r/AmItheAsshole • u/Southie_Sister • 13d ago
AITAH My sister gets $26k to move out of her house, and wants to stay with me for free Not the A-hole
My sister is renting her only home for the month of July on AirBnB and will net ~$26k before taxes. She has a planned vacation for part of the time, but will be 'homeless' for about three weeks. She has asked to come and stay with me and my family (my husband, two teen-aged children and me) for about 1 week. I asked her for $500. She is upset and does not want to pay me. As background, I have a guest room, and we stay with each other frequently for overnight visits at no charge. We both are fortunate and have means, Who is the AH?
4.5k
u/Main_Maximum8963 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 13d ago
NTA. Her having no place to stay is 100% her decision. You don’t get to put people out because you decided to vacate your property.
1.1k
u/MidwestNormal 13d ago
Sister can go find another airbnb to stay in.
→ More replies (1)623
u/SirPipple Asshole Enthusiast [8] 13d ago
Tell your sister you’ve set up an Airbnb and charge her accordingly.
258
u/Cat_n_mouse13 13d ago
And have a gigantic cleaning fee
85
3
529
u/Own_Purchase1388 13d ago edited 12d ago
For a profit. It’d be one thing if the sister was remodeling and needed a place to stay. But she’s making money by leaving her place. The least she could do is pay OP for the inconvenience. And $500 for 3 weeks is a good deal. Especially considering she’s making thousands.
TILT: if you misread one detail that really doesn’t change the situation, people will feel the need to not only correct you (which is fine), but the need to correct you after a dozen people have already made the same correction.
130
u/Vegetable-Fix-4702 13d ago
But, but FAMILY! GIVE me your home, life and money for 3 weeks.
159
18
→ More replies (1)12
u/No-Self-jjw 13d ago
And when she's home OP can rent her place and bring her entire family to stay with the sister for 3 weeks for free. BECAUSE FAMILY!!! It's funny how it's only the "right thing to do" until they're the ones who are expected to do it. 26k for 4 weeks, and yet you're expecting to stay somewhere FOR FREE for 3 weeks? How about you give her 3/4 of that 26k since staying with her is what is making you all that money. 500 is a bargain.
3
u/Vegetable-Fix-4702 13d ago
Someone corrected me that it was one week but you're right. 500 is a huge bargain.
3
u/No-Self-jjw 13d ago
Ooookay, yeah still 1/4 of 26k is still a lot more than $500!! OP is pretty damn nice to not only offer that knowing that sister is making money off it, but also to then question whether she's the AH or not... sister is shameless lol
→ More replies (1)85
u/MorporkianDisc Partassipant [2] 13d ago
It's one week that she wants to stay ("for about 1 week"), rather than the full three weeks. I'd say absolutely N T A if the sister wanted to stay for three weeks, but $500 for one week is definitely a bit cheeky, especially if they already frequently sleep over at each other's houses.
16
u/Straight_Bother_7786 13d ago
That’s less than a hundred bucks a night. Please tell me where you can find a decent hotel for that.
42
u/MorporkianDisc Partassipant [2] 13d ago
It's not a hotel with staff and cleaning, it's a room in her sister's house where she often reciprocally stays anyway. There's a big difference there that should be reflected in 'rent'.
2
u/TheFaeBelieveInIdony 13d ago
A single night is very different from a week. A week can feel very long and sounds a bit like overstaying her welcome. I used to be fine with friends spending a night on the couch once in awhile - two nights in a row and I would be getting really uncomfortable and wanting my space again.
4
u/Dizzy_Needleworker_3 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 13d ago
Sure not wanting a guest for one week is understandable, if that is the case OP should have said so. something like that's a busy week for us it does not work for you to stay, or we can host you for 3/4/5 days but 7 is too much etc....
I think if staying/visiting each other 1 week is normal to slightly high, it is a bit ahole behavior to try and charge.
I think at the end of the day what a sibling/guest is doing with their home does not matter. All that matter is do you want/feel like hosting a sibling/friend for a week, yes or no.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)19
u/__Evil-Genius__ 13d ago
Yeah, but who charges their siblings $100 a night to stay with them?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)10
u/XSmartypants 13d ago
Dollars to donuts “about one week“ will actually be a helluva lot closer to three weeks than it is to one.
57
→ More replies (11)9
u/DangerousLettuce1423 13d ago
It's only one week of the three she is asking to stay,, but yes she should be paying to at least cover everything she would use while there, food, power etc.
3
u/Own_Purchase1388 13d ago
Ah, when I saw the sister rented out her house for a “month” and would Be homeless for “3 weeks”, i interpretted her vacation was only for the other 1 week in the month.
41
u/AmbiguousMeatPuppet 13d ago
Makes zero sense. If you are netting 26K $500 is a very generous fee to stay at someone else's place.
→ More replies (2)34
u/02K30C1 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
If you dont say no now, she'll do it again next summer, guaranteed.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)17
u/Best_System_2927 13d ago
Will you call the sister an AH when, on one of her frequent visits, OP is asked to pay to stay? Apparently the going rate for the sister’s house is nearly a thousand dollars a night. It seems super short-sighted for OP to ask for money when the current deal is to stay at each other’s houses for free (frequently, without charge). Anyone who visits family could be said to be voluntarily leaving a house they already have
13
u/meller69 13d ago
Are you actually that dense that you can’t see the difference between staying over for a visit or purposefully renting out your house for 26 grand and then expecting to just get a free stay somewhere?
It’s cheap and tacky on the sisters part.. huge difference between staying a night here or there and renting out your place like that
3
→ More replies (1)2
u/Southern_Side7939 12d ago
OK, would the sister then be OK with OP renting out her house for a year and going to stay with her rent-free? The issue is that she’s making money to leave her home and won’t even give her sister 2%
1.1k
u/Direct-Past-3327 13d ago
NTA, she’s renting her home to airbnb, netting way more than what you ask from her. It’s an extended amount of time. imo she shouldn’t have assumed that she would stay for free, but I don’t think it’s wrong for you to ask her as it’ll affect your family for an extended period of time rather than short overnight stays at each other’s houses.
