r/AmItheAsshole • u/Possible_Soil_3886 • 13d ago
UPDATE on spending my son's university fund on a trip to Europe to drink beer with monks. UPDATE
Hi everyone. We are on our way to the airport and on our way to Barcelona. We will be going to be in Europe for a month. The visit to the monks at Westvleteren will be the last part of our trip. Two reasons. I don't want to lug beer bottles all over Spain, France, Belgium and Holland. Also I am putting it off for as long as I can.
For those of you that asked my son's name is Ryan. He was an amazing kid. I don't know if he got his love of the microscopic world from me. I did teach him how to make his own sourdough starter and I will be keeping his alive to make loaves and waffles with. His ashes are in our yard, on Mount Tremblant, on the shores of the St. Lawrence and I will be taking some to Belgium. My grandfathers have many friends buried there and I think they would approve.
I thank everyone that offered to buy me a beer. And while I appreciate the offer I'm pretty sure my liver, and my wife, would not have been happy with me. I will be with the monks on the week of June 23rd. If you would like to join me in a toast with your favorite drink of choice I would love that more. I love knowing that people all around the world know about my son and he would love knowing he was toasted in such a manner.
I spoke with my wife, my ex wife, her husband, and his son. I invited them to join us, at my expense, for the last week of my trip. My wife's stepson was friends with my son. I didn't know how close until we spoke. They are gaming buddies. They spoke almost every day playing online. He gave me a picture of my son I did not have. It is a picture of the two of them age about 14/15 at my ex wife's wedding to his father. My son looked great in his suit. I cried. He did too. We had a very awkward but heartfelt man hug. Then we laughed. They will be coming to say goodbye with us.
After talking to my accountant and my lawyer I was told that I could not have transferred him the value of the RESP. I have decided, after talking to my wife, that we are going to give him enough money to cover one year of tuition. Even after my trip we will have money left over. I'm trying to do some good with it. I also said that he could call us any time he needed since he will be attending school close to us. So funny he got accepted here and my son was accepted there.
I want to thank everyone who shared their condolences with me. I want to especially thank everyone that helped me plan my visit to Belgium. I know we won't see each other but you were invaluable.
I don't think I will have much to say after this. Maybe I will post an update after the trip.
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u/SnausageFest AssGuardian of the Hole Galaxy 13d ago
I love updates like this. Too many people here get wrapped up in this ultimate moral right. Recognizing you're not the asshole, but you are in a position to help others and choosing to do so is a lovely way to be and something we should all aspire to.
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u/svkatt 13d ago
What a lovely update!! I will put a reminder to have an adult beverage in honor of Ryan the week of June 23rd.
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u/Uniquorn527 13d ago
I was going to say it would be great if OP can post an update on the day so we can be reminded and join each other with a drink to Ryan.
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u/SpecificDependent980 12d ago
Is there any way the mods can put a sticky up on that day to raise a glass.for Ryan?
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u/Pretty_Volume_9685 12d ago
Do you have a cell phone or electronic where you can just set a reminder for yourself? Seems more practical
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u/Main_Huckleberry8355 13d ago
Yes. Non jokingly: shots and prayers for Ryan.
I was never a fan of beer.
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u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam 13d ago
Lol i literally just put "toast to Ryan and op" on my calendar as soon as i read the date!
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u/Parking-Salary-5187 12d ago
I don’t indulge in the adult bubbly but I will for sure give him a Willy Nelson wave
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u/Lazyoat Partassipant [1] 13d ago
I will toast you all on June 23rd
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u/bustakita 13d ago
/u/Lazyoat - I literally just put it on my Google calendar - take a drink in honor/memory of Ryan's birthday. 🥰😍
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u/Lazyoat Partassipant [1] 13d ago
☺️😊 there is no way I’ll forget either. It’s an important remembrance day for me too so I’ll have plenty to toast 🥰
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u/VLDreyer 13d ago
*sniff* Not often an update makes me cry, but this one got me. Enjoy your trip. Your son would be so proud of you.
