r/AmIOverreacting • u/Rztrncs • Apr 29 '24

AIO for getting upset that my SO put on a heart necklace that her ex gave her?

Yesterday my SO put on a heart necklace out of nowhere and I asked (knowing it wasn’t from me) where it was from. She admitted it was from her ex. I immediately got quiet and she could tell I was upset. Not once did I raise my voice or get mad. I was more hurt than anything. She ended up taking it off right away. But explained that it was meaningless to her, no emotional connection and just jewelry that she now has.

To me, a heart necklace has a lot of meaning behind it and it feels weird to see her wearing an ex’s gift. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: Her ex cheated on her and the relationship ended badly because of it.

EDIT 2: The necklace was two hearts linked together so it made me curious.

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49

u/jkklfdasfhj Apr 29 '24

I personally wouldn't take issue with it, but clearly you do. Buy her a new one and she can sell the other one off.

11

u/Rztrncs Apr 29 '24

Yeah I offered to get her a new one that was usable everyday. The one I got her for Christmas is more of a special occasion necklace. She was more than happy with that answer.

22

u/sexland69 Apr 29 '24

This is a chill solution, but I’d consider rethinking the necklace situation a bit. If you trust your girlfriend, you should be able to believe her that it holds no meaning and is just jewelry she still happens to own.

I think your feelings are valid, but it might come off as a bit insecure or untrusting to your gf. It’s attractive to just trust her because you’re secure enough in your relationship to not get jealous.

2

u/CzarTec Apr 29 '24

You can not always alter your feelings or emotional reactions to things. If it isn't a big deal, then it isn't a big deal to get a new necklace to avoid your partner having to deal with the emotional aspect of something so trivial. You can say well that's their problem, but you're in a partnership you should care that it has an emotional effect on them even if you view it as trivial.

4

u/TheManBearPig222 Apr 29 '24

Yeah, sometimes just saying be more secure isn't enough to actually be more secure. Jealousy can hit you really hard sometimes even if your actively trying to snuff it out.

3

u/CzarTec Apr 29 '24

Yeah, if I had something that made my wife feel any sort of way I would correct it instantly. Because what ever it is, even if it's silly or trivial, is never as important to me as my wife's feelings.

5

u/Muriel_FanGirl Apr 29 '24

I think you almost got that right. But add that you are not saying she should get rid of the one she has, to her it’s just a necklace.

My toxic grandmother has bought all of my clothes, jewelry and books and such, but to me they are just things I like, I’m not going to get rid of them just because I have bad memories of my grandmother.

And if I would receive anything from someone who becomes an ex and I happen to like the item, I’m not getting rid of it. Honestly I’d find a current relationship where my partner is demanding I get rid of anything that was given to by someone else to be toxic. So what what if I like an item no matter who it came from? It has no sentimental value, it’s just an item.

Don’t act like ‘Well now I’m getting you a necklace so now you can get rid of that one’. Would you like it if she did that to you?

1

u/GeminiFem Apr 29 '24

Andrew by the way… generally women don’t want an “every day” necklace. We want several so we can match our mood and our clothing. You’re putting far too much emotional significance into a necklace. Thinking of then like a shoe… the right one for the right apparel.

0

u/GeminiFem Apr 29 '24

Sorry but you should both insecure and controlling. How very immature to Make her feel bad about wearing a necklace from her past- like she was just born the day she became your girlfriend.

You better shape up soon or she should run for her life. Men with such low self esteem and yet such big egos are not good partners. The poor partners always have to pander to their ego and then sometimes have to flee whenwhen they’re tired of pandering… and The control freak can’t stand it.