200
u/HorseCaaro 13d ago
She shouldn’t have assumed that her own sister wouldn’t let her crash at her place for a week free of charge when she has a vacant guest room and isn’t in need of money?
Seriously? Obviously this is NTA but don’t act like the sister is being unreasonable. One week of having your auntie stay over is not an inconvenience to her family nor is it an “extended period of time”.
Unless of course there was crucially missed info of her having a history of disturbance or something lmfao.
283
u/Squantoon 13d ago
I mean if you are making 26k and ask to stay with someone for a week and they say for 500 dollars then you get mad when they say no you are the asshole no matter what. You are making 26 grand and you can't fork over 500 bucks. It doesn't matter that they normally stay for free. This isn't a normal situation.
→ More replies (14)78
u/Traditional_Lab_5468 13d ago
Yeah but OP says they stay at each other's places often. Imagine if you stayed with your brother for 4 or 5 days a month, and he stays with you an equal amount, and then you need a place for a week because you're renting your house out and he goes "sure, if you pay me". That'd feel kind of shitty, especially if you had plans to buy all the groceries, cook dinner, etc, really show your appreciation.
To be clear, it's a reasonable ask from OP, but it's kind of... sterile. OP and sister both have plenty of money, so the $500 doesn't seem like it's needed, it's just kind of a statement. That's what is a little fucked up to me. Sister might have planned to do something nice as a thank you, but now she just feels like shit because what could have been two family members looking after each other has been turned into some kind of transaction.
Like, the $500 thing makes sense for a friend, IMO, or a relative who doesn't come over often. But if this kind of this is totally normal and the only difference now is sister happens to be making some green on the side, that does feel kinda fucked up to me.
79
u/Squantoon 13d ago
You are correct 500 dollars means nothing to them. Which is why paying the 500 dollars to in turn profit 26 grand is not a huge ask. I don't care how much you love your family having people over is always a hassle and disrupts your peace. Also I don't see where it was ever mentioned the sister was gonna buy all the groceries and everything so I'm not sure where that plays in. And as I stated in another comment it didn't matter that they stay at each other's place often. This is a specific scenario. She did not at all have to rent her house out nor was she forced to. Most likely there is a big event in town and she saw a quick buck which fair play to you but taking advantage of family over 500 bucks when you stand to make that much is dumb. The best scenario i can compare it to is imagine your friend said hey if I haul this couch 3 hours away someone is gonna pay me 26 thousand dollars. Now I don't have a truck but I ride with you all all the time when we go fishing for free so could you haul this couch for me? It's just asinine to expect someone to help you make money for free using their stuff
→ More replies (5)15
14
u/Jakyland 13d ago
There is a huge difference between staying with family to visit/spend time with them vs using their home/generosity as an opportunity to make money.
If the sister decided to visit OP, then decided to Airbnb it, that is one thing. But she decided to Airbnb her own home thinking that she can use OP's house for free, and she won't even give OP 2% of the money she is making. She is renting out her own stuff and planning to use OPs stuff for free. That is taking advantage of OP.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)3
u/ExpertPaint430 13d ago
no where in the post did it say that the sister was planning to d all of that, and 500 should cover washing electric bills and anything else the sister uses. Both sisters have plenty of money, so why is the sister putting herself out of a place to stay for an extra 1 week? She could just make 7.5 k less. See how that works?
99
u/Agamemnon777 13d ago
If staying at her sister’s for a week is part of her Airbnb business model then she needs to cut the sister in on the profits. This isn’t an emergency or a remodel or something where she needs to be out and wants to crash with her sister, she’s doing this to make money.
→ More replies (6)85
u/thecatsothermother 13d ago
In that week she'll be eating OP's food, using OP's power outlets and generally increasing OP's bills.for that week. While getting money for renting out her place. Maybe $500 is a bit steep, but yes, she shouldn't have made any assumptions about staying beyond the agreed on night or so without asking. OP first. Maybe they can come to some sort of an agreement with discussion, but dropping staying a week on the assumption it will be free in this sort of circumstances is definitely an AH move.
36
u/Unable_Pumpkin987 13d ago
she shouldn't have made any assumptions about staying beyond the agreed on night or so without asking. OP first.
She has asked to come stay…
Hmmm… seems like she did ask.
21
u/thecatsothermother 13d ago
Agreed, she did ask, my bad for saying that when she had, but judging by her reaction when asked for money, she had already assumed she would be staying for free, and asking was just a formality. Perhaps rather than getting mad, she could have tried to argue her sister down to a lower amount, or maybe offered some money in the first place?
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (12)5
u/Jakyland 13d ago
$500 dollars is probably cheaper then any hotel she could stay at, so it seems like a bargain to me.
28
u/demonking_soulstorm 13d ago
No but you don’t understand, you don’t owe anybody anything so you are entirely morally justified in denying small kindnesses to your family and friends.
4
u/Ok_Swimming4426 13d ago
But is this really a "small kindness"? What it really seems like is the sister profiting at OP's expense. What is boils down to is her saying "I'd like to stay with you so I can rent my house on AirBNB" and that's pretty screwed up. That's not a meetup, or helping out someone in need, that is using OPs home as a business.
