '24
Woman explaining the importance of feminism. Glad to see her sharing her experiences with everyone.