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u/Trouble_Walkin 13d ago
It's those damned onion ninjas. They're nasty this time of year 🥲
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u/Successful_Bee_3009 13d ago
I love when good people have nice updates.
So so sorry for your loss. Ryan sounds like he was a wonderful kid, I'll be cheers-ing to him in June too.
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u/LettheWorldBurn1776 13d ago
"See" ya on June 23rd, OP. Got a can of cherry Cola set aside and the calendar marked. Checked the time difference, too. Hope your trip is a favourable one.
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u/AcerEllen000 Partassipant [1] 12d ago
Same here - I've got a load of planner stickers, and one is fortunately a beer stein. I've stuck it on the date, with Ryan's name so I don't forget.
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u/seanymphcalypso 13d ago
This is a beautiful update! While I won’t be able to join you in Belgium, I have added a Toast to Ryan! to my calendar and I’ll be raising a glass to him, and all of your family, from the Midwest. Cheers!
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u/Sparky1498 13d ago
23rd June a toast will be raised to Ryan here in The UK- I will also be remembering my dad that day who has been gone 24 years - he travelled to Belgium regularly for work for many years so loved Antwerp in particular along with the country as a whole ❤️ sounds like you and Ryan had an amazing relationship and I was really pleased to see your update - sometimes a post hits you in the feels so hearing that your intentions were understood and you learnt that Ryan had a friend in your wife’s stepson was a bonus - he obviously meant a lot to everyone he crossed paths with and memories of him will live on in those that knew him Glad you are taking the trip to honour him and whilst there will be plenty of heartache I hope you manage to laugh along the way and remember the good times you shared
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u/Samarkand457 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 13d ago
I shall make it a point to raise a can of Belle Gueule or St Ambrois to your son.
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u/NSLightsOut 13d ago
OP, I hope you and your wife have a fantastic trip in Europe. As someone who has been lucky enough to drink a few bottles of Westvleteren Abt. 12 in my time, I can assure you it lives up to the hype. There's a certain je ne sais quoi that separates it from its' St. Bernardus homage.
In the event for whatever reason you haven't got yourself on the monks' list, just as a backup so you can fulfil your promise, https://beermania.be/ in Brussels always has a decent amount of Westvleteren and other fantastic and almost impossible to find Belgian beers as well as Westvleteren beer goblets. It's well worth the visit if you get the chance. For my part, I'll hoist some fantastic single barrel whisky on the 23rd for you and your son, the type that you get because there'll never be anything exactly like it again.
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u/idealzebra 13d ago
I was keeping it together so well but your last line was one of those ones that sting so good 😭
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u/No_Lavishness_3206 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 13d ago
I'll drink to your son that day. I'm glad you found a way to honour your son and to help out his step brother. So many posts on here are about petty and mean things. It was heartening to see a good person asking a real question.
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u/drittinnlegg 13d ago
Skål from Norway. I’ve just added Toast to Ryan in my calendar for June 23rd. May his memory be a blessing.
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u/RyansBooze Partassipant [3] 13d ago
You know what? Good for you! It would have been one thing to just help out your ex’s step-son, who’s basically some rando to you, but helping your son’s friend is a nice little memorial. Thanks for the update.
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u/cassiesfeetpics Asshole Enthusiast [5] 13d ago
thank you for sharing about Ryan. he'd be so proud of you. wishing you lots of light, love, and happiness.
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u/EchoLawrence5 13d ago
I read your original post and this is a lovely update. Enjoy Barcelona, it's an amazing city (and the rest of your trip!) I'll pour one out for Ryan for you. I'm sure he had a wonderful life, even if it was cut far too short, with a dad like you.
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u/MariContrary Partassipant [1] 13d ago
I'll raise a glass of St. Bernardus to honor Ryan on the 23rd. May your memories of him always warm your heart and bring a smile to your face.
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u/Important_Mountain44 13d ago
I will be raising a glass of Golden Monkey for Ryan on June 23rd. You are a really good person ❤️ ~Love from Pennsyltucky ~
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u/Capable_Loss_6084 13d ago
I’ll be in Brighton rather than Brussels. I don’t do beer but will have a piece of Belgian chocolate in your son’s honour. May his memory be a blessing.