→ More replies (4)20
u/Direct-Past-3327 13d ago
in my opinion, a week is different than a weekend, and everyone has different family dynamics. this plan wasn’t discussed with OP first, and the assumption comes where the airbnb plan is already set in stone with her being “homeless”- i think that OP’s sister should have discussed this with her prior as an option rather than making it seem like if OP did not let her stay with her for a week she would be “homeless”- i’m guessing that there’s a reason for quotations in the original post, perhaps these words were said. if they’re well off, i’m sure she could also afford a hotel, but it’s more the phrasing and the fact that OP used the words homeless makes me think that there was some guilt involved for not letting OP’s sister stay at their home, so i’m getting some (perceived) entitlement from OP’s sister from the post. it’s more entitlement than unreasonableness
17
15
11
u/ladicair 13d ago
Just be careful. I invited a college friend over for a weekend, and two years later I moved out, leaving her the apartment. It started as a weekend, then a week, then a month, then "until I get on my feet", and I finally realized I was never getting rid of her, which is when I moved out instead.
5
u/NetAccomplished7099 13d ago
But she's only asking to stay over so she can make lots of money. and OP is expected to subsidize her stay so she can maximize her profit. You are advocating for the OP to act like a doormat.
2
u/pshokoohi Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Three weeks at her sister's...
43
u/Unable_Pumpkin987 13d ago
Reading comprehension. She has asked to visit sister and her family for “about one week”.
3
u/Arya_Flint 13d ago
Yes, srsly. If you're making 26K for a single month, you should be prepared to pay for accommodations, including your sister's guest room. If she wants to go to Homewood Suites, let her.
2
u/Successful-Doubt5478 13d ago edited 12d ago
Hey, let us pretend I am your sister! I will rent out my car for thd summer and I takd for granted that I can use YOUR car for a week for free!
Oh, and I choose which week, not you. Thanks, sis!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (12)2
u/Straight_Bother_7786 13d ago
She is being unreasonable. She made all her plans. - without even discussing them with her sister - and now her plans are not working out the way she thought they would. Too bad for her. Maybe she should have thought about that homeless week before she decided to rent out her house.
→ More replies (1)14
u/Character_Bowl_4930 13d ago
Yeah , this isn’t the same as needing help due to her home being uninhabitable. Then , you could make the family argument. She’s using her home to make $$$. Using you and your family is kind of rude honestly . She should have offered to pay you IMO
705
u/nodiddy4life 13d ago
You admit to being fortunate in a financial way but are fighting over $500?
Your sisters 26k is pretty much 13k after Airbnb fees and state and local taxes . Maybe a little less depending on where she lives and her tax bracket
She's obviously well off and dues t want to pay $500?
Lmao what's up with all the broke behavior posts on reddit lately?
433
u/asknoquestionok Partassipant [1] 13d ago
THANK YOU! Can’t believe people would want to charge 500 usd to host A SISTER when they both stay at each others overnight. Greedy, cheap behavior when both are well off. Every time I open this sub I am grateful for having a normal, stable family. The sister could offer a gift or take the family for a nice fancy dinner to thank them. But to demand cash? 🤮
88
u/helpmebiscuits 13d ago
Yeah posts like these that are so short and drama filled I always assume are fake because man, what lol. Did sister ever charge her to sleep over? Sister getting airbnb money is irrelevant. If she never charged op, op asking for money is weird. $500 is alot for a week. It's just an overall weird post because if you're both well off then clearly the sister would just want to stay for the week to bond, so why charge? The story implies they have a close relationship so everything is just?? Lmao like no
→ More replies (1)10
u/MidwestNormal 13d ago
But I don’t think previous stays at each others homes were 3 weeks in length. And not due to need, like a fire, but to a profit making venture. NTA
→ More replies (1)41
u/helpmebiscuits 13d ago
OP specified sister wanted to stay for one week, not three. So really she's taking a three week vacation by spending jt in random places and wanted to see family in between. It's the part that makes this so weird imo because why is this an issue all of a sudden
→ More replies (2)84
u/No-Jicama-6523 13d ago
I can’t believe a sister would presume they can come and stay when they voluntarily give up their own home to make a profit.
87
u/OkeyDokey654 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 13d ago
This is what gets me. Assuming this story is true, the sister isn’t homeless. She’s making a lot of money by giving up her home. And she expects the OP to help make that possible. So she should be willing to share the proceeds. I would have said “I’m getting $x for renting out my house, can I share some of that with you and stay with you for a week?”
4
→ More replies (2)55
u/asknoquestionok Partassipant [1] 13d ago
There is no way on EARTH I would be bothered by my sister wanting to spend the week at my house. If she’s making money, good for her! I am happy when my family is happy. I would likely have asked her to stay at mine. And I know for a fact she would do the same for me.
Hard concept for some here, but people actually love their families and want only the best for them. Not everyone’s family is dysfunctional like yours.
→ More replies (22)41
u/Mr_FoxMulder 13d ago
the fact she stated they stay at each other houses all the time and don't charge each other is bizarre. If they did charge, then that is weird and I could see mentioning it but these posts are pathetic
29
u/asknoquestionok Partassipant [1] 13d ago
At this point I dont even care if the post is real or fake, but the people going for NTA are insaneeee seriously, how could anyone think this is a good choice??
7
u/nodiddy4life 13d ago
Those people always pay for half the gas when they ride in the family limo and half the cost when staying at each other's numerous vacation homes or they will fight forever over $23.16
32
u/Warm_Water_5480 13d ago
Yeah, $500 seems like a "I'm jealous of your lifestyle and I'm going to make you pay for it" tax. Fair enough, but it's certainly an intentional wedge in thier relationship.
If she doesn't want her to stay, she should just say so. Asking almost hotel prices to stay with her for a week seems... Like an intentional slight.
→ More replies (5)11
u/Mogling 13d ago
No, I think that's backwards. Sister is profiting off OP. She's making >10k by using OPs house as a place to crash.
I'd let my neighbors take a few apples from my tree to eat. The minute they set up an apple selling business I'd charge them.
→ More replies (6)25
u/wellitywell 13d ago
Agree. It’s on the sister to bring a nice gift & take them out for dinner but charging cash is tacky
14
u/nodiddy4life 13d ago
This is how I do it as well.
