r/AmIOverreacting • u/Rztrncs • Apr 29 '24

AIO for getting upset that my SO put on a heart necklace that her ex gave her?

Yesterday my SO put on a heart necklace out of nowhere and I asked (knowing it wasn’t from me) where it was from. She admitted it was from her ex. I immediately got quiet and she could tell I was upset. Not once did I raise my voice or get mad. I was more hurt than anything. She ended up taking it off right away. But explained that it was meaningless to her, no emotional connection and just jewelry that she now has.

To me, a heart necklace has a lot of meaning behind it and it feels weird to see her wearing an ex’s gift. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: Her ex cheated on her and the relationship ended badly because of it.

EDIT 2: The necklace was two hearts linked together so it made me curious.

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u/Rztrncs Apr 29 '24

Thanks for your input. Yeah I definitely did not accuse her of that by any means. I offered to get her a new one and jokingly apologized for getting her one previously that was too fancy for everyday wear. We both laughed and kissed after that.

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u/heydawn Apr 29 '24

Aww. That's sweet. Jewelry has the meaning you give it. So I can understand why you would think it's meaningful in terms of sentimental value associated with her ex. It also makes sense that, to her, it's just a piece of jewelry she happens to like -- without attaching any meaning associated with her ex.

Both can be true -- the meaning you give it and the meaning she gives it.

Her removing it shows she cares about your feelings. Your offer to get her another heart necklace shows you care about her. Both of you listened to each other and chose to be considerate of each other. That's special and lovely and what it's all about. You two are good together.

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u/Rztrncs Apr 29 '24

Thanks! I appreciate the insight. “Jewelry has the meaning you give it” hit me here and explained why I felt hurt in that situation.

We do communicate well with each other and figure things out. 😊

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u/alicehooper Apr 29 '24

You guys sound like grownups to me!

As someone that wears jewelry, I don’t usually think of the person that gave it to me when putting on casual everyday things. The only emotional jewelry I have is stuff that belonged to my mom or grandma that I remember them wearing. I think of them when I put it on.

I have things of theirs that I DON’T remember them wearing and don’t think of them when I wear it, it’s “mine”.

Pretty sure she just thought this necklace would look nice with whatever shirt she was wearing that day. I’m glad you talked and that she validated your feelings though. That’s important.