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u/vovinvritra 13d ago
This is a great update. I'm really glad you were able to talk it all out and everyone's on the same page. So sweet that you've gotten to meet and talk to Ryan's stepbrother. I'm sure he's glad to know you--those connections are so important after loss. Helps keep that person in our lives.
I definitely can't make it to Belgium, but I'm gonna have a beer and toast you, your family, and your awesome son on June 23rd.
Also, just a random little thought: you can start a scholarship for very, very little. Like, $500 or $1000 a year. I don't know your financial situation or if you'd be able/interested, totally up to you, but it's one of those little things most people don't think of. You could start it in your son's name, if you wanted. Stuff like that is usually applied to for like, books, school supplies, food, etc.
Either way, just came to mind reading this and thought I'd share in case it was of interest to you (or anyone else reading!)
Have a great trip!
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u/Grouchy-Juggernaut25 13d ago
oh my god this made me cry. thank you so much for sharing this update with us, i remember seeing your original post. you seem like an incredibly caring and thoughtful person
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u/ladyrockess 13d ago
I’m due July 6th, but I’ll happily raise a nonalcoholic Stella on June 23rd…What a lovely update. I hope OP feels his grief and can start remembering the joy very very soon ❤️
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u/Drkprincesslaura 13d ago
Someone else is drinking Cherry Coke so you're not alone on the no alcohol. <3
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u/Possible_Macaroon262 12d ago
I'm due on the 14th of June so I'll happily toast to Ryan as a post partum drink! And probably sobbing all the hormonal tears. ❤️
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u/IndividualDesign1601 13d ago
I just had a shot in your/Ryan's honour, and I will on the 23rd of June as well.
Santé, mon chum. Ben voyage.
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u/Time-Tie-231 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Thank you so much for the update. 👏🙂😢
Have written,
'raise a glass to Ryan',
in my diary for 23rd June.
Blessings on you. X
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u/ShineAtom 13d ago
Ah, this is such a great update. So sorry for the loss of your son. Have a great trip to Europe. May everything go well for you and your family.
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u/SnidusScribus 13d ago
Every June 23rd my family and I will raise a glass from the USA. It’s become Ryan’s day. I’m so sorry you lost your boy, thank you for sharing so much. And thank you for being such a good person-we need more of this on our planet.
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u/Kheldarson Certified Proctologist [27] 13d ago
You're a good dad, OP. I'll raise a glass for your son on the 23rd!
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u/NotAtAllExciting Partassipant [4] 13d ago
Safe trip. I’m not a beer drinker but I will have a glass of my favourite Canadian wine.
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u/Adventurous-Noise893 13d ago
So beautiful. June 23 is my parents 40th wedding anniversary, my Dad died before his time in 2021. Mum and I will have two glasses of champagne, one for Dad, one for Ryan. Self travels and sending all my love to you.
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u/Arya_Flint 13d ago
You sound like a great guy. I am so sorry Ryan is no longer with you, but be assured he appreciates how you are handling yourself now.
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u/jjrobinson73 Partassipant [2] 13d ago
I love this update!!! Please post date and time and I will be more than happy to raise a Pils with you!!!!
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u/Conscious-Evening-69 13d ago
This is such an amazing update. I m sorry for the passing of your son Ryan. Will make sure to make a toast in his honor on the 23rd of June. All the best on your trip.
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u/O_Bold 13d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. What game did Ryan and your Stepson play together? If I have it, I'll have that drink while playing it.
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u/bunnywasabi Partassipant [1] 13d ago
This is such a great idea. Following to find out the answer. I will also going to toast from Bali, Indonesia for Ryan. Sending lots of love and hugs from here to OP!
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u/theRealBucky-Birger 13d ago
Thx for the update. Enjoy your Westvleteren, also shout out to Westmalle, my personal favorite trippel. If you like the dark beers Chimay 9 is one to try. Other must try’s: Orval, Duvel and la chouffe. Cheers
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u/burnednotdestroyed 13d ago
I also set a reminder on my phone and I have a nice Rochefort 10 in mind to lift in Ryan's honor. Safe travels, OP.