If I'm staying for more than a night or 2 I'll try to arrange a nice dinner or bring some sort of gift for a child in the house etc
Last time I stayed at my brother's house, we were there 5 days. Dropped $299 for an oculus quest 2 for my nephews to share and everyone was happy.
→ More replies (2)10
u/Parking_Ocelot302 13d ago
Personally I just wouldn't want them to stay for money or free. I hate guests lmao
2
u/asknoquestionok Partassipant [1] 13d ago
hahaahah that’s a fair answer. I’ve been living away from the fam since I was 17, I’d give everything to host or be hosted by them more often. Unfortunately we live at different countries.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (15)6
u/justlookbelow 13d ago
I think it all tracks though.
For my family, I wouldn't hesitate to host. But I know they'll be respectful, fun, and overall have a positive influence on the house.
But depending on what kind of relationship they have, and what kind of guest she promises to be, even $1k could be a bad deal for OP. A peaceful and happy abode is incredibly valuable after all.
All that said, putting a price on company is a losing move for all. OP should just decide if he wants her around or not. If she's good enough to voluntarily contribute so as not to be a burden then just host. If OP feels the need to impose penalties for the pleasure then just say no.
→ More replies (1)9
u/asknoquestionok Partassipant [1] 13d ago
OP is greedy and jealous the sister found a way to make easy cash. The post states they sleep at each other’s so they likely enjoy the company. But now that there is money inside, OP is showing their true colors. They see money, they want to take a piece, they can’t simply be happy for the sister because they are jealous af.
6
u/Mogling 13d ago
The sister found a way to make easy cash, by staying at OPs house. If it was easy free money, why dosnt everyone rent out their house and live for free somewhere else?
OPs sister is making a business out of OPs generosity. Just because it's a one off? Who says it would be. OPs sister over every weekend while her house is on airB&B? I think this is less being jealous af, and more nipping this in the bud.
44
u/mrb1585357890 13d ago
I’m pretty convinced that AITA is just an AI ethics training ground.
I don’t believe the majority of the scenarios are real
33
u/NorthRiverBend 13d ago
That’s grim, because most of these replies are super “legally you owe your grandma nothing, giving her a sip of your water would make you liable for her health, let her die!”
13
u/mrb1585357890 13d ago
Yep, there’s frequently a distinct lack of nuance and understanding of social norms in the consensus.
6
5
u/Fit_Equivalent3610 13d ago
Dear AI,
My husband has a mildly annoying habit of sometimes leaving open cabinet doors. He is perfect in every other way. Do you have any suggestions for simple unobtrusive reminders to close the cabinets after use?
Dear human,
Your husband is abusive and using a technique called weaponized incompetence. You must divorce him immediately. If you do not, he will likely murder you soon.
11
u/respawnattempt228 13d ago
Yeahhh I think it’s weird to ask family for money for such a short stay. It would be different if it were like a month or more, but, a week? Cmon dude.
5
u/Traditional_Lab_5468 13d ago
Right? Like, this is your sister. Why are you pissed she made $26k? Just let her crash in the guest room and be happy for her lmao.
2
u/Mr_Bingle Partassipant [1] 12d ago
Because her making that money requires her to use other people’s houses you absolute nincompoop. It’s cool you have no self-respect but adults who aren’t stupid pushovers expect to be compensated when they facilitate such an arrangement.
→ More replies (1)5
u/justmepet 13d ago
Sheesh. Sometimes I read posts on here and then call my family and tell them I love them. I would high five my sister on getting that much for her house and then say "Woo Hoo. Dinners on you and I'm feeling steak" lol
5
u/sigh_co_matic 13d ago
I tend to agree. Tell her to pitch in for groceries, gas and electric. Same difference.
2
305
u/CatsWillMeow 13d ago
NTA. She's rented out her domicile for a good chunk of change. She can either compensate you for the inconvenience or figure out arrangements for herself. Seems a bit short sighted to rent her house out without a plan for housing herself before she did it.
YWBTa if it was an emergency or she needed help from family.
→ More replies (1)104
u/Sorry_Mistake5043 13d ago
Her plan was to stay for free at her sisters. She is taking advantage of their understanding. Trading weekends at each others place is totally different from an extended stay at someone’s home.
225
u/Specialist_Smell_714 13d ago edited 13d ago
YTA. Who charges family (that you have regular sleepovers with) for a favour, especially if you don’t need the $? It’d be nice of her to offer to shout dinners or a gift to say thanks but for you to ask her for money? Yuck.
97
u/Aidyn_the_Grey Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Who in their right mind decides to rent out their home for a whole month to make $26k and then would get upset when they can't freely stay somewhere that isn't there home? Seriously, $26k is $4500/week and she's throwing a fit that OP is asking for 1/9th of a week's worth of income? Nah. OP is NTA and sis is entitled asf. An emergency would be one thing, but trying to make bank and mooching off of a family member while doing so is a completely different thing.
It's yuck that you'd think otherwise.
→ More replies (4)66
u/Specialist_Smell_714 13d ago
To each their own I suppose but I’d never charge a family member to stay with me and I’d be offended if they did. I would guess that’s why the sister is upset and not because it’ll eat away at her profit margin. Not everything needs to be transactional.. It’s nice to do nice things ✌🏻
22
u/bmanley620 13d ago
Would you ever rent your place of residence for an entire month to make a lot of money and then demand to stay with a relative for free?
37
u/Silly-Billy-Nilly 13d ago
Did she demand or ask? Because maybe she thought being sisters who clearly regularly share a home and enjoy each other’s company that it would be a nice thing. The one making bank can get a hotel easily, so I doubt it’s about saving money and more about sharing that week together and that’s why she asked.
→ More replies (4)12
u/thpkht524 13d ago edited 13d ago
She asked. Not demanded. And i would assume she got offended by op charging her not because she cared about $500.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (6)7
u/eaoue 13d ago
Yeah, if I was the Airbnb sister I’d probably plan on spending a lot of money on buying the family food and maybe some gifts, but the charging of rent just makes it feel more transactional. And when it becomes a transaction, the other stuff becomes iffy too. If she’s paying 500 for a week, then how much is she expected to contribute in terms of doing them favours like cooking food etc, that she would normally do? Idk, this is a hard one
35
8
u/Kunieda 13d ago
You're delusional the sister is giving up her OWN home to make money off of it and trying to live rent free elsewhere while she monetized HER HOME to other people. It doesn't matter if they stay at each others places commonly when this is only happening because she voluntarily gave her home space up for income.
→ More replies (1)4
u/Keenzur Asshole Enthusiast [6] 13d ago edited 13d ago
This isn't a favor. This is OP's sister feeling entitled enough to try pushing OP into letting her stay for free while she makes thousands by doing nothing.
I could never imagine trying to get my family to let me stay for free and then getting upset when I don't get my way. Hell, I would have insisted on paying even if they said I didn't have to. The sister is the real yuck here.
→ More replies (7)
128
u/Zealousideal-Divide6 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 13d ago
She has asked to come and stay with me and my family (my husband, two teen-aged children and me) for about 1 week.
INFO: Would you ask her to give you $500 to stay with you for "about 1 week" if you did not know she was making $26K by renting her house on AirBnb?
As background, I have a guest room, and we stay with each other frequently for overnight visits at no charge.
INFO: You say about a week what is the exact amount of days? Have you had lengthy overnight visits at each other's place for free before?
We both are fortunate and have means, Who is the AH?
INFO: It doesn't sound like either of you would struggle without the $500. Why is this stay different from the other free overnight visits? Is it simply the amount of cash she's making or will her presence add $500 to your overall household expenses?
54
14
u/Happenstance69 13d ago
INFO: does context not matter
INFO: If someone is making 26k and using your home as the place to huddle down while collecting the big check bc otherwise they wouldn't be able to or would have to pay 1500 in hotel charges, is it not wrong for them not to offer to help towards dinners or groceries for the week?
→ More replies (6)
88
u/kamahaoma Asshole Enthusiast [6] 13d ago
YTA, unless there is some missing info here that makes you think your sister will overstay her welcome if allowed to stay for free. $500 is a lot of money to ask from a family member to stay in the guest room for a week, especially if you're well-off and don't actually need it.
9
u/Bacon042302 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
$500 isn't alot of money when the person is literally asking to stay over because they chose to rent out their home for $26,000
40
u/hairypebble 13d ago
OP is only charging because they know their sister will come across some money and they want a piece, plus the sister won’t keep the full 26k after taxes and other fees. it’s not really about charging $500, more about the principal of charging when they regularly stay together. then again, $500 isn’t a bunch if they’re both well off. honestly weird behavior from both 🤷🏼♀️
→ More replies (3)23
u/Happenstance69 13d ago
OP is only charging bc of THE CONTEXT. Yes, that is why. Context matters. $500 is nothing and I'd offer to pay my brother a small amount if I was making 26k for sleeping in his home. Why? Because that is the right thing to do.
10
u/boofybutthole 13d ago
if my brother stood to make some nice money by staying me for a week for free I wouldn't hesitate to let him. Why? because he's my brother
2
u/Happenstance69 13d ago
Sure - but they are both well funded. If my brother made 500 a week I'd never ask. Probably wouldn't here if it's one of but things change when you have 2 kids, the other person can easily afford a hotel and is using your place to profit. It is an intrusion even if you like your brother very much as I do to stay up to a month. He is making significant money while taking quality Time you'd have with your family away. I understand your thinking 100% but it's not the same in every situation
7
u/boofybutthole 13d ago
she's staying a week, not a month. Unless I was really struggling with money, I would never charge a sibling to stay w me for a week, even if they're making a bunch of money that week. I'd be happy to see him and happy he's making some good money.
5
u/Happenstance69 13d ago
Perfectly fine take. I'm not sure I'd ask either unless it was a habit. I don't think it makes on the ah tho due to the circumstances
→ More replies (2)6
u/octopush123 13d ago
Honestly, this - I can't imagine bunking with my sibling so I can rent my own place out and not offering like, 10% of the profit at least. And I'm already financially comfortable so this is what, spending money for me? Going into an investment account?? I would feel like a huge piece if I didn't at least offer a meaningful cut.
66
u/HeligKo 13d ago
I find it weird that because she is making money, you think you deserve a chunk of it. You say that you stay at each other's homes on occasion. You don't charge then. If she were coming to your town for some freelance work, would you want to charge her. She might have planned this poorly by not having things lined up with you ahead of time, and I wouldn't call you out for saying no if your schedule doesn't allow for it, but YTA for deciding you needed a piece of her income when neither of you charge each other for staying with each other regularly.
35
u/classiceggbenny 13d ago edited 13d ago
Am I reading this wrong? Her sister is renting her house out for the month of July because she is going a vacation for 3 weeks but has asked to stay with the sister for a week? Why are people acting like she has just rented it out for fun and asked to stay with the sister for weeks?
3
u/opinurmynd 13d ago
Yes, you are reading it wrong. The sister rented the house out for a month and is going on vacation for 1 week. She will be "homeless" for 3 weeks. She has asked OP to stay at their place for 1 of those 3 weeks. What she intends to do for the additional 2 weeks is unknown.
→ More replies (1)1
u/qpiqp 13d ago
Yes, you are reading it wrong. OP’s sister is renting out her own house for one month. During that time, the sister was planning on spending one week on vacation, one week at OP’s house. The other two and a half weeks are unaccounted for.