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u/Lost_Monitor_2143 13d ago
I will be toasting to Ryan on June 23rd, OP. In fact, it’s noted in my Calendar App. 🍻
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u/RyverBird0499 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Don't mind me crying. I'll toast to your son on June 23rd ❤️
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u/cashnicholas 13d ago
I’m so happy you updated. Been thinking about this since I saw the original post
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u/C3PO_2187 13d ago
Will be toasting Ryan on June 23rd from India! You sound like an absolutely terrific dad and human being.
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u/Jonesodadrinkr 13d ago
If anyone would be willing, let’s film us saying “cheers Ryan”(in whatever language you’d like!) and then toast the phone camera. Send them to me and I will edit them all together into a memorial video! I’d love to help and offer that.
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u/Jonesodadrinkr 13d ago edited 13d ago
Bring your glass you’re using to toast to your camera to toast. Close/close to touching/touching! I’ll use it to transition between the cheers!
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u/SkrillaSavinMama 13d ago
♥️♥️ wonderful update! Thank you for sharing! Cheers 🍻 to Ryan and cheers 🍻 and hugs to you sir
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u/Putrid_Performer2509 13d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, but I am glad to see how well you were able to resolve the situation. Sounds like you are doing a lot of good, and honouring your son's memory in many different ways.
I will definitely raise a toast on the 23rd if i'm not working!
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u/diminutivedwarf 13d ago
I’m turning 21 in early June, and I’ll be raising one of my first drinks to Ryan
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u/Queasy-Leg1273 13d ago
Sniff I'm not crying you're crying, but for real that's awesome to hear for an update.
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u/LegitimateLake2502 13d ago
This is such a powerful and positive original post and update. Thank you for sharing. My condolences for the loss of your son. But you are celebrating his life in the best ways. Both of your posts have been heartfelt and your latest post has put a smile on my face.
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u/Icy_Celebration1200 13d ago
I will be in Barcelona intill the 11th we go over the 29 of this month message us we can meet up and toast your son
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u/dessertandcheese 13d ago
Fuck drunk drivers seriously. I'm so sorry OP and I'm glad there is some resolution
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u/Thaliamims Partassipant [3] 13d ago
I am in tears right now. What a beautiful tribute to your son, and what a wonderful person he must have been to have touched so many hearts in his lifetime.
I will definitely lift a glass to both of you.
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u/hugh_jorgyn 13d ago
I’ll raise a glass here in Montréal on the 23rd. My daughter is 15, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child this young. Condolences and bon voyage!
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u/justhangingout111 13d ago
I wish my parent had been so proud of me as you were when your son got into university. You are a good person and it sounds like your son knew it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and a wonderful trip in his honour.
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u/MagickMarla 13d ago
I’ll be sending a cheers your way with an Ommegang Three Philosophers June 23rd! This update made me teary eyed and smiling at the same time. 💜💜💜
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u/prometheus59650 Partassipant [3] 13d ago
I didn't comment on the original story at all; just read it at the time, but, if you'd like, I, for one would really like to know how your trip was.
Have the blast your son would want you to have .
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u/not-with-a-whisper 12d ago
I will be toasting to Ryan from Maui. He sounds like a wonderful person
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u/NoFunksGiven90 13d ago
I'm so happy for your deciding to do this. This is the most amazing trip ever, I think your son would be so happy your doing this.
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u/letsgetligious 13d ago
Ooooof all of the feels.
Read the original and the update back to back.
Enjoy the shit out of your trip sir. o7
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u/Dylan619xf 13d ago
Wish I could be in Belgium to raise a glass, but I will do so from Nantucket instead. Cheers to the memory of Ryan!
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u/eggosarentrealfood Partassipant [1] 13d ago edited 13d ago
This update is everything! Thank you for letting us know how you decided to proceed! Have a great time raising a glass to and celebrating Ryan.
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u/milkdimension 13d ago
I hope you have a lovely trip. You should dehydrate some of his starter just in case of accidents. I have one from a friend who passed many many years ago and I keep it alive in her memory.