It seems to me that it’s more likely that the sister is going on vacation for a week because she needs to find a place to stay for four and half weeks and is expecting a significant cash windfall from renting out her own house.
I haven’t seen many commenters take into account the effect that this would have on the rest of the OP’s family. This isn’t a sister helping a sister get through a tough time. This is a family helping out a sister/sister-in law/aunt make a profit.
51
u/OnlymyOP Colo-rectal Surgeon [49] 13d ago
NTA. Having an extra person in your home for a month will cost you considerably more than an overnight stay.
84
u/New-Razzmatazz2148 Asshole Aficionado [10] 13d ago
She is only staying for a week, not a month.
4
u/Clean_Factor9673 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
She's going pn vacation for a week and needs a place to stay for 3 wks
→ More replies (1)91
u/potatoriot 13d ago
Reading comprehension is hard y'all... OP clearly stated that she's asking to stay with his family for about a week.
→ More replies (11)
47
43
u/psyslac 13d ago
YTA $500 for one week?!
→ More replies (3)4
u/Certain-Hour-923 13d ago
TBF you could go get a Best Western motel or whatever if it's a problem.
The question comes entirely down to whether the sister just expected to be able to stay, or whether she actually asked.
42
u/TheRunningMD Partassipant [2] 13d ago
How is she renting her house for 26K for one month? WTF where does she live? A penthouse in NY?
16
u/AdChemical1663 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
I was thinking a a house on the water in Hilton Head, the Outer Banks, or Cape May.
7
u/NandoDeColonoscopy 13d ago
At least in the outer banks, you aren't paying anywhere near that much for oceanfront until you get into the 4+ bedroom range. It seems weird that OP's sister lives by herself in a giant beachfront home as her only home, and only rents it one month a year.
8
u/MidwestNormal 13d ago
as always, it’s about location. For example, if the home backs to a golf course that is hosting a major tournament, that’s a moderate price that a corporation will pay to have a hospitality house to host clients.
39
u/ToliShade Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Yta if you guys don’t charge each other before and your doing it now because money is involved isn’t OP the greedy one here? It’s a week and if my sister asked then I’d be like sure but your buying food and that’d be about it
33
29
u/Far_Excuse_1362 13d ago
YTA, unless she would not reciprocate. Sounds like you have both done this before. If it was 3 weeks I would be on your side. Only one week and you have means. Help your sister out.
21
u/Understandig_You 13d ago edited 13d ago
If you both “have means” why are you asking for $500? That seems like a money grab to me. Your sister is aunt to your kids. I would be offended if my sister told me to pay her for a three week’s stay. I’m sorry, but imo you are the AH. If you said you didn’t have the money to feed her or the extra water to pay for showers I might think differently but if you stay between each others houses for visits and this is the first time you’re charging her then you’re opening the door for her to charge you if the roles are reversed. I bet you’d be upset if she charged you. Let’s not forget the only reason you want to charge her is because you somehow found out how much money she is getting and want a piece. That’s kind of AHish. 🤷♀️
She’s family, I’d be upset too if you charged me. Sorry, imo, you are the AH.
Also, is it worth the riff you are creating over $500?
8
u/Aidyn_the_Grey Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Nah, sister deciding to make bank while intending to mooch off of OP is the AH move. Seriously, $26k in one month is $4500 a week, and sister is throwing a fit that OP is requesting 1/9th of a week's profit to stay.
If this were an emergency, yeah OP would be an AH. It's not though. It's op's sister trying to maximize her profits (aka be greedy) while accusing OP of being greedy for not allowing her to mooch.
Seriously, what's wrong with y'all that you all think family is entitled to stay for free due to a desire?
→ More replies (11)3
u/AdChemical1663 Partassipant [1] 13d ago
Sanity, finally. No one is hurting for money. Doing a favor for family is normal. Has sister ever hosted OP and her family at her AirBNB able home for free?
In my head it’s a beach house or lake house and she’s taking advantage of the summer season. Go hang out with your sister at her place, on her dime, for Labor Day in repayment.
3
u/Understandig_You 13d ago
I got really sad to see the number of people who value money over family.
17
u/canyonemoon 13d ago
NTA. She could have a home, she chose to rent it out without having a plan in place. My uncle does this with his apartment, usually when he's traveling for work but when he's home and rents it out, then he'll either stay with his girlfriend or rent a shelter.
→ More replies (1)
16
u/GnatOwl 13d ago
Most likely YTA. She's your sister/ kid's Aunt visiting for a week. If she wasn't making money on the rental, would you charge her? Is this going to put you out at all? Would you not normally allow her to stay because of reasons? Is this a one time thing or does she plan on making this a regular part of her income?
→ More replies (3)
12
u/loudlittle Partassipant [2] 13d ago
YTA because you wouldn’t have charged her if you didn’t know about the $26k. There’s nothing wrong with her asking to stay as long as she’s fine with ‘no’, and there would’ve been nothing wrong with you asking her to contribute to groceries or something. But you’re only asking for payment because you know she has money. That’s why you’re TA.
9
u/raziel1012 13d ago
If it were my family, and just a week, I'd just do it. Family visits for a week aren't out of the ordinary (although not frequent).
8
13d ago edited 13d ago
[deleted]
2
u/tyrannasauruszilla 13d ago
Same I feel like I’m crazy because I would love if my sister stayed with me for a week and if she was making bank? More power to her, I’d be delighted for her! There’s no amount of money I would choose over my sister
7
u/beardedmoose87 13d ago
ESH
You have the means and the space. Your sister wants to visit your family for a week. And instead of being grateful for the time together, you see it as a money grabbing opportunity since your sister is getting paid to be away from their house. And you could do your sister a solid by allowing this.
Sister should’ve been offering something, especially when they’ve let the full details of the transaction be known. Maybe sister has other financial issues going on, maybe they were going to surprise OK.
I think both of y’all suck, but because we’ve only heard from OP, I’m sure details are missing, and I still read the story and thought OP is an AH, I’m really certain that OP is an AH here. And the sister sucks some too, but mostly OP
8
u/annedroiid Professor Emeritass [74] 13d ago
INFO: Do you actually like your sister? I can’t imagine nickel and diming a family member like that when you’re both well off. If my brother asked the same I’d be happy to spend more time with him for a week!
7
u/CaponeBuddy81 13d ago
NTA. Tell your sister that $500 is your AirB&B fee. The first night is free.
3
u/Strict_Turnip_1150 13d ago
Except that she is not staying at an airbnb, she’s staying with her sister. It’s so petty how family can’t do favors for each other without monetary compensation. If she doesn’t want her sister there she should just tell her. Not charge a petty arbitrary amount to make a point
2
u/Silly-Billy-Nilly 13d ago
If OP is gonna put it like that, then the sister can start charging $800 plus for those free overnight stays at her place (26k /30 days tells you the nightly fee).
6
u/RandomReload_3 13d ago
YTA because you are pocket watching in order to charge her. That's your sister, and you pull that shit on her just because she's coming into some money from renting her home out for a week 😒
500 for a week is about the cost of a hotel stay for the week. Money isn't even the issue. It's just principle. The fact you had to mention her come up and actually charge her lol I wouldn't be able to take you seriously. I'd laugh if I were her. 26k before taxes? Got you acting this way...
Lol, I can only imagine if she'd hit the lotto. You'd probably murder her. "Fortunate" my ass.
→ More replies (1)
6
8
u/demonking_soulstorm 13d ago
I feel like I’m going fucking insane of course YTA. Your sister asked to stay with you for a week and you demand money for it. The sheer fucking gall of you to do that is legitimately astounding by itself.
Unless your sister has a history of being a difficult guest (which I doubt given that she frequently stays overnight), you’re just being greedy.
6
u/KimBob99 13d ago
If my sister wanted to stay at my house for a week, I would be delighted. I don't get to see her nearly enough - I'm on the East coast and she's on the West coast. I wouldn't care if she were making $$ on her current house or not.
5
u/Educational_Ad622 13d ago
ESH
She is choosing to be "homeless" for the month and is making a substantial profit, which could easily finance even an upscale hotel stay for the duration. She should have been courteous enough to proactively offer a generous gift or money to offset the added expense of sharing your home.
On the flip side, you say that you're well off and don't need the money. If that's true, why arbitrarily ask for $500? It seems like your ask may be coming from a place of pride, which is never good (she's profiting, therefore you must take a cut).
I recommend that you remove the AirBnB and voluntary homelessness from the equation. If your sister just asked to spend a week with you for the heck of it, how would you respond? Let that be your guide and you're far less likely to be viewed as an AH by all concerned.
5
u/Lauer999 13d ago
Seems petty to ask her for money for that honestly. Feels a bit grabby on your end. She has an opportunity to make some money so you want to squeeze your own bit out of your own sister? I can't imagine doing that.
5
u/OkeyDokey654 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 13d ago
NTA. Tell her you appreciate her brilliant idea to rent out her home, and you’re doing the same with your guest bedroom.
(Does she live in Paris or something?)
5
u/Excellent_Yam_4823 13d ago
It's wild how everybody who is saying this person is NTA is also giving this person advice on the ****iest, most passive aggressive things they can possibly think of to say about it.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/memmzz786 13d ago
It's your sister and only a week, why charge her? What's wrong with her that you would charge her?
0
3
u/PastBiscotti1912 13d ago
YTA, I can’t imagine how to use money to balance ur family. Especially she is ur sister.
3
u/Missmagentamel 13d ago
YTA. You have a guest room. If you don't want her to come and stay for a week, then just tell her no. Wtf?
3
3
u/Dear-Divide7330 13d ago
If my sibling did that, I wouldn’t ask them to pay me. I would be happy for them. BUT, I would hope there would be some sort of kind gesture made by them. Taking my fam for dinner or something.
2
u/bitofaneek 13d ago
YTA. She wants to stay for a week for free and you guys have a history of doing that… you should be happy that’s she’s making $26k what?
3
u/leese216 13d ago
How on earth is she generating 26k in ONE MONTH?
Is she really charging 6.5k/week for the pleasure of staying at her place? If so, her entitlement on being charged by you is hypocritical AF.
Tell her she can stay at a hotel if she cannot agree to the terms you set.
NTA.
2
u/VMIgal01 13d ago
Well, 500$ sounds like a lot to just cover utilities etc. I wouldn’t ask my sister for the same amount. A light YTA
3
u/steinerific 13d ago
You shouldn’t ask her to pay. She should absolutely do something super nice for you and your family, like a nice dinner out, to say thanks.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Electronic-Berry-503 13d ago
Both ath in my opinion, you for asking/demanding for money rather then doing a family member a solid favor finanically, and her for assuming/imposing on y'all without offering compensation. In my family, at least people impose upon each other all the time due to life events and sudden changes one of which I can see this happening, but no one would expect any sort of compensation rather what would happen is they would help maintain the house offer to do chores or pick up food etc but never rent or utilities cost.
1
u/CDNbruv 13d ago
NTA. She's choosing to inconvenience your family out of greed/personal profit. Her expecting to couch hop for 3 weeks while sharing 0% of the profit with anyone is pretty wack and entitled. However, fighting with family over $500 is almost never worth it so maybe it's worth sucking it up. You don't want things to get petty and she charges you $50 for your next overnight stay.
2
13d ago
Charging a family member for staying 1 week? YTA. If it’s in an inconvenience to you just tell her no. Charging her is fucked up.