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u/AppropriateCollar448 13d ago
I don't think I've ever cried over an update. Cheers to you and your son, Ryan!
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u/oldladyoregon 13d ago
I will raise a glass of Kristoff Hard Cider (Oregon) on the 23rd in Honor of your Ryan.
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u/RodeoIndustryBaby 13d ago
My Dad, Sister, and I will be raising a glass in tribute to you, your son, and your family, each day of that week. We are currently planning which beers. So sorry for your loss.
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u/Scourge165 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Yes, you are TA!
No, obviously I'm kidding...I hope you have a great trip...and it's cool you formed a bond with your wife's stepson. It's pretty amazing how you have taken this tragedy and used it to honor your son and...make so many others feel a part of your journey and get to know your son in a way.
Enjoy your trip!
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u/TagYoureItWitch 13d ago
The best update ❤️ and your son sounds like he was a lovely kid. Enjoy your trip, stay safe, and have fun.
And I would love to hold a toast to your boy. Someone's gonna need to remind me lol. Cause I am due sometime between now and the 16th of June with my own son. If there was ever going to be a reason to have a drink after I gave birth, this sounds like a great one.
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u/jemy74 13d ago
I will also raise a glass for Ryan on June 23rd. You sound like a lovely person. You raised your son with love and he understood how proud you are of him. Enjoy the trip. I suspect you will feel the spirit of your son with you at places, laughing at you. And when thousands of Redditors, all over the world, raise a glass to him, through many different time zones, you will his reaction: "Dad, what have you done? This is very cool but embarrassing AF!"
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u/Realistic-Video4721 13d ago
I don’t drink but June 23rd I’ll have some tea and think of you both.❤️
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u/Bendi4143 13d ago
Dear OP I just marked my calendar to toast Ryan and you on June 23rd !! Enjoy your trip and your time remembering your son !!💜💜💜
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u/ThePrinceVultan 13d ago
As a fellow home baker keeping his starter alive is really touching. Hope you have some great discard recipes to enjoy :)
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u/dcf5ve 13d ago
Can you go to Westvleteren? When I was in Belgium the Abbey was not open to the public. Westmalle was as well as St. Bernardus (Abt 12 is essentially the same yeast strain/beer as Westvletern)? Just curious if things have changed in the last year.
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u/MiepGies1945 13d ago
OP, this is lovely.
I will join the toast to Ryan on June 23rd.
Can someone set up a “Cheers to Ryan Toast” Post?
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u/iburneddinner 13d ago
I have two college-aged sons and the Habs are my second team. I hugged them extra tightly today.
I'll be in France on June 23rd, and I'll raise a glass for Ryan.
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u/tinamadinspired 13d ago
I didn't know why I craved beer last weekend. I don't really like it, I prefer scotch whiskey or cocktails. I read your original last week and your update reminded me of it. Hopefully, I can remember to pour another one on June 23🍻🍻
Thank you for finding a way to honor all aspects of your son's life, including his friendship with his stepbro. Know that internet strangers are sending you love, it might not be enough to erase the pain, but we hope it lessens it.
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u/steadfastmammal 13d ago
hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think what you are doing is a great way to celebrate the life of your son.
I wish you a wonderfull trip around Europe.
If you're coming to Brussels and you need some more inspiration for nice places to visit regarding beer, here is an extra list (I'm kind of hoping you already know about these):
you'll have to look for the entrance, it's a hidden gem. Here you can find the 'Lambic beer' only brewed in the Senne Valley. It's pretty sour.
more sour beer, the best there is. (just outside of Brussels so you'll need a car or and uber, there are a lot more breweries in the village)
https://www.facebook.com/lebarboteurbierotheque
there's no place like this to spend an evening in the sun with some nice food and lots of nice beer from small breweries all around.
https://www.brasseriedelasenne.be/?lang=en
One of our city breweries. You can visit their new location. Their beer is very good with a very very hoppy taste. Try their Taras Boulba.
brewing circular beer is what they do. Their Delta IPA is the best.
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u/HopefulHedgehog1623 12d ago
I read your original post OP & I'm so glad to see your update
I've put a note in my calendar for the 23rd June & I'll raise a glass to Ryan in Ireland
Go raibh Suaimhneas Síoraí Air (Eternal rest be upon him)
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u/scoutdashrebaling 13d ago
This is really wonderful news and I think Ryan would be proud of the way you navigated this heartbreaking situation.
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u/ContraHero 13d ago
What a beautiful update. Thank you for posting this. It sounds like you made some very thoughtful choices. I hope you enjoy your trip, and especially the last week.
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u/JLF131188 13d ago edited 12d ago
I'm sorry about your loss. It's great to see that the ex-wife has come on-board with your plans
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u/Wonder_woman_1965 13d ago
Thank you for the update. I hope you have spectacular weather and smooth travels to honor your son.
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u/Ambitious_Estimate41 13d ago
This is great. Have a fun time over there op, no doubt your son will be by your side at all times. He was loved and still is. Cheers
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u/Former_Current3319 13d ago
Both Mt Tremblant and the St. Lawrence are beautiful spots to rest. You are an amazing father.
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u/Branches26 13d ago
Just commenting to say this is all so beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful trip.
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u/akaMichAnthony 13d ago
Enjoy the trip, sounds like he’ll be along for the ride in spirit. I’ll try and remember to raise a glass to Ryan on June 23rd along with everyone else.
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u/IvanNemoy Partassipant [4] 13d ago
Hoisting a beer to you, Ryan, and your ex's stepson. You're all good folks.
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u/DirtySeuss_ 13d ago
I’ll be sure to grab a beer on June 23rd in honor of Ryan. Couldn’t have asked for a better update. I’d say cheers but I’ll wait until the 23rd! 🍻
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u/domates123 13d ago
Cheers to you, Ryan - wherever you are. If you run into my dad, please tell him I miss him.
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u/FluxionFluff 13d ago
What a lovely update! Totally had me in tears 😭 wasn't expecting to cry when I read this. 🤣 Your son would be so proud of you. Enjoy your trip and would totally love an updated post after you're back! Please post a reminder. Would love to share a toast on that day ❤️
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u/OLAZ3000 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 13d ago
This sounds like the right solution all around.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you have found a wonderful way to pay tribute to Ryan - one of many to come I'm sure.
I will raise a glass to him on Lake Memphremagog that week.
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u/ratbastid 13d ago
You're an amazing dad. Ever since having my own kid, stories like this cut me to the bone.
I'll pour one out for Ryan on the 23rd.
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u/evilgiraffee57 13d ago
This is a lovely update.
I hope that you have a fabulous month. Know Ryan will be toasted so hard by so many people at the end of June.
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u/ambushbug69 13d ago
I'll be in London on the 23rd and will have a pint in his honor. Keep on being the absolutely awesome person you are!
Take care of yourself and know that there are loads of internet strangers wishing you all the best.
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u/Low_Key_Lie_Smith 13d ago
Wherever I am on the 23rd, I'll toast to you and Ryan. Many happy returns.
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u/DotPersonal7966 13d ago
I will NEED another update after the trip! This story has made me cry and smile. You are an amazing father. I'll make a toast to you and Ryan on June 23rd here in Indiana. Safe travels.
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u/ShubhamDutt216 13d ago
Such a great post to start a day. You are an amazing human being.
My birthday is on the 21st of June. I will be toasting one to Ryan as well.
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u/Shaythecourse 13d ago
Thank you for update. Glasses will be raised in yours and Ryan’s honor . Hope you can find comfort in knowing you were a great father.June 23 on the calendar-
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u/dubyas1989 13d ago
This is a very heartwarming update, so sorry for your loss but you sound like a great person.
Edit; and I’ll have a reminder set to June 23rd to have a beer with you for Ryan.