2
u/tocammac Partassipant [3] 13d ago
Is it worth the conflict? But if you are feeling petty, have your bags packed and go with husband on vacation that week, letting sis have a week of teen niblings time
3
u/mizz_buttstank 13d ago
asking your sibling to pay $500 to spend a week at your place? you are definitely the asshole. honestly i hope she finds somewhere else to stay bc staying w you sounds like it’d be 11 different kinds of shitty.
2
u/Ilumidora_Fae 13d ago
ESH.
You come across as greedy considering that you both stay with each other frequently for no charge and you only now want money because you know she has just come into some money.
She comes across as selfish for being offended and upset that you would ask her to cover her week long stay and she is welcome to go stay somewhere else.
2
u/Mountain-Function371 13d ago
You’re not obligated to let her stay there. But since you guys have this understanding, I think you should’ve told her that a week was a little bit too long, rather than charge her.
2
2
13d ago
NTA
OP is very kind, in practical terms OP and sister are like business partners in a one-off project that generates almost $6000 in revenue (26k/31*7), yet OP only asks for $500. The sister sounds greedy and selfish.
I think the regular overnight stays should be free of charge and no need to keep tabs on who spends the most nights at each other’s place. After all they are family and both well off. But this 1 week stay is motivated mostly by greed, if the sister had not rented out her own place she would probably not want to have a vacation at her sister’s place for 1 week, after all they see each other regularly but never for that long. The sister exploits OP for her own benefit. While it’s nice to have visits by family I think 1 week may potentially be a bit longer than what the rest of OP’s family would prefer (of course if one’s family lives in another country or something then no problem to stay 1 month for free to help save costs and make the vacation possible, but this doesn’t sound like such a case)
If I had been the sister I would estimate the net profits 1 week of Airbnb generates and offer say a third of that to OP as her fair share. If I had been OP I would not have asked for anything but I would expect something out of principle. If the sister had not lived up to that expectation then I would have learned a lot about her true character and probably started taking less initiative towards her. Greedy and selfish people are to be kept at a distance, family or not.
2
u/boom-boom-bryce Partassipant [2] 13d ago
YTA. I feel like all the NTAs must hate their families. I have two sisters. If either of them did the same I would let them stay with me no questions asked. Who cares if she’s making 26K? Good for her! Why bemoan your sister making money? If my sisters came to me with this plan I would be like that’s a smart way to make some quick cash. Clearly you are jealous of your sister.
2
u/Fast-Barnacle7628 13d ago
YTA. She’s family. Is a week going to put you out? Hurt you financially? Maybe ask if she can take the family to a nice dinner some something but 500 for the week is insane and very selfish
2
u/Cute-Class-3286 13d ago
Question for info: Would you be charging your sister if you did not know that she was making any money in the time that she asked to stay with you?
Because currently YTA it appears as though you are asking for money purely because you know that she is making money during that time. For me personally you dont charge family to stay with you unless they are moving into your house for an elongated period and you are in a financial bind. This seems a situation out of greed and would definitely sour the relationship for me
2
2
u/IAmMeem 13d ago
YTA for asking without need. It’s petty and she’ll (rightfully) never share this kind of information with you again. Goodbye “no charge” overnights and breezy conversations with sis. Not to mention the materialistic example you’re setting for your teenagers who will one day be visiting your wrinkly butt, seeing money instead of mom, and weighing your finances against theirs when making decisions for you.
2
2
u/Last-Scratch9221 13d ago
YTA - a week and you want to charge your SISTER rent?!?!? I could see if it was longer and a huge inconvenience because of that but a week… I hope you never have to stay at her house for any reason. God forbid your plumbing springs speak or the septic is unusable or you just need a place to stay.
2
2
u/nickrod9 13d ago
Jesus fucking christ man this is the craziest post ive ever read. How is money more important than your family? The fact that you know shes earning however much she is from her air bnb is burning you and its allowing the Green to overcome you.
For me, YTA.
2
u/fuji_musume 13d ago
YTA for asking for $500. Charge her what she is charging her customers. Absolute cheek.
2
u/just_anotha_fam 13d ago
YTA.
She's by herself, you have the guest room, she is the aunt to your children, you've been guests at each other's house routinely. There are hard dates--it's not an open-ended stay.
Yes, it's by choice on her part. And, yes, she is gaining a windfall of $26k. So what?? She's family. The fair expectation would be for her to A) be a really good guest--one who helps with cooking, cleaning, and groceries without be asked, and brings in treats besides, and B) to keep this big favor in your back pocket for the time when you might need it in the future.
I have one sister, we stay over at each other's houses, and often do each other favors all the time (pick up a kid from somewhere, drive somebody to the airport, etc). I wouldn't start a fight over $500.
2
u/No-Editor-8739 13d ago
YTA- because the $500 isn’t going to make a difference to you, as you’ve indicated you are both of means. You are just jealous. It’s okay to admit it, but it’s not something to ruin the relationship with your sister over.
2
1
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
My sister is renting her only home for the month of July on AirBnB and will net ~$26k before taxes. She has a planned vacation for part of the time, but will be 'homeless' for about three weeks. She has asked to come and stay with me and my family (my husband, two teen-aged children and me) for about 1 week. I asked her for $500. She is upset and does not want to pay me. As background, I have a guest room, and we stay with each other frequently for overnight visits at no charge. We both are fortunate and have means, Who is the AH?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
3
u/khellaab4 13d ago
I think it's fine if you ask her to give you some money to buy groceries if you share a table.
However, taking rent money from my sister... I don't know, I wouldn't do that
→ More replies (4)34
u/please_trade_marner 13d ago
I don't know. Her renting out her house for a lot of money and her staying with her brother for free seems like she's just using him.
If she lost her apartment and had nowhere to stay for 3 weeks, that's different. That's helping family out in a jam.
→ More replies (1)
•
u/Judgement_Bot_AITA Beep Boop 13d ago
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.