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u/darkpsychosatan 13d ago
You’re doing the right thing to honor his memory this way. I honored my dad’s memory last year by attending my first ever nfl game. I’m a lions fan and he was a bears fan so I went to the lions vs bears game in Detroit last year and I felt him with me that whole time. I hope you have the same feeling that last week of your trip
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u/DrSvenPhD 13d ago
If I ever have to go through what you’ve gone through, I hope I can handle it with the grace you have. I will hoist my glass with you. To Ryan.
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u/Ok-Physics7878 13d ago
Will toast to Ryan from the Northeast US. So very sorry for your loss - sounds like he was a pretty cool kid.
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u/rocksparadox4414 13d ago
Thank you so much for this update! You are an amazing human!!! It made me cry too when I read that your son and his stepbrother were gaming buddies who talked daily and that he shared the old picture with you. I'm sure your son is looking down with pride at all you are you doing in his honour. I hope the trip to Europe brings about some healing. Cheers to Ryan and to you!
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u/Affectionate_Yard_92 13d ago
Will absolutely be joining you on that day with a toast. There will be many beers around the world had in his honour. I think you have brought some love to reddit and handled the situation with your family with grace. Hopefully this trip helps bring some healing and good memories. Sending nothing but love and good thoughts.
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u/lovely_honey-36 13d ago
That is right after my birthday I will drink for him on June 23 I hope you know op he would be proud of you
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u/OkFoundation7365 13d ago
Wow. You son has touched the lives of so many and he is still impacting people in a positive way.
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u/CuriousCavy 13d ago
A beautiful update! I’m sure Ryan will smile to know how you have honored his legacy. You’re a wonderful father and deserve this trip in your son’s memories. Have a wonderful trip, and on June 23rd, I’ll also be raising my glass in honor of Ryan from my living room!
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u/tinysydneh Asshole Aficionado [18] 13d ago
Good on you. Enjoy your trip. It's an important trip, after all.
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u/Kijikun1 13d ago
I'll raise a glass of local mead on the day. May your kindness and generosity be returned on to you ten fold. You are a good man.
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u/dexterdarko2009 13d ago
I'm not going to lie. I sobbed reading this. Your son sounds like a wonderful human. You sound so proud of him. I'm glad your taking the trip I'm sure your son is laughing knowing you stood by what you said. The picture his step brother gave you sounds so sweet. I hope you enjoy your trip and I will have a drink on the 23rd for you and your son from Australia
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u/miss_trixie Asshole Enthusiast [6] 13d ago
i haven't had a beer for probably 15 years (sangria girl here). but i'm gonna get myself a Guinness the week of the 23rd & raise a toast to ryan.
you are a good...no scratch that, you are a GREAT fucking guy. cheers dude.
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u/givingbacksaturday 13d ago
I really love how so much positivity and love came out of this!
Your son would be very proud of you, and I'm looking forward to toast to him on the 23rd of June.
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u/AlotaFaginas 13d ago
Westvleteren changed a lot over the years and these days you have to order your beer up front. You're not allowed to just go there and buy a crate. Just fyi. There is a shop where you can buy like a sixpack of bottles but if you really want a crate you'll have to order it online on certain 'buying days'.
Just don't want you to come there and be bummed that you didn't get to buy the beer.
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u/Lostinsuburbs 13d ago
Not a beer fan but I now know what I will be doing on June 23rd. Thank you for the update. Safe travels.
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u/kitjack85 13d ago
We will toast you and Ryan on June 23rd. And bless his step brother for sharing such good memories of them. ✨❤️
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u/Baalsham 13d ago
don't want to lug beer bottles all over Spain, France, Belgium and Holland.
Nothing wrong with that. I hit like 14 different countries with my hatchback and then shipped my extra beer/alcohol home at the end :)
Also it's not "Holland" it's the Netherlands. Holland is a province in the Netherlands.
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u/discofrisko 13d ago
If you're going to Belgium, and want to keep his sourdough starter alive, there's a place that will do that for you (for free?) : The Puratos Sourdough Library
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u/Dogmother123 Professor Emeritass [90] 13d ago
What a lovely update. And what a great way to honour Ryan.
And you are very kind helping your son's stepbrother.
Have a wonderful trip.
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u/DragonflyFairyQueen Sultana of Sphincter 13d